//------------------------------// // Chapter 4 // Story: The Ghost with the Most // by Equestria Buck Yeah //------------------------------// A quick adjustment of his coat and a brush off of the last bits of dust on his arms and Beetlejuice was just about ready to go again. He floated a few inches off the ground and twisted his body as tight as he could, feeling a series of invigorating cracks go straight up his spine. Seeing his body contort in such a profound way made the Crusaders wince, despite the fact they'd seen Pinkie Pie do similar things plenty of times before. "Alright, so the whole Princess thing didn't go as planned. So what else we got going on tonight? Hauntings, possession? Come on, give me something good to work with here cuz this place is quickly boring the hell out of me!" "Couldn't we just go around asking for some candy?" Sweetie Belle asked. "Or maybe go play some games?" Scootaloo added. "Yeah, Ah'd rather not do anything else that could, y'know, result in one of the royal sisters sendin' us to the moon or somethin'." "Oh, don't be ridiculous! One little thing doesn't work out and you're ready to give up? There's so many more people left to terrorize!" Beetlejuice said, rubbing his hands together gleefully. He was going to make the most of his time and he'd be damned if these tiny dog-things were going to talk him out of him. "But you said–" "Well, if that's the way you're gonna be, sure, go right ahead and quit now! Go run home crying to your mommies cuz I don't need you either! You seriously think three little fleshbags like you are going to make me suddenly start playing nice?" he hollered, practically nose to nose with the girls. His quickly escalating temper sank their heads further and further into their shoulders as he ranted. A low murmur of what sounded like voices hummed in the air, calming his flaring anger for a moment. His ear blew up to ridiculous proportions to get a better listen. "Come on, B.J., can't we just–" With a flick of his wrist, Sweetie Belle's voice suddenly failed her and nothing came from her mouth. After a second, the panicked unicorn looked to her friends, who were too horrified to say anything to anyone lest they lose their voices too. The filly started silently crying, as the tears pouring from her eyes indicated. "Jeez, can't a guy get a moment of peace around here? Like nails on a chalkboard, I swear," the dead man mumbled. "Now, what's going on over there? ...Ahhh, whimsey and merriment, a lot of people having fun. Let's go fix that." And in a blip of light, Beetlejuice disappeared yet again. The moment he vanished though, the little white pony's shrieks erupted from her mouth, nearly deafening her friends for a second before she realized she could speak again. "Oh, there we go," she said, strangely not bothered by what just happened. "That wasn't very nice." A scream suddenly rang out from a block away where the usual games and party favors were set up every year. "Ah don't think what's he's doin' over there is very nice either," Apple Bloom said, quickly darting ahead with the others a step behind. "Ohhhh, if anypony finds out he's here because of us, we're so dead!" ----- A pair of ponies, one stallion dressed as a mummy and one mare dressed up like a sexy nurse, walked under a nearby streetlight and past a tree beside it, chatting about whether or not they knew of any late night, more adult oriented parties happening anywhere in town that night. Nightmare Night didn't necessarily have to be solely a kid's holiday, now did it? "Hey," a voice called out. "Hey, you two, come here." The two looked for the source, and it seemed to come from around the tree nearby. They looked past the large decoration hanging lazily from a low branch but saw nothing. Wait, was that...was it a body?...there a second ago? "Over here, c'mon." Slowly, it spun around, revealing...something with stripes that sort of looked to be pony-shaped, but there wasn't a tail nor was the face equine in nature. Was it some kind of zebra? Either way, somepony certainly went out of their way to come up with a creative design! Though they still needed to find out who was talking, and they weren't sure what this decoration was supposed to be, they couldn't help but smile and giggle a bit. Until it spoke. "I got this real bad crick in my neck, can you help me out? Hehehehe!" "AHHHHHHH!" The only evidence of their existence were twins trail of smoke left as they dashed away. Still laughing, he flashed away to his next victim. A second after he left, the Crusaders came around the corner, just missing the trickster. They quickly looked around, finding nothing to indicate he was there. Except for another scream coming from the middle of a nearby crowd. A certain multicolor-maned high flyer, dressed as her novel hero Daring Do, was standing beside Pinkie Pie the Hot Dog. Pinkie had just snagged a real beaut, gobbling it down in a single bite, and now it was Rainbow's turn to show her how it was