Chapter 1: Atop the Everfree Forest
Atop the Everfree forest, a bright light shines in the night sky.
Within this solitary evening, Zecora affords the silence as she get her bed ready. She just finished gathering a new batch of Heart's Desire from the forest after helping Fluttershy's pet rabbit Angel from being sick. A good way to end the evening.
She appreciates their visit. Even if most of their visits are about asking for help or advice - even with the baby dragon earlier who she helped learn a lesson about generosity.
It is good to be appreciated.
The thought made her smile. So did of a time when those very same ponies were afraid of her - A time where ponies feared another which they don't understand, all fixed by a little filly named Applebloom.
It has been a while. She wonder if should visit Ponyville tomorrow and purchase supplies for her next likely potion of whatever those little ponies would get themselves into. With her closing thoughts, she lay her head to rest for a hard day's work. Eager to start a new day.
Atop the Everfree forest, a bright light shone in the night sky.
It flashed once, twinkling in the sky and flashed again, shining. The white light bounced about the indigo leaves of the trees and in a moment seemed to explode. In the wake, a red figure plummeted from the blast.
"What the--?! Whoa! WOAH! AHHH! AHHHHH!!!" his screams pierced the still night sky as he fell onto the trees below, each branch hitting him all over on his face, his chest, and several times his groin.
He fell to the ground with such gravity it didn't feel like the trees cushioned his fall at all, or his chances on still becoming a father. He crawled to a fetal position and allowed his healing factor to kick in.
"Ugh... well... ow... there goes my chance of getting called Dadpool... I understand the comic relief but.. ah.. I never thought writers could be this much of a dick... hah... get it?.. because of the... ah..."
{{You're playing for attention again, that's not what we're here for}} the voice was very commanding and asking for attention, like Dr. Doom before he starts a monologue and reveal his next evil plan to the Fantastic Four.
"Ugh... I know..." Deadpool tried to sit up from his fall "I just... I don't know.. feel out of character lately... not because of you mind you... it's just that... I don't know"
{{Like I said, you don't need to play for show anymore, that's what they want you to do. They want you to give a shit when there's no point in really giving a shit}}
Deadpool tried to stand up and noticed his left leg was twisted, he grabbed hold of it and began twisting it back to normal.
{{You're playing their game. You don't need to do that anymore because you have me now. You've always looked for me and you know that. A reason to live in a world without reason}}
Snapping back in place he finally untwisted his leg. He gets a feel for it before standing up to look at his surroundings.
One word. Trees. And plants. Weird plants... okay maybe more like 5 words but you get the idea. And it's dark here, technically there's so many trees around here there's not enough light to go around to tell if it's day outside or night, which could be a metaphor for the bleakness of life or something like that... Deadpool didn't like being deep, despite doing that a lot lately
"What is this that my eyes see? Surely something hard to believe!" Zecora whispered to herself silently as she gaze upon the red creature.
The blast from the sky and the tumbling scream down the forest woke her up. She knew she had to see the disturbance herself and here she stood, mouth ajar at this strange new creature. Cockatrices and manticores have frequent this forest, but nothing like this... thing before.
It seem to be standing on its two hind legs, with its two front legs on its side. Its claws have a strange shape with talons that are smaller but more numerous that what she normally see on animals. The skin, scarred and bulging underneath from every place.
What little fabric covered this creature is red and ripped from every side like it was from a deadly battle, then her eyes turn onto the two swords strapped across its chest to its back.
Everything in her gut is telling her to run away but the sight of something held her in place - A mask unlike anything else she had ever seen. Roundish black spots accenting small and beady eyes, ripped to what she could assume used to be a full mask.
Her mind seems to leave her the more she stare until its small mouth moving about catch her attention. It seems to be talking but... to who? ...Who or what is this thing talking to?
"Strange trees... strange plants... Yup. I bet I’m either in some children's fantasy show or Australia. Am I here to kill the smurfs? Do they count as inspiring literature?"
That creature! It can speak common! She doesn't understand what it meant, but she heard what it said. Especially the kill part.
Her strength finally returns and by instinct she turns to flee. As she back away, a loud snap of a branch under her hoof jolt her in surprise. Cruelly, the sound only amplifies more throughout the silence.
"Well, look at this! Branches ARE always very loud in tense situations.... like... this..." his voice softened when Deadpool got a good look at the noise-maker. It seemed to look like a... Zebra, so Australia it is then, he's definitely in Australia he's sure. Deadpool's no zoologist or whatever but he's pretty sure Zebra's don't wear jewelry.
"...H-Hello.. strange creature of this night. May I ask if you are alright?" the little zebra broke the silence, well this is convenient. A voodoo that can actually speak English -- wait a minute. Did that Zebra just TALKED?
"... a -- ARE YOU TALKING TO ME?" Deadpool blinked, thinking he might have hit his head on a branch too many. He didn't think the hallucinations would start so quick when he ate that glowing mushroom earlier.
It keeps a hoof backward, seeming to be debating whether to answer or not. Finally it relents, almost spitting out its words "Why yes strange creature, said by this lone seeker. Please tell me without fright, what brings you here this time of the night?"
