My Very Little Ponies

by Yonah21

A gift

Taking a bus in Seattle is not exactly the first thing I wanted to do when I got back to the states. Oh sure, the busses used to be nice, but in my neighborhood, they have long since gone downhill. Stupid budget cuts.

Even during my time in Israel the busses ran much smoother. Some of the many things I liked about my trip there was the food, the hospitality, and the amazing beaches. Though sadly there was one thing I missed the entire time I was there.

And that very person seems to be calling me. Her number is the only one who sets off my Doctor Who ring tone when I get a call. With an eager grin I take out my cell and start talking at once.

“Hi lovely, how was your trip?”

“Awesome, as I expected it would be. It was perfect."

“Aw, you didn’t miss anything about the states?”

“Well I might have missed one lovely lady."

“Heh, good answer."

“I thought it was. I am awesome like that."

“And it seems you brought your ego back with you. That is not something I missed about you my dear Micah."

“You wound me Leah. You knew the moment we met in shul that it is a package deal. You get my smarts, my good looks, my gentle nature and my never ending love. In return you put up with my ego, occasional tardiness to dates, and”-

“Your baldness?”

Oh. Oh no she did not bring that up!

“I am not going bald! I have hair on every inch of my head!”

“Hehe, maybe but there is a lot less right above the forehead, baldy."

“Shut it. I am taking hair vitamins and getting treatment for that. Soon I will have enough hair to put Legolas to shame."

Though I hate, it she is right. It has been thinning a bit and boy she never lets me forget it. That new stuff I am taking better do the trick, otherwise I don’t think she will ever let up on me about that.

“Yeah yeah, keep telling yourself that, whatever makes you feel better."

“You are evil."

“Oh? Will you still think that even after you open the gift I sent you?”

“You? You bought me a gift? The cheapest person I know? You are the sort of person that Jewish stereotypes of money are based on!”

“Now it is your turn to shut up. When you get home the package should be right outside your door. I would have given it to you in person but the hospital is working me ragged, a lot of people got hurt in the storm a few days ago. Odd thing is that storm came right out of nowhere, sunny one moment stormy the next. Weather here in Seattle is weird as hell isn’t it?”

“Yes Miss Obvious, it is very weird”. And finally the bus gets close to my apartment.

Baruch Hashem, finally! I can get inside and rest!

“Well Leah I would love to continue this conversation but I am almost home. Got to get off the phone and carry my stuff inside."

“Alright. See you day after tomorrow like we planned?”

“Of course. This long without seeing my girlfriend, I am oh so eager for your attention."

“And you shall have all the attention you can handle. See you then love." Right before she hung up I could hear that lovely smile forming on her lips.

“See you then." Quickly turning off my cell and sliding it into my pocket, I grab my suitcase and backpack and practically run off the bus as it stops, heading straight to my apartment building.

Ok, first order of business, get inside and strip down to something more comfortable to sleep in. That flight was way too long for my liking. Though knowing Bonnie and Clyde they will probably bother me nonstop till I do what they want. Why don’t I just get rid of those two? If they were not so low maintenance I would have tossed them out years ago.

Walking up the stairs though my mind wanders back to the mention of Leah’s gift.

I wonder what it could be. She knows everything I like so it could be anything. Maybe tickets to the premier of the new Hobbit film? Maybe the original versions of episodes 4-6 of Star Wars? Or if she is just being mean she could have bought the crappy prequel films. I pray she didn’t do that.

But I will find out soon enough. Good thing about my apartment is that it is only on the second floor. I can’t imagine walking up five or four stories. Though if I was in an apartment with that many wouldn’t there be an elevator? Eh, doesn’t matter. At least I am finally-

“Come on! Can’t you get through it?!”

“I’m trying! I think I am almost there!”

“Ugh, why did this have to happen today of all days?”

“Quiet y’all! Ah hear someone comin’!”

Ok, why the hell did those voices sound so familiar? I know I have heard them somewhere before, but where?

Or did I hear them at all? The second I turn the corner there is nobody in sight. And it had to be close because the voices were quite clear and loud.

“Oy vey, mental note. Move to a new neighborhood as soon as I can. This place is a little too weird for me."

But enough of that, I see my package! And it seems to be rather decent sized. I wonder what Leah put in my package.

And I just realized how that could be interpreted in an all too dirty manner. I should stop thinking like that.

“Might as well just get this inside. Sooner I do that the sooner I can rest."

Though before I do I make sure to tap the mezuzah before entering, as always. Can’t forget that. Wouldn’t be a good Jew if I forgot to do that.

Unlocking the door quickly, I lean down and grab the package as I open the door with my other hand. And the moment I do I hear the all too familiar sound of nails on tile floor.

“Bonnie, Clyde, before you do anything I don’t have any food, so don’t ask!”

However, being true to form they do the exact opposite of what I say. Instead of listening like they should they run out towards me, meowing the entire dang time. These two are better than any alarm or alert system, I got to say that.

Clyde is the first one to get here, no shock there. He was always the faster one. So fast he often looks like nothing but a big black blur. Which of course makes it all the more funny when he runs into the wall when chasing after a laser dot, the moron.

