//------------------------------// // Ambassador // Story: Spellbooks, Dating and Why Humans don't like the Arcane // by Emerald Oracle //------------------------------// "Discord, leave." Celestia said, her eyes shut and lips set in a firm grimace. "If you say so, honey bunch!" Celestia looked like she was close to bursting, "If you ever need me just call, 'Stud Muffin!' " Celestia stamped a hoof and Discord vanished into thin air. Twilight was blushing furiously and Luna seemed to not have noticed anything, still staring down Kenny with that strange look of joy and anger. Kenny, with the spirit of chaos out of the way, decided now, while everyone was distracted, to make a break for it. He took one tentative step back. Luna's eye's popped at that movement, and with naught but a slight forward tilt of her head she slammed the door and yanked Kenny in to a seat at the head of the table, directly across from Celestia. The noise brought back Twilight from her dirty thoughts, and Celestia from her fantasies of a hundred-and-one-ways to hurt a draconequis. Luna let out a satisfied 'harumph' and leaned back in her seat, eyeing Kenny all the while. "Well, I guess the first thing to do would be to ensure we can communicate. Do you understand what I am saying?" "Yes, he can." All heads turned to Twilight. She too was staring at Kenny, but unlike Luna her face was one of awe and mild surprise. "He is a human male. He is young, barely peeking out of adolescence. Maybe eighteen or nineteen years of age, and yet he is unlike any human I have met before." "Wait," Kenny cut in, shocked at the accuracy of her statements, "You've met other humans? Where?" "I met your kind when I crossed into the human world a week ago. A better question is how you have magic." Twilight said her eyes narrowing. She profoundly remembered that humans had no magical practice, instead using strange machines to do the seemingly impossible. Humans didn't use magic, lacking both horns and practice. Yet, this one had obviously used it to blow down a solid oak door. With fire nonetheless. What made him special? "Twilight, if this is a human like you say, wouldn't the question be how he got here? The mirror had closed itself off and not nearly enough time has passed for it to have been opened again. Plus, if the mirror had been reopened, how did he get here and avoid detection?" Celestia offered as rebuttal. Turning to Kenny, "No offense, but you're the worst at subtlety." "None taken." Kenny nervously replied, trying not to look back at the blue demigod leering at him. "Regardless," Twilight said, folding her hooves in front of her face, examining Kenny from over the top of them. "The guards do a full body search when they make an arrest. When I asked Shining he said they had found nothing but a glass and metal tablet, a small, empty, leather-bound book and the clothes on his back. Nothing else. So I beg you to ask yourselves, where did he get the means to create a fireball powerful enough to annihilate the cell door?" Celestia eyes widened as it dawned on her. She acutely remembered Twilight describing the complete lack of magic humans had. So where did the fireball come from? There could only be one logical answer, this human had access to magical powers. "I will find out." Everyone's' heads turned to Luna. During this entire time she had not said a word and ended up slowly fading into the background. All but Kenny had forgotten she was there. Once she had everyone's attention she stood up and trotted slowly over to Kenny. "Leave him here with me, and I guarantee he will spill out his secrets like a burst wine skin." Luna gave Kenny an almost predatory smile. Kenny was glad he had peed before coming here. Kenny was quick to speak up, "Now there's no need for that! I'll tell you all everything! Just don't leave me alone with her! Please!" Celestia grinned with her sister, "Well Twilight, let's leave Luna to her work. We'll be back in five Luna, try not to damage him too much." Kenny froze when he heard Celestia's words. He gave a girlish 'eep!' when he saw that Luna had silently crept closer to him when he wasn't paying attention. Celestia and Twilight left, Twilight mouthing 'sorry' as she closed the door. She wouldn't be able to shake the helpless look he gave her for several hours. "She won't really hurt him, will she?" Asked Twilight. Celestia chuckled and replied with more than a little humor in her voice, "No, Twilight. Luna was the best at psychological warfare back in the day. She'll be able to get everything with little more than some choice words." "Believe me, she won't lay a hoof on him." "I've already told you everything! What more do you want more from me!" Kenny screamed as he struggled at the magical binds that had firmly kept his feet and hands secured to the chair. Luna sauntered over to him, an unamused