Luna pranced through the castle, still on cloud nine from her visit to Ponyville. The normally morose alicorn hummed to herself, singing a jaunty little tune that she had heard somewhere or other. Suddenly, she noticed Hamfist, who stood at attention along the hallway.
"Good afternoon, Hamfist," she greeted in mock solemnity.
"Princess."
"How goes the watch?"
"The watch goes well, princess."
"Barged in on any sleeping ponies lately?"
"...Princess?"
"Oh, nothing, nothing... Very well, keep up the good work." She continued her trot towards the throne room.
"Yes, princess."
I do enjoy being in a good mood. In fact, I believe I feel like visiting Twilight again. It may be time to learn how to cook...
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What am I doing here what am I doing here what am I doing here... Fluttershy stood outside of a fancy restaurant in Ponyville, eyes darting back and forth nervously while her knees shook. The past few days had flown by, and before she knew it, the evening that she dreaded had arrived.
FLASHBACK
"He'll need to be a gentlecolt," Rarity said. "Somepony who will treat you the way you deserve."
"Rarity, you don't have to—"
"Nonsense!" the unicorn exclaimed. "If this is what it takes to let you be happy again, then I am more than willing to invest all of my time and effort!"
"That's not what I mean—"
"Aha! I got it! Fluttershy, I think I know just what to do! Let me call a few ponies and see what happens! I'll let you know when I have good news!"
UN-FLASHBACK
That had been three days ago. Rarity soon returned with a report that she had spoken with Fancy Pants, who had spoken with a friend, who had spoken with a friend, and so on and so forth. Eventually, they had found a stallion who was looking for a mare—Magnum, a prestigious member of the Canterlot nobility. Rarity even asked around about his reputation, receiving nothing but good reports; with those bases covered, it was a simple matter to arrange a dinner date for him and Fluttershy.
Oh dear oh dear, what's he going to be like? Is he going to want to do anything afterward? What if he wants to.... *gasp*... kiss me?
"Don't let him do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable!" came Rarity's voice. "This is a first date, not a promise of engagement!"
Just as she approached the panic threshold, beyond which lay danger of hyperventilation, a large carriage rolled up in front of the pegasus. A burly pony placed a set of portable stairs on the ground and pulled the door open to reveal a very handsome unicorn. He straightened his tuxedo jacket and descended to stand before the petrified Fluttershy.
"Ah, you must be my date," the pony she assumed was Magnum said offhandedly. "Well, don't just stand there waiting for a butterfly to flutter down your throat, let us go and sit down."
"Um, M-Magnum, s-s-sir—" she began, but he cut her off.
"That's 'Lord' Magnum', to you."
"D-do you, um..." Fluttershy stuttered, "...do you h-have a f-f-first n-name?"
The unicorn's eyes narrowed angrily. "I do not use my first name. Ever." When she looked like she was going to say something else, he barked, "Mention it no more!" The stallion walked forward, not even waiting for his date to follow.
Her brow furrowed slightly. Well, this isn't a good start.
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Luna came to a skidding-stop in front of the library. Before she could knock on the door, it was yanked open by Twilight herself.
"Hi, Luna!" she said cheerfully. "Did you have a good flight?"
"I most certainly did." The dark princess walked inside with a bounce in her step. "So, shall we get right to it?"
"Certainly!"
Just as Luna was going to the kitchen, she noticed a number of sandbags that had been piled up to form a half-circle wall with barbed wire on top. Out of curiosity, the princess peered over the barricade and found Spike lying on the ground, drawing with crayons. He had an army helmet balanced haphazardly on his head.
"Spike?" she asked of him, getting the little dragon's attention. "For what reason have you fortified this area?"
"Twi's teaching you how to cook, right?" The alicorn nodded. "Well, what I want to do is run from here, screaming, but somebody's gotta make sure she doesn't burn down the library."
"I'm certain that your fears are misplaced."
"Yeah yeah, we'll see..."
"Luna, c'mon! We've got a lot to do!" With a final glance at Twilight's assistant, Luna trotted to join her friend.
"So, I was wondering," the dark princess said off-hoofedly as she slipped into an apron, "will fair Fluttershy be joining us?"
"Oh, no, she can't tonight," Twilight replied. "She's got a date."
"A date?!" Luna exclaimed. "With who?!"
