Lightning shattered through the landscape below, illuminating it just for a moment. A vast landscape made of stones, a couple of burnt trees. Our lands had been befallen by many plagues and our magic had not been strong enough to save what we had held dearly. My mind flashed back to the past. This valley once has been the definition of bright and colorful. The trees had bloomed and giant fields of flowers had delighted our broken hearts. It pained me to see my land having fallen so far. It was time to…
Suddenly everything was bright. Confused I tried to get back from whatever emitted the light, just before realizing that I was lying on a bed. Through my pathetic attempts of evasion I only got myself to fall out of the bed onto the cold wooden flooring. How had I ended up here? Where was here? It took a moment just to sort my mind. Yesterday… I have fallen down… I cringed when thinking back at that awful image. I had known I would never forget it. I stopped myself from thinking about it before the emotions would follow. What had happened afterwards? I had found a way out and then I had galloped home as far as hooves could carry. Then, I had ended up in… I looked around…
Yes… Yes! I knew this place! But why…?! It was not the place itself that made my whole body tense up, but the inability to recognize it. It scared me to the bone not having recognized this place at first. Maybe it was just because I was still so tired. But even though my consciousness tried to build new excused, my subconsciousness cringed with the bitter truth. I had not recognized my own home. My heart was already pumping as if I had just run a fifty miles marathon and my breaths had receded to occasional panting. I tried to tell myself this had just been an unfortunate mistake but deep inside a fear grew. The fear of losing my mind. STOP! This is all just my tiredness, nothing more and nothing less.
I slowly got up and trotted towards the door, pushing my heavy body forward every single inch. My gaze slowly flying over the spare furniture. The small old wooden chair we once bought an eternity ago because we actually thought we could need such a small chair. Turns out it doesn’t even take the weight of our son. The huge shelf. It had been a pain in the behind getting that thing here. We could not even get it through the normal door, so we had to take it apart first and rebuilt it once all parts were inside. That strange zebrican statue my wife adored. I hated it but it would have broken my heart to tell her. Sometimes you have to make compromises to make a relationship work, especially if that relationship will last until the end of your life. I had never been able to deny her wishes anyway. I had to smile as I remembered her comment about the modern interpretation of the ear rings as symbols for the hunger of foals in zebrica and how it was all overinterpretation. She had always said that the only thing the zebras had wanted to express was beauty. Lastly the mir…
A giant insect-like abomination stared at me out of empty eyes, looking deeply into my soul. A big grin slowly rose over its sharp teeth. Unable to move, I stood there watching gloomy eyes taking apart my soul. I stopped breathing and my heart stopped beating. It was a moment of complete fear and angst. Nothing moved except the mouth of the insect beast slowly opening as if to speak my name. I closed my eyes, unable to comprehend. My heart started beating again, but it seemed as if it tried to make up the missed beats. My breath turned into irregular panting. What was going on here?! I feared opening my eyes again, but I even more feared being attacked while having my eyes closed. When I opened my eyes, the beast was already gone, but what I saw in the mirror now wasn’t much better.
I looked at me, but there was something different with me. My legs… It was a strange mixture of disgust and disbelief. That could not be an image of me. That could not be a mirror! This is all wrong! My breathing sped up again, my heart pumping adrenaline through my body. I looked away, looked back at it but the image didn’t change. Nothing changed except the expression on my face. From sheer shock to fear. Fear of what could be real. Slowly my head tilted down getting slower with every hoof, not wanting to see what was down there. Fear of what could be down there. I forced my head further and further until I saw the truth with my bare eyes. This had to be a nightmare! This was all wrong! The legs I saw were pierced by holes over holes, making it possible to see right through them. My fear drove my body to move away, but how can you run from yourself?
What in all of Equestria had happened to me? How…? Why…? The questions in my head didn’t add up and each and every time I tried to answer one, already ten new questions buzzed around in my mind like a swarm of angry bees. However, soon questions arose which could not be overwhelmed. As if the swarm of bees tried to fight a herd of angry elephants. What had happened? How had it happened? Then, the questions started to get worse and worse.
How can you change what you are? How would anypony ever look up to me like this? What would I tell my wife, my son? Are there even words to tell your wife…? Would she understand? Would she continue loving me? Questions rumbling inside my head, each trying to gain predominance over the others. All the while, my face staring at what has once been my legs. The need to touch it growing with every single second.
