Chapter 13:
All or Nothing
I asked around and learned that Shmangie was in the stables tending to the feral horses. This wasn’t surprising, as she’d taken an interest in helping out with them over the last week. Not a lot of ponies were keen on having anything to do with them for some reason, though, so it wasn’t shocking when I was told she was the only one in there.
My miniscule hooves barely made any sound on the dirt floor as I trotted between the pens. Apparently I was loud enough, though, because suddenly two dozen full-grown horses turned to stare at me from both sides. Their big dull eyes fixed on my every move, their wide nostrils flared as they took in my scent, making strange nickering sounds at me that made my ears twitch.
There was something strange about that place, something that put me ill at ease. Maybe it was the smell, maybe it was the horses themselves, but I didn’t like it, whatever it was. I doubled my pace and made a beeline for Shmangie, who was at the far end tending to a dark brown mare with a braided mane.
“Hey, kiddo!” She was using a large horse brush to get the snarls out of the mare’s coat. “Haven’t seen you in here before. Sara, this is Shmage. Shmage, this is Sara.”
I craned my head up to look at the feral mare. She was freaking enormous—I doubted I even came up to her knees. She leaned her head over the stall door to sniff me, her soft exhales making my hair stand on end.
“Charmed,” I said with a shudder. “Hey, I’ve got news. Got a minute?”
“Sure.” Shmangie set down the brush and turned to me. “What’s up?”
“Er…” I shifted back and forth on my hooves. “Can we go somewhere else, please? This place gives me the creeps.”
Shmangie looked at me with a thoughtful frown. “You too, huh? You know, it seems like none of the ponies like being in this building. Not even Jack spends much time in here if she can help it.”
“And I might be more curious about that if she wasn’t leaving tonight with Dash, Twilight, Fluttershy, Pinkie, and Rarity to go inspect a possible portal to Equestria,” I said with no small amount of deadpan. “But seeing as she is, I think that takes precedence.”
Shmangie blinked several times. Her face assumed a myriad of expressions, her mouth opening and closing as she processed that news. Finally, she turned and started heading for the backdoor.
“C’mon. We’ll be alone out in the pasture.”
***
We went out to the middle of the grassy field behind the stables. It was a beautiful evening—the air was warm, the sky was clear, and a soft, cool breeze teased at my curly mane. In the coming months it would become disgustingly hot and humid, but for now, it was just right. The particular field we were in was fenced off, so while there were lots of ponies wandering around the edges, we were well out of earshot.
Shmangie led me over to a patch of heather. She then stopped and sat down cross-legged in front of me, her expression shrewd and attentive.
“Okay. Tell me everything.”
I shrugged. “There’s not much to tell. Dash let it slip to Scoots about an hour ago. Apparently the portal’s in the middle of a city north of here. At first Dash was saying that they’re just going to go check it out, but then she let said something about ‘clearing the way.’ Not a lot of ways that can be interpreted.”
Shmangie clucked her tongue. “And none of which I approve of.”
“Preaching to the choir,” I said dryly. “What do you think we should do?”
Shmangie didn’t answer right away. She snapped off a stalk of heather and ran it through her fingers, chewing on her lip all the while. “Stop them, obviously, but the only way to do that is to threaten to tell the police about this place. And seeing as that would probably result in our arrest as well...”
I made a derisive noise. “Yeah, would rather avoid that if we can help it.”
“I suppose we could try talking to them,” Shmangie said halfheartedly. “But we’d need to propose some kind of alternative, and I haven’t thought of anything in the entire time we’ve been here. I’d like something that accomplishes what they’re trying to do, just you know... without the mortal peril, but I’ve got nothing.”
I drug a hoof on the ground. “I think we can all agree that we’re up against a wall, here.”
Shmangie sighed and tossed the heather stalk away. “I don’t know, Shmage. There’s no telling what Discord’s been up to in the last twenty-five years. I’d like to think Dash and the others wouldn’t do something like this if they didn’t think they had a chance, but... I really, really, REALLY don’t think this is smart.”
Her response was pretty much what I’d expected. She sounded as lost as I’d initially felt, and while her attitude wasn’t ideal for what I was about to propose, there wasn’t any time to try and steer the conversation. So with a deep breath, I steeled myself and took a gamble.
“What if they don’t go on their own?” I said. “Discord won last time because of divide and conquer tactics, after all. We might only be able to win if we all stand up to him together.”
Shmangie instantly realized what I was getting at. She crossed her arms and gave me a flat look.
“No.”
“I mean, it’s either that or sitting around here waiting for the food to run out,” I continued. “Do you want to sew pillows, spend your life savings and brush the manes of farm horses while Rarity and the others are risking their lives?”
