//------------------------------//
// Treacherous Swine 
// Story: The Friendship Mafia 
// by FlareGun45 
//------------------------------//

We went over to the junkyard, because that’s where the pig hangs out in. He does his inventions in a mysterious trailer in a junkyard. We went over to the trailer and knocked on the door.

An eyeball camera activated on the trailer, and stared right at us. The voice on the intercom snorted and said, “Yes? Can I help you with something?”

“Dr. Porker Swinebutt.” Blueberry said. “The only true doctor without a PH.D.”

“Blueberry Pie, the most popular mare in school. What brings you here?” Swinebutt asked.

“We have a deal for you.” Blueberry said.

“I’m listening.” Swinebutt said as he snorted.

“To stop your bullying problem. To make you a sensation in our school, and probably all of Equestria.” Blueberry said.

Swinebutt was silent, and after a few moments he deactivated his camera. “Well, don’t say we didn’t try.” I said, as I assumed he wanted us to leave, but I was wrong. He opened the door. He was a short little piglet with a cute labcoat on.



I started laughing. “You think this little piggy is going to be able to help us? He’s a shrimp!”

“Watch your tone, boy.” Swinebutt warned me as he… places his pinky near his lip?

“Threats can’t hurt me. Why don’t you go wee-wee-wee all the way home?” I teased. Swinebutt took out a laser gun and shot me with it, and turned me into a duck.

“Go ahead, say something else! Push your luck!” Swinebutt yelled.

“QUACK! Ok, ok! I get it! I was acting dissff-picable. I’m sorry.” I said in a Daffy Duck accent. Swinebutt shot me with the laser gun again, and I turned back to my regular pony self.

“Come in.” Swinebutt offered. Blueberry and I followed the pig inside his trailer, and I gotta say, it was like Doctor Who in here.

“Wow, this place is bigger on the inside!” I said shockingly.

“Yeah, pretty uber isn’t it? I just found it here, lying around in the junkyard. Don’t know where it came from.” Swinebutt said. We both followed him to a room with a bunch of blueprints, maps, and prototypes. “Come, sit down.” He said, and as I was just about to sit down, I just flipped the first switch I saw, and I got electrocuted. “And don’t touch anything.” He added. As my body was burning to a crisp, I sat down next to Blueberry and across from Swinebutt on a table.

“So you wish to help me out with my bullying problem, huh?” Swinebutt snorted and asked.

“Of course!” Blueberry said.

“Well, I was already working on an invention to help me out with that, but I suppose I can do with the time. What’s the catch though?” Swinebutt asked.

“The catch is we just need you to befriend a certain colt at our school, have him earn your trust, then at the last second, stab him in the back!” Blueberry explained.

“Seems a little harsh, don’t you think?” Swinebutt asked.

“See? That’s what I said!” I complained at Blueberry.

“Shut up!” Blueberry mumbled at me.

“Look, I don’t have time for arguments. Just tell me what you want.” Swinebutt demanded.

“There’s this red unicorn, goes by the name of Crimson Flare Gun. His family and the Leafhorns have some history.” Blueberry said.

“Oh right, that story. The Leafhorns and the Guns. I know that story, and frankly, I wouldn’t help you out normally.” Swinebutt said.

“Oh.” I said.

“But this is history right here. Your history might be useful for my research. I never befriended a pony and stabbed them in the back before.” Swinebutt said.

“Exactly! Do this, and you can get all the friends you want! You’d be the most powerful pig in Equestria!” Blueberry said.

“Sounds perfect! Good to have a reputation before I start up my future company: Swinebutt Industries.” Swinebutt said. “Okay, Blueberry Pie, you got a deal! I’ll help you in your little prank. What’s your name?” Swinebutt looked at me and asked.

“Herb Leafhorn, Jr.” I said.

“Ah, right. You’re the son of the principle. That should make things a little easier. He’s a harsh principle. It’s a good thing I chose the right side!” Swinebutt said.

