35.1
“Okay, I have a plan,” Twilight said, looking around at the assembled loopers. “Well, more of a competition, really.”
“Go on...” Dash said, ears perking up.
“Okay. Basically, we each take a turn handling all the big, important problems – solo. One Loop each.” Twilight paused for effect. “And we're only allowed to use our base-line abilities, plus the powers from at most one other loop.”
Spike raised a claw. “Does my size-shifting count?”
“Yes, but it's that or the Force. Not both.”
“Oh, I think I see...” Rarity nodded. “You're trying to make it as equal as possible, dear?”
“Yeah. Not fair that I have an advantage just for having looped so much longer than the rest of you – well, except in that I might be quite a lot more sneaky.”
“As if,” Trixie said.
That caused everypony, -ling, -dragon, -griffin and even -bunny to give her an incredulous look. (Discord was drinking upside-down tea, and didn't react.)
“...I might not have been talking about myself,” Trixie said, slowly and carefully.
Chrysalis hummed. “Do I count as automatically defeating myself?”
“Yes, but you don't get points for style unless you do it with style.” Twilight shrugged.
“That's going to be fairly normal for our loops,” Nyx said, nodding up at Luna. “Didn't you once take over the world, then give it back five minutes later 'cause there wasn't enough cheese?”
Luna made a small gesture with one hoof. “I do try.”
“Right,” Shining Armor said. “Here goes.”
Twilight grinned at him. “Go get 'er, B.B.B.F.F. I checked – she's not Awake.”
“Good.”
Nightmare Moon finished her speech, cackled a bit, and flared her wings for effect.
Two guards steadied their spears and prepared to charge-
“Stand down, men,” a voice said.
“I'll handle this.”
“Oh?” she said, coming back to all fours and looking the unicorn stallion up and down, with a measuring glance. “One of Celestia's guard-whelps?”
“Captain Shining Armor, at her service.” Shining saluted smartly.
“How touching,” Nightmare Moon said, and launched a dark-bolt at him.
Something very peculiar happened, and a dark-bolt hit her in the side, with enough power to smash her off her hooves.
She came back upright with a fluid grace, and snarled. “What just happened?”
Shining smiled. “I couldn't possibly comment.”
“Insolent-” Biting off the word harshly, she gathered more power and fired a spread of over a dozen seeker bolts, paying more attention this time. His horn was faintly glowing-
Seeker bolts hit her in all four kneecaps, then her flanks, both wings, and the last five shot holes through her mane.
“How did you do that?” she asked, flaring her wings and righting herself.
“Justice will be done,” he replied enigmatically.
More magic. This time, it was a single overpowered electron ram.
Nightmare Moon was less surprised than she felt she should have been when an overpowered electron ram erupted from the stage beneath her.
Shining Armor checked his gleaming uniform, frowned, and rubbed at some of the brightwork for a moment to clear off a near-invisible stain.
“Hm...”
Twilight looked at the two of them, then sidled over to her brother. “What have you been doing?”
Nightmare Moon said something unintelligible, and fell over.
“Justice field,” Shining said, proudly. “I managed to get it to work just a few loops ago – so that's the one I'm using, by the way. Basically, it turns back any offensive act on the perpetrator.”
“Huh.” Twilight looked the exhausted, heavily bruised alicorn over. “Any limits?”
“Magic cost, immobility and that it doesn't discriminate,” he answered promptly. “I'm working on them.”
“Don't worry, Rarity!” shouted the non-Looping Spike, brandishing a shovel. “I'll save you!”
“Wait, Spike, don't-”
Spike hit Nightmare Moon square on the back of the head with the shovel, grinned proudly, and fell over.
“...oops,” Shining said guiltily. “Perhaps I should have warned him...”
“I hate clever ponies,” Discord mumbled, from his current form on the floor.
He was a suit of armour, as it happened.
Shining shrugged. “Justice just is.”
Twilight winced. “How long have you been waiting to tell that pun?”
“About five months.”
“Aha!” Discord said abruptly, and turned back into his normal self. “If I do things to you, it rebounds on me! So if I try to turn you into a draconequus, I'm back!”
“Yep.” Shining nodded. “That is a disadvantage of the field, I will admit. It should be noted, however, that you can't actually do anything to anyone else while it's up.”
Discord shrugged. “I can wait.”
“I don't think you can, actually,” Twilight replied. “I mean, you're seriously telling me you can sit there quietly and not do anything for five minutes?”
“Sure!” Discord said. “Just watch me!”
Brother and sister watched him.
Ten seconds later, he threw back his head, shouted “I can't take it any more!” and turned himself back into a statue.
“...that ended well,” Shining muttered.
Twilight nodded, and flared her horn. The statue vanished.
“Where'd you put it?” Shining asked, dropping the field.
“Pinkie's room. I'm sure it'll sort itself out one way or another.”
“Darling...” Cadence said, frowning into one of the side rooms. “Why is there a maid staring devotedly at her own reflection?”
Shining shrugged.
“Okay, I give up. He's been doing the dark magic thing for ten minutes, and I can't see any difference in either of us.”
With a flash of magic, Shining dropped the justice field.
Sombra simply stood there, horn gently glowing.
Then started to snore.
Shining blinked.
“Oh, I see,” Twilight said, nodding. “I think he just drained his own energy to the point he fell asleep.”
Shining trotted over and poked the King's flank. No response.
“What should we do with him?”
Twilight thought. “I tend to put him in the cellars and lock the door, really... those doors have good locks.”
35.2 (Mandemon)
This new loop had been... strange. Twilight could not put her hoof on what was wrong, but something was. She had narrowed it down to Celestia and Pinkie Pie, who didn't seem to be themselves. Yet, she could not find any proof of that they were Awake or had been replaced by someone. This loops' memories provided no information that would differentiate from a vanilla loop.
In the end, it didn’t matter. Pinkie Pie might throw an extra party here and there, and Celestia might have been running few extra gambits. Nothing major, so she left it be. One major difference really in this loop was that her brother had embarked on some campaign that she could not find any information. At the moment, she was at the Grand Galloping Gala, having prevented the worst mistakes, and was letting the party go on smoothly. The orchestra was playing some music piece she was not interested in.
Then everything went to Tartatrus.
Pinkie Pie appeared on the window.
“THIS QUIET OFFENDS SLAANESH!” She shouted on top of her lungs, causing everyone to look at her. A massive tank burst through the wall, carrying equally massive speakers. “THINGS SHALL GET LOUD NOW!” A loud music began play from the speakers, pushing ponies back. She was about to do something about the matter, when she noticed something... interesting.