really done. When she turned to the tub, however, she saw something unusual, even for Nightmare Night. It almost looked like a fin was swimming around in circles. She leaned in to take a closer look, only for a striped shark to lunge out of the water and almost take her head off. Pinkie and Rainbow fell backwards, thoroughly freaked out. Nearby onlookers weren't faring so well either. "And people thought pool sharks were unexpected. Hahahah!" the overgrown fish said before poofing away. The coast looked clear. Rainbow Dash sat back up and cautiously...cautiously approached the tub. Gathering what courage she almost left down the inside of her leg, she dunked her head and looked around for their attacker only to find some wood and apples floating around. "Did you have something to do with this?" she asked Pinkie as she submerged. "Not this time." "Oh. Was gonna say that was an awesome scare. I wonder who pulled it off?" "I dunno, but I've gotta find out how they did it!" Pinkie chuckled. A moment of laughs passed before three out-of-breath, panicked fillies bumped into them. "Whoa, hey Scoots," Rainbow said, happily rubbing her purple mane. "What's going on? How's your Nightmare Night going?" "Have either of you seen a funny-looking thing wearing a striped outfit, smells kinda funny, runs around on two legs and could do really, really weird things recently?" the filly asked with a completely unsuspicious smile on her face. "Uhhh, no, but apparently there's a shark in the apple bobbing tub." "Nnngh!" The Crusaders took off, leaving the bewildered pair to shrug at each other. Only a few dozen feet away stood Applejack in her usual scarecrow outfit, overseeing the pumpkin launch. A zombie stallion carried his ammunition on his rump over to the catapult and set it in place, ready to fire away. He dug his hooves into the dirt and took careful aim, testing the direction and velocity of the wind and trying to measure exactly how far away the targets were. A rather impatient voice piped up from right under his hooves. "Hey, are you gonna go sometime today or what?" the pumpkin yelled at him. "GAH!" Startled half to death, the stallion jumped back and the vegetable flew from its holster, laughing as it soared through the air and splattered to pieces on the bullseye. "Okay, that stung a bit worse than I expected it to. Hey, get out here, will ya?!" a chunk of it called out to seemingly no one. Its request was answered by a headless bipedal body popping into existence next to a suddenly horrified cowgirl. "Thanks for joining us, moron. Now get over here!" The corpse extended its arms and wobbled and swayed between, around and into just about everything in the way as it tried to follow its master command. "No no no, the other way! Now go right, stupid! No, your other right! God, where's your head at, huh? Oh wait a minute, hehe! Alright, yeah. Yeah, there you go, just a little bit further. Little more... Okay, stop, stop! On the ground, right below you. Congratulations, you win the dumbass award!" Piece by piece, the body picked up the gooey, orange chunks and putting them back together, hopefully into something resembling a head. A few minutes passed and three small fillies galloped up to it, relieved to have finally caught up. "Apple Bloom, get away from that thing!" a frozen-stiff Applejack cried out. "It's okay, sis, we, um...we kinda know the guy." "How in... You know what? Ah'm not even gonna ask." Though Apple Bloom was worried for a moment as to what her big sister was going to do to her after they all got home, she had other things going on here and now. She watched as Beetlejuice set his orange, broken head back onto his shoulders, not surprised by anything he did at this point. Especially not after how he harassed Luna. "Uh, Beej?" He spun around and slumped upon seeing the three thorns in his side. "Oh for the love of... Why can't you just leave me alone, huh? What'd I ever do to you? It's not like I've made anyone drop from a heart attack or anything yet! I mean, yeah, I'm still working on it, but..." The Crusaders stared and stared at the abnormality sitting atop Beetlejuice's body. "What?!" "You have a pumpkin for a head." Did he? The prankster ran his hands across his cheeks, his lack of nose, his forehead, even the stem sitting at the top of his head. "Oh, whoops. Give me a second." Taking in a deep breath, he let out a screech as his head spun around and around and around. The fillies jumped more in surprise than horror. Some patrons' jaws hit the floor while others dove behind boxes or a nearby friend. Just as the girls were catching up with Beetlejuice, however, a recently crowned princess, dressed as a stickball player, was walking with her frightfully shy friend from the opposite direction. Hopefully the sheet covering Fluttershy would allow her to hide out in the open. No sense in giving herself away and possibly subjecting herself to any pranks or hijinks some less-than-friendly ponies would probably pull