//------------------------------// // After The Fall // Story: Fade To Black // by BRBrony9 //------------------------------// Over the next few days, her friends visited regularly. She needed all the support she could get. They had to help her perform even the most basic tasks- she simply had no motivation. She was broken, shattered inside like a plate somepony had dropped on a stone floor. Emptiness filled her completely, except for a small spot at the back of her mind, which was taken up by a voice, a voice that kept repeating the same phrase. This was your fault. Though she tried to ignore the voice, she knew it was right. It had been her fault- this wasn't an accident, this was simple carelessness. She had been flying low so as not to frighten Applejack- but then she had wanted to show off. She wanted to impress her, as if she was trying to woo her for the very first time. 'Come on, let me do a loop!' She knew she was dangerously low for any kind of aerial maneuvers, but she thought she could handle it. She thought what she wanted Applejack to think- that she was so awesome, so cool, so daring, that she could do crazy stunts like that, like looping with another pony on her back at low level, and do it safely despite the inherent dangers. This was your fault. She hadn't even been drunk. It was pure showing off. All she had wanted to do was impress Applejack. That was all she had been trying to accomplish, not just by the loop, but by the whole thing. They could have just walked to the restaurant, like they usually did, but no. She wanted it to be memorable. She was distracted, and the most dangerous thing for a flyer is to get distracted. Concentration is key to safety, as they had always drummed into her at flight school. A matter of life and death, they said. This time, they were right. This was my fault. This had happened because of her. Applejack was gone because of her. She looked for some comfort, some solace to be found somewhere, anywhere. She found none. There was no other answer, no one to shift the blame onto. She had messed up, and Applejack had paid the price. Though she knew her friends would never dare say it to her face, she could tell that they felt the same. Twilight had seen them coming through her window in the library, and, visiting her in hospital on the third day, she told Rainbow that there was no way she could have avoided the library. 'That's not the point!' she spat. 'I shouldn't have been doing it in the first place! What was I thinking? I...I just wanted to impress her...' Twilight looked uncomfortable talking about it, and Rainbow Dash could tell that it was because she blamed her, almost as much as the Pegasus blamed herself. 'This was my fault,' she said quietly. Twilight looked startled. 'No, no...you mustn't blame yourself,' she said comfortingly, though her words sounded hollow to Rainbow Dash. 'Why not?' she asked. 'Who else is there to blame? I wanted to fly, I wanted to impress her, I was flying too bucking low.' Twilight grimaced. 'It was an accident, Rainbow. These things happen.' 'But it shouldn't have happened! I should have been careful! I messed up, and...now she's gone.' Though her eyes were now overflowing with tears, she continued to rant. 'It was all my fault. I can't blame anypony else because the blame is entirely on me!' Twilight shook her head slowly. 'No...' 'Well who? Who do you blame, Twilight?' she asked venomously. 'If you cast a spell badly, trying to impress somepony, and it killed her, who would you blame?' Twilight opened her mouth to speak, but didn't know what to say. 'I...it...it was an accident,' she repeated. 'No! It wasn't an accident, I killed her! It's all my fault!' Rainbow shouted. 'No...' Twilight said, putting her hoof on Rainbow's shoulder. She jerked it away, pain shooting through her broken foreleg as she did so. 'Get out,' she said. 'Just leave me alone.' Twilight hesitated. 'I said get out!' she screamed. Twilight left her alone without saying another word. She cried, yet again. The morning of the funeral was overcast, but by the time the mourners arrived the sun was shining through gaps in the clouds. Rainbow Dash had been released from hospital to attend, her wheelchair being pushed by Twilight. The whole Apple family were there, having come from far and wide to bury their loved one. Though she did not count them, Rainbow Dash guessed there must have been nearly fifty of them, plus all her friends from town. She could feel their eyes on her, their staring, blame-filled eyes. They knew what had happened, and they knew who was at fault. None of them said anything, of course, but she knew. Even Big McIntosh, normally a friendly face that she could turn to, was sullen and silent. He said nothing to her. Neither did Applebloom. No doubt rumours had been circulating the town about the accident. Some of them probably thought she was drunk, and some of them probably thought she had done a whole string of crazy maneuvers. It didn't matter what the townsfolk had heard, the underlying message was the same- it was her fault Applejack was dead. In a simple, touching ceremony, they buried Applejack. Each of her family members filed past the casket, and each one placed a photograph atop it, until its wooden top was covered with pictures of the mare who lay inside. Big Mac placed a wreath of apples atop it, and then they lowered her into the ground, saying goodbye for the last time. Rainbow Dash could do nothing but sob. This is all my fault. The mourners filed past her on the way out of the cemetery, many of them without even giving her a glance. For the first time in her life, she felt truly alone. They discharged her from hospital completely two days later. Unable to fly up to her home in Cloudsdale, Twilight offered her a room in the library. 'I...I can't,' Rainbow said. 'Thanks, but I can't stay with you.' Twilight nodded, understanding why. The accident. Fluttershy offered her a room, too, and this time she accepted. She told herself there were two reasons for this. First, Fluttershy was her oldest friend, from flight school. The second was that her cottage was on the very edge of town, away from the eyes and the gossip of the inhabitants. Fluttershy had prepared her spare bedroom to be as comfortable as she could. She had visited Rainbow's house and bought some of her things and decorations down; she had even given her the warmest, most comfortable bedclothes from her own bed. 'Thanks, Flutters,' she said, as she saw for the first time the extent to which Fluttershy had gone to make her feel at home. 'I mean...this is so kind of you.' 'Oh, it's nothing, really,' the shy Pegasus replied. 'It's the least I could do for my best friend.' She couldn't help the tears forming in her eyes as she heard that. Does she really still see me as her best friend? Even after I...killed Applejack? She started to weep, her body suddenly wracked by sobs. Fluttershy rushed to her side. 'What's wrong?' she gasped in concern. Through the tears, Rainbow Dash replied. 'It's all my fault...' Fluttershy looked confused. 'What is?' 'This...the accident...it...it was m-my fault,' she sniffed. Fluttershy shook her head vigorously. 'No! No, it was an accident. That's all it was. You didn't crash on purpose, it was just an accident.' 'But I let myself get distracted!' Rainbow moaned. 'I wasn't thinking...I knew it was dangerous, I knew. but I did it anyway...because I...wanted to impress her...' her voice trailed off. 'You didn't need to do that to impress her,' Fluttershy said quietly. 'She already loved you with all her heart.' Rainbow Dash let out a strangled sob. 'Don't you think I know that? But hey, that's me...that's me in a nutshell, right? it's never enough, I just have to go that extra yard every time. But this time...it was too far.' 'But it was just an accident...' Fluttershy said again. 'D...do you blame me?' Rainbow asked. 'What? N-no, of course not!' she replied. Rainbow could see in her eyes that she was telling the truth. She sobbed again. 'Well everypony else does.' Fluttershy looked close to tears herself. 'No they don't. They know it was an accident...' 'Yeah, an accident I caused! I saw it, I saw the way they looked at me at the funeral. Her family, they blame me. I saw it in Twilight's eyes. She blames me, and she should. It was my fault.' 'No...' 'Yes!' Rainbow shouted. 'Just leave me alone! It's all my fault.' She looked up, seeing Fluttershy's face lined with worry. 'Please,' she said softly. 'Just go.. I just want to be alone.'