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// 16: Iron Will's Day Off [Comedy] [Slice of Life] 
// Story: Thirty Days, Thirty Twilights 
// by Esle Ynopemos 
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((Prompt: Iron Will's day off.))

While Twilight had not been directly involved in the incident with Fluttershy's assertiveness seminars, she had heard enough about it secondhand from her friends to get a rough description of the minotaur whose teachings had briefly turned the timid yellow mare into a violent rage-aholic.  He wasn't that hard to spot; Ponyville never had very many towering, muscular, half-bovine, half-hominid, blue monsters with a tie and a buzz-cut.

The baseball cap and sunglasses hiding his face did very little to disguise his identity as he stood in the doorway to the library.

Twilight raised her eyebrows. “Can I help you?”

The minotaur jammed a thumb at his chest. “Iron Wil—uh, I mean...” He glanced up and down the street. “I mean, Iron Withers is here to do some reading. Are you gonna let him into your library?”

Twilight frowned. In her experience, anyone who referred to themselves in the third person was trouble. Paper-thin disguises and aliases were another strike against him, and a bit of loyalty to her friend tempted her to shut the door on him. However, it was a public library, and she couldn't very well turn him away. She shrugged and stepped aside. “What books are you looking for?”

“I was actually hoping to get a recommendation,” he said, marching in the door. He stopped, fists planted on his hips as he surveyed the bookshelves. “Iron Withers is all about relaxing. Give him a good book so that he can unwind, take a load off and chill out.”

With a wave of her horn, Twilight opened a few skylights, letting more light into the library. “Well, there are a few books on meditation and stress-relief in the self-help section,” she said, nodding toward a shelf on the far wall. “There's also some good escapist fantasies in the fiction aisle.”

“Good,” he said, nodding. “I'll take all of them.”

Twilight shook her head. “You can only check out one at a time. And I'll need to see your library card, Mr. Will.”

The minotaur backed up, waving his arms. “I think you have me confused for someone else. I am Iron With—hey!” He reached up above his head as Twilight magically lifted his baseball cap and sunglasses off. His shoulders sagged as he realized his ruse was broken. “Fine. You caught me. I'm Iron Will. The great assertiveness master needs help relaxing. You can start laughing now.” He sank to the floor, a pout forming on his lips.

Twilight cocked her head to the side, peering at the hat and glasses. “I don't get it,” she said. “What's with the disguise? It's not like there's anything wrong with wanting to relax.”

“Maybe not for some, but it is for Iron Will,” he complained. “My whole career depends on being the top dog, the alpha, the guy in charge. Do you know how exhausting it is to keep that up all the time?” Iron Will sniffed. “If ponies catch me laying back at all, they'll think I've gone soft! I'll be finished!”

Twilight rubbed her chin. She didn't really think it would be the end of his career if he was spotted lying down in a hammock, but she believed he believed that, at least. “I think I can solve your problem. All the books on relaxation I've ever read all say you need to start with a safe, peaceful place...”

*

Iron Will reclined on a pile of cushions, his head propped up on one arm so that he could read a book from his new favorite series. Headphones pressed over his ears played soft, smooth jazz to which he intermittently hummed along while he turned the page.

Near his door, inaudible to him through his headphones but quite audible to passersby outside, a tape-player turned up to full-volume played out a recording of him grunting and growling, along with heavy impacts and splashing water. On the outside of the locked door, hanging from the handle, was a note that read:



Back in 30 minutes.
Beating up sharks.