//------------------------------// // Horse's Necks and Blazing Saddles // Story: CUTIE MARK CRUSADER SLEEPOVER AT OCTAVIA'S! YAY! // by Wise Cracker //------------------------------// The Cutie Mark Crusaders sat on the couch while Octavia loaded the DVD. “Now then, I intend to get a drink for during the movie. Do you girls want anything?” The girls exchanged a glance with each other and shrugged. Apple Bloom spoke up first. “Fruit juice, you mean?” Octavia went to a cupboard with a lock on it. She fetched a key from under her bow tie and opened the thing up. “I was thinking more along the lines of alcohol, darlings. Nothing too strong, obviously.” She stuck her head into the cupboard, sniffing about for the right bottle. Sweetie Belle called for a huddle, lowering her voice to a whisper. “What do we do? We can’t drink alcohol, look at what happened last time.” Scootaloo winced. “I know. But we have to get Octavia to like us, and I’m pretty sure drinking with her will do that.” Apple Bloom nodded. “Besides, she might get drunk enough to believe we didn’t even break that thing.” Octavia pulled her head out of the drinks cupboard. “Anyone up for limon-cello, per chance?” “No!” Sweetie Belle shouted. Octavia stared at the girl for a moment, taken aback by the sudden reaction. “I suppose not, that’s far too strong for little fillies like you. You’d be seeing pink elephants all night. Do you girls like ginger ale?” Apple Bloom’s head bobbed up and down enthusiastically. “Love it.” Octavia took out a bottle of brandy and went to the kitchen. She poured them four glasses of ginger ale, mixed in a bit of the brandy, then cut a lemon to put a slice of its peel over the glass. She topped everything off with some ice cubes and stirred, before bringing it back to the living room. “Now, girls, this is an alcoholic cocktail. I’ve made it a lot weaker than your average drink, but you should get enough of a taste of it to understand what alcohol does.” Octavia put the tray of drinks on the table before them, but she didn’t give them the glasses just yet. Apple Bloom looked apprehensive at the drinks. “Are you absolutely sure this is all right? I mean, we did go to the hospital last time.” Octavia sighed. “Yes, and if somepony had explained to you what alcohol is and what it does, I’m sure that accident could have been avoided altogether. You know what they say, darling: when you fall off your saddle, you have to get back on as soon as possible.” Apple Bloom grimaced. “Well, yeah, but what about when we fall off the wagon?” Octavia smiled at the girls, giving each a glass. “You should learn about this, girls. Scootaloo’s mother gave me permission to give her a small introduction to the matter, and I’m sure your teacher would appreciate me taking this over from her. You just need to learn the rules regarding alcohol, that’s all.” Scootaloo suppressed a groan. I knew it. Octavia sat down on the couch, right in between Apple Bloom on one side and Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo on the other. “First you need to know how to recognise a drink with alcohol in it. You take a slight sip like this, only a little.” Octavia let some of the cocktail slip into her mouth, relishing the taste for a bit before swallowing. “Let it run over your tongue, and you’ll notice it has this odd numbing effect at first. That’s how you can tell. If you ever get that from a drink you think is harmless, it means it’s either the wrong drink or somepony spiked it.” Sweetie Belle frowned. “What does Spike have to do with it?” Octavia rolled her eyes. “No, darling, ‘spiking’ a drink means adding alcohol to it without anyone knowing. It’s done as a prank sometimes, but it can be dangerous. Take a small sip, it won’t hurt. Notice that feeling on your tongue?” The girls all complied, taking a careful sip of the cocktail. Sweetie Belle nodded. “Yeah, it feels weird on my tongue. And it kinda burns in my throat, too.” Octavia nodded. “That’s another way you can tell. Some drinks don’t have that effect because of the alcohol, but because of spices or added ice to it, so you can’t always rely on it. But most of the time it’s sweet drinks like punch that get spiked, so now you know what to watch for.” “Yup, it tastes pretty good.” Apple Bloom nearly threw her head back to drink some more. Octavia extended a hoof to stop her. “The second thing to remember is that alcohol will have a greater effect if you drink it too quickly. Drink slow, enjoy it. That glass needs to last a whole movie, mind you. It also helps if you’ve eaten before you drink.” “And then we won’t get sick from drinking it?” Scootaloo grabbed the remote and handed it to Octavia. “Not normally, no. Alcohol just… loosens you up a bit, under normal circumstances. You start doing things you might be afraid to otherwise, your voice is slurred because of a numb tongue, your extremities can go numb, as you noticed, and you can get a headache the next day, that’s called a hangover. Alcohol is a painkiller of sorts, but it can hurt the next day. Technically, your body treats it like it’s poison, but it doesn’t do any real damage in small doses.” Apple Bloom settled in the couch and took another small sip, before setting her glass back on the tray. “But if it’s poison, why do ponies drink alcohol? Or even make it?” Octavia set her glass down and held up the remote. “Well, darling, aside from the good taste, that’s because a small bit of alcohol can help you relax. What you got was mostly because of an overdose, but in moderation it has quite some