It was so wrong but I couldn’t just not touch it! The curiosity slowly growing like the pain of a splinter. Like the itching of your nose when you can’t scratch it. You know it is wrong but the desire outgrows reason... I touched it. My skin felt like metal, like a carapace of some kind of insect. A cold smooth surface, completely stripped of any fur. My hoof slowly wandered down further down towards the gaping hole inside of my foot. The sharp border and then just nothing. A gaping hole in my foot, almost as big as the ball of fear that stopped me from breathing, from even comprehending what was around me.
No! This was all just another nightmare, another illusion of my sick mind created to torture myself. I stumbled backwards, trying to escape the image, but it was burnt into my mind. Wake up! Please, wake up! I didn’t wake up. Every single second going by was another second in which the realization sunk in deeper. Each and every single second I got a bit more desperate. I was almost thankful that I had found no one home. What in Equestria was happening? I sat back down onto my bed, not able to take my gaze off the mirror. I stood up again, unable to sit still while my legs were… like this. Imagine, your legs would turn into swiss cheese. How bucked up is that?
I was not sure what to actually do. What do you do in that situation? There is really not an answer to that. I was sitting on my bed unable to accept whatever that was. I was imprisoned in my home, not allowing myself to step a hoof outside. What if anypony saw me? That would be terrific! No, I would stay in here. However, what should I do? I decided to do the only logical thing: Waiting until I would wake up. This was all just a nightmare anyway. Holes in your legs, what a nonsense right?
I waited. And with every second of my wait my hopes dropped a little further. I got tired of waiting and yet I forced myself to stay calm and collected. Maybe if I would sleep, I would just wake up in my bed completely normal. Or maybe somepony had dropped something on my head while I had been in that shop. Maybe I was unconscious and they mugged me right now, right in that dodgy corner shop where I had found the statue of Turn Star, the best flyer in Equestria - The birthday present for my son.
It had smiled at me. I had never seen such a beautiful statue of Turn Star - the best flyer in Equestria in our time - ever before. It was so beautifully colored that the statue almost seemed to live and fly through the display window. It could have been the perfect toy! It would have been the best one in his whole collection. Never before had I seen such a majestic statue. Yet, it had been in some forsaken corner shop. An old shopkeeper had greeted me, one of the kind you immediately like. A bit rusty and slow but incredibly likable. He stuttered a bit when bringing out the words through his old lips, but his voice was deep and clear. He had only half of his mane left and everything was already desaturated. The desaturation of the color of your coat is quite a normal thing when growing really old. It is a slow process but a process nonetheless. This pony had to be hundreds of years old - well, not literally of course. Why the actual buck do I remember that old pony better than my own wife?! I hate my brain. I HATE it. I HATE HATE HATE… Okay. Calm down. Hush now, quiet now, it’s time to lay down your sleepy head. Okay. I think I am calm again. Let us continue:
I had dropped into my bed trying to deny all of what had happened, trying to forget it all. As you might have already have guessed, it didn’t get much better after burying my head in my blanket for some time. At some point I was startled by the sudden sound of a loud noise. It took me almost half a minute just to realize that I had fallen asleep at some point and the loud noise was actually a door opening and ponies coming in. My wife! My son! They couldn’t see me like that! No! I had to do something and I decided to do the only option I had in that moment: Escaping out of the window. Any other possibility would have lead me downstairs first and then they would have seen me. Right now, I could hide upstairs. But how long could I hide here? I couldn’t hide from them in their … our own home. I made the decision.
My heart was pumping and I felt like I had just broken into a bank or something. Although nothing of it all was my fault, I couldn’t get over it. I could never let them see me like this. My legs had not become any better. I made the leap of faith into the tree right next to our window in the first floor, hanging there by the tips of my hooves. As you might know, hooves aren’t really the best tools to grapple upon small wet leaves or thin flat branches. I fell down but luckily there is a bush right under the tree. Of course it hurt but at least they had not seen me. The small branches of the bush were covered in small thorns. Not long enough to cause any serious injury but enough to hurt like holy mother of Celestia. I wanted to scream and cry at the same time and yet I had to stay completely silent. I couldn’t risk anypony looking for me because they heard my screams or sobbing.
