*Munch* *munch* *munch*. Gods, I feel terrible... Gods, I have been swearing to the gods much more often than usual. *munch* *munch* As if this couldn't get any more awkward.
*Swallow*
...
I sighed. Just last night I had told the story of my origins to Twilight Sparkle. It was an odd experience, lying so deeply about my own life. It felt strange: not because of any sense of lingering guilt, but because it felt as if only half of what I told her was absolute crap, when all of it was. This feeling of emotional vulnerability could also have stemmed from my complete breakdown towards the end, when I realized that, at least in this time, everyone and everything I knew and loved was dead and gone.
I drew my hands to my face and rubbed my darkly-circled eyes once more. I'll never get used to thinking that they're all dead, I thought. At least Naga was sure about being able to send me back, but what caused all this? I stared at the female creature I was sitting opposite from at the table. Twilight was wordlessly chewing through a bowl of cereal of her own, her expression downcast with emotional baggage and the darkened eye bags reminiscent of our prior late night exchange. They're all kind enough, and they act just like people. They might as well be permanently transformed Taguel for all I know. But what happened in the last thousand years to replace mankind with sentient ponies? I mused the question over in my mind as I resumed chewing the bland oat cereal before me. My explanation may have been enough for Twilight herself, but I'm sure she'll begin to see the holes in its reasoning as soon as she feels I've emotionally calmed down. Then, she'll have questions. I gulped, half to swallow a mouthful of cereal, and half to send down a wave of anxiety that made its way up. When that time comes, I just hope I'll have my own answers... Answers that will preferably come sooner rather than later, from these two "Princesses". I blinked. Oh Gods, I didn't even tell Twilight about how they'd be able to send me back, did I? I ran yesterday's events through my mind and almost slapped myself in the face. Good job, Robin. You can tell a mountain of lies but forget the one truth that is safe to tell her.
I grabbed my empty bowl of cereal and emptied its dregs into a trash bin. I strolled over to the kitchen basin to wash it out. I raised an eyebrow at what appeared to be a spout and two handles. My expression grew puzzled as turning one of the handles caused water to rush from the faucet. Running water in private homes? That would make showering so much easier! Ugh, it would be too costly, tedious, and impractical to develop with engineering, though... I'm attributing this to magic.
I mentally slapped myself in the face to bring my mind back to the present. Robin, you have a friend here who is confused and concerned for your well-being because of a web of lies you wove around your life. The least you could do is try to rebuild some trust and happiness into the relationship. My lungs slowly filled themselves with air as I thought over what to say. Friendship is powerful, never forget that.
"...Twilight?"
She immediately perked up and looked at me in expectation, but her face still held wrinkles of concern. I watched her carefully over my shoulder as I washed my cereal bowl out. After she said nothing, I placed my clean bowl on the counter beside the sink and turned around. I sighed, and continued speaking.
"Look, I know I haven't been completely honest to you about everything. Geez, even I am still mulling over the reality of everything that's happened to bring me here. But what's happened in the past will stay in the past. My old life is gone, but now, I have a new life. It's here, in Ponyville; and I need to focus on what's important in life: building ties of trust and friendship. I'm sorry if my deceit hurt you in any way, but I hope we can put any conflict behind us and still be friends, okay?" It wasn't my most convincing speech, but it was honest, and I hoped Twilight saw that.
To my surprise, she wordlessly got down from her seat, walked over to me, rose on her rear legs and hugged me deeply. I was extremely confused and my body went rigid in reaction.
Twilight spoke from over my right shoulder, voice laden with empathy. "It was never a question of whether we were still friends, Robin." She backed up a bit and held me at arm's length; we stared into each other's eyes. "If you have a new life in Ponyville, I -- we, all of my friends and I, will be there for you, in good times and bad." She leaned forward and hugged me again. "And nothing the universe throws at us can change that," she finished solemnly.
After a moment, I raised my arms as if to hug her back; I hesitated for a second, but finally placed my arms around her in a warm embrace. It felt as if the world were right again.
I never lost my family: they're right here with me -- in front of me, in my arms...
My mind cleared itself except for one thought:
Everything is going to be alright...
However, this wave of comfort failed to wash away the pang of guilt and sorrow I felt in my moment of hesitation.
What am I going to do... when I have to leave?