Celestia had just transported another massive set of speakers and DJ-equipment into the room. At the same time, Vinyl Scratch entered, listened for a moment before shrugging and moving to the DJ-booth and began to play her own music.
“YOU INTERRUPT!?” Pinkie Pie shouted in surprise
“You call that music? THIS IS HOW YOU DO IT!” Vinyl shouted back before starting to drown out Pinkies music. Pinkie Pie grinned and Twilight witnessed the begin of Grand DJ-Battle.
She walked to Celestia.
“Want to tell me me the truth.”
“Maybe, maybe not?” Celestia merely said, grinning.
“That’s Tzeentch, pink one is Slaanesh,” A voice answered next to Twilight. She looked next to her and saw Chrysalis. “Name's Nurgle, how do you do?” Chrysalis, AKA Nurgle, asked, sipping some weird drink.
"Tzeentch? Slaanesh? Oh, the Chaos Gods. I guess that means Lemon Rush is somewhere too," Twilight said. Both Nurgle and Tzeentch gave a laugh.
"Lemon Rush? Is that what you call Leman Russ? Oh boy, he is not going to hear end of this ever," Nurgle said, offering Twilight a drink.
“I would not drink the punch while Nurgle is here. There is probably AIDS in it,” Tzeentch commented.
“You offend me, my friend. OF COURSE there is AIDS in there, Nurgle said, offended. "I just want to spread my love for people!" Twilight merely looked between two, before sighing.
“Anything else I should know?” she asked.
“Your brother is currently building a Skull Throne from the skulls of... well, pretty much anything,” Nurgle said, earning a glare from Tzeentch. “What? Did I throw a wrench into your plans?”
“You’re impossible,” Tzeentch said.
“Oh, shut up, newbie, I have been existing much longer than any of you,” Nurgle said, taking another sip.
“A Skull Throne?” Twilight asked, mentally cataloguing alternative Element bearers.
“He’s Khorne. Khorne disapproves the lack of wanton violence.” Tzeentch said, before smiling. “I wonder what he thinks once he realizes that things he has been hunting are actually merely illusions.”
At the moment, Braeburn walked in.
“Been looking for you idiots,” he said, walking up to Tzeentch and Nurgle.
“Empy, how you do? Had a fun loop?” Nurgle said in delight. “Come on, give me a hug!”
Some hours lat,er Slaanesh and Vinyl Scratch were staring each other down. Both music systems had burned out, though "Empy", AKA Emperor, had mentioned that Slaneesh should have been able to fix his/her/its system, but apparently decided to be a good sport. The two brohoofed and swore to have another go in near future. After Vinyl left, Slaanesh walked to the group.
"Thanks Tze, that was fun!" she said. "I love these loops, you always find people who perfect their trade."
"Well, I did own you one for the aid pulling that prank on Chtulhu. The upstart needed a lesson."
Twilight just wished the loop would end soon. Having five gods running around with entirely different moral system was not going to be fun.
Twilight walked to the garden, where she saw Tzeentch and Slaneesh watching over the statue of Discord.
"Oh no, you are not waking him up. We had a deal, remember? No funny business and I won't kick your butts," She said to the two Chaos gods.
"Funny business?" Tzeentch asked. "Oh, this isn't one of those. Just doing something she insisted."
"Oh come on Tzeensy, you know we have responsibility?" Slaanesh said.
"Chaos God of debauchery, excess, pleasure, pain and selfishness lectures me of responsibility. Clearly the multiverse has a sick sense of humour."
"Okay, time up. Please explain to semi-mortal what is going on?" Twilight managed to get out before the statue of Discord disappeared and confused Discord sat in it's place.
"Hmm? I'm free? FREE AT LAST! MUAHAAHAA!"
"Ahem, Discord?" Tzeentch said, causing Discord to freeze in his place, before his head turned 180 degree to meet the eyes of two Chaos Gods.
"Weird, I could have sworn I heard-" Slaanesh and Tzeentch abandoned their pony forms and took their "standardized" forms. "Oh... Hello?"
"Greetings. I am Tzeentch and this Slaanesh. We are here to teach you about how to do Chaos."
"What." Discord managed.
"You see, we think you are quite too... euclidean with your thing. Chocolate rain, really? What's the fun in that? Now, Chocolate that rains clouds that do not exist, while at the same time sing ode to Ice Cream, now there is the thing. Though you still need to make so that they occupy at least four locations at the same time," Slaanesh said. "Now, you come with me and I shall teach you a trick or two."
"HEY WAIT WHAT THE LET GO OFF ME STOP THAT-" Discord shouted, while being dragged by an ear by Slaanesh. Twilight merely stared at the spectacle in front of her, before turning to Tzeentch who once again took the form of Celestia.
"What."
"It's a long story. Slaanesh and Cegorach had this... fight over the soul of Harlequin. So, this one of the Slaanesh demons decides to give a try, in hopes of advancing in the ranks and tries to bring Slaanesh some drinks. Too bad I mixed them.” Tzeentch winked. “So, after taking a sip, Slaanesh threw the remainders at Cegorach, both suddenly found themselves very hot and bothered and when two Gods love each others very much-"
"Skip please." Twilight made a face.
"Anyway, Cegorach came to me and asked me for a help to solve this mess, since I caused it. In exchange of some... shall we say, favours, I agreed to fool Slaanesh. So when Slaanesh comes, having worst hangover ever, I took responsibility, making Khrone very pissed for no good reason." Tzeentch gave a snicker at this. "Anyway, few millennium later we got this tiny Chaos God running around. However, Khrone got tired of the little runt after that incident with Slaanesh toys and his weapons and threw him into a rift in Chaos. Since then, for who knows reason, Slaanesh has claimed every single chaos elemental as her 'children' and wants to teach them. And somehow I am to help her. Because I am the Daddy. I guess it's one those... well, can't really say 'Lady things' but you know."
"Well, that explains... actually quite a lot."
"Yup."
"So, how much you are ready to pay to me that I don't reveal this to Slaanesh?" Twilight said with a grin. Tzeentch face fell.
"You wouldn't dare?"
“Try me."
The two stared each other for a moment, before Tzeentch gave a chuckle.
"Remind me to show you around the Black Library next time you visit."
35.3
Four young children walked through the snowy pine forest, faces alight with wonder.
This was really inside a wardrobe?
A purple flash lit the snow in front of them.
“Hello,” said a strange being, like a horse but with both wings and a horn. “Sorry I took so long, I don't know my way around here very well... aherm.”
The apparition fluffed her wings – for the voice was clearly that of a her – and cleared her throat again. “Welcome, human children. I am Twilight Sparkle.”