“I’m not letting you put yourself in harm’s way,” Shmangie said with narrowed eyes. “You’re not going after them. Period.”
I felt my ire rise, but kept it in check. “I’m already in harm’s way, in case you forgot. So are you. And another thing, I love Rarity as much as I love you, and I wouldn’t hesitate if you were the one going off instead of her.”
“You honestly think she’d be any more willing to let you go if our roles were reversed?” Shmangie scoffed. “Please. You have the body of a child and no actual fighting experience. You’re the very definition of cannon fodder.”
“Who said I was going to fight?” I said. “I can help organize things and figure out a plan of attack. I can give advice and help in other ways than being on the front line. I know things about Equestria they don’t, remember? My expertise could be useful.”
“You could just as easily be captured and taken as a hostage,” Shmangie said. “You could become a liability in just as many ways you think you can help. Use whatever rationale or justifications you want, but the simple truth is that going after them is suicide!”
I rolled my eyes. “It’s not sui—”
“THIS ISN’T A FUCKING GAME!” Shmangie suddenly yelled in Spanish. Her teeth bared in a livid snarl as she spoke with lightning speed. “You could be killed, maimed, tortured, disfigured, traumatized or God knows what other atrocity that NO ONE wants to have happen to their own sibling! You expect me to me to be okay with you chasing after those idiots just because you want to play hero?! Not on your fucking life!”
I weathered her rant without batting an eyelash. I coughed to clear a tickle in my throat, then gave my reply in a calm, collected voice. “I never said I was going alone.”
Shmangie slammed her hand on the ground. “Did your friends make any difference before? Did they?! Discord will just pick them off again one by one! He’ll make you watch while he’s doing it! He’ll hurt you in ways you can’t even imagine, and by the time he’s done with you, you'll literally be begging him for death!”
“Not if he’s fending off the attacks of several hundred irate ponies at the same time.”
“You need—” Shmangie stopped dead, her rant knocked off its tracks. “What.”
“The issue here is that you’re thinking too small, dear sister,” I said with a smirk on my lips. “When I said we need to stand up to him together, I meant TOGETHER-together. To Tartarus with ambushes, drawn-out campaigns or trying to take him on one group at a time. Let’s blitzkrieg the bastard.”
Shmangie pursed her lips, her eyes darting back and forth as she mulled that over. It became clear that I’d thrown her off, so I continued with my momentum.
“I couldn’t care less about being a hero, Shman'. That’s not my part to play in all this, and I doubt I'd be happy with it if it was. The only reason I’m doing this is because I want my life back. I don’t know why Rarity and the others are trying to do this alone, but I’m worried that they’re making the same mistake as I've been. I believe that we have a chance to beat this sadistic snake, but a group of six mares, four fillies, and a fitness club manager isn’t gonna cut it.”
“But an army might,” Shmangie muttered faintly.
I nodded grimly. “But an army might, yeah. I don’t want to do this any more than you, but this ball’s already rolling and we’re caught in its path. Letting Discord make the first move cost us the last time, and I want to learn from our mistakes. There’s a chance we could get hurt, yes, and I’ll admit that I’m scared, but as long as we’re together...”
Shmangie was silent. She looked down at her hands, which were covered in dark brown work gloves. She took them off one at a time to examined her clean, uncalloused hands, her red nail polish glinting brightly in the setting sun. She flexed her fingers slowly into fists, then relaxed them. She repeated the motion a few times without so much as a word, her face hidden by her rust-red bangs.
I put a hoof on her knee. “What do you say?”
Shmangie went still. She took a long, slow breath, then adjusted her hair and allowed me to see her face. She was grinning with a steely glint in her eyes.
“This is crazy, but… okay. Let’s muster some troops.”
***
The girls weren’t idle while I was off convincing Shmangie. We met up with them by the van a few minutes later, and I was surprised to discover that they were all looking very pleased with themselves while bouncing back and forth.
“Good news?” I asked.
Scootaloo stopped and turned to me. “You won’t believe this. We totally hit the jackpot!”
"Oh?" I said. "In what way?"
“We found out where the portal is!” Apple Bloom burst out. “It’s where the Equestria Girls movie took place. It’s an hour-and-a-half north of here in a small town on the state border. They’re planning to leave at midnight.”
My heart leapt. “No way! How’d you find out so fast?”
Scootaloo snickered. “It was easy. Babs distracted Twilight while Bloom and I went on her laptop and checked her search history.”
Apple Bloom laughed as well. “Celestia almighty, that mare really needs to change her privacy settings.”
