Law and Order
Zephyr lay sprawled out on his bed in the Apple house. He slept peacefully, snoring lightly every so often. The first rays of dawn were peaking over the horizon and drifting in through his window. It would probably be another couple hours before he awoke. So he was blissfully unaware of the hot pink pony that crept into his room.
Pinkie Pie rubbed her hooves in anticipation. She stifled a giggle as she thought about the fun everypony was going to have today. As if by magic, she produced a trumpet into her hooves and snuck silently to the bed. Pinkie placed the horn right by his ear and drew in a deep breath.
* * * *
Zephyr was floating amidst a clear sky. With a gesture, a storm cloud formed on either side of him. With a nod of his head, more and more clouds began to fill the sky. With a mere effort of will, he blackened the sky. Round and round the storm spun, with him at its center. Lightning flashed from every direction, and the crash of thunder rolled around him. Zephyr felt the power of the storm, felt its every movement. Ponies below watched with awe and amazement. Horns began to play an accompaniment to its music.
Zephyr shook violently awake and fell off his bed as the notes of Reveille blared in his ear. As he lay prone on the floor, blinking in confusion, Pinkie Pie’s face appeared upside-down above him. “Morning sleepyhead!” it said cheerfully. She smiled genuinely at him for a moment as he tried to figure out where he’d hide the body.
“Morning, Pinkie Pie,” he grumbled, rubbing his eyes. “Is there a reason I got the wake-up call, or did I just get pranked?” He began to stand up.
“Of course there’s a reason silly!” the pink mare giggled. “Today is Fun-a-thon day! And you’re invited!”
Zephyr knew he’d regret asking. “What’s Fun-a-thon day?”
“It’s only the most amazing, awesome, spectacular, hoof-wrestling, relay-racing, team sportiest, funnest day ever!” Pinkie said in one breath. “All of our friends are gonna be there too, which makes it super-extra-double fun!”
Zephyr sighed. I suppose it could be fun. I just wish she didn’t get me up so early! “Alright. Where are we meeting up with the others?” he asked.
“Well, first we have to go wake them up too!” Pinkie said happily. “Then we tell them about it and then they’ll want to do it too!” Zephyr just stared at her. “First up is Applejack!” Pinkie announced, bouncing out into the hall. Zephyr groaned and face-hoofed.
* * * *
About half-an-hour later, Applejack, Fluttershy, Twilight, Spike, and Rarity were following them with varying amounts of sleepiness. Fluttershy dozed as she walked, and Applejack kept her upright, rubbing her own tired eyes. Rarity had spent the last fifteen minutes complaining about her imaginary bed-head, and Spike shamelessly slept on Twilight’s back while she walked.
“Now all we need is Rainbow Dash!” Pinkie Pie informed them over her shoulder. She kept bouncing along the road.
“Pinkie, do we really need to be up this early?” moaned Twilight drowsily. “I just finished an all-night study session two hours ago.”
“And I had absolutely no time whatsoever to make myself presentable!” Rarity complained. “Honestly, what will everypony think if they see me in such a horrendous state?” She gestured at her barely disturbed mane.
“If we don’t start now, we won’t have time for all the fun stuff we’re gonna do today!” Pinkie explained. “Oh hey! There’s Dashie’s house!” She pointed up at the sky.
Zephyr looked up to see a two-story cloud house surrounded by colonnades and sporting a couple of rainbows between the levels. He gave a small whistle. “Nice place,” he noted.
“Now all we need is somepony to go up there and wake Dashie up!” Pinkie looked expectantly at Zephyr.
“Wait, you want me to go up there?” Zephyr demanded. “You’re kidding right?” Pinkie Pie made her eyes really, really wide. “You’re not kidding. How about we do something less suicidal?” The eyes got even bigger. Zephyr tried not to look, but couldn’t help it. “Okay, okay, fine!” he cried submissively. “Just…please stop that!”
Pinkie Pie grinned gleefully. Applejack began laughing. “It was nice knowin’ ya, Zephyr,” she chuckled. “We’ll all remember ya as a brave pony.” The awake half of the group fell to chuckles.
Zephyr looked up at the house and gulped. He lifted off and flew up to the door. Zephyr gave two quick knocks and waited. There was no response from inside. When he turned back to look at the group, Pinkie motioned him onward. Holding his breath, he turned the knob on the door and gently pushed inward.
The door made no sound as it opened. The room beyond was a wide-open living area that looked virtually unused. Zephyr crept inside. Maybe she’s a morning person, he lied to himself. Maybe she won’t mind being woken up at the crack of dawn. He snorted. Maybe I’ll grow a horn and turn pink, he added sarcastically.
He crept up a staircase, which was also thankfully silent, being made of clouds. At the top, the staircase dumped into another round room. A window let trickles of sunlight into the room, illuminating its contents.
The room was filthy. There was no other word for it. Wrappers, take-out bags, and trash of every variety covered the floor. The few outfits Rainbow Dash owned were all tossed around the room, lying on the table or in the sink. The walls were coated with dust, except where posters hung. Fortunately, the Wonderbolt’s faces and flyers were abundant enough that only half the room was dusty. Zephyr thought he might be able to make out bits of furniture under the mess, but he was distracted by a snore from one of the corners in the room.
Rainbow Dash slept splayed across her bed, with a raggedy blanket loosely covering a back leg. This corner of the room was perhaps the only clean space in sight. He noted for the first time that the room’s carpeting was blue. She let out a loud, thunderous snore before shifting slightly.
Zephyr approached cautiously. He decided he’d be safer if he flew over the mess (both for silence, and to get away faster if he needed to). When he was within hoof’s reach, he stopped dead as Rainbow Dash let out a yawn and rolled over, facing away from him. “Rainbow Dash,” he whispered. There was no response. “Hey, Rainbow Dash!” he said a little louder.
When this drew no reaction, he gingerly reached out a hoof and poked her in the back. Rather than wait to see the result, he dove away and cowered behind the nearest furniture-shaped garbage mound. A few moments passed, but nothing happened. Zephyr went back over and actually gave Rainbow Dash a significant nudge. Nothing. “Wake up,” he said in a normal tone of voice.
If Rainbow Dash even knew he was there, she gave no sign. She just snored loudly, still sound asleep.
“Hey! Rainbow Dash! Rise and shine!” Zephyr said loudly. He received another snore in answer. Great, he thought. This won’t end well. He began violently shaking Rainbow Dash, causing her snoring to come in broken fits and bursts. “Hey! Wake up! Everypony’s waiting!” he yelled. No effect.
“Fine,” he growled, annoyed. He opened the window and flew outside. After a moment, he returned with a lump of fluffy white cloud. “You asked for this,” he apologized as he positioned it directly above Rainbow Dash.
* * * *
The group on the ground saw Zephyr come out of the window and push a cloud in. “Now what do ya suppose he’s doin’ with that?” Applejack asked aloud.
A crash of thunder shook Rainbow Dash’s house, jarring Fluttershy awake from her dozing. A second later, they watched Zephyr blast out the window, flying towards them as fast as he could.
“She’s awake!” he shouted at them before flying on past. A second later, the sonic boom of his flight hit them, knocking Spike off of Twilight’s back with a startled yell and blowing back all of their manes.
“Great! Now my mane is—” Rarity began, before an angry shout interrupted her.
“GET BACK HERE!” thundered a voice from inside the house. An explosion rent the air as Rainbow Dash burst through the wall of her house, rocketing after Zephyr. In seconds, she was out of sight, speeding off in the same direction Zephyr had gone.