“You're what?” asked the younger of the boys. “That's an absurd name.”
Twilight Sparkle looked at him, then examined her own wings. “Fair enough. I'm a bit of an absurd being, by your standards. Anyway... as one of your number has already noticed, this world contains creatures with wit and voice, unlike your home. Long story short, I've finally got here, and I'm about to fix the weather.”
She spread her wings, and light gathered itself about her horn.
The sun rose, and it felt like a warm balm. It reminded the children more of midsummer than midwinter.
“That should do it,” she muttered. “Now, where's Jadis... oh, where are my manners? There's a family of rather hospitable beavers around two hundred and fifty feet that way.”
With that, the strange horse took to the air and winged away west.
The children exchanged looks.
“Well, I suppose we should have a look,” the eldest finally suggested.
Jadis looked out from her sled. “Where is that Son of Adam?”
There was a ping next to her.
“Yoink, yoink, yoink,” a voice said, accompanied by three pops, and then a final loud pop sounded just as she turned with wand raised.
Something seemed wrong.
“...where did my reindeer and drover go?”
Gathering her power, Jadis prepared for battle. The response was near-instinct after a hundred years of ruling Narnia – for she was but one woman, be she ever so powerful, and Narnia did not take to the yoke well.
It was time for another sweep with the wolves, if some resistance movement or other had begun again...
At that point, a rock the size of a large house and travelling at two thousand metres per second arrived, which rather put an end to the plans Jadis was making in an emphatically final way.
And that should take care of that, Twilight thought to herself.
Admittedly, she wasn't sure on whether Jadis was capable of coming back – the fourth book suggested that she never really entirely died even when eaten by a lion – but this should be good enough.
One thing Twilight was not willing to allow was for that woman to be capable of her usual magic. She didn't know, nor want to know, how the Deplorable Word worked, but since the last time Jadis had killed that spell everyone else in the same reality had died...
“...so, anyway, she's not coming back,” Twilight explained to a number of large, well-armed monsters.
“You have killed the White Witch?” a dwarf asked.
“Not entirely sure,” Twilight admitted. “But no matter how powerful the witch, a meteorite between the shoulder blades will seriously cramp her style.”
She paused. “Basically, at this point I think there's supposed to be a big battle, but I think we may as well just skip straight to the peace treaty. I'm going to go ahead and offer equal citizenship with a four year delay. Two years if one of the animals or other creatures not involved with Jadis vouches for you.”
They mulled that over.
While they did, Twilight fired off another spell. “Mass stone to flesh!”
She consulted a mental check list. Sort out the winter, check... White Witch, check... her army, check... stoned statues, check...
“Anyway,” Twilight said, standing on a dais in Cair Paravel a week later as the songbird orchestra died away. “I have no particular desire to make myself ruler over you all without consultation, and it is also known that prophecy says Narnia does well with human rulers...”
She winked. “But I have certain issues with prophecy. So, I will introduce to you an idea with which these human children are well familiar. It is called a constitutional monarchy.”
"Oh great Tisroc (may your name be blesséd), we have the Narnian reply to your entirely reasonable suggestion that their barbarian nation submit to your blessed rule and become part of Calormene," a functionary droned.
"Well, let's have it, you unworthy worm!"
The heavily bejewelled potentate read the scroll out loud.
"'From the United Kingdoms of Narnia, Archenland, Terebithia, and the Lone Islands to the Tisroc, Ruler of all Calormene.
Go outside on your balcony and look up...' What foolishness is this?"
The light from outside dimmed slightly and he looked out, and up at the sky. The reason for the darkness was obvious enough, a solar eclipse was hardly inconspicuous. White faced, he read the rest of the scroll.
'That's our answer. Any questions?
High King Peter, King Edmund, Minister of Justice, Queen Susan Minister of Foreign Affairs, Queen Lucy, Minster of Health
PP Secretary Twilight Sparkle, Royal Archivist and part time magical super-weapon.'
“Goodness,” Susan said, as the four Pevensies picked themselves up from the beach. “So, we are back in Narnia.”
“It hasn't changed a bit,” Lucy sighed, looking up at the castle of Cair Paravel towering over them.
“Are you sure?” Edmund asked, in a strange voice.
The others turned to see where he was looking.
“Oh,” Peter said in a small voice, as two airships dumped ballast and set out east for the Lonely Islands.
“Hello!” Twilight said, cantering over from the beach stairs. “Sorry, I should have been here sooner. And sorry for the culture shock, as well – I'm afraid we rather kept inventing things without you. There's good news, though – you're not the only humans here any more. Come along, the Parliament will want to meet you!”
“Well, that was... exhausting,” Peter said, flopping down on the grass of the tourney field.
“Who was that you were fighting?” Edmund asked.
“Caspian, of course.” Peter rolled his eyes. “This new royal family is like the French Kings from our world – they always have the same name.”
“I like him,” Susan said, looking across the field. “Much nicer than that Rabadash fellow from last time. Oh – where is the archery tournament?”
“The next field over, I think,” Edmund replied promptly. “Lu already went over there.”
A boy called Eustace Clarence Scrubb – and please do not laugh, though he is used to it – hurried towards a cave as rain began to fall.
With a loud pop, Twilight appeared in the valley. “Oh, hello! Sorry, we haven't met. My name's Twilight... sorry I couldn't meet you sooner, I'm afraid there was a terrible argument going on with some giants.”
Eustace stared at her.
Twilight waved, blushing. “Yes, I know, it can be a bit overwhelming. Anyway. I should warn you that sleeping on a dragon's hoard – like the one in the cave – will turn you into a dragon. It can be undone, but... I just thought I'd warn you. Later!”
She vanished with another pop.
Eustace sat down just inside the cave, and thought carefully.
On the one hand, he was quite overwhelmed by this Narnia place. From the strange, creaking paddle wheels and sails of the Dawn Treader – and should those really go together? - to the casual acceptance amongst the crew of that ship that a phoenix sat under the boiler and three naiads controlled the sails, Narnia was very foreign to his picture of how the world should work.
On the other hand, dragons were pretty cool.
With a series of skittering splashes, a lot of dragon landed in the surf.
“Hullo!” he said, sculling over to the frigate as it rode at anchor. “Flying is super!”
“Is that Eustace?” Caspian asked, staring over the starboard paddle.
“Yes.” The dragon waved. “It's a little strange, but I like lizards. Would anyone like a ride?”
Twilight ticked two more boxes on her checklist.
“Oh, so that's how it works!” Twilight said, slamming a book shut. “Oog. Well, at least that explains a few things...”
