Letters From a Little Princess Monster

by Georg

6. Breadcrumbs - Part Two

Full of books and fine learning is he
Standing tall as it possibly could be
Her name everypony knows, as her reputation grows
For Trixie lives in the Golden Oak ______

Monster peeked out from under the cardboard box much like a shy turtle, looking between her encouraging friends and the huge tree that shadowed cool darkness over her box. In the distance, she could see the charred stubby structure of Town Hall as ponies erected scaffolding and went about the business of reconstruction. It reminded her far too much of her blurred memories of the changeling’s hive, blasted to tiny splinters and green goo by her uncontrolled power. There was an air much like the hive around the hollow oak tree, filled with power and potential. Each book was a tiny fraction of a pony’s life, written down with ink on thin flammable paper. Or was in inflammable? She got them confused. It triggered a response that she could not resist, and a faint purple glow filtered out of the holes in the box as she wrote.

... the things we do that hurt ponies, can they be forgiven? i mean the dark pony hurt ponies long ago, and nopony is alive who felt that now. but i killed hundreds. maybe thousands. how can they forgive me? Tallgrass says i did what i had to do, and that if i had not done it, the changelings would still be trapped in their curse, but that does not change what i did.

“Hey. Menace.” The cardboard box rustled, and a light pink glow lifted it off Monster. She blinked in the unexpected brightness and looked up at an uncomfortable Trixie. “C’mon inside. You’re driving away the customers.”

The six little friends all trooped into the empty Golden Oak Library after Trixie, lining up nervously on the edge of the rug in front of a series of six nametags. Behind Trixie, Spike paused in his job of reshelving books to wave encouragingly from the top of a ladder. A sense of gloom filling the building seemed to drape over Monster, and Trixie started several times on what was obviously a memorized speech before she shook her head vigorously, dislodging one wisp of white mane that landed on the bare floor with a slight click of the little clip that was supposed to attach the extension to what was left of her natural hair.

“IwantedtosayI’msorry,” blurted out Trixie, gaining bright pink cheeks as she turned her face away.

“Huh?” Monster blinked away her tears and reached out for the trembling unicorn, only to have Trixie dash away, throwing a hooffull of cards behind her as she fled up the stairs and slammed the door to the bedroom.

“They’re our library cards,” said Scootaloo picking up a card and wincing. “Ouch. They’re brand new, still have the sharp edge to them.”

“You’ve got a library card now,” said Sweetie Belle, holding the card out in front of her. “It’s got a kind of fuzzy picture and everything on it. Twilight Sparkle.”

Monster twitched. “Not Twilight. Monster. Monsters hurt ponies. Monster hurt Trixie.”

Five little reassuring hooves patting Monster on the back gained a compassionate claw. “You’re not a monster to me,” said the dragon with an extra stroke down her streaked mane. “You hatched me out of my egg. I can still remember it.”

Brilliant rainbow expanding across the sky. Magic bursting in all directions. The explosion of the egg that scattered shell fragments across the room. Green eyes looking so deeply into her soul. Roaring of magic that surrounded, screaming for release, demanding more and more…

“I… remember too. Spike.”

“Doeth thith mean Monthter is a mother?” asked Twist with an insightful look between the dragon and the alicorn filly.

“No, my mother is a dragon,” said Spike. “Princess Celestia raised me in the castle, and I kind of think of her as a mother at times,” he said rather rapidly. “But I’ve always been able to remember Twilight Sparkle as a… big sister, of sorts.”

“Well, who’s Trixie then?” asked Applebloom.

“A bratty older sister who picks on you?” said Featherweight, speaking from experience.

“An annoying older sister who is all overprotective and stuff,” said Sweetie Belle. “Who washes behind your ears even when you don’t need it.”

