Part 2: Coaptation
Rolling hills passed by speedily to the tune of the “clickety-clack” of the railroad tracks. Twilight had boarded the train just before noon, narrowly boarding it in time.
She sighed as her stomach growled. In her haste to record as much out of the book as she could, she worked through her usual lunchtime.
“I’ll just get a meal with Spike, I’d bet he’d like that after having been away,” she mused as she stared out the window. She kept her saddlebags close by, not wanting a stray glance from a passenger to catch a glimpse at what they hid.
“Though I’m sure nopony would even recognize it,” she reassured herself.
“Hm? Recognize what, darling?” asked a kindly older mare in the seat behind her. Twilight froze. Had she just said that aloud?
“Nothing, ma’am. Just thinking out loud,” she replied. Twilight immediately turned her face back to the window, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. She made sure to keep extra silent for the rest of the trip. At least her stomach helped keep her distracted.
“Twilight!” Spike exclaimed as he barreled towards his mother figure, embracing her.
“I missed you so much,” said Twilight as she returned the hug with full force. Spike was waiting for her just outside the train station, next to two clearly annoyed Royal Guards. As soon as Twilight arrived, they nodded towards her and left in a hurry.
Twilight’s stomach growled again.
“Would you like to get lunch here in Canterlot before we head back to Ponyville?” asked Twilight.
“Boy, would I!” Spike replied. Twilight headed towards a favorite restaurant of hers, with Spike on her back. Spike’s recantation of all that he did while at the castle was drowned out by her own thoughts. She needed to get to the library, but without drawing suspicion. Perhaps she could…
“Twilight, are you even listening?”
“Of course I am, Spike.”
“Well then… what did I just say?”
Twilight’s eyes darted back and forth, as she searched futilely for an answer.
“I… I don’t know. I’m really sorry, Spike. I just have a lot on my mind, I guess.”
“Oh! Well, do you wanna talk about it?”
“No!” Twilight immediately knew she responded to quickly. Spike gave her a skeptical look, but seemingly decided not to pry for the time being.
“I’m sorry, please go on,” Twilight said, in as motherly a way as possible. Spike happily continued his tale of his “deeds” of the past week.
But once more, Twilight found herself swimming in her thoughts, trying to think up a way to return a book she knew she wasn’t supposed to have checked out.
Eventually, they arrived at the outdoor restaurant. Twilight managed to push her thoughts away to focus on curing her hunger, and listening to Spike’s adorable ramblings.
“Come on, Twilight, we’re going to miss the train,” said Spike.
“We won’t; I’ve calculated exactly how much time we have, and how long it will take to return the book. If we maintain a pace of approximately…”
“Twilight!” scolded Spike, interrupting her.
“Sorry, Spike,” offered Twilight, acknowledging her acute addiction to detail. They continued in silence for a few minutes.
“So… what’s this book you borrowed? Why don’t we have it at our library?” inquired Spike.
“Well, you see…” Twilight was trying to think up something, “…it’s a very old history book.”
“Oh,” said Spike, sounding bored already. “Wait… I thought they don’t let anypony check those out…” Twilight did her best to ignore that point and hoped he wouldn’t press further.
“Well, whatever. I just can’t wait to get back home. I’m pooped,” said Spike with a yawn.
“We’ll be home in no time,” Twilight said a she nuzzled her little dragon, before he jerked back in exaggerated disgust. Twilight simply rolled her eyes.
Only a few minutes later, they arrived at the Canterlot Library. Twilight was fidgeting, and she had no idea how Spike didn’t pick up on it. She decided not to question it as she made her way to the front desk.
“Excuse me, I would like to-“ began Twilight, before cutting herself off. Three Royal Guards approached the librarian she had just started talking to. What if they were looking for the book? Did the library know it was missing?
Twilight started to panic a little.
“We’re looking for a book that’s missing from the Royal Archives,” said the first guard.
“A very old one,” the second added, earning himself a hard look from the first guard. The third guard simply grunted in agreement.
Twilight started to panic a lot. That was all she needed to turn tail and leave the library.
“What if they know what the book is? What if they know I checked it out? What if they arrest me? Oh, what will the Princess think?” Twilight rambled aloud unknowingly.