She lit her horn, and got casting.
An extremely irritated-looking mouse glared balefully up at Twilight.
“Oh, don't give me that,” Twilight admonished. “I did revive you... eventually... and given what you were going to do I think I was rather nicer than you deserve.”
The mouse flipped a claw at her.
“None of that.” Twilight spun the cage and gave its occupant a look. “Or can you honestly tell me you wouldn't cast the Deplorable Word the moment you had a functioning voicebox?”
Jadis the otherwise-normal mouse (who was most definitely not a Mouse) squeaked something which was probably her best attempt at obscenity.
“See the lantern?” the lady of the green kirtle said, as thick, sweet smoke wove around the heads of the friends. “The sun is just what you think of when you think of a big lantern. There is only the lantern, there is no real sun.”
Eustace nodded heavily. “That's logical. What about the flying unicorn?”
The lady of the green kirtle frowned. “Er... a big pony?”
“Little pony, thank you,” Twilight said, walking in the door and coughing. “Faugh, this is awful stuff.”
She pointed a hoof at the lady, clearing the air with two powerful wingbeats. “You lot. People like you are why running this place is a full time job, I swear.”
The lady hissed, and turned into a giant serpent.
“Now that's mature.” Twilight's horn flared, and both serpent and alicorn vanished.
With a colossal splash, fifty feet of serpent landed in the sea to the east of Dragon Island.
Twilight ported back into the Lady's chambers. “Okay, done. Anyone who doesn't want to get straight back to Narnia, please leave the room now.”
With a certain proprietary pride, Twilight watched the pillar of flame climb skywards from Cape Paravel.
Certainly, Celestia might have taught her, and she might have had experience with Equestria, but this was her first time with responsibility for an entire country that she hadn't had the experience with being a subject of first.
All things considered, a space program was a pretty good achievement for a first try.
35.2 continued
Fluttershy closed her eyes for a moment, flinching at the sounds coming in the window, then her expression firmed.
I'm not just cowardly Fluttershy. Not any more.
She pushed off the covers and got out of bed.
“Angel? Be a dear and ask the ponies trying to destroy the town with pure music to turn it down a bit?”
Several lapine stomps tracked across the floor, followed by a bang which shook the house.
The pegasus smiled gently. Angel was such a grumpy bunny sometimes.
“Okay, who's hungry?”
“Not me, thanks,” the pelican said.
Several hummingbirds started piping for nectar, speaking over one another in their high voices.
“All right, I'll get to you in a minute,” Fluttershy said, rapping the ground with her hoof and causing a vine to burst forth. Moving at walking pace, it spread over the eaves of her house before budding and flowering in a pulse of honeysuckle scent.
Most of the animals stared at her. (The hummingbirds, more pragmatic or just hungrier, got stuck in.)
She waved back with a broad smile, and began boosting her herb garden.
Druids were really good at gardening.
Whistling an old song Spike had taught her once about a harper and her dragonets, Fluttershy packed together some lunches for whenever they were needed in the coming loop.
As she rolled up a pancake with slices of cucumber and lilypad, there was a knock at the door.
“Coming,” she said quietly, putting the food down and trotting over.
Upon opening the door, she saw a bright yellow earth pony colt flanked by two adorably fuzzy wolf cubs.
She blinked. “Is that...”
“Little mother!” The colt crouched down and launched himself at her, throwing his forelegs about her neck. The two wolves joined him, and all four went over in a tangle of limbs.
Fluttershy smiled. “Lemon, it's good to see you.”
“And you, little mother.” Lemon Rush – normally Leman Russ, primarch of the Space Wolves – clambered off her, and looked around her house. “It's been too long since I've been here.”
The pegasus rolled over and pushed herself upright, then nuzzled him. “I haven't seen you in too long either, Lemon. How are you?”
Rush sighed. “Well, we've picked up a lot more loopers recently. Father, or the Emperor, or whatever his real name is, started looping a few thousand ago... and all that's done is make it weirder.”
Fluttershy made some tea. Black for Rush; herbal for her; and Freki and Geri got gravy. (She'd designed it herself. The wolves certainly seemed to give it their approval.)
“Thank you,” Rush said with a grateful smile, taking a sip. “Nobody does it like you do. Anyway, at least one of my brothers started looping soon afterwards – do you remember Vulkan?” Fluttershy nodded, and he went on. “That was a huge help. And I needed it...”
After a long sigh, and some more tea, he looked up.
“The four Chaos Gods started looping.”
The gentle pegasus winced.
“I know! Sure, they're not nearly as bad, now... I think they're suffering the reverse version of... what did your friend call it, Sakura syndrome?”
Fluttershy nodded. “Reverse version? So they're just... bored of all the chaos?”
A shrug. “Basically. Or at least mass-death chaos. The galaxy's a safer place, now, but it's also a lot harder to keep track of – and when you consider normal for us, that's saying a lot...”
Freki padded over to Fluttershy and gave her a pleading look.
“Okay,” she said, and mixed up another two cups.
Once that was done, she smiled. “I have something... nice, to show you.”
She blurred, and once that was done an adult wolf stood where she had.
Rush looked the wolf up and down, slowly and carefully. “Little mother?”
The wolf nodded.
“...that's so cool! Come on, boys, playtime!”
Freki, Geri and Rush all pounced.
Fluttershy skipped back, letting the wolves miss, then caught Rush's mane gently between her teeth and plopped him on the ground again.
“You're not winning that easily!” Rush laughed, spinning to face her.
Angel Bunny tromped home.
On hearing the barks and laughter coming from inside his nominal owner's cottage, he decided she didn't really need to learn about his failure just yet.
(It was surprisingly hard to make ponies turn their music down when the music made the ground act like a springy trampoline.)
Maybe the manticore would be up for a thumb-wrestle...
35.1 continued
“Are you sure you'll be okay with this, Gilda?” Twilight asked quietly. “I'm sure none of us would blame you if you took a raincheck for the next few loops and worked with Dash to build something useful.”
Gilda shrugged, full of bravado – which both knew at least partly feigned. “I got this.”
“Sure?” Twilight double-checked.
“Sure.”
“Okay, then.” Twilight nodded. “But, you know, introduce yourself to Dash first, we've got a good few hours before the Summer Sun celebrations start.”
“Good idea.” Gilda looked up, eyes flicking across the sky, then took wing.
“Hey, slowpoke!”
Dash jerked awake. “Wha-”
A familiar griffin flew into sight. “Hi, Dash. Bet you didn't expect to see me around here!”
