//------------------------------//
// Hollow Crown 
// Story: Hexed 
// by Umbra Languish 
//------------------------------//


Hollow Crown




"Ah, Miss Belle. Do come in."

Eurgh. And up went the hackles.

Rarity's best attempts at serenity were all for naught, as she found herself physically shuddering in Blueblood's unpleasant presence. Although she was thankfully spared the true appearance of the fop, she could hear his oily intentions squirming sinuously through the air towards her. Flickering in and out of reality, his speech had morphed into some sort of semi-sentient, vocal monstrosity, attempting to caress her with the most undesirable of silken, worm-like tones.

Being blind only made it worse.

Why, yes. She was still blind. The dressmaker was quite cognizant of how tiresome that was. Yet, … well, even though the causes behind her mysterious ailment escaped her, she had recently donned her deductive headwear, so to speak. Her attempts to figure out the strange effects upon her person had not been in vain. Hm. Or, no, perhaps they had. Nothing more than frown-lines to show for all her pondering, really. But at least she had a good summary of her problems to work with. That was something, yes?

Well. By all accounts, it was apparent that her natural ability to see had been lost. Permanently? She had no idea. All Rarity knew was that the sense had vanished in such an unusual manner that the best medical professionals could not even detect its absence. The revelation had prompted a few very irritating conversations with one needlessly-cynical doctor.

That charlatan! Obfuscating philistine!

Er, one moment.
Ahem.

Right, yes. In summary, there had been rather a lot of bother over the issue, and Rarity's disability had spelled out simply awful ramifications for her profession. How would she design clothes if she couldn't see them? A tragedy, indeed.

But then, another wizardly accident! Swiftly filling up the dark void, her own magic had painted the world with strange, ringing patterns. Unearthly, chiming echoes, somehow born from the many crystals that surrounded her. It felt very odd. Of course, that being said, it was a vast improvement over blindness. Actually, it might even have been superior to her previous state of being. The seamstress had lost her vision for but a night, and in return she had now gained something both less and … more. A new sense, funneled through her ears along with her natural hearing. Two in one.

My, how lovely. Very compact. Petite, you might say. And she did.

So. That, Rarity believed, was the story of how she received what could only be termed a superpower. And yes, she knew how ridiculous that sounded.

Still, it was undeniable. As she carefully felt her way across the slick marble tiling, thick trails of coiling magic floated across her vision. They danced and swirled in the distance, like a watercolor backdrop to this strange, twisted painting of the world. She could see magic itself, it seemed. No, no. It was much more than seeing. For some reason, the arcane realms felt more solid than the bricks and mortar of Canterlot castle. While physical objects were thankfully visible, they were much less … opaque than before. Very mysterious. And quite enthralling! After all, her new sight was capable of penetrating through the mightiest of walls, discerning the unseen truth of the world!

On a side note, the unicorn's ability to distinguish pitch and volume had also become far more refined, as her brain worked furiously to decode the signals it was receiving. A rather strange effect, but quite welcome. She might be able to hold a tune with a bit of tutoring. Yes, she should remember that. Got it? Good.

Now. Downsides. Rarity's newly-boosted sense of hearing was now currently carrying the burden of two. That meant that when she faced a combination of ugly sights and sounds, it overwhelmed her mind with the sheer force of it. Too many concepts arrived all at once, too similar to separate. And unlike her usual vision, she couldn't turn either of the senses off. Covering one's ears was hardly polite.

That was the predicament she had clumsily fallen into. Why, just listening to Blueblood's voice alone was akin to having her head smothered in a greasy towel, such was the sheer smugness in his witless words. It was truly very difficult to ignore the disgusting mess of sensations in which Rarity was forced to wade, but needs must, she gloomily supposed. As it was, her only refuge lay in indignation. Bah and humbug, she inscrutably sneered to herself. Harrumph, and a great many other disapproving utterances.

The monarch she was facing chuckled as if her rather rude thoughts were on display for all to see. Hopefully he wasn't simply amused by her physiognomic contortions. The couturière was trying to be discreet.

"It seems we meet again." The King quirked his lips into a poisonous smirk. "Oh, my. Are you displeased, madam?"

She quickly smoothed out her brow, but it was obviously far too late. Blast!

Blast and damnation. Already, Rarity had revealed too much of her true emotions, foolishly trusting that her blindfold would keep her countenance private. It seemed that a flimsy cloth placed over her forehead was not enough to grant the dressmaker privacy.

Er. Perhaps it was foolish in hindsight, but her error had been a grave mistake to make. Every single grimace was grievously detrimental to her position. It may have set her negotiations back dramatically, and negotiating was all she had left.

It was the unwritten rules, you see, in courtly tradition. Even in a state like this, where all the world seemed to be against you, one must never show … negativity. One must hide it. Hide it all. Hide every speck of fear, hate or disgust, and if at all possible, be graceful and calm to the bitter end. But it wasn't just about masking your face, oh no. The sweat on your brow, the nervous twiching of a tail. Every facet of your body language must hold no trace of weakness.

It was for one's own protection. Scavenger ponies like Blueblood could smell easy prey.

She needed to fix this, now.

Mindful of her restraints, the blind mare dropped into a slight curtsy, stepping around and through the links of her clattering binds. "Not at all!" she swiftly said. "It is simply difficult to tell where I am, or what I am facing, due to my blindness. Why, I certainly meant no offence, your majesty. Rather, I am deeply honored to be in your presence."

Rarity may have been prevaricating slightly. Just a tad.

"Of course you are." Blueblood's ugly, knowing smile made her skin crawl. "And let me just say how nice it is to see you again, my dear. How long has it been, nearly a year now? My, my. How time flies."

Why, that insufferable ponce!

And who exactly did he think he was fooling? The madman had gone and ordered his guards to arrest her, and now he was acting like they had met by chance? Ooh! What nerve! The utter swine!

By treating this so naturally, he was forcing Rarity to act relaxed! In chains? Ludicrous!

Alright, yes. Calm down. Admittedly, his tactics (though crude) were often valid moves in the political game, and the buffoon probably didn't know any better. The ability to act casually was a key part of many interactions, and one had to pretend to be on top at all times. But she still had to deal with these manacles! Placing a mere subject at such a disadvantage was despicable behaviour, especially for somepony who was pretending to be a royal. How childish. Ruffian-like.

At least her quick, dry swallow had gone unnoticed.

Though her internal bluster remained as substantial as ever, the ivory-coated mare was forced to press her hooves firmly to the ground. She had to exert a lot of effort in suppressing the violent tremors that had begun to plague her slim frame.

Rarity was afraid.

It wasn't Blueblood. The irritating pest disgusted her on an emotional level, but that was hardly a debilitating condition for somepony of her social talents. She was a professional. She could have worked through an extended case of exhaustion, dehydration, or other unpleasantness without batting an eyelid. No, now there was something more, something that unsettled her deeply. A living nightmare, given awful form by her eerie sight-beyond-sight.

There was no way it was real, though. That's what Rarity had to tell herself. Nothing like that could possibly exist. It was just a phantom image produced by her strange new sense, one that she need not take any note of. Imaginary, like the wisps of magic floating around her, even now. Intangible, like the unreal colors shading the world.

Ignore it. Ignore it. Ignore it!

The unicorn smiled at everypony around her, but her hasty tapestry of justifications had begun to fray at the edges. Soon it would lie in tatters, and she would have to see the brutal truth.

Unnoticed by all, Blueblood had a … shadow.

It was some sort of twisted doppelgänger. A black, mirror image of the seated stallion, frozen in place, standing just behind his throne. So far, it had remained perfectly still, hovering in mid-air like a Stygian wraith.

Blueblood, the pompous windbag, just postured and preened in front of her. He was clearly ignoring her, and in turn, Rarity was free to keep silent. She was thankful for that much freedom, at least, for the strong undercurrent of fear was threatening to crawl up her throat. Speaking would be difficult, now.

Clearly, that thing was invisible to normal eyes, or there would be rioting amongst the guards and aides. It must have been magical in nature. No physical form, just a tight interlacing of thaumic loops and strands. Since it stood so very close to Blueblood, the hazy figure might have been a depiction of the monarch's internal magic, lit up by the probing exploration of her own. That was a theory, mind. Not a certainty.

But Blueblood? It couldn't be him, could it? While the newly-crowned idiot was acting arrogant and vaguely malicious, that was his usual state. His image was, admittedly, subtly warped and twisted, like her false light feared him somehow. But the fool did not seem nearly abnormal enough to produce the creature behind him.

Because that monster horrified her more than anything ever had before.

The dark reflection of the ruling fool was disgustingly mutilated by what looked like torture. Both jaws were missing, torn off in favor of a bottomless maw, the faint glimmer of stars sparkling dimly in the hungry depths of that immense void. Much like the mouth, the hollows of its eyes had been replaced by fractured, black pits, and a thick skin of boiling shadow pulsed and bubbled in a revolting fashion around all these jagged holes. Only the mane and tail of Blueblood's replica were not dark mockeries of anatomy. No, they looked quite real. But those once-blond locks now appeared to be stitched together from the hair of thousands of different ponies, the interweaving of uncountable colors slowly fading into an unhealthy brown tint, the shade eerily close to that of dried blood.

Rarity had never seen something so disturbing in her life. Though she still let out not a single sound, she could feel the high, shrill note of cold terror pierce into the back of her skull.

The sheer force of suppressing her internal screams was giving the dressmaker a most dreadful headache, but with a tremendous effort, she maintained her aloof façade. She gripped her self-control with an iron hoof. "Quite," the unicorn muttered a reply to a probing inquiry, lips pressed into a thin line in order to ward off her migraine. "As I said, it is an absolute pleasure," she lied. Again.

Bother. She was being barely civil. But the strain of maintaining her composure under such stress was all the effort she could spare. If worst came to worst, she would simply have to suffer the consequences, because there was just no way Rarity was going to lose her pride before this horrible fake of a King! And she could never reveal how much the stallion scared her. She would rather die.

Not really, of course, but it was a nice sentiment.

Tired of smiling, and worn down by the pressure, Rarity was very near to her breaking point when the doors slammed open with a bang. A group of guards stumbled in, hooves slipping on the recently-mopped marble tiles, gripping long straps in their clenched teeth. Thick veins bulged from their necks as they struggled to tow along a particularly uncooperative duo of mares.

Oh! How familiar the pair looked. Without the ability to see colors, it was difficult to identify different ponies, but those voices and attitudes were simply unmistakeable! Could it be her friends? She hoped so. It was ever so tiresome being the only pony with any sense in the room.

"Applejack? Rainbow?" she called.

They were a pegasus and an earth-pony, both female. Yes, that all checked out. And while definitely captured, the unruly prisoners were bucking and lashing out at the slightest hint of a chance. Plenty of bruises littered the skin of their captors. Given the sheer difference in numbers between the groups, the team of burly stallions were having a rather embarrassing amount of difficulty. Embarrassing for the stallions, that is. Rarity was rather impressed. She'd never say that, of course, but she definitely thought it.

After glancing up at the room, the lone earth-pony in the group suddenly stopped digging in her hooves, sending three soldiers tumbling from the lack of tension in the cords. One of those strapping males whimpered softly. Rarity doubted it was the first time he had been sent head-over-hooves.

"Whoah there!" the carefree mare shouted happily, tilting back the brim of her oversized hat. "Well, roll mah face in flour an' call me Celestia! It's Rarity!"

The loud pony's equally-lively companion quickly swiveled around. Either accidentally or intentionally, the movement happened to twist up two of the guards in loops of knotted rope. "Rarity's here? Hey, you're right! Rarity! What's up?" The young pegasus waved a hoof enthusiastically, quite incidentally sending painful, rippling whiplashes into the faces of a few more soldiers.

But was … was it really them? "Oh, thank goodness!" The dressmaker blinked away a few tears of relief, glad the blindfold hid her eyes. "Rainbow! Applejack! Stars above! Are you both alright? I was so worried about the two of you!"

Sticking out her chest, the trussed-up farm-pony looked unreasonably proud for a pony who was completely covered in ropes and chains. "Fine an' dandy, sure 'nuf! Don' worry, sugar-cube, everythin's hunky-dory. More or less, anyway. After that big-ol' split-up yesterday, me'n the goof here each found some friendly folks to take us in fer the night, and Ah went lookin' fer Dash first thing in the morning. So, heck, after a good night's sleep, we're both spry as a couple'a hogs fresh from a mud-bath! Oh, an' some good news t'boot! Ah'm not nuttier'n a fruitcake no more! So there's that. And, uh, neither's Rainbow! We're both totally sane! Promise. Farmer's pride."

Rarity gave her a benevolent smile. "Darling, I'm s—"

Dash butted in, quite rudely. "Hey!" The pegasus happily shouted. "You should tell her about how we got arrested! It was awesome!" Despite her cheerfulness, the wings on Rainbow's back were severely weighted down, on the order of tripling her weight. That must have been rather painful for the poor dear. Pegasus bones were brittle, after all.

"Ahem." The dressmaker coughed politely. "Quite alright. I can see tha—"

"Aw, hold yer haunches, Rainbow! Ah was gettin' to it! Right, then. Ta cut a long story short, it was 'bout an hour ago, just after Rainbow'd finished sayin' her goodbyes to one'a the Wonderbolts. Spitfire. Nice gal. Anyhow, we were ready an' rarin' to search high'n'low fer ya. Then, all of a sudden, bam! … We got arrested." Applejack nodded sagely.

As Dash snickered, she started to reel in a frantic guard. "Haha, yeah, we totally did. Way cool." A merciless noogie was applied to the unlucky stallion. The poor fellow didn't stand a chance.

Slightly annoyed by the interruptions, Rarity once again attempted to say her piece. "That's nice to kn—"

"Yup!" The farmer shrugged as best she could with several hundred links of iron on her back. "That's about it fer our sad, sorry tales. So how 'bout you? Still blind? … Gu-hoh! Sorry! Uh, whoops?" The earth-pony leaned over to her blue companion, nudging her until the speedster reluctantly released the sobbing guard she was torturing. "Dash, Ah think Ah may've put mah hoof in it. Gimme a helpin' hoof here, Ah'm no good at this small-talk stuff."

Right, there was no need for this amount of foolishness. "I'm actual—"

"Oh, so now you care! Well, maybe if you had put some more effort into remembering stuff about your friends, this sort of thing wouldn't happen." sulked Rainbow. "Some friend you are, not remembering what I look like."

Er, if Rarity could just say something? "Perha—"

"Aw, shoot." The apple farmer covered her eyes with a hoof. "This codswallop again? Like Ah've been tellin' ya, Dash, dying a few patches on yerself ain't a small change! Unlike some ponies, mah eyes ain't good enough to spot yer partic'lar hairstyle at eighty paces! Don't be crazy, now. Ah can't tell who y'are through the pattern of yer eyelashes, or whatever it is you pegasi do. Ah gotta rely on th' color of yer mane and coat! It's not mah fault yer head's indecisive."

Wait, what? Had Rainbow decided to dye her mane? Unthinkable! It would alter her styling completely! If only she could see it. What on earth did that loud G-major translate to? Yellow? Oh, drat and botheration! "Did someth—?"

"Feh." Self-consciously flipping back her unusually-monochrome mane, the pegasus let out a derisive snort. "Yeah, whatever, Einstallion. If you're so smart, then how did Rarity know it was us when we entered? She's wearing a blindfold, genius. She wouldn't be able to see my mane."

Already opening her mouth to reply, Applejack paused midway through answering the question. "Well, that's … uh … hrm. Ah don' know, actually. That's pretty crazy! Neat trick, Rarity!"

It wasn't really that difficult. They were distinctive ponies, with distinctive silhouettes. "Ther—"

"Wait, there was a trick? Like, a magic trick?" Dash exclaimed. The adrenaline junkie perked back up again, looking over at the irritated fashionista excitedly. "Haha! Awesome! I didn't know you had it in you, Rarity! Can you do it again? I must have missed it the first time!"

"Not a magic trick, y'featherhead." The earth-pony sighed. "Jus' a normal kinda trick. Ah mean, maybe it's magic, but somehow Ah doubt that. Ah think magic needs glowy stuff. Nothin's glowin'."

Rainbow looked away, bored. "Oh. That's way less interesting," she pronounced.

A small silence fell, and though Rarity was finally given the chance to speak, she proceeded to utterly waste her chance to converse on bitter, bitter mumbling. "My goodness gracious me. Why did I even bother feeling sorry for them?" she muttered harshly to herself. "Really. Those two were probably in no danger at all. Ponies like them are certainly going to be hard-headed enough to survive any normal catastrophe, that's for certain. Honestly. It isn't worth the effort of worrying."

Applejack blinked, and peered over at her. "You say som'thin', Rarity?"

"Rrr!" she growled at the insensitive mare.