The group was rocked by another sonic boom, worse than the first. Fluttershy’s wings accidentally opened up and caught enough of the blast that she was blown back a short distance. “Umm. Rainbow Dash didn’t look happy. Maybe we should help him,” Fluttershy suggested timidly.
“Yeah, that’s probably for the best,” agreed Twilight. “We don’t want to start a Fun-a-thon with a trip to the hospital.”
“Don’t worry!” interjected Pinkie Pie. “I don’t have any twitches saying anything bad. I’m sure he’ll be fine.”
* * * *
One hour and a frantic chase later, they managed to rescue Zephyr. Twilight managed to stop Rainbow Dash long enough for Pinkie to mention the Fun-a-thon, at which point she instantly became calm and upbeat. “Well why didn’t you just say so?” she asked, as if she hadn’t just been a snarling enraged death missile a moment ago.
“I…was…busy,” Zephyr panted bitterly. “Somepony…was trying…to kill me!”
“Woohoo!” yelled Pinkie Pie. “That was so much fun! Zephyr was all like ‘Ahh! Don’t hurt me!’ and Rainbow Dash was all ‘No, I’m gonna chase ya!’ and we were all ‘Oh no! We’ve gotta save him!’” She paused for a breath. “That was super-duper fun, and it wasn’t even on the list!”
“There’s a list?” Fluttershy asked.
“Uh-huh! And everything on it is just as super-duper fun as the chase was!” Pinkie answered. “And that’s why I needed to get you guys up so early! If I hadn’t, we would’ve lost too much time rescuing Zephyr to get through the whole thing.”
Rarity, who’d gone home and fixed her hair instead of participating in “a ridiculous and unladylike stampede,” raised a hoof. “So you woke us all up early to compensate for all the time we lost because you woke us all up early?!” she asked unbelievingly. “What in Celestia’s name made you think this was a good idea?”
“I dunno.”
The group collectively face-hoofed. Spike was the first to recover. “So, what’s the first thing on this list? Does it include breakfast?” His stomach rumbled loudly.
“Of course! Breakfast is the most important meal of the day!” Pinkie stood at salute. “Without breakfast, we’d all go hungry until lunch! Breakfast is what makes us get out of bed! How would anypony start their day if they didn’t have breakfast? Why, we’d be nothing more than savages, who’ve never heard of waffles, or pancakes!”
“So…does that mean we’re getting breakfast now?” Spike asked Applejack quietly.
“Give ‘er a minute,” Applejack replied. “Ah think she’s almost done.”
“Now, everypony! Follow me to Sugarcube Corner! For breakfast! For Equestria! For fresh all-you-can eat pancakes!” Pinkie yelled, and began bravely charging down the street.
“Told ya,” Applejack whispered to Spike. The group slowly followed their pink general.
* * * *
A few minutes later, they all crowded a booth in the corner of Pinkie’s favorite bakery. Twilight sat on the outside end of the booth next to Applejack. Moving on around, Spike was next, mooning over Rarity, who sat next to him. Next came Rainbow Dash, occupying the corner position. Fluttershy occupied her other side, strategically placed between Rainbow Dash and Zephyr. Pinkie was given the other outside seat in case of emergency. Plates full of pancakes, muffins, and cupcakes of all varieties sat in front of each pony.
“Everypony dig in,” Mrs. Cake told them. “There’s more than enough for all of you.” They needed no encouragement. In moments, the group became a frenzy of eating, especially Pinkie Pie. The plump baker took empty plates and came back with new dishes full of food. After a few moments, the pace began to slow, and everypony began to take time to actually taste their food.
“Rhis ish derishus!” Spike said around a mouthful.
“Spike, don’t talk with your mouth full!” scolded Twilight.
The purple dragon gave a big gulp. “I said, this is delicious!” He let out a loud, fiery belch.
“Thank you dear,” Mrs. Cake said, waving away the smoke. “By the way, have any of you heard the news?”
“News? What news?” Fluttershy asked. “Did something happen? Is everypony okay? Was it a fire?” With each question, she grew a little more frantic.
“No, no, nothing like that,” Mrs. Cake assured her.
“The Royal Guard is sending a detachment of new recruits to Ponyville to help keep order,” Mr. Cake announced, walking out from the kitchen. “Actually, they should be here any time now.”
“Guards?” asked Twilight. “Ponyville’s never needed guards to keep the peace before. Why would they send them now?”
“I’m sure I don’t know, dear,” Mrs. Cake answered. “Sometimes they do things like this to help new recruits get their hooves wet. I bet it’s nothing.”
“Besides,” Rainbow Dash said in between bites. “There’s no problem too big for us to handle. I’m sure that after one look at my awesome skills, they’ll be packing up and leaving!” The others at the table rolled their eyes.
“Guys, this is interesting, but we’re getting off track!” Pinkie spoke up. “We need to finish up so we can get on with the Fun-a-thon!” She shoveled the rest of the food on her plate into her mouth and gulped it all down. “Come on everypony! Time’s a wastin’!”
* * * *
They split the cost of breakfast (“Whaddaya mean thirty bits!?” demanded Rainbow Dash), and followed Pinkie to the park. To their surprise, crates full of pastel-colored blobs dotted the area. “Super-Duper-Fun-Activity Number One!” Pinkie shouted. “Free-For-All Water-Balloon Fight!”
“Sweet!” cried Rainbow Dash. “I’m so glad I got up for this!”
I’ll bet you are, Zephyr thought darkly. Out loud, he asked “Any rules?”
“Go!” Pinkie yelled instead, before bolting to the nearest crate. She picked it up and began rapid-firing water balloons at the group. As the watery missiles came towards them, they all scattered, running towards crates of their own. Spike, unfortunately, was not fast enough to escape the barrage and was instantly saturated.
Rarity was the first to get to her crate. She picked it up with her magic, but rather than removing balloons from it, she held it like a shield in front of her. “You all get soaked if you want,” she cried from behind her crate. “I, on the other hoof, am a lady, and will not lower myself to play such a crude, senseless, barbaric—“ She cut off as a fat, pink water balloon slammed into the side of her face and burst. Water dripped from her once again ruined mane. Rarity turned to see Applejack snorting with laughter. “OH! It. Is. On!” Rarity growled, and began assailing the apple farmer with her own water balloons.
Rainbow Dash grabbed her first crate mid-flight and carried it up into the air. Rather than pick a single target, she turned the crate upside-down and made a bombing run over the whole group. Most of her shots missed, but Twilight, who’d paused at a crate herself, was struck by at least six of the airborne projectiles. She looked up at Rainbow Dash angrily, and began firing her own ammunition. Rainbow Dash dodged easily. “Hah! Nice try Twilight!” she called, and flew down to get another crate.
Spike and Fluttershy had formed an alliance, in which she ran screaming every which way to avoid Pinkie Pie’s fire, and he rode on her back with a crate of water balloons, tossing them at anything that moved. He saw Rainbow Dash coming in, and took careful aim. With a fling, Spike’s shot slammed Rainbow Dash in the face just as she swooped in for a second crate. “Good shot. Yay!” Fluttershy cheered quietly.
Zephyr took a more defensive tactic. He grabbed a crate on the fly, just like Rainbow Dash, but instead stayed close to the ground. Zephyr skirted the edge of the battle, only diving in for quick, precise strikes. In rapid succession, he pegged Applejack, Rarity, and Twilight. He was about to go looking for Pinkie Pie when a glint of metal caught his eye from off to the side.