"With some noble stallion, Margarine or something," the purple alicorn said, taking no note of her companion's distress. "Alright, so the first step is..."
A date? Luna's attention turned to her musings for a minute. I... it is of no concern to me if she desires a mate. No concern at all. With that thought firmly in mind, she returned her focus to her temporary teacher.
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"And so she said, 'Of course Magnum's hair is perfect! It's always perfect!'" The stallion finished his story with a tittering laugh.
On the other side of the table, Fluttershy halfheartedly giggled, more to be polite and contribute than anything else. In truth, she was nearly bored to tears. Ever since sitting down, Magnum had done nothing except talk about himself. Her nervousness had long ago vanished, replaced by an emotion that approached irritation.
"What about you?" he asked suddenly, surprising her with the question.
Is he asking me about myself? Maybe he isn't completely wrapped up in himself..."Well, I'm—" she started.
"What do you think about my hair?"
Nope, he really is. "It's lovely," she said in a flat voice.
"Of course it is. You don't even have to tell me."
Then why did you ask?
"I must say, this 'Ponyville', it's quite the nest of hicks," Magnum stated loudly.
"I—I'm sorry?"
"It's very quaint and rustic, wouldn't you say?"
Just... bear with it, Fluttershy. Only a little longer, and you never have to see him again. Only a little longer... She gave him a fake smile, and the noble launched into another tale about himself.
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"C'mon, Flats, this is stupid..."
"No way bro! We'll be seriously rich if we can hunt down that castle!"
Two stallions, barely out of colthood, pushed their way through the Everfree Forest. The one in front, Flats, an earth pony, had a large knife in his mouth that he was using to cut a path in the vegetation.
"Plum, you still back there?" Flats asked around the knife's handle.
"Of course I am, no way am I going anywhere in here by myself."
"Why don't you do the cutting? You can use your magic to do that, right?"
Plum's horn lit up and he took the knife from Flats' grip. "It's not good being here during the night, bro," he said nervously. "Those stories they told us when we were little colts... I don't think they're made-up."
"Don't be a wuss," the earth pony said, derision in his tone. "Those mares that always hang out together have been in here tons of times, and they all make it out fine. If a mare can do it, then it'll be no problem for a stallion."
"I don't think that's how it works..." However, Plum didn't argue any further, knowing that he wouldn't be changing his companion's mind. "Anyway, I think we should—AAAH!" His front hoof came down upon nothing, and before he knew it, Plum was falling into a hole that had been hidden under the thick vines.
He hit an incline and continued to roll down it. Something wet mingled with his mane, but he was spinning too quickly to stop and see what it was.
Finally, the slope leveled out and the stallion came to a stop. "Ooooh..." he groaned, rubbing his head gingerly. He created a magical light and looked around to see where he was.
He stood in a small stream (fortunately, the wetness was only water, not blood), which came trickling down the slope he had just descended. The tunnel he was in was about twice the height of a pony. Plum was lucky because, although the knife had fallen with him, it hadn't caused any injury. Suddenly, a voice echoed down from the chute's entrance.
"Plum!" it called faintly. "Bro, are you alive?"
"I'm alright!" the unicorn called back, but Flats didn't say anything more.
"That'ss what you think, flessh."
Plum whipped around to face further down the tunnel. The deep, gravelly voice had come from that direction, beyond the range of his conjured torch.
"Wh-who's there?" he whimpered, backing up slowly. He spun on his back heel once more when he heard something hit the ground from behind. The unicorn immediately realized his mistake when he saw that the noise had been made by a falling stone. Something located behind him drew a ragged breath, and he knew that whatever monster he had come across was standing right there. He stabbed backwards with the knife in the hope of getting a lucky hit, but it was knocked away and fell from his magical grip.
"What little nuisssance is thiss, that disssturbss my centuriess-long sslumber?"
Plum's head twisted slowly to give him a glimpse of what terrible beast the darkness had conjured, but all he saw was a pair of green eyes.
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"Mayhaps we should call it a night," Luna said stoically. A layer of fine, white power covered her coat, which meant that she was cleaner than roughly 80% of everything else in the library, including Twilight herself.
"I'm sure that I had it right that time," the young princess insisted as she wiped black goo out of her eyes.
