//------------------------------// // Chapter 3: Shit Has Never Been More Changed Up Than It Is Right Now // Story: Jason's Equine Discovery // by EarthTrack //------------------------------// Jason lay unconscious for hours. As life forces finally found him, he slowly gained awareness of his surroundings. He felt as though he was as heavy as a fucking log. He couldn’t move his limbs worth shit, and his eyes were being pussies and not opening. He tried to awaken himself for what seemed like goddamned centuries, and could finally stand up. He stood, took a few steps and dropped to the ground like a cartoon character’s jaw. After falling straight on his ass, he slid several meters across the ground. Frustrated, he attempted to stand once more, but fell again on his nose. That shit hurt. His face’s contact with the ground was also met with a nasty-ass taste in his mouth. It reminded him of when he was a child and his mother would hear him curse. Jason jerked his neck upward, cracking it loudly. While trying not to scream like a little bitch, he held his neck up long enough to see that the roads and paths were covered in… soap. “Soap? Are you fucking kidding me? This Discord guy must be an asshole.” Jason had no option but to roll himself onto a patch of grass and finally stand the fuck up. He brushed himself off, but felt like a dumbass when he realized that you can’t brush off soap. He let his hands down to his sides and felt something hanging off of his belt. He looked down and found a pleasant surprise. His sock weapon from the previous day was tied around his belt. At least he felt that he could protect his pussy ass from Mr. Discord. He strolled along for a few feet, and was knocked down by something and it wasn’t soap this time. He stood up, brushed off the dirt, but no soap, and looked down at the ground to see the puffy pink bitch. At this point though, he was getting tired of calling her puffy pink bitch, so he settled on calling her Pink Pony. It was a nice name. “It’s about goddamn time you found me. I’m supposed to be helping you defeat this Discord asshole, and you aren’t showing me shit.” “Don’t be silly, we need to have a party befo-“ Jason took the sock off of his belt and raised it, gesturing to smack Pink Pony in her flamboyantly gay pink snout. She cowered in fear. “Okay, okay! I’m sorry; I’ll take you to Discord!” “You’re damn right you will.” Replied Jason, smugly. The two walked, and for a small portion of the journey, slid to a small mountain with a chair on top of it. It was the best damn time of his life. Perhaps more fun than it should have been. Regardless, the two of them began the ascent up the hill, but they were interrupted by a deep male voice. “Please, allow me.” Pink Pony and Jason looked up at the sky and saw what looked like a very thin, small dragon. Once he landed, Jason noted that he was not a dragon, but merely had dragon wings. His body was comprised of a pony’s head, lion paws, and a snake’s body and tail. “What the fuck are you?” Jason asked, almost worried. “Ah, my apologies. It seems that we haven’t met. My name is Voluntarius Discord Pervideo. Although, you may call me Discord for short. I am a draconequus. I am also the world-renowned Spirit of Chaos. Enough about me, however, who is it that graces me with his presence today?” “The name’s Jason. Jason McShullock.” “The pleasure’s all mine.” Said Discord with a cocky, sarcastic smile on his face. He bowed momentarily, and then returned to his normal standing position.’ “It doesn’t seem as though a lot of people here are big fans of the shit you do. I’ve been told to put an end to it. Pink Pony, I think it’s best you leave.” Pinkie Pie obliged, having great faith in Justin. “Pink Pony?” Discord began laughing hysterically. “That’s a laugh! You know, Jason. You and I could have quite the… chaotic partnership going on here.” Discord suggested. “Come, follow me.” Discord put an arm around Jason’s shoulder and led him towards a large house. Once inside, Jason marveled at the sheer beauty of Discord’s residence. For a demon god, he was fucking loaded. “This is my abode. Feel free to make yourself at home. I’ll be right back.” Discord disappeared into another room. Jason kicked off his shoes by the door and sat down in a large puffy chair. He sat his feet up on a footrest as well. If his heels could orgasm, his socks would be dripping with semen. He sat there, his dick erecting from the comfort of Discord’s furniture, when Discord came back with two wine glasses filled with a yellow liquid. Jason thought it may be wine, but Discord was a trickster. He could also be a damn assassin for all Jason knew. “Here, have a glass. You like Chardonnay, don’t you?” Discord offered, happily. “Alright, look pal. I don’t know what the hell you’re up to, but if you’re trying something that endangers me, you’d might as well be bathing yourself in acid.” Discord laid the glass on a stand next to the chair Jason was sitting in, and walked over to his fireplace. He snapped a finger and a spark jumped from his paw, igniting the fireplace. Discord walked over to a chair facing Jason, took a sip from his glass, and raised an eyebrow at Jason. “Let’s get down to business…”