“Right! So we get started when the next school year starts?” I asked.

“With pleasure! I’ll have to get things all planned out though. Maybe we should lure him to me. On the first day of school, pick on me. Any fool whose despite for a friend would defend me. Perhaps that’ll be perfect.” Swinebutt suggested.

“Sounds like a clever idea!” I said.

“Right. Now don’t screw this up, Herb. This may be your best chance of getting what you want.” Blueberry reminded me.

“Thank you for your help, Blueberry.” I said.

“Hey, I’m into evil ponies. I like your style Herb Leafhorn. I always thought your family was the superior one.” Blueberry said as she rubs her hoof against my neck and looking at me seductively.

“I have a marefriend.” I informed her.

“I like stallions that are already taken!” Blueberry said. “So evil of them to betray their own special somepony! I like it!” Ok, this mare was starting to freak me out.

So after the meeting with Swinebutt, I went on home to rest, but when I opened the door, my brother Autumn was standing in my way.



“Get out of the way, bro!” I yelled.

Autumn smiled mischievously and said, “My brother, you’ve been away for a while. I hope what you’re doing is what supports the family.”

“It is. Now, I’m in no mood to talk right now, so if you excuse me.” I attempted to move around him, but he kept blocking my path, giving me the evil grin.

“It would be shame if you were doin’ something that involved gettin’ help. That ain’t the case, is it?” Autumn asked.

“No, and what I do on my free time is none of your business, Autumn! Now move it!” I yelled as I shoved him out of the way and went into my room.

“We’re watchin’ you, Herb! Be careful of what you do. You’ll certainly regret it.” Autumn warned me. I get really annoyed by Autumn a lot, but I believe he picks on me because dad always paid more attention to me than him.

School started finally, and it was time to take our plan into action. The guys and I met up with Swinebutt in the hallway. “Alright, good to see you.” Swinebutt said.

“Yep! Let’s do this.” I said.

“Y’sure you’re alright with this, man?” Angel asked.

“As long as my dad and Autumn aren’t watchin’, we’ll do just fine.” I said.

“What’s going on with, Autumn?” Annabelle asked.

“My brother is a rat. He’d try to tattle on me so dad would give him more attention, instead of me.” I said.

Swinebutt snorted and said, “Boys, pardon the interruption, but we have a job to do. Flare would be here any minute now so let’s get this done.”

“Right.” I said. So the three of us started picking on Swinebutt. We saw Flare walking in the hallway, and he spotted us.

“Swinebutt! Swinebutt! Swinebutt!” we all teased.

“I swear I will use all my mighty intellect to end you here and now!” Swinebutt yelled.

“Mighty intellect, huh, man? You may be smart, man, but you’re ugly and short, man, and you’re not even a pony nevertheless, man!” Angel said.

"It’s because I’m a pig right? Just because I’m a pig, that automatically means I’m presumed ugly?” Swinebutt asked.

"It’s a scientific fact, you piece of bacon!” Annabelle said to him.

“Ok THAT was low! Us pigs hate to be called that!” Swinebutt yelled at him.

“Oh yeah? Whatcha gonna do about it… porkchop?” I asked.

“You’re askin’ it for it now, buddy!” Swinebutt yelled at me as he places his pinky near his mouth again.

“You’re weak, man, and there’s only one of you, man, there’s nothing you can do against us, man.” Angel said.

“What’s a pig like you against three ponies like us?” Annabelle asked.


“Probably nothing,” Flare said as he joined in, “but what’s a pig and a pony against three lowlives?”

“Oh look who it is! Crimson Flare Gun! The brave pony that fought against Herb Leafhorn, Jr.” I greeted him. “How was your summer, buddy?”

“I’m not your buddy, guy.” he said to me.

“I’m not your guy, friend.” I said.

“I’m not your friend, buddy.” He said.

“I’m not your buddy, guy.” I said.