“Uh… Twilight? What are you going on about? I thought you needed to return a-“
“No I don’t!” said Twilight, cutting off Spike. Twilight swallowed. She knew she responded too quickly.
“There’s something wrong, Twilight. You sure you won’t tell me about it?” asked Spike, in a concerned tone.
“No, no. It’s nothing. It’s fine, it’ll all be fine,” answered Twilight, regaining some composure.
“I’m really worried about you, Twilight.”
“That’s very sweet of you, Spike. But really, I’m fine. I just had a rough night’s sleep, that’s all.” Spike gave her a very skeptical look, but said no more.
After several minutes of painful silence, Twilight struck up a conversation by asking Spike to recount his visit again, and he began listing off his favorite parts of his trip.
Soon enough, they reached the train station, and two tickets later, they were on their way back to Ponyville, all the while the book weighed heavily on Twilight’s mind. She knew, well, she was sure she knew, that the Canterlot Library now knew the book was missing, and that she couldn’t safely return it now without drawing suspicion. She spent the majority of the train ride in silence, with her mind torn asunder. Part of her wanted to just contact the Princess and confess everything, but her fear of disappointing the greatest pony in the land terrified her.
The sun was setting as Spike and Twilight stepped off the train. Shortly thereafter, they arrived back at the library they called home.
“I’ve already taken care of the chores, so you can have the evening off,” stated Twilight.
“Awesome! Thanks Twilight,” Spike replied.
“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be in my room.” Twilight didn’t even wait to hear Spike’s response. She galloped up the stairs and quickly shut her door, locking it without even thinking about it. She threw down her saddlebags in desperate frustration.
“What am I supposed to do!?” she growled under her breath. She sat with a huff, and out of the corner of her eye she glimpsed the book, partially fallen out of its bag. She glared at it, blaming it for her troubles
“If only I hadn’t found you,” she said quietly but angrily, while slowly approaching the book, “then maybe I wouldn’t be under so much stress.” Twilight stopped short of where the book lay, and continued glaring at it. Her eyes shifted to the lone symbol, the only thing adorning its otherwise featureless cover. It only angered her further. She still didn’t know what it meant, and that fact still taunted her to no end. She gave it a long hard stare, but eventually relented and turned away knowing it was futile; she’d never understand it, and she chose to accept that.
She took a deep breath, using Cadance’s technique, and found herself feeling a little better. She was still worried sick, but at least she could think a little more clearly.
Determined to come to a resolution, Twilight resolved to remain right where she was standing until she could decide the best course of action.
Over an hour later, after agonizingly scrutinizing every possible decision and the most likely outcomes, Twilight decided to simply give the book to Celestia and hope for the best. She wasn’t thrilled with her decision, and she certainly didn’t feel any better. Although she didhave the weak consolation that she made the right choice.
“But I wonder…” she began, before a knock on her door interrupted her thought.
“Twilight? Are you okay?” asked an obviously concerned Spike on the other side of the door.
“Of course, Spike. Why do you ask?” Twilight asked as she opened the door, her mane messy and her eye still twitching every now and then.
“Whoa…”
“What?”
“You don’t look so good, are you absolutely, positively sure that you’re okay?” Twilight wasn’t confident that she could press her luck and get out of this a third time.
“Yes, I’m sure, Spike. I’m just working on a detailed history report for the Princess.” She hoped that sounded boring enough.
“You should get some rest. Please, Twilight, you’ve been acting weird all day.”
“I know, Spike. I’m sorry. I’ll get to bed early tonight.” Twilight leaned down to give him a hug, and he left shortly after. Twilight sighed, and closed her door. She headed over to her bed, too tired to prepare for bed properly, and tried to sleep.
After two hours of tossing and turning, Twilight realized trying to sleep was hopeless. One thing relentlessly occupied her mind: would it work? She was agonizing over whether or not the spells would even work. If they didn’t, there would be no need to feel threatened, and she could even confirm for the Princess that necromancy doesn’t work! But if it worked, if she could actually conjure the dead… then what? Would Celestia ever forgive her? …would she ever even find out?
Eventually, all her thoughts collapsed into single statement, repeating over and over: “I have to know… I have to know… I have to know…”
Just as in the Canterlot library only two days ago, her curiosity trumped her better judgment. She would try it. She would try to conjure the dead.