//------------------------------// // Nice to meet ya, Mr. and Mrs. Sparkle // Story: Fifty-Three Pickup // by blowngasket //------------------------------// Nice to meet ya, Mr. and Mrs. Sparkle “You seem much more relaxed than you should be.” Perry said, reading a newspaper at the table, not really paying much heed at the man across from him. “Please, I got this in the bag.” Catacomb said, his legs kicked up onto the table as he leaned back in the chair, which balanced quite masterfully on its back legs. “If you say so. I remember my meeting with Fluttershy’s father. It was…memorable to say the least.” Perry chuckled slightly. His temporary roommate started laughing as he recalled the story. “Didn’t Mr. Squall there point a rifle at ya when you introduced yourself as her boyfriend?” Catacomb pushed back off the table, maintaining balance on the back legs before falling forward and resting his legs once again on the table. “Like I said. It was memorable. Just don’t act like an idiot, get all clingy with Twily in their presence, and definitely avoid hitting on her mother.” Perry stared at Catacomb, putting the paper down as a means to get his point across. “Geez, why don’t you just tell me to pretend to be someone else while you’re at it?” Catacomb complained, pushing off the table once again. A quick wave of the hand from Perry reduced the gravity around his legs, causing him to push himself up faster than he anticipated. Flailing around to try and regain balance, his efforts were for nothing as the chair fell backwards. “You’re…an…ass…” Catacomb said, groaning from the impact. “I know this may not be all that important to you, but the first impression you give will be the lasting impression. Even if you don’t want to, Twilight deserves better than that. Don’t embarrass her, please.” Perry asked politely. Catacomb sighed in defeat. “I refuse to act like a prissy stiff, but I understand.” Catacomb got back up, placing the chair back where it belonged. “I’m not asking for much more than that. Besides Night Light and Twilight Velvet are good people. They might be a bit strict when it comes to their daughter, but they do mean well. Just remember that.” Perry got up and poured a cup of coffee. “Cream and five sugars, right?” “Good man!” Catacomb said, giving Perry a thumbs up. “You ever spend time with them?” “Not really. Just when they visited the castle on occasion. I don’t know how much they know, but figuring Shining and Cadance are coming along as well, it will surely be interesting…which reminds me. Avoid hitting on Cadance as well.” Perry said, sliding over the cup of coffee with a heart on it. “Yee of little faith.” Catacomb said, grinning. He picked up the cup and drank it down in one gulp. “I am a good boy.” “Cute. Well then, Mr. Good Boy, go and get yourself ready. Twilight is probably freaking out, and will most likely need a hand.” Perry said, placing a few ice cubes and a straw into his coffee. “What about you?” Catacomb asked, placing the cup in the sink. “I have fifty bits on you screwing up, so if I interfere, Rainbow would kill me for sure.” Perry said, giggling oddly. “Good to know where your loyalties lie. Well then, say goodbye to your cash.” Catacomb said, walking out the door confidently. Perry chuckled wickedly, his plans in motion, and Catacomb wouldn’t know a thing. ---------- ---------- ---------- Stand still. Yeah, that is a good idea. I think I will do that. Catacomb watched Twilight run around in a panicked frenzy, trying to make sure everything was perfect. She had gotten that letter a week back, and spent much of that time trying to make everything perfect. Judging by Spike’s look, who seemed to be content with copying him at this point, this was fairly normal Twilight behavior. Catacomb’s eyes widened when he was suddenly lifted off the ground and chucked into a closet. He didn’t know what hurt more, the impact or being considered part of the environment. He waited patiently in the closet, counting down the seconds on his fingers. Five Four Three Two One “Oh my gosh! I am so sorry, Cata!” Twilight said, opening the closet quickly to let him out. Catacomb wobbled out, still slightly disoriented from the attack. “It’s fine, though please refrain from doing that in the near future. I think we will both benefit from my lack of brain damage.” Catacomb said, smiling stupidly. Twilight, for the first time all day, had smiled as well. He hugged her, looking over her shoulder to witness Spike making a gagging motion at him. Catacomb casually flipped him off, Spike dismissing it and walking towards the door. “I should be heading out, now.” Spike said as the couple broke off the hug, Twilight obviously feeling more relaxed than before. “Go ahead, Spike. Just try and come on back by dinner time, alright?” Spike nodded and walked out the door, getting a subtle wave from Catacomb before leaving. He turned towards Twilight, who was still a few inches away from him. She smiled, blushing slightly. “Thank you for agreeing to do this. Just promise me you won’t do something I’ll regret.” Twilight asked. Catacomb chuckled and smirked, patting her on the head. “I can guarantee nothing, but I will try my best to at least not do something I consider fun.” Catacomb replied happily. “I can’t ask for more than that, I suppose.” Twilight rolled her eyes, knowing it was just the way he was. “So, what’s the