"Dost thou—my apologies, do you know where all of this... this... " The dark alicorn waved a hoof around to indicate the entire mess. "...stuff... originated?"
"I think there was a tiny mistake in the indredient ratio."
"How did you make a mistake?! We were making chocolate milk! There are but two ingredients—'chocolate' and 'milk'! I daresay this doesn't even count as 'cooking' in the first place!"
"Hey!" Twilight said defensively. "Everypony's gotta start somewhere!"
"I tooooold yooooou," Spike called from his sandbag hideout.
"Twilight Sparkle, I fear that it is time for me to retire," Luna said. "It is past the time I alotted, and I still have a number of duties to complete before I sleep."
"Pfffft... *snicker*... 'duties to complete'..."
"Spike! Grow up!" Twilight shouted.
"Was that a jest? I do not understand..."
"Don't worry about that. Could you help me clean this up before you go?"
Luna's horn lit and a spell washed over the room, banishing every last bit of the mess to the nethers. "There, art thou—are you content?"
"You'll have to teach me that one," Twilight said, in awe of the older princess's prowess.
"Next time, remind me and I shall! Twilight Sparkle, thank you for the cooking lesson." Luna restrained herself from sarcastically emphasizing the word 'lesson'. "I always enjoy spending time with you."
"It's no problem, you're a fun pony to hang out with."
"I shall see you soon," the night princess said. However, right as she reached for the door handle, she stopped and began to chuckle. "Heh...'Duties'... I get it!"
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Flats paced back and forth in front of the hole that Plum had fallen down through. The unicorn had initially shouted something up, but for the past half hour, there hadn't been a peep.
"That idiot probably got himself killed," the earth pony mumbled. "I should just leave him down there. Yeah, if he hasn't come back up by now, then he's never coming up."
In front of Flats, a large bush shook, causing the stallion to jump back in alarm.
"Wh-who's there?" he stuttered. When nopony answered, he slowly shuffled in the opposite direction, making sure not to look away. "I-I-I'm j-just leaving, okay? So d-don't hurt me!"
The bush was disturbed more violently than before as a pony stepped through it and into sight.
"Plum!" Flats exclaimed, recognizing his friend. The unicorn stood there, eyes cast downward. "What took you so long? I was just about to go down for ya!" Plum remained silent; he didn't even look up. "Hey, something wrong? Say something." Flats approached slowly, wondering if Plum had caught some type of contagious disease.
Soon, the earth pony was standing directly before his friend. He reached out a hoof to lift the unicorn's chin.
Plum's eyelids suddenly shot up, his now-green eyes dancing merrily above a wicked grin.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Magnum's carriage rumbled slowly across the bridge that led to Fluttershy's cottage. The dinner had lasted another two hours, during which she contemplated yawning, sleeping, screaming, running, and murder, all in that order. However, she could finally see that the end was in sight.
I'm... I'm not sure I've ever wanted to get away from another pony this badly before, Fluttershy realized. I shouldn't think such bad things about somepony else, though... Alright, I'll be as nice as I can until he leaves! "Th-thank you, for, um..." she began, "...for the n-nice evening."
"It was fairly boring, if you ask me," Magnum said, glaring at her.
Oh. So much for that...
Finally, the carriage stopped in front of her house, and the pegasus wasted no time in getting out. "Good bye, have a good evening," she said politely before turning back to the door. She paused when she heard hoofsteps behind her.
"Well? I don't have all night," Magnum stated. The carriage pulled away, leaving him behind.
"I don't understand," Fluttershy said. "Why aren't y-you going with them?"
"My servants will be back to pick me up in a few hours. I expect you to be very good, to make up for that god-awful dinner."
"Wh-what do you m-m-mean?" She slowed backed away, but the stallion stepped forward to maintain their proximity.
"I'm going to bed you, of course," Magnum told her.
Wh-wh-wh-WHAT? "That's—I don't—but—"
"And you have no choice in the matter. Now, let's go."
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When Luna left Twilight's library, she fully intended to return to Canterlot. She hadn't been lying, after all, about having important matters to attend to. However, the princess found her wings taking her in a different direction.
If I recall Twilight's directions, Fluttershy lives this way, she thought absently. It cannot hurt just to check, right?
However, as she approached the lone cottage that sat in close proximity to the Everfree Forest, she saw that not one, but two ponies stood outside, right next to each other.
