Huh, what is that smell?, I thought. It smelled like carrion. I looked down.
There was a Gila monster in her broom closet.
Equestria Daily Pre Reader said:
I found problems with:
External links
[...]
Embedded images
[...]
Several screenfulls of blank lines at the end
So I'm taking them out, and putting them here, because I like my links and pictures. No offense at all to EQD; I understand they try to maintain a more serious and professional tone. Without further adieu:
She told me, in that deferential way she says almost anything, that she was sure that now that I was a princess, surely I could find somepony to professionally tailor me whatever attire I wanted. [...] Not wishing to cause a scene or upset a princess, she relented. I also told her not to call me Shirley. See, I can be funny occasionally.
Links reference famous line from the movie Airplane.
Winter Wrap Up had occurred last month, and now the sky was clear as an ice fish's blood.
Ice fish have clear blood because their blood lacks hemoglobin.
So anyway, Fluttershy came back from her not-really-a-kitchen with a cup of tea for me,
Go read that story the link goes to. It is a wonderful little comedic slice of life story told from Fluttershy's point of view that explores how she in fact doesn't have a kitchen (in the show).
Huh, what is that smell?, I thought. It smelled like carrion. I looked down.
There was a Gila monster in her broom closet.
I'm keeping that picture, I feel it's pretty integral to the story.
In the wild, Gila monsters spend 90% of their time underground in burrows or rocky shelters. So with a few toys and a water bowl, she's a pretty happy camper in there. And here is another fact for you, Twilight "I love facts" Sparkle: The Gila monster feeds primarily on bird and reptile eggs, and eats infrequently (only five to ten times a year in the wild), but when it does feed, it may eat up to one-third of its body mass.
I probably should change that so that it isn't pure Wikipedia. I don't want to pull a Rand Paul.
What the... I think I'm going to be sick." I felt the bile rising in my throat, and with a look of determination swallowed it back down (Most ponies and horses can't throw up, but apparently us alicorns have that "gift", as apparently did the ponies who ate Pinkie and Applejack's "Baked Bads".
It's true you know.
A friend of mine who is a mechanic built him a prosthetic limb, and I'm proud to say that the fox is alive and well today."
Yeah, that one was a pretty stupid reference.
But then she cheered up again. “Well, I can teach you,” she squeed. I actually literally heard a “squee” sound, like she was a cartoon character or something. Huh.
But though it may seem strange to you, I assure you it is the customary greeting among Gila monsters.
Still not true.
Hepatic cancer? The gears in my head turned. Hepatic? Hepatic is Gricean for... liver right? It hit me.
"LIVER CANCER?!" I shouted.
Cancer sucks.
She told me when she was a little filly, her mother took her to see a musical, and one song more than the others stood out to her, and stuck with her to that day.
I actually haven't seen Children of Eden yet. 
Rest in peace Gabriella.
I had these two images after a long break after the story but before the author's notes.