“Anyways, you had your chance to be buddies with me, brah, but that ship has sailed. You can pick on me, but pick on defenseless pigs and you’re really getting me aggravated!” Flare yelled at us. “No offense, umm…”

“Swinebutt. Porker Swinebutt.” Swinebutt said.

“Really? That’s your name?” he asked.

“Are you gonna tease me too?” Swinebutt asked as he snorted.

“No way, brah! You and me need to stick together.” Flare said. Looks like everything is coming to place!

“Aww how sweet!” I said in a cute tone of voice.

“Why don’t you two get married or something?” Annabelle teased as the three of them laughed.

“Really? You’re joking about sexism now? You three should be ashamed of yourselves.” Flare said.

“Well looks like somepony’s asking for a flagpole wedgie!” I threatened him.

“First off: no underwear. Second: I learned a ton of magic over the summer, so if you don’t want your hoof chopped off and me saying I’m your father, hint hint: hornsaber, I suggest you run off and don’t trouble us again!” he advised them. Annabelle and Angel got angry and started marching over to me so they could attack but I lifted my hooves out and stopped them.

“Ok, Crimson I hear you. We’ll leave you two lovebirds alone.” I insisted.

“Good.” Flare said. “Us lovebirds would love to be left alone.

“Really, dude?” Swinebutt asked in an annoyed tone.

“I’m just trolling them, brah.” he whispered to him.

“I hope you two become close because you both are gonna need it.” I warned him.

“Yeah, man, just watch your backs if you know what’s good for you, man, because you’re messing with the wrong man, man.” Angel said.

“Oooo I’m so scared.” he said sarcastically.

“You’re gonna be, Crimson. You’re gonna be.” I said as my friends and I all walked away. The three of us all chuckled mischievously as we walked away, because we knew Flare has fallen into our little trap!

So our job was a success. Now….. we wait. Over the years, I had to do a few pranks on both Flare and Swinebutt, but this was the only way to make sure dad didn’t think of me suspicious. I really humiliated Flare especially over the years, and so did Blueberry. My dad was quite impressed, and my brother felt even more suspicious than usual. 11 years went by, and Flare wasn’t seen that much after high school. I would’ve thought I’d scare him out of town already, but it wasn’t the case, we find out later. It started when we were talking with Swinebutt at his hideout.

“Ugh! My eye is killing me!” Swinebutt complained as he rubbed his eye.

“What’s wrong, holms?” Annabelle asked.

“I did an experiment last night, and my eye is starting to hurt!” Swinebutt said.

“Lemme see.” Annabelle said, observing Swinebutt’s eye. “Yeah, it does look like something. I can’t really explain it right now though. My mami’s a doctor, she can help. Best thing you can do is just leave it alone.” But to our surprise, Flare was standing right in front of us in shock.

“Porky?” Flare got our attention from the entrance of the junkyard.

“Oh, Flare! Uhh… hi.” Swinebutt said nervously.

“What’s going on here?” Flare asked. “Is Herb picking on you again?”

“Well…. Uhhh….” Swinebutt didn’t know what to say. He didn’t think it was time to betray Flare yet.

“Don’t worry, Swinebutt. It’s time we told him anyway.” I said to him.

“Tell me what? Porky, why am I so forty-five degree angle mouth face right now? What is Herb talking about? Is it about on Halo: Reach? Please tell me it’s information on Halo: Reach. I so want to play that game when it comes out!” Flare panicked.

“Well…. Flare…. I…. I can explain.” Swinebutt stuttered. “Ummm…. Actually…. I really can’t.”

"He never wanted to hang out with you in the first place, Crimson. He was our friend first. We figured if you were friends with our friend Swinebutt here, you'd tell him your secrets, so we can ruin you with them, but the main purpose is to make you lose confidence in yourself." I explained. “No one wanted to be friends with you in the first place, Crimson. You just have to face the fact.”

“THAT’S A LIE! A BIG FAT LIE! A BIG FAT GREEK LIE!” Flare yelled.

“It’s no lie. Tell him Swinebutt.” I said to him.

