//------------------------------// // Banjo & Breakfast // Story: The Princess of Adventure: Return of the Dreaded Love Bird. // by Darkonshadows //------------------------------// Fluttershy awoke with a start when she heard a muffled explosion and there was a loud squeak, but it wasn’t her who squeaked. The blankets flew off the slowly awakening butter colored pony and her mane fell in front of her eyes. With a light jerk of her head her mane moved out of her sight and she was allowed to witness something adorable. The cute high pitched squeak had come from Rainbow Dash whose wings were flared out and had knocked the blanket off of them. Despite the flared wings and the tighter snuggling against Fluttershy’s chest, Rainbow hadn’t woken up and Fluttershy was currently gripping Rainbows butt with her right hoof. “Fluttershy, squeeze me harder… I like it when you hold me roughly…” Fluttershy’s face lit up like a Christmas tree at Rainbow’s sleeping declaration and continued mumbles for stronger cuddles as she nuzzled her nose deeply into Fluttershy’s chest fluff. Fluttershy couldn’t help herself; she nuzzled the top of Rainbow’s head and then kissed her lightly on the nose. Not once had either of them done anything indecent or against the others will, they didn’t do anything in bed but sleep and hold each other. It was to note that Fluttershy took to sleeping in a cloud bed and her old bed became a guest bed or a bed for her little animal friends. Well her animal friends could use it as long as they promised to keep it clean and didn’t leave any of their droppings on it. Speaking of which Fluttershy hated to do this to Rainbow, but she had to find out what was going on in her back yard. She tried to work her way out of the grip of the other pony Fluttershy really did, she ended up with Rainbow clutching to her back as she made her way downstairs. Carrying the added weight of another pony wasn’t easy and she went past her cozy little couch in the living room ignoring the pony sleeping on it and into her kitchen passing by the two beings sitting at the table. Fluttershy flung open her back door and saw what was making all that noise and her heart jumped into her throat as she back away in fear. In her backyard Fluttershy was witness to the pony that had attacked them yesterday fighting another pony, well it looked like she was trying to fight the other pony. The other pony in question was giving the dark grey mare hugs and kisses while cuddling up to her, all the while avoiding a flaming bat and attacking hooves. The dark grey mare multitasked in using her flaming baseball bat to attack separately from herself in concert; it was a really amazing thing to watch as much to see as the other pony had no problem with dodging each deadly swing and strike. Everything was fine until the light pink coated pony with the purple and white streak mane was knocked down with a blow to the chest. Screwball had the air knocked out of her by her sister; she really liked Bad Girl as a sister for she was mean, nasty and cantankerous as all get out. In truth Screwball knew Bad Girl truly liked her in a protective manner, of course now she had the nickname ‘Nuts’ to her ‘Screwy’ all because Kazooie actually accepted the lonely boss fight from ‘No More Heroes’ as one of her own family. Nut Bat or in this case Bad Girl got along with Kazooie perfectly, the boss fight character had a lot in common with the breegull such as their sadistic tendencies, drinking habits and violently explosive natures. Well technically Bad Girl was more vicious whereas Kazooie was just playful. Speaking of viciousness and playfulness, Nuts had Screwball under her left leg putting pressure on the younger pony’s belly and she was gripping Screwballs right hind hoof to pull hard to cause her some pain for all the teasing. Fluttershy looked on horrified that the grey coated unicorn was going to break the strange eyed earth pony’s legs and she would have rushed forward if Rainbow wasn’t weighing her down. She was perplexed in the next moment as she was the grey unicorn pulled hard and instead of the sick snapping sound of a leg breaking, it just stretched. “You do know that’s kind of unfair Screwy?” Nuts continued to pull the stretching leg and there was now eight feet of leg between them and her back was nearly to a tree. “How the ‘YAY’ am I supposed to cause my little sister pain if she’s just going to be ‘YAY’ funny about it? I swear you like being a pain too much you little ‘YAY’.” Her distaste of cursing and rudeness aside Fluttershy just stood there gaping at the stretched leg and the giggling earth pony before a snapping sound was heard. The earth pony’s eyes widened as her entire body flew straight for the grey unicorns and soon they were slammed against the tree. There was a perplexed look in Fluttershy’s eyes