Zephyr turned his head to identify its source, and was rewarded with a view of six Royal Guards, all pegasi, in their shining golden armor. They were gathered outside the Mayor’s house, and Madame Mayor herself stood at the door. The Guards were saying something to her, and whatever it was seemed to be upsetting her. Now, why would that be? he wondered.
He was pulled from his musings by a whistling sound. Zephyr ducked instinctively, and a water balloon soared over his head. “Surprise!” Rainbow Dash shouted. Zephyr looked behind himself to see her coming in fast. With a grin, he turned and began flying evasively, heading for the crossfire between Applejack and Rarity. As expected, the rainbow-maned pegasus moved to follow.
Zephyr tossed random shots backwards, hoping to throw off her balance as he neared the conflict. Water balloons whizzed by, one after the other, as Rainbow Dash pursued him. At last, he reached the war zone between the unicorn and earth pony and flew right through the middle of it. Rarity and Applejack briefly began firing at him, but failed to lead the target. Their shots arrived just in time, however, to blast Rainbow Dash from both sides as she flew through. She came crashing down to the ground, spluttering.
The fight dragged on for several more minutes. Pinkie Pie appeared out of nowhere over and over, drenching everypony and disappearing before she herself was hit. Zephyr likewise managed to avoid taking a single shot as he dodged in and out of combat. As the available water balloons began to run dry, everypony but Zephyr and Pinkie found themselves drenched and out of ammo. The two dry ponies were both down to their last shot.
“Hey Pinkie Pie! Let’s have a shoot-out!” Zephyr yelled desperately from his cover behind a bush. He had abandoned his crate and held only his last balloon. “Ten paces, one shot, etcetera!” This was a desperate ploy, because he knew he couldn’t beat Pinkie Pie in a hit-and-run skirmish. “Whaddaya say?”
“That sounds fun!” she answered, popping up right next to him. “Let’s do this!”
They walked out into the open and stood back-to-back. Twilight, dripping wet, came over to count paces. “One. Two. Three,” she counted.
Zephyr moved his hooves mechanically. He wasn’t paying attention. What held his focus was the view he once again had of the guards. They were now crowded more closely, more menacingly around Madame Mayor. He could see that one of her windows was broken, and he could hear one of the guards yelling at her. “…all of us, or else we’ll have to come back and make our point again!” They began to stroll off arrogantly. Zephyr felt his blood boil.
“Fire!” Twilight shouted, calling his attention back to the shoot-out.
Zephyr whipped himself around without thinking and loosed the water balloon at Pinkie Pie before he could aim. Everypony watched in amazement as his balloon collided with the pink pony’s face before she could even throw her own shot. The force of the blow actually knocked her from her hooves onto the ground.
“Oh, geez!” Zephyr cried, and rushed over to check on her. “Are you okay? I didn’t…I don’t…”
She got up and shook head vigorously, showering him with droplets of water. “Wow! How did you do that?” she asked excitedly. “I’ve never, ever, ever been hit before! Usually my Pinkie sense tingles and tells me when somepony is shooting at me, but I didn’t get any twitches that time!”
“Uh…lucky shot?” Zephyr stammered. “I, uh…wasn’t really paying attention.”
“Nice one Zephyr!” Rainbow Dash congratulated him. “You just did the impossible! I’ve been trying to wallop Pinkie Pie for years in a water balloon fight!” Her smile abruptly vanished, and she punched him in the shoulder. “Jerk! I wanted to do that!”
Can’t she ever just leave it at congratulations? Zephyr wished as he rubbed his shoulder. “Did you guys see the guards?” he decided to ask. “They were over at Madame Mayor’s house. It looked like they were giving her a hard time.”
“I caught a glimpse of them, but I didn’t see anything like that,” Fluttershy admitted.
“I can’t see anything,” Twilight said. Her soaking wet mane hung draped in front of her face.
“Now that you mention it, Ah did hear some folks bickerin’,” Applejack added thoughtfully. “Let’s go see if somethin’ happened.”
* * * *
Something had happened. Madame Mayor was very closemouthed about the whole thing, but Zephyr could tell she was upset. The ground floor window was indeed broken, and pieces of glass lay scattered about the ground. A small patch of daisies growing by the door were trampled and lifeless. Madame Mayor herself was disheveled, as if she’d been pushed around. After a few polite words, and an offer to help fix the damage from Zephyr, Madame Mayor sent them on their way with her assurance everything was fine.
Pinkie Pie led the group to the library, where she announced Super-Duper-Fun-Activity Number two: hide-and-seek. They drew straws to decide who would be “it”, and everypony groaned when Pinkie Pie drew the shortest stick.
“This won’t last long,” Spike muttered.
“Home base is the library! Count to one hundred! Go!” Pinkie yelled, before anypony could protest. She covered her eyes and began counting. “One-one thousand. Two-one thousand. Three-one thousand.”
Once again, the group scattered in every direction. Zephyr lifted off and began rocketing through the streets of Ponyville, dodging ponies walking through the street and searching for a hiding place. Maybe I should hide near the library, he considered. At least I’ll have a chance when she finds me.
He picked a row of hedges next to a house two blocks from the library. Ducking into the vegetation, he kept his ears perked up for Pinkie’s approach. Meanwhile, he had nothing to do but wait. He sat himself down and tried to get comfortable, noting a crackle with every movement. I’ll definitely hear her coming, Zephyr thought with satisfaction.
“What do you mean you can’t go lower?” demanded a gruff voice from the street. A pair of the guards, one white and one dark brown, were glaring at a flower vendor. The yellow mare behind the cart trembled a little under their gaze. “We guard your homes, your families, even your way of life!” the darker of the pair continued.
“I’m sorry,” she answered. “But I can’t afford to give you more than half off. If I do, I won’t be able to make my house payments this month!”
“Half?” the white guard demanded coldly. His voice was sharp and arrogant. “Are you trying to insult us? We are members of the Royal Guard, heroes of Equestria! We get our orders for free,” he sneered.
“Free?!” repeated the mare.
“Or you could refuse,” offered the white guard. “You could turn away the Royal Guard, and demonstrate your self-reliance. Of course, without our protection, who knows what might happen?” He flashed a grin, and bumped the cart, knocking a small pot of daisies to the ground. The darker guard chuckled. “Oops.”
From where he sat hidden, Zephyr gritted his teeth. He had never really liked guards to begin with. These two weren’t helping. He found himself bracing, getting ready to go over and give them a piece of his mind. Don’t get involved, cautioned a small voice in the back of his head. Stay in control. Don’t provoke them, and they’ll leave soon enough.
As much as he didn’t want to, Zephyr forced himself to sit quietly as the vendor handed over a large bouquet of wild flowers. The guards left, and gradually his breathing normalized.
“Wow, I thought for sure you were gonna get angry!” Pinkie Pie said cheerfully from right next to them. Zephyr jumped in surprise, and Pinkie tagged him. “Found you!”
“What the-? How did-?” Zephyr stopped and took a deep breath. “Never mind. How much did you see?”
Pinkie Pie’s usually smiling face frowned. Zephyr was concerned. “All of it! And those guards are real meanie pants! Don’t those dummy-heads know how long it takes to grow a bouquet of wildflowers like that? But we don’t have time for that right now!” she told him. “There’s still a Fun-a-thon in progress, and you have to help me find the others! Come on! I’ll bet Rainbow Dash is hiding in the school’s bell again!”
Zephyr allowed himself to be dragged along in pursuit of the others, smiling a little in spite of himself.
* * * *
Hide and seek ended quickly. It was like Pinkie knew exactly where everypony was at any given moment. Neither Pinkie nor Zephyr mentioned the guards to the others as they moved on to the next activity.
