//------------------------------// // The Four Horsemen // Story: The Sharpest Tool // by Samey90 //------------------------------// The Detrot Royal Guards’ station was bigger than the one in Ponyville, but Twilight could see many similarities, like old, scratched furniture, dull grey paint on the walls and ubiquitous smell of dust, sweat, cheap coffee, parchment and mould. The commandant of the guards was Surveillance’s old friend, called Cold Case. His brown coat had already started to go grey, but his eyes had a spark of wisdom acquired during long years of service in them, and his deep voice was somehow calming to everypony within earshot. “Good afternoon, Ms Sparkle,” he said when Surveillance introduced her, “I heard that you helped much with catching the Toolsmith three years ago.” “Well, that’s not…” “I’ve read your paper. Psychology is my hobby, but here we have to deal with brutal force,” he levitated some photos, “I think you’ve heard about Krönlein shot, but I need to warn you that it doesn’t look nice…” Twilight of course heard about Krönlein shot, but still seeing the effects of it caused an unpleasant sensation in her stomach. “Are you sure she did it?” “Yes. She probably snuck into the hotel through the emergency exit and flew away from the balcony. The washermare had seen somepony similar to her in the backyard, before he was killed.” “Do you have any other witnesses? Or informants maybe?” Surveillance asked. “Well, the first results were promising, we caught about dozen of ponies with a scars on their faces, another dozen of ponies with short manes and a bunch of random hobos. Still, none of them was her. You know, there are lots of places to hide in this town. Night Watch helps us, they have some informations… gossips, actually, but they’re really good.” “Night Watch?” “You’ll like those guys, Ms Sparkle.” *** “I have to warn you: they’re a bit strange. They don’t like to be called Royal Guards, they prefer Night Watch instead,” Cold Case explained, “And, for Faust’s sake, don’t make any sudden moves around that mare.” They were walking through a staircase of some graffiti-painted block of flats. Cold Case stopped in front of a green door on the third floor and knocked it. “Come in!” said somepony with almost unnoticeable trace of foreign accent. Cold Case opened the door and they trotted inside. At first Twilight thought that a black pony with fireball cutie mark, standing in the hall was a pegasus, but then she noticed that his wings were different – featherless and similar to a bat’s. His ears were bigger than average pony’s ones. His mane was dark blue, and his yellow eyes were looking at her carefully. “Frau Sparkle, I suppose?” he asked, “Name’s Flammenwerfer. Follow me.” When he walked to the living-room, she saw that instead of hooves, his hind legs had a set of small claws. “Evolution,” he laughed, noticing her stare. The living-room was rather messy, and Twilight thought it similar to Rainbow Dash’s house: some empty pizza boxes and beer cans were scattered around the floor. In the middle of the room stood a sofa with another bat-pony on it, watching a TV. He was a bit shorter than Flammenwerfer, but more muscular. To Twilight’s surprise, she found out that his cutie mark resembled Fluttershy’s: three moths were in exactly the same position as her butterflies. “Sorry for ze mess,” he said, his accent thicker than his roommate’s, “Gestern we had a small party. By ze way, my name ist Falter.” “Judging by the state of this flat, you have a small party every day,” Cold Case remarked, “Where’s Schwalbe?” “Sleeping in her room. Gonna wake her up,” Falter said and lifted himself from the sofa. When he opened the door to another room, Twilight saw almost normal bedroom, complete with Wonderbolts’ poster on the wall. However, there was no bed, instead of it there was a perch on the ceiling with a dark silhouette hanging from it. “Wach auf, Faulenzerin!” Falter exclaimed. “Leck mich am Arsch, Huresohn,” a grumpy mare’s voice replied him. “Schwalbe doesn’t really speak your language, but if you speak slowly, she’ll understand,” Flammenwerfer explained, “She came here from Flankfurt only recently.” Meanwhile, a bat-mare called Schwalbe flew off the perch and followed Falter back to the room. She gave Twilight a nasty look and said: “Was ist das? Ein Frühstück?” “Don’t worry, we don’t normally eat ponies,” said Falter, mistaking Twilight’s confused expression for fear. “Schwalbe, this is Twilight Sparkle from Ponyville. She came here to help us looking for Flitter.” A bat-mare tried to pronounce Twilight’s name, but after few failed attempts she came up