plan, then?” Catacomb asked, staring out the window. “Simple family night. Think you can manage?” Twilight asked, more serious and less joking. “Probably.” Catacomb said, shrugging. “That’s good. They should be arriving…” A loud knock on the door and a small smile from Twilight essentially finished her sentence. Catacomb watched curiously as she ran to the door, opening it up. “Hi daddy! Hi mommy! Hi Cadance! Shining…” Catacomb forced himself to hold back a snicker. She must still be pissed at him for forgetting to tell her the big news. The group walked inside, Catacomb recognizing Shining and Cadance from the castle. Where Shining was normally dressed in that bulky armor, today he seemed to be more causal, a blue dress shirt that was a few shades paler than his hair, and beige dress pants. His wife, Cadance, was as beautiful as always. She was wearing bright pink and purple sun dress, easily matching her long hair, minus the lone streak of white. Her light fuchsia wings casually folded against her back, not being necessary at this point in time. He grinned noticing the very slight bulge on her stomach. His gaze then shifted towards the real reason why he had to behave today. Twilight’s mother and father. Night Light, as Perry had called him, wore something similar to Shining, with the exception of his shirt being a darker blue, matching his short yet well-kept hair perfectly. Twilight Velvet…just damn. She had it going on for an older woman. Catacomb could see where Twilight got her subtle beauty from easily now. White pants with a light purple blouse. Her hair similar to his Twilight’s, though he wasn’t sure if it was a light purple with white streaks, or white with light purple streaks. Either way, she was the walking definition of a sexy older woman. Now Catacomb understood why he would have to try and not hit on her mom. Everyone happily greeted Twilight, Catacomb purposely waiting in the background politely to try and not do something regrettable. Eventually, Twilight led the four of them over to him, starting to smile nervously. “Mom, Dad, this is Catacomb. He is sort of…” “Your boyfriend, correct?” Night Light said, eyeing Catacomb over suspiciously. Catacomb extended his hand slowly, feeling as if his every action was viewed under a microscope. “Nice to meet ya, Mr. Night Light.” Catacomb greeted him cautiously. Night took his hand and shook it, trying his best to give him a smile of his own. “I have heard quite a bit about you from Shining here.” Night said, releasing Catacomb’s grip. Catacomb glanced at Shining, who nodded slowly. Catacomb turned back towards Night, and Velvet who now approached him as well. “I want to say he told you pretty much everything, then?” Catacomb asked, his eyeballs darting everywhere to try and confirm the best possible escape route in the case of angry in laws. “Indeed he has.” Velvet remarked, causing Catacomb heart to beat quicker than normal. “Shining!” Twilight yelled out, glaring at her brother. “That wasn’t very nice.” “Now dear, it is quite alright.” Velvet said, smiling at her daughter. Twilight looked back at her father, who nodded as well. “Now Catacomb, as long as my daughter is happy, it doesn’t matter who she dates. Let’s get to know each other today, sound good?” Night Light smiled, Catacomb not sure if he should be nervous or just accept the way things are going. ---------- ---------- ---------- “Are you sure it is safe for him to be doing this?” Twilight Velvet asked her daughter as they casually sat on the couch, Cadance relaxing next to them as well. “Would you rather have Twilight make dinner?” Cadance asked. Both her and Velvet started chuckling, Twilight feeling slightly insulted. “I have gotten better since that last fire.” Twilight rebuked, more proud than she should have been. “That is great and all, but what about him?” Velvet asked. “Can umm…you know…can they even cook?” Twilight knew her mother didn’t mean for it to sound rude, but it still upset her slightly. “Yes, he can cook.” Twilight said, obviously annoyed by the remark. She huffed, turning her head for a moment before taking in a deep breath. “Sorry, I know it probably isn’t easy for either of you.” “Honestly, Cata doesn’t bother me.” Cadance said. Both Twilight and her mother turned to look at her. “I have known him for a few years now. It would be wrong of me to put him in the same group as the changelings who ruined my wedding. My only problem with him right now is for giving my Shiny so much trouble.” Cadance chuckled. “He does seem nice enough, though a bit jittery.” Velvet noted. “He is just nervous, mom.” Twilight said. “He’s odd, but really nice once you get to know him.” “I believe you, dear. I am surprised he was able to convince Shining, though.” Velvet watched as Twilight started to smile nervously. She figured that Shining left the part out where he and Cata brutally beat each other to near death. She could only hope for a less destructive outcome this time around. ---------- ---------- ---------- “So, Catacomb? You work in the same group that Shining does, correct?” Night asked, sitting at the kitchen table. Across from him was Shining Armor, taking a back seat in the conversation. Catacomb was flipping a vegetable stir fry around in a pan, adding in pre sliced vegetables to the sizzling skillet. “Yup.” Catacomb answered simply, taking a few seconds to check the