“Porky… is it…. Is it true?” Flare asked. Swinebutt looked down at the ground, but he had an extremely evil look on his eye. “Yes, yes it is!”
“But why?” Flare asked.

“To be honest, Crimson, you annoyed me half the time, and this was a way to get popular. I was being picked on too, more then you were, but when you came, you saved me from that suffering. You were very loyal, but yet so very foolish.” Swinebutt explained as he places his pinky near his mouth.

"You USED ME?!” Flare yelled.

“For my own purpose, Crimson.” Swinebutt said. “I had a choice. Either help out the Leafhorn family, or gain a life of misery.”

"So... you.... you used me! You betrayed me!" Flare cried.

“I didn’t have much of a choice.” Swinebutt said. “You Guns shouldn’ve taken this land from the Leafhorn family! What would’ve you done!”

“I’d choose a life of misery over double-crossing my friend ANY DAY!” Flare admitted.

“Well then you’re foolish, Crimson. A little foolish fool.” Swinebutt said. “Yeah that’s right, I called you little! Oh, and by the way, I spilled that lemonade on the floor on that Wizard of Oz play, not Herb!” Swinebutt began to laugh and snort
“So I did.” Swinebutt said, then we all laughed, but I couldn’t tell if I meant it or not. I felt a little scared too, because I was looking at Flare, and his coat color turned darker, and he had a very angry look on his face. I really didn’t know what I was supposed to do. From what I heard from my dad, he said when a unicorn is REALLY angry, and he learned several new magic spells, they could cause a chain-reaction, causing the unicorn to not control his or her magic, and can cause either certain destruction or injuries.

“Uh oh. Maybe we went a little too far.” I informed the others. Flare’s horn and eyes were glowing big time. I could see the disharmony flowing around him.

“Oh man, man!” Angel cried.

“YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS, SWINEBUTT!” Flare yelled at him. “I TRUSTED YOU! I DID EVERYTHING FOR YOU! AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME?! I TOOK BLAMES FOR YOU! I KNEW YOU WERE THE ONE THAT DID THAT ACCIDENT ON THE FLOOR AT THAT PLAY, AND I JUST OOK THE BLAME, BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT FRIENDS DO! BUT NOW THAT YOU BETRAYED ME, YOU RUINED ME, NOW I’M GONNA RUIN YOU!” Flare bursted to Swinebutt’s trailer and destroyed everything inside. Not even Swinebutt’s security system can stop him. He was able to hack the system and use it against us. I had the feeling we were going too far. I should’ve listened to my instincts.

“You…. You destroyed my years of research!” Swinebutt yelled at Flare.

“WELL YOU BETRAYED ME! YOU DESERVED IT, BUDDY!” Flare yelled at him.

“I’M NOT YOUR BUDDY, FRIEND!” Swinebutt yelled at him.

“I’M NOT YOUR FRIEND, GUY!” Flare yelled back.

“I’M NOT YOUR GUY, BUDDY!” Flare yelled.

“WELL I GUESS THIS MEANS WAR!” Swinebutt yelled. “I SWEAR, WITH CELESTIA AS MY WITNESS, I WILL NOT STOP UNTIL YOUR LIFE STAYS RUIN! YOU CAN’T RUN FROM IT! I’LL NEVER MAKE YOU REDEEM YOURSELF! IF YOU DO, I’LL TAKE IT AWAY FROM YOU! YOU JUST WAIT! I LOATHE YOU, CRIMSON FLARE GUN!” Although, something Flare might’ve done started happening. Swinebutt was struck by lightning by a mysterious storm that appeared out of nowhere. I guess Faust was really mad at him. Purple smoke spreaded around Swinebutt’s body; it started to get into my nose too, but I swiped it away and backed off. Flare was running away from the scene, and I thought I had to say one more thing before he leaves.

“YEAH RUN! Why don’t you make like a tree, and get outta here?!” I yelled.

"Will you not say it like that, man? It makes you sound stupid." Angel suggested. “Man.” 