"That's right, her date," Luna muttered, before realizing that she recognized the stallion. "Hm, I know him from court. I should go now..." Instead of taking her own advice, she hovered in the air above the two, her body nearly invisible against the night sky. This is wrong! I shouldn't spy on her! The princess's actions betrayed her true wishes as she tuned her ears in to what they were saying.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If I say 'no', then Magnum will definitely just leave, right? Fluttershy thought desperately. There's no way that he...
"My patience is wearing thin," the unicorn said. "Do unlock the door so we can get this done with."
"N-no."
"I beg your pardon?"
Fluttershy cleared her throat. "I-I said, 'no'."
Magnum's brow descended into a deep scowl. "I already said that you have no choice—you will sleep with me. Now open that door or else I will—what?!" Something had just hit him lightly on the leg. He glanced down to find Angel, ready to deliver a second kick. The unicorn's magic encompassed the little rabbit and lifted him into the air.
"Angel!" Fluttershy exclaimed. "Put him down!"
"Will you do as I wish?"
"I—" With her beloved Angel in danger, the fire vanished from the pegasus's resistance. "Okay..."
"Good, then—"
A sudden blast of lightning lit up the night sky. Dark clouds formed out of nothingness, and a powerful wind kicked into action. However, none of this was nearly as frightening or awe-inspiring as what slowly descended towards the two ponies.
"Release the rabbit, cur, or meet thine end!" Luna boomed, the force of her voice nearly knocking Magnum off of his feet. Her eyes blazed with a pure-white light, and even though her body had become black as a void, she was perfectly visible. A startled Magnum immediately dropped Angel, who was caught up in his owner's embrace.
"Who are—" the unicorn started indignantly, but the princess cut him off.
"Daffodil Magnum, We have witnessed the crime thou hast committed."
"Don't use my whole name!" he shrieked, looking around to see if anypony else had heard.
Luna continued as if he hadn't spoken. "Thou shalt appear tomorrow at noon before Us and Our sister, in order to receive thy sentence. Failure to do so would not be wise."
"I am a member of a very influential family," Magnum said. "If you leave now, I will forget thi—"
"THOU DAREST THREATEN THE PRINCESS OF THE NIGHT?!" she bellowed, taking all of the wind out of his sails. More flashes of lightning brightened the dark sky. "If it is thy wish, We can give thee punishment here and now! However, know that thou hast commited a grevious wrong against fair Fluttershy, who is very dear to Us, and We will not be as merciful as would Princess Celestia..." Her sentence trailed off ominously.
"Fine," the unicorn said in a clipped voice. "But this isn't the end. I'll make certain you regret this." He turned and walked away, in the direction of Ponyville, where he would find his servants and chariot.
As soon as the noble vanished from sight, Luna allowed her appearance to return to normal. Her mane, which had been a blazing blue, once more mirrored the night sky. The clouds dissipated and the wind died down. "Art thou well?" she asked with concern evident in her tone. "Didst that fiend inflict any injury?"
"Princess Luna, if you hadn't—he would've—I would've—" Fluttershy's eyes teared up and she squeezed Angel tightly.
What do I do now? Luna thought frantically. What would a friend say? How would a friend act? Then she realized what the most important thing was. What does Fluttershy need? "Um, Fluttershy..." the princess started, uncertain of whichi words would be the best. "Canst thou tell Us... what dost thou require?"
"Wh-what do I need?" the pegasus asked, sniffing.
"Yes, what dost—do you need? How can I help you? You need but say it, and it shall be done."
"Well, um, t-to start, let's just go inside..."
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An emaciated unicorn shambled out of the Everfree Forest, green eyes fixed on the ground in front of it. Where once Plum's mane had been a vibrant purple, it had gone white, and even fallen out in places. His body was wrinkled and his bones had become brittle. It was as if he had aged seventy years in the past few hours.
"Thisss body isss weak," it hissed in a sibilant voice. "It ssshall not lasst much longer."
"That filthy mongrel... why her sister ever allowed her back into the palace..." The Plum-thing's head snapped around towards the sound. It was a unicorn stallion, stomping down the dirt road. "And how does she know my name?! I swear, she'll regret this..."
"Ahh...but thiss one..." the monster whispered. "Itsss hate... smellsss deliciousss..."
It turned to meet its newest prey.