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// 17: Pinkie Ships It [Comedy] [Romance] 
// Story: Thirty Days, Thirty Twilights 
// by Esle Ynopemos 
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((Prompt: Pinkie Pie becomes a pirate. Who is her first mate, and whom do they plunder?))

Twilight Sparkle had a word for days when one or more of her friends found a way to destroy one of the library's walls in a spectacular crash of splintering wood and scattering books. She called those days 'Thursdays.'

Still, Pinkie Pie outdid herself on this particular occasion. A terrific noise filled the hollowed-out tree as the ornately carved prow of a boat burst through the wall, emptying the contents of the 'C' shelf onto the floor. Leaves and shards of wood rained down on Twilight as the front portion of a schooner appeared where her fiction section ought to have been.

A shrill whistle sounded from somewhere above in the canopy of sails and broken branches. “Ahoy! Tree ho!” called the unmistakable voice of Pinkie Pie, recognizable even through her newly-acquired seafaring drawl.

Two ropes snaked down the side of the boat, landing on the ground at Twilight's hooves. Down one of the ropes slid Pinkie. She had a weather-beaten old sailor's jacket slung over one shoulder, a rubber sword tucked into a belt at her side, a hat made of folded newspaper and an eyepatch over her left eye. “Whee!” she squealed as she rappelled down to the floor.

Twilight craned her neck, still trying to come to terms with the fact that there was a boat in her library. “Pinkie, what—”

“Just a minute, lass,” Pinkie said, holding up a hoof. She stepped over to the second rope and peered up. “Arr you comin' down, me matey?” she called.

A soft, quiet voice from above answered. “N-no thanks. Why don't you just go ahead and plunder without me? I'll just be up here, um, tending the crow's nest.”

Pinkie gave the rope a sudden tug. With a squeak, Fluttershy fell from the deck of the ship, landing on a soft cushion that Twilight didn't dare guess when Pinkie had produced, nor from where. Fluttershy's tri-corner hat cocked loosely over the side of her head, and she wore a pair of billowy white striped pantaloons.

Pinkie gave her a hearty pat on the back. “The crow's nest is fine! I'm sure that when the crows get back they'll be really impressed by how good a job you did with it!”

Twilight finally found her voice at this point. “Pinkie, what—how did you—why is Fluttershy—” She stopped and took a deep breath. “Pinkie, where in Equestria did you get a ship?”

Pinkie lifted her eyepatch and momentarily dropped her accent. She rapped a hoof against the hull. “I keep her moored under the bridge in case of nautical emergencies.”

Twilight opted not to ponder how her friends had managed to move the boat across the two dozen blocks of dry land between the bridge and her home, angling instead for the more relevant question, “Why is my library suddenly the site of a nautical emergency?”

Pinkie grinned and flipped her eyepatch back down. “Because, landlubber, we're here to pillage your riches!” She slung a hoof around Fluttershy, drawing her up to her hooves. “Me first mate here, she's real keen to plunder your booty!” She gave Twilight a big wink.

Fluttershy went bright pink. “P-Pinkie!” she squeaked.

“It's true,” assured Pinkie. “She wants to swash your buckles. Hoist your mainstay! She means to go aft of the mizzen with you, and swab your p—”

“Pinkie!” Fluttershy cried. Her cheeks were a darker shade of red than Twilight thought possible.

Pinkie cleared her throat. “So, we're gonna take you captive with us. Y'know, if you're not busy with anything.”

Twilight's eyes swept across the swath of destruction in her library. She should have been a little angry, perhaps, but 'acts of Pinkie' was one of the first things listed in her insurance coverage. She glanced at Pinkie, who bounced cheerfully in her pirate garb. She then looked at the blushing ball of yellow feathers. “Fluttershy?” she said, taking a small step forward. “Is Pinkie saying that you...” Twilight left the question unfinished, not quite sure how to phrase it, other than colorful nautical metaphors.

Fluttershy slowly stood up, clearing her throat. She met Twilight's eyes, and raised a wooden sword in shaking hooves. “Um... avast?” she said, a nervous, sheepish smile crossing her face.

In the face of such savagery, no princess could prevail. The nefarious buccaneers made off with their swooning captive.