"Ahem." Startling them all, the King announced his continued presence with a surprisingly cultured cough. "Well, well, well. Now that you three have been reunited, I think we should move onto the next stage of the discussion I was having with Miss Belle. Namely …" He leaned forward, looking oddly rational for a pony whose magic was represented by a screaming corpse. "What should I do with the three of you? I realize that arresting you for your own protection might seem harsh, but I believed it was necessary at the time. We had accounts of strange behaviour from many parties, and you seemed to be causing minor civic disturbances. Since all three of you are finally present, we should easily be able to determine whether you are stable enough to be released again. Should I call for a mind-healer?"

"Uh, about that. Can we skip all the boring stuff, please? We kinda have things to do." Dash smiled hopefully, wiggling the heavy weights attached to her wings. "Could you just let us go, instead?"

The ruling stallion tilted his head thoughtfully. "Hm. Very well."

"Seriously?" Rainbow asked, stunned. There was a restrained cheer from the bound pegasus. "Awesome! I totally didn't expect that to happen!"

"Absolutely." Blueblood sat back, clasping his front hooves together. His well-styled mane shaded his eyes from view, but as if in trade, the ornate crown atop his skull shone brightly. The pearly-white teeth filling his mouth glittered like diamonds in the midday sun. Really, the pose looked quite sinister, if only because the lack of visible eyes reminded Rarity of the terrible … thing over there in the shadows. "I will graciously offer this boon to the three of you," he proclaimed, to everyone's relief.

Thank goodness. The dressmaker would wipe her brow, if it wasn't unseemly. What luck this was! For once, Blueblood was being quite reasonable. They were free!

"And on only one condition." The King smiled.



She cried. Again.

"Fluttershy!" Twilight yelled at her in a fit of exasperation. "For the love of Celestia! This is seriously getting on my nerves! Just … stop crying already, would you? Aaargh!"

The shouting wasn't really helping her to stop.

Pinkie was more emotionally aware than the other mare, and didn't raise her voice. Instead, the earth-pony darted over to wrap the weeping pegasus in a compassionate hug. "Hey, now. Shh. Can you tell us what's wrong?" her friend gently asked her.

She tried to answer, but what came out was more of a wet, blubbering burble than proper words. After a few more useless attempts to speak, Fluttershy started the long job of wiping away the sticky load of tears and mucus that once again decorated her face. As she wiped, though, more phlegm and salty water came flooding down in a never-ending downpour.

Oh, this was just awful. The pegasus felt so ashamed that she was reacting in such an embarrassing way. Sure, she was an emotional person, but all this wailing was making Fluttershy look like a madmare! Twilight was right. She really had to stop.

But that was easier said than done, wasn't it?

By this point, she had already been crying for pretty much twenty-four hours straight. She cried at the timberwolves, she cried in the cave, she cried at Gilda … it was a small wonder that the yellow mare wasn't severely dehydrated after spending an entire day bawling her eyes out. And still, no matter how much she wanted to keep calm and explain herself, turning off the taps was more difficult than ever. Fluttershy had tried reaching for her powers to help, but it looked like the magic of her necklace wasn't meant for stuff like this. It might have even made it worse.

Still, a small amount of time saw a measurable amount of progress. For a little while, it looked like the whole thing was going to blow over, and she'd be able to talk like a normal, rational person.

That would be nice.
Unusual for today, but nice.

Twilight cleared her throat with a tremulous cough. "S-So. Are you alright now? I-I didn't mean to shout. Really."

The wafting, springy mane of Fluttershy's earth-pony friend was blocking her vision. As she timidly peeked out through the thick strands of cotton-candy hair, she caught the barest glimpse of the worried unicorn. Then that horrible mountain shimmered back into view. The emotional impact of the spire struck her in the heart like a physical affliction. Almost immediately, tears began to stream out of the pegasus' eyes, and she let out a half-strangled sob. Her reaction wasn't something she could control. It was involuntary. Out of her hooves.

She cried. Again.

"Okay! Yeah, that's making me very uncomfortable!" the librarian nervously yelled, spinning around to try and find the source of Fluttershy's misery. "What is it? Is there something tragic on my face, or what?"

And now she was upsetting her friend. Keep it together, darn it! Come on, Fluttershy, the world doesn't revolve around you.

The erstwhile animal-caretaker gulped heavily, swallowing the enormous lump of sadness that was choking her. "S-sorry," she whispered hoarsely. "It's just … there's something wrong! There's something wrong with your mind, Twilight!"

"… what? My … mind?" The unicorn looked shocked at the blunt statement.

"I'm so sorry." Fluttershy bowed her head, tears still gathering in the corners of her eyes. "I'm so, so sorry."

In response to the shocking revelation, Twilight trembled. Then she laughed. "Heh. Hahaha! Pfeheh, no, that's not what I meant. I mean, my dumb old mind is what had you in tears? Heheheh. Ah, jeez. And to think I was worried. Anyway, that's hardly important right now. We should be concentrating on other things, like saving the princess."

No! Fluttershy jerked her head up in disbelieving panic, pink mane flicking out like a living whip. "But … but it is important! You shouldn't even be standing upright with that … terrible amount of psychic scarring!"

Her statement prompted a long, drawn-out sigh from the lavender librarian. "And yet, here we are. I guess I've got a weird brain. But, hey. I already knew that, right?" The violet mare casually blew the hair out of her eyes. "Let's examine this. I don't think I'm currently insane. And if something is basically functional, we shouldn't try too hard to repair it. From my own, personal experience, that usually ends in disaster. So, what can we deduce from our observations? My observations, I mean." A hoof flourished. "Well, unless my poor, deluded mind is constantly sliding ever-deeper into the thick, amorphous depths that swirl beneath a noxious sea of unknowable insanity, happily ignorant of its own ever-impending, psychically-tailored demise … then I have to conclude that I'm going to be just fine! No need to worry!"

"Ghrble." The pegasus ghrbled. She didn't feel so good. Something told her that sort of collapse into madness could genuinely happen to someone. It really was a process she never wanted to witness. But, gosh, why had the unicorn been so unnecessarily descriptive? This wasn't a good time to exercise your vocabulary, was it? "O-okay. If you say so. But I still think something has gon—"

"Dammit, Fluttershy!" Twilight spat out, fixing her with an utterly scathing look. "Drop it! There's nothing wrong with me!"

W-what?

She didn't have time to be hurt by the shocking words, because the brave Pinkie instantly rose to her defense. "Twilight!" the baker scolded. "Fluttershy was just trying to help! Don't you talk to her like that!"

"But I wa—! I … she … oh. Yeah. You're right." The lavender mare sat down, looking confused. "I-I didn't mean to snap at you. That's totally inexcusable. I'm … I'm really sorry about that, girls. I guess I'm still in shock over all this." The unicorn sheepishly scratched behind one ear. "Not to mention, I'm still pretty mad at myself for letting you two get hurt on my behalf. Maybe the stress is getting to me."

"I ..." The pegasus hesitated. Was that all there was to this? That outburst had been very odd.

Twilight gave them both a guilty, watery look. "Sorry, guys. This was all my fault. My stupid plan put both of you in danger, while I just sat back and watched. And taking my frustration out on you two is an abhorrent thing to do. I ... I really do apologize, Fluttershy. Seriously, I was way out of line."

Faced with such a genuine apology, there was only way she could react. "Um, that's okay. Really! Don't worry about it!" She waved her hooves in a meaningless pattern, feeling the sweat building up on her forehead from the focused attention.

"You too, Pinkie. I'm sorry you got hurt because of me." The unicorn gave the other pony a small bow as well.

With a happy bounce at the repaired friendships, the earth-pony easily brushed off the strange behaviour like it was nothing. "Aw, that wasn't your fault! I wasn't paying attention, so I got bopped on the noggin! And besides, that's nothing! You should have seen me when I first tried to build my Welcome Wagon! Boy, did I learn something about fireworks! Hahaha! Although, c'mon, how was I supposed to know flour was explosive? Cakes aren't explosive! But flour is? Now that's mmmysterious!"

"Wow. Just for future reference, Pinkie, the fact that you're still allowed around live flames is appalling." Twilight kept her face carefully blank. "I think, after all this is over, we're going to need to sit down and discuss which common household items you aren't allowed to touch."

--

And, yes. That was another one. She had lost again. The pegasus felt she could understand Rarity a little bit more, now. It did get tiring after a while, losing so consistently. Even getting Pinkie to yield a draw seemed impossible at this point.

Yes, playing thirty-eight games of tic-tac-toe with her earth-pony friend had made Fluttershy quite ready to move on. So she kept her ears pricked up, waiting for a sign that Twilight had finished doing … whatever it was she had disappeared to do. This proved wise, as it was the sound of crunching gravel that first heralded the slow return of the unicorn. A few minutes later, the wincing mare eventually limped out of the cave, looking somehow, oddly, healthier than before.

Although, Fluttershy considered, that might just be because all the bruises were turning purple. She had noticed that her own injuries were standing out more than ever, but Twilight's injuries must have begun to blend in with the rest of that violet coat. Similar shades. That was sort of useful, she supposed. Maybe she should consider it. A color that makes you look better than you were.

It would still hurt quite a bit, though, wouldn't it? Oh. Never mind. She'd rather not be bruised at all.

While all three of the ponies must have been feeling the slow ache of healing flesh, it looked like Fluttershy had really gotten off lucky. The pegasus had managed to escape Gilda with minimal damage, and she hadn't been wounded by the timberwolves, either. Pinkie had taken a few impressive scars on the flank, and a fairly nasty concussion. Still, she appeared to have shaken off the damage in true earth-pony style. No, it was Twilight who had taken the lion's share of injury. Her violet friend had shattered her horn in the throes of magic, losing massive quantities of blood in the process. Running to safety while still bleeding to death, the mare had tripped over roots and stumbled into stones, before collapsing, semi-comatose from blood-loss. It hadn't been good. That was underselling it, to be honest. It had been very, very bad.

Fluttershy … didn't like to boast, but she knew more than most ponies about practical medicine. Enough to help many different animals, with wildly varying physiologies. It was an unofficial job she undertook for the critters around Ponyville. She had experience. So while the pegasus had never been formally trained, she could surmise that a broken horn on a unicorn was basically equivalent to a compound fracture of the skull. A broken bone. A broken bone in the head, and one that was exposed to the outside world. It was a very dangerous wound to have. Not only did such an injury risk terrible infections and permanent bone damage, it would also be supremely painful. She was pretty sure that a lot of nerves were embedded in that little horn. Goodness, for a frail, bookish unicorn, her friend sure had a worrying amount of pain tolerance. Um. Fluttershy should be relieved, but that was concerning, somehow.

Of course, singling out another pony as frail reminded the pegasus quite strongly of pots and kettles. Between just the two of them, it was clear who was tougher. If Fluttershy had only barely woken up from a dead faint due to critical injury and life-threatening anaemia, there would be no way she could immediately grasp the situation, take the lead, and quickly plan the escape of three ponies against ridiculous odds. But Twilight had. Her friend was pretty incredible, sometimes. And, uh, at other times, she could also be a little scary. Not at the moment! Just … sometimes. Yes.

"Hey! Good news, gang!" the robust librarian exclaimed as she drew near. "We are free to go! Rocky is now a very happy Diamond Dog. I consider – and she considers – our debt to be paid in full. We should hurry and head off to the site of the next Element, before something else happens to us in this horrible, creepy forest. East and away!"

"Um, what did you say to make Miss Rocky so happy?" Fluttershy asked, curious as to the motives of the dog who had saved her life.

A smug, half-lidded smile was turned her way. "Heh. Well, I'm not usually one to negotiate and tell, but I may have let slip the general location of an entirely-male pack of Diamond Dogs. Remember the morons that failed to kidnap Rarity? Turns out they were low on stallions around here, or something. A perfect match, you might say. And I do. And I did."

"Stallions? Oh. Um, I … I really don't mean to be rude, but 'Stallion' isn't … technically the right … word." She trailed off uncertainly. Should she be talking about this? No, this was important! Interspecies relations depended on mutual understanding! The pegasus hastened to inform her friend-with-diplomatic-ambitions of the correct way to address sapient canines. "Actually, the … the proper terminology for Diamond Dog genders is quite interesti—"

"Hey!" Pinkie blatantly interrupted. "So we can go flying now, right?" her friend grinned toothily.

Fluttershy blinked, somewhat confused by the sudden change of subject. "Wh... eh? Um, sure, I guess. I can do that. I mean, if you really want to go now, that is."

"Of course I do! Let's go! C'mon, Twilight!" The earth-pony beckoned frantically, desperate to fly again.

Shaking her head, the unicorn chuckled tiredly. "Haha, coming, coming." She began to hobble slowly over to them, avoiding any difficult terrain. "Just hold on for a second. No, I don't need any help. Shoo. Go away, Pinkie. I'm fine."

As always, the pink mare's naked enthusiasm was catching. That was why, after the other ponies had been securely attached, Fluttershy took off at a faster pace than she would normally use. Her efforts were rewarded with a strangled shout, and a howl of enjoyment from her more exuberant passenger.

"Whee!" Pinkie shrieked. "This is way better than a balloon!"

Perhaps that wasn't the most glorious praise, but it warmed Fluttershy's heart anyway. It was always nice to see her friend so happy. The friend she had thought …

Okay, stop it. Everything was fine, you silly filly. They were all fine.

She reached back to adjust Pinkie's hooves, and got a supportive squeeze of the hoof in return. A wry grin crossed her face. Fluttershy should have known. The earth-pony was very empathetic, wasn't she? Her friend must have been able to tell how raw, how delicate she was feeling. That was why the bubbly mare was putting on a big show of happiness. It was to cheer her up. That was really very sweet.

It was all so odd, though. Fluttershy still couldn't process how close the call had been to their narrow escape. None of it made … sense to her. There had been a lot of luck involved in their victory, and for some reason that made her very uneasy. The three of them could have chosen a slightly different path, and ended up ... what? What would happen?

And how should she be reacting? Should she feel upset? Determined? She didn't know.

This level of danger was beyond her experience. Whenever she tried to think about it, she kept running into a mental wall, one that totally blocked out her thoughts, prevented them from reaching their conclusion. She just didn't want to think about it. All the concepts involved made her physically ill. It was an artefact of her own naïveté, a security blanket she couldn't bring herself to shed. She didn't want to understand.

But Twilight would.

The librarian knew a simply staggering amount of information, and had probably read more than most eighty-year-olds. Maybe her friend could help? But how was the pegasus supposed to bring this up? It was a very delicate subject, and she wasn't even sure what she was trying to say. Um.

Oh, fiddlesticks. Just go for it. Take the plunge, ask a stupid question, and hope that your clever friend can help you sort out your muddled head. "Hey, Twilight?" she asked.

A distracted hum wafted over to her ears from its source above and behind her. "Hmm? What's on your mind?"

"That … that was really hard," Fluttershy wavered over her unsure words. "And we nearly didn't make it. What if … what if one of us gets seriously hurt, next time?"

Slumping down in a cloud of depression, Pinkie grumbled to herself. "I'd be super-duper sad, that's what," she mumbled.

"Hey, cheer up, girls! None of that doom or gloom," the unicorn chided them for their pessimism. "We're a bit bruised and battered, sure, but we're already a fifth of the way there, right? Twenty percent done. At this rate, the princess will be back in no time! And if we can get her back, everything will be fine. We can't afford to slow down."

Her other passenger straightened up. "That's a good point! The princess can fix anything! Right, Fluttershy?" The baker beamed at her when she turned her head to look.

Against two smiles combined, she hesitated, before quietly telling them what they wanted to hear. "… um, sure."

Fluttershy didn't mean it, though. At the moment, she wasn't feeling all too happy about Celestia. The pegasus had a pretty good reason for her doubt, too. Or, at least, she thought she did. Maybe she was wrong.

But … from all accounts, Twilight had led a sheltered life up until now. That meant there weren't many people who had been close to the unicorn for a long time. Her immediate family, her foal sitter, a few guards, and princess Celestia. That was it. Out of that tiny group, only one being had enough power and opportunity to permanently alter minds over the scale of decades. Just one. So if Fluttershy was looking for a culprit, surely there was no oth—

No. That was just silly.

The … the princess would never do something like that. Never. The motivation simply wasn't there. It wasn't possible. Or, at least, Fluttershy hoped not. She'd had enough surprises recently to last her a lifetime.

Even as she tried to repress the nasty thought, there was this niggling feeling in the back of her head that she'd forgotten something. Hadn't Gilda mentioned some things about … what was it? Equestria's foreign policy? Crazed and bitter, she had ranted about how poorly the ponies had behaved to all other races. While the gryphon had definitely been mad, that unnatural, burning hate for ponies did not spring from nothing. It looked like the Gryphon Kingdom had been wronged by someone in a position of great power in Equestria. The Zebras, too. There was definitely something fishy going on in the upper levels of the Equestrian government, but Fluttershy wasn't sure what it was. She wasn't sure she wanted to know, either.