“Spike, I should get a family photo of the four of you in a nest,” said Featherweight. “If Princess Celestia is kind of your mom, and Twilight is kind of your sister, and Trixie is kind of your sister, we could call it the Elements of Kind-Nest”

There was a brief break where the rest of the fillies engaged in an educational activity with couch cushions to remind Featherweight just why puns were discouraged in the library, ending with a giggling pegasus colt trapped under a couch cushion with Apple Bloom and Twist sitting solidly on top of him to prevent an escape. The dark gloom that had fallen over Monster felt shattered into small pieces from the giggles, and she turned to look up the stairs where Trixie had fled.

“Spike, do you think of Trixie as your sister?” she asked, still slightly off her balance from finding out she had a new little brother with fangs and claws.

“Yeah. Guess I should go up and see what set her off this time.”

“No,” said Monster, putting a hoof on his shoulder as he turned to leave. “Me.”

Trixie lay on the old lumpy mattress in the librarian bedroom and attempted to bury her head beneath the covers. The entire library reeked of elderly pony from the previous resident, now off somewhere in Acapulcolt at a retirement stable with a bunch of other geezer pony stallions and mares. Trixie had stayed in more distasteful hotels across Equestria, even waking up in the occasional Econostall or some flea-bitten dive with an empty warm spot beside her that had once been a stallion claiming to royalty or alcohol-induced true love. But never had she cried in any of them.

Never.

Until now.

Over the years, she had papered over the memories of that horrible day when she had gotten her cutie mark, but seeing that little terrified filly down in the library main room had brought them all cascading back. The burst of rainbow light in the sky. The fire. Giant blocks of stone falling all around. The fraction of a second when she had simultaneously seen a place to hide and the terrified baby dragon. The feeling of Spike’s heart hammering against her chest as she grabbed the little dragon an instant before a block of stone smashed into the supposed sanctuary she had planned on hiding inside. Her muffled shriek of terror as she dragged the two of them into a dark shadow and tried to keep the frightened dragon from crying. The darkness crushing in on all sides.

And worse, it was all her fault. She could still see the terrified purple filly, hiding as the other little fillies and colts went into the testing room. Twilight had only been pretending to read her book, never turning a page as Trixie paced back and forth, practicing her routine. Trixie had been so angry at the little purple filly, shouting in an attempt to transfer some of the gut-clenching tension that was paralyzing her magic to anypony else. When Trixie strode out into the testing room, the little purple filly she left behind was sobbing into her unread book, crying nearly as hard as Trixie a few minutes later, fleeing the room with the unhatched dragon’s egg silently taunting her from behind.

It was her fault Twilight Sparkle cracked under the pressure of the test.

It was her fault Twilight Sparkle had almost died.

It was her fault Canterlot was almost destroyed.

It was her fault.

She had spent her entire life pushing that fault onto others, her teachers, her fellow students, anypony in the vicinity, but now it snapped back at her with all the viciousness of a frayed rubber band. Celestia should have been furious at her instead of accepting the bratty little filly into her heart and teaching Trixie everything she was willing to learn, and even more. Twilight Sparkle should have lashed out at her for stealing her Element of Magic when she returned to the ancient castle, she should have been angry, or even irritated, but no. The little filly who had once been Trixie’s own age had simply gone trotting off with her little friends, wings and all, accepted by her new peers without the slightest bit of concern.

Loved.

Even after all Luna had done, Celestia allowed her back into her life without reservation, loving her with every fiber of her being. It used to infuriate Trixie when she would drag back into the castle, all unkempt and smelling of stale booze only to find Celestia patiently standing in front of her door just as if she had been waiting all the weeks Trixie had been gone. Snacks would be ready, the bath would be run, and the jasmine soap suds all heaped up in fluffy stacks would envelop her in blissful ecstasy. There was never any shouting or discouraging words from the Solar Princess, merely a few words to ask how her trip had been, and where Trixie was to resume her educational schedule. In all probability, Luna was already moved back into her old room with furniture retrieved from storage, awaiting her just the same way as she had stepped away from them so many years ago. Trixie had been in Celestia’s presence for over a decade without ever realizing just how much of a hole Luna had left in her life and her heart. She had always seen the calm, cool Princess of Equestria, reserved and in control, and to see her sobbing with her sister cut Trixie to the core.