on her. "A-are you really sure this is a good idea, Twilight? I mean, you know how much tonight of all nights scares me." "Of course, Fluttershy! It really is one of the most fun nights of the year if you give it a chance. All our friends will be there, so you have nothing to worry about. Luna will be there too, and you know she would never let any harm come to anypony, right?" "I guess so." "Tell you what. If things don't turn out well for you tonight, I won't ask you to come with us next year or any year after unless you want to." "You promise?" "I–" As they arrived by the targets for the pumpkin launch, they immediately saw a tall, striped thing standing before them screaming with something orange spinning like mad at its top. "–promise?" Suddenly, what turned out to be its head came to a halt, sitting backwards on its body, now with frizzy yellow hair and skin as pale as the dead. It looked down at the perplexed ponies and smiled with rotted teeth. "Hey, how's it going?" The gentle flap of a sheet as it fell to the ground, sans Fluttershy, caught Twilight's ear. She spun around and watched the last corner hit the dirt as a pink and yellow blur disappeared into the distance, whimpering loudly. "Ugh. So much for that," she groaned, glaring at the nuisance. "What? Don't look at me. Hahaha!" Still irritated that all her efforts were instantly in vain, she grumbled loudly to herself and stomped her way past Beetlejuice. Hopefully the rest of her night would be better. The loony ghost set his head right and resumed chewing out the Crusaders. "Now, as I was saying, you were the ones who called me here, you wanted to go have some fun and now you're backing out on me. Well, I'm not finished here, so if you'll excuse me!" And once again, Beetlejuice whisked himself away, leaving the three worried and exhausted fillies alone. "Now what do we do?" Apple Bloom moaned. ---- The youngsters sat glumly on a bench nearby. The occasional scream or fleeing of a schoolmate or two didn't even register with them. It was supposed to be their night of fun and the weird creature that claims they summoned him was getting to have it all, even if it sometimes seemed a little over the top. Nopony had even bothered to say hello to them since they sat down. Could the night get much worse? "Hello, girls!" a pleasant voice said, snapping them out of the doldroms. A mare in a witch costume approached them. "Hello Miss Cheerilee," they mumbled in unison. Their misery was written plain as day on their faces and it wasn't hard for the sharp school teacher to catch on that something was bothering them. "What's the matter, girls? I would have thought you would be having a great time tonight." Though none of them could make eye contact, Sweetie Belle eventually caved in and spoke up. "I think we may have accidentally summoned somepony we weren't supposed to and now he's running around causing all kinds of chaos." She stared, unamused, at the trio. "...Again?" "Huh?" She facehoofed and sighed loudly. "Ooookay. Why don't you tell me what all you were doing when your...friend showed up?" "Okay um...let's see." "We were walking through Sweet Apple Acres," Scootaloo began. "And you were teasin' Sweetie Belle." "Yeah, that wasn't very nice." "I already said I was sorry!" "Girls, please," Cheerilee interjected, "try and focus?" "Right. Um...Oh! Now I remember. I said something about Granny Smith's cookies not having any betelgeuse in them. She baked some before we left. They were really good." "Ooo, ooo! Then I was like 'ewww'," Sweetie Belle said, sticking her tongue out for emphasis. "Then you said betelgeuse again and I told ya to stop, but then you said it a third time anyway." "Uh huh, and then a bolt of lightning crashed on the ground and he came out of where it crashed." Pursing her lips, the dark pink mare laughed uneasily at what seemed to be yet another in a long list of outrageous stories these particular fillies were known for making up. "That's...quite a tale, girls." "But it's true!" A sudden nearby scream helped confirm it. Seeing a fifteen foot long snake with the prankster's head chasing after a group of ponies didn't hurt either. "Beetlejuice, come on!" Apple Bloom hollered. "Beetlejuice?" "That's his name, but we're not supposed to say it," the tiny unicorn said. "Why not?" "He told us not to." "Did he tell you why?" The Crusaders exchanged a glance. "Ummm..." Cheerilee rubbed her chin, the wheels in her head cranking. "Hm. Girls, let's see if we can track down your friend." "How are we supposed to find him?" the Junior Wonderbolt asked hopelessly. The shrieking of foals tipped them off. "Oh. Right." Fortunately, they didn't have to go far. Only two houses away, a small group of kids was sprinting away from a house whose front door had suddenly come alive, complete with numerous sharp teeth and a despicable laugh. It saw the Crusaders and groaned in annoyance, but seeing Miss Cheerilee standing beside them peaked his interest. He popped