The Adventures of Trixie if Her Father Was a Badass Alien

by totallynotabrony


Chapter 37

Forming a plan to defeat a seemingly indestructible adversary was never easy. Unfortunately, the burden of that fell on Trixie.
She burst into the library. “Spike!”
“Huh? What is it?” Spike asked, looking up from his library tasks.
“We’ve got a big problem. I need you to send a letter.”
“Sure.” Spike grabbed a quill and scroll. He looked up expectantly.
Trixie paused just long enough to collect her thoughts. “We need the Elements of Harmony here in Ponyville to defeat an evil mare called Starburst. Based on what I know about the threat, we’ll need to make the showdown as flashy and impressive as possible – literally a showdown.”
Spike looked a little confused, but took down the letter. “I think most of the Element Bearers are already here. We’ll just need to get Twilight back from Canterlot.”
Trixie nodded. “Do it. Tell her to study up on her magic tricks. I’ll go round up the rest of the Bearers.”
Spike sent the letter off with a puff of fire and Trixie grabbed her skateboard, heading out the door as fast as she could roll. She found Pinkie at Sugarcube Corner, easily convincing her to skip work and come along. Rarity was at the Carousel Boutique and joined the quest as soon as she heard about the problem. At Sweet Apple Acres Applejack formed up with the growing crew. Fluttershy was at her cottage and quickly dropped what she was doing.
Rainbow was in town, at Guinness’ pub. On the way there, Trixie and the mares following her ran across Iron Will, who was still in town.
He saw that they were intent on something. “What’s going on?”
“Remember Starburst?” Trixie quickly explained. “She’s actually an alien who is evil. I’m gathering the Elements of Harmony to fight her.”
Trixie paused, an idea coming to her. “Actually, I was hoping you might be able to help. The way Starburst fights is through showmareship. Maybe you could give the girls some pointers on how to be better at that.”
Iron Will shrugged. “A friend in need gets Iron Will’s help indeed.”
After grabbing Rainbow, the group of them met back at the library. Spike had gotten a reply to his letter and said that Twilight was on her way. With time to spare until she arrived, it seemed prudent to begin brainstorming a strategy.
Trixie explained what she knew about Starburst. She realized that it was an unusual situation for the Element Bearers, as they typically were thrown into conflicts on a whim and had to respond however they could think up on the spot.
In fact, Rainbow pointed that out quite clearly when she said, “We’ve never had to practice for anything before. Why are we so worried now?”
Trixie wanted to argue that they hadn’t fought Starburst before like she had, but realized how that might sound. More calmly than she felt, she explained, “I just think it would be prudent to be ready. You may not have gotten practice before, but if given the opportunity wouldn’t you like to have some?”
“I would love to be able to organize my schedule around this,” Rarity commented. “If I could plan on an easy victory, that would be grand.”
“I reckon that I agree,” added Applejack. “I got lots of work to get done.”
“Good, so we’re all ready to glitz up this fight,” Trixie summarized. “Let’s work on that.”
“Iron Will was thinking of perhaps a rock band,” the minotaur mused. “Or maybe hard ska.”
“Interesting,” Trixie said. “Okay, what can everypony play?”
Applejack raised a hoof. “I can play the banjo.”
“Screw your banjo,” Trixie cut her off. “Anything else? Any of you?”
“I think Guinness can play the bass, but he doesn’t have one around,” Rainbow said.
“We might be able to get it from somepony around town, along with a drum set for me, and a trumpet for Iron Will, but that’s barely a house band, much less a rock band.” Trixie sighed. “We still need a show of some kind. Okay, Plan B. What do you all know about the circus?”
“Did somepony say show?” called a two-part chorus of voices from down the street. The Flim Flam brothers came walking up.
It was clear that they weren’t on the best of terms with the Element Bearers, but they were in the show business. Trixie immediately seized the opportunity in front of her. “Hello you two. How would you like to join us in out-showing Starburst? She’s coming here tomorrow to challenge us.”
“What does that entail?” Flam asked.
Trixie gestured. “You two, Iron Will, and I will design a show that is sure to wow anypony. Also, the Elements of Harmony will be there.”
“We do kind of owe her some payback,” said Flim.
“But why the Elements?” asked Flam.
“For the spectacular magic rainbow they make, obviously,” replied Flim.
“Uh, that’s part of it, yeah,” Trixie said. “Well then, let’s get started.”
The practice did not go spectacularly, as trying to organize so many different show styles into one was insanely difficult. Trixie was still counting on the Elements, but wanted to be absolutely sure that something would work. Against an opponent that could apparently explode stars at will, it had better.
And so to that end, that afternoon in Ponyville, the world’s most desperate variety show was born.