Oh dear. Even if they succeeded in getting the princess back, there were going to be a lot of questions that needed answering. After all, the people should have a right to know why their leaders were acting strange. And there was definitely something strange, something wrong in the air. If … if there was a problem with the princess, Fluttershy would do her best to fix it! She had the power to do that now.

The problem, of course, would be remaining safe if everything went … badly. How were you even supposed to call an immortal deity to task? That sounded like a job for someone strong, like Twilight.

Except … Twilight wasn't looking so strong these days. The librarian's reactions were becoming incredibly suspicious. The way Fluttershy's thoughts were going, there was no shaking the thought that her friend might have been cruelly brainwashed. What horrors lay beneath that cruel, twisted spire? She didn't know. She couldn't know. As it was, there was no way to actually see Twilight's psyche beyond the bulging walls of her friend's mental distortion. And the pegasus couldn't cure what she couldn't see. Fumbling in the dark could only cause great damage.

Even if mind-control wasn't an issue, the princess' protégée had always been fiercely loyal to Celestia. No matter what happened, Twilight would end up opposing Fluttershy on this. Facing down her friend … it was going to hurt.

"Come on, Fluttershy! Let's go even faster!"

At least she had some time to think about it.



"What th' hay?" Apple Bloom blinked, and a distant corner of her brain noted that her eyelids were out of sync. Huh.

More importantly, wow. She really hadn't expected to be alive right now. Obviously, she was. That was … good? Good. Uh, yep, nothing better than a healthy amount of … existing.

Er. To be honest, the young mare wasn't as happy as she should have been. Actually, she was more confused than anything else. Being saved at the last minute was just incredibly unlikely. The chances against them surviving had been absolutely, astoundingly astronomical. Ridiculous. Preposterous! Grah! Where was her abacus? This needed documenting! Strict scientific notes had to be kept for future reference. And she definitely wasn't overreacting. No, sir.

Look. The thing was, statistically speaking, this kind of event was nearly impossible. Their survival was nice, sure. No denying that. But it made her feel awfully suspicious. When the laws of probability moved out of whack like that, it tended to imply some sort of unseen motive. A dark intelligence playing outside the rules.

Had there been an attempt on their lives? What would be the unseen benefits from disposing of three fillies? Or, for that matter, saving them? There would be no monetary gain, no great fame in either case. It didn't make sense to her. Not yet.

"Woah!" gasped a dumbstruck Scootaloo.

"Huh?" Sweetie Belle blinked, eyes wide.

Ah.
Apple Bloom surreptitiously checked her surroundings.

Right, then. Looks like everyone else was still stuck on the gasping part of them surviving. Maybe she had gotten a little ahead of herself. Er, should she gasp as well? No? No. That ship had probably sailed by now. Okay.

The observation unsettled her, but it was apparent that the deep, existential concerns plaguing the small earth-pony had gone completely unnoticed by her friends. Usually the three of them were on the exact same wavelength, but her friends seemed just a bit too ordinary today.

No, no, no! Treat this logically, darn it! Her friends seemed ordinary, but that was because they hadn't changed. Apple Bloom was the odd one out. Her mind kept skipping around like a broken record, but she could tell that much, at least.

Something was wrong with her, wasn't it?

Yeah, maybe so. Granted. But it didn't appear to be … detrimental. If anything, she was thinking much faster, with flashes of amazing creativity! Hopefully, there wouldn't be any repercussions for receiving this wonderful gift. She just didn't know what the side effects would be. Gosh, it sorta made Apple Bloom wonder why she spent so much time researching particle physics, when she could have been studying biology instead. Poor planning. Now neurological science was a closed book to her, just when she needed it the most.

Well, after indulging her mysterious inventiveness for a whole night, slowing down her racing thoughts might be a prudent decision. For the moment, at least. She just had make an effort to try and keep in touch with reality, and reassure her friends that she was totally fine.

Yes, that sounded good. She'd act as normally as possible, talk as normally as possible, then take a quick trip to the hospital when she got the chance. To be on the safe side.

"Bwuh?" Slowly and carefully, Sweetie began patting down her unharmed body, as if her inspection would magically reveal a crippling injury. When all her limbs were found to be in working condition, the unicorn twirled around in joy. "H-Hey! Look! We're not dead! Yay!" The filly threw her hooves up in the air.

A piercing insight there, Ms. Belle. And it only took you a good twenty seconds. Brilliant.

"Heh. Awesome, right? Haha!" Scootaloo laughed weakly, before suddenly collapsing onto her hind legs. "Oh, man! That was really close! Thanks, princess Celestia!"

Ergh. Apple Bloom softly kneaded her brow. Yep, there was the crux of the issue. The question of the moment, so to speak.

Why on earth had 'Her Glorious Majesty', the eternal Goddess of Light, taken the time out of her no-doubt busy schedule to rescue a few random fillies? She must have ponies to do the heroics for her. Guards, specifically trained for dangerous situations. That meant that this wasn't supposed to happen! Life wasn't a dang fairytale.


There was a heavy, grinding noise as Celestia shrugged her shoulders, her powerful muscles swiveling her large, pearly wings. Catapulted backwards, the huge pile of machinery on the noble alicorn's back tumbled to an open patch of ground with a thundering crash.

Good riddance. What a dumb piece of junk that isolator had been. She should never have created it. Nothing but an over-sized, ponderous waste of valuable materials. Not to mention, there went a toaster she was never getting back. Yeah.

The filly's eyebrow twitched spasmodically.

Ah, geez. It hadn't worked. There was no point trying to distract herself from this storybook situation. Time to face the facts. The Cutie Mark Crusaders had literally been saved by a princess in shining armor. Gah! It was just too crazy! Why, Apple Bloom bet that if she tried to tell Applejack about this, she'd get rapped over the hooves for lying. Her sister was big on all that honesty hoo-haa, and this sounded completely fake, even to her.

"Um, hi! Thanks for saving us!" Sweetie smiled up at the tall mare.

"That was … no problem, young ones." The golden-shod monarch seemed to stumble over her words, a strange, awkward look flitting across her face. "Actually, would … you three mind telling Us where We are? Though We have never experienced an illness before, We seem to be suffering from … a senior moment, to Our eternal chagrin."

Apple Bloom took the lead, shaking away the thoughts that clung to her like flies. It was only right that she be the one to formally welcome a guest to her home, even if it was the princess. "Sure!" Unlike the alicorn, she fought to keep her voice pleasantly normal. No quirkiness allowed. "Yer right outside Ponyville, in the rollin' fields a'Sweet Apple Acres! Equestria's numb'r one source a'Zap apple jam, fine apple cider, an' all yer fresh fruit needs!"

Huh. Well, that wasn't exactly quirky, but it had been a while since she had accidentally advertised like that. The whole line kinda just fell out of her mouth without her even meaning to say it.

Back when she had been a young filly, Granny Smith had drilled a fair few phrases into her. All part of the Apple family tradition, apparently.

Huh? Okay, fine, young-er filly. Gosh.

Still, it had taken days for Apple Bloom to learn all the right things to say. Maybe Applejack could learn the proper lingo almost instantly, but not her. Heck no. And Big Mac? Granny never even tried to make him memorize their slogan. When would he use it? Her brother was strong, sure, but he wasn't really one for gabbing. About as talkative as the trees he bucked. Maybe that was why. Could it be that he just didn't want to learn all that junk? It was possible. Granny would have made him do it, otherwise.

Oh, great. Stop thinking, dagnabbit! That must have been at least four seconds. Focus on everypony else. Focus.

"We thank you," Celestia mumbled. The matriarch chewed the loose ends of her drifting hair in an uncharacteristic show of discomposure. "The information is … appreciated. Ponyville, you say?" The mare furrowed her brow.

Finally picking up on the thick waves of uncertainty in the air, Scootaloo stepped a few paces closer. The tiny pegasus nudged the alicorn in the leg, looking up at her with a plaintive stare. "Hey, what's wrong, princess?" she asked. "You okay? You're speaking kinda funny."

The monarch hurriedly wiped away her confused, anxious look. "Oh … no. We do not wish to … trouble you, children. We just feel that We may have … forgotten something … very important."

"Oohooh!" Sweetie Belle's voice cracked with excitement. Yeah. To be honest, the unicorn's hungry look was making Apple Bloom a bit uncomfortable. "You forgot something? Is it something to do with Twilight? Or, no, is it your sister? Because you're speaking just like princess Luna did, before she made friends with Rarity's friends!"

The rapid-fire questions only seemed to perplex Celestia. "How … confusing. You refer to … a sister? Pardon Our asking, but … of whom do you speak? As far as We know … We are the only one of Our kind in existence. Have you … have you seen another being like Us?"

"Ah!" Scootaloo yelped. "No way!"

Yeah, what Scoots said! Holy mackerel – this was big! On a whim, the young farmer jumped back on her hooves, in order to point one accusingly at the alicorn. "Hold it! Y'don' mean t'say that y've forgotten Luna, do ya? An' yer bes' student? That's a right clear sign of ambrosia!"

"You mean amnesia?" Sweetie corrected.

"That too!"

Celestia stepped back under their collective gazes. "Amnesia? The very idea of such a … a … no. We … We do feel rather strange. Perhaps … perhaps your diagnosis holds merit. We may indeed be suffering from memory loss. Though unlikely, that might explain Our confusion, and that odd sensation of … weakness that continues to bother Us so."

The orange pegasus next to Apple Bloom began to tremble. "Oh no! This is really bad, guys! What're we going to do?" her friend whispered anxiously. "We have to help her!"

"Worry not, stalwart fillies." The tri-color mane of their savior blew gently in an unseen wind, a radiant smile gracing her regal features. "We are … stronger than the average pony. Given enough time, We can heal from any wound, including those of the mind. Our … memories are bound to return soon enough. But … tell Us. How long has it been? What is the date? The … year?"

A relieved Sweetie Belle sighed, before easily rattling off the date like the bookworm she was. "Today is Sunday, June the seventh, and the year is 1221 A.D."

"A.D.?" The alicorn frowned.

Okay, that was not a good sign.
At all.

Scootaloo flared out her wings in emphasis. "Yeah! Cheerilee says that stands for After Discord! You and Luna defeated him a really long time ago!" Jumping up into the air, the young speed-demon attempted a few sloppy kicks. "Pow! Bam! Just like that!"

There was a heavy pause as Celestia shakily processed the information. "We … do not understand. Not in the slightest. Even the calendar you use is … unfamiliar to Us. Discord has fallen? That would explain the peace in this … world, but it implies We are missing well over a millennium of memory. How … distressing. We must have been injured quite severely for such a … severance to occur."

"Uh, sure, then!" Apple Bloom coughed politely into a hoof. "Not so clear'n why that'd make y'say 'we' instead'a 'me', but hey; yer the princess! Kinda sounds like y've got a serious case'a schiz-afren-ya, though. Might wanna get that looked at, if y'get th' time."

"Feh." Her pegasus friend scoffed, likely at the attempt to use a word longer than 'Rainbow Dash'. "What are you, an encyclopaedia?"

Great. That obnoxious grammatical construction was practically turning into a catchphrase of sorts.

In abject confusion, Sweetie scrunched up her eyes. "What's schiz-afren-ya?" she asked, a puzzled expression decorating her face.

Bah, everypony should know that. It was a ridiculously easy question. Simply put, it's …
You know, the thing where …
When you have …

Hm.

"Ah have no idea!" Apple Bloom concluded. "Must have made it up, Ah guess. Never mind! Anyhow, princess Celestia? Why don't ya stay with us until yer mem'ry comes back? We'd be delighted t'have yer highness as a guest a'the Apple Family!"

A rich, honey-like chuckle echoed off the walls. The alicorn bowed her head towards the trio. "Thank you, young one. Such kindness is much appreciated. With Our significant loss of memory, We might be forced to take you up on your offer, if you are certain it won't be a trouble for you."

No way! She beamed back, shaking her head with as much enthusiasm as she dared. "Naw, it'll be fun! Like a sleepover, kinda! And Ah promise ya, whatever happens, everythin's gonna Turn out okay!"

Guh! The heck was that?

Sweetie shrieked in pain. "O-Ow! No need to shout, Apple Bloom!" Wincing, the unicorn clapped her hooves over her ears, eyes watering.

Eh? What?

"Yeah!" While Scootaloo didn't yell out in agony, the pegasus still shot her a disgruntled glare. "C'mon, we're right here, doofus!"

"Uh, whoops?" Apple Bloom squeaked. What the heck just happened? Was that the taste of berries on her tongue? And why did her throat hurt all of a sudden? "Ah don't … um, sorry, girls. Didn't mean t'talk that loudly. Or in … blue? Boy, that sure was weird, huh? Hahaheeh, heh … hah." Her forced laughter rapidly trailed off, thanks in part to the unamused looks she was receiving. Nuts. How embarrassing.

Celestia slowly held up a hoof, her eyes glazed over in thought. "That … was not mere volume. There was … a fundamental change in the way you spoke."

Dangit, dangit, dangit! The yellow filly gulped nervously, looking around her for something, anything she could use to change the subject. "Uh, Ah'm not … entir'ly sure watch'r talkin' about, but the shoutin' was definitely mah fault. An' the blue. Ah'll jus' try'n keep mah fonts from gettin' too fancy from now on, yeah?"

"What the heck are you saying?" Sweetie yelled in frustration. "Stop being weird!"

In a last-ditch attempt, the frightened earth-pony shook her head furiously to try and sort it out, flicking her red hair left and right. "Right, uh, yeah. Yer absolut'ly correct. Never mind. Y'all can ignore that, Ah was just … ramblin', Ah guess."

"Hmm." The princess fixed her with a disturbingly penetrating gaze. Apple Bloom began to sweat.

Suddenly, all those old Equestrian military victories they had learned about in school made a whole lot more sense. Fluttershy's gaze had nothing on Celestia's.

"Very well." The monarch relaxed slightly, releasing the small farmer from her stern, but invisible, clutches. "Putting those … unusual statements aside, We must make a statement on your abode. This level of technology … is most impressive. Before We arrived here, We … flew for many long leagues across the countryside. Nowhere did We see a collection of … devices as advanced as this. Tell Us, how did you … obtain all of these artefacts?"

Was she in the clear, then? Phew. That had been a close one.

With excellent comedic timing, a squarish, metal box on wheels trundled out into the open, clunkily moving under its own power. Aw, hey, it was Isaac! She remembered that little rascal. Boy, he must have been a good eight hours old, now. Kids just grow up so fast. But what was he doing out here?

She ushered the mechanical assistant back into the mess of machinery that filled the barn. Back to work with you, young robot! And don't come out until you've dismantled experiments AB-235 through AB-267!
Cheeky thing.

"You mean this isn't just normal farm stuff?" Scootaloo asked, tilting her head. "Then what is it?"

So, they wanted to know about her work, did they? Now there was a story!
A nice, distracting story.

Puffing out her chest, Apple Bloom stifled an airy tone, pretending not to boast. "Oh, those? Well, Ah made 'em. Jus' las' night, in fact! It weren't all that tricky. The hardes' part was gettin' the materials t'make mah tools, but Ah found a buncha old hammers an' sheet-metal in the back a'the barn. That was enough t'get me started, an' then Ah took apart some rusty ploughs for the rest! Didn't even need any help!"

Haha! Her friends seemed mighty impressed. Awesome.

"I-Impossible." Celestia gasped, mouth agape. "Truly, all this done in a night … without aid?" Her gaze lingered on a particularly striking metal ball, one that extruded shimmering wires and pipes.

Still, Apple Bloom felt the urge to point out that the coffee machine, though arguably the most important device for her work, happened to be the least advanced machine in the room. Even her abacus could project three-dimensional, holographic diagrams. And although he just looked like a cube, Isaac was much more complex inside, what with his prototype-IV thaumonuclear reactor.

But saying all that junk would be really unnecessary, and kinda rude. So she nodded and grinned, instead. "Yup!"

The alicorn donned a serious scowl. "Then … then you are an astounding prodigy of the natural sciences. Even were We not amnesic, We are certain that Our … current self would wish to place you under observation. If … you desire Our aid in anything, We offer Our tutelage, such as it is. You have much potential, My little pony. It is essential that your talents be nurtured." The monarch delivered her proclamation with all the certainty of an absolute ruler.

Great galloping honeycrisps! "W-Well, thanks a bunch!" she stammered. "A-Ah mean, Ah'm real honored, yer majesty! Ah … Ah don't know what t'say, t'be honest."

"You do not have to accept," the mare reminded her. "But We can think of none more deserving to be Our student."

"S-Sure!" Excited beyond all rationality, the young farmer beamed so hard at her giggling friends that her cheeks began to ache. Shucks! If that wasn't some sky-high praise, she'd eat her ribbon! And all that coming from Her Majesty herself? Incredible, that was. She'd never felt so proud. Why, if only her Ma and Pa could see her now, the student of a god. Apple Bloom was going places!