good uses. When used sparingly, it can be a way to put aside your troubles for a moment, recharge the proverbial batteries. Certain medicines are nothing more than alcohol mixed with herbs, for good reason. Of course, you should never confuse true happiness with an alcohol buzz, or think you can only socialise under the influence, that’s the danger of it. In excess, alcohol can and will ruin lives. But smart fillies like you don’t have to worry about that. Now then, shall we begin our feature?” Scootaloo looked over Octavia’s lap to Apple Bloom. “Ready to get your movie critic cutie mark?” “Ready.” Sweetie Belle nodded in agreement. “Ready.” Octavia pressed ‘play’, and suppressed a smirk. One-track mind, girls. Scootaloo yawned. Sweetie Belle yawned after her, followed by Apple Bloom. The glasses were all empty, the movie was done, and Octavia checked the girls’ flanks. “Still no cutie marks, girls. Not too disappointed?” Apple Bloom was slumped on the couch. She sat upright and rubbed her head. “Not really, no. I feel pretty good about it. It doesn’t even worry me anymore.” Octavia smiled knowingly. “That’s what alcohol will do, darling. Be careful not to get too used to it, though, this isn’t a feeling you want all the time.” Sweetie Belle nodded in agreement. “I know. It’s like everything’s just a little quieter now. I feel kinda… peppy. Like I could sing.” “Please don’t sing, Sweetie Belle. Now’s not the time.” Scootaloo grimaced. “You don’t like my voice?” The unicorn filly pouted. Scootaloo threw her hooves up in annoyance. “Sure I do, but you should sing when there’s ponies around to listen, not shout to yourself. You’ve got a great voice, but you keep wasting it on stuff that doesn’t matter.” Sweetie Belle blinked as that set in. Octavia patted her on the head. “That’s another thing you should know: alcohol can make you say things you normally keep to yourself. It makes it harder to come up with lies. Come to think of it… Apple Bloom, do you know where your sister’s name comes from?” Apple Bloom cocked an eyebrow. “Applejack? Not really, no.” “It’s an alcoholic drink, based on cider. Quite a hard cider, too, from what I’m told.” Octavia tilted her head, thinking. Apple Bloom stared ahead as the facts regarding the matter fell into place. “Huh. It’s funny you should mention that. And alcohol makes it so you talk more freely?” “That’s the gist of it, yes.” The mare nodded. Apple Bloom scratched the back of her head. “Guess that explains how she got made the Element of Honesty.” Octavia had to do her best not to collapse on the floor and laugh her tail off. The Element of Honesty… is named after a drink that loosens the tongue. Drinking applejack makes you honest. Being named ‘Applejack’ apparently makes one the embodiment of honesty. Oh, I must tell that one to the Princesses next time I see them. Octavia looked to the other two girls. “Everything okay, aside from a loose tongue? No dizziness, no upset stomach?” Sweetie Belle shook her head, Scootaloo followed suit. “Nope.” Sweetie Belle turned to pout some more at Scootaloo, though. “You really think I’m wasting my voice?” Scootaloo grunted. “I didn’t mean it like that, Sweetie Belle. I just mean you’re really good at singing, but you never show it off.” “But what if I don’t wanna be a singer?” The little unicorn folded her forelegs in front of her chest, clearly angry about the idea. Octavia shrugged. “Then be a speaker. There’s plenty of uses for somepony with a voice that’s worth hearing. Our mayor has to raise her voice all the time, even Rainbow Dash has to marshal her patrols sometimes. But just because you don’t feel like doing one thing with your voice doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do anything with it.” Sweetie Belle smiled. “Thanks.” Octavia smiled right back. Then Sweetie Belle grimaced and tensed up all over. Octavia suppressed a chuckle. “And that would be the final thing alcohol does: it makes your need for a restroom far more dire. The bathroom is just past the stairs, darling.” Sweetie Belle jumped over the couch and dashed over to the bathroom, nearly tipping the table that stood next to the stairs. Scootaloo gasped, then caught her breath. Wait a second, wasn’t there a vase there this morning? Octavia snapped the girl out of her reverie. “So, girls, what movie is next on the list?” Scootaloo bit her lip. “Umm, we didn’t really pick a second movie. We kinda got caught up and forgot.” Octavia smiled and got up. “Ah, I understand. Never fear, I shall fetch us something appropriate from Vinyl’s room.” Apple Bloom waited for Sweetie Belle to come out of the bathroom, then headed for a sanitation stop herself. Scootaloo sat back and waited her turn. “You know, Octavia’s right. This alcohol stuff is pretty relaxing. I wouldn’t want it all the time, but it’s pretty good. I feel warm all over, and relaxed. I can’t even remember what we were worried about.” Sweetie Belle frowned. “Really? You forgot we broke Octavia’s cello?” As Apple Bloom exited, Scootaloo dashed towards the bathroom. She came out mere seconds later. “Don’t scare me like that, Sweetie Belle.” Apple Bloom shrugged. “At least Tavi’s getting’ all chummy with us. She won’t get mad at us now, I’m sure.” As if on cue, Octavia’s voice came from up the stairs. “Girls? Would you mind coming up and explaining to me how this happened?” Scootaloo’s ears drooped, her tail twitched to cover her flank and her head suddenly felt the need to inspect the rug from very close by. She sighed. “You just had to say it, didn’t you?”