{{This is very interesting.}}
When all's said and done, Deadpool wasn't expecting he would end up killing Moby Dick or Don Quixote or The Ghost of Christmas Past, but THIS? A talking zebra? He's still in the fictional world alright and his work is definitely not done, but here? in a place where zebras talk and who knows what else, what is he going to do here? Why did he end up here anyway? Why was he asking all this questions? He sure could use the help of an ominous voice right now.
The zebra just stood there staring at him. With the air not getting any less tense it proceeded to back away slowly.
"That thing is going away... what do I do?" Deadpool thought to himself waiting for his friendly evil voice inside his head to say something
{{I don't think we've met that thing by accident. Kill it}}
Of course, the first thing you do when you see a talking zebra is to kill it. Everyone who plays video games know that. He never really got the habit of killing animals, unless you count Harold Howard the Duck.
As the creature drew its weapons from its back, she knew she had to run. As soon as the light reflect from the blade, Zecora runs to the opposite direction - certain that this thing is eager for her demise.
{{AFTER IT!!}} the voice was more demanding than before, like a step dad pushing you out of the house to buy his liquor at the store.
"Damn that thing is fast! Maybe I should have been more subtle, like drawing my gun instead" He ran, trying to catch up to the fleeing zebra which he is totally not going to kill and will just ask for directions instead "Hey! Stop!"
Running for her life, Zecora is lucky she knows this part of the woods really well and knows the path to her hut. She wants to scream but she knew nopony would be near enough to hear her - she would need all the energy she could get to run away from this monster but the only sanctuary she had was her hut. If she has an invisibility potion she could use and run straight to --
The sound of a defeaning surge explodes behind her. She trip as her hooves give out to the dirt... she feel a sting rising from her left haunch. Growing. PAINFUL.
"AAAHHHHH!! AHHH!!" She tries to stand but her hoof give away, slidding against the blood flowing to the ground "AAAAAAHHHH!!!"
She force the pain out of her mind, limping and dragging the rest of her appendages away from the monster.
Pain is temporary. Pain is temporary.
PONYVILLE MUST BE WARNED
"Good little zebra! heh... I guess you really can teach other animals a few tricks"
Her head alarmingly twist to the monster standing right behind her, mocking her pathetic display. Her cowardice. Paleness and cold overtook her at that instant...
"Please... let me live..." she tried to hold back her tears but to no avail "Spare me and I will leave..." This cannot be real. This must be a nightmare - YES! Let her wake up! Let this be no more than a nightmare!
"How cute. Even in the brink of death you still speak in rhymes"
{{Enough already, just get this over with}}
Its lanky limbs reach out behind itself and unsheathes two thin-sheet blades reflecting the moonlight about. Her vision drowns to her reflection on the metal sheets closer and closer and closer...
The light reflected from the blade as it digs itself to the side of the injured zebra. Her scream echoed throughout the forest. The birds flew away, the bunnies hid, a bear turned to its direction. A cry for help, a scream of pain, and a howl of sadness all at once.
Every creature knew what it was. Who it was.
And shwwwwsh!! a swift swing from his left for dramatic effect!
As the zebra's head rolls on the ground, Deadpool remembered when he first killed Wolverine on one-on-one. This was a pretty clean cut, blood dripping endlessly from the neck like a faucet while the rings around the neck dangle away to the ground. Taking a glance at the severed head he watched as it slowly close an eyelid halfway. Was that thing winking at him?... maybe not...
"Damn it I can't think of any good head jokes..." Deadpool stood up, looking at his handiwork a little disappointed "...hmm.. hey! 'Well, you can look forward to get ahead in life!'... ah no, that won't cut it... how anti-climactic"
Staring at the dead animal for a few moments, Deadpool finally broke the silence "... so that was fun and all... but what now? and why?"
{{This place is different from wherever we have ever been since}}
"Tell me about it, but I think we kind of established that already. I don't remember any inspiring work of fiction that involves zebras... what am I on, a Disney Movie? Am I killing the Disney universe now?"
{{I don't think so. I can tell this plane of existence is... somehow parallel to us in time... like the founding ideas this reality is built on is similar to our own}}
"... uh huh... ...HEY! I just noticed our cuss words aren't censored! AAASSSSDICK, FUCK-ING son of a BITCH! ho ho! the freedom! Well, I can say we aren't in a Disney movie since I can say fuck whenever I want"
{{Regardless, I can feel this place is more... well, that there's more 'corporate hype' around here than our own adjacent universes}}
"You mean whatever this is, it's more popular than us? Well we can't have that now, can we?"
{{Yes. and you know what that means}}
The tone of the voice suddenly sounds more ominous than ever, but he knows why.
"It means this place needs our help"
{{More than anything we've helped so far}}
"Oh yeah, let's play the good Murderer-Samaritan now"
Shooting one look at his kill, he walked away with contentment that he gets to redeem yet another universe. Time to clock in another universe on the job.
As the body of continue to litter the ground with its blood, he wonders if he would ever stop. Will he keep murdering every single cartoon or movie out there?
When he started this 'Killing everyone to free them from corporate slavery' thing, it felt like a noble mission to him. The kind that he knew was meant for nobody else but a psychopath like him. After a while in this business, he's actually beginning to enjoy it...
Atop the Everfree Forest a bright light shone in the night sky.