as she couldn’t believe what she was now seeing. Screwball felt funny, well her front two legs did as they had wrapped around the tree, her own body and that of her sisters several times getting tangled so that they were both stuck to the tree. The end result was her legs tying off in the shape of a bow. Screwball was still getting used to her squash and stretch talents not having used them much. She gave her sister a sheepish smile as the unicorn struggled to break free from the ridiculously strong hug she was being given. “You are so lucky I don’t need to breathe. Hey blade beak, can we get a little help out here you old golden axe!” Nuts yelled towards the house. “I don’t want to be stuck tied to my little sister for the rest of the day!” Fluttershy took a moment to remember seeing several figures in her house that she had passed by in a daze and she turned to the table. Sitting at the table was Kazooie in her normal form and across from her was a honey bear wearing yellow shorts and wearing a shark tooth necklace. They were holding coffee mugs, one labeled bear and the other bird in large black letters, one red and yellow and the other brown and yellow with a black dotted line in the yellow portion. These coffee mugs are definitely important to the overall plot so it was best that they not be forgotten by anyone. “Hey Peebs, you don’t mind if I invited my brother into the house and showed him around right?” Kazooie said as she sat down her coffee mug on a coaster and talon trotted past the confused pegasus throwing out a parting jab before she went outside to help out her supposed daughters. “You two should get a room at a nice hotel and do an impersonation of your friend Angel, excuse me but I have to go sort out my trouble shooters and makers. So tell me when you plan to have your wedding when one of you gets around to finally proposing as at this moment I don’t think commitment is the issue.” Fluttershy’s entire body flushed bright red as she realized the nuzzling pressure in her neck from a sleeping Rainbow Dash still straddling her body. She was being rather calm given the pony that had attacked most of her friends yesterday had been in a pitched fight with what was apparently her sister, Kazooie was strangely their mother probably by adoption and her subconscious was trying to figure out how to cope with the bird coming back into her life so abruptly without warning. Carefully Fluttershy managed to get Rainbow off her back and slid her carefully onto the floor where the pony curled up like a dog, this caused her to smile as she made her way to the chair pulled it out and sat down. Soon the bear sitting at the table sipping his coffee stopped to pull out a yellow mug with a pink rim and her name on it in big black letters; he poured some coffee into it and then slowly slid it over to Fluttershy. “Thank you.” Fluttershy said pleasantly if quietly before lifting the mug to her lips and slowly imbibing the brown liquid that had a sweet hazelnut flavor. “Don’t mention it, Kazooie drives everyone crazy at least once and she’s done it to me more times than I can count since I’m her brother. Wouldn’t have her any other way though, she really knows how to make life interesting for me.” Banjo offered up calmly, even after his sister had invaded her home and was already causing problems and it wasn’t even past seven yet. “I love her to pieces, but she really loves to be annoying where possible and never underestimate the lengths at which her cunning can go to.” “If it’s not too much trouble to ask, who are you?” Fluttershy decided to ignore the fact that Kazooie was once again being a self imposed houseguest with added imposing. “I’m Banjo, a simple laid back honey bear. My sister Kazooie let me in this morning so I hope you don’t mind. I came here wondering where she had gotten too after our friends started setting things up for living accommodations.” The bear said with a lazy drawl. “Be prepared for unexplainable shenanigans, I don’t think all of them will be my sisters fault though, just most of them.” “Thank you for the warning; she’s a bit um… weird, to be around that is.” Fluttershy tried to think of a word for Kazooie without being mean about it. “That’s the nice way of putting that she’s a total menace to everything, almost without a hint of remorse. Really though, her heart is in the right place most of the time.” Banjo shook his head; he was the one with the backpack at the moment. The bear took a moment to look out a window or the doorway to see Kazooie slowly coiling up the limp noodle arms that Screwball had and she was being assisted by Nut Bat. There was a movement of four hooves and the sound of flushing heard upstairs, soon four hooves made their way towards the kitchen attracted to the smell of the coffee that had been made. Banjo gasped as he hadn’t