“Distracted her with what?” Shmangie said incredulously. “Twilight’s had her eyes glued to that thing all week! Rarity even told me that she’s tried to bring it to the dinner table!”
Babs turned to me with a guilty grin. “I, uh... hope you won’t be mad, but... I kinda heard from Mac that Twilight has a lot of trouble waking up in the morning, and she doesn’t give anypony so much as the time of day until she’s had at least two cups of coffee. Seeing as that’s not ideal, I offered her something a little more… efficient.”
She reached into her saddlebags and pulled out the torn casing from a familiar box. I could see that the word ‘Flatline’ was still visible on the hastily-ripped plastic.
I paled. “You didn’t.”
Babs’ smirk became downright evil. “I did.”
My jaw fell. “You... you fools! What have you done?!”
"Oh, that ain’t even the worst of it.” Apple Bloom waggled her eyebrows. “We scratched off all the warnin’ labels just to make sure she’d bite.”
Shmangie gasped. “No...”
Scootaloo deviously rubbed her hooves together. “Pandora now has the box. Reunion is now nigh! Discord is nothing but a fly before the monster we’ve created—no, a flea! He will fall before our superior chaos!”
Apple Bloom cackled like a madmare. “The nuclear strike has been launched, but it has yet to be detected!”
“Victory will be ours!” Babs chimed in. She reared up on her hooves and threw back her head in manaical laughter. “Caffeine for the caffeine god! Vengeance for the vengeance throne!”
The three of them high-fived each other and yelled out as one.
“CUTIE MARK CRUSADER GOD-KILLERS! YAY!”
They fell over each other laughing almost to the point of tears. Their faces were flushed as they gasped for breath, playfully wrestling each other all the while. I was about to comment on their crazy behavior, but before I could, Apple Bloom suddenly sat up with a loud yelp and looked to the other two.
“Ohmygosh! But what monster do we create to stop Twilight from destroying us all?”
Babs’ eyes went wide. “You're right! I forgot that absolute power corrupts absolutely! She might even be able to take Discord’s power for her own and become a super-ultra-mega evil Librarian Princess!”
“Uh, girls?” I said.
Legitimate horror crept into Scootaloo’s eyes. “No book will be safe….”
Apple Bloom stared off into the distance. “Books’ll only be the beginning, I’m afraid. Soon she’ll start categorizin' the whole world, and there won’t be anythin’ on Earth or Equestria that'll be able to stop her! We’ll all be placed in gel-filled tubes with hexadecimal numbers on our flanks! We’ll be mind-controlled to think we live in a checklist-filled dreamworld, forced to study nanochemistry and advanced quantum physics for eternity!”
“Not the hard sciences!” Babs wailed.
“I hate hexadecimal!” Scootaloo said.
“Oh God, not again,” Shmangie groaned as the realization hit her. “Please tell me you three didn’t—”
“We gotta stop her before it’s too late!” Apple Bloom shouted with unbalanced eyes. “We can’t let her organize and monitor all life as we know it! We’ll need to take drastic measures, but if we’re quick, we can minimize the damage!”
“Drastic measures!” Babs sprung to her hooves. “Yes! Anything to save the world!”
Scootaloo gave Apple Bloom a knowing look. “You’re thinking what I think you’re thinking, aren’t you?”
Apple Bloom nodded. “There’s no other way.”
She then turned to me and spoke words that chilled my very soul.
“Sweetie… get the duct tape.”
“NOOOOO!”
My scream was probably heard half a county away. My horn hummed loudly, and they were pinned against the barn wall before they could even blink.
“Hey!” Scootaloo wriggled and squirmed. “Not cool!”
“SHMAN’!” I grunted from the strain. “GRAB ‘EM!”
“Sweetie and Angie are corrupted!” Apple Bloom declared, the mirth clear in her voice. “They’ve both been replaced by cyborgs! Twilight’s takeover has begun!”
Babs was unable to say anything because she was too busy laughing her plot off.
Shmangie sighed. “Overreacting a bit there, kiddo.” She calmly walked over to Apple Bloom and Babs and picked them up in each arm. They made no effort to fight her as they continued to laugh.
I let go of Babs and Apple Bloom and focused my efforts on containing Scootaloo, I marched up to her and poked her in the ribs.
“How much did you drink?”
Scootaloo stuck out her tongue. “Sorry, I don’t speak binary.”
My horn’s hum grew louder. “I’ll do it, Scoots.”
She blew a raspberry at me. “My will is like iron! Do your worst, Sweetie-Bot!”
That was the last straw. While still keeping her pinned, I focused my magic just above her navel, then changed the pressure of my magic so that it began to vibrate.
