***
Twilight Sparkle had always loved history. There was a certain element of awe, of intrigue, of mysticism to learning about the past. Indeed, Celestia had always taught her of the importance of remembering one's failures, and striving to learn from them. After all, one who does not know the past is destined to repeat it.
In the dim bedroom, Twilight's horn flickered a bright violet as she turned the page of the book. She could practically smell the history in the dust that wafted off the weathered paper, and she sighed in content.
There was a light chuckle from the head of the mare curled around her on the bed. "Enjoying that book, my dear?"
Twilight smiled, a light blush on her cheeks. "That obvious, huh?" She lifted up the book and held it a little closer to the bedside candle, so her lover could see the title. "It's an account of the history of Equestria, from its founding all the way up to the beginning of the Modern era." She shrugged. "So, a pretty light read."
"A light read." Celestia echoed. She looked pointedly at the couple of thousand pages bulging between the front and back covers. "Of course."
Twilight giggled rather bashfully, before noticing Celestia's own reading material. "What's that you're reading?"
Celestia blinked, then looked down at her scrappy leather-bound tome. "Oh, this? Just an old journal I found. It piqued my curiosity, shall we say."
Twilight subconsciously tilted her head, a habit Celestia claimed made her look 'adorkable'. "A journal? By who?"
"Me."
Twilight blanched. "Really? But look at how worn it is! How old is it?"
"Oh, just a few piddling centuries, I'd say. I can't say I missed those times very much," Celestia smiled slyly. "You weren't in
them, after all." Her head dashed forward and dared a quick, passionate kiss on the lips. They both laughed, and held one another close.
Then a thought occurred to Twilight. "Celestia?"
"Yes, love?"
"What was it like back then? Before Equestria?"
No answer. Several moments of silence passed before Twilight spoke up again, her voice laced with uncertainty, "Celestia?"
There was a deep sigh; a sigh that carried the weight of countless centuries, and would continue to until time itself had ended. "I'm sorry, Twilight. It was just unexpected is all, though honestly I should have foreseen this question sooner." She rested her head on top of the enraptured Twilight's. "I actually don't remember much of that time, so long ago. I can recall certain things, however; sensations, emotions, sounds. I can remember being lost. Lost, with no goal in mind. And being alone. So very, very alone."
Twilight felt hot tears landing on her head, but she was so distracted that she barely acknowledged them. Celestia's eyes were shut, clenching as the memories flowed like a river.
"It was all so empty. Luna wasn't there—she arrived later, I think. But nothing meant anything. There were no cities, or anything of the sort. Just... emptiness. Maybe the odd plant, maybe the odd pony. And... and it was cold. So very, very cold."
Celestia was shivering. Twilight felt her shuddering against her side. No, more than that; she was shivering too. Now that she noticed, the whole room was freezing all of a sudden, a deep cold that permeated through the blankets, through her skin, all the way down to her bones. The candle on the bedside table sputtered, casting odd shadows around the room.
Celestia wasn't even speaking proper words at this point. The flow of memories had transformed from a river to a crashing waterfall. "Cold, lonely, empty, alone, Luna's gone, where am I, too bright, dark, chaos, where's Twilight, too dark, so alone, Twilight, help me, cold, empty, empty, Twilight where are you, empty, empty, so empty—"
That was enough. Twilight leapt up and wrapped a shivering, freezing, crying Celestia in all four limbs, as well as her wings. She held her there, in that bed, whispering sweet nothings into her lover's ear. Tears fell from her eyes as she apologised, over and over.
Slowly, the shivering stopped, and Celestia opened her eyes to find a sobbing lavender alicorn holding her. "Twilight...?"
"I'm so sorry, Celestia!" Twilight choked out between sobs. "I didn't know—I didn't think... I—just, I'm here for you, don't worry—"
Celestia shushed her tenderly, nuzzling her lover reassuringly. "It's okay, Twilight." Twilight looked up at her, and saw that familiar perfect smile on her face. "I feel... better now, somehow. I didn't realise just how... poisonous those memories were." She shuddered again, and Twilight clung to her in fear of another episode.
"I never realised how empty it was, without you, Twilight."