When I finally got out of the bush, I had to pull every single thorn out. Luckily I have magic for that! I cannot even imagine how it would have went if I had not had magic. Your mouth can only reach so far after all. Anyway, I made my way through the backyard of my house, just trying to get further away without getting seen. While still unseen I actually managed to make my way out of the village. I had to climb over many fences into many backyards. I made my way back down the street through the backyards until I finally arrived at the first houses. From there, I made my way into the bordering forest. The climbing was probably the most difficult task as some ponies were really distrusting each other. From small hedges to giant walls with barbed wire on it. Well, to be honest the fence with barbed wire happened to be the one dividing the garden of Sunflower Garden - That’s her name - and the grumpy old Deaf Smile. He was actually not deaf and he didn’t smile much either. I guess you could interpret the grimace he did, when finding you did something wrong, as a smile. And you could call him deaf since he never listened to anypony anyway. Sunflower Garden had some sunflowers in her garden, but not as many as you would actually expect from her name. Where was I again before going off tangent on names? Ah, yes.
I found myself in a similar situation again: Stumbling through a forest, although this time it wasn’t totally pitch black. Where should I go? What should I do? My stomach turned around as those questions returned. I felt anger and disgust, not sure how to cope with the situation. I was torn between those two feelings, unable to decide which one dominated. Where should I go? Over all the other feelings slowly arose one more terrific than any other: I felt lost. Not the meaning of lost as in not knowing where to get home, but actually lost in a way that I had lost my place in this world. I was displaced, disgraced. I could not return like this. I could not do this to my wife. I know she loves me and I know she would do everything to help me. And yet I could never stand her disgust when looking at me. It would crush my soul to see my love looking at me in disgust. And my son? How should I explain it all? No. There was no way for me home. I almost broke down in depression as I had that one idea: What if I could actually cure it somehow? Maybe it was like a disease? If it was just a bit similar to a disease, there would be a cure.
So how do you find a cure to something that you do not actually know? You go to a library and look it up of course. Except that it would be impossible to go to a library like this! So what ways are left? Well, my idea was going to a good friend of mine and asking him. And you may now ask: Why didn’t you tell your wife and decided to tell it your friend? Well, me and my wife have a different connection. A much closer one. I could have not told her even if I had wanted. I could not have taken the look on her face, forcing her to stand by my side even though her disgust would only grow. I could not do it. Not to my wife. However, my friend would just take it easy. Disgusted of course, but he didn’t love me. It was just a different connection.
So I turned back after stumbling through the forest for a while and went straight towards Silver Coil’s house. He was a brilliant engineer, creating fantastic contraptions you would usually only find in your dreams. He also had some mighty friends… For example a stallion called “Star Swirl the Bearded”. The “the Bearded” is not really part of his name, just something people are used to add. He is quite bearded after all, probably more bearded than anypony else. I had the pleasure to meet him once. Well, it was less of a pleasure and more of a meeting with some cranky old professor. Anyway, Silver Coil was really a great guy. He used to build engines of unseen size and complexity. Once he showed me a wheeled cart that could drive if you powered it by magic. Of course, the magic had to be conjured by 5 unicorns combined, but holy horse apples! A machine that drove only by the use of your magic. Magic, this ungraspable energy converted into actual rotation energy of the wheels. A conversion of magical energy through a machine - Something you didn’t see every day back then. I think he was one of the greatest engineers of his time. He would certainly find an answer.
“There is no answer, at least not from me. I have never seen something like that before. You should rather visit a doctor. All I could do would be to create something that would cover it up. Actually, just give me a minute.”
This was not what I had expected. Actually, I don’t know what I had expected. I had just come to his house, knocking on his back door. Luckily he had opened it and his first reaction had been instantly shutting the door again. Only after a minute or so, he opened again stuttering something about being sorry. He had been deeply disturbed but so was I. After a short introduction of what happened to me, I asked him what could cure this disease. No answer. Such a depressing thought. What if there was truly no answer? No! There has to be one! He said he had no answer, but that didn’t mean there was none at all.
“Here you go!”
He held some sort of shoulder pad up.
“What? What is that supposed to be?”
His expression changed from pride to mortification. Maybe I should not have asked…
“Well, those were supposed to be shoulder pads redirecting any surge of magic. The plating inside of them is made of heavy iron and I just cut off the conductors. Like this, they could just cover up…”
He began to work around my legs which was mostly uncomfortable. He accidentally poked into a hole which caused my leg to recede in reflex. Imagine there is a spider crawling INTO your leg. Now you know how creepy that feels. It is the most disgusting and disturbing thing to happen.