“Hidden Art: Telekinetic Tickle Jutsu!”
Scootaloo shrieked. She tried with all her might to free herself from my merciless assault, but it was no use. Her squeals of laughter became louder and more high-pitched as I continued my attack.
“N-no, please!” she managed between breaths. “Not the t-tummy! Anything but the tummy! Ahahahahahaha!”
“Stay strong, Scoots!” Apple Bloom called from under Shmangie’s arm. “Don’t give in!”
“Quiet, you.” Shmangie shot Apple Bloom a withering look. “You’re on thin ice as it is.”
Apple Bloom’s ears drooped. “Yes, ma’am.”
“How much?” I asked again, paying no attention to Scootaloo’s pleas.
“W-we shared one!” she choked. “Just o-one! We wanted to s-see how we’d r-react now! Please s-staahahahaha!”
I finally let her go. She fell to the ground in a twitching heap, still giggling and clutching her ribs. I shook my head sadly as I looked down at her.
“I thought we all learned our lesson last time. That stuff should be illegal for human minors, let alone eight-year-old fillies! We probably don’t even have a tolerance to caffeine anymore, you dodo! You may as well have taken a hit of meth!”
“Meth probably would’ve been safer," Shmangie said.
“Seriously!” I agreed as I threw up my hooves. “Did any of you even think? Why would you think drinking that stuff right now would be a good idea?”
“Oh, lighten up, Sweetie,” Babs said. “I used to drink it all the time to get through my night shifts, remember? We’re just messing around.”
“Yeah...” Scootaloo wheezed. “No duct tape… promise...”
My right eyelid twitched. “I swear to Luna I will tickle you to death if there is.”
Scootaloo’s goofy grin didn’t waver. "There are worse ways... to go.”
The urge to continue anyway was strong. This had probably been her idea in the first place, as she was always did get a kick out of pushing my buttons. I wasn’t actually mad, though. Heck, I'd have probably tracked Twilight down myself and joined in on the sugar rush if we had more time. It's a shame that the whole ‘preparing to fight Discord’ thing had to take precedence.
I pursed my lips into a thin line. “Okay, whatever. So you’re all hyped up on Flatline. Great. Just stay away from adhesives and all other polyethylene products for the foreseeable future and we'll be fine. In other news, Shmangie’s agreed to help us, so all we’re all set to begin Operation Zerg Rush.”
Scootaloo and the others cheered. Shmangie snorted at the plan name, but declined to comment. She set Babs and Apple Bloom down on the ground and sat down beside the van.
“Okay, first thing," I said. "We’re gonna need to be careful about how we break this to everypony, They’re not all gonna wanna come with us, and if we try to force them, nopony will come at all. Oh, and make sure not to villainize Dash and the others . Regardless of why they're ACTUALLY sneaking off, we have to paint them in a positive light.”
Scootaloo folded her hooves and looked away. “So don’t say that they’re ditching us, even though they totally are. Got it.”
I raised an eyebrow. “You’re really bad at pretending to be bitter, you know that?"
“Excuse me?!” Scootaloo whirled on me. “Who the hay says I’m pretending?!”
I barely managed not to laugh. “That would be your friend of two-and-a-half decades. Nice to meet you!”
“We all can read you like a book, Scoots,” Babs said. “You acted this way every time your dad went to the Middle East to treat terrorist casualties, remember?”
“And when your mom travelled cross-country in bad weather for her job,” Apple Bloom added.
“You don't have to put up an act around us, kiddo,” Shmangie said gently. “You're not the only one who's worried. It’s not like it’s a sign of weakness or anything.”
Scootaloo’s retort died on her lips. She gave all of us the stink eye for a few seconds, but then, she let out a low growl and looked away.
“Stupid lifelong friends. Curse you and your... knowing me so well, or something.”
I laughed and gave her a playful nudge. “Bitterness doesn’t suit you, Gangstaloo. You’re much better at the whole lovable goofball thing, so do us all a favor and just play to your strengths.”
“Yeah!” Babs said. “Fo’ shizzle!”
"Oh my God." Shmangie facepalmed. “Never say that again, please.”
Scootaloo smiled despite herself. “I just... I’m so damn frustrated with feeling helpless all the time. Dash was trying to play this all off as no big deal when it obviously is, and she deserves a flank-kicking for trying to do this alone.”
“Trust me, she’s not the only one,” Babs grumbled. “They all deserve a beating for this.”
There was a murmur of agreement at that. Personally, it killed me that we couldn’t just stop them right out instead of reacting to their actions. I swear, part of me wanted to go find them and chain them to a wall or something.