Celestia gave her a warm, comforting smile, one that reached out and warmed the filly from the inside. "Yes." The princess chuckled lightly. "Much potential, indeed."



Creasing her countenance with the deep lines of a very displeased monarch, Luna squinted down into her victim's face, an unflinching gaze upon her regal features. Her eyes began to ever-so-slowly narrow, gradually thinning until they were nothing but piercing slits. The two shimmering pools of teal-tinted darkness held so much unpleasant intent it was practically a physical substance.

"Where … is … he?" she growled, her throat throbbing roughly as she uttered the words.

"W-w-w-w-wh-wh-who?" babbled the stuttering, sweating fool she had accosted. The suspect's hooves scrabbled at the ground, desperately trying to escape her unbreakable grasp.

There was no denying it. Luna had a gut feeling about this one. This particular stallion was acting most churlish towards his rightful ruler. Not only was that incredibly disrespectful, his avoidance was also gravely suspicious. He had to be hiding something. But, as with any suspect, it would be no easy task to get him to talk.

Thankfully, Luna was no stranger to the lesser-known aspects of ruling a country. When it came to information-extraction, she was no ordinary mare. She had talent in the area, more so than her sister, even. Luna was good at being feared.

Raising her voice to a rolling boom, the dark alicorn managed to elevate her features to a far greater level of irate intimidation than the low level she had been using before. A quick, illusionary bolt of lightning lit up half her face in silhouette. "Answer the question!" she bellowed, coiling her magic around her in dark swirls of thunderous night.

Her prisoner shrieked like a school-filly. "Ghaaaaaaaaahah!"

The attempt was in vain, of course. It had been many centuries since anything as feeble as a mere battle-cry had shocked the princess of the night. Still, it gave her pause. No other captive had ever been trained in that most ancient of arts. Her heart was well-hardened, and Luna felt no fear, but the implications were certainly unnerving. The Sea Serpents rarely gave up their secret techniques so freely. Was this an international conspiracy, then? Did the Sea Serpents conspire to war? The outlook looked grim. She needed more information, and fast.

"Who are you working for? Answer!" Luna shook the recalcitrant stallion by the shoulders, producing a warbling doppler-effect of screams. "Vile cur! To betray your monarch is treason!"

"Aaaaahaahah!" The wailing was becoming desperately high-pitched, but her grip did not falter. It would never falter!

She growled menacingly at the traitor, the throaty sound shrinking his pupils down to pinpricks. The stallion's tearful gaze fixed on her left hoof as it slowly raised, wheezing softly. "Enough!" she boomed. "Cease your caterwauling! I tire of this farce!"

A small, oblivious, blue mare trotted onto the scene, looking backwards over her shoulder. "Hey, so it looks like Daisy doesn't know anyth— Ghah! The heck! Princess Luna!" The young pony stumbled as she covered her mouth, obviously distraught. "What the hay are you doing?"

"I am interrogating this suspect," the alicorn explained. Exhausting, difficult work, but it had to be done. Unavoidable.

"C-Colgate? H-Help! Help me!" Reaching out a trembling limb, the pale stallion attempted to escape once again. Luna effortlessly dragged him back by the tail, shaking her head at his terrified whimpering. He obviously hadn't learnt his lesson.

And, thanks to that untimely interruption, she had to begin the whole process again. Hmm. Now she remembered. Interrogations were supposed to be done in a closed chamber, for exactly this reason. How enormously tiresome. The monarch mustered up her energy, and brandished a chiding, but increasingly tired limb. "Silence, peon. Escape is f … utile." She yawned heavily. "Er, futile. Yes."

It was regrettable, but there was an embarrassing lack of vibrancy in all Luna's admonishments. Completely understandable, she hastened to assure herself. After all, it had been quite a while since she had last done this sort of thing, and there were stamina issues compounding the lack of practice. Still, it irked her. The alicorn expected better from one such as she.

"No! Princess, let him go!" her young charge pleaded. "You're really scaring him!"

Was Luna missing something? That was the entire point behind this manner of inquiry. The inspiration of fear was the goal towards which she had been working. Poorly, yes, but better than most. Her point remained intact. "… I beg your pardon?" She quirked a thin eyebrow at the young mare.

The unicorn gaped, unable to pull her thoughts into comprehensible words. "Wh… Y… How do you not …? Just … He's obviously terrified! Let him go, please!"

Terrified? Hardly. There were many more steps to go through before …
Hm.

Luna glanced down at the shivering, sweating mess beneath her hooves.

Oh dear.
Perhaps she had been a little hasty.

What … was she doing? Unacceptable. Fatigue was no excuse for a lack of logic. She needed to ignore any irrational arguments, use her mind properly, and solve the problem at hoof. What if she presumed innocence? Then … then her captive's cowardly actions made much more sense. It was as the young mare said. Luna's intuition was clearly in error, and she had to make amends. "Ah. Er. Very well. It seems the Crown owes you an apology, citizen. You are free to leave."

She stepped backwards, and allowed the stallion to stumble to his feet. He followed this by swiftly bolting through the door of a nearby house. The thick wooden slab slammed shut, and was swiftly followed by the sound of multiple latching locks.

Curses.

Popping up from out of nowhere, Discord waggled his eyebrows in enormous merriment, obviously deriving great amusement at her expense. A paw covered his mouth, but barely aided at all in stifling his irritating giggles. "Snrk! S-Smooth moves there, Loony! You sure got a lot of information out of him! Pfaha! Bwahahahaha!"

"Grrgh." She ground her teeth together and turned away, unable to find a reasonable excuse for her actions. The draconequus was unaccountably rude, but at least he had not been the one to accost and traumatize a pedestrian. No, that ignoble job had been eagerly snatched up by her, in a dreadful display of ineptitude. What wondrous talent she had at destroying her own image.

"Hey, stop laughing!" Jumping to Luna's defense, the small, blue pony by her side fumed in indignation.

'Colgate Hooves', was it not? A fine young mare, with a clear sense for justice.

Discord cackled even harder in response. "Oh, it's too rich!"

"The … the princess is just a little out of practice, that's all! A thousand years of isolation would do that to anypony, right? I'm sure with a little time to readjust to modern society, she'll be buttering up ponies in no time!" The mare choked, and suddenly clammed up. A hot crimson began to creep over her face. "W-wait, that sounded weird. Forget that last bit."

"Eh? Who, Lady Twinkle-mane, here?" Discord rolled his eyes, and jerked out a gnarled thumb at the nocturnal alicorn. "You think that sort of problem can be fixed in a flash, do you? My, my. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but the poor, deluded girl can barely stop herself from screaming her lungs out. That's not social ineptitude, my dear, that's just ineptitude in general. What a fascinating monarchy you have! Somepony who can't control their own behaviour, in command of an entire country! Really, that's hardly going to win any prizes for good leadership strategy. At least her sister knew how to keep her voice down. Basic skills, but they're the hardest ones to learn. Mmm, yes."

It was very hard for Luna to remain silent, but she sucked in a breath though the thin gap between her teeth, forcing herself to stay calm. The draconequus wanted to rile her up, wanted her to prove his point by ranting like a fool. Getting angry would just be giving him what he wanted.

And, as much as it galled her to admit it, his pointed insults held an uncomfortable amount of truth behind them.

While the princess kept a tenuous grip on her temper, steam was virtually billowing from Colgate's ears at the blatant disrespect Discord was flaunting. "Ooh, I'd like to see you do better, you crusty old jerk! You were locked away for ages too, and it hasn't helped your nature one bit! So yeah, I'm seeing a real pattern! If you haven't got anything nice to say, then shut it!"

The mad god rolled his mismatched eyes, sighing in exasperation in the young mortal's face. "No need for name-calling, Toothpaste. So much rhetoric gets used these days. What, you think I won't accept your silly little challenge, do you? Hah! Think again!" With a blink, he raised a claw to his chin, stroking his scraggly beard. "Of course, ponies tend to run screaming from me. For good reason, yes, but it does make this game slightly inconvenient. Well, then! Do you mind if I change into something a bit less comfortable? I have a prior history around here, so it's only fair."

"I … Wait, what challenge?" Miss Hooves looked utterly bewildered, swept up in the charismatic flow of the draconequus.

"Wonderful." Discord coughed smoothly into one fist, before thrusting it up to the sky. His magic sizzled and sparked around him. "Go, shining power of mine! Take the form of … Oh, I don't know, something utterly dull!"

Luna looked at him skeptically for a few uneventful seconds, but was caught entirely off guard when shimmers of brown and gray light swam up from nothing, wrapping around to encase his form. Fascinating! She had not expected the creature to have enough power for a full transformation. Perhaps the spell fell within the domains of Chaos? Surely not. Or— Oh, of course. By leaving the end result up to chance, he had forced it into his domain. A cunning trick to reduce the energy requirements. Clever, she had to begrudgingly admit. It was a pity that Luna's conceptual demesne was so much more restrictive, or she would have applied the idea to her own spells.

One wet squelch, and the throb of ancient magic finished warping the dazzling light, compressing it down into a much smaller form. The draconequus had been shifted into a very familiar shape. Was it intentional? It couldn't be.

Two evenly-arranged eyes opened up, blinking at the light. A brown-grey hoof was lifted up and carefully examined. "A pony," muttered the altered god. Slowly, like the flowing of a glacier, Discord's eyes creased in boundless mirth. "Ohohoho! Good job! Oh, a good job indeed! I can't argue with that. Boring in a nutshell! Hee hee hee! You and me, Chaos magic. We know what's going on. Mmm. But … the horn's a bit of a giveaway, isn't it?" He flicked the end of the strangely loose, twisted spiral on his head, compacting it into what appeared to be a natural unicorn horn with a grunt of effort. "There. Now everything's perfectly tedious."

Having seen much stranger things before, Luna turned her attention to the youngest member of their group, aware that not all ponies could handle the full force of Discord's oddities. The young Miss Hooves appeared to be very disturbed, but not terrified. Not yet, at least. It was probably the best she could hope for while the patron of madness was still around.

Never mind. That situation would keep for now.

With a cheerful hum of a tuneless melody, a few quick steps brought the heavily-transformed draconequus closer to one of the pegasi wandering nearby. From the monochrome coat, blonde mane, and strange eye-condition, the citizen was the same one they had seen flying around earlier that day. The … clumsy postal-worker that Colgate Hooves had mentioned. Droopy? Dumpy, perhaps?

"Hello, my dear, so sorry to bother you!" Discord called out, an odd inflection in his voice. "I had a quick question, if you don't mind my asking!"

"Huh? Uh, sure! How can I help you?" the friendly pony replied. One of her eyes appeared to wander away, but Luna knew not to judge the mare based on her outer appearance. For all she knew, this could be the smartest, most attentive citizen in town, superseding Twilight Sparkle in intelligence. It was possible, at least.

Faintly.

The insane god gave the mare an embarrassed smile, brushing his mane to the side in a motion that Luna found disconcertingly normal. "You see, I happen to be looking for one particular pony, but I'm new to the area, and can't find him at all. But you, madam. You are a mail-mare, correct? Your job must take you all around town. Have you seen a brown stallion anywhere? Hourglass cutie-mark, goes by the name of Dusty Hooves."

"Oh, don't be silly. Of course I know Dusty!" The pegasus seemed to titter vacantly for a bit, before raising a hoof to her mouth in bemusement. "But wow, what a coincidence. I just saw him! Lots of hims, in fact!" she revealed in a whisper.

Still smiling that strange, authentic smile, Discord let out a genuinely amused laugh, without so much as a hint of his usual sadistic chortle. "My, that sounds very strange!" A twinkle of friendly interest sparkled lightly in his calm, trustworthy gaze. "Whatever do you mean?"

It was at about this point that Colgate's mouth dropped open.

Her friend, the gray mare, unconsciously leaned closer to the false stallion, a hint of flame dusting her cheeks. "Well, he must have fallen into that magic cloning pool or something, because I've seen at least four of him just today! The last time I saw him was just next to the town square, before he disappeared again. I … That's all I know, I'm afraid."

Discord gave her a courteous bow, never breaking eye-contact. "How peculiar! I suppose I shall look for him there. You've been a wonderful help, my dear. Have a delightful day. Perhaps … I shall see you around." He calmly turned, and retreated.

"Y-Yeah! You too, mister!" Sighing slightly, the mare seemed to break out of a mild stupor, as if waking up from a long sleep. Her gaze landed on both Luna and her blue companion, eyes widening. "O-Oh, Colgate, is that you? Why were you and princess Luna and … this gentlestallion looking for—"

"Eurgh." Their young charge groaned, sliding a hoof down her face. "That was so weird. Fine, come on then, Derpy. I'll explain what I know. Let's talk in private."

As the two ponies rounded the corner to a nearby alleyway, Discord visibly relaxed, allowing his form to fluidly spring back into its former, gawkish construction. "Nnngh! That's better. Always so restrictive, doing that. Hurts my antler." He blinked owlishly at Luna's heavy stare. "What? Astounded by my magnificence?"

She shook her head, recomposing herself. "Hardly. I have simply never seen you use manners before. It was a novel experience."

"Oh, I see how it is." Discord flung a paw over his brow, mockingly swooning. "Just because I'm normally a little abrasive, you think I can't turn on the charm? I'm nasty for a reason, numbskull. I used to be Discord, you know. The more irritated I made people, the more powerful I became! It was a win-win situation. For me. Winning twice. It was amazing."

No wonder. It all came back to power, in the end, did it not?

"A most selfish reason for belligerence, but it does explain much of your actions," she muttered. "I assume that any disunity you sow amongst others also increases your abilities? That would mean that any attempt to fight you provides you with even more strength."

"Of course," the draconequus nodded sagely. "Well, strictly speaking, that used to be true, but not any more. Now, I am merely Disorder. And Disorder doesn't gain anything from making you annoyed."

Luna stopped short, spluttering incoherently. "What? Then why in blazes do you keep doing it?"

"Hm? I … Hmm." He seemed surprised at the question. "I suppose it's due to force of habit, mainly. Not to mention how hilarious it is to watch dimwits like you fume at me. Hohohohohohoho!"

Looking up at the sky, Luna closed her eyes and weighed up her options. Perhaps she should let bygones be bygones? After all, Discord had certainly been a superior information gatherer. And was it not Celestia who had said that every being deserves a second chance? She should be able to weather a few barbed words, surely?

No. She couldn't. This ended here.

A deep rumbling bubbled up from deep within her, shuddering her body with thunderous force. "Die!" she roared, launching herself at the despicable monster, the fire of pure death glowing in her eyes. "Return to the abyss!"

"Ahahahaha! See? That's not scary! It's adorable." Discord sniggered, bounding away from her lunging strikes with ease.

Ragged breaths whistled through Luna's teeth as she worked herself up into a maniacal rage. "Abomination!" she furiously screeched. "I have endured your audacity! Your endless temerity! But my pride can suffer no more slights to its name! I will destroy you, and salvage what little honor I have left!"

"You can try!" the draconequus sang from atop a nearby cart.

She hissed, forced her wings back, and blasted forwards. The wooden cart exploded into a cloud of shrapnel and splinters, but her opponent artfully dodged all damage. Seething, Luna shook the broken shards of somepony else's property from her mane. "Stop running, coward! Face your evisceration like a stallion!"

Discord easily twirled out of the way, mocking each of her attempts to land an attack. "So sorry, not a stallion any more, dear! That was three minutes ago! Missed your chance! Whoops, missed me, too! Hoohoohoo! Better luck next time!"

"Raaargh! Gr-aeaargh!" she howled, infuriated beyond all rational thought or understandable speech.

"Woah." Peering around the corner at the sound of massive destruction, a wall-eyed mare grinned tentatively, cheering at the sight of two once-mighty gods wrestling like oversized children. "Go Luna! You show Discord who's boss!"

Following swiftly after, Colgate sagged in disappointment, hanging her head. "Aw, hay. So much for keeping these two under control." The blue unicorn raised her voice. "Hey, um … guys? Derpy's gonna show me the place she saw Dad. We'll just meet you at the town square, okay? Okay. Yeah, uh, see you later, then. Bye!"

In a definite breach of courtesy, Luna did not bid the young mare farewell. But to give her credit, were the alicorn not attempting to gnaw Discord's tail off, she would probably have been far more polite.



"Okay, yeah. Called it. I totally knew there was gonna be a catch." Rainbow settled back on her haunches, hissing out a breath as she eased the pressure off her hind legs.

Geez, ow. All that heavy stuff the soldiers had attached to her was really uncomfortable. Seriously. Even though it kinda made sense for them to do it. As far as she knew, wing-weighting was the best way to get a pegasus to stay in one place.

