//------------------------------// // Longing // Story: Duskfall // by Celestial Swordsman //------------------------------// Chapter 46 She knew before she opened her eyes that she was not on the green by the country cottage. She hadn’t consciously decided to teleport, but she found herself in the basement of the library of the Royal Magic Academy’s research division. The books on dark magic had been removed; the shelves they had filled were empty. None missed their presence or their influence. Regular materials seemed insufficient to occupy their place of importance and grim awe, however. Something powerful was needed to dispel their haunting ideological residue and restore the balance of the library, but what? Celestia hadn’t meant to come here, but she did know why she was here. She effortlessly moved aside the heavy bookcase and summoned the back door of the Vault. She opened it with the spell and hesitated in front of the unlit passage. Any farther and it would be treason. No fear of consequences would be sufficient. She had already lived her happy ending and, to her mind, completed her life. Her only pause came from the thought of breaking her sister’s trust and separating them, but even this did not stop her. She had always believed that they could not be kept apart for a great time, just as the sun and moon can only part ways for so long. She had hated their condition when they were enemies, but since they were reconciled it was a great comfort. She could wait no longer and entered the forbidden door with solemn but unshakeable steps. The journey through the long black passage was as natural and inevitable as falling. The white alicorn strode heedlessly through the hallowed and vaunted relics, following in the flesh the route she had already traveled in her dreams. Finally she stood before the book that the library could not contain. Her heart pounded; it was so close, but she was suddenly uneasy. The inner gates of the Vault slid shut and locked into place with sturdy enchantments. Celestia tensed and awaited her fate. She felt a presence unmask itself and cross the chamber behind her. A shadow deeper than shadow stalked the wall in front of her as it slowly circled. Celestia knew what she could not see. The chamber was lit by the glow of a white crescent that now replaced the sun as the emblem of its keeper. The shadow figure stretched out of the dark side of the artificial moon. The menace, a spectral silhouette of Nightmare Moon, loomed over Celestia and waited for her to move. Celestia was aware of the desperate and ingrained patterns within herself: “It’s mine. I can take it. I can snatch it away and force my escape. I am powerful; who can stop me?” She breathed deeply and discarded the frantic thoughts. The last thing she wanted was to oppose her sister, tonight or ever again. To take what she wanted as a violent robber would only prove that she should not have it. The old ways had no place here; she was searching for more of what was new. Celestia bowed her head in acceptance. The source of the threatening shadow stepped out from behind the moon, but it was only Luna. She was not easily given to tears, but there was hurt in her voice as she spoke, “You should not have come here. What could turn you to this? I thought you were happy.” “I thought I would be happy,” Celestia replied. “I thought I could forget about him.” The Princess remembered all the friends she had lost and agreed, “It is difficult to forget those who have passed, but the past should not be allowed to ruin the future.” Luna spread her wings behind her and stretched to her full height, to look commandingly upon the intruder. Her royal voice echoed in the confined chamber, “As Premier of the Republic I must uphold the sentence passed by the tribunal. Authority in the new order is based on its rulings. You agreed to abide by its decision, and the Republic must enforce its laws. Come now, respect my decision. Leave this Vault and all its treasures and I will forget your rash impulse.” Celestia, still bowed, replied, “I can’t, Princess. If you have to, go ahead and punish me, but I have to read the book again.” She closed her eyes despondently and begged, “Lock me away with it forever, just let me read it.” “Forever is a long time,” she cautioned. “Longer than a thousand years,” she added, with a quiver. Luna’s mind was forced to distinguish between these superlatives. That distinction separated her from a life trapped inside herself, tormented by darkness; from raging at her own dust, and moaning in depression without end. Dropping to a normal tone, she said, “Sister, I could not do that to you.” She folded her wings and lowered her head to bring them face to face. She finally allowed a sorrowful expression and counseled, “You do not need it to remember him by. He will be remembered. A monument will be built, songs will be written, and historians will search. You have a whole life before you. He would want you to let him go and live it in freedom.” “You don’t know what he wants!” Celestia blurted defensively. “No one does! How can I owe him everything and not know him?” “What he wants?” Luna repeated doubtfully. They rose up to gaze at each other directly. Celestia knew then that her sister finally understood her; it was comforting and terrifying to be so vulnerable. “Oh sister, that is what you want?” Luna intimated. The great white mare nodded, and buried her face in the pastels of her mane. The Princess whispered to deal the blow less harshly, “Then we both know that you will not find what you are looking for. It cannot be. As one who loves you, I beg you not to waste yourself, where you will only find more grief.” Undulating hairs carried away Celestia’s tears and laid them on the floor. “I won’t accept that,” she nearly whimpered. Gathering her resolve she continued, “Whatever is true, I have to know everything. He poured himself into me, and I have to. Do you know what that’s like?” Luna pondered it. “I do,” she confessed. She turned away and took a step towards the resting Elements. “The Elements of Harmony are a part of me. But their work was completed, and I do not need to hold on to them.” “I don’t feel complete,” Celestia lamented. “If they were not finished with you, what would you do to see them again?” “I would do anything,” Luna admitted. “To be honest, I did feel something more. When you were reborn, I was finally at peace. The last trace of bitterness toward you left me; whatever was there was related to the Elements somehow, and I trust the Elements. Only I am afraid that I will lose that peace if I have to be lonely again.” Celestia followed her and comforted, “You will feel me every sunset. But don’t be lonely again, little sis. Let other ponies in. It is peacetime; you don’t need to be invincible anymore. Twilight and her friends at least will understand.” “If I let you do this,” Luna allowed the thought, “I cannot stop them from pursuing you, and if they catch you, they will have to—“ she choked. “They will have to punish you. To think of you in that awful trance…” She collected herself to continue, “Do not let that happen to us. Celestia, you cannot hurt any that pursue you! They will be good ponies.” She vowed stoically, “If you hurt them, I will have to hunt you myself.” “Of course,” Celestia appealed, “I couldn’t hurt them.” “I know,” Luna sobbed. That only made it worse. “That means you will have to leave all civilization to be where they cannot find you. You will have to be alone. Unless you can disguise yourself.” Celestia shook her head. “No, I never learned that, I was too vain. If you could live in the moon…” The Princess was torn apart between her love and her conscience. “No, you will not be alone,” Luna decided. “The night knows to hide as shadow in the daytime. The sun chases it, but it always finds a concealed place. I know how to disguise you, if you can bear it.” “Make me myself,” the alicorn responded simply. “Come, pay careful attention. I will only do this once,” the night magician instructed. They faced each other, and prepared to begin. “Thank you,” Celestia said softly. “I love you.” The two alicorns rested their foreheads together, letting their manes intertwine as they rippled. Luna pulled away and said gruffly, “Now stop it or we shall never be able to concentrate.” She took one long last look at her sister and closed her eyes. She summoned up her power and cast blue light onto the great body before her. The air silently split and shimmered as prismatic fragments of her image closed off Celestia from view. With mixed emotion, Luna looked again and beheld Dusk, the small grey pegasus. The little pony’s coat was not streaked with ash, and her eyes retained their magenta hue. The Princess turned away from the stranger, saying, “I should not have done that. Go. I hope you do find something.” Dusk grabbed the book and, with a glance back at her mismatched sister, departed down the dark passage.