“I think we’re gonna have to shelve that idea, tempting as it is," I said. I leaned back on my haunches and sighed. “The only thing we can do now is react to their actions, and seeing as they’re leaving in only a few hours, we need to react fast.”
“Heh. Fast, eh?” Scootaloo’s eyes suddenly glinted bright with interest. “You now have my attention.”
All eyes were now on me. “What’s the plan, then?” Babs asked.
I cleared my throat. “Shmangie’s gonna go pack up our things at the hotel and get gas for the van. While she’s doing that, the rest of us'll let everypony know what’s going on. We’ll cover more ground if we split up, so Babs and Scoots, you go together. Apple Bloom, you're with me.”
“Er...” Apple Bloom’s eyes darted between Shmangie and me. “Sweetie, can I go with Angie, instead?”
I wrinkled my brow. Had to admit I wasn't expecting that. I looked to Shmangie, who was giving Apple Bloom a curious look. She fidgeted a bit and rubbed her arms, but then managed to eke out a forced smile.
“Sure, Mikey. That’d be... nice.”
It’s amazing how fast a conversation can turn awkward, isn't it?. I mean, yeah, we were about to do pretty crazy stuff, but there wasn’t any reason for trepidation just yet. However, this was an abrupt reminder of the rift still present in our group, and they hadn't had a chance to work things out yet, so...
“I suppose that works,” I said with a shrug. “It’ll probably be better that we spread the word slowly until Dash and the others are gone, anyways.”
Apple Bloom bowed her head. “Thanks.”
My reply was a nod, but the expression on my face spoke volumes. After that, there wasn’t anything else for me to tell her and Shmangie, so they said their goodbyes and piled into the van.
I watched them drive away in silence, the exhaust fumes dispersing into the empty air. I hoped they would be alright, but it was out of my hooves. I forced myself to push it out of my mind and turned back to Scootaloo and Babs.
“I’ll leave it to you on how to do this. Just remember that Dash and the others’ll probably try to stop you if they hear about what you're doing, so keep a low profile until they’re gone.”
“Sure thing, boss,” Scootaloo said. “It’s a little bit past eight right now, so we’ve got plenty of time.”
“What about you, Sweetie?” Babs asked curiously. "What's your strategy gonna be?"
I rolled my shoulders and got to my hooves. “It’ll depend on who I’m talking to, but I’m thinking the main allure’s gonna be revenge. I doubt it'll be hard to sell that.”
***
It was really hard to sell that.
“Are you insane?!” the stallion in front of me said. “We’ll all be killed!”
I suppressed the urge to rub my temples. I looked around to see if his outburst had drawn attention, but the ponies around us seemed more interested in getting ready for bed.
“Listen to me,” I said in a terse voice. “I know we have a chance to beat Discord if we all work together. Aren’t you upset about the last twenty-five years of your life being a giant lie?”
The stallion grit his teeth. “Of course I am, but... there’s nothing I can do about it, alright? I’m just a normal guy—I wasn’t anyone important from the show, or anyone important as a human, for that matter!”
“That doesn’t mean you can’t make a difference,” I said. “You have a chance to be a part of something great here! You’re telling me you wanna just sit back and pass it up?”
“That’s exactly what I’m telling you!” the stallion snarled. “Even if Twilight Sparkle and the others needed help to deal with this, they certainly wouldn’t want it from someone like me! I know they’ll save the day just like they always do; all we have to do is let them.”
“They’re not even the same ponies anymore!” I pleaded. “Have you spoken to them? Their memories are gone just like everyone else’s! They’re going to need—”
The stallion held up a hoof. “Look, I get that you’re trying to do everything you can to help. Really, I do, but I’m not the one you should be asking. I’m sure there are some others around here who’d be willing to go with you, though—maybe you should try and find some of them, instead.”
I made no effort to stop him as I watched him walk away. I almost wanted to call after him to say that that's exactly what I’d been doing for the last few hours, but I didn’t see a point. It’s not like that would’ve freed his mind from the fear and insignificance gripping it.
I idly kicked at a rock as the last few stragglers file into the barn for bed. I wished that that stallion’s mindset was abnormal, but it wasn’t. Ponies were scared, plain and simple, and there wasn’t much an eight-year-old filly with a penchant for mischief could do to convince them otherwise. I wasn’t about to give up yet, mind you, but I—
“Not having much luck, I see.”
I turned around in surprise. There right in front of me was a quartet of white knees. I took a step back and looked up, and found that they belonged to an enormous stallion with a three-toned cobalt mane and tail. He had an analytic demeanor about him that was almost stern, but his kind eyes told me that he was an approachable sort.