“I just don’t know what to do with this.”
He looked up to my face! No! Nonono! Nooo! Pushing him aside I made my way through his living room and into the kitchen. No! No! This was my nightmare! This was all just a nightmare! Oh no. I closed my eyes, waiting for the image to disappear. Yet, when I opened them again the same monster stared at me. He looked like an unicorn, only his horn… I closed my eyes again, a tear slowly dripping down. Why on Equestria me? Only because I had been a bit tardy when buying the present of my son? Was this some cruel joke of fate? I had tried to deny it, tried to keep it away from my mind. However, with every single second it just kept crawling a bit closer into my consciousness. Now, it reached a point where I realized, that it wasn’t all a nightmare. It was all real! I tried to contain my tears. Not here and not now. I turned around, Silver Coil staring at me in pity. I didn’t need his pity! Yet, I felt the shame slowly crawling into my face, making my eyes wet. I started walking in circles. One one hoof, to bring my thoughts into a clear direction. On the other, simply to calm me down.
“You will have to go to a hospital. There is just no way around it. For now, let me just cover it up.”
I did not even answer, not knowing how to react. My mind was turning and turning and turning. My wife returned and then my son and then the thorns and the image of skulls in blood. I stopped.
“Stop acting like a foal and let me patch you up. The doctors will know a cure. I am sure. Actually, I am going to just get Star Swirl here.”
I blinked. Had I just misheard that? Star Swirl here? Why in Equestria would Star Sw…
“Of course he wouldn’t come for no reason. You would have to allow him to study it. However, then you could be sure for him to find a cure. If he doesn’t find it, there is none.”
That actually sounded reasonable. For as long as ponies knew, there had not been such a genius as Star Swirl. He had created the amniomorphic spell, the creating of impulse through use of magic and discovered the elemental field of magic. Furthermore he had created the general theory of supra-interaction. If he did not find an answer, truly nopony would. I was still not fully convinced, but the idea did not let go of Silver Coil. He called Star Swirl in an instant. They had actually developed a device that would make a light blink in each other’s house from their own home. We waited for almost a minute, when our light began blinking too.
“Usually this is for great new inventions. He should be - depending on his interest - arrive in today’s evening or tomorrow. He usually doesn’t want to wait to see new inventions.”
“Since when am I an invention?”
“Well, your state is certainly out of any ordinary, isn’t it? There is no way this is normal or even discovered. We might be on the brink of discovering something completely new here. Imagine all of the possibilities this could bring!”
“What should anypony get by having holes in their legs?”
“Well… That is not the matter. The matter is the research of a new phenomenon. Did you know that you can actually create medicine from a fungus?”
“What?”
“Yes! Not everything that seems wrong has to be necessarily be bad. We could find a new armor plating. Just look how hard your hooves are.”
To my great displeasure he had to kick against them with his hoof, making a dull clang sound, almost like ringing a bell or hitting against heavy armor.
“Just look at that horn of yours. Not only is it covered in a similar substance as your legs, but it seems to also have grown bigger.”
I looked at the mirror and could only make out the same monster staring back at me. Some monstrosity, not a pony anymore but a mishap of nature. I wanted to say something and yet no words came out. It was my only chance after all… The research would be terrible, they would not let go of me. However, if that would mean being cured, it would be well worth it. I moaned, but I didn’t talk back.
“We should test it right now! Has your magic also grown? Or is that shell preventing you from casting?”
I almost answered: “I am not in the mood”, but then I remembered the desperation. What would I do without their help? Stumble through dark forests until the end of my life? No, I had to do this even if it would mean a painful time. I decided to just give it a go, even though I was not in the mood for it. A little bit angered by his pressure, I created a small charge of electricity that should shock him for a good laugh. Instead of a small charge, nothing came out. I tried again with more magic and yet there was nothing. Suddenly, it all bursted out. A giant discharge or electricity, surging through the room and finding the path of least resistance, which happened to be Silver Coil. I was shocked for a moment, unable to move. Silver Coil slowly fell down almost as if in slow motion. After the initial shock had passed, I galloped towards him. He was still breathing. A sigh of relief slipped my lips. I only now noticed that I had held my breath for the entire time. My breathing was heavy and discontinuous. I had nearly killed him! Holy horse apples! This was not a state to experiment on. This was not simply a sick joke. This was dangerous.