with a short, angry speech, repeating words “Scheisse” and “Frühstück” several times. “She’s glad to meet you and apologizes for her lack of language skills,” Flammenwerfer translated with a poker face. “Yeah, and she’ll call you “breakfast” instead,” Falter giggled. “No problem,” said Twilight. The two stallions started to argue whether their companion ever apologized for something, and the unicorn looked at her carefully. If Flammenwerfer was slender, then Schwalbe was almost a skeleton. When she spread her wings for a moment, Twilight saw the ribs under the black fur. Her mane was styled in a mohawk, reminding Twilight of Zecora, and her cutie mark was a bird of prey. She was wearing a necklace made of fangs which looked strangely familiar. “Are these…” “Changelings’ fangs” said Falter casually, “And she didn’t buy it.” “Ok, Ms Sparkle, I’ll leave you with them,” said Cold Case, “Surveillance and I are going to look for the Toolsmith in a more… conventional way.” When he left the flat, Flammenwerfer asked: “So, do you have any questions about our methods or us? We’re used to ponies looking at us, so that’s not a problem.” “Me… oh,” Twilight noticed that she was staring at the bat-ponies in awe for the whole time, “Maybe one question: do you always sleep upside-down?” To her surprise, the answer came from Schwalbe: "Die Fledermausponys haben zwanzig Prozent cooler Flügel,” she said. “Ach ja,” Falter added, “As you can see, Schwalbe can’t speak Pony and generally despises your culture, yet she knows ze Wonderbolts’ catchphrases by heart.” “Arschloch,” Schwalbe muttered hostilely. “But she’s right,” Flammenwerfer said, “Being a bat-pony means not only twenty per cent cooler wings, there are also other traits that come with it. You’ll see some of them tonight.” “Tonight? What are we going to do?” “Investigate. While ze Royal Guards prefer to work during the day, and waste time for ze paperwork, we prefer to work at night. Zis town gets much more interesting after dark,” Falter explained. “There are lots of places to hide here,” Flammenwerfer added, “Old factories, sewers, whatever you like. Our task is to check them all.” “Just three of you?” “Well, four, including you. We’ve heard about your victories over Discord, changelings, Sombra and Nightmare Moon, so you’ll be a nice addition to the team,” Flammenwerfer smiled. “Yeah, we might not look like, but we’ve also faced many enemies,” Falter laughed. “As mercenaries?” asked Twilight innocently. “How do you know?” “It’s easy – even if I haven’t guessed by the language, you mentioned that Schwalbe came from Flankfurt, so you’re from Germaney. She also calls me “breakfast”, and you said that you don’t normally eat ponies, which is quite Griffonian, I’d say. So, you’ve met at least some griffons. Few years ago there was massive infestation of changelings in Germaney and Ponyland, and the griffonian army and koniks were hiring mercenaries to deal with them. Schwalbe wears a necklace made of changelings’ fangs, so it’s not hard to guess that she’s a warrior. I won’t be surprised if you know at least a few words in koniks’ language.” “Now I understand why Cold Case was so excited, when he told us that you’ll come here,” said Flammenwerfer. “Yup, and you’re right about koniks,” Falter added, “Zey started to call me something like “pieprznięty szkop”, after I charged a zeppelin stolen by changelings wif a knife. I guess it means “a hero” or somefing.” “It doesn’t,” Flammenwerfer whispered to Twilight, when his friend was zoned out, thinking about the glory days. Schwalbe cleared her throat and stared meaningfully at her companions. “Oh yes,” said Flammenwerfer, “We’ll have to go soon. I’ll bring the equipment.” Equipment consisted of military saddlebags full of items which function was unknown to Twilight. “We usually use echolocation in the darkness, but I have a night-vision device for you. Just remember not to stare directly in the source of light while wearing it. We also have clothes for you,” Flammenwerfer shown her a black suit similar to one she was wearing when she went back in time, “Do you want a Kampfmesser?” he took a large knife from the saddlebags. Twilight thought it was designed rather to sever limbs than buttering the bread. “Are we going to fight someone?” she asked, shocked. “I don’t fink so, but zere are some situations in ze sewers when ze knife comes in handy – usually ze screws to unscrew, but nasty stuff also happens: rats big like cats, mutant turtles…” Twilight nodded her head, but didn’t accept the knife. She put the spy suit on and looked at herself in a mirror. “Now you look less like a rich pony