NOTICE: This document is classified and is to be not released to the public. By order of the House Moon and Star, anyone caught reading this and telling it to others will be punished severely. Only those who are members of the house or have permissions are allowed to continue reading after this.
-If you are reading this, then that that means the illusion spell has been lifted by a member of the house-
What you are about to read is completely confidential. All ponies in this document have their names hidden for the sake of their protection. The following is the questioning of a cult member by two guards. The cultist was a former member of the Cult of Laughter, but left when things just got too disturbing for him.
He then later turned himself into the authorities. In exchange for information, he wanted protection against the cult who would most likely go after him. However, the unicorn guards had a different idea. They wanted him to stay in the cult and pass any current information to them.
The former cultist reluctantly agreed to the terms and proceeded to perform his mission as an informant. This went on for weeks, with the pony secretly delivering plans the cult were about to enact. This helps the local guards to crackdown on meetings and to prevent any surprise attacks.
Then something tragic happened. For a whole month the informant hadn't sent any letters to his contacts. All was silent and everypony thought that he was compromised. It wasn't until a week later that their missing spy suddenly returned.
Upon reaching his contacts he told them that the cult were up to something big, however he refused to talk unless they guaranteed to put him under protection. After some long negotiation the guards gave in and put the stallion under their protection.
The following is recorded words from the two guards and the informant. The informant is explaining to his two contacts about his whereabouts in the last couple of weeks, and to tell them of the big something the Cult of Laughter are planning.
---
The sound of the door opening can be heard. Two sets of hoofsteps enter the room, the door behind them closes.
Guard #1: Alright buddy, we got word from our superiors.
Guard #2: Yeah, they agreed to your terms.
Informant: Oh thank Celestia!
Guard #2: However, they want to know about the info before providing you protection.
Informant: Hey screw that! the deal was that you guys give me protection, then I'll tell!
Guard #1: Hey man, no need to yell.
Informant: Fuck you! I ain't telling you nothing until you give me protection!
Guard #1: Look buddy, it's complicated.
Informant: Forget that, you bastards are just trying to screw me over!
Guard #1: Sir calm down-.
Informant: Don't tell me to calm down! You have no idea what I've been through!
Suddenly the sound of two hooves smashing onto the desk disrupts the conversation.
Guard #2: Alright I've had enough of this. Listen here bub, we didn't have to ask you to tell us the information. We could've just used a spell and searched through your mind and found what we wanted. The only reason why we haven't is because some ponies on top is worried about your mental condition. So you either tell us the info or I'll personally reach into your mind and screw around in so much, that you'll not remember how to trot!
After this threat there was a long moment of silence.
Informant: Fine, I'll talk.
The two guards then took their seats and faced the stallion.
Guard #1: Alright first things first, tell us where you have been?
Guard #2: You went silent for a month, what the hell happened to you?
Informant: Well you see the reason behind that is because the cult were on alert, they suspect a rat among their ranks.
Guard: #2: So they caught you and held you as a prisoner?
Informant: What are you kidding me? If I was caught I wouldn't be standing here right now. No, in the Cult of Laughter any traitors are immediately dealt with.
Guard #1: Do you know what happened to the traitors?
Informant: Not at first because I had to lay low for a while, those zealots are keeping a watchful eye on all the members.
Guard #2: Then what happened? You said that you didn't know what happened to the traitors at first.
Informant: Yeah and I wish I hadn't. Do you know how traitors are dealt with by each of the houses? Most execute them. Well the cult does something worse, instead of killing them, they are turned into these things called the Smiling Dolls.
Guard #2: Smiling Dolls?
Guard #1: What the hell is that?
Informant: From what I gathered, the traitors are turned into these horrifying automatons. Their bodies were cut opened and stuffed up. Their legs were cut off and replaced by these large sharp blades, and their eyes, by Celestia their eyes were plucked out and replaced by buttons.
Guard #2: Buttons?
Informant: Yes buttons! Their fucking eyes are replaced with goddamn buttons!
Guard #1: And you say that you actually saw one these things?
Informant: Not just saw one; I actually saw one being made.
Guard #2: You actually saw it being created?
Informant: Yeah.
Guard #1: How?