“Gilda!” Dash's face lit up. “Celestia's muzzle, I haven't seen you in... must be years. How are you doing?”
“Eh, you know me.” Gilda flared her wings, and landed on Dash's cloud. “Snorting fire at every pony who pisses me off, mostly. What about you?”
Dash grinned. “I'm in charge of the weather around here.”
“Well...” Gilda looked around, contemplatively. “That explains all the clouds.”
“Hey, I could clear those in ten seconds flat!” Dash protested. “It's totally a legit use of time to rest up. Fliers need their rest!”
“I'm sure.” Gilda flicked her tail. “Hey, watch this. Some pony taught it to me a while back.”
She flicked her tail again, and a cloud fell in half.
“Cool, huh?”
“What the...” Dash blinked, and focused. No matter whether she was looping or not, the blue pegasus was an expert at practical applications of weather magic. “Was that... some kind of air blade?”
“Basically,” Gilda agreed easily. “Anyway, enough about me. So, who else is awesome around here?”
“...the night will last forever!”
Gilda raised a clawed foot. “Point of order.”
“What?” Nightmare Moon turned to face her.
“Yeah. Well, I'm basically wondering... if it's eternal night here, what does that mean for the griffins?”
“...I do not follow, subject,” the dark alicorn said.
“I'm a free citizen of the Gryphon Lands, thank-you-very-much,” Gilda corrected. “Anyway, the griffins are, what, well into the twilight zone. So, if you're going to just have a bit of libration going on, then we'll be perfectly happy with that. Just a suggestion.”
“What is libration?” Nightmare Moon asked, puzzled.
Gilda waved her feet in the air. “Basically, it's when a world sort of... wobbles, I think? Kind of like a drunk bloke heading back to his house. He always faces towards it, but sometimes he's looking nearly straight at it and sometimes he's nearly staring into a shop only two doors down from where he's walking. So, for us, it'd mean the sun goes up, and then goes down again on the same side. Nice and regular.”
“...I may choose to ignore that,” the Nightmare said, with a flip of her wings. “What concern are the Gryphon Lands to me?”
“We-ll,” Gilda said, cricking her neck and taking a deep breath, “I couldn't possibly comment.”
Her tail lashed for a moment, then described a lazy arc behind her.
Nightmare Moon winced, and the moon wobbled a bit. “What did you just do?”
Gilda shrugged, her tail swirling again. “Nothing.”
The alicorn looked closer, still frowning as she held her moon steady. “Why has your coat gone white?”
Then her eyes flashed with dark lightning. “Lap-cat of Celestia!”
Gilda grinned. “Oh, hey, a challenge. Official and everything.”
As a magical glow built on Nightmare Moon's horn, Gilda whipped her tail across in a flat arc. Something seemed to linger behind the path it took-
-and, with the sound of clashing metal, Nightmare Moon's horn glow vanished.
“What?”
“It's called a power slash,” the griffin informed her opponent. “Hey, watch!”
The little tuft of fur at the end of her tail flickered in four distinct arcs, and the stage fell in under Nightmare Moon in a neat square.
Startled, the returned goddess fell into the basement in a cascade of splinters.
“Hey!” Gilda shouted into the hole, conscious of the awed gazes of about half of Ponyville. “Do you surrender yet?”
She danced back from the hole with wings flaring. “Whoa, guess not!”
With a crash, Nightmare Moon emerged from beneath the floor, horn blazing. “Insolent, insignificant little sparrow!”
Then all her feathers came off in a cloud of cut pinions.
Gilda winced at the thud.
“What about now?”
A cloud of dark, starry smoke boiled up through the hole.
One final tail-movement. This time, a five hundred and forty degree spiral arc. As she finished it, Gilda reared up and beat her wings once.
Sudden, gale-force winds blew down the back wall and carried the cloud with them into a nearby house.
The cloud hit with an incongruous thud.
As the bamboozled Empress of Darkness coalesced, Gilda strode over and grabbed her helm. “Yoink.”
Turning to the stunned ponies, she put it carefully on her head. “Hey, this makes me the ruler of the night, now, right? ...wait, hang on, or is that a thing only griffins do?”
Laughing and joking, Gilda walked slowly back to Twilight's house in the gathering dawn, with a dozen or so ponies asking questions of her almost non-stop.
“Hey, it's Gryphonic law, I thought she was challenging me to a duel! Well, she kinda was – just, less duel more splat. Or so she thought...” a wink.
This time, Rarity asked a question.
“The coat? Heh, bit of a trick I picked up. It's just when I do the painting thing with my tail, though, not sure all the details. It looks cool, though. Come on, guys, I need my beauty sleep.”
Reluctantly, the crowd drew back, and Twilight let Gilda in through the door.
The griffin didn't look back until the door was closed.
“Are the curtains shut?” she asked quietly.
“Yep.” Twilight nodded.
“Good.” Gilda flopped onto a couch.
“...bucking haybale, I must be crazy...” she said, in a distant tone. “I just fought an honour duel with an alicorn princess...”
Sweat was running down her face, and her forelegs were trembling as reaction set in.
“I did just do that, right?” she checked. “It wasn't just some crazy dream?”
“No, it was pre-tty cool,” Twilight confirmed. “I didn't realize you got the Brush powers working, that was great!”
“Cool. Hey, can I get a flannel?”
Twilight pulled one down from her bathroom and wetted it. “Here.”
“Thanks.” Gilda rubbed her eyes, then her beak. “Ah, I needed that.”
There was a silence.
“...you know, it wasn't all bravado,” the griffin said in a quiet voice.
“Oh?”
“All that posturing. Pretending I didn't have a care in the world.” Gilda shrugged. “Partly it was – Dash and I are like that – but not all of it. I was...” Gilda's voice husked for a moment. “Terrified. I had a plan, but...”
She rubbed the flannel over her face again.
“Right. Basically, I had to keep her off balance. I'm not bad, I like to think, but I couldn't beat an alicorn princess in an actual fight.”
Twilight nodded along.
“So, I relied on the brush stuff being too... different, really, for her to understand.”
“I know what you mean,” Twilight assured her. “I've used it a lot. The trick is to not let the enemy refocus – make sure they're trying to work out what your terms even are, not let them realize they could ignore them.”
“Exactly.” Gilda took a deep breath. “Phew. Okay, I'm hungry. Any ideas?”
“I think I can do an omlette,” Twilight said, already flipping through files on a PADD. “I learned because it's just polite to give human visitors... well, recognizable food...”
She paused. “Oh, just so you know, we generally consider it impolite to seriously damage town property unless necessary. But, then, we actually wreck the place once every six months on average, so no harm done. Just something to remember.”