seen their little pink kitten in a long time and now here she was mostly grown up, her hair seemed to be a bit flatter then he remembered it though. Banjo wasn’t the only one gasping as Pinkie gasped upon seeing Banjo and slowly her eyes started to enlarge and a growing magical smile could be seen on her face, her hair fully fluffed itself out magically within a moments breathe. Pinkie Pie started to feel the need for a hug. Banjo remembered all the times he comforted the lost little pony that had ended up in Spiral Mountain, he also remember how strong she was when she was little. Slowly he reached his left paw into the blue backpack and kept his gaze locked with Pinkie’s, he set the mug in his right paw down on a coaster not wanting to be a rude or bad guest like his sister was. He carefully kept eye contact with Pinkie refusing to even blink as he kept his movements slow and deliberate. Soon Pinkie lunged straight for Banjo, Banjo flicked his left paw and something flew out of it and it was incidentally flying in Rainbow’s direction. Pinkie’s lunge changed direction mid-air and she slammed into a sleeping Rainbow Dash and within seconds she was tangled up in yarn with her. “Why do I always fall for this?” Pinkie whined sadly as she was tangled up with a startled Rainbow Dash, to say she hadn’t been woken up pleasantly was an understatement given her sudden yelp of pain. “Where who when why, what time is it because I have a buc… why am I tied up with Pinkie?” Rainbow had to stop her curse to finish her continued questioning once she took in her current situation, she saw Fluttershy give her a disapproving look when she was about to even say a curse word. Instead Rainbow thought it prudent to instead ask how she ended up tied into a knot with Pinkie in a large amount of yellow yarn and on the floor. “Oh, Rainbow…” Fluttershy sighed sadly; she wished Rainbow would lend her some comfort. A large headache was forming upon the butterfly mares head and her three unwanted intruders were finally filing their way into the kitchen, Banjo she liked and his presence was actually wanted in comparison. At least Banjo resonated with her as he was chock full of kindness and was at least being courteous to ask if it was okay with him being here. Kazooie probably just broke into her house yesterday, either that or Angel had let her and the other two ponies in. Hearing the hint of agitation in Fluttershy’s soft voice Rainbow was immediately up and snapping the yarn wrapped around her with her wings and breaking free of the yarn tangle in the process. She left Pinkie to her tangled mess without a second thought. It wasn’t like the yarn was life threatening, otherwise Rainbow could leave her friend in the lurch like she left Rarity behind in the desert with Pinkie Pie. “Fluttershy what’s wrong?” Rainbow’s protective and attentive streak shot up within moments of hearing Fluttershy’s voice, she was immediately nuzzling up to the beautiful pony. “Oh, just my life falling into madness… that is if it’s okay with you knowing that.” Fluttershy finally answered as Rainbow turned to the sound of the door closing. Rainbow’s eyes bugged out once she realized who the pony and bird creature that entered Fluttershy’s kitchen were, though it took her a moment of staring at the two. She was immediately flaring her wings and placing herself in front of her friend and naptime snuggle pony, with an angry look in her eye directed at the dark grey coated pony. The third pony with the ridiculously stretched out legs that were coiled up like ropes really didn’t cross her mind yet. “What the hay are you doing here?” It was the only sentiment that would cross Rainbow’s lips for the moment. “Carrying my daughter in for breakfast after a particularly humorous injury?” Looking upon the birds back there where two lengths of what Rainbow had thought were coiled ropes, a second look proved them to be the front legs of the mare being carried by the dark grey pony that assaulted them yesterday. “Hey Pinkie, can you give my squirt a little help with her legs being all stretched out?” “Just give me a few minutes Wings; you do realize that it’s still hard for me to escape yarn. I can easily perform every rope related escape trick as a party magician and then some, but yarn is kind of frustrating and I still don’t understand why I can’t escape it so well.” Pinkie was becoming more and more entangled in the yarn as she tried to get out of it, it was beginning to agitate her and an angry Pinkie was certainly a sight to see. “Banjo… can’t you help you’re old kitten out?” “I knew this was coming the moment I decided to throw that yarn ball. I wonder if Busby even needs that third of his collection back.” Sighing Banjo rubbed his head with a paw, he slowly got out of his seat and started using his claws to carefully rip