“Haven’t had much of a chance to talk with you.” The stallion smiled at me. “Rarity’s told me a lot about you. You know who I am, right?”
I felt my legs grow weak. If course I knew who this was—this was Shining Armor, the stallion my sister was willing to fight tooth and hoof for. And Holy Mother of Celestia, no-freaking-wonder! His build was athletic and muscular, his jaw was rugged and strong, his horn was long and sleek and his gorgeous eyes could probably stop traffic. I seriously doubted Rarity even realized what a catch she’d landed here. How could she, after all? She was making judgments based off human ideals of beauty. Shining Armor was handsome when viewed in those terms, sure, but Equestrian standards put him into the mythical realm of damn.
A flush crept into my cheeks. “H-hi, Shining Armor. Sh-she’s told me a lot about you, too.”
Shining Armor chuckled. “Just Shining is fine. And nothing too incriminating, I hope. Don't want you to think less of me just yet.”
I shuffled back and forth. “Um… h-how much of that did you hear?”
“Enough to know what you're doing—or what you’re planning on doing, rather.” He gestured to the house. “I was hoping I could have a moment. Do you mind?”
Ah, horseapples. There I'd spent all that time telling the others we needed to keep this quiet, and of all ponies I wound up blabbing it in front of the blasted Prince—er, former Prince. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
Shining seemed to catch on to my mental berating. “Oh! I'm not trying to stop you or anything. Quite the opposite, in fact.”
That got my attention. “Opposite?” I repeated. “What do you...”
Again, he motioned to the house. “Come on. Ponies are sleeping out here.”
Confused, I followed him inside. He led us into the living room, which I saw had been meticulously cleaned by somepony since the last time I was there. Maybe it was him? He didn’t strike me as the housekeeping type, but this was Twilight Sparkle’s brother we were talking about. Maybe anal retentiveness ran in the family.
There was third pony in the living room, as well. Big Macintosh was sitting in an old lazy boy watching the national news, which was currently droning on about some Senator crying wolf about the prospect of war. I swear, it was all they’d been talking about for a week, and I could recognize thinly-veiled political lobbying when I saw it, Judging from the bored look on Mac’s face, so could he.
Mac noticed us come in. His eyes flickered to Shining for an instant before nodding at me.
“Sweetie.”
I felt my blush return. “H-hey, Mac.”
Mac and I had something of a complicated history. I’d had a crush on him before Discord attacked, but it wouldn't have worked out so I’d just admired him from afar. The infatuation left me all shy and klutzy whenever I was around him, though, and it made our exchanges exceedingly awkward for me. He was oblivious to it of course, as most guys tend to be about such things, so I just pretended nothing was wrong and avoided the stupid sexy bastard as much as I could.
I seriously wanted to throw something. There I was, alone with the two most gorgeous stallions I’d ever seen in my life, and I was trapped in the body of a pre-pubescent filly. I decided right then and there that the universe enjoyed watching me suffer.
Shining helped me up on the couch before sitting down in a recliner beside Mac’s. He turned down the TV with his magic before turning his attention back to me.
“So,” he began. “I’m guessing Scootaloo told you about the portal.”
I exhaled out my nose. “Yeah. She came to us right after Dash told her about it. Did they all leave already?”
Shining nodded. “About twenty minutes ago. They’re taking a boat up the Mississippi to get there. Should arrive by dawn.”
I perked up. That was quite a while, so maybe there was still a chance we could convince more ponies. “What about you two?" I asked. "Why’d you stay behind?”
Mac yawned. “Someone’s gotta hold down the fort. May as well be us.”
I frowned. “You don’t want in on the action? I thought you’d both be raring at the chance to fight Discord.”
“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about," Shining said. "See, I was there when Dash told Scootaloo about this, and to be perfectly honest, her choice of words was terrible. She drew the wrong conclusion and stormed off before either of us could stop her, and then we both got sidetracked and couldn’t do damage control. No one’s going to face Discord by themselves, and no one thinks that anybody is dead weight.”
My world froze. “You mean… that’s not… it was just…”
“This is their fault, not yours,” Mac cut in. “Scootaloo’s reaction was understandable, and you didn't know any better. I’da been pissed too if Dash told me that she and the others were ‘sneaking off.’”
Shining nodded. “This is our screw-up. Don’t feel bad about it.”
Don’t feel bad? HA! I wanted to curl up in a ball and die. I couldn’t do that on command, though, so I whimpered and hid my head under a pillow, instead.