After a few hours, during which the group played capture-the-flag, several rounds of freeze-tag, and red-light green-light, the gang stopped for lunch. They each got sandwiches from a stall vendor and sat themselves down around a couple of tables set out in the street.
“We’re about halfway through the list,” Pinkie Pie informed them. “If we hurry, we might even have time left over for a party!”
Zephyr laughed with the others. This was by far the most fun he’d had since he’d come to Ponyville. Granted, he’d only been here a couple weeks, and he’d spent a lot of time working, but still. It felt good to just enjoy himself with his friends.
“This place looks good guys,” a voice said from above. Zephyr glanced up and felt his good mood start to evaporate. The six Royal Guard pegasi hovered above, and one of them was pointing to the cluster of tables next to theirs. They dropped out of the sky, landing heavily by their table. Their armor clanged slightly from the impact.
Across the table, Zephyr saw Pinkie frown slightly, but it was gone so quick he thought he imagined it. The others in the group gave looks of annoyance, but mostly ignored the guards’ presence.
One of the guards wore a centurion’s helm, indicating he was probably the commanding officer. The officer was tall, broad, and solid black; easily the biggest of the group. He nodded at the others, who began occupying the seats near the table. Two of them deposited boxes of food, which the others began to pick through.
“Hah! The locals are such wimps!” the white guard from the flower stand chuckled. “No spines at all. Not even their mayor.”
“Yeah,” agreed another. “This is the life. All you gotta do is puff your chest and talk about defending freedoms, and they fall on their knees to please you!”
The officer took a long swig from a flask at his hip. “Enjoy it while it lasts,” he told them. His voice had a deep rumble to it. “We won’t be here long. Unless some kind of major disaster hits here, we’ll be shipping out to Fillydelphia by the end of the week.”
The other guards let out a collective groan. “Dang,” a skinny, cream-colored guard said. “That place is full of lowlifes. We’ll be lucky if we get a day off in the next two years!” He took a bite out of an apple.
“Forget that!” the white one replied. “I don’t know about you guys, but I like it here just fine. All we need is to find trouble, right?” He winked at them. “I’m sure we’ll find plenty of trouble if we look.” The other guards began laughing, and even the officer gave a chuckle.
Zephyr, who’d been listening in, gritted his teeth. Keep calm, the voice from before told him. Just help everypony stay out of trouble for a week, and they’ll be gone. “What do you think Zephyr?” Twilight asked him.
“Huh…what?” Zephyr said in surprise. He realized that he hadn’t been paying attention. “Sorry. I was spacing out for a moment. What were you saying?”
“I was just saying that with the start of summer just a month away, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna will probably visit Ponyville soon,” Twilight repeated patiently. “I’m sure they’d love to meet you in person.”
“I don’t know,” Zephyr hesitated. “I’m not very good at formalities. Besides, I think I’m a little too…outspoken to meet the princesses.
“Are you kidding?” Rainbow Dash piped up. “If anything, you’re too nice! Talking to you is like talking to Fluttershy! Every other word out of your mouth is some polite apology, or friendly offer. You should just chill, like me, and say what’s on your mind more often.” Zephyr rolled his eyes and opened his mouth to respond.
“Hey look! It’s Derpy!” Pinkie shouted, pointing.
The group as one swiveled their heads to see the grey mailmare approach. Derpy Hooves was flapping her way over to them haphazardly. She began to lose control, and her flight path wavered. She would’ve hit the table, if not for the purple glow that surrounded her and halted her progress.
“Thanks, Twilight!” Derpyhooves stated loudly.
“No problem. Just, be more careful next time,” Twilight replied, setting her down gently.
“Sure thing, Twilight!” The grey mail-mare gave a small salute. “Oh!” she started. “I almost forgot! You’ve got a letter!” Derpy stuck her head into her bag. “Here it is!” she called, coming out with a scroll in her mouth.
Twilight took the scroll with her magic and undid the seal. “It’s from my brother!” she cried after quickly scanning the letter. “It says he’s back from his month-long honeymoon with Cadence. He thinks they’ll be able to make routine visits to Ponyville in a few months!”
“Wait, you have a brother?” Zephyr asked, caught off-guard. “And he was on a honeymoon?” She nodded.
“Don’t worry, we were surprised too,” Rainbow Dash chuckled. “Twilight’s big bro is the Captain of the Royal Guard, and just last month he got hitched with Princess Me-ammo…Mey-armor….uh…Princess Cadence,” she chose at last, giving up on the formal name. “Actually, just a couple weeks before you got here. That wedding was awesome!”
Twilight rolled her eyes at Rainbow Dash’s explanation. “Do you recall hearing about the Royal Wedding, Zephyr?” she queried.
Zephyr wracked his brain. “Vaguely,” came his uncertain response. “I think I remember something about a big ruckus at the ceremony. Why, what happened? Anything interesting?”
“You could say that,” Twilight answered wryly. With the help of the others, Twilight briefly summarized the events of the wedding. She failed to keep all of the smugness out of her voice when she got to the part about being right the whole time, but otherwise gave a complete and accurate account. Zephyr’s jaw quickly hit the table, and didn’t manage to close itself until a moment after they were done. Derpy Hooves, who had stuck around and listened (or at least, they guessed she was listening), applauded at the end.
“So, just to recap,” Zephyr began, “Your brother, Captain of the Royal Guard, instead of marrying an alicorn princess, almost married a super-powerful queen of creatures called changelings. This queen actually went heads-up against Princess Celestia and won, and her army invaded Canterlot. Twilight found the real Princess Cadence, who helped rescue her brother Shining Armor from some weird hypnosis, and the two of them blasted the entire changeling army out of Canterlot and into the wild blue yonder. Did I miss anything?” he asked incredulously.
“Yeah, you forgot about my Sonic Rainboom at the wedding!” blustered Rainbow Dash. The group fell to chuckles.
Pinkie Pie inhaled sharply, startling the whole table. “Oh my gosh! We’re almost out of time for lunch!” she exclaimed. “We’ve gotta wrap this up, or we won’t have time for the party!” She began to inhale what remained of her sandwich.
Derpy Hooves also gave a start. “Oh no! I’m late for my other deliveries!” the blonde mail-mare cried. “Thanks for the story, but I have to go. Bye!” she ran off, waving back at them instead of watching where she was going. Her path carried her right by the guards’ table.
Zephyr only heard a crash, and the sound of papers flying everywhere. He turned around and saw the mail-mare sprawled in a pile of overnturned chairs, with letters scattered all across the ground. The guards were laughing uproariously. Zephyr felt his blood boil.
“Guess you should watch where you’re going!” one of the guards guffawed.
“Yeah. You never know when something might trip you up!” jeered another.
Now take it easy, big guy, the calm, rational part of his mind warned. They deserve everything you want to do to them, but you can’t. Just take nice, deep breaths. Biting his tongue and tightening his shoulders, Zephyr walked over and helped Derpy stand back up. Wordlessly, he began scooping up the scattered contents of her carrier bag.
“Whoops,” she mumbled, embarrassed. “Guess I tripped again.” She also started gathering the numerous letters and messages.
“Maybe, if you got those eyes fixed, you could see straight!” taunted the slender white guard.
“And just what is wrong with her eyes!?” demanded an angry, high-pitched voice. Zephyr glanced over and nearly dropped the letters he’d collected in surprise. Pinkie Pie stood on the guards’ table, glaring nose-to-nose at the guard that had spoken. Her normal carefree grin was altogether absent, and a vicious snarl replaced it. “Well?!” The guard gulped slightly.