Pinkie free of her stringy blanketing prison. Rainbow carefully stuck close to Fluttershy and watched as Pinkie went to inspect the two limp noodle arms on the table after Screwball was helped with taking a seat. Pinkie scrutinized Screwball for a moment before she started tickling the almost adult mare, Screwball burst out in a fit of giggles as Pinkie went for her armpits and she tried to fight off the pink mare with her flailing limp noodles. After a moment of tickle torture and flailing Screwball looked at her hooves and the fact that they were now no longer stretched, she turned to Pinkie and gave her a strong hug. “Don’t mention it.” Pinkie said amiably. “Don’t mention what?” Rainbow asked not seeing Screwball even move her lips. “Didn’t you hear her? She thanked me for helping her.” Pointing her right hoof at Screwball, Pinkie narrowed her eyes at the pony. “You have a birthday coming up don’t you… can I plan it? Please, please and possibly with a smile of cheese? Maybe wear some shorts in a cool breeze? Do I have to beg on me knees?” “Make it a baseball theme and with a home plate shaped cake… you do know how to make ice cream cakes right? I’m paying for it if you’re willing to cater and knowing you, this party won’t count towards the one you really want to throw me.” Opening bid by Kazooie as Nuts finally took a seat next to the restored Screwball. Kazooie held out a wing to Banjo who reached in the backpack and pulled out a white disk, she took it in her wing and punched it with the other one causing the disk to explode into a now revealed chef’s hat which she promptly adorned. “Aside from that and further negotiations later on, what do you girls want for breakfast? I know you need your health restored Nuts so don’t complain.” “Five beers and wait… I can’t exactly eat meat here can I, especially while I’m like this?” The question horrified both Fluttershy and Rainbow, but Nuts didn’t see a problem with it. She did after all used to be a human psycho assassin who was now a pony psycho assassin, same difference as everyone had their hang-ups like she tried telling Travis once upon a time before she was impaled violently. Fluttershy was more concerned that Kazooie was already placing beer bottles on the table for Nuts. “I don’t recommend eating meat while you’re a pony; the taste is just entirely skewed. I’ll just make you two special spiced omelets.” There was a searching look in Nuts eyes as she stared at Kazooie upon mentioning omelets. “What?” “They’re not coming from… you know.” Nuts actually had a squeamish look on her face, for the second rank hired killer she was being a bit silly. “No, I don’t cook those eggs and if I did it would be a horrible prank Nuts.” Kazooie said flatly knowing what Nuts was implying. “You did it to me once…” Banjo idly stated before sitting down and flicking open a newspaper to read what ponies had for news in this world. “Well you’re the one that requested it of me and it wasn’t just that one time; I’m actually beginning to think you like the taste of scrambled fire eggs.” Instead of answering Kazooie’s questioning gaze Banjo just ducked his head behind the newspaper to hide his blush. “Also he’s the only exception as he actually asked for my eggs specifically, creepy though it may be I am a good source of protein.” “I’ll have a fruit salad with those omelets then.” Back to her gruffer nature she slammed back a beer bottle and within seconds the entire bottle was empty and she was gasping happily. Her eyes turned to narrow on Rainbow who flared her wings in defiance and anger making sure to stay next to Fluttershy in case she did anything. “That’ll be one agricultural shocker and two well spiced ‘burn ass’ margaritas. What did you want Screwball? Unlike your elder sister daughter o’ mine you need to order at least one nutritional thing. Well unless you’re chaos powers make up for the lack of nutritional food, then you can just eat cardboard for all I care.” Holding a notepad in her left wing and jotting it down in pen with her right she was getting Screwball’s order jotted down. “Let’s see that’s two sticky wickets, a steam rolled wicker basket and a house of cards special then. Banjo you low on health or need any magic points? No? Okay then. Now what do you want Pinkie?” “I’ll have a bloody Juan José, some sun spittle and a big baked Smurf.” Pinkie said plainly without even a hint of humor in her voice. “Okay and what will you two be having this morning and do you want me to slip you two some mice then toss you back to bed to finally get somewhere?” Rainbow and Fluttershy were now staring blankly at Kazooie as she tapped a talon waiting for them to make an order. “Well… come on then.” “Why should we trust you to make us food?” Rainbow asked as her eyes darted to the dark grey pony slowly savoring her second bottle of beer. “Oh