“Hey, what'd I just say?” The pillow became enveloped in magenta light as Shining gently pulled it off me. “Besides, it was a badly kept secret from the beginning. Fluttershy mentioned it to a few ponies, too, so I wouldn’t be surprised if the whole farm knows by now. “
“We were only trying to be quiet about this because we didn’t want anyone to raise everyone’s hopes until we knew if the portal was real, anyway.” Mac said as he idly cracked his neck. “No sense in all of us trekking up there for what might be a wild goose chase.”
I had to admit that made sense. That just made me feel even worse, though—once again I’d dismissed the logical and rational solution for favor of a ludicrous one. I was starting to notice a disturbing trend, one that was all too common when I was younger, and I was beginning to suspect that my body’s regression had affected my judgement. I couldn’t trust myself to make logical conclusions anymore if that was the case, and while that might’ve been cause for alarm in most cases, I realized I could also use it as an excuse for acting like an idiot.
Heh. Maybe there were some benefits to immaturity, after all.
“So the whole farm knows that Rarity and the others are going off inspecting a possible portal to Equestria, and yet none of them seem to care about it?” I scratched my head. “What’s the deal with that? Everyone I asked to go after them was either indifferent or scared shitless.”
“Well, the fear is certainly understandable,” Shining said. “Most people don’t exactly get excited about the prospect of war. As for the apathy, I’d say that’s because we haven’t confirmed whether the portal’s real yet or not. Most are probably thinking that it sounds too good to be true, so they don’t want to get their hopes up.”
“You gotta admit it sounds far fetched,” Mac said with a small smile. “An interdimensional portal that’s gone unnoticed all this time in the middle of a human city, only one hundred miles away? What are the odds of that?”
I mulled that over for a bit. “I hadn’t thought of it that way, but now that you mention it, the odds are so astronomical that I doubt they’re odds at all.”
Shining cocked his head. “What do you mean?”
I watched a fly buzz around the ceiling as I recalled a conversation I'd had with an Astrophysics major. “One interpretation of both multiverse and string theory is based on the idea that all matter inevitably returns back to its point of origin. If something were to leave one universe and cross into another, it would leave Universe A with less mass and Universe B with more, thus creating an imbalance in time and space. It’s thought that the imbalance would inevitably have to correct itself, but since we don’t know how, the theory’s never been further explored. Based on that much, though, it’s plausible to say that all these ‘coincidences’ could just be the result of our old universe and this one trying to resolve the imbalance of mass.”
Shining and Mac stared at me with blank eyes. I didn’t notice at first because I was busy remembering all the other stuff the guy had said, but when I saw their expressions, my blush came back with such force that I thought my cheeks would burst into flame.
“Th-that’s just a theory though. I’m p-probably way, way off.”
Mac burst out laughing. “Oh man, Shining. You already have one brainiac for a sister; what’s it gonna be like having two?”
“I’m not a brain—” I did a double take. “Wait, WHAT?!”
Shining punched Mac in the shoulder and shot him a dirty look. “Dammit, Mac! We weren’t gonna tell her yet!”
My eyes grew to the size of dinner plates. “You’re marrying Rarity? You’re really, really marrying her?!”
Shining put a hoof behind his head. “We were going to tell you together when all this had blown over. We obviously don’t have any way to make it official right now, but eventually, we will. You’ll be in the wedding, of course—er, if you want to be, that is.”
I squee'd. “ARE YOU CRAZY?! OF COURSE I DO!” I leapt off the couch and glomped Shining in a pink and purple blur. “I’m gonna have a brother-in-law! This is great! Thisisgreatthisisgreatthisisgreatgreatgreat!”
The only downside of this was that I wouldn’t ogle him anymore. However, on the flipside, my nieces and nephews were almost guaranteed to be both super-intelligent and adorable. That was an acceptable trade-off in my book!
“Glad you… approve,” he wheezed. He steadied the recliner so we wouldn’t tip over. “We were worried... you wouldn’t.”
I giggled and hugged him harder. “Why wouldn’t I? Rarity loves you! You DO love her back, right?”
“Of course I do,” he said immediately. “I have for a long time, actually, and nothing’s ever going to change that.”
“Especially now that you and Cadance have straightened things out,” Mac added. “Although one of you will need to file for divorce, now. Unless Equestrian law is different, or something.”
I gasped. “Princess Cadance is here? Oooh, how’d that go?”
“Shh.” Shining put a hoof to his lips. “It went fine. She’s not in great shape at the moment, but she should be okay with some rest. She’s upstairs sleeping at the moment.”
My mood sobered a little at that. Yet another pony that’d gotten hurt somehow? How many was that now? How long until somepony got hurt in a way that couldn’t be healed? The longer we were here, the greater risk we took, and it was only a matter of time until our luck ran out.