Nopony loved Trixie. At best, she was tolerated by Spike and Princess Celestia. And those five other hick ponies from this little town. And even though Zecora seemed more than happy to clop her upside the head for no reason, there was a certain amount of love there too. Even the goofy changeling who still had problems getting his stripes right on his zebra disguise didn’t really hate her, but then again the half-dozen changelings who had decided to stay in Ponyville all had that fuzzy lovey feeling around them anyway, so maybe that explained it.

The door to her bedroom creaked as it opened, yet another thing she needed to have fixed in this ramshackle collapsing pile of tree branches and dusty books she was doomed to spend the rest of her life managing. “Trixie?”

It was exactly the last pony in Equestria she wanted to see. The universe hated Trixie, and this was just the most recent example. Pausing her well-earned tears for a moment, Trixie managed to take a breath and snap, “Go away. The Great and Powerful Trixie is not accepting any visitors.”

The creaking door gave a little thunk as it closed, the broken latch failing to catch. “Not even from your… sister?”

Trixie shuddered and tried to tunnel deeper under her damp covers, surreptitiously wiping the tears from her eyes. “You’ve got your own family, Menace, complete with weird parents. Heck, you’ve got two sets of parents, which will make a heck of a display for Family Appreciation Day at school. Not to mention Prince Consort Shiny Britches and his Pretty Pink Princess sister-in-law for you. What would you need with a washed-up student for a sister?”

The resulting silence drew Trixie’s curiosity, and she peeked out from under the smelly blanket to look at Menace. The little multicolored filly was standing in the middle of the bedroom floor, her chest twitching in and out as she panted in panic while tiny tears began to trickle down her cheeks. “Oh, no,” said Trixie in as reassuring manner as she could while tossing the damp blanket to one side. “Don’t cry. Everypony has embarrassing relatives. My Uncle Homer was once arrested for indecent liberties with a goat, and my Aunt Breezy thinks she’s the reincarnated spirit of Bucephalus⁽*⁾. Spends most of her free time writing military strategy advice letters to Princess Celestia.”

Trixie stopped partway across the bedroom floor before moving up beside the little filly and trying to give her a hug. It was awkward as anything she had ever done before, and that included several birthday parties she had entertained. The little filly just trembled in her grip, never relaxing an iota even after a single word emerged.

“Parents.”

After a few moments of thought, Trixie asked, “You mean Night Light and Twilight Velvet?” A single convulsive twitch at each name only seemed to make the little filly more frightened, and Trixie awkwardly tried to hold the little filly tighter. “Yeah, you haven’t see ‘em in years, have you? Are you afraid they won’t want to come see you now?”

“Dead.”

The word shocked Trixie to the core, and she held Menace at hoofs-length for a moment. “Dead? That can’t be. My parents still exchange Hearth’s Warming cards with them every year.” The reality of the situation sunk in on Trixie with the impact of a well-thrown brick. “Oh. You thought you killed — No! Nopony died when you lost your marbles at the exam. You scared the tar out of me and Spike, and Shiny got a little banged up, but he got his pink bubble up in time to save all the parents and the kids.”

The trembling slowed slightly. “Alive?”

“Happy, hearty, and well. If you want, I can have Spike send a message to Princess Celestia and I’m certain all of your family could make the trip to Ponyville by tonight.” Trixie considered the sudden violent trembling and panting for breath from the little filly. “Or not. They’ve waited this long to see you, so I’m sure they’ll be willing to wait until you’re ready, however long that takes.”

The panic fit slowed and the little filly returned some of the hug, which made an unaccustomed warm spot in Trixie’s chest in addition to the damp spot on her shoulder. She patted the little filly on the head and whispered, “Yeah. Don’t keep things like that bottled up inside. Go ahead and cry it out. You’ll feel better for it.”

They stood together as Monster snuffled into her shoulder for a while, a few mothball-scented kerchiefs retrieved from a nearby dresser keeping both of them from making too much of a mess. It took a long time of leaning into each other as the destructive sounds of little ponies at play in the library downstairs filtered up, until finally the little filly spoke again.