Actually, the amount of weight was sort of a … a compliment, in a way. After all, the guards were pegasi, too. They knew exactly what junk on the pinions would do to a pony's ability to fly. But they'd still gone nuts with the big chunks of metal, to the point where she couldn't even lift up her wings. Why? Did they know how good she was at flying?

Hey, cool! Dash must have started making a name for herself! Awesome.

"Pardon?" The big guy with the crown sneered condescendingly, sticking his nose in the air like he was trying to see through the back of his own head. "Certainly not. A gentlepony always keeps his word. All Miss Belle must do is apologize for slighting me at the Gala, and you three will be free to go."

Just say sorry? Huh. Well, that didn't sound so bad.

" … Excuse me? Did you just ask me to apologize? For slighting you?" Rarity's clipped voice vibrated with a hefty helping of wiry tension. A vein throbbed on her brow.

Applejack paled at the sight. "Uh …"

The unicorn exploded. "How dare you!" she screeched at a sudden, painful volume. "If anything, you should be the one apologizing to me! You utter, utter brute!"

Hold on. Rainbow might have been a little oblivious, but even she could tell that this wasn't going to end well.

Flicking her eyes over at the earth-pony nearby prompted nothing useful from Dash's unhelpful farming friend. Okay, then. It was up to her. Chill. She could do this. Gulping slightly, the speedster tightened her shoulders and steeled her nerves. She raised a hesitant hoof in the direction of the dressmaker, stretching a painfully fake smile over her lips. "Um, hey! Maybe we should calm down a li—"

"Fine! Shall I detail your behaviour at the Gala, then, your Majesty? Very well! Let me elaborate! You were the most unpleasant pony I had ever been unfortunate enough to meet! Even the most basic standards of etiquette were beyond your reach! You were intolerably arrogant, rude to everyone you encountered! Despite your greater wealth, you refused to pay for your own meal, let alone mine! You insulted my friend's cooking! You were the epitome of self-obsession, treating me without chivalry, generosity, or honor." Rarity tossed her hair fluidly, somehow managing to glare without the use of her eyes. "And worst of all, your suit was definitely sub-standard."

Haha. The dumbfounded look on everypony's faces was almost enough to make up for the horrible consequences.

"I see. You have made your decision, then. Such a poor choice." Blueblood's brow twitched in boundless rage, and he gestured dismissively. "Guards! Take them to the dungeons."

Surprisingly, one of those weak-willed stallions managed to voice a complaint. "The … dungeons?"

A dark fire burned in the eyes of the king. "Do it!" he snarled, slamming his hoof onto the armrest of his throne. "Do as I tell you! In the name of Tartarus! Are you soldiers or not?"

There was a whispered discussion. "Your majesty," the leader of the guards finally spoke up. "I am afraid we cannot comply."

"Stonehoof!" Rarity cried, looking pathetically thankful that somepony was standing up for them. It had looked pretty dire there for a second, Rainbow had to admit. Whew.

The 'Stonehoof' guy stepped forwards, jaw locked in determination. "Your highness, I sincerely apologize for this insubordination. While we understand you are angry, it is my utmost regret to inform you that the command you have given us is actually against the law. I'm sure you are aware of this, but as ordained by Princess Celestia in the Equestrian Constitution, all potential offenses must stand before a ju—"

Eyes blazing, Blueblood snapped his head towards the soldier and flared his nostrils in rage. A horrifying silence fell over the room as the furious monarch opened his mouth unnaturally wide, his jaw cracking open to a disturbing degree. There was a whistling roar, a biting howl, and the unicorn sucked in an impossible, humongous breath. The unstoppable force of a cold, bitter gale ripped across the room, tearing something insubstantial from the loyal stallion's form.

Then the light in Stonehoof's eyes died, and the pegasus slowly crumbled, sagging unconscious to the ground.

"Mmm." Like he was tasting a rare delicacy, the King chewed and swallowed the cloudy ball of vapor. He finished with a smile, licked his lips, and a faint glimmer of light shinmered around his form. Nothing obvious about the guy really changed, but he suddenly seemed a lot bigger, somehow. It wasn't an actual growth in size, but his personality, his bearing, his posture … something had shifted, making him harder to ignore. Blueblood was larger than life, now. Too vibrant to miss.

Rainbow gaped in soundless fear, and was very relieved when nopony noticed.

"Why are you staring?" the monarch growled dangerously, those unreal winds beginning to stir once more. "I have given you soldiers a direct order. Do not make me repeat myself."

The terrified Royal Guard jumped to attention, three guards hurrying towards the prisoners. "Y-yes, your majesty!"

"Oh m-my," Rarity mumbled weakly as she was swiftly dragged away, the King's dark smile following them the entire time. "That's … a rather new trick."

There was a boom, and the doors to the throne room slammed shut behind them.

For a few minutes, nopony dared to say anything. Whatever Blueblood had done, whatever Stonehoof had experienced, it had been incredibly brutal. The guards that had rushed them out of there were pale-faced as well. Even the officer leading the way was grinding his teeth and muttering curses under his breath.

Still stunned by what she had seen, Rainbow stumbled against one of the soldiers, a kid barely out of his teens. She was pushed upright by a gentle hoof. "D-Don't worry, Miss Dash," he whispered nervously. "I … I'm sure everything will be fine."

"Fine. Yeah. Sure," she grumbled. The sarcasm helped to cover up her overwhelming sense of panic. Kind of.

"Private!" the dour, old pony in charge barked, pausing in his mumbling to pierce the newer recruit with his gaze. "Don't talk to the prisoner, you fool! I'm not about to have any more of my soldiers suffer Stonehoof's fate."

After checking that Rainbow wasn't going to trip over her own hooves, her escort rushed over to plead with the menacing stallion, talking in soft, traded hisses. "But sir, w-we can't just let this rest! This is all illegal! We're breaking the law! There's supposed to be a trial, and— … What are we going to do? We have to stop this!"

"You will not be stopping anything. I am the highest ranking officer in this castle at the moment, and I order you to hold yourself in check. Rash actions are the last thing we need right now."

Crestfallen and frightened, the green recruit looked like he was about to cry. "B-But!"

"Leave this to me." The scarred old officer's eyes never deviated from the path ahead of them, and his voice had dropped until it was barely even a whisper. "I understand your feelings, son. The Royal Guard is a force for justice, not tyranny. We have served the crown faithfully for nearly a millennium, and in all that time, corruption has never stained our name. We are ancient. We are noble. We are the greatest military force in Equestria, and I refuse to let us become a dictator's expendable pawns. However, this situation is incredibly delicate. A hasty response will do more harm than good. So, like I said. Leave it to me."

"Sir!" The kid saluted, looking much more reassured than before.

Sparing him an appraising glance, the older stallion lowered his voice even further. "There is, in fact, protocol for this situation, though the details are above your rank. First, it is essential that we get a message to a stallion by the name of Fancy Pants. If you ever encounter him, inform him that 'the fourth link rattles, and the Three are silent'. He will take care of the rest."

Rarity's ears visibly perked up at that sentence. "The fourth link? That … that's what Stonehoof said!" she gasped, shamelessly revealing her blatant eavesdropping.

The grizzled pegasus stopped short, spinning around to the dressmaker in a flash. "What?" he growled. "You actually heard Acting Captain Stonehoof mention this? Are you certain? Was he able to inform Fancy Pants? The transmission of that message is vital, citizen!"

"Inform him? My dear fellow, they were the only two there who understood that nonsense. I imagine Mr. Pants has been aware of the situation for some hours." The unicorn fanned herself airily.

"Unbelievable. He already knows." An unpleasant leer crossed the stallion's scarred features. "He knows, and Blueblood has no idea at all. This is far better than I had imagined. We might actually have a chance." Chuckling, he swiveled his head back to the front and continued walking down the hall, refusing to speak again for the duration of their trip.

As nervous as she was, Rainbow jumped a little when they abruptly stopped. Fishing out a rusty set of keys, the creepy old stallion unlocked a really heavy-looking door, and spent a while thoroughly examining the room inside.

He nodded in what might have been satisfaction. "Good. Lock them in."

"Hoy!" Applejack shouted in outrage as the soldiers obeyed orders, and they were all soon marehandled inside. "Ain't nopony goin' t'explain some of this nonsense? What in tarnation is goin' on aroun' here? What's that Pants feller got t'do with any a'this? Rarity, y'unnerstan', righ'?"

The flustered unicorn shook her head. "Darling, I assure you, I am just as bewildered as you are. Perhaps even more so. Pardon me, dear."

After entering, Rarity backed up towards the wall, obviously trying to make the tiny room seem less cramped than it actually was. That effort went to waste when Rainbow was pushed inside as well. Er, wow, this was really small. Heck, even Rainbow's wardrobe was bigger than this! And unlike the fussy dressmaker whining in the corner, Dash didn't care about clothes at all. No. This was not cool. Not cool at all.

"Aw, man." The pegasus came to a depressing realization. "Jail sucks."

"Hmph." That weird old officer stepped in as well, giving the prisoners a grim shadow of a smile. "Trust me, this isn't the end of the world, ladies. I have no doubt that Fancy Pants will find some way to free you. No idea how he'll manage it, but with his track-record, you'll be seeing clear skies soon enough." He reached out and grabbed the handle to the door, but paused for a moment before he pulled. "Probably," he added.

With that parting remark left to linger in the air, the door to the cell firmly shut, and the three mares were left alone in the dark.



Spike kicked a small pebble along the road, claws clasped sullenly behind his back.

Boy, Twilight and her friends had sure been gone for a really long time. Way longer than normal. Given his lack of other friends or hobbies, it hadn't taken long for him to run out of things to do. The most he'd managed to accomplish today was lend a customer a reference on paradoxical carpentry, and feed Owlowiscious a mouse (which had been gross to watch). Sheer boredom had prompted him to make a raid on his emergency gemstone supply, and now he was even running low on amethyst, the tastiest type of quartz.

This sucked.

So, eventually, he'd gotten fed up with counting the nails in the floorboards. In a moment of weakness, Spike had decided to visit the Crusaders. Sure, they wouldn't need his assisting skills, or … have anything really important to talk about. But at least they'd have some crazy scheme for him to take part in, right? Could be fun.

Except, Sweetie Belle was busy doing homework, and Scootaloo had disappeared somewhere for 'training', apparently. Sweet Apple Acres was his last resort!

Ah, whatever. If this didn't work out, he'd think of something better to do. Maybe he could go out to that gem-field Rarity showed him? That sounded pretty good. Even without a magical detection spell, he'd be sure to find something, right?

But the farm was a nice place, too. Tasty apples.

As the young dragon meandered towards the orchard, he absent-mindedly munched on a piece of granite he'd plucked from the road. Taking a shortcut and ducking under a fence, Spike was shocked to see a familiar face in front of him when he stood back up. He flinched, coughing up flecks of gravel that had gone down the wrong way. "Woahoh! Uh, princess Celestia? What are you doing here?" he stammered.

There wasn't a friendly ruffle of his spines in store. The solar sovereign didn't greet him as fondly as usual. Instead, Twilight's teacher seemed oddly stiff. Cautious? Weird. That wasn't like Celestia at all.

"Er, salutations," she said, staring confusedly at him. "Though we know not your face, We admit that We are similarly perplexed as to Our whereabouts, small reptile. In addition, We believe We are absent large portions of Our memory. As such, We have decided to take up residence in this location, wherever it may be, until Our … faculties return."

Did that mean what he thought it meant? "Oh, man!" Spike grabbed his head, a sudden surge of panic overwhelming him. "Celestia's got amnesia! This is really big! Twilight should have sent me a message about this! Did something happen to her? … Aw, never mind, I get it. She's gone on an adventure, hasn't she? Stupid Twilight and her awesome adventures. When will it be my turn to, uh … to banish a great evil, or something?"

"Ahem." The princess turned, and began walking slowly towards the distant barn, forcing the small assistant to scurry after her. "Words and wishes … are not sufficient to grant one fame, diminutive lizard. You speak of … heroism, but act without the certainty of strength. Such … cowardice is not the path of greatness. Yet, We recognize that this failure is through no fault of your own. Until your form holds the … power and experience that age will bring, it is better to remain at home, to … train yourself, and protect your family's possessions from thieves and would-be marauders. Such is Our … understanding of honor."

Spike huffed, breathing out a cloud of smoke. "Aw, you don't have to make excuses. I know what you're trying to say. 'You're just a baby dragon, Spike'." His claws flicked out into air-quotes. "Yeah, I know that. Sure. But it feels like I've been a baby for years! And Twilight won't let me read the books on dragon aging, so I don't even know when I'm gonna grow up. How long is it gonna take? Dragons live a really long time, right? What if I'm a baby for, like, decades? Argh, it's just so boring!"

Sparing him a glance, Celestia nudged the barn-door open, stepping into the darkness beyond. "Subject Apple Bloom?" she called. "A … tiny dragon is talking at Us. We require your assistance."

A sputtering crackle sounded out, and a ball of caged lightning lit up the room, suspended in the air above their heads. The glow washed over a dizzying array of scientific paraphernalia, and revealed a very dirty Apple Bloom wielding a very heavy wrench. The filly grinned easily. "Why, look who it is! Now don' worry yerself, princess, tha's jus' Spike! He's the number one assistan' to Twilight! Uh, y'might not remember, but Twilight's yer best student! A whiz with magic, and a real nice gal, t'boot."

"Hm." The explanation elicited a noncommittal hum from the alicorn. "We shall be the judge of that."

Celestia didn't remember her favorite protégée? Uh-oh. Twilight practically worshipped her monarch. This wasn't good.
Okay! He had to make a really fantastic impression, then. For Twilight!

"Uh, yeah! That's me! Number one assistant to number one students!" Leaning over to Celestia, he wiggled his claws. "The secret to writing well is not having hooves. It makes it really easy to hold a quill! Don't tell anyone, though!"

He was given a bewildered look. "… We … We shall not?"

"Haha, thanks!" He replaced his claws on his hips, beaming at a job well-done. "You're the best, princess!"

"Yes. Yes We are. Excuse Us." The confused-looking alicorn wandered away from the building, kicking the heavy door shut as she left.

After an awkward silence, Spike did his best to break the ice. "So … what's up, Apple Bloom?"

The earth-pony turned back to a solid-looking construction, deftly twisting a few bolts into place. "Eh, not much. Ah'm workin' on a few projects, but it's goin' real slow with me on mah own. Y'know, Ah kinda wish Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle were still here. Ah could do with'n extra hoof or two."

"Hey!" Spike shoved his arm into the air, waving it around excitedly. "I could help! I'm a great assistant!"

"Oh, … uh, Ah don' know …" Apple Bloom tapped her wrench on the metal, eyes flitting from side to side. "Ah mean, maybe y'ain't cut out fer this kinda stuff? It's real hard!" She coughed into a hoof.

That was a really terrible poker-face. Maybe it was a genetic problem, or something. Still, the young dragon knew why she wasn't so keen on the idea. He had been a pretty terrible assistant to her sister, after all. Even if it was on purpose.

A little disgruntled, he folded his arms. "If this is about that one time with Applejack, then I totally promise not to mess up like that! Dragon's honor!" Also, this time he wouldn't feel like he was betraying Twilight, so he wouldn't need to pull any crazy stunts. Probably.

"Uuuh …" She winced at his eagerness. Her own good nature prevented her from outright shoving him out the door, and he wasn't slow to capitalize on the fact.

Spike leapt forwards, clinging to her legs. "Pleeease? I'm really bored!"

"Aw, c'mon. That's what's bugging' ya? Yer jus' bored?" Apple Bloom huffed out an exasperated breath. "Oh, fine. But don' come cryin' t'me when y'get a splinter!"

He blinked. Then he chuckled. "A splinter? Haha, seriously? Did you forget I'm a dragon? Dragons don't just breathe fire and eat everything, we have super-tough scales, too! I can't even get splinters!" There were a lot of good points to being a dragon. He was secretly very proud of his awesome heritage, though he had yet to meet another friendly member of his own species. Hopefully he wouldn't grow up to be like those jerks. That would be the worst destiny ever.

"Issat so? Interestin' …" the filly mused, giving Spike a considering look as if she was seeing him for the first time.

Neat, this was working! So all he had to do was prove he was useful? He could do that! "Hey, also, did you know I'm kinda magic-resistant? It just sort of slides off my scales! Once Twilight figured that out, she started using me for casting practice." Spike rubbed his top lip dreamily. "Man, that mustache spell is really great."

"Hold on!" Apple Bloom dove for a pencil, and began to fire off questions. "How hot can y'make yer flames?"

"Huh? Oh … dunno. I think I accidentally melted some tin, once?" He wiggled a claw in one ear. "I dunno what temperature tin melts at, though. I've only ever tried to set paper on fire."

The pencil furiously scratched away as the young mare scribbled down notes. "Ever find a limit to what y'can eat?"