from Canterlot who came here to get robbed,” said Flammenwerfer. “Yeah… I wonder if it’s a good idea…” *** “That’s not a good idea.” “Why not? We have an information that somepony similar to her was seen here.” “It’s a sewer! I thought you were joking…” “Don’t worry, now is ze best time to go zere. Ze ponies went to sleep and zere’ll be no high tide till ze morning, if you know what I mean,” Falter laughed. “I know, but somehow it doesn’t calm me down.” “Ich hoffe niemand hat heute ein Durchfall…“ Schwalbe muttered before jumping into the drain. “Your turn, Twilight.” The unicorn put on the gas mask with night-vision goggles and stepped down the iron ladder. “Dunkel als Sombras Arsch,” said Schwalbe. “Yeah, but this won’t stop us,” said Flammenwerfer who just joined them, followed shortly by Falter. Twilight looked around. In night-vision goggles everything seemed green. The tunnel was quite spacious, with sidewalks on both sides of the putrid stream of water. She could hear the rustling of it and some high-pitched sounds which she identified as squeaks of rats. “Ok, time for ze magic,” said Falter and suddenly he made a sound. Or at least Twilight thought so by movement of his lips, because she couldn’t hear anything. For a moment his ears were moving, searching for echo of an ultrasound. “Zere’s somepony about a mile north from us,” he concluded. They started to walk up the tunnel. The bat-ponies were using ultrasonic sounds to find a way in darkness, leaving Twilight to only follow them, stepping carefully on the slippery surface. They were wandering around the sewers for about twenty minutes, when suddenly Twilight felt a cold wind blowing from her left side. She looked there to see another tunnel. She looked into it to see something moving few yards in front of her. Curious, she went few steps up the tunnel and suddenly a bright flash of green light blinded her. She stepped back, covering her eyes and slipped, falling into the muddy water, which embraced her instantly. She tried to scream only to feel the water filling her gas mask and lungs. A feeling of flying away overcame her. And then, somepony hit her face. “Dummkopf!” Schwalbe spat, “Willst du ein Frühstück für die Ratte bekommen?“ “There’s somepony there!” Twilight cried, and coughed up some water. Her gas mask was removed, and the stench was overwhelming. Trying not to breathe, she stood up shakily, and suddenly threw up in front of Schwalbe, whose usual, indifferent expression changed for a moment to a mix of disgust and curiosity, characteristic for the entomologists examining a new species of a really awful larva. A sounds of fight came from the darkness. “We got him!” Flammenwerfer shouted. Twilight lit her horn – there was no use in being stealthy anymore – and saw two bat-ponies hovering above the stream of sewage, holding a trashing earth pony stallion. His coat used to be yellow, but now it was covered in something Twilight didn’t want to think about, especially because her stomach was still upset. He was holding a flashlight in his teeth. “By ze way,” Falter said to their captive, “You have ze right to remain silent, but it’ll be better for you not to use it.” “May I talk to da good cop?” a yellow pony asked. “We are the good cops, mein Liebling,” said Flammenwerfer, “But if you want to talk to the bad cop, then we can arrange you a date with Schwalbe.” The mare in question smiled widely, making sure that the pony sees all her teeth, especially a shiny set of fangs. “Ya know what? I’ll stay with ya, guys. Whaddya want to know? I heard about those cultist who try to revive Nightma…” “We don’t care about this,” Twilight said, and levitated the photo of Flitter from her saddlebags, to find out that it was soaked. Fortunately, a mare was still recognizable. “Have you seen her?” The yellow pony looked at the photo carefully. “Yeah, it’s dat doper. She lives in da sewers… Ya know, I’m selling various stuff to ponies… And she was really weird…” “What do you mean by that?” “She wanted to buy some weapon from me, but had no cash,” he said, glancing nervously at Schwalbe, “And then suddenly she came to me with two thousand bits and bought sawed-off shotgun… the only weapon I had. She also asked for some drugs.” “Drugs? What drugs?” “Not those ya think of. Cough syrup, painkillers, eye drops, as if I was a bucking pharmacist. And she asked me for an address of the most expensive Neighponnian restaurant.” “Aren’t you trying to sell us some horseapples, Mr. Pharmacist?” Flammenwerfer asked, “She ran away from asylum, travelled here only to buy meds and go for a fancy lunch?” “Let’s throw him in that water…” Falter