next to the earth pony, smiling greedily and licking his lips. "Now, y'see, this is what I'm talking about. This girl knows how to accessorize. I'm assuming you're a girl, right, what with the witch get-up? Course you are! And what do ya know? I got a broomstick you can ride, it's got some miles on it, but I've been told the ride is smooth, really smooth! Come on, you want to take it for a test drive, don't you? Hehehehe!" As he ranted, Cheerilee spied him with utter revulsion. How he could say such disgusting things around minds as impressionable as the Crusaders went against everything the teacher stood for. Even if the youngsters had no idea what he was babbling about, she knew all too well thanks to her...rebellious teenage years. After a moment of his sickening nonsense, she quickly put the theory that she came up with to the test. "Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice." "Wha?! No!" And like that, he was gone. The Crusaders looked around and listened for any signs of trouble, but didn't hear anything. Was it really over? "What happened? Where'd he go this time?" Apple Bloom asked. "I have a feeling that he's gone for good," Miss Cheerilee said, a touch annoyed that she had to step in for them. "Why's that?" "Well, you mentioned before that you said Beetle...uh, that word...three times and then he suddenly appeared. Then, you told me very specifically that he didn't want you to say his name. It wasn't hard to put it all together." The girls looked at each other regretfully and then up and down the street they stood on. A few burn marks here and there, some mortified ponies hyperventilating leaning against buildings, some destroyed decorum. All in all, it could have been a lot worse. "We're sorry, Miss Cheerilee." As much as she wanted to punish them, either there or in class tomorrow, it didn't sound like they had intended to bring such a creature to town intentionally. Heck, ultimately, she only guessed that repeating his name again was going to send him away just like it brought him there to begin with, so it's extremely unlikely that the Crusaders had any idea that they were calling him. "It's okay, girls. I think it would probably be wise to head on home for the night, just in case." "That's...probably a good idea," the farm pony muttered. "See you tomorrow, Miss Cheerilee." "Yeah. See ya." "Good night, girls." ----- The sun was starting to set as the Crusaders sat in their clubhouse, finishing up the last of their homework. They were amazed that Cheerilee simply swept everything under the rug and didn't give them extra assignments to do. What was equally amazing was that most of the other foals in class were going on and on about how awesomely fun Nightmare Night was, mostly thanks to some odd-looking striped biped, even if the scares were pretty intense sometimes. As much as they wanted to tell them they were the reason he was there, Miss Cheerilee probably would have quietly insisted they drop it lest they inadvertently reveal how they did it. One by one, the girls closed their textbooks and put away their paperwork. Collectively sighing, they finally had a chance to talk about something that didn't involve school. There was only one thing on their minds too. "Crazy night last night, huh?" Scootaloo started. "Yeah. I'm just glad nopony got hurt." "Why do ya think he was actin' the way he was?" "Maybe he was just acting how he normally does back err...wherever he comes from." "Maybe," the pegasus shrugged. "We never really got a chance to tell him what's considered acceptable behavior around here." "Ah just can't believe everypony thought he was so hilarious." Apple Bloom winced. "Well, everypony except Luna." A tiny smile crept onto Scootaloo's face as she revisited the events in her mind. "It was kinda funny how she just threw him across town, hahaha!" "I'm still having trouble picturing that shark thing," Sweetie Belle commented. "I bet that was one heck of a good scare. Wish we could've seen it." "Heh, yeah. Ah do hope that Fluttershy's alright though. Applejack said she was pretty shaken up when she and the others went to lunch earlier." "Aw, she'll get over it. Just wish we could have had some fun last night." "We didn't even get any candy," Scootaloo grumbled. "And it's getting too late for us to have any fun tonight either." Through all the pouting and moping, Apple Bloom spoke up as a realization hit her. "Who says we can't?" "What do you mean?" the unicorn squeaked. "You heard everypony in class today. They said they had the best time last night and all we did was try and stop it all from happenin', right?" "I guess. So?" "So, maybe we should've just, I dunno...let him do his thing." The orange filly lifted an eyebrow. "Are you saying what I think you're saying?" Apple Bloom swapped a glance between her friends, smirking mischievously. Scootaloo returned the grin and, after an extra moment, so did Sweetie Belle. The girls giggled as they huddled together. "Beetlejuice..."