I don’t know, maybe because Pinkie trusts me enough to be professional when it comes to cooking.” Kazooie was not offended; she was rather untrustworthy at times. “I’ll have pancakes… um if you don’t mind.” Fluttershy’s left hoof pawed at the table slowly and she refused to look Kazooie in the eyes as she brought the mug up to her mouth and started sipping from it. Kazooie was still her friend even if Rainbow was going to a bit difficult about it and she knew Rainbow wanted to be friends with the bird too. “I’ll give you the brown cheese special then, would you like that with strawberries, powdered sugar and syrup Peebs?” After waiting a moment and watching the pony gnaw at her bottom lip slightly Fluttershy finally nodded, Kazooie nodded back at her. “I recommend you drink some mango juice with that, just don’t let any green ducks near it or we’re liable to have a lawsuit. What about you miss eyesore, what would you like for breakfast?” “Like you could even guess what I would want for breakfast.” Rainbow muttered to herself, she didn’t even know why she wasn’t throttling the grey pony yet it. She chalked it up to Kazooie being in the same room as her and the dark grey pony not actively taking any action to harm them, so far it seemed the dark grey unicorn was just happy to be doing some early morning drinking. “That’ll be one egg sunny side up, hash brown carrots and a grilled cheese sandwich light on the butter, as for your drink it will be sweet apple acres cider.” Now she would just wait a little for Rainbows reaction which didn’t take long, Kazooie easily smirked upon seeing it. Rainbow stared at Kazooie for a moment before her jaw slammed into the table with a thud. Seeing that she was done here Kazooie set off to make breakfast, she only stopped to make sure no one did anything stupid as soon as she left the room. “Nuts, Screwy, I want you two to please be nice or else I’ll throttle the both of you. We’re guests in Angel bunnies home after all and we wouldn’t want to cause a ruckus by upsetting his pet ponies, divert any problems you may have in the near future to your uncle Banjo since I’m going to be busy for the next ten minutes.” “You rabbit has pet ponies!?” Rainbow said immediately turning to Fluttershy in disbelief. “Actually… I think she was talking about us…” Fluttershy meekly stated. “What!” Rainbow shouted in indignation, as she knew she wasn’t a pet to a dumb rabbit. The back door opened and in came said rabbit that closed it and stopped at the doorway seeing that everyone was staring at him. Angel just shrugged jumped on top of Fluttershy patted her on the head and then did the same to Rainbow Dash after jumping to her back, afterwards Angel hopped off for the couch to take a nap. Kazooie had recently bribed Angel into doing all of Fluttershy’s work for her so she can bribe Rainbow Dash with Fluttershy who had nothing to do for the rest of the day. Forgetting for a moment that she was feeling insulted by the insinuation that a rabbit owned her backside, Rainbow finally turned her anger to the dark grey coated unicorn with the dirty blonde mane and the strangely alluring pink dress. “Okay who are you and why did you attack us yesterday?” Rainbow stated testily, she wasn’t in the greatest of moods having to deal with Kazooie again considering how insane she was last time she was in Equestria. “I guess my names Nut Bat; just call me Nuts because I am to follow that bloody bird around… huh… no bleep outs for the word bloody? Anyway, I was bored and I was told to keep the five of you busy yesterday, by the way don’t look up.” Of course the second Nuts said not to look up Rainbow inevitably did. Rainbow’s reward was two scoops of slightly melted ice cream hitting her in the face along with a slice of pumpkin pie smacking into her chest. Reaching up with a hoof Rainbow slowly wiped the ice cream out of her eyes and the chunks of pie off her chest, she glared at the little ice cream cloud known as Mr. Cold Spot and then turned to Nuts to have a word with her. “Yeah, that’s her pet so don’t get angry with me about that.” Nuts just pointed at Screwball. The spiraling pupil eyed pony waved to the cloud and it flew to her chest and gently started to rub up against it. Screwball smiled and started to run a hoof along the pink surface of the cloud softly and then she lightly admonished it for being mean to ponies that hadn’t done anything to it or by extension her considering its protective streak. Mr. Cold Spot was a friendly and nice pet, but if you upset him a blizzard and sharp pointy icicles made with tutti-frutti may be the last thing you ever see. “Um… can you please clean up after your pet… cloud… if that’s not too much trouble?” The soft voice of Fluttershy raised a decibel willing everyone to at least try and get along. Screwball gave a grin and nodded