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// 3: Damn Bears 
// Story: Bring the Thunder 
// by Ze Guest 
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 Well, like I said before, I had nowhere else to go and - five months should be enough, right? So anyway, freakin' Ponyville. Who's stupid idea was this!? Now I'll admit, the town looks fairly nice but I just can't get over that damned name! Now would be a good time to take a look at this place, anyway. 

Seemed like any normal town, houses, a marked place, town hall,  stuff like that. But, now, now, now, a nice town has it's fair share of fools. Some wired pink mare who most likely broke out of the psychiatric center a little ways southeast. She... she was just strange. I mean you should have seen this crazy pony! Singing and trying to dance but kept tripping over herself. Appleoosa guy... you've been replaced. This is the strangest pony I've ever seen and hopefully won't meet. She looked up and waved at me and I went the speed of light! That was close.

I was lucky enough to be able to escape her sight because lord she was a demon. But anyway, the town seemed quite nice actually. And the best part was, no one knew who I was. So it seemed like I was in the clear. There was an apple orchard I walked past called " Sweet Apple Acres". Didn't really ring a bell, though. And at the edge of the forest that almost surrounded the place, there was a little cottage. The scenery was so nice it made me pop out a cigar and have a quick smoke to admire the place. But, of course, that didn't last long at all. About half a minuet later, there was a bear and it was chasing someone. And this bear was pretty frickin' pissed! And as for the mare getting chased, orange fur, nice face, not a bad body, a little to rock-hard, she even had a cute little cow-filly hat on. She seemed like she needed some help and, to be quite frank, I don't blame her. I stomped on my cigar so it might not get anything burned and prepared myself, this was going to be interesting.

The bear was just about to swat at her and probably kill her but Nope it's just Volt, and tackled that thing to the ground. Of course, this was going to be the only luck I get since I caught 'em off guard. I did take advantage of the moment though, I gave him a couple good shots in the chest which felt pretty bad ass, but now it was the bear's turn. He grabbed me and slammed me to the ground and slapped me across the face. I pulled in my hind legs and got him in the nose which gave me a few seconds to get my distance. I watched the orange mare run into the woods probably trying to run away. Bitch. I save her life and she runs the fuck away? and I honestly don't see anyone in the cold, dark woods who could possibly help her. 

As for the bear, he tried to chomp me but I gave him another roundhouse kick to the face! I got on top of him and rode him around a bit while poking him the eyes. I could snap his neck like I did with that changeling back at the Canterlot Wedding but let's just be clear now, It's a fucking ten foot bear! And besides if I tried now, I'd get flung off his back. The bear lied down and started rolling around trying to get me off which worked wonderfully. And he started slamming down on me. Oop! dislocated shoulder! Perfect. Once I had given up, Guess who showed up? And she had a friend. Problem was, this one looked as fragile as glass on a decorative window they have at the worshiping halls.

But turns out, she was pretty strong minded, and the bear was the opposite. She got the attention of the bear and gave it the most demonic stare I've ever seen and the bear stopped dead. Someone else came flying down and pulled me away and towards her. The one staring at the bear had yellow fur and the who pulled me away was lavender.  

The orange mare ran up to try and say something to me but I couldn't hear her, my ears were ringing badly. I had a little chuckle to myself, " Damn bears..." I forced out. And everything went black.