expression spread over her face. She clambered on top of him, chair and all, practically straddling him. She leaned her head into him till her muzzle was right next to his ear and whispered quietly in his ear, "You know what I really wan't don't you? I don't care why or how you got here. All I want right now is you!" "What the hell are you talking about?" Kenny was thoroughly freaked out by this point. He was pretty sure this was what rape was like. Rather than answer, Luna locked her lips with Kenny's. Luna melted into the pleasure of the intimate action, one she had not partaken in for one thousand and three years. When she had accidentally run into him earlier that day, the rough kiss had reawakened a part of her that had died on the moon. Kenny, in his part, was catatonic. His brain had been fried by the pure impossibility of what just happened. Luna pulled away when she had her fill. It had really been to long since she had been kissed and had relished the opportunity when it came. She took Kenny's look of shock as a compliment and released him from his restraints. She decided to give him one of the good rooms of the castle. Like the one next to hers. Yeah. Knowing Kenny would come out on his own eventually, Luna left to go find her Sister and Twilight, the human hadn't been lying when he said he had told her everything. "...So the book is keeping him here till it believes that he has had enough. If I remember correctly, the room next to mine is empty?" Luna finished off. After finding Celestia and Twilight in the royal lunch nook Luna had relayed Kenny's entire story to them. "Wow, poor guy." Twilight sympathized, "I still can't believe that a sentient book exists, much less that it could be so mean." "It is also sad that we cannot aid him in returning home," Celestia put in, "No one alive knows how to make such a portal to his realm of existence. He will have to stay here until such a time as the book allows him to remake the portal. Until then he will be our own little human ambassador." "Little?" Twilight said in a joking manner, "He's almost as tall as you! I don't call that little." Everyone enjoyed a small laugh at Twilight's comment, finally releasing all the built up tension from the day's events. Twilight caught eye of the clock, "Well would you look at that! Sorry, Celestia, but it's time for me to catch a ride home. Send me a letter anytime you want to do this again, alright?" "Of course Twilight, have a safe trip home!" Twilight left the room, and Celestia informed a guard of Kenny's new living arrangements. Then they the two sisters enjoyed the greatest past time ones as old as they can. Sitting there loving how they don't have to do anything yet. That's it. They had been doing just that, one occasionally smiling at the other, when they heard the shouting. "Sir, it is well known that the Princesses enjoy their private time-" "I DON'T GIVE A DAMN!!!" "Sir, I'll have to ask you to-" "SHOVE OFF!!" The door was promptly kicked open by a very disgruntled Kenneth. His eyes scanned the room till they fell upon the shocked faces of the two princesses. The guard came in behind him and said, "I'm sorry your highness, I tried to stop him but when I did he yelled, 'Fuck the Police' and tilted every painting he saw on the way here." Kenny's eyes finally landed on Luna, "YOU!!! Why in hell's name did you do that! I mean seriously! At least take me on a date or something first! You know what forget it! Celestia, your sister just made out with me! Against my will!" The whole room froze except for Kenny, who was panting heavily after his rant. Celestia whipped to Luna, "Is this true!?" Luna pointed a hoof at Kenny, "He started it!" "What the fuck did I do?" "Surely you remember the fleeting kiss we had in the hall? I thought you were showing your affection!" Luna said, a hint of sadness in her voice. "You call that face-to-face collision a kiss! No offense, but you need to find a boyfriend!" "Hold on," Celestia said, "Let's all calm down-" Then Luna started bawling. "Sister, what is wrong?" "HE *hick* DOESN'T LIKE MEEEheeheeee!!!!!" Luna got out between sobs. It was this moment the guard slipped out. "I'm sorry Luna, but borderline rape isn't how you woo men back home." Kenny stated, "If it makes you feel any better, I don't think any less of you for this. You're too damn cute for me to stay mad at. I'm sure you'll meet some dude who will be able to love you and all that jazz. Just not me okay?" Luna pulled herself together and gave a curt nod. She then looked at him with her tear filled eyes and asked, "I'm sorry for sexually assaulting you, it's just well..." "What?" "I think this only happened because I was in heat." Kenny was honestly confused, "What?" "Her hormones are on high right now." Celestia explained. "Luna was always a late bloomer during mating season." "Wait, WHAT!?"