proposed, but was interrupted by Twilight. “Pufferfish,” she said. “What?” “Tetrodotoxin is one of the ingredients of her mind-controlling potion! She probably stole the pufferfish’s liver from the restaurant’s kitchen, or even from the waste bin. That’s why she needed those medicines, they’re another ingredient.” “Great…” Falter muttered. “Hey, guys… now, when you know everything, why don’t ya release me?” their captive asked. “You’re going to the station with us,” said Flammenwerfer, “Illegal weapon possession, probably drug dealing – you won’t have to worry about a place to live for a long time…” “Wait! What if I tell you where she lives?” “Zat’s what I like – cooperation,” Falter smiled. It was only a bit less creepy than Schwalbe’s grin. *** The yellow sewer dweller guided them to the hole in the wall. On the other side on it was a proper tunnel, with some lamps and without a stream of water of questionable cleanliness in the middle. “The tube’s unfinished tunnel. No one walks there, except some maintenance workers and, of course, hobos,” said Flammenwerfer after he looked around. “So, where is she?” Twilight asked. “Right behind da corner.” Schwalbe took off and silently flew up the tunnel to see if Flitter was home. She caught the ceiling with the claws on her hind legs, hanging upside-down from it, and gestured them to her. Even though the tunnel was empty, they approached the turn carefully. “Seems zat we’re in bedroom,” Falter said, pointing at the dirty blankets lying on the floor, near the wall. He sniffed them. “Nopony was zere for at least two days,” he commented. Twilight examined the blankets. She found some empty medicine packages, a small, empty cauldron and primus. “We should take it, maybe they’re some traces of the potion inside,” she said. “Do you think she’ll come back here?” Flammenwerfer asked. “Not really. When she was running away from the hospital, she took a photo of her sister with herself. It’s not here, so she probably abandoned this hideout.” “Or she’s sentimental and carries this photo with her everywhere.” “Maybe. But she took the potion, and didn’t go back for two days. I can hardly imagine her walking with the bottle of it for such a long time. She’s probably up to something.” “Yeah, but what?” Falter asked. “I don’t know yet. Let’s hope Cold Case and Surveillance found something.” *** “For the love of Luna, Twilight Sparkle! Where have you been?” Surveillance asked, wincing, and covering his nose with a hoof. “The sewers. We found a Toolsmith’s hideout in a tunnel. She prepared a new batch of the mind-controlling potion! We have a witness…” “That yellow stinky guy who looks as if he was a few sandwiches short of a picnic? When your new friends brought him to the cell, other prisoners threatened to sue us for violating the pony’s rights, unless we bathed him. And when I asked where have you been, it was a rhetorical question…” “Well, anyway, she has a potion, and she’s planning something…” “Well, that’s rather obvious. Two days ago she mugged our old friend, Vinyl Scratch.” “She stole two thousand bits?” “How do you know?” he looked at her, surprised. “She bought a shotgun and the ingredients from that guy we brought here…” she paused suddenly, and stared in the distance, zoning out. “Let me guess – you have an idea?” Surveillance deadpanned. Without a word she left the room and trotted to the cells. Through the bars she asked a yellow pony: “You called the mare you sold the shotgun to a “doper”. Was it only because she asked you for medicines?” “Will ya let me out?” “I can’t. But I can talk to the prosecutor,” Twilight thought for a moment, “And I’m Princess Celestia’s personal protégé, so I can tell her that you were very helpful and…” “Ok, ok! I saw her once with junkies from that foundation… ya know, they're preparing some kind of show in an old factory…” Twilight suddenly cursed loudly and galloped away, almost knocking Cold Case down. The trio of bat-ponies hanging out in front of the station followed her. “Using one’s connections, swearing and not caring about older ponies,” Cold Case said to Surveillance, “That filly spends way too much time with you…” *** The concert had just finished, and the pavement in front of the old factory was full of excited ponies, talking about DJ P0N3, who just gave probably the best show in her whole career. In the crowd of colourfully dressed music fans no one noticed the three bat-ponies flying above the street, and a purple unicorn running down the pavement. “Rainbow Dash! Rainbow Dash! Where are you?” “Twilight? I’m here… Hey, what the hell are you doing?” the pegasus in question snapped, when