Spike had to really think about that one. "Um … well, thirty tubs of ice-cream gave me a wicked stomach-ache. But after it stopped hurting, Twilight said that it wasn't actually the ice-cream that made me sick. It only hurt because my insides got cold. I'm not supposed to eat too much cold stuff, yet. That's 'cus my fire's not very strong."

"So it's a correlated limit t'both of 'em." She tapped the pencil against her teeth. "Aw, hay. This ain't even close to mammalian physiology. And dragons get big, with great honkin' wings. There's gotta be some flight magic there. Maybe a metamorph'sis stage …" Apple Bloom shook her head, putting the pencil back to paper. "Anyhow, when y'say 'super-tough' scales, how tough d'ya mean?"

"I … I dunno." He hesitated. "Twilight wanted to test that, but she couldn't take out one of my scales. All her cool magical tools broke."

The pencil snapped.

"B-broke? … Heh. Heheheh. Ahahahahahaha!" The filly twirled him around in an exuberant dance, somehow avoiding all the delicate-looking stuff lying around the barn.

"W-Woah!" Spike yelped when his feet left the ground. "Slow down!"

The small pony stumbled and stopped, allowing him to stand on his own again. "Uh, sorry. Got a little overexcited, there." She blushed slightly, before offering him a more-composed hoof. "Spike, Ah think you'd be a great help. Welcome t'the team!"

"Sweet!" He wiped his brow in relief. "Thanks, Apple Bloom! You're a real pal!"



Before she spoke, Twilight made sure to swallow the large mouthful of clover she had been chewing. "Huh. That's worrying," she quietly mumbled to herself. Her mysterious statement wasn't a reprimand to the clover, obviously. All clover did was taste delicious. That was perfectly acceptable behaviour for a plant.

No, the violet mare had more important things to be thinking about than breakfast.

Perhaps that was unwise. It was a minor miracle she had any appetite at all, considering recent events, so maybe she should indulge it while she could. After all, a few hours of flying and an unexpected patch of turbulence had resulted in the librarian getting spectacularly travel-sick. Not twenty minutes ago, she had put forward a strained request that they walk the rest of the distance to the Element. The others saw how green Twilight's face was, traded a panicked look, and practically fell over themselves to agree. Fluttershy Airlines screeched to a halt. Tumbling onto the grass had been a painful, but welcome relief from the constant, nauseating movement, and the unicorn successfully kept the contents of her stomach down. A minor victory.

Well, it wasn't like it had been very comfortable, sitting two-apiece on a single pony. Both geometrically and emotionally awkward.

Now that her head had stopped spinning, she'd taken the chance to make some self-diagnostics. From a visual/tactile standpoint, most of her bruises appeared to be healing nicely, and her horn barely even throbbed with hot agony any more. In fact, she was in fairly good health, all things considered! It was only the unusual state of her magic that had prompted a comment, and even then, she wasn't sure that she was getting the right readings. The numbers didn't make any sense. "Really, 12 Thaums?" she huffed. "I've never even heard of such a pathetic score. That's a sad fraction of the magic the average terracorn wields, let alone a trained unicorn. How odd."

Maybe the discovery had put her a little on edge. Maybe Twilight didn't think her friends could hear her disgruntled mutterings, as she had fallen a fair distance behind the others in her search for a healthy meal. Either way, the unicorn was completely unprepared for a burst of pink hair to pop up right in front of her. She almost shrieked, but found herself silently flinching instead, covering her head with her hooves. Survivor's instinct. Protect the eyes. The brain too, that was a pretty important organ. It did useful things.

"What's odd?" chirped the living mass of cotton candy that passed for a traveling companion. "Is it me? Am I odd? C'mon, don't spare my feelings! Tell me the truth!"

"Oh. It's just … you." Deeply embarrassed by her overreaction, the purple scholar hastened to stand back up. "Yes. Yes, you're very odd." The baker seemed awfully pleased at the minor insult. "But I wasn't talking about you."

"You weren't?" chimed in the final member of their team, blinking long, soulful eyes at them.

Fluttershy had heard her talking as well? It really was astounding how everypony listened to Twilight when she ignored them, but nobody cared when she tried to actually share her knowledge. "No. No, I wasn't. As a matter of fact, I was trying to check my magic levels. They're not looking all that great. Even taking into account the deleterious effects of a core-rupture, I'm barely scraping at the dregs of a nigh-subterranean barrel of potency, so to speak. It's a little concerning, you know?" That had been an awfully muddled analogy, but it would suffice for now. She was too hungry to be self-consistent.

"Waaait." Pinkie narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "How did you check your magic if you can't do magic?"

"Autothaumatomensuration." The librarian's short statement was rewarded with total silence. Curious, she looked up from a rather enticing daffodil, only to see two clear expressions of magnificent incomprehension.

Great. Wonderful. Time to explain some more incredibly complex stuff to ponies who didn't even want to know about the underlying theory. That was always a rewarding task, wasn't it?

She kneaded her temples to buy time. "Uh, give me a second. Okay. You know how unicorns can cast spells? Of course you do. Right. Well, all of us have an inner pool of accessible energetic potential, and it's possible to manually gauge the quantity of magical energy inside it. It's not amazingly accurate, but you don't need to be able to perform spells to do it. A neat little trick."

The more passive of her two friends frowned slightly in concentration. "I … think I understand, but I don't really know what a lot of those words mean, Twilight." Fluttershy glanced up at the unicorn's beribboned horn guiltily. "Magic is very instinctual for pegasi, and I'm pretty sure earth-ponies have no conscious control over their magic at all. I always had very low magic levels, so I never had to learn that much about any of it. Sorry."

"I have no idea what's going on!" Pinkie exclaimed cheerfully, completely unabashed at her own ignorance. "But that's okay! You guys have fun talking about your voodoo stuff. I'll just sit here." She did so. Then, presumably unable to sit still for more than a few seconds, the baker stuck out her tongue and began trying to lick her own forehead.

Apparently, it was quite difficult.

Despite her obvious unease, a wan smile flashed across Fluttershy's face at the earth-pony's antics. It was a reluctant pegasus that finally turned away from the living distraction. "So, um, what did you find, Twilight?"

"Oh, that's right." She had been doing Science. The thaumaturgical researcher tried to place herself into an impartial state of mind. Since the tests were about her own condition, keeping her feelings out of the findings would prove to be more difficult than usual. "Well, since you asked, a crude analysis puts my magical reserves at a very low level. In fact, it looks like my powers have been reduced by approximately two orders of magnitude. Uh, that's a factor of a hundred or so, in case you were wondering. It's quite a lot."

"Ahh hmundredf?" The straining tongue snapped back into Pinkie's mouth like a stretched piece of elastic. "Woah! That sounds big!"

The librarian wasn't about to disagree on that one. "Yeah. That's because it is. And you know what? I have a sneaking suspicion that my Element might be the cause. I mean, my aspect was supposed to be Magic itself, right? So maybe it was giving me a magical boost, and the removal of that boost was what damaged my reserves? That makes a little sense. Kind of. In my head, at least."

"Oh no," Fluttershy whispered. "I'm r-really worried about you, Twilight. With this as well as everything else … I can't think of a part of you that isn't h-hurt!"

"Meh. Physically and mentally speaking, I'm only a little battered. I'll be fine. But–" The unicorn gulped, but continued following the grim line of thought. "But until I can get my horn fixed, I can't cast any spells at all. And of course, even if I get medical attention, it's frighteningly possible that my magic won't recover to its original state. I'm pretty anxious about that, I admit."

A bubbling gasp of shock lifted the baker to her feet. "No way! Magic's your thing!"

"It used to be. I don't know. Maybe I'll have to find something else to be good at. Knitting, or something." Twilight tried to smirk at her own bleak humor, but couldn't shake the disgruntled grumpiness that was building up inside her. "Hmph," she groused. "So much for being the muscle on this mission. I'm doubly crippled, now. No magic, no horn, and very little on else to offer. Just dead weight, that's me. Almost worse than useless."

Fury darkened Fluttershy's face like an oncoming storm, as the most unexpected, terrible rage passed over the small mare. "Don't you dare say that! You are not useless!" she shouted.

Not this again. "Oh, stop it." Rolling her eyes, the librarian stopped the onslaught of righteous anger by poking her friend firmly on the nose. "Calm down, Fluttershy. All I'm doing is venting. I'm certainly upset, but I'm not about to have a nervous collapse. I've read too many psychology textbooks for that to happen. Again, I mean. For that to happen again."

"Y- … wh- … Nh?" It seemed that the pegasus had been very unprepared for such a complete rebuttal. Her stupefied look was more than a little adorable.

Perhaps she should clarify a little. "That's not to say I don't have problems. See, I know that I put far too much stock in my powerful magical abilities, and not enough in myself as a person. And, yes, I'm also substantially neurotic, upsettingly anxious, obsessively neat, irrationally logical, and I absolutely idolize those I consider worthy of respect. It's just that I'm fully aware of my issues. Sure, there's a lot of them, but if you take a closer look, you might notice an absence of consistent depression or self-loathing. In fact, I'd say I'm closer to arrogance than anything else. It's not just idle boasting on my part when I say I've had a really good life. I'm a magical prodigy, an acclaimed researcher, and a renowned public figure in my own right! My self-image is totally fine. I like myself. Perhaps too much, even."

Was she rambling? No, rambling would be a terribly silly thing to do. Twilight Sparkle didn't ramble. That would be ego-shattering.

"Uh, um, yes, but—"

"Shush, I'm still talking," she thoughtlessly responded. The unicorn found herself immediately regretting the unwarranted rebuke, as Fluttershy wilted piteously and Pinkie proceeded to shoot her a glare. "Uh, sorry. I … didn't mean to be rude. Look, I have to be realistic about my own capabilities. Pretty much all my practical skills revolved around sorcery. That's not an exaggeration. I literally depend upon being able to cast spells. Remember how hard it was for me to help with Ponyville's strange Winter Wrap Up? Basically, without my monstrously-broad special talent of 'magic' to lean on, all I have left are my abilities as a pretty good librarian. And those just consist of being decently organized and well-read. Hey! Guess what? In a very serious situation, with death on the line, that's almost entirely unhelpful! My reliance on my strengths has led to my own defeat. Ironic, really."

The yellow mare floundered. "But ... um—"

"Relax. I'm fine. Annoyed, but fine." Neither of the other ponies seemed to be buying it, so the librarian tried to smile reassuringly at her friends, stretching the corners of her mouth as far as they would go.

Somehow, Fluttershy seemed even more anxious than before. "If … if you're sure, then," the pegasus murmured miserably.

Wow, okay. Twilight really had to work on her comforting smiles. Apparently, they sucked.
Unsurprising. Apparently, she sucked, too.

Back at the start of their current adventure, she had thrown spells around like they were going out of style. Hey, why not, right? That was her standard method of solving problems! But wouldn't you know it, the situation had went and changed, as situations are oft wont to do. Running out of energy forced her to resort to unsafe thaumaturgical practices, and as a result, magic was now totally off the books. How depressing.

Hey, wait. Books? Hey, books! Maybe she could take up an advisory role? Even though it wasn't exactly the kind of heavyweight duties she was used to, being able to help in any way at all would take a massive weight off her mind.

Good plan. Mental note, come up with some advice to offer the others. Advisors need advice.

A queer grimace crossed Pinkie's face, and the earth-pony raised her muzzle into the air. "Hey, uh, do you guys smell something weird?" The baker took a few hefty sniffs of the morning breeze. "Smells like somepony's cooking!"

"Hmm?" Fluttershy began her own, discreet inspection of the surrounding aromas.

At first, Twilight couldn't detect a trace of any suspicious scents. However, before long, the prevailing wind changed direction, and she caught a face-full. "Smoke. That's the smell of smoke." She narrowed her eyes. "Come on, girls. There's probably a clearing up ahead. Let's see what we have to deal with."

Breaking into a slight canter, the three of them wove between the tall trunks of evergreens. As the unicorn ran, she pointed her muzzle straight upwind, following her nose. From the landmarks around them, the smell was leading the ponies straight onwards to the crash site. They weren't going off track at all. Hmm. That revelation had the potential to be either good, or very, very bad. Hopefully, the Element hadn't caused a forest fire on re-entry, and the odor of burning wood was simply due to some sort of rural civilization.

The forest slowly thinned, as the clearing she had predicted came into view. There, a poorly doused campfire still smoldered in a central fire-pit, surrounded by the deep ruts of wooden wheels and the patchy patterns of hoofprints.

"Well, well. Would you look at that," the librarian chuckled, slowing to a stop near the tree-line. "A campsite. Recently used, to boot. That would explain the smell. And, according to my calculations, this should also be the place the Element landed! Now, where's that crater?"

Spinning around in place, Pinkie stopped her unproductive gyrations in order to dramatically throw out a hoof. "Oh! Behind you,Twilight!"

"Huh?" The lavender mare turned, and saw the boulder that her friend was pointing out. She hopped a little in glee. "Ahah! That looks like concussive damage from a high-velocity impact, alright! But … hold on, that angle's impossible. Look, there's Canterlot in the distance. The crater is pointing away from the Element's origin. Did the boulder move, maybe? No, the moss around the base is undisturbed. How utterly fascinating! Argh, if only I could use magic to investigate." The librarian worried her lip in frustration.

Before she could begin to get genuinely upset, the stiff breeze carried a soft shout to her ears. "Um, Twilight! I found some sparkly stuff!"

"Great work, Fluttershy!" Twilight trotted over to where the yellow pegasus was stooped over a shining pool of powder. The magical motes of dazzling silver glittered like stars, reflecting and magnifying the dappled sunlight that threaded its way through the trees. "Ah, conjured stardust." She nodded emphatically. "A form of thaumic residue, almost always produced by uniquine sorcery."

There was the repetitive sound of twigs repeatedly snapping. Bouncing up from behind, Pinkie 'oohed' excitedly at the attractive substance. "Hey, that's really pretty! What's it for?"

A small silence reigned as Twilight tapped her chin thoughtfully. "Well, I'm no expert, but I think this stuff is mostly used in stage effects. Prestidigitation, legerdemain, theatre; that sort of thing. I believe it's also a major component in most fireworks. Not much practical use, but it doesn't need much power to create, and it looks vaguely spooky, I guess. Sort-of shiny. Still, stardust is a phantasmal substance. It fades after a day or two, depending on conditions. That means it was left here recently." She flicked her eyes to the strange crater and back. "Let's see … our evidence consists of what looks like a magically altered boulder, and traces of magical materials. From this, we can conclude that our culprit is almost certainly a unicorn! In particular, one who stayed at this campsite before moving on, taking the Element with them. Pinkie, you know a lot of ponies. Any names spring to mind?"

"Okaay." The enthusiastic socialite scratched her ear in deep contemplation. "So we're going to be looking for a unicorn, possibly either a homeless or nomadic one. Based on the stardust, they might enjoy doing showy magical tricks, and they must be either greedy or desperate enough to pick up a mysterious amulet of unknown, spooky properties, probably in an attempt to get a short-lived burst of power to supplement their own, weaker abilities. Somepony like that?"

Uh. Huh?

"Wh… hngmna?" Twilight said articulately. She wasn't usually one to gape, but there was an exception to every rule. That had been, quite possibly, the most intelligent thing she had ever heard come out of the pink menace's hyperactive mouth. Quick, support it! Positive reinforcement! "… uh, I mean, yes! Nicely put! That was almost a real deduction. I'm seriously impressed!"

Looking confused at the praise, but perfectly willing to accept it, the baker shot her a dazzling smile. "Haha, thanks? I practice recapping in the mirror! Dunno the answer, though! Sorry!"

"Um, me neither," Fluttershy shook her head. Despite the definitive wording, there was a puzzled air around the pegasus. Admittedly, that wasn't really an unusual state of being for the timorous veterinarian, but Twilight took note of it anyway. "I don't … think I've heard of anyone like that, before."

"Hmm." The purple unicorn scowled and cradled her chin in one hoof. "Unfortunately, there's no way we'd be able to track another pony over the countryside. Not only are we restricted to non-magical methods, none of us have the appropriate training. I was hoping that we'd be able to find some sort of identifying evidence, but if we can't even get a basic profile of the suspect, then it looks like we're totally stumped. Darn."

"Oh. Can we go back to Ponyville, then?" Pinkie pleaded.

Sadly, no. That wasn't an option. No matter how much Twilight wanted to go home, and close all the blinds, and hide under the covers with an excellent book or twelve, she had to sternly shake her head. "Canterlot would be better. That's where Rainbow, Rarity, and Applejack are, and we could definitely use their help." Princess Luna had been absolutely right. Fighting a Bearer was more than any one pony could handle. Heck, it had been more than three ponies could handle. "Fluttershy, would you lend us your speed once again?"

Nodding furiously, the pegasus blushed a little. "Y-Yes, of course. I'll … try to fly a bit smoother, too."