“Sure.” Gilda nodded. “I can try – well, that or work on Rejuvenation. Anything else?”
“Learn a defensive technique. Seriously, you're going to need one if you keep going up against alicorns...”
35.4
“So, how is this... gonna work?” Applebloom asked, prodding her new necklace.
Hay if I know. Cookie sent a mental version of a shrug. Last we remember was basically dying of old age, and then here we were. Don't ask us...
“Right.” Applebloom looked up at Twilight. “Are they gonna start Looping?”
Twilight winced. “I doubt it – not on their own, anyway. I mean, they don't have anypony to be in a normal loop...”
Loops? Cookie's mental tone sharpened with interest. What are 'loops'?
Earth pony filly and sometimes-alicorn librarian mare exchanged a look.
“'Bloom, can you go get your friends and their, er... new... friends? I think it'd be easier to explain all this just once.”
“...so, anyway,” Twilight finished, clicking her slide projector past the end of the carousel, “that's the jist of it.”
The Crusaders snored.
“It wasn't that boring,” she said, sounding slightly hurt.
No, it wasn't, Cover broadcast. But I think they've heard it all before...
What does this mean for us? Pansy asked, getting right to the heart of the matter.
“I honestly don't know.” Twilight frowned. “My daughter's about the only being I know of who loops despite not having existed during the core loop – for her it's kind of a loophole, because she's an actualized alter ego... anyway. From what I know of the matter, you might just... stop existing once the Loop ends.”
The three disembodied founders conversed amongst themselves for quite some time.
You are sure that a looper must inhabit their own body? Cookie said, carefully.
“Well... we've never known it to happen otherwise, except in particularly strange fused loops...” Twilight rubbed her chin. “Sometimes we turn up as other kinds of body, or even in one another's bodies, but then we're established as loopers...”
And no non-looper may share the body of a looper? continued the earth pony, methodically working down a mental list.
“Aha!” Twilight's eyes lit. “I may have something!” She cleared her throat, and held out her hoof. “OWL?”
A bracelet appeared around her lower leg.
Stand by, ready.
“This is Owl, I picked him up in a Nanoha Loop. He's an Intelligent Device, technically bonded to what may be my soul – I've lost the bracelet to a Loop two or three times, before, and it's always been the same Owl once I reconstructed another one.”
Ah. Yes, that does have potential.
Cookie paused, and Clover took up the slack. How does one bind an Intelligent Device?
“I can do it fairly easy, providing both halves of the bond are willing and I have the devices...” Twilight said, thinking. “I did it for Trixie and her Device, Loki, and that seems to have stuck. Yes, I should be able to.”
Good, Pansy commented. Now, er... how long until they wake up?
35.5 (Masterweaver)
"...and after we managed to find away around the spider eggs, we stuck the key in the chest... and it turned out to be the wrong key! Daring basically just threw up her hooves and dragged the entire chest out of the ruins all the way to Fillydelphia." Trixie grinned, leaning forward. "Guess what was inside."
Chrysalis tapped her chin. "I'm thinking.... another riddle map?
"Yep! Another riddle map!" The unicorn laughed as she leaned back in her chair. "All that for another bucking riddle map, but that's not the best part. The temple that riddle map led to had been excavated and thoroughly plundered DECADES ago!"
"Oh no," Chrysalis gasped dramatically, her eyes wide as she brought her hooves to her mouth. "Dealing with bureaucracy?! That had to be terrible for her!"
"Ha, yeah. She was lucky I was around." Trixie sighed. "That was... a completely crazy loop. And that was before Discord got involved." She let her eyes drift across the plates of hay fries to the black pegasus sitting across from her. "What about you? What's your craziest Loop story?"
Chrysalis rubbed the back of her head. "Well... I'm still fairly new as a looper, and most of my loops tend to start baseline. I mean, I don't invade Canterlot, I usually go straight to Celestia and negotiate an integration, but aside from minor differences in how ponies view changelings it's all mostly routine."
"Oh come on, you've got to have something!"
"...there was this one loop where Celestia was the only pony. Everyone else was secretly a changeling." The black pegasus rolled her eyes. "I know it sounds a lot less dramatic then your Daring Do loop, but with all the hives and the subterfuge it was just... wild. Even after I made peace with Celestia...." She shook her head. "Honestly, Twilight had to keep a chart on her at all times to keep track."
"Twilight Sparkle was actually confused?"
"Yeah."
"Wow, that... wow." Trixie shook her head. "That had to have been stressful. Still, all changelings, huh? Shape Twist must have been popular!"
Chrysalis blushed a bit. "You... know about that?"
"My special talent is stage magic. Illusions aren't quite the same as shapeshifting, but..." Trixie shrugs. "I think I'd be fairly good at it."
"I'm not, actually. I can do ears and tail, but... Biology is hard." Chrysalis shrugged. "Well, nonmagical biology. The more magical a creature is, the easier it is for me to pulse into it. Unless it's unstable magic. It's really all rather complex."
Trixie tapped her chin thoughtfully. "Well... what if you pumped the aura of an ordinary animal with magic? That would make it easier to read, at least..."
"...That could work," Chrysalis mused. "I mean... I don't know what would happen, but... yeah, that's an idea. I'll run it by Fluttershy when we have our next practice session."
"Fluttershy the werewolf... Werepone? Ponewolf? I mean, it kind of makes sense, but it's so unexpected."
"Apparently it's a fused loop thing.... I still haven't had one of those. Mostly just variant loops.”
Trixie chuckled and shook her head. "Trust me, it can get weird. Twilight's mentioned this one loop where she was a pet and a secret agent at the same time-"
"Ahem." The waiter walked up. "I am afraid, madams, that the restaurant is closing."
Trixie glanced at the clock. "Wow, is it that late already? Huh. Well, um... this was fun, actually. I wouldn't mind doing it again... same time next week?"
Chrysalis smiled. "Sure. Why not."
35.6 (Nikas)
Diamond Tiara looked from the talking ferret to the jewel turned staff he gave her, to the surprised looking Cutie Mark Crusaders.
The first was only... mildly strange; he did come out of the Everfree, after all. The second was a bit more head turning, but only because of a magical artifact responding to an Earth Pony. The third was jaw dropping, because the surprise was not "What the Buck is That?" The looks of the CMC were more along the lines of "Why the Buck is that Here?"
She sighed. "You girls know what this is." It was in no way a question. "Something from another Loop I wasn't in?"
Applebloom shook her head. "Not us personally. Miss Twilight was in some loops like that."