“Yeah!” Rainbow Dash joined in, zipping over. “And which one of you bozos tripped her?” She honed in on the commander, who still sat grinning. “Was it you? Huh?” she growled, poking him hard in the chest.
Zephyr gave the stack of letters to Derpy Hooves, and motioned for her to leave. She nodded gratefully, and flew off as fast as she could. Zephyr turned his attention to the guards.
“Congratulations,” grinned the officer. “You’ve just assaulted an officer of the law.”
“Now hold on just one minute!” Applejack hollered, walking over. “Ain’t no way you’re gonna charge Rainbow Dash with a phony crime like that!”
“So I can add you for obstructing justice?” he rumbled coolly.
Fluttershy and Spike cowered under a table from the guards. Rarity did not come forward to confront them like the others, but instead glared balefully at them from a distance. Twilight, on the other hoof, was perfectly content to engage the enemy. “What the hoof is wrong with you?” she demanded imperiously. “The Royal Guard isn’t supposed to act like this! When my brother hears about you, he’ll—”
“Oh no! Your brother! Now we’re in trouble boys!” the officer snorted mockingly. Twilight’s teeth clenched together.
Zephyr decided he’d better step in, before things got bad. He rushed over and interposed himself between the angry mares and the guards. “Calm down everypony!” he told his friends. “Just calm down.” He looked at the guards, focusing on the officer. “We don’t want any trouble.” Rainbow Dash opened her mouth to protest, but Zephyr silenced her with a look that could freeze water.
“What’s the matter?” teased the white guard. “Too much of a coward to stand up like your little filly friends?”
Zephyr bristled slightly at the word ‘coward’. Keep it together, cautioned the voice. Don’t let them get to you. They’re only words. “We don’t want any trouble,” he repeated out loud. “In fact, we were just about to leave. Come on everypony,” he ordered.
Nopony looked very happy about it, but slowly, they complied. They turned around and began to walk away. Fluttershy and Spike came out from under the table to join them.
“Not so fast,” the officer commanded. “Hey, I’m talking to you, tough guy. Did your father raise you to be a gutless wimp? Or was he just the only example you had?”
Zephyr stopped cold. Just a little further. Don’t give in! pleaded the logical part of his brain. He looked back a moment. “Leave us alone,” he told him, his voice like a drawn blade.
“I’d love to,” sneered the guard. “But your pretty little friend with the rainbow mane still has an assault charge to answer for.” Rainbow Dash turned and glared at him. “Of course, she’s such a pretty little thing. Feisty, too.” He walked over to her. “I’m sure we could come to some kind of…understanding.”
“Beat it, creep!” she yelled at him. She turned to leave.
“Do you know what the penalty is for assaulting an officer?” he grinned, sidling up to her. “Could be up to ten years in prison. Is that what you want?” he asked, laying a wing on her shoulder.
Zephyr didn’t know what happened until it was too late. In the space of a second, he flew from where he stood straight at the guard next to Rainbow Dash. A sickening crunch filled the air as the officer’s jaw shattered from the force of Zephyr’s uppercut. The blow carried him a few feet off the ground, to land bonelessly several yards away. A second later, his centurion’s helmet clattered onto the ground next to him. If the voice of reason in Zephyr’s mind had had hooves, it would have thrown them up in the air in exasperation.
For a moment, nopony moved. Guards and mares alike were completely stunned. Zephyr just hovered where he had hit the guard, blinking at the sudden ache in his front right hoof. His own surprised expression twisted into a feral snarl, and he turned to face the other guards.
“Firstly,” he whispered coldly, “nopony messes with my friends. Ever.” He set himself on the ground, and began stalking towards the five guards. “Second, my father is a hundred times braver than a pack of craven, meat-headed bullies that pass for guards. Third,” he continued, increasing in volume. “This,” he shouted, pointing at the downed officer, “is the correct example of assaulting an officer of the law!”
The shock paralyzing the guards abruptly ceased, and their stunned expressions became angry. “He attacked the Sergeant!” the white guard yelled. “Get ‘em!” With a cry, the five guards still standing leapt at Zephyr, trying to bury him under their numbers.
They landed in a heap, piling on nothing but air and each other. “For my next trick,” Zephyr announced casually from behind them, “I’ll be resisting arrest.” He gave his friends a quick salute, before lifting off and blasting down the street away from them.
With a few angry curses, the guards managed to disentangle themselves and stand back up. “After him!” one of the darker guards called. As a unit, they took off and began chasing the grey pegasus.
Zephyr had been angry at first, but now he was enjoying himself immensely. He avoided going full speed to give the guards a chance to catch up. I’m already probably getting arrested; might as well have some fun first, he thought wryly. After a moment of stalling, he was rewarded with a glimpse of the five guards flying after him in a line. Let’s see what these jerks can do.
He started off easy. First, he merely dodged in and around the pedestrians in the streets of Ponyville. The guards easily evaded the stalls, benches, and ponies that Zephyr maneuvered them in to. So he began ducking into alleyways and circling buildings. The guards persistently maintained their dogged pursuit, showing no signs of fatigue.
Alright, they pass basics, Zephyr noted. Let’s make things more interesting. Zephyr grinned, and flew up into the skies above Ponyville, drawing the guards along behind him. First, let’s split them apart. After reaching a few hundred feet of height, he began flying in large circles, the five armored pegasi following in his wake. ‘Round and ‘round, faster and faster, they flew in the same circle, until the wind began to pick up. Clouds began to gather and darken directly above the six of them. Small crashes of thunder began to fill the air.
The guards were soon caught up in the wind tunnel they’d created, unable to exit the path of the spinning vortex they were feeding. As the gusts grew stronger and stronger, their line began to stretch. Zephyr watched with satisfaction as first one, then another of the fools lost control and were tossed away by the small tornado. He halted his rotation abruptly, stopping the winds and leaving the final guard spinning drunkenly in place.
The guard lurched towards him, but dizzy as he was he did not even come close to grabbing him. Zephyr, on the other hoof, caught him by the back legs as he sailed past, and began spinning him around. After a few rotations, he let go of the guard, launching him into one his comrades who’d managed to recover quickly. The two fell from the sky in a heap, landing in a large tree.
Zephyr saw two more guards closing in on him from another direction and took off. One of his pursuers concentrated on getting closer to him, which he allowed, while the other increased his altitude slightly, probably to strike from a higher position. After leading them a short distance, they flew over a small pond on the outskirts of Ponyville. He flew a backward somersault, which the closer guard foolishly emulated. In the brief instant that Zephyr was upside-down, he saluted a very surprised guard: the one that had taken the higher altitude. The guard tried to brake and narrowly avoided colliding with the grey pegasus. The guard that followed him in the loop was not so lucky. They slammed into each other and fell screaming into the pond. Zephyr grinned when he heard two loud splashes.
He stopped his flight, coming to a hover over the pond, and searched for the last of his opponents. Scanning the skies, he finally caught a glimpse of the white guard from the flower stall hurtling towards him. In no hurry, Zephyr floated to a nearby cloud and hovered next to it. A few seconds later, the white pegasus came to a halt thirty feet away.
“You think you’re pretty tough, don’t ya punk,” he said, panting slightly. “Let’s see how tough you are when I’m done with you!” He prepared to dive forward.
“Quick question,” Zephyr interjected, raising a hoof. “That armor you’re wearing, what’s it made of?” The guard just looked at him dumbly. “I hope it’s not metal.”