Informant: Well it began when I met this pony named Pine cone. He was also a member of the cult and was the guy who showed me the ropes.
Guard #2: Does he know you were a spy?
Informant: No of course not. The guy was a mindless follower like everypony else in there. Still, he was pleasant guy though.
Guard #1: Please, continue what you were telling us.
Informant: Right, anyways, Pine Cone showed me around the place. We became best buds afterwards.
Guard #2: Is this pony still around?
Informant: No..... I was just getting to him. You see after the rumors of spy among them, the cult leaders performed a thorough search among their members. They looked through their stuff and questioned their whereabouts. It was only a matter of time, before they figured me out.
Guard #2: So what did you do?
Informant: What I had to do, I needed someone to take the heat.
Guard #1: So you-
Informant: Yeah, I framed Pine Cone as the spy.
There was a short moment of silence.
Informant: Don't look at me like that, you would've done the same.
Guard #1: Continue.
Informant: Anyways after my buddy was caught they held a punishment, where every member must come. It was there when I saw the creation of that horrible machine. First they gutted Pine Cone and removed his entrails, then they also cut out the legs and eyes. Next they peel off the skin and stitch it back up after they stuff you up. Then they start bringing out these four large blades and attach them to the stumps where their legs used to be. Then for the final touch they stitch in the buttons.
The informant took him a moment to recollect himself.
Informant: Once the body was constructed the cult leader cast some kind of spell and brought that trotting abomination to life.
Guard #2: What kind of spell?
Informant: I don't know, some necromancy I guess.
Guard #1: What happened after that?
Informant: Well it awkwardly moved around, trying to adjust its new blade legs. It then scanned the room, looking at the faces of all the members. But, then it stopped and it stared at me. Suddenly it went crazy and charged right me. It killed a few members standing in its way.
Guard #2: So at that point you were discovered as the traitor?
Informant: No, they just thought that the thing was broken or they performed the spell wrong.
Guard #1: But, did it not go after you?
Informant: Well I was behind a large crowd, so it looked like it was just a random attack.
Guard #1: I see.
Informant: So at that time, I realized I needed to get out of there. However before I left, I did one last snoop around and discovered something shocking.
Guard #2: Is that the big something?
Informant: Yep.
Guard #1: Alright then, would you kindly tell us this big something.
The informant took a long breath and continued.
Informant: Its basically a long project those cult guys have been doing for a while. From what I read and heard, the cultists are trying to make their own Alicorn.
Guard #1: WHAT!
Guard #2: Preposterous, how the hell can those sick freaks perform an alicornification when Archmagister Twilight Sparkle can't even do it.
Informant: No man, they're not turning any ponies into alicorns, they are actually going to create alicorns.
Guard #2: Now that's even more impossible.
Informant: Are you sure about that?
Guard #1: I have to agree with him there, sir.
Guard #2: What?
Guard #1: You've seen what those cult can do? They freakin raise the dead sir! And now this smiling doll!
Guard #2: By Celestia.
Informant: Yeah and you know what's worse? Those guys are getting close, with each failed attempt, they are getting closer to achieving this alicorn.
The two guards remain silent for a while.
Guard #2: I think we've heard enough, let's go.
Guard #1: Yeah.
Informant: Hey wait! What about my protection!
The sound of door closing is heard, followed by a loud sigh and mumbled words from the informant.
---
After the questioning, the two guards returned to their superiors and told them of what they learned. When they got to the part of alicorns many didn't believe it, saying that the informant was just going crazy. It also didn't help that the informant hadn't brought any evidence of this alicorn creation.
Nevertheless, a deal is a deal and they granted this stallion asylum. However, later that night the prison that held the informant was attacked. The guards were brutally slaughtered, sliced up into pieces. The informant suffered the worst. According to eyewitnesses, the attacker fit the description of the Smiling Doll.
When it confronted the lone stallion in his cell, it raised both of its forelegs and hugged the pony, slicing him to pieces
By the time the sun rose, the entire prison was a bloody mess, literally.
After this tragic event the House of Moon and Star made sure that word of this horrible massacre didn't reach the public. Making this report classified and informing the family of the dead guards of their passing.
***
Special Thanks to FleetlordAvatar for proofreading this story.