suddenly a dark silhouette appeared in front of her and started to talk excitedly in some foreign language. “Don’t worry, Rainbow, she’s with me,” said Twilight, whose jaw almost hit the pavement when she saw excited Schwalbe jumping around her friend. The unicorn thought that she looked like a vulture who just found a really big carcass. “What? Since when you have friends who are metalheads?” “Don’t worry, RD, she’s your fan,” Falter, who also landed near them, laughed. “F-fan?” Dash’s jaw dropped. When she had become a Wonderbolt, she had gained many fans. Some were normal, some, like the guy who proposed to her in a letter written in his own blood, were creepy, but probably nopony of them was stranger than a black mare with bat wings and a necklace made of changelings’ fangs. “Yup. She even has your photo in her bedroom,” said Falter. “Kannst du mir ein Autogramm schicken?“ Schwalbe asked. “Umm… what did she say?” Rainbow Dash whispered to Falter, seeing that Twilight was looking around, clearly anxious. “She wants an autograph,” he said. Rainbow Dash nodded, and, dictated by him, wrote “Für Schwalbe – Equestrias beste Fliegerin” on a piece of paper and gave it to the mare. “Dash, did something strange happened during the concert?” Twilight asked, “And where’s Scootaloo?” “Nothing, at least till you came here with those guys,” she said, pointing at the three batponies (Flammenwerfer just landed near them, saying that he hadn’t seen Flitter anywhere in the crowd), “And Scoots went to the little filly’s room…” a sudden realisation struck her, “…fifteen minutes ago?” “Sie macht die Nummer zwei,” Schwalbe said, looking at the Rainbow Dash’s autograph in awe, which, according to Twilight, looked even creepier than her smile. “Schwalbe, that was disgusting,” Flammenwerfer groaned. “We need to check on her,” said Twilight and headed to the building. “Why? Something happened?” Rainbow Dash asked, following her. “I hope not.” “Sorry, no entry,” said the small, green stallion with an orange mane. He was wearing an awful pink and yellow outfit, which in conjunction with his own colours could cause anypony with epilepsy to have a seizure. “We’re looking for our friend, Mr Freebass,” said Rainbow Dash, reading his name from an EADF badge on his costume, “A sixteen years old pegasus filly, orange with purple hair. Her name is Scootaloo.” Freebass thought for a moment. “Oh yeah, this one. She slipped on the wet floor and injured her head. Don’t worry, she’s alright,” he added, seeing their expressions, “Vinyl herself offered to help her, and called for the ambulance…” This, however, didn’t calm Twilight down. She entered the building and trotted towards the stage. “Has Vinyl been acting strange lately?” she asked Freebass. “Not stranger than usual.” Rainbow Dash was first to storm the backstage’s door. “There’s nopony here!” she said. Suddenly they heard the sound of cart’s wheel rolling on the concrete. “Is there a backdoor here?” Twilight asked. “Yes, it leads to the cart park. Now there's probably somepony transporting the equipment there.” *** It was a strange feeling for Vinyl. A mare’s voice in her head told her to make it the best show in her life – and she did. It also told her to use her magic to make a certain filly trip and fall. She then told Freebass that she’d wait with the young pegasus for the doctors. Then she arrived. A pegasus mare, wearing an EADF volunteer’s outfit. It was strange to hear her voice twice – in reality and in her own head. She helped her to put an unconscious filly on the cart with speakers, before any of the stallions pulling it noticed. Then the mare rode away, still maintaining contact with Vinyl. Now, get on the roof. There was an old, rusty ladder attached to the wall. She began to climb. You cannot attack Twilight Sparkle. No offence, but you aren’t the sharpest tool in the shed, she’d defeat you in ten seconds flat. Besides, I have something special for her… Twilight Sparkle. Vinyl saw her from the roof, standing on the backyard with Freebass, Rainbow Dash, and three other ponies she didn’t know. She heard Twilight Sparkle calling her name. Answer her. “I’m here, Twilight.” “Vinyl, what are you doing there? And where’s Scootaloo?” Vinyl saw three strange pegasi taking off to chase the cart. Don’t worry, they won’t catch me. Also, you should also run away. Fly away, princess. “Vinyl, what are you doing?” Freebass asked. Vinyl jumped to take off into the air. For a brief moment she thought that she managed to evade the pursuit. Oh, cannot fly, princess? Don’t worry, falling is almost like flying. Except maybe more permanent destination…