“Holy shoot! We gotta get Swinebutt to the hospital.” Annabelle suggested. “I think a scar is starting to appear on his face.” And there was. Swinebutt had some sort of ‘S’ scar on his left eye. He opened his eyes right there and then, and… somehow I thought this wasn’t Swinebutt. I mean, yeah, it’s him. His physical shape and voice, but… he’s somehow… different. After he got struck by lightning, the strange scar appeared, and I felt that his personality has been altered with. I couldn’t stay.

“You guys go. I gotta….. I gotta go.” I said as I ran off. I started to get this strange feeling in my head. I was probably wrong to do this. I needed to go home and think this through, but before I got home, I got a text message from Cherry Pop, telling me to meet her at the club house. Normally, I wouldn’t be in the mood, but this is my marefriend we’re talking about. I went over to the club house and saw her glaring at me. “Uhh, hey babe!” I said.

“Don’t you ‘hey babe’ me, I saw what you did!” Cherry said to me angrily.

“I know what you’re thinking, and…. I was thinking it was wrong too. I think this family matter has gotten way over my head. I can’t do this anymore, Cherry.” I said.

“Well, you know what? I don’t believe you.” Cherry said.

“What do you mean you don’t believe me?” I asked.

“Your whole life is a lie!” Cherry said as she shoved a book onto the table. “Turn to page 238.” I did so, and I started to take a look at it.

“I don’t get it.” I said.

“What do you mean you don’t get it?!” Cherry yelled.

“I mean, you know well I can’t read!” I complained.

“Here, I’ll read it to you.” Cherry said, clearing her throat. “Hundreds of years ago, June 9th. The Leafhorns demanded the Guns to leave their territory, but the Guns begged for mercy and just wanted to find new land after the Disharmony Wars. The Guns tried anything they can do to share the land. They tried to pay them with everything they got, even Colonel Machine Gun’s pocket watch that belonged to his grand-grandfather, but the Leafhorns took the stuff and still refused to share their land, so the Leafhorns decided to declare war on the Guns. The Guns tried to reason with Weed Leafhorn the Great, but they wouldn’t listen. They tore down the walls and destroyed buildings in the Gun’s settlement.”
“The Guns were able to hold them back, and they were able to flee, all except Weed Leafhorn the Great. Weed couldn’t let the Guns take his land, so he wanted to end them all. Colonel Gun killed Weed Leafhorn in self-defense, and though it was thought victory to the Guns, it turned out the Jams owned the land, since they were the first there, and because of them, the feud was over.” Cherry explained.

I couldn’t believe it. She was right, my life is a lie. My own pop lied about our history. After all this, I thought the Guns were the evil ones, but they tried to reason with us. My family is the corrupted ones, not the Guns. I felt so guilty. Flare didn’t deserve this. He didn’t deserve ANY of my bullying. He didn’t deserve to be betrayed by Swinebutt and Blueberry Pie. He deserved way better than the way I’ve been treating him. He was right to be angry. “I… I didn’t know. My own pop…. He lied to me.”

“I can’t be with you anymore, Herb. Your family name is only just to ruin the lives of another family that just wanted to be friends with your family. That’s all your family wants is hate, and war, and disharmony. Goodbye, Herb Leafhorn.” Cherry said as she walked up and left the club house. I didn’t say a thing, I just let her leave. I didn’t deserve her. I couldn’t believe a thing. My mind is spinning. I spend hours at the club house by myself thinking of what to do next, and I knew exactly what to do. I’m going to go home, pack my things, and move out. I can’t be with a family that made me corrupted.

I walked on home, and snuck inside. As I was tip-hooving to my room, the lights went on and my dad was sitting right there, glaring at me. “You have the nerve showin’ your face around here, Herb.”

“Dad, you don’t have to worry about me anymore. I’m packin’ my things, and I’m leavin’.” I said.

“That’s not goin’ to happen.” Dad said angrily, as he started walking towards me.

