//------------------------------// // I: Awakening // Story: My Name Is Shade // by Dusk Raven //------------------------------// For the first time in my existence, I felt the sensation of flesh. A heart thumped within my newformed chest while lungs gasped for air. A tingling ran from my spine all the way to my hooves. I felt alive. I liked it.   I opened my eyes, and saw her. The lavender mare in whose mind I had resided for the past few days. Looked upon her with eyes she’d given me. My gaze met hers. I opened my mouth to speak.   And then the feeling of exhaustion hit me. If I weren’t already crumpled on the floor I would have collapsed completely. My eyes closed, and in that moment I yearned for a sleep which I had never felt before. In another moment, I had it.   …   My next sensation was one of warmth, of softness covering my body. My senses made out the feeling of a bed, of warm blankets. I shifted instinctively, settling further into the warmth and comfort. But this time, my body rejected sleep, my eyes resisting and forcing themselves open.   I found myself aware of several things. I was in a luxurious room, in a splendid four-poster bed. Sunlight streamed across the room from large windows along the room, barely veiled by indigo curtains. I was also not the room’s sole occupant.   On a sitting couch next to the bed sat a particular pony I had come to respect: Twilight Sparkle, personal student of Princess Celestia and scholar of friendship. She seemed to be asleep, however – curled up on the couch with a book lying on the floor before her.   I smiled. It produced a warmth in my chest to know she’d stayed at my bedside until I’d awoken. The others distrusted me, had been prepared to unleash the Elements of Harmony upon me if this new body was inhabited by a more malign presence. But Twilight had faith in me, had faith that I would prevail against the darkness I’d fought, my struggle against my own self to gain control of the body I now possessed. That meant a lot to me.   I reached a hoof out to her, brushing hers lightly. When this failed to rouse her, I drew back, smiling and thinking, I’ll let her sleep… she’s waited for me, I’ll wait for her.   I didn’t have to wait long. Before the sunlight’s angle grew much further, she began to stir. Slowly she rose to a sitting position, yawned, and opened her eyes. Her gaze fell upon me and her eyes met mine.   “Good morning, Twilight.” I said. I then frowned, realizing what I’d just said. “It is morning, right? Was I out the whole night?”   “Good morning, Shade. Yes, you were. You passed out right after your body formed.” She smiled. “Rainbow Dash was convinced you were faking it. Still, I was able to convince Princess Celestia to put you up in a good room until you recovered.” Her face changed to one of concern. “How do you feel?”   “I feel alive.” I stretched, my muscles responding with a pleasurable ache. I then levitated the blankets off me and stepped onto the floor, my hooves supporting me as though it weren’t the first time. I noted that I seemed to tower over Twilight, almost a full head taller than her. “It’s a wonderful feeling, not being cooped up in your head. No offense.”   She laughed a little. “None taken. I have to admit, it’s a little weird not hearing your thoughts all the time. It’ll take me a while before I can get used to talking to myself again.”   I chuckled. “Well, I-“ I was interrupted by a growling sound from my stomach. “I guess I’m hungry. Do you mind if I have breakfast with you?”   Twilight’s smile faded. “Princess Celestia wanted to see you as soon as you woke up…”   “Oh.” One half of my mouth turned into a frown. “I should have expected such. Well, let me at least find a mirror and make myself presentable.”   Twilight nodded. “There’s a bathroom over there,” she gestured with a hoof towards the other end of the room, where a bathroom indeed awaited. I made my way over there, not bothering to close the door behind me.   I stared into the mirror for what seemed like a long time. I stared into my own red eyes, pleased to see that the whites of my eyes were actually white, and not green with the taint of dark magic. It was also with surprise that I noted that my horn actually looked… normal. Gone was the curvature and the red gradient. It was a good change, I felt.   My mane was a mess, though. It looked just like Sombra’s, and I couldn’t fathom how Sombra could have stood to have his mane like that. I levitated a nearby hairbrush and attempted to tame it. My success was… limited. At least when I was done with it, it hung down a bit and didn’t look so wild. Maybe in time I’ll get used to it. I smiled at the thought.   