//------------------------------// // 3. The ballad of The deadpool // Story: Deadpool meets Equestria // by Novablast15 //------------------------------// Chapter 3 The ballad of the Deadpool After about 10 minutes of crying over the dead taco, he dug a mini hole in the ground and bowed his head as he put the taco into the hole. "As we commence your souls to Aetherius, Blessings of the Eight Divines upon you, My dear taco friend" Wade burst into a new peel of tears and started to sing slowly. "Forever young, I want to be forever young Do you really want to live forever, forever, forever? Forever young, I want to be forever young Do you really want to live forever, forever, forever!!" [Wow Wade that was deep. A manly tear just came to my eye.] "I don't want to talk about it." Wade looked down and buried the poor, brave young taco. "OKAY. Where was I? Oh yeah...WHERE THE CRAP AM I? (Check your Pokedex!!) [Oh man. I am going to get so sued over all this copyright] {SHUT IT writer and eat the cupcake that person gave to you in the comments} As everyone reading tries to find the comment now) "Err mind? 1st of all stop yelling at the writer. and 2nd I don't even have a Pokedex... WAIT! Were those pony things. WERE THEY POKEMON?!" Wade's eyes narrowed " I must.... catch them all" Over head a voice was heard. Stay turned because next, On the hub It's My Little Pony friendship is Magic (.....Ok, I’m lost. You’re on your own dude) "UH... what" Wade looked up in the sky. "God?" My Little Pony, My Little Pony. Ah Ah Ah Ah... My Little Pony!! I used to wonder what friendship could be "WHAT?? ITS IN MY HEAD!! AGH" My Little Pony, Until you shared its magic with me!! Wade fell to the ground screaming a rather unmanly squeal with his hands to his ears. To look at him, you’d think he was undergoing a frightful, painful torture. Big adventure,Tons of fun, A beautiful heart, Faithful and strong,Sharing kindness, It's an easy feat!’ Wade slowly reached for one of his handguns and cocked it as he aimed it to his head. “SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!! THIS IS WORST THAN HAVING JUSTIN BIEBER STUCK IN MY HEAD! BRING BACK THE VOICES! BRING BACK THE VOICES IN MY HEAD DAMN YOU!” And magic makes it all complete!!! Do you know you're all my very best friends?!!!!!!! BANG. "Wake up my dear insane friend" A voice gently called to Wade. The weird pony song was gone, the voices were back...which is a weird thing to be relieved about but it’s Deadpool so there you go. Wade was of course healing, "Okay.. what the hell was that voice?" {what voice?} "The voice in green!! IT WAS IN MY HEAD.." (You mean me?) "NOT YOU.. The other one!!!" Deadpool stood up. "Okay okay. Mhmm lets backtrack" ENTER DEADPOOL VISION!!!! 1.Do a sexy job 2.Get paid 3.Go home.. earthquake 4. ?????? 5. ponies.. "Yep.. I guess that's how I got here, I was too sexy for my world and it sent me here. I mean look at my body.. I work out!" (You’re kidding me. You’re now going to quote Sexy and I know it?) "Never heard of it..." (........ God, you are so dumb...it's actually so cute) ".... My mind... just hit on me..... OKAY THEN." Wade went over to the water and leaned down and started to drink from the stream, because that’s what the explorer people on survival documentaries do when they’re out of Mountain Dew. "Huh. This...is kinda good. Mhmm best water I had in my whole life...better than Mountain Dew" He sat on a nearby rock and pulled out a diary with pink laces and pretty little flowers on it. Deadpool looked up, straight at the reader, frowning ."Don't judge me, It was on sale" He looked back down and started to write. Deadpool's Diary Stardate 69.115.42XD. Dog carcass in alley this morning. Tire tread on burst stomach. The city is afraid of m.. "Wait that's not right. lets try that again." Between you and me, something amazing happened... and now I can talk to animals. It's really cool, but totally secret. And you know what? Life's never been the same. This is me, Eliza Thornbe.. "CRAP..Thats not right ether. UH.. OH I GOT IT." (Wade.. just give up before we make a Bel air joke) "OH FINE.." Wade put the pink diary away and stood. "Guess we should find a place to crash then...mhmm...Do you reckon this place has a Hilton?" Deadpool just started walking down the river, looking around for some sort of place he could bust into and sleep...maybe shoot a few things/people. "Huh.. This place is colourful. Kinda hurts my head. WHERE IS MY GREY!! Ohh a bunny.." A bunny ran in front of him and looked up with a mixture of chirpy cute naivety and hope for food. "Awww! It’s so cute" Wade popped out his handgun like Clint Eastwood, chucking it up in a totally realistic fashion and grabbing it slow mo as he shot the bunny in the face. "That’s better” He grinned before looking up and noticing the rather shocked reader. “WHAT?? Everything is so nice. I GOTS TO shoot something!!" [I am going to get so much hate for that] Wade kept walking by the riverside, not really having any clue where he was going or general idea for plot. He was just walking till he came to what looked like apple trees. "Ewww!! Veggies.. " Wade kept walking though the apple field as he came to a tree house, better known as the Cutie Mark club house...to everyone but Deadpool. "I have now my NEW motel...yay!" Wade ran up and crawled through the window in a cool stealth move. Looking around the dark, empty living room he looked all the drawings of ponies and apples before then coming to a map of Ponyville.. "AHH HA!” He declared with an air of triumph. “I have no idea what any of this means.... I'm just going to go to sleep," It was starting to get dark as he curled up into a ball in the corner and started to pass out. "Mhmmm.. My little ponyyyy.. My li...zzzzzz" Wade passed out, reaming Of World War Two intermingled with ponies. All the other ponies were asleep...minus one. As Twilight sat up in bed, reading though book after book to find out what she could be dealing with, she looked up and sighed "WHAT could it be!!" At that moment, She heard something loud, strange and unfamiliar. Scrambling from her bed and down the stairs, ran out of her home and looked up to the night sky. She gasped loudly, this wasn’t right! Up in the sky.. was cotton candy clouds