“I-I don’t understand.” I said, walking backwards away from him.

He grabbed my jacket and pushed me against the wall. “I asked you to do one thing! ONE THING, and you disobeyed me for the last time!”

“And you said you’re goin’ to disown me, I know. I’m leavin’, and I ain’t comin’ back.” I said.

“Oh I’m not just goin’ to disown you. I’m goin’ to ruin your life!” dad yelled.

“My life is already ruined.” I corrected him.

“Not like that. I’m goin’ to lock you in your room, and leave you in there to starve. I’ll invite some of the boys over to have a little fun.” My dad said mischievously. “I hope mom remembered to give you insurance, because you’re goin’ to have the beating of your-“ but before he could finish, my mom knocks him out with a frying pan.

“Herb, you ok, sweetie?” mom asked as she gave me a hug.

“No, I’m not ok. I feel like garbage.” I said, hugging her back.

“We both do, dear. We both do.” She said.

“What do we do, mom?” I asked.

“Pack your things. I’ll make sure your father here doesn’t wake up, and I want you to run away. Run as far away from here as you can. There’s an apartment complex on the north side of town you can take shelter at, and you can get money by working at Galactic Studios theme park.” My mom instructed.

“But, mom? What are you goin’ to do?” I asked.

“First, I’m going to divorce your father, and I’m going to find someplace to go too.” She said.

“But can’t we stay together?” I asked.

“We can’t be together. Your father’s got contact, and if he chases us down, he’ll be able to get only one of us.” My mom said. “Son, there’s something you need to know. Your father is the don of a mafia. A disharmony mafia: The Sharks.”

“Wait… he’s the don of the Sharks?!” I asked surprisingly.

“Yes, and you have to get out of here. Change your name, change your appearance, and don’t look back.” Mom instructed me.

“Will…. Will I ever see you again?” I asked, getting all teary eyed.

“Of course you will. Now hurry, your father will be waking up any minute! Pack up your things!” my mom demanded. I packed everything I needed, said goodbye to my mom, and ran away as fast as I could. I had no idea where Autumn is though, but one thing’s for sure, he’s going to be taking dad’s side. I called Angel and Annabelle and asked them to meet me at the safehouse on the other side of town.

When I got over to my safehouse, it looked like a dump. There was a mattress on the floor, the kitchen had cockroaches, and the radio was playing heavy metal, the filthiest type of music out there. I felt relieved that the TV worked, but it was a small TV with an antenna. After a little while, Annabelle and Angel showed up. “Well, amigo, this ain’t the best place in the world, but I guess it’s better than home.” Annabelle said.

“You guys weren’t followed, were ya?” I asked.

“No, but Swinebutt’s going haywire. That scar on his face can’t be removed, but once he came to his senses, he started making blueprints.” Annabelle explained.

“Man, this is bogus, man! What happened here? Everything was supposed to be peachy, now everything’s turning into complete trash, man!” Angel complained.

“My whole life was a lie.” I said. “I ruined Flare’s life, but for what reason?”

“Herb, don’t be like that, holms. We can try to make things right. You’re your own stallion now. You’re free!” Annabelle said.

“Not completely free. My dad’s out there lookin’ for me. Since he’s the leader of the most powerful gang in the city, it ain’t goin’ be easy dodgin’ him.” I said.

“Well you have to do what you can, man. Make yourself a decent living. Wait for the heat to die down.” Angel suggested.

“It’s not goin’ to be easy though. I have to change my appearance. Tomorrow, I won’t be Herb Leafhorn, Jr. I’ll be….well, I haven’t figured out the name yet, but for sure, anythin’ beats bein’ a Leafhorn.” I said. So I settled down for a while. I changed my surname to Lore, Herb Lore, and I worked over at Galactic Studios on the Jaws ride. My dad hasn’t spotted me ever since, and I rarely talk to my mom. I haven’t seen my dad, nor my brother for a while though. I hope there’ll be a way to bring harmony into this city soon.