//------------------------------//
// Breaking Bad 
// Story: The Cassandra Crossovers 
// by CassandraMyOCisBestpony 
//------------------------------//


Chapter 2: Breaking Bad


Walter White lay crouched down on his knees in the hot desert sand.  His body still ached from being tazed into unconsciousness, but he remained resolute, his glare unbreaking from the fried chicken & meth emperor Gus Fring.

"You....can't" he stammered

"If you try to interfere" interrupted Gus, "This becomes a much simpler matter.  I will kill your wife.  I will kill your son.  I will kill, your infant daughter."


*****


Miles away, Skyler was having tea with the only person in the universe that could put up with her shit, the brave and beautiful Cassandra.

"So as I was saying" Skyler took a sip from her tea, "I'm concerned that my husband's drug dealing might endanger our family."

"Oh my god, shut the fuck up Skyler, do you have any idea how god damn unbearable you are?" shouted Cassandra, banging her hoof on the table, "it's a miracle that Walter hasn't put you six feet under."

"Thanks for your counsel Cassandra, you always know just what to say."  She was lucky to have Cassandra as a friend.


*****


"Yo Cassandra, beer me" said Jesse. Cassandra beered him.  "I don't know what to do.  I want to stop making drugs, but I don't have any other purpose in life."

"Jesse, don't say that" insisted Cassandra, "You have Andrea who loves you very much, and Brock who thinks of you as a father figure.  Return to them and never look back.  Take up your hobby of woodworking, you love that don't you?"

"Wow you're so smart, bitch.  AUUUUUUGH!"  Cassandra had given Jesse a shock bracelet that went off whenever he said the B word.  If he was going to be around kids, he couldn't be swearing all the time.

"You know Jesse, I'm really impressed by your progress.  As a reward I'm going to bring Mike back to life."  She did.

Also Skyler fell into the pool and died.


*****


Walter and Cassandra went go-karting.  But as much as they enjoyed riding the karts around the track, they knew they had to talk eventaully.  After 737 laps, the sat down and had a heart-to-heart.

"I need to cook drugs so that my children have money after I pass away" he explained, "but it seems like every dollar I make just gets me into deeper trouble."

"You have to put the needs of your family first" said Cassandra, "the truth will come out, about the money and you."

"But if I tell the truth, all I'll get is my money seized and a lifetime in prison."

"I wasn't going to tell you about this, because I knew you'd say no... but I invented a spell to make all the drugs in the world disappear.  I never needed it in Equestria because my reign of peace made everypony so happy that they never turned drugs.  You understand, it will evaporate your only source of income, but..."

"Do it." he finished.  Cassandra closed her eyes and focused.  After a moment, she opened them again.

"It's done."  She stood up and made her way to the exit, "by the way, check your trunk.  I've left you something."

Walter hurried out to his car and popped open the trunk.  Where the machine gun once lay was huge wooden box with the smell of freshly baked bread and mouth watering garlic wafting out. Curiously, he removed the lid.  What he saw took the wind right out of him; a lifetime supply of dipping sticks.  He collapsed to his knees and wept tears of joy.


*****


Cassandra had gathered all the still-living characters in the desert for a celebration of the peaceful resolution.  The sky was clear, but the heat was mild.  A rainbow shone in the sky.  

"Hank, I have a gift for you, a contribution to your collection.  It's a mineral."  She handed a geode to the DEA officer.

"See Marie, I told you." smirked Hank, "Cassandra, I know I pretend to be a tough guy, but it'd mean a lot to me if I could give you a hug."

"Sure thing, Hank.  Now do you guys want to go dune buggying?"

"You're god damn right." said Walter.  They all got into their dune buggies and strapped on their helmets.

"Psht, nanny state." said Todd's uncle Jack contemptuously.  He threw his helmet away.

"Y'know mister ah like th' cut of yer jib" said Applejack, "ah'm not gonna wear mah helmet either!"  They took off into the sunset, whooping it up as they flew over the sand dunes.  Applejack flipped over because she has no coordination, and because she wasn't wearing a helmet, she died.