The guard snorted derisively. “What’s it look like? Gingerbread?” he smarted off. “Of course it’s metal! What are you, an idiot?”
Zephyr gave a sigh. “Pity,” he stated. “That means this is gonna hurt a lot worse.” He flashed the white pegasus a grin before turning and applying a well-placed buck to the cloud next to him. Thunder roared from the cloud, and a crackling, sizzling lightning bolt blasted out at the guard. At that range, he never had a chance.
The bolt hit the breastplate of his armor, and electricity surged through every feather, bone, and cell of the guard’s body, lighting him up like a light bulb and zapping his crew-cut mane and tail into wild, unruly messes. The smell of burnt feathers filled the air as the charred pegasus plummeted to join his fellows in the pond.
Zephyr felt a tap on his shoulder and spun, guard up. Instead of an enemy, Rainbow Dash hovered in front of him. “What the heck do you think you’re doing?!” she yelled at him. “Don’t you realize the trouble you’re gonna be in when they catch you?”
“If they catch me,” Zephyr corrected. “And frankly, the way they’re fighting, it doesn’t seem very likely. Where are the others?”
“They ran to get Madame Mayor and tell her what happened. I think Twilight said something about offering sanctuary or something,” she informed him. She shook her head. “Why’d you have to go and do that? I was about to clock that jerk before you hit him.” Rainbow Dash fixed him with grateful look. “Thanks, by the way. How did you do that? I never even saw you move!”
Zephyr just shrugged. “You got me. One second he’s threatening you, the next he’s on the ground and my hoof is aching. The rest is a blur.” He caught motion out of the corner of his eye. When he turned to look, he could see some of the guards shaking off the beating he’d just given them. “Uh-oh. Looks like they’re ready for more,” he remarked. “Better get out of here before they slap you with some charge for being an accomplice.”
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “Just…don’t get yourself caught, okay?” she requested. Zephyr found her concern touching.
“No problem. Let me know if that sanctuary thing pans out. Oh, and tell Pinkie Pie I’m sorry I ruined the Fun-a-thon,” Zephyr told her, before taking off. Alright, he thought, time for round two.
* * * *
Another half-hour found Zephyr, panting slightly, cornered in an alley by six ragged, bruised, wheezing guards. The officer had regained consciousness and joined in the chase some time ago, with no real effect on the beating the pursuers were taking. Apparently somepony had healed his jaw too, because he addressed Zephyr with perfect clarity.
“Give…up,” breathed the officer heavily. “There’s no…escape.”
Zephyr didn’t answer. He just dug in his hooves and braced himself to spring in any direction he needed. The guards closed in on him, spreading themselves out as much as they could in the narrow alleyway. The officer and the soot-covered white guard trailed behind the two lead guards, while the last two hovered a short distance in the air to intercept any flight attempts.
“Heya Zephyr!” giggled a voice in the alley. Everypony was taken by surprise as Pinkie Pie’s head emerged from a trash can near Zephyr. “Twilight says you should come to Madame Mayor’s house ASAP! Oh, and don’t worry about the Fun-a-thon. We can finish it some other time!” She disappeared back into the trash can, where Zephyr was sure she would not be if he checked.
He turned towards the guards. “Well, gentlecolts, it’s been fun,” he saluted. “But it looks like I’ll be leaving.” Springing into motion, he dove at the nearest guard at full speed. The guard flinched, and Zephyr sailed straight past into the wall. He hit it hooves first, and used it as a pivot to launch himself at the white pegasus diagonal from him.
What followed was a short game of pinball, where Zephyr bounced violently through the alley, slamming into guards whenever he could. The officer took several shots to bring down, landing in a heap on top of his troops. They groaned under the weight.
“I don’t know what disgusts me more,” Zephyr declared. “That the Royal Guard would enlist scum like you in their ranks, or that their soldiers could be this pathetic. Later suckers.” He lifted off from the ground, and began racing towards Madame Mayor’s house along the streets of Ponyville.
Flying as fast as he could, the building came in sight quickly. Just a few more blocks, and I’m home free, he thought smugly. He could see his friends in front of the house waving him in. He didn’t see the cart that moved out in front of him at the last intersection, pulled by a very surprised Big Macintosh.
Zephyr crashed face-first into the cart, knocking it completely over. His momentum carried him end over end along the street, until at last he came to a rest lying on his back. His vision swam with colors that moved and changed in time with the throbbing in his head. It didn’t occur to him to move, so he just stayed there until he could make out the sky again. Suddenly, it was blotted out by six battered faces glaring down at him. “Hey guys,” Zephyr managed weakly. “Could you move? You’re blocking out the bunny.” He pointed at a cloud shape. The six faces grinned unpleasantly.
* * * *
The guards led Zephyr down a long hallway in the Canterlot Palace. The chains of the shackles on his hooves and wings (which had begun to chafe after six hours of use) rattled with every step. As they passed each of the oversized palace windows, Zephyr looked out at the golden sunset.
He had to resist the urge to moan in pain with every step they took. His captors had not been happy about being humiliated by a single pegasus, much less being completely trounced in a fight. They’d beaten him thoroughly the moment he was out of sight of anypony else. Of course, they’d carefully avoided leaving any visible marks. His legs now throbbed counterpoint to the beat of his headache. It hurt to breathe, and he thought one of his ribs might be cracked. Thankfully, they’d left his wings mostly unharmed.
They came at length to a large door with a guard posted on either side. The officer nodded at the sentries and knocked on the door. “Come in,” said a voice from the other side. The officer opened the door, and the five other guards dragged him in. They closed the door behind them.
Inside was a dimly lit office with two walls taken up by file cabinets. Three desks occupied the room: two close to the front and one larger one at the back of the room. The two closer desks were vacant, though it was clear by the pile of unsorted papers that they saw plenty of daily use. Behind the far desk, however, sat a powerfully-built white unicorn with a cobalt-blue mane wearing an ornate red uniform. He looked up from the stack of papers he was sorting and stared at Zephyr.
“So, this is the troublemaker?” he asked wearily.
The officer saluted, and nodded. “Affirmative Captain!” he confirmed. “This pegasus assaulted six of the Royal Guard and proceeded to resist arrest!”
“Is that right?” the stallion behind the desk asked. “And he’s responsible for all of this?” He waved a hoof at the various injuries of the six guards, most of whom wore bandages. The officer nodded again. “Remove his bonds and leave him here for questioning.”
The officer blinked in surprise. “But sir—”
“I assure you I can handle him myself if necessary,” the captain stated flatly. “You and your squad wait outside until you’re sent for. Then you can tell me why six of the Royal Guard took such a beating from one pony. Is that clear?” He stared the officer down.
“Yes sir,” the officer replied stiffly. He nodded at the others, who quickly undid the shackles chaining Zephyr. Then, grumbling slightly, they left the room, closing the door behind them.
Zephyr and the captain sat in silence for a moment, taking each other’s measure. After examining Zephyr to his satisfaction, the captain sighed heavily. “First day back on the job,” he muttered, loudly enough for Zephyr to hear. “I was going to just take it easy, put in my hours, and go home to my beautiful wife. Instead,” he grumbled, “I’m stuck staying late to deal with somepony who’s supposedly assaulted six of my guards, tried to resist arrest, and generally managed to make things much more difficult.”
“Sorry,” Zephyr apologized sincerely. “I never meant to keep you here. In fact,” he added, “if it’s any consolation, I had every intention of avoiding capture for at least a couple days. It was just dumb luck that they caught me in the first place.”