Both fillies ignored Scootaloo's muttered "Be easier to count places she hasn't been."
Her fellow Earth Pony nodded. "Anyway, she made us something along those lines, well the reasons are involved and we have a rampaging magical artifact to capture and seal first."
Diamond Tiara nodded as the Crusaders produced magical devices – and why the hay did they name them for the Founders, anyway? Was it the three-friends-three-tribes thing? "Right, any pointers?"
Sweetie Belle piped up. "Well, Equestrian Magic runs on Friendship. Mid Childa Magic runs on Befriending. At least you have the right coat colour for it."
Diamond Tiara shook her head wondering why she could hear the capitalization and color of that word. "Right, more stuff to explain later. HEY UGLY, STEP AWAY FROM THE SWEET SHOP!"
35.7 (Masterweaver)
Twilight walked in, giving Macintosh a weary look. "Thanks for setting up the bar early this loop."
"Not a problem." The stallion slid her a mug. "Let me guess: something about yer last loop got under yer skin?"
"Oh yeah." Twilight had never been one to quaff back cider; even now, it was just a small gulp. "Strange thing is, I didn't pick up on it. Thought it was a normal lonely loop. I went the route of, well, basically being Pinkie Pie the Nerd. It's a lonely loop thing." She shrugged. "Nothing seemed off at all, and then the wedding rolled around."
Macintosh sighed. "Did Cadance turn out ta have been a changeling all along again?"
"Oh, no. No, Cadance was still in the caves." Twilight laughed wryly. "Thing is, she got replaced before Shining even started dating her."
"....what."
"Yep!" The unicorn took a sip of her cider. "Poor ol' Cadance, trapped in there almost a year, while Chrysalis fell in love with my brother. Neither of them were awake, so that's something, but when I brought her to the wedding she was completely shocked. Apparently she only thought of Shining as a brother."
"Well... Shining can't have taken that well."
"Oh it gets better." Twilight finished off her cider. "Cadance took the opportunity to propose to her real true love... who, it turns out, was me! I mean, that came completely out of nowhere! And, somehow, she'd gotten it in her head that alicorns were above good and evil. Actually, all of Canterlot thought that alicorns could do whatever they wanted, and Chrysalis managed to get them to forgive her for invading – forgive her for INVADING! Just because she claimed to be a cursed alicorn." The unicorn shook her head with a sigh. "I mean that's true in some loops, but not that one..."
Macintosh chuckled to himself as he refilled the mug. "Begging yer pardon, Twi, but most o' Canterlot lack brains in certain ways."
"Ha. You have no idea.... apparently, Celestia had spent so much on the wedding that the nobles insisted SOMEBODY get married. Me and Shining kept trying to pass the buck to each other for a day or two before I just went alicorn myself and got you and Cheerilee on the pulpit." She paused. "Um, no offence..."
"Not awake, not me." The stallion nodded amicably. "Ah'm assumin' ya checked first. Did things cool down after that?"
"Oh I wish." Twilight sipped her cider. "Chrysalis and Cadance kept trying to seduce Shining and me... they started giving each other tips..."
35.6 continued (Masterweaver)
"Uh... Apple Bloom? You're talking to Smart Cookie again."
"Yeah, so?"
"I... really really really don't want to sound rude here, but from what I know of Intelligent Devices...." Diamond Tiara searched for the right words. "She's not really, you know, autonomous, right? She's a computer, not..."
Apple Bloom stared at her for a while. Suddenly she sighed. "Riiiiight, ya'll weren't Awake fer that first Nightmare Night loop. Um, how do Ah put this... this is Smart Cookie. The founder."
"...what."
"See, Cubic Zirconia there, she was made as an Intelligent Device, but..." The farmer filly rubbed the back of her head. "Well... see, there was this one loop where we decided ta dress up as the Founders fer Nightmare Night... but, um, because of magic we actually became the founders. And then, because of magic, the founders kind of stayed around after the costume thing was finished, only they were necklaces... We weren't sure if they'd start looping..."
Diamond Tiara shook her head in disbelief. "That has got to be the third weirdest loop I've heard of. Okay, so you guys have... actual people there, fine."
Apple Bloom narrowed her eyes. "It's probably wise ta treat all A.I.s as people, least when yer first meeting them. Ah mean, it's really fifty fifty, and being polite makes it less likely they'll try ta overthrow 'organic masters' and really just go for equality."
"Alright, alright... Um... Zirconia, do you think of yourself as a person?"
The staff in Diamond Tiara's hooves beeped and flashed for a bit.
"That so doesn't clear things up at all." Smart Cookie and Cubic Zirconia flashed erratically for a few seconds. Diamond Tiara rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah, laugh it up..."
After a moment, she turned to Apple Bloom. "So, uh... what were you two talking about anyway?"
To her surprise, the yellow filly glanced away quietly. "Ah'd really rather not say." Smart Cookie beeped. "No, it's... it's personal."
"Apple Bloom...."
An aggravated, resigned sigh escaped Apple Bloom's lips. "We were talking bout her family, okay?"
"...Alright...?"
The two of them sat there for a while.
"...It's not bad fer her," Apple Bloom explained eventually. "She was literally pulled from her deathbed to the... to our time, before we made her a device, she had all her affairs in order. It's just..." She sighed, shaking her head. "How many loops have Ah gone like this? The Apple family, well, we pride ourselves on family. And here Ah am, stuck right at the cusp of puberty. Sometimes Ah'm older.... sometimes Ah'm a LOT older, like Ah'm where Granny Smith would be, normally. And those loop memories give me husbands and children and Ah know, right when the loop resets, there Ah am again being a blank flanked filly."
"...Maybe you'll have kids someday," Diamond Tiara offered. "I mean, Nyx--"
"Loophole. She already existed, just... not like that. The loops consider Nyx and Nightmare Moon ta be the same pony..." Apple Bloom shrugged. "Best Ah can really hope for is living vicariously through Cookie's past."
"Oh... that... that sucks." Diamond Tiara shook her head. "Wow. I never even thought of that!"
"That's why we can't have kids in th' loops," Apple Bloom explained. "They might not loop and.... well, whoever's running this thing isn't that cruel." She stood. "Anyway, Ah'm feeling pissy. Wanna go find some monsters ta befriend?"
"Sure, why not."
35.8 (Masterweaver)
"Hey mom, Luna's not Awake this loop so I thought I'd just drop by to..."
Nyx trailed off as her eyes landed on the unicorn who was... sitting at the kitchen table, a steaming teacup in front of her, staring out the window.
"...Mom? You okay?"