I let go of Shining and returned to the couch. “I was worried her turning up would lead to problems with you three, but it sounds like you worked it out. It’s too bad she’s hurt, though. She’d be a big help with the portal if it really is the one from Equestria Girls.”
Shining and Mac exchanged a glance. Mac almost imperceptibly jerked his head at me, and Shining lowered his eyes. He was quiet for a few seconds, but then, he clicked his teeth and looked up at me.
“Sweetie... Mac and I want you and the Crusaders to go after Dash now.”
“Huh? You do?” I looked between them. “Why?”
Shining gestured to the ceiling. “Cadance is cursed just like the rest of us, but she’s still linked to the Crystal Heart, whose power is far, far older than Discord's. It occasionally shows her visions of various events—past, present, and future—and while she doesn’t have any control over it, the future events almost always come to pass. Er, according to her, anyway.”
I suddenly felt a chill. “She had a vision of me, didn’t she.”
“Just a few minutes ago,” Mac confirmed. “Creepiest damn thing I’ve ever seen, too. Damn near pissed myself when her eyes went white like that.”
Shining chewed on his lip. “She saw you standing in front of a giant stone statue inside a large abandoned building. Dash and the others were there, your friends included, and as they all looked on, you pressed your hoof against the base and caused a bright flash.”
I waited for him to continue, but he didn’t. I made a small circular motion with my hoof. “Okaaaaaaaaay. And?”
Shining shook his head. “That’s all she saw. She passed out right after telling us about it.”
I withheld a groan. Of course things would play out like this. What kind of mystical, ancient artifact would the Crystal Heart be if it didn’t deliver vague, cryptic hints delivered by physically fragile messengers? What was next, a time-lost prophecy would be uncovered that declared me as the Chosen One?
Shining seemed to confuse my exasperation for uncertainty. “You don’t have to do this if you don’t want—”
“Oh, I’m doing it,” I said as I hopped off the couch. “I was planning on going anyway, remember? Heck, my human sister’s already got all our stuff packed. I can leave in five minutes.”
“This is gonna be dangerous,” Shining warned. “There’s no telling what’ll happen once we open that portal. Discord could be waiting right on the other side of it for all we know.”
“And he’s not gonna hold back just because you’re a filly.” Mac’s face was as grim as his voice. “You won’t have anything or anyone to hide behind.”
It was hard not to let Mac’s concern for me affect what was I was going to say next. Sure, I could’ve played it up and milked some sympathy points out of him to cash in later, but I felt that now was a time to be serious.
“I knew what I was getting into when Scoots first told me about this," I said. "Actually, no, that’s a lie. I knew what I was getting into when Discord came to me in a dream and threatened to hurt Angie. I’ve been waiting for this to happen for weeks now, and I’m well aware of what I both stand to lose and gain. I didn’t want to hide when I first started turning back into a pony, and I sure as hay don’t want to hide now. I’m going to go after Rarity and the others, I'm going to face that monster and get back everything that I’ve lost, or so help me Celestia, I’m going to die trying.”
I’m usually not much for bravado, but I can pull it off when need be. I worried I might’ve overdone it at first, but then I saw the acceptance in Shining and Mac's eyes. It seemed that I’d guessed right that they’d both appreciate a display of courage...
...even if it really was just that.
It was Shining who spoke first. “We’ll wait to hear word, then; from either Dash, or you, I suppose. In the meantime, I’ll see what I can do about getting more ponies to come with us. I might have more luck than you. For some reason I seem to have a knack for motivating ponies.”
Mac laughed and gave Shining a mock salute. “Gee, I wonder why.”
I laughed as well. “Yeah, mystery of the century, there.”
It took Shining a second to catch what we meant. “Wow, I… wow, I feel dumb now. You know, that actually makes a lot of sense? I can’t believe I didn’t see that.”
“Hey, at least your special talent is useful right now.” I looked back at my own cutie mark. “I doubt I’m gonna be able to sing Discord to death.”
“Hey, you never know.” Shining winked at me. “Maybe you can learn how to scream like a banshee.”
“Or make his head explode with sound waves!” Mac clapped his hooves together. “That’s actually possible, you know. You just need to figure out how to do it with magic.”
I snickered. “Won’t know unless I try, I suppose.” I headed for the door. “Thanks, you guys. I won’t let you down.”
“Good luck, Sweetie!” Mac said.
“Be careful, Future-Little-Sister-in-Law!” Shining called.
I smiled. “We’ll need to think of a good abbreviation for that.”