When I was done with that I levitated a small cloth to me and turned on the water faucet, lowering the cloth into the stream to get it wet, and then wiped my face off, enjoying – well, not enjoying, but glad for – the feeling of the cold water on my face. Once that was done and the water was turned off, I turned and started to exit the bathroom, but something caught my eye: My cutie mark in the mirror’s reflection – a trio of red crystals, one larger and lower than the others.   I wondered. Is that Sombra’s cutie mark? Or my own? I didn’t remember Sombra’s cutie mark and no one in Canterlot had seen it while he was king, so I remained in the dark as to whether this was another unwanted relic of “my” past, or a part of my own self-identity. I sighed and left the bathroom.   Twilight was no longer in the room, but instead was waiting outside. The golden doors opened up onto a balcony, from which stairs descended into the castle. All things considered, it looked like I’d gotten a good room. Bodes well for my future, I thought. If Celestia had seen fit to give her latest “guest” a room like this, then it meant she at least intended on letting me go free. Otherwise, she’d simply have thrown me in the dungeon. There was still a chance I’d end up there, but it was a slim one, I hoped.   Twilight led me around and through the castle on the way to Celestia’s throne room. I slowly began to recognize the path from when Twilight had walked in, still carrying me in her mind. I looked around at my surroundings as I walked. Despite the guard presence, the castle was truly beautiful. It was clear that it was built by architects more concerned with things like aesthetics and beauty than with war. This was a castle, but it wasn’t a fortress – it was a work of art. Much like the Crystal Castle… when it wasn’t corrupted by dark magic.   At last we reached the throne room. Two guards flanking the door opened the way for us, and we proceeded inside. Celestia sat on her throne, regal and radiant as I suspected she always was, looking down upon us with a gaze that was severe but not overbearing.   Twilight promptly bowed before her, but bowing was not an instinct for me, and something – perhaps pride – made me hesitate a moment before I followed suit. I recalled that this was one of the ponies who had once bested Sombra himself. This was also the mentor of Twilight Sparkle, and the ruler of a kingdom. All very good reasons to show deference.   If Celestia noticed my hesitation, she made no show of it. Instead she merely said, “Shade.”   I rose to my hooves and looked up at her. “Yes, your majesty?” The words came a little slower than I would have liked.   “While I wish I could simply welcome you to Equestria, the circumstances surrounding your… origin means that I have to set some ground rules in place.”   I wouldn’t expect any less. “Name them.”   “For starters, despite you being, for lack of a better term, Sombra’s heir, the Crystal Empire is not yours to rule. That responsibility falls to Princess Cadence.”   “Why her?” Something inside me flared up, some sense of being wronged. I fought it down – I had little attachment to the Crystal Empire more than any other place, and I would be unwelcome there besides. But I’d already spoken.   “Princess Cadence is the distant living heir to the Crystal Empire, and as a result has the ability to channel the power of the Crystal Heart. More than that, she is also recognized by the crystal ponies as the Crystal Princess.”   “Sounds reasonable.” I was dimly aware of Twilight Sparkle looking slightly aghast at how I spoke to Celestia – like to an equal, not to a social superior. I suppose it was some subconscious remnant of Sombra’s time as king. “What else?”   “Twilight Sparkle trusts you completely, and as a result so do I, but other ponies may not feel the same way. Until you have earned their trust, you will stay with Twilight Sparkle, both for your protection and others.”   “Understood and agreed.” I was actually glad at this, being officially assigned to stay with Twilight.   “Finally, it is important that you learn the values which Sombra lacked. To that end, you will be studying the magic of friendship with Twilight, and will report your findings to me along with her and her friends.”   I thought for a moment at this. “The magic of friendship… can it really hold such power?” I said, more to myself than anypony else. “I suppose it must, or else Twilight would not have come this far. I accept.”   Celestia regarded me solemnly with her gaze. “Understand that the purpose of friendship, while a form of strength, is not power in and of itself. Keep that in mind.”   “Of course. Anything else?” “No. You are free to go with Twilight and her friends.”   “Thank you, your majesty.” I bowed once more, deciding it was best to make up for any lost respect.   “You may go. Oh,” She smiled, a wonderfully warm smile. “Welcome to Equestria.”   “Glad to be here, Princess.” I smiled, my genuine delight keeping me from spitting the title. Another instinctive reaction that I was thankfully able to control. I turned to Twilight. “Time to meet your friends.”   “Of course. Celestia’s staff has prepared a breakfast for us, so they’re probably waiting for us in the dining hall.”     …     After going through several majestic hallways, we entered into a long room with a nearly-as-long table in the center, with a great variety of dishes upon it. Awaiting us, already seated, were Twilight’s five friends and her dragon assistant, falling silent from their previous conversations as we entered the room. I noted the fact that they still had their Elements equipped, and noted also that they weren’t exactly greeting me with smiles.   “Hello, girls,” Twilight said jovially. “This is Shade.”   I observed each of them. Rainbow Dash and Spike were giving me death glares. Applejack’s gaze was less severe but still wary, and held much more scrutiny. Fluttershy looked more afraid than anything else. Rarity appeared to be staring at my mane. And Pinkie Pie had her head tilted to the side, staring off into the distance as though pondering something.   I felt something that was unfamiliar to me: self-consciousness. I wasn’t quite nervous, of course, just very aware of being outnumbered six-to-one by ponies (and a dragon) who had multiple reasons to hold a grudge against Sombra – and me.   I tried to give a reassuring smile. “No need to introduce yourselves, I already know you all, in a way.”   Twilight gave what I assumed was an attempt at a laugh. “Oh yeah, that’s right!” I assumed it was an attempt to break the ice, so to speak. Despite this, the ice remained as cold as the Frozen North. Perhaps sensing this, she found herself a seat at the head of the table.   I followed and sat beside her. Spike was sitting opposite me, and I could tell he was not happy. I could sense each of their gazes on me as I stared at the table and the various dishes upon it. I assumed this was a feast fit for a king, though for a first meal I didn’t feel particularly picky. I didn’t recognize anything in particular, not even the simple meals Twilight seemed to prefer. I levitated something flowery over to my plate and took a bite out of it. The taste wasn’t enough to distract me from the silence.   I was completely uncertain what to do other than eat. I didn’t know what to say that might ease the tension I felt. At last I decided to resolve things the only way I could think of – bluntly.   “You know,” I began, “If you have a problem with me being here, just say it… please.” For some reason I nearly stumbled over the word “please.”   Everypony stopped eating, or pretending to eat, and the ones who weren’t already staring at me were doing so now. After a moment Applejack swallowed her food and said, “It’s not that, Shade-“   “Yes it is.” Rainbow Dash interjected.   Applejack glared at her tactless friend and continued. “-It’s just… well, trust isn’t just something that comes instantly.”   Twilight started to say, “Applejack…”   “Sorry, Twi, I know you trust him and all, but the rest of us are gonna need a little time.”   “It’s more than that,” I ventured, “You see Sombra when you look at me, don’t you?”   Yet another silence reigned, at least for the moment that I allowed it. “Well, as far as I’m concerned the resemblance is skin-deep. I have none of his memories, and I’ve made it clear with Celestia that I have none of his goals. All I want is a chance at a life of my own.”   A small sound came from Fluttershy’s direction, that in any less tense of a social situation wouldn’t have been recognized as speech. “I’d… be willing to give you a chance.”   A moment passed, and then I smiled at her. The smile was picked up by Pinkie Pie, who joined in with “Me too! As soon as we get back to Ponyville I’m going to throw a super-duper welcoming party!”   Rarity smiled as well. “And I’d love to personally give you a bit of a makeover so you’ll look less like Sombra!”   The corners of Applejack’s mouth twitched. “Well, that’s a start. I know so long as you keep your word, you’ll win everypony’s trust in no time.”   I turned to the last pony in the group. “What about you, Rainbow Dash?”   She was still staring daggers into me, a frown on her face.   “Please?” Twilight said.   The frown slowly faded. “All right, but I’ve got my eye on you.”   I chuckled. “Fair enough.”   Perhaps it was the fact that my laugh didn’t sound like the evil laughter they’d heard from Sombra, but I could tell that Rainbow Dash relaxed slightly. Spike still looked apprehensive, but he returned to eating… gems? Yes, gems. I thought it a waste of jewels, but he was a dragon, what could I say? Though we continued to eat in silence, somehow it was though a weight was lifted from the room.