"Yeah. Thanks." The unicorn coughed uncomfortably at the reminder. Hopefully, the in-flight turbulence wouldn't be as bad this time. Her reactions to transportation were getting to be a bit of a reoccurring problem. "I guess we should be off, then."

Determinedly thrusting her hooves in the air, Pinkie seemed intent on celebrating something. "Hooray! We're going flying!" she whooped. "Don't worry, Twilight! We'll be back, won't we?"

Once again, the earth-pony had correctly picked out the problem at the forefront of Twilight's mind. The baker could be very perceptive, but not consistently so. Weird. Twilight couldn't quite decide whether that quirk was irritating or comforting.

"Yep. You can count on it. We're not giving up yet." The librarian smiled tersely. "Until we return, though, all we can do is hope for the best."



"Citizens of Ponyville!" A light-blue mare spread her hooves, cloak billowing dramatically in the wind. "It is time for you to once again witness the glorious might of The Great And Powerful Trixie!" To mark the occasion, a series of fireworks went off with a bang, making the entrance as explosively flashy as physically possible.

And … yep, there we go. Colgate felt the last vestiges of her good mood crumble away like dried mud in the wind. It was official. Today sucked.

It came as no surprise to her when Daisy, a skittish mare at the best of times, screamed shrilly and keeled over in a dead faint. Nor was it particularly strange when everypony else seemed to take that as the signal to freak out however they wanted. Was it annoying? Yes. Unusual? Sadly, no. Not really. Not for Ponyville.

"Gargh!" a street-vendor shouted, revealing a voice that sounded like he'd been gargling glass for fun. "Not her! She's pure evil!"

"Run!" squealed a flighty customer, dropping her unfashionable, red saddlebags in her haste to escape. The subtle kick she gave the bags didn't go unnoticed, but Colgate knew the mare was just searching for an excuse to change her wardrobe. Some ponies were determined to be fashion victims. Sad.

Someone bellowed in what might have been shock. "Get the pitchforks!"

"The farmer's market just closed!" shrieked another. "We're all out of pitchforks!"

"Aah!"

"Run!"

"I'm too young to be turned into a filly!"

Swarming in every direction, ponies fled screaming from the unthreatening unicorn and her fancy wagon, bowling each other over in their attempts to flee. "No, uh … stop!" Trixie called, realising her error far too late. "Wait! I mean you no harm!" The performer winced in sympathy as a wild-eyed stallion rammed head-first into a signpost. "Th… this time I promise to be good! I swear it! Just please stop hurting yourselves! It's really very concerning!"

Mmkay.

Colgate backed away, only narrowly missing another minor stampede. This racket was a pretty bad one. She really didn't want to get caught up in whatever weird calamity was about to occur. Had she misread the calendar? She'd thought it was Sunday, not Saturday. Maybe the Elements' villain-of-the-week had gotten caught in traffic, or something? Er … was it a leap year? No. No, it wasn't. Besides, everyone she'd talked to yesterday (mostly Lyra, admittedly) had been under the assumption that the explosion in Canterlot had ticked all the necessary boxes for 'wacky hijinks'. The normal citizens had breathed a sigh of relief, and moved on to worrying about next week. So this was something … completely different? Darnit.

Man, this kind of mis-scheduling was going to throw everyone's arrangments completely out of whack.

As she edged her way onto a side avenue, the movements of a brown stallion caught her eye. For some reason, the perfectly normal-looking guy was calmly sauntering over to a nearby alley instead of running around in a blind panic. Yep. Very un-pony-like.

Despite the slightly unusual behaviour, at first glance the stallion didn't seem to be anything special. Average earth-pony, brown-on-brown color scheme, unimpressive physique. To Colgate, though, it all added together, and the end result was much more than the sum of its parts. It wasn't the gaudy, golden, jeweled tie he wore, or the gleeful expression on his face. Nothing that clever. But she'd be a pretty terrible daughter if she couldn't recognize her own father.

"D-Dad? Dad!" She yelled, pushing through the terrified crowd as fast as she could. "Dad, wait up!" If only these morons would move!

Finally breaking through the tide of idiocy, Colgate bolted down the alleyway. She wasn't that athletic, so the running took most of her concentration, but a small corner of her mind managed to take note of the strange lights and sounds that were grinding out from the end of the tiny, twisted street. The unicorn took the last corner at a gallop, but was forced to skid to a stop to avoid a brick wall. There was nothing there. He'd disappeared right in front of her. "What! No!" She spun around. Nothing but bricks and mortar.

Furious, she pounded a hoof heavily onto the beaten earth. "Dammit! I lost him? How the heck did I manage to lo-Eargh!" Just by shifting her weight slightly, Colgate managed to trip over her own hooves, falling flat on her face. She hadn't even been walking.

Yeah, wonderful job, there.
Well done.

Grimacing for more reasons than one, Colgate cradled her injured nose, and looked for the squarish object she'd slipped on. She should really start checking where she placed her hooves. "Nmpff. Mwhuh? Hmng," the young mare pondered articulately. Her latest acquisition was a novel. A distinctly old novel, but one that appeared to be in excellent condition.

Could it be a clue? Maybe.

Hold on for a sec.
Delicately sniffing, Colgate checked her hoof for blood. Thankfully, it looked like her nose wasn't broken.

"I suppose that's better than nothing," she grumbled. "Now, what's this?"

Weird. There didn't appear to be a title on the cover of the novel. The first page had a few words printed onto it, but for some reason, the ink wasn't the usual black. Instead, it was a strange, deep shade of red.

'–ic Mirror, by Grim Hilde,' she silently read. 'A fantastical tale of wondrous events. Based on a true story.'

How helpful. The unicorn frowned in confusion, lifting a hoof to rub the back of her neck. What a terrible clue that was. It was almost like it wasn't actually a clue. "Is this just meant to be a foal's book or something? Lame."

"Colgate!" Somepony rounded the corner behind her, lifting her attention away from the page.

Glancing up at the sound of her name, she saw a blonde-maned, gray-coated pony wave cheerily at her, while slowly loop-de-looping down the cramped avenue. "Oh. Hey, Derpy," she nodded in greeting as her friend descended to the ground. "I thought you still had mail to deliver."

"Nah, the Head Postman said that once I delivered my last bag of letters, I should try and get lost for a few hours, because he had something important to do! So I went and put the mail in all the right slots, and now I'm already kinda lost! This day is going perfectly." The sheer determination on the pegasus' face was only partially undone by her eyes wafting in utterly different directions.

She'd noticed a slight problem with Derpy's statement, though. "Uh," Colgate held up a hoof to gesticulate, but rapidly rethought her idea of using a visual means of communication. She put it back down. "I don't think that 'get lost' means what you think it—"

"Ooh, what's that?" The bubbly mailmare craned her neck, trying to see the title on the cover of the unicorn's newest acquisition.

Defeated before she'd even begun to argue. Yep. Sounds about right.

Disgustingly disgruntled, the blue mare looked down at the yellowing pages, flipping a few in a fit of idle speculation. "I … I guess I don't really know. Some kind of old book." She passed the thing over to Derpy, who seemed eager to check it out.

"Wow, Daring Do and the Magic Mirror?" The gray pegasus gasped. "I didn't know they were still printing those!"

"Huh. You know it?"

Derpy beamed with pure joy, spinning around in happy little circles. "Yeah! Does that mean you never read it? Oh, it's great! The story's about how Daring looks into a mirror, but the reflection comes to life! And then there's an adventure, and the reflection tries to replace her, but she's defeated with one of Daring's clever tricks! It was my favorite book as a filly!"

"Okay." Colgate backed away to a safe distance, and tried not to seem that creeped out. She wasn't very successful. "You seem excited about this."

The smile slowly slipped off the pegasus' face. "Um, yeah. My book was … pretty special to me. It was something my parents left me, before … you know. The accident." There was a short, intensely awkward silence, during which Colgate wanted to punch herself for her massive insensitivity. Derpy just kept talking. "After that, I … I didn't remember my mom and dad all too well, but as a kid, I used to imagine what they might have been like. Most of us did, at the orphanage. I mean, what if Daring Do was secretly your mom? That would have been so awesome!"

"Uh, sure." Good gosh. What a fantastically depressing tale. For added angst-value, the tale of missing parental figures had hit a little too close to home. Colgate coughed in embarrassment. "I … actually, I can kinda relate to that. I mean, Dad was always just Dad, but I had a lot of fantasy novels. So … I used to imagine my mom was a secret super-wizard from the future, sworn to protect Equestria from the shadows that continue to haunt its nightmares today." The two of them shared a quick look of silent commiseration. Or at least, that was what Colgate was doing. She wasn't totally sure if Derpy was thinking the same things. Maybe something about muffins.

No, stop it. That was a mean thing to think. Hidden depths, remember? It turned out the girl had them. Orphan empathy-powers, or something. That was definitely how this worked.

Trying to relax her face into a more comforting arrangement of bruised features, the unicorn shoved her voice down to a more soothing volume. "Do you still have the book? It sounds pretty important to you," she remarked lightly.

A lopsided shrug from the mail-carrier. "Nah. I lost it ages ago, and never got to replace it. I would have bought another, but they stopped selling them just as my copy went missing. Hey, um, can I have this one?" Derpy's puppy-dog eyes were turned on, full-pelt. It would have been a real tough job to resist them, but luckily, the blue mare had no intention of doing so. Frankly, she just couldn't muster up the effort to care about somepony else's stupid book.

She snorted. "Go ahead. Knock yourself out. But if someone calls you out for stealing it, you're on your own."

Ah, for Pete's sake! This conversation, while meaningful and stuff, was totally not helping! Books and childhood flashbacks had nothing to do with finding her Dad. Colgate shook her head, annoyed with herself. "Okay! Enough with imaginary parents," she declared. "I have a real one to find."

A faint hint of recognition seemed to spark in Derpy's memory. "Hmm? Oh, Dusty, you mean?"

"Yeah, I saw Dad run in here. And now I am here, and he is not. Do you see a way he could have escaped?" For lack of any better way to search, she checked the walls for what felt like the twentieth time, still failing to find a secret entrance. Impossible. There had to be one somewhere. She'd read loads of detective novels, so she knew what she was talking about. There was precedent!

"No, not really." The pegasus narrowed her eyes. "Not without wings. Did he have wings?"

Colgate raised a single eyebrow. "No. He doesn't have wings. He's an earth-pony."

"Oh. Okay." There was a brief period of silence, as they both took in the blank walls of the tiny avenue. "So, uh ..." Derpy glanced around and lowered her voice. "Back with Luna, was … was that really Discord I was talking to? He seemed so nice!"

"Why, thank you!" said a sudden, deep voice, from right behind the two ponies. "I appreciate the compliment, madam!"

Derpy blushed hotly, and the two of them whirled around to face the mischievous god. He looked … uncharacteristically charming. Also, the guy was wearing a particularly nice hat. Colgate didn't know why. It looked pretty dumb, though, considering his horns. Uh, maybe that was the point? It was hard to predict Discord.

"My deepest apologies for both the surprise I gave you now, and the dark secret of my identity that I was forced to keep from you. It was a feeble attempt to avoid making a scene, but you should not have been involved in such deception. To do so was wrong." He smiled, teeth shining despite the absence of direct light. "As recompense for my subterfuge, let me introduce myself properly. Disorder, Lord of Chaos. It is a pleasure to truly make your acquaintance, my dear."

"Buh?" A subtle pinch of Colgate's foreleg nailed it down. She wasn't dreaming. This was actually happening.
What the funk?

"A-ah!" Derpy flushed bright red as the draconequus bent double to kiss her hoof. "No, t-the pleasure's all mine! I-I'm Ditz– no, ah, w-wait, I mean … Derpy! Yes, Derpy!"

Spinning like a top, that fancy hat twirled down from Discord's head, and he gave the pegasus a roguish wink and a bow. He wasn't even trying to act like a real person any more – more like a cardboard cut-out of a trashy romance's leading male character. "Miss Derpy, then. I shall not soon forget that name."

Ugh. Colgate grimaced. The creep's lines were pure cheese, but unfortunately, it looked like they were working. Her friend's face was starting to resemble a sunburned tomato.

Seriously, though. Ew. Maybe Derpy was okay with this, but Colgate certainly wasn't. Her interests lay strictly within the boundaries of the species.
But she had to be there for her friend, right? Blugh. Eurgh. She was totally going to need a stiff, salty drink after this. Lots of self-medication.

"You can do this. Just pretend it isn't happening," she muttered, holding her head. "Go to a happy place. That's right. Yeah. A place without creepy, interspecies flirting."

Oh.
Oh dear.
She shouldn't have said that out loud.

To Colgate's horror, one of the mail carrier's eyes swiveled in her direction, completely independent of the other. The sight sent chills up her spine.

"What was that?" Derpy asked. The pleasant, chirpy tone of the gray pegasus' voice didn't extend to covering the layer of pure steel in her tone. "Could you repeat that, please? I seem to have misheard you." A sweet smile crossed exactly one half of her face.

Under the legendary, one-eyed stare, Colgate could do nothing but freeze. "Who, m-me?" she forced out. "I … I was just thinking about, uh, cheap and inexpensive shirting!" Oh gosh, that was the worst lie ever, quick, change the subject! "Anyway, so, w-what happened to Luna?" In her frantic, disheveled state, the words tumbled out as fast as she could compose them. Cursing, and fumbling with a small hoofkerchief, she hurriedly wiped away the sweat dripping down her brow.

"Hmph. Luna?" Discord dismissively brushed some dust off his fur, as if he could brush off the princess in a similar manner. "Don't ask me, girl. Our pretentious compatriot suddenly decided to have a chat with the magician that caused that wonderful little spot of mayhem. She said something about the mare's powers being suspicious, I believe."

Okay, good. Information. And more importantly, Derpy had looked away, apparently mollified. Mission: Distraction was a success. Thank Pete.

The unicorn sighed, a heady combination of relief and exasperation flowing over her. Right. Er, what did Discord say? Luna went to check out Trixie? "Yeah, I'm not surprised," she chuckled. "I think Trixie might have a bad habit of artifact-abuse. Last time she was here, she tried to enslave Ponyville with a magical amulet, and the Elements had to pull off some sneaky tricks to win. But, hey, whatever. That sounds a lot more important than helping me. So, I guess if Princess Luna's not here, then I'll have to ask you, Disco—mph?"

She crossed her eyes. A paw was covering her mouth.
Why.

Oh, right. Discord changed his name to 'Disorder' for some stupid reason. Colgate had completely forgotten.

That was no excuse, though. Shoving the limb away, she huffed at him, irritated at the invasion of her personal space. "Blech! Don't do that! Why don't you try to cover princess Luna's mouth, huh? You're not shy about insulting her, and she calls you Di– … uh, D… that all the time!"

"Are you kidding?" Disorder visibly blanched at the thought. "I don't care if she's royalty, that overgrown toddler obviously has some sort of oral fixation. All I did was go and tease her a little, and the irritating child went and bit me! Bit me! So, no. I'm not putting anything of mine near her mouth. Just because I represent irrationality doesn't mean I'm stupid. You go cover her mouth. Leave me alone," he bitterly grouched. 

Wow. He seemed totally intent on throwing a tantrum over Luna's bad manners. Despite having no manners himself. Yeah, good call, idiot. Despite the excuses he'd whined at her, that was pretty stupid indeed. He was so weird. Why did Derpy seem so star-struck for such a jerk? The overpowered idiot hadn't been that handsome as a pony. Middling at best.

Good carp on a cracker. Disorder just would not shut his pie-hole. Colgate needed a way to stop the tide of grousery. Perhaps a distraction?

Ugh, how many distractions had she used in this one conversation? Way too many. She felt kinda manipulative, even more so than she usually did, what with her chosen profession and all. That feeling probably wasn't a good sign.

This one could be a diversion, then. Yes. A diversion was a different thing entirely, and if she believed in that excuse enough, it might even become slightly less fake.

Perfect.
She plastered on a smile. "Hey, uh, Disorder?"

"You called?" He flicked his hair in a smarmy fashion, back to his usual good mood in an instant. It wasn't going to fool Colgate, though. To put it bluntly, the sheep had already bolted from the stable. He was a sleaze, and everyone present knew it.

Still, perhaps they could have a working relationship. She didn't have to like him in order to use him heartlessly for her own gain, did she? Wait, that didn't sound right.

Dammit. Never mind, get to the point. "I thought I saw Dad, but when I went to chase after him, he disappeared around this alleyway." She made some very vague hoof motions. "As far as I can tell, he just vanished. Since you're apparently a good guy now, do you think you could help find him? I don't know where to go from here."

