FOREWORD BY MIKE TEAVEE
Hey, guys! I honestly wasn't expecting to continue this any further, but Super Big Mac has come out with an all-new recursive fanfic for your viewing pleasure, and I'm happy to host it here on Steakeos! Contains spoilers up to Chapter 19 of Divided Rainbow.
Enjoy!
Discord sipped from a coffee mug, enjoying the taste of chocolate icing (literally) dancing along his tongue. "So, my dear Celestia, how do you like my ideas so far?" Celestia takes a long quaff of her own steaming mug of sweet vanilla cake with strawberry filling.
"I must admit that, while quite a ways away from my usual modus operandi when... meddling with the affairs of my student, the work you have done has been much more effective than anything I could have cooked up."
Discord allowed himself a small fanfare (No, having the Wonderbolts do a fly-over backed by Yellow Submarine did not count as over-doing it), and a manic grin. "Oh my dear Princess, you know as well as I do that even I want to see this fixed! Oh, my poor friends... I can't stand to watch Fluttershy self-destruct like this!" Discord then pulled out a pair of plastic red binoculars and pulled a lever on the side. After gazing through them towards the far wall, he sighed and flicked them over towards Celestia, deftly plucking them back out of the air with an arm that had replaced Celestia's horn before positioning them in front of Celestia's eyes.
The Solar Princess' cheeks flushed as she realized she was staring right into the barrack's shower area, before the binoculars were moved slightly towards the left and the view zoomed past even the edge of Canterlot. "Can you see them, Celly?" Discord asked with an affected moan. "My poor, sweet Fluttershy and the newly lovestruck Rainbow Dash are still trapped in the wrong states of mind! Oh, how I wish I could help, but I know how you want that Sparklebutt of yours to figure it out herself! Oh, but she's got Lero to help her, as well."
Discord's smile returned, his fang giggling ticklishly as he picked at it with a talon. "For a creature even less accustomed to the Harmony of this world than I, he's already figured out some good tactics to use against the spell. Humans," he stated, taking a swig of devil's food cake, "are one of the few creatures who are chaotic enough, at times, to be boring for me. But one human in Equestria? Particularly THIS one? Oh, this has been fun and interesting to watch. While he has none of my power, he still manages to create chaos and sow seeds of discord and creation, invention and destruction-- I cannot wait to see what those three Crusader fillies end up doing with themselves after having a human's brain to pick at!"
Celestia continued watching Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash, the former reading furiously from a book of puns and jokes (written by Miss Gnomer), and using a rubber chicken as a punching bag, some music playing in the background, while Dash was lounging in a trailing robe, a white bunny using a large leaf to fan her while a bluejay bobbed up and down in the air above her, a cluster of grapes held within easy reach of the pegasus' mouth.
"It seems that the Elements are taking to their new roles more readily than I would have ever anticipated," the princess mused in amazement as the view switched to one of Applejack and Pinkie Pie, the pseudo-farmer trotting through a field of growing corn, a small filly pointing ahead as the two laughed happily, while the failing fashionista was busy welding some cheese to a wedding train made of toasted breadcrumbs. The view changed once more to show Twilight, Rarity, and Lyra and ate salads and chatting away with Herds Noctis and Resonare, while Spike sat in a room a short ways away, simply waiting for Lero to return from his carnivorous excursion.
Celestia smiled sadly to see how -- though she put on quite the mask -- Twilight was barely paying attention to her tablemates, instead focusing on a point somewhere only she could see. "Despite all that Lero may have accomplished, my student seems just as lost as ever."
"Oh, I wouldn't call her lost, my dear sunbutt, she's simply waiting for the GM to get back to the table!"
"Whatever do you mean, Discord? And please do not call me 'sunbutt.'"
"Of course, miss Solar Thighs, but what I meant is that you have obviously charted where this ride will go. Of course, you've done your best to work the two biggest variables into your scheme as well--myself and our human friend--but not even you can account for everything!" Discord twists around himself, before folding out like a lawn chair, now in the form of a unicorn, his eyes the only feature still the same. "With just a slight rearrangement, Discord becomes Scoddri, and then..." pulling out a wand, the chaotic creature pointed it towards the heavens. "Sun blossom power! Make-up!" With a flash and a twirl, the ponified draconequis settled to the floor once more, striking a pose in a blue cape and mage hat, both bedecked with bells. The wand had grown into a long, knotted staff, his cheeky smile barely hidden by a frizzled, white beard. "Behold, I am Starswirl reborn! A thousand years ago I and my comrades sacrificed our lives for Queen Complacency when she was almost brought low, along with the rest of the Moon Kingdom!"
Celestia's eye twitched, her mouth trembling as Discord's lips continued moving, even though he had stopped speaking. "And what will you do, my little hero, that could put a crack in my cartwheel?"
'Starswirl' grinned again, striking another pose. "Why, I'll take it upon myself to tell young Twilight the answer to my failings all those years ago, for I am the Sailor Senshi, Starswirl!" His words continued on, even though his mouth had come to a stop. "I am only one of a group of studly Mystical Colts, but as the indisputed leader, I'm obviously the best!"
Celestia let out a small chuckle. “I do not understand why you chose to be so... evil, all those decades ago, Discord. Why scare ponies and the other peoples of the world out of their minds when you could pull stunts like this for a laugh that can be shared?”
Discord put on an affected pout, before pulling it off, wiping some grime from the mask, and tossing it onto the table. “It’s maddening, being the first and last of my kind, dear Celestia, but even a creature as lowly as I needed a friendly smile before I could truly see the err of my ways! Why, to be completely honest, other than Fluttershy and Lero, on those few times he hasn’t tried stabbing me with bottles, I’ve never had somepony truly appreciate my presence! Sure, Pinkie enjoyed my pranks, and my chocolate milk rain, but those were mainly one-offs, jokes that are funny the first time or two, but not nearly as much as time wears on. I’ve never met a pair of creatures who could weather my mind-alterings like Fluttershy and Lero, and each in their own ways! The pegasus who feels safe in her own shortcomings, and the human who simply goes with the flow and adapts whenever something changes! Truly as remarkable a pair of friends as any one immortal could have!”
“You know...” Discord slowly fades out of the Starswirl costume and turns back into his regular self. “It’s a funny thing, death. Well, no, not funny in the way I like funny, but more curious, I guess. Death is boring. Death is an end to all the fun you could ever want. It’s so... drastically orderly and dull and I have to say that were I to have the power over life and death, I’d simply stop the clock for any who could call me friend. It’d be much easier than having to live with myself again.” Discord hics as he brings his mug to his mouth once more. “Mmm... rum cake.” He knocked back the rest of his latest mug and shivers slightly. “Yech, now I remember why I don’t drink. I’m too... somber when not sober. Bah, what do you think, my dear? Will Lero help your student through her challenges, or will he end up ruining any chance of success? Or is there, in your grand cosmic role play, a chance that Twilight will succeed without heeding the help or hinderance her herd thrusts upon her?”
Celestia sipped from her own cup, the fruity taste of the fruitcake causing her to frown a bit. “No, I think she can do it, whether or not she takes or receives help. She’s a smart mare, and can run her own life, no matter how I may try to keep her on the “perfect path.”