The captain just stared at him a moment, before breaking up into a fit of chuckles. “Well,” he managed, “it’s nice to know you tried to be considerate.” He held out a hoof. “I’m Shining Armor, Captain of the Guard.”
“Zephyr. Nice to meet you,” Zephyr greeted. “Though I wish we hadn’t met, given the circumstances.” A pause. “Wait, did you say Shining Armor? Are you Twilight’s brother?”
That caught Shining Armor off-guard. “You know Twily?” he asked. Zephyr nodded. “I guess that means you’re that new friend of hers the Princess mentioned. Great,” he sighed. “That makes this even more fun. Now I might be dealing with an angry little sister on top of everything else.” He fixed Zephyr with a pleading look. “Please tell me that you didn’t do it, or that there’s been some kind of mistake. It would make all this much easier.”
Zephyr shook his head sadly. “Afraid not,” he admitted. “I did it. I pretty much mopped the floor with those senseless thugs you call soldiers.”
“While the evidence says otherwise,” Shining Armor started, “you don’t strike me as the type of pony to attack, well, anypony without some kind of reason.” He looked curiously at Zephyr. “So why did you attack them?”
Zephyr gritted his teeth slightly. “Because they were bullies,” he stated simply. “Because they were using their uniforms to intimidate and extort the citizens of Ponyville. And, they were harassing my friends,” he finished with a growl.
“These are serious accusations, Zephyr,” Shining Armor said, genuinely surprised. “Such conduct, if it occurred, is grounds for dismissal from the Royal Guard.” He sat for a moment in thought. “We’ll need to investigate these claims. If they’re true, then you might get your charges dismissed in court. Until then, I’m afraid we’ll have to detain you in—“ He cut off as a knock sounded on the door. He traded looks with Zephyr. “Come in,” he called.
A green earth pony, probably some kind of messenger, entered quickly and darted over to Shining Armor. She whispered in his ear for a second, and his eyes went wide with shock. The messenger left just as quickly as she entered.
“Well, looks like you won’t be going to court after all,” informed Shining Armor. “Apparently, Princess Celestia wants to deal with you personally. I’m to escort you to her audience chamber. Immediately.”
“Is that a good thing?” Zephyr asked.
“There’s no way of knowing,” came the answer. “All I can say is that it’s out of my hooves. I’m just following orders at this point.” The unicorn shrugged. “Either way, I wish you luck. As much as I hope you’re wrong about the behavior of my recruits, I hope you’re acquitted. You seem like a pretty nice guy.”
“You too. Thanks for removing the shackles, by the way. Those things are murder on the joints.”
“Anytime.” Shining Armor walked over to the door and held it open. “This way, please.”
* * * *
If the rest of the palace was impressive, the audience room was downright humbling. The chamber was enormous, and every step echoed hollowly in its emptiness. As Zephyr carefully avoided looking at the figure standing on the raised dais at the other end of the room, he took note of the enormous stained glass windows. Richly detailed and brightly colored, many of them portrayed scenes from history, most of which he wasn’t familiar with. The ones that really caught his eye were the windows closest to the far end of the room.
They depicted the battles against Discord, and Nightmare Moon. More importantly, they depicted his friends wielding the Elements of Harmony and defeating these deadly foes. Just seeing them, even in effigy, helped calm his nerves and slow his heartbeat.
“Welcome, Zephyr,” said a rich, gentle voice. “I’ve been expecting you.”
Reluctantly, he turned his head to look directly at the owner of the voice. The first description of Princess Celestia he could think of was larger-than-life. Standing on the dais, she towered over him like a giant. Even had she been standing right beside him, he would still have been completely dwarfed by her. Standing before him, head held high and long mane flowing, she cut an imposing figure.
The second description would be statuesque. She was marble-white, with perhaps the slightest shading of pink mixed in. She was every inch a regal, benevolent ruler. Zephyr inclined his head and said nothing.
“As you requested, Princess,” saluted Shining Armor. “He’s been charged with—”
“I am aware,” she cut him off, her tone amused. “Don’t worry, I’ll take over from here. Dismissed, Captain.” Shining Armor saluted again, and turned to leave. He gave Zephyr one last backwards glance before he walked away. “And now you,” Celestia said, turning back to Zephyr. “I wanted to meet you in person, but I confess this was not what I expected.”
You and me both, he thought wryly. Out loud, “Forgive me, your highness. I hope you don’t take this as a reflection on Twilight.”
Celestia gave a soft, tinkling laugh. “Actually, it’s that very reason you’re here now. Twilight Sparkle is not one to make friends with thugs or bullies,” she explained. “Therefore, I believe you might be telling the truth. Does that hurt?”
He’d shifted from hoof to hoof, and couldn’t quite hide the wince of pain. “It’s nothing, Princess,” he replied casually. She raised an eyebrow, and a small orb of yellow light blinked into existence at the tip of her horn. It floated down to Zephyr and buried itself in his chest. A feeling of warmth spread through his body, and his injuries numbed. A sigh of relief escaped him as the aches and pains vanished.
“Nothing?” she repeated. He smiled sheepishly. “Now, I want your side of events,” she told him, getting to the point. “What happened? Why would you attack members of the Royal Guard? Everything, from the beginning.”
“Alright, I’ll tell you as much as I—”
She cut him short with a raised hoof. “Telling will take too long, and will not, I think, give me what I need.” She began descending the steps towards him. “I do not often do this, but for cases like this, it is much easier for me to see for myself what happened.” She stopped right in front of him.
Her horn flared with a yellow magical pulse, and a low hum seemed to fill the wide room. Zephyr couldn’t say why for certain, but something in him told him he should be trembling, running, screaming, cowering; anything but just standing there dumbstruck. Then, without so much as a by-your-leave, Celestia tilted her head and touched the tip of her horn onto his forehead.
* * * *
Disjointed images flashed in Zephyr’s vision. He was dimly aware that the images were familiar, but he couldn’t understand why.
“They are your memories,” whispered a voice. “This is your mind’s eye.”
The voice was right. Upon closer inspection, each image that flashed before him was something he remembered. He watched for a few minutes, gradually regaining his senses and becoming more lucid. As Zephyr began to recall where he was and what he’d been doing, he became aware of a second presence, presumably the owner of the voice.
“You don’t belong here,” he said or thought. He couldn’t tell which. With an effort, he tried to push the other consciousness out of his mind. Instead of leaving, however, the other being forced their way in, seeming to crush him against some undefined surface.
“Be still,” Celestia told him firmly. There was no mistaking the voice this time. “I am not here to fight you, remember?” Zephyr felt as if she were standing on him, hoof on his throat. “If you do not let me in freely, you will hurt yourself.”
Zephyr ceased his struggling, and the pressure of the other mind lessened. “That’s better,” Celestia’s voice echoed in his mind. “Now, show me what happened.”
Unbidden, memories of the day appeared before him, playing out in short, movie-like segments. It reminded Zephyr of the film reels Doc had occasionally shown him. The stream of images flickered briefly to Doc disentangling him from a mound of film as a foal before returning to the day’s events.
Celestia seemed to control how fast or slow the images played, skimming over some parts and pausing for great amounts of time on others. Fast or slow, every memory they saw evoked all the thoughts and feelings Zephyr had felt at the time. Pain, joy, confusion, things he didn’t even recall feeling flooded his thoughts. Celestia seemed only mildly interested in the doings of the guards, and more involved with the time he spent with his friends (although she did watch the fight with the guards in its entirety).
The memories came in no particular order, so it took a while for Zephyr to realize she was looking at different days as well. A few more moments confirmed that memories from the two weeks he’d been in Ponyville were also being examined. “That’s not important,” he informed her dutifully. There was no response.