Frowning, Disorder stroked his beard. "Vanished, did he? A-roundabouts here? Let me just have a look with my … magic eyes. Bzam!" With a wiggle of his disparate fingers, a pair of goofy glasses appeared on the tip of his snout, complete with puffy mustache and ridiculous, fuzzy eyebrows. At first, the blue mare thought it was just another stupid, practical joke. But instead of cackling at her and turning her into a toothbrush, the draconequus stiffened in shock. "Impossible! No, it can't be him! I saw him die!" he roared dramatically.

Colgate flinched back from the unexpected show of rage. "W-What? Who died?"

Oh no. No, no, no.
No, please don't let it be who she thought it was. Please! Her dad had so much to live for!
Like … his job! And his house! He liked fruit salad, too, a lot! That was a good reason to live, right? Right?

"By the stars …" The fallen god removed the spectacles with a shaking claw, looking more serious than she'd ever seen him. "The Doctor has returned."

There was an ominous pause as the two of them looked at each other, fumbling through the uncomfortable process of collecting their thoughts. Happily unbothered by such awkward things as timing or social pitfalls, Derpy scrunched up her face in confusion. "The Doctor? Doctor who?" she asked.

He didn't bother with the charm this time, just sent the pegasus a wry glance. "Not quite, my dear. Doctor Whooves."

"Hooves?" Hold on just a second. Hooves, as in Colgate? As in her dad? Maybe this was a joke, after all. If so, it was in very poor taste. "Are you making fun of me? Who are you calling a doctor? And who's supposed to be dead, you jerk?" she spat.

Disorder shot her a totally puzzled glance, before a dawning look of realization crossed his face. "… Oh. Oh, I see." A mirthless chuckle slipped from between his lips. " 'Dusty Hooves'. Hooves. Whooves," he breathed hotly, as if testing out the name. "Of course. There were two headed towards this little town, weren't there? If he used the vast power of one of them to … yes, Memory. Memory could do it. But where would he have hidden it?" He paced, back and forth across the alleyway. "No, that doesn't make sense. He never wore pockets. All he ever wore was that stupid … no. No! Yes! It was the tie! Orange and gold! His blasted tie! Yes. Yes! It all makes sense now!"

Seriously, this nonsense was getting very old, very quickly.

In a vain attempt to calm herself down, Colgate sucked in a breath through the gaps in her teeth, before letting it out with a hiss. "Wow," she gave a brittle laugh. "Yes. I'm so happy for you. I'm very glad you're having so much fun. But you just told me my Dad might be dead. Or not. I don't know. I didn't really understand what you were saying. Just to put my mind at ease, then, perhaps you could share your news with the rest of the class? In real words. That would be very nice."

"Girl, I have excellent news." Woah, Disorder sure sobered up fast. "I think I finally know what happened to your father. And he's definitely not dead. I give you my word."

Huh. That … was not what she was expecting. "Really?" She blinked.

"Really. And oh, my goodness gracious me, this answers so many questions. Ha! Hahaha! Fantastic!" Maniacal twinkles gleamed like stars from the depths of the draconequus' eyes. "It looks like things are finally getting … interesting!"



It was pretty dark in here.

Dang! Could barely see her own hoof in front of her face. That's some mighty fine darkness. Top-quality. Five stars. Yeah, Applejack's eyes were gonna have their work cut out for them, trying to adjust properly to this kinda lighting.

Uh, now, it may sound alarmingly like Applejack was complaining, but she wasn't. Nope. Night-time wasn't just when you were supposed to fall over and hallucinate for a few hours; it was a deeper, heavier deal for about most everyone. The dark was known to … send ponies a bit strange. Case in point, princess Luna. That whole screw-up with Nightmare Moon and the thousand years of bad, pumpkin-flavored candy was where the word 'lunacy' came from, or so Twilight said. Went on about it being an example of insti-tooshun-alized bigga-tree, and some nonsense to do with the Bus of Languages. Or maybe it was the bias of language. Not sure. All Applejack really took away from the conversation was a whoppin' headache and the urge to leave a night-light on when she went to bed.

Now, being a straight-forward sort, the farmer was currently fine, of course. Tizzies weren't her style. But being stuck in an empty room with a burlap sack full of bad memories for company wouldn't be pleasant for the nicest of fellas. Not by any means.

Besides, she wasn't the only one sitting in the dark.

Shivering like a leaf in a snowstorm, Rarity had crumpled down in her corner of the cell. "O-on his life and h-honor, he s-said." The white mare's eyes slowly began to fill with tears, as silent sobs wracked her frame. "I-I'm so s-sorry, Stonehoof! Y-You did everything Fancy asked of you, and I never even t-trusted you! How b-beastly of me!"

Hrm. Their resident fancy unicorn didn't look so good. They might all have been a bit shaken up, but some of them were more delicate than others. And by some of them, she meant one of them. Rarity. Applejack meant Rarity. Yep.

Hey, just trying to be clear.

"Oh man, oh geez, oh man, oh geez!" Rainbow suddenly wheezed, eyes dilated to a disturbing degree. "That guard totally crumbled out there! He didn't stand a chance! And … and we could be next! That big, magic, unicorn-dude could just barge right in here, slurping up our … whatever! Like freaking spaghetti! Holy moly!"

Right. Uh. Scratch that 'just-Rarity' baloney, it looked like everypony was slipping rapidly into some help-the-bugs-are-under-my-skin type of crazy. Time to take action.

"Hoy! Snap out of it! Rainbow, yer overreactin'!" She turned, aiming a fierce stare at the dressmaker. "An' you, stop blubberin'! Fer Pete's sake, calm down, both a'ya! Now, then. Alrigh'. Let's all think 'bout this calmly, okay? That li'l show back there was prob'ly jus' some smoke'n mirrors. Scare tactics, y'know?"

"N-no, darling. I'm afraid not." Rarity lifted a trembling hoof to her brow. "Acting Captain of the Royal Guard, First Lieutenant Stonehoof, has suffered a most grievous injury. His magic is completely and utterly gone."

Applejack felt a bit nonplussed at the declaration. Actually, it was even kinda insulting. No need to be so dramatic about a condition that the farmer was born with, was there? That was just rude. "Uh, is havin' yer magic chomped on really so bad? Ah'm hale'n hearty, an' a hunner'd percent earth-pony t'boot. Last Ah checked, Ah was magic-free. T'ain't so bad a life. Not like yer missin' somethin' important, like yer tail. Now that'd suck." Her eyes slowly narrowed as a stray thought pinged across her mind. "Anyhow, why're ya so sure 'bout all this? Aren'cha blind?"

The seamstress sighed theatrically and ignored her last question. "Applejack, dear, magic isn't just for unicorns and pegasi. Everypony needs magic to survive. Even you have magic. It's an oddly undernourished core of what looks like very pure earth-pony energy, but it's there. I can see it." Rarity's voice began to trail off, as the mare's attention wandered. "Actually, it seems to look rather like a puppy, for some reason. Well, I suppose that's better than Blueblood's magic, but why a puppy? Hm. Startlingly lifelike, how strange. I wonder what that means?"

Okay, this was just getting silly.

"Rarity, yer wearin' a napkin on yer face. You won't see nothin' like that, let alone invisible dogs," the rancher pointed out, blunter than a barrel of winesaps.

"Alright, yes. It's true, I may have gone inexplicably blind. There's no denying that," the unicorn tetchily admitted. "But what I can see now is more than enough to make up the difference! Gemstones talk to me, Applejack! Crystals sing to me!" Rarity swung her hooves open, gesturing outwards at the walls of their little room. "I can't identify colors, now, not with my eyes. But if there's a jewel nearby, I can hear everything around it. No wall can stop it. No shadow is dark enough to hide from it. I can hear the song of the world, and magic is just another chord in the symphony!"

"Huh." Applejack raised an eyebrow. "Neat."

"Yes, despite our predicament, I'm rather enjoying it. By the way, may I pet your puppy-magic? It's simply adorable."

The white mare didn't seem to bat an eyelid while giving the weird request, but heck, it wasn't like Rarity's eyelids were exactly visible at the moment. Maybe batting was taking place. Maybe Applejack didn't know what 'batting' an eyelid meant. Maybe, maybe. Whatever. Answer the crazy lady.

"Uh … okay?" Yes. Good job, Applejack. That was sure to placate the basket-case in front of you.

Hmm. Well now. Sure enough, there went Rarity, stroking away at the air like a madmare. Should she … say something? That might be a bad idea. Maybe she should wait for Rainbow to interrupt. Of course, usually, that would have happened by now. Where was that pegasus? Oh. Oh, there she was. Gibbering in the corner.

Wow, wasn't this all just swell? Fantastic. Good to know.

Okay. Applejack had to keep the side up for the not-nuts-yet faction. It was a losing battle, but she'd fight to the end, so help her.
That's right. Keep your chin up.
Go team.

"Hold on." Dash gulped audibly, her face pale and skeletal in the dim light. "So that guard-dude … he's dead?"

Rarity tutted thoughtfully. Thankfully, the unicorn had to stop that whole imaginary-canine-friend nonsense to answer. "No, but he will be soon, darling. I'd give him a week at best, a few hours at worst."

At this point, Applejack couldn't help growling. "But why?" she stressed. "I don' get this at all."

"… Ah. Magic … magic protects us all, my dear. Watch. I'll give you an example." The sightless designer grunted, a fierce look of concentration visible underneath the blindfold. In response to the spell, one of the nearby rocks glowed a pale blue, and bulged unnaturally, puffing up into the rough shape of a gaudy-looking diamond.

"Uh. Your point?" The apple-farmer poked the jewel. Not much happened. Some explanation this was.

"My point," the dressmaker puffed, wiping at the beads of sweat on her brow. "—is simple. What will happen to the diamond when I release the spell?"

"Hm." Glancing down at the gemstone to gather her thoughts, Applejack began to feel a mite nervous. This was way too close to an exam for her to feel comfortable. If she recalled correctly, this particular Apple hadn't been the best student, back at Ponyville High. Or even a good one, really. Her talents were oriented more in the direction of farming. Specifically, apples and apple-accessories. Hence the cutie-mark.

Okay, mare up. You can do this. Just blurt out the first thing that comes to mind.
That'll have to do.

"It … nothin'? It dun' change?" The rancher shrugged helplessly, well out of her depth. "Look, Ah dunno. Ah'm not exac'ly a magic expert, here."

In reply, Rarity's horn stopped glowing, and the diamond popped in a glitter of sparkly shards, revealing a dull rock standing in its place.

Dammit.
Wrong again. Should've guessed.

After getting her breath back from the demonstration, the unicorn smiled wryly. "Sorry, darling, but quite the opposite. Magic, you see, is everywhere. And it has the tendency to … hold on, for lack of a better phrase, to whatever it touches." Rarity hesitated, gnawing her lip as she looked for the words to explain. "So, when … something is changed or transformed by a spell, the internal magic of that object remembers what it once was. And eventually, the external effect – the transforming spell – has to weaken, just like mine did. As soon as that happens, the inner 'image' reasserts itself on the world, reversing all the changes that have happened since then. Diamonds turn back into rocks. Carriages, to pumpkins. That's why permanent transformations are so rare and interesting, you see. Fighting the living memory of something magical is usually a losing battle for a mortal mage."

Okay, that sounded ridicuous. Applejack had a counterexample, too. "But, uh, Twiligh' turned apples int'a oranges! Remember, back when Pinkie was cloning herself? Those apples stayed oranges for weeks, at least!" Yeah, that was a terrible day, what with her barn being destroyed again. And it still made her a little mad that the librarian would try to waste apples like that. Applejack's amazing red produce was obviously far superior to those stupid, citrus-y pretenders! Blasphemy, it was. They might have both been fruits, but the two were nothing alike. It was like comparing apples and … uh. Hm. Yeah, exactly. See?

"Oranges?" Rainbow mused. "No, I'm pretty sure that was a frog she zapped. Or maybe a bird?"

Rarity waved off their comments. "Oh, I'm sure that Twilight is capable of long-lasting Distortions. The mare has more energy than she knows what to do with. She just can't make permanent ones. Hmm, yes, if I recall, Extended Transformation was one of her thesis topics last year, so it make sense that she'd try to get it to work. From what I understood of the work, if you use a complex series of Power-Distortion paired runes, you can theoretically make the spell last for as long as those runes have power." The dressmaker paused, bringing her head back out of the clouds. "But nothing lasts forever. Not even Twilight can get around that."

Applejack cleaned out an ear with her hoof. "So what?"

"Oh yes. Well, all this is only true if you have magic, Applejack. Without a sufficient internal supply of the stuff, your identity can be … dissolved. If this rock," the unicorn kicked the pebble in question. "Had held no magic within it, it would have stayed a diamond. Permanently. That means that, without magic, simple transformation spells can become permanently lethal. And you must remember, the world has ambient magic all of its own. Even if you never get hit by a spell, even if you never try to leave your house, the world seeps into you. You start to just … fade away, with time. You become part of the world. It sounds poetic, but it's an unpleasant fate, to say the least. As far as anypony knows … when someone without magic vanishes, they simply cease to exist. So that is the fate soon to befall poor Stonehoof. He's going to disappear."

Rainbow looked like she'd been punched in the gut. "Oh my gosh!" she squeaked hoarsely.

"And Blueblood?" Rarity thinned her lips, her face drawing gaunt in clear disgust. "That horrible, despicable stallion didn't even hesitate at all. He knew exactly how to pull out that power. The thought is repellent to me, but I am certain of it. Stonehoof's sacrifice was not the first time Blueblood has eaten that kind of … meal. All I have left to wonder is how many ponies the King has sentenced to a slow and painful death."

Nopony felt like adding on to that statement, oddly enough. Only the sound of Dash slowly hyperventilating penetrated the inky gloom of the prison cell.

"Look, … okay. Let's say yer right," Applejack broke the silence. "There's no way the big guy'd be able to hush everythin' up if a huge bunch'a ponies got sent to the hospital, or whatever. City-types are massive gossips. Can't keep their traps shut. So where the heck has he been stuffin' them, then? Where are these dyin' ponies?"

"Um, guys?" Dash turned away from them, looking at the ground.

Rarity raised a hoof to respond, but as the farmer's statement registered, her cloth-covered brow creased in what could only have been confusion. "That, I … do not know. A valid argument, I must admit."

"Guys?"

Bah. No time for your nonsense, Dash. It was Applejack's turn to lecture!

"Besides, Blueblood ain't no villain, not really," she continued, perversely happy to have the spotlight for once. "He's jus' a bit stuck-up, right? Full'a himself. But hey, so's Rainbow, an' she clearly ain't villain material. On top'a that, where's the sense in Mister Personality goin' around eatin' all his best honchos? Or, if he really did take that sturdy-lookin' fella's energy, who's to say he didn't give it right on back after we left? He got what he wanted. After all, we're stuck coolin' our hooves in the dungeons, while he chows down on frilly pastries an' gets t'sleep in silk pajamas."

"Yes, yes, I cannot refute your logic, Applejack. I …" The blind unicorn sighed. "Fine. Maybe you're right. It's possible that I may have been blowing everything out of proportion. I must offer my apologies. Really, I did not mean to become so hysterical."

Rainbow finally blew her top at the lack of attention. "Oi! Guys!" she shouted, ruining everyone's hearing.

"Pardon?" Rarity cocked an ear towards the pegasus. "I'd answer, but I can't seem to hear you over the incessant ringing you just forced upon me. Thank you, by the way. I appreciate not being able to see or hear. It's very relaxing," the unicorn sarcastically drawled.

"Sorry, it's just … ugh. You … you might wanna take a look at this." Dash stepped to the side, allowing the other two to see what had grabbed her attention. Down in one of the lower corners of the cell was a hole in the floor, just a few hoof-breadths wide. It gleamed with a faint, internal light, as it pointed down into some sort of strange, lit-up, crystalline cavern. Not nearly a big enough passage to escape through, but easily big enough to see through.

But what they saw made Applejack wish that it had been just that little bit darker.

"Oh dear," Rarity whispered, before swinging her head around in a shallow circle, obviously seeing some seriously unpleasant things through the rock. "Applejack, dear? Applejack?" The unicorn turned, and clicked her tongue when the farmer didn't respond.

"Yeah?" the earth-pony mumbled distantly, unable to tear her eyes away from the awful sight below.

Her dress-designing friend lifted her nose. "I'd like to retract my previous apology," she said. "Not that I don't think you had a point, darling, but Blueblood is even more loathsome than I had thought. And believe you me, that's certainly saying something."

"Yeah. Okay, gotcha. Bad-guy." Applejack swallowed nervously, before shuffling away from the hole until her flanks bumped back into the far wall.

She scrubbed at her eyes, at the sight that had burned into her memory. Much as she'd like to think otherwise, there wasn't no coming back from that kind of villainy. And, more to the point, they were trapped in the same building as the stallion that had done that. They were running out of time.

"Aw, pig-manure," she lightly breathed. "Well, we're in a right pickle, aren't we? Funk."