rice. “And when did you first meet Twilight?” Night continued to question. “Hmm…a little over a month ago? That sound about right, Shiny?” Catacomb asked, turning his view to the quiet man. He took a few seconds to do some thinking, before nodding. “Didn’t really get a chance to talk much, then. Went on vacation recently, following suit of another friend, and got to know her. Kinda an odd beginning, but now I am glad to have met her.” “Now I know you are a changeling, and as hard as that is, I am willing to look past that.” Night said, his tone gaining a rigid strictness one would expect. “But as a man, what can I expect from you?” Catacomb remained quiet, checking everything he was working on, and giving the skillet a quick shake. Night waited patiently for the answer to his question. When Catacomb was satisfied with the food, he turned around and looked at him, his gaze strong and stoic. “I honestly don’t know how to answer that one.” Catacomb gave his answer, complete seriousness in his eyes. “I have always been more of an actions than words kind of guy.” “I appreciate your honesty, Catacomb.” Night Light said, taking a deep breath. “I see what you mean, now.” He spoke to Shining, who nodded. Catacomb looked over at him, and then back to Night Light. “I’ll bite. What did ya say, Shiny?” Catacomb asked curiously. “I just told him that you two seemed well paired. Twilight tends to overthink things, and you don’t think at all. Perfect harmony.” Shining said, smiling. “I am not sure if I should thank you or see how good my aim with a knife is.” Catacomb said, grinning while holding a cleaver. Shining gulped, slowly ducking under the table. Night watched the two, laughing lightly at the antic. He wouldn’t admit it, but Catacomb was just the kind of guy he had hoped Twilight would find. If he had to deal with any more prim and proper family members, he would have lost it. “Dinner is ready!” Catacomb yelled out, gathering everyone inside the kitchen. Twilight waited until the end to walk in, just in case. “I am genuinely surprised.” Twilight’s mom said as she walked towards the stove, Catacomb moving everything into serving bowls. “You…made this?” “Yeah. I figured something too fancy would be like me trying to brag, so I figured a nice stir fry with a side of rice would be fine. I wanted to serve it alongside a nice red wine as well, but I didn’t want Cadance to feel left out so I hope grape juice will be alright.” Catacomb brought the bowls over to the table and grabbed enough glasses for everyone. Just in time, the door opened as Spike made his way inside. “Sorry if I am late. Did dad kill Cata yet?” ---------- ---------- ---------- “Hey Rainbow?” “Yes…Perry…” “I believe you owe me fifty bits.” Perry and another woman standing next to him were watching the family happily eating dinner, telling stories and overall enjoy each other, from the outside kitchen window. The woman was sporting a subtle sky blue tank top and shorts, colored to match her wings. Her most noticeable feature was her prismatic colored hair which periodically rose debates about whether it was natural. She glared at him, handing over the money with a frown. “I bet you paid him off to be good.” Rainbow muttered, glaring at him. He chuckled slightly and shook his head. “Oh silly Rainbow Dash, I simply told him that my money was against him, not for him.” Perry said while counting his dirty money. “Besides, you can’t help but feel happy for them.” “I’ll feel happy for them when you go buy me something from Pinkie's place.” Rainbow said, smirking and elbowing him. “Besides, we can try again when they meet Catacomb’s mom.” “Queen Chrysalis having a lunch date with Twilight’s family? I accept that bet, Rainbow!” Perry said happily. The two walked off towards Sugarcube Corner, getting a few good laughs out of Catacomb’s situation. ---------- ---------- ---------- “That was fantastic, Cata.” Twilight Velvet said, relaxing in her seat. “I know, right?” Shining said, nodding in agreement. “Thanks. I am glad ya like it.” Catacomb smiled happily. “You should stick around for a while if you can cook that well. For Twilight’s safety.” Night Light joked. “I have heard the stories.” Catacomb said, chuckling as well. “You don’t even know the half of it.” Night Light said, pulling Catacomb close. “People screaming in terror, everyone running around trying to put out the blaze, and there Twilight was staring so innocently at me and her mother.” Twilight’s glares at the two went unnoticed, as well as the beginning to a magical incantation. Shining signaled for everyone else to walk into the living room. They did so quickly. “What happened?” Catacomb asked. “Was everyone fine?” “No one was hurt, thankfully. But Twilight, as she was looking at us, with the look that would make you feel warm and fuzzy, said to us ‘I don’t know what went wrong?” Both Night Light and Catacomb burst out laughing. The laughter didn’t last long, though. Twilight quickly and violently interrupted them. “LIGHTNING!” She yelled out, a storm cloud forming over the two and angrily zapping them into silence. They both toppled over, landing on the floor with a thud. Twilight crossed her arms and walked over them, back into the main room. Catacomb and Night Light laid on the ground, both twitching from the attack. They slowly turned to look at each other, both raising a slight smile. “Worth it…”