Twilight Sparkle took a breath... and slowly let it out. "Hmmm. Well... I'm just a little melancholy."
The black alicorn trotted up to the table, sitting in the chair next to her. "Want to talk about it?"
"...no." Twilight sighed. "But it'll probably help... last loop, I Awakened in my childhood. See, I wanted to see if I could get a different cutie mark, something other then magic as a special talent. I had to bribe Dash not to do a rainboom... Lived in Canterlot for a while. A long while..."
She sipped her tea.
"Nothing was working, so I figured; why not make a crusader group all my own? I had my two blank flank friends, we had an adventure...." A small giggle escaped her lips. "Turns out Friendship is Magic. I got the same mark I always get..."
Nyx tilted her head. "So... you're upset you got the same mark?"
"No. I was upset, but Fleur and Flash... they didn't understand why. They just kept pestering and asking until finally... I... I told them."
Her daughter took in a sharp breath. "Oh... oh, I... I'm sorry-"
"You know, if you're awake the loop's end is really beautiful. Terrible, but beautiful." Twilight nodded to herself. "They were so afraid... I invited them over for one last tea party. They'd never told anyone else, of course. I... I lied to them, told them they were loopers, that they might be Awake next time...." She sighed. "This morning I arranged to 'meet' Fancypants, over a little matter at Celestia's school. Fleur.... she didn't recognize me. I don't know where Flash Sentry is now, but... he promised to send me a letter if..."
Without even a second thought, Nyx nuzzled her mother.
35.9 (misterq)
"The night shall last forever!" the statement was followed by maniacal laughter on the stage. It was another weird loop, Twilight thought. Instead of Nightmare Moon, it was Tirek that came back from being banished by the two pony princesses.
"Um, is it my turn to handle this?" Fluttershy asked.
Her purple unicorn friend nodded, "Sure, it's all yours. Have fun."
The yellow pegasus nodded from under her mane, "Alright. I've got to go, um, train."
As she flew off, Twilight thought she had detected a hint of a mischievous smile on the reserved animal caretaker, druid, and fellow looper.
Instead of doing anything herself, she just stood off to the side with the remaining elements of harmony as the evil centaur gloated and monologued about his plans.
Suddenly, two green vines burst from one of the walls. They sped along the stage, passing Tirek on either side, before leaving through the far wall.
"What manner of trickery is this?" the villain looked down carefully at the new plants.
Twilight stared at the vines, "Those almost look like.."
That was when a smiling locomotive-riding Fluttershy crashed through the wall at full speed and hit Tirek with the Ponyville Express.
"Tracks," Twilight finished in a deadpan.
Pinkie Pie looked up with a smile.
"I get it now! She had to go 'Train'!" the pink pony started giggling until she fell down on the floor from laughter.
Fluttershy landed next to a twitching hoof sticking out of a pile of rubble.
"Now no more talk about bringing eternal night or ruling the world, mister!"
"This is only a minor setback! I will... what is that?" the voice from inside the rubble pile sounded confused, "Wait, no wait! They're everywhere!"
Vines had started to enter into the small cracks in the pile of debris. A lot of vines.
"Now what was that about giving up on your evil plans?" Fluttershy asked patiently.
Tirek growled with signs of struggle.
"Don't make me send in the squirrels," the yellow pegasus said, adding, "and I know a lot of squirrels."
The struggling stopped, "... I'll behave."
"That's better," Fluttershy smiled.
"So, why a train, of all things?" asked Rarity.
Fluttershy just gave a shy smile. "I like trains."
35.10
Twilight knocked on her assistant's door.
“Come in,” Spike called, and she pushed it open.
Inside was... well, a mess. Notes, sketches, designs and even a few mathematical formulae covered the desk, the bed, three walls, and... yes, there were a few clipped to the ceiling as well.
“You look busy,” Twilight said lightly.
“I am,” Spike replied. “Hey, is Cadance awake this Loop?”
“Nope,” Twilight shook her head. “Why?”
“Wedding planning.” Spike moved a few sketches and sat down.
“Ouch.” Twilight winced.
“Yeah.” Spike shrugged helplessly. “I want it to be the best I can make it... she deserves it. But... well, we've seen things which would make the most jaded pony just stand and stare. How can I measure up to that?”
Twilight thought for a good long while.
“I admit, I'm not all that good at this,” she said, slowly, “but it seems to me you have two options.”
“Two's better than none,” Spike said, clapping his hands. “Let's hear them.”
“Okay. Option one is that you two go and have a private wedding.” Twilight smiled gently. “I may not be good at this kind of thing, but I've seen the two of you together – she wouldn't care if you got married in an epic cathedron or a... a hedge, really.”
Spike nodded.
“The other option is to ask for help. From all of us, not just Cadence and I. If you're planning to wait until we're all here at the same time, then do – I'll let the others know you're after help when I see them.”
“I see.” Spike nodded again, and frowned. “I... don't know,” he confessed. “Part of me wants to show the world how lovely Rarity is... I'm just not sure, Twi. Sorry.”
Twilight bowed her head. “You don't need to make a decision now. Think it over.”
“I will,” he promised.
"You know, Spike, there's no reason you can't do both."
"I thought of that but... I don't know."
"It might be for the best, you both get a private intimate exchange of vows – you could be by yourselves or perhaps a few select witnesses. Then you can have a big event that will be the envy of the Looper's everywhere. Remember we functionally have eternity, myself more so. Anything Rarity and you want for this tell me and I'll get it.” Twilight grinned at him. “That's my wedding present to you.”
"That's really tempting, but the big – the main reason I don't know if a big event is a good idea is that I... I don't want our first years together spoiled by ponies or... or, hay, anyone, complaining that Rarity's marrying a child. The 'Big Circles' in Canterlot all know I'm well under age and by the time I'd be old enough our loop is usually over..." Spike kicked the chair, sounding surprisingly bitter. "I know it'll happen eventually, but I don't want it to happen – I want it to not happen for as long as possible, and definitely not at or just after our wedding."
Twilight smiled. "That, at least, isn't a problem that's going to be hard to solve."
"It's not?" Spike asked hopefully.
"Oh No!" Twilight cried out theatrically, "Twilight's lost control of an experimental spell and The Elements, Spike and a bunch of others have been sucked into a magical portal! What ever shall we do! The portal has disappeared! Oh wait another portal is appearing! The horror! The HORROR! Yay! They're all back! Wait do they look older to you?"
She grinned, "We say we travelled to a bunch of different worlds over fifteen to twenty years or so before managing to come back and that gives us an excuse to use anything you and Rarity want without raising more eyebrows. What do you say?"