she reached behind her back flicked out a purple and white towel that enwrapped Rainbow Dash alongside the mess. With a sharp tug of her right hoof Screwball sent the colorful pony spinning around like a top before dizzily falling to the floor completely clean. “I see Kazooie’s been teaching you cleaning tricks.” Banjo said idly while continuing to leaf through the newspaper he had. “It’s really interesting how fast news travels around here, the huge pie fight sounded fun. I bet the mess will be something to clean up.” Soon breakfast was had and it was eaten with light conversation, with Rainbow Dash wary of the three strangers and the red insane asylum escapee with a sharp beak. The introductions were short and simple, the crazy grinning Nut Bat, the weird grinning Screwball was like looking at another Pinkie pie and Banjo was, while not a normal average honey bear, quite pleasant to talk to. They were all of course aware of whom Kazooie was, if you’ve met her once then you’ll recognize her for life. Fluttershy was happy and a little perplexed with the cheesecake pancakes she received, decadent didn’t even begin to describe the taste and the mango juice was a nice touch to wash it down with. What confused her was how it was possible to cross cheesecake with pancakes, then make the resulting thing taste so wonderful to the point she was willing to forgive Kazooie just about any sin just short of killing a pony. Rainbow received exactly what Kazooie said she would; she wondered where the bird would have even got Sweet Apple Acres cider and then she remembered that Kazooie had put Big Mac in the hospital. She wasn’t about to bring it up quite yet, but she’s also heard that Kazooie was the reason the apple family were owners of the most particularly odd pear tree that appeared in their apple orchard. The pears were pretty good but she wasn’t about to tell Applejack that, as she tended to be a bit snappish about having to grow a minimal amount of apple brand pears as a specialty item. Pinkie happily chewed the breakfast version of chimi-cherry-chonga's, orange juice and the blueberry muffin... she kept an eye on the muffin making sure it wasn't stolen by the blonde haired muffin pirate. You'd blink and the muffin would be gone and down that ponies stomach within seconds. Screwball's order was diced card shaped skillet fried potatos with some random small bits of vegetables thrown in, two buttered breakfast biscuits with grape jelly and two oven warm creme filled dougnuts with a light honey glaze. Screwball never went hungry with Kazooie around and she was really good at making breakfast. Nut Bat was surprisingly smiling a less creepy smile as she had her fruit salad on the side of her special spicy folded eggs breakfast. Nut Bat wasn't about to mention that she could taste the alcoholic substances used in her particular dish as Fluttershy seemed to be a lightweight about stuff like this even being near her house. Kazooie now had her interest with the alcohol laced food, she was almost willing to call her mom now. “Thanks for having us over for the night Peebs, but it’s about time me and the girls shoved on. As for you Banjo… you really need to spend some time away from Honey once in a while, so why don’t you spend a day helping Pinkie out with her problems?” After Banjo nodded to Kazooie that’ll he’ll take her advice into consideration as he hadn’t seen Pinkie in a long time, the bird turned to Rainbow Dash. “Just so you know I’m bribing you to keep quiet about my presence here, if anyone asks you specifically about me you can tell them the truth otherwise you can keep quiet and not offer up any information.” “And just why would I do that?” Even though Rainbow was currently enjoying one of the best made grilled cheese sandwich’s she would ever taste, it did not mean she had to like Kazooie even if they were somewhat friends. “Because thanks to me bribing Angel, Fluttershy now has an entire day off and Mr. Cold Spot just got back from talking to his cumulonimbus friends. You’re free to spend the entire day with Fluttershy and go on one day long date as your job has already been done for you.” Seeing the frowns she was receiving from the two mares Kazooie decided to continue on with a showy wave of her left wing as her right wrapped around the back of Rainbows neck. “Also if you don’t want to hang out with the love of your life for the rest of the day, then you’re free to find out what Banjo is going to get up to. If not you could just follow us into the Ever Free Forest, I’m not feeling up to protecting you or Fluttershy. So if you drag her in there you might incidentally get her hurt or worse. You follow us by yourself leaving her behind you could be hurting Fluttershy emotionally by getting hurt or injured yourself.” Mulling over everything Kazooie said, Rainbow wasn