Bonnie saunters in after him, amazing me even to this day how a fat cat like her can still move. She is so big that when she walks her belly wobbles from side to side. I don’t feed her that much yet somehow she keeps packing on the pounds. One day I worry I will come home and see nothing but a big furry blob consuming the entire apartment.

“Well you two look like you’re in good shape. Glad to see that my brother remembered to feed you. Though I have to say Bonnie that you should be put on a diet. You could stand to lose a pound or two. Or ten."

Of course they answer with their typical meow, and then proceed to rub themselves against my legs. Shortly however they change their attention from me to the package. Clyde even starts trying to climb up my leg to get to it, the brat.

“Ok ok, geez if you want to smell it that badly just give me a second."

Though, of course, Clyde doesn’t seem like he is in a patient sort of mood. No sooner do the words escape my lips does he then think it is the perfect moment to jump for the box, knocking me off balance and sending everything in my hands, and myself, tumbling down to the floor. And I swear I hear a shriek of some kind right before I hit the floor.

“Fluttershy, you have to be quiet."

“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be so loud.”

“I know Sugarcube but you have to stay quiet, we don’t know what those things wanna do to us."

Out of all of the six Fluttershy has taken everything the worst. Though as always she continues to apologize whenever she utters anything that may give them away.

“Ow! Dangit Clyde! That’s it; get out of here before I kick you from here all the way to New York!”

Twilight did not know who this Clyde was. She presumed it was another one of those strange bipedal creatures that inhabit this land. Though she has not heard Clyde say a single word. The only voice that she heard was the same one she heard when the box they were in was lifted off of the ground.

A short skittering sound is heard, and as that noise fades away the box is pulled towards the voice of whomever it was who spoke a moment ago.

Looking at each member of the group, Twilight makes a zipping motion in front of her mouth, something that she has had to do a few times before in this strange new world. Everypony nods, knowing what she means. Though Rainbow Dash does not like having to do this.

Quickly the top of the box is opened, light shooting inside and illuminating all. Everypony holds perfectly still. None of them even blink from the light suddenly forced down upon them. Though a few of them risk a short glance up for a second. But it is quick enough that they are able to get a look at this strange creature above them.

Its head is the same as the other beings they have seen before. Well not exactly the same but then again no two of these creatures are exactly the same. They seem like pony’s that way.

Its appearance seems to be male, though the mane is longer than other males they have seen. It goes just a little bit down past his shoulders. Except in the front that is. For some reason that part is short and thin.

The eyes are gray and are looking at all of the Mane Six in what appears to be a mix of both confusion and disappointment. That’s not what most of them look like that Twilight has seen before.

“Collectibles. That is what Leah has given me? My Little Pony collectibles?” His face goes into what looks like his version of a hoof, and all of them hear a loud sigh coming from the creature.

“Though I must say they look extremely well done. Well, at least from what little I know of collectibles."

The creature’s hoof like appendage reaches down towards Fluttershy. It uses its several smaller appendages jutting out from its version of a hoof to grasp her, lifting her up away from the rest.

“Odd. Fluttershy is strangely warm for some reason. That’s not normal for a toy."

The creature looks over her quite closely. To Twilight and all the others it is almost as if he is expecting a piece of meat before he would eat it. During the entire time he holds her Twilight and the others just get more and more worried.

“The fur seems quite fine. How the hell did they make it like this?”


The creature holding Fluttershy turns to the direction that noise came from. While those in the box cannot see, Fluttershy can tell from her peripheral vision what it is. And it is staring straight at her.

Fluttershy knows easily enough that it is a cat. However compared to her it is huge. One bite would be all it would take to finish her.

“Oh no Clyde, Leah gave me these, you are not going to have any of these for a chew toy."

Fluttershy mentally breathes a sigh of relief as she is placed back inside with her friends, and the creature backs away.

“Come on you brat, I am going to go lock you in the bathroom for now. You have caused enough trouble."

The six ponies in the box hold still until the creature sounds far enough away that they can talk to each other again.

Applejack quickly goes to Fluttershy, her eyes showing concern. “Are you ok sugarcube?”

“Y-yes, I think so. He didn’t hurt me."

“I can’t believe these ruffians! Picking us up like that without a second thought!”, Rarity says, her mane messy and tangled with what has happened to them since their arrival.

“I don’t think they mean to be rude Rarity. You do remember what we saw shortly after we came here, don’t you?”, Twilight says.

“I think it’s cool! Ever since that spell you did everything is so huge! And there are so many of us here! I need to bring the other uses here for a party!”

Pinkie Pie is being her typical jovial self. She has had the worst time holding still when they needed to do so. Twilight earlier considered trying a spell on her to make her hold still.

“I didn’t think it would last this long. But at least we haven’t been discovered yet. From what I saw earlier it looks like they think we aren’t real. It’s like they think we’re a simple story”, Twilight says.


Everypony stops talking and looks up at the top of the box to see a big, chubby furry face looking down at them. And all that feline does is lick its lips hungrily while looking down at them.