More and more images passed before them, unrelated to the fight. Zephyr tried to direct his thoughts towards what he thought was relevant, but Celestia resisted the pull. Irritated, he again tried to push her out, convinced she’d seen enough. A sensation of annoyance emanated from her mind, and the pressure that had crushed him earlier returned.
As he flailed helplessly, the flashbacks began to go back even further, eventually focusing on his first day in Ponyville. “No,” he growled at her. “You don’t need any more.” The images came on. Zephyr grew desperate to be free of the pressure, desperate to have Celestia’s mind gone, and desperate to cease this endless torrent of relived emotions. The day he met Rainbow Dash came into focus. Anger, burning and primal, filled him. “I SAID LEAVE!” he yelled, throwing all his strength against Celestia’s presence.
A flicker of surprise leaked through her mind before it suddenly vanished. The memories ceased their flow, and for a moment blissful emptiness was all that filled his view.
* * * *
Zephyr panted as his eyes came into focus. She knows, was his first, wild thought. She knows. Everything. He stared Celestia directly in the eye. Her face was serene, giving no indication at all that he hadn’t merely imagined the whole thing. But her eyes weighed him. Measured him. Judged him. And I hate her for it, he decided.
“Did you see what you needed?” he asked, intentionally omitting any kind of title.
She stared at him another moment, and smiled. “Why, yes. I believe I did,” she answered candidly. “And I am perfectly confident in the judgment I am about to make.”
Zephyr took a deep breath, and waited for the hammer to fall. Celestia opened her mouth to speak, but stopped short as the door at the other end of the audience chamber slammed open. A sky-blue pegasus came hurtling through, leaving a rainbow-colored streak behind her. Zephyr felt his spirit lift just seeing her.
“WAAAIIITTT!” cried Rainbow Dash as she sailed through the air. Braking heavily, she came to a stop five feet short of the princess, and dropped to the floor into deep bow. “Don’t punish him yet, Your Highness!” she panted. She turned to face the door. “Guys, hurry up!” she called.
A second later, Twilight, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Rarity, and Fluttershy ran into the room. They closed around Zephyr and buried him in a huge group hug. Another second and Madame Mayor of all ponies came wheezing behind them. Shining Armor followed them in, closing the door behind him. “Sorry, Princess,” he apologized. “They demanded to see you immediately. Said it was urgent.”
“It’s quite alright, Captain,” she assured him. “But please, tell me what brings you here my little ponies.”
“Beggin’ yer pardon, Princess,” Applejack spoke up. “We’re here ta try and clear Zephyr’s name.”
“It really wasn’t his fault, Your Majesty,” Fluttershy added.
“Yeah! It was those meanie-face guards!” Pinkie Pie chimed in.
“Indeed. Those ruffians needed to be taught a lesson,” agreed Rarity.
Twilight waved them all to silence. “It’s true, Princess,” she said with conviction. “The guards were mistreating ponies all over Ponyville!”
Madame Mayor, who had been gasping for air, stepped forward and spoke up. “Your Highness,” she bowed, still breathing heavily. “With all…due respect…I ask…that you…remove those…ruffians…from Ponyville,” she panted. She produced a sheet of paper. On it, Zephyr saw dozens of names, many of which he recognized as ponies in Ponyville. “This,” Madame Mayor continued, “is a petition…from the citizens…of Ponyville. Included is…a list of grievances.”
Celestia levitated the paper from the Madame Mayor’s grasp and brought it close. “My my,” she remarked, scanning the document. “This is quite the list. And all of these ponies also wish to see Zephyr released?”
Zephyr’s eyes widened as Madame Mayor nodded. It had not been a short list. “Every last one, your highness,” she responded. “Zephyr has been an exemplary citizen, helping out anypony who asks. Everypony on that list had nothing but good to say about him. I myself wrote and signed the petition.” She smiled at Zephyr.
Celestia looked at Zephyr and gave a small smile of her own. “This, more than anything else, has convinced me that my judgment is the correct one. Zephyr,” she addressed him. His friends held their breath. His heartbeat pounded in his ears. “I find you completely innocent of the charges you stand accused of.” Everypony, even Shining Armor, erupted into cheers. Zephyr again found himself surrounded in a group hug by his friends. “Furthermore, I’m ordering the immediate removal of the Royal Guard from Ponyville, and the dismissal of the six troublemakers stationed there. See to it please, Captain.”
“Right away, Princess,” he acknowledged. He gave Twilight a quick hug, and turned to leave.
“Before you go,” Celestia stopped him, “There is one other thing. Zephyr?” she asked, calling his attention. His friends quieted themselves to listen. “You’ve been working on saving money to buy a house, haven’t you?” He nodded. “But from what I hear, you haven’t been able to find steady work. Would you like to enlist in the Royal Guard? Several positions have just opened up, and I’m certain you would do well.”
The offer caught Zephyr by surprise. Me? A Royal Guard?! he thought incredulously. I’ve never been in a fight in my…, he paused. Oh. Right. “I’m not sure I’m qualified, Princess,” he answered slowly. Or that I want to do it. Especially for you, he mused, still bitter from the mind-reading thing.
“Sure you are!” Shining Armor told him. “You took on six guards, with no training, and in the defense of your friends. I’d say you’ve got what it takes. A few years, and you’ll probably be a decorated officer.”
A few years?! he thought, reeling. He looked at his friends, seeing his shocked expression mirrored on their faces.
“Well, you’d certainly be better than those despicable brutes,” Rarity encouraged him. The others added their own agreement, with the exception of Rainbow Dash.
She just looked at him, shrugged, and said “Do what you want to. It’s your choice, right?”
What I want? Do I even know? he wondered. He looked back and forth between his friends. Yes, he decided. I do. “No deal, Princess,” he answered. “Sorry, but I don’t have it in me to leave Ponyville, or my friends.”
Rather than disappointed, she seemed satisfied. “I expected no less,” she said.
* * * *
Zephyr yawned as they rode the train back to Ponyville. His friends had been assailing him with questions from the moment they left the audience room. The queries ranged from what happened when the guards took him to what he’d done while they were chasing him. He patiently told them everything that happened, including the mind-reading incident. Zephyr struggled to keep a moderate tone during that part.
“Wow!” exclaimed Twilight. “I’ve only seen her do that a few times! What was it like?”
“Like somepony was digging around inside my skull,” he grumbled, taking her aback. He sighed. “Sorry,” he apologized. “It’s just…I don’t like it when somepony intrudes on my thoughts and feelings without my permission.”
“Well she is the Princess, ya know,” Rainbow Dash pointed out. “It’s not like you can just tell her no.”
Zephyr rolled his eyes, and looked over at Madame Mayor. She appeared to be nodding off. He walked over, and she started awake as he got close. “Did you need something, Zephyr?” she asked kindly.
“I just realized I never thanked you for helping me out back there,” he explained. “You, or all those ponies that signed the petition.”
“Think nothing of it,” she puffed. “Though if you really want to thank me, that window still needs fixing.” Zephyr laughed, and she chuckled as well. “I am perhaps a little too old to be racing through the palace halls, but oh well.” She nodded toward the others. “It was them who convinced me to help. Between you and your friends, I worked up the courage to put my hoof down. I believe you made the right choice earlier,” she said.
He looked back at his friends, who were watching Pinkie Pie re-enact his fight with the guards. She got to the part where he’d zapped the white guard and spasmed comically. Everypony laughed, and Zephyr gave a small chuckle of his own. “So do I,” he told Madame Mayor.