“Thank you, sis.”

“Hey, wait a minute. I told you, I’m not your sister. At best, I’ll be your teacher.” Trixie looked down at the little trembling filly tucked under one foreleg and blinked away a bit of library dust that had somehow lodged in her eye.

“Can’t be both?” Menace poked her nose in that warm spot under a foreleg that tickled Trixie, making her cough to cover up the giggle.

“Well, maybe. Being a teacher is a lot of hard work. Besides, you’ve been out in the woods so much, I’ll bet you don’t even remember how to read.”

The little sniffs that had been coming from the vicinity of her shoulder stopped almost instantly, and little intense purple eyes met Trixie’s with a glare of insulted dignity. “Do too.”

“Really?” Trixie levitated the door open and walked slowly back out into the library with her new ‘student’ following at her side. “Let’s just just go down into the Foal’s Literature section and see.”

(*) Bucephalus the Great (Βουκέφαλος) Ancient Greek King who conquered most of Neighsia from the Ponian Sea to the Horsalayas Mountains. Honestly, you didn’t know that? Go read a book.

Dear Princess Celestia,

I think Twilight Sparkle suffered worse mental injuries than you thought. She’s got some sort of crazy idea in her head that I’m her sister, she’s terrified of meeting any of her real relatives, and her reading comprehension is all over the map. Some things she can barely read at her apparent age level, and some of the advanced spells that I have problems with she just absorbs like nothing.

Please send a certified professional in head injuries and trauma to treat her.

Your former student,
Trixie

P.S. Talk to Spike and tell him not to charge me ten bits for every letter I send. He also isn’t cleaning up the kitchen like he’s supposed to after breakfast. I swear I’ve got a sliver of emerald stuck in one hoof that’s driving me crazy.

P.P.S. How am I supposed to build a hoard if I can’t collect for my services? Besides, we’re supposed to share our jobs in the kitchen, and everytime Trixie cooks, all we get is peanut butter on toast. Yuck!

Dear Trixie, My Dependable Student.

I have passed along your observations to Twilight Sparkle’s relatives, and although they are all quite eager to see her again, they have reluctantly agreed to put off their visits until Twilight is completely ready for them.

I think you underestimate your abilities, as well as those of Twilight Sparkle’s adoptive parents and friends. After all, Zecora has known her for more than a decade, and Tallgrass will be quite able to read her emotional state and provide positive reinforcement as well as a male role model. And of course her friends will be the most critical part of her treatment and reintegration into society.

The Canterlot Library will be forwarding a collection of psychological and physiology books on treatment of injuries such as Twilight’s, and I expect you to study them and assist in her treatment. You may consider it homework.

As for your student stipend, I have directed that it be sent to the town by way of the mayor. From what I understand of the situation, there are a number of repairs that are being conducted on the Ponyville Town Hall that you graciously permitted the town to bill you in recompense. The payments will be deducted before you receive what is left, but I’m sure that the deductions will not last more than a few weeks or even months. Until then, I suggest that you see about getting your friends to help out for the short period until the damages are paid.

Don’t forget to return the favor and repay your debt.

Your Teacher, and Diarch of Equestria
Princess Celestia

P.S. I understand Sweet Apple Acres always has chores that need done. Perhaps you could apply yourself there for a few bits. It’s very good for the back.

Monster trotted back into her house with a farewell wave at her friends in the waning sunlight. Night would soon return to the quiet valley, and there were still a few things she wanted to add to her letter before sending it to — Princess Celestia. Trixie had talked so much about her teacher that there was almost none of the frightened tremble that still wanted to emerge whenever Celestia’s name came to mind. The memory of that first terrible day filled with fire and pain was muted somewhat by Trixie’s explanations of the event from her point of view, the words seeming to cascade out of her new teacher as if under pressure. They fit into gaps in her memory like puzzle pieces, each surviving pony being one less weight of guilt on her heart. There were still moments of that day she could not see in her mind, but Trixie had reassured her that the memories would return in time, and that she always had somepony to talk to about them: Zecora.

Trixie had even talked about things that happened after the destruction, and made such vivid descriptions that Monster could almost see them when she closed her eyes. There were a lot of hesitations as she talked, as if Trixie had fears much like Monster, and even if she was not willing to talk about her own fears, she was still willing to talk about other things. Like how Shining Armor had been awarded a medal for his bravery, and the fireworks that filled the sky after Princess Cadence’s wedding.

Monster could even remember the fireworks, although she had trembled in fear and hidden in the root cellar when they had first burst across the mountain in the distance, radiant sparkles of red and green floating down from the sky. They still frightened her now on some deep level, reminding her far too intensely of the hive, the flashpaper spell, the rumble of shaking earth beneath her hooves as hundreds of changelings died.

Tallgrass touched her shoulder gently and led her to dinner, a wide variety of foods both similar to their diet in the Everfree and new foods purchased from the town. The changeling had his stripes nearly right this time, a distinct pattern different than mom’s and yet somehow merged with hers, as if they had been one large zebra broken in two parts, now rejoined. As much as she tried, she could not be afraid of the changeling, or even feel guilt around him. He truly loved her, as well as mom, and that made even the worst that she had done against his hive melt into vapor and blow away in the wind. Luna was afraid of ponies too, and maybe having a changeling around her would help the fear.

As soon as she was done with dinner and had helped clean up the leftovers, she returned to her balcony desk to finish her letter while looking out into the beautiful night.

...i never thought about sharing until i had something of my own that was not shared, and now i see sharing everywhere. i shared my worries with Trixie, and now there are less fewer of them to trouble me. it’s strange. when i share good things, there are more of them afterwards, but if i share bad things, there are fewer not as many afterwards. you are lucky to have a big sister to share things with like Trixie. it makes them so much better.

your sister’s student’s student
Monster Twilight Sparkle, Ponyville Library Patron #574

P.S. i am sending you Grumpy Bunny Is Afraid by mail, as soon as i get something called ‘stamps’ from Trixie. i will need it back in two weeks so it does not become overdue.

Big Mac gave a brief yawn while working on the dinner dishes after the rest of the family had gone to bed. The liniment had left his hooves nice and warm, although the splatters from what had happened after the backrub had taken forever to get shampoo’d out.

If not for the picnic lunch that somepony had slipped inside the barn door, he might have made his excuses as they each departed for lunch with their own peers, but a romantic lunch in the hay had turned into something else in the hay, which had resulted in a departure far into the afternoon. Still, it had been an extremely productive day for the farm, with all of the wagons of apples brought into the barn in the late afternoon to early evening, and even AJ had helped pull wagons as the sun had begun to go down. Although his sister did have a rather curious tale about meeting Golden Harvest in the marketplace that still didn’t make sense to him, but then again, Big Mac had never really understood mares, and sisters were even harder to understand. Far better just to nod and ‘Eeyup’ once in a while.

After blowing out the light in the kitchen, Big Mac plodded quietly through the house towards the stairs that led up to his bedroom. It was a path he had walked for many years, and had gotten familiar with every step, except for tonight there was something a little extra on the staircase.

A single rose petal.

He bent his head low and sniffed, picking up the petal in his teeth and thinking while chewing. It tasted a little like a Cajun Moon rose, but with a certain aftertaste he could not place. There was a second petal several steps above that one, and another at the top of the stairs, turning into a delicious trail that led to his own closed bedroom door.

Nosing open the door let a gentle breeze flow by from the open window in his room, and revealed the curtains floating softly in the flickering light of a half-dozen candles surrounding a neat pile of royal accoutrements sitting on his nightstand. Guarding the pile was a carefully folded Miss Smarty Pants, mismatched button eyes turned away from the soft beam of moonlight that diffused across the occupant of his bed, the sparkle of nebulae and planets on her flowing mane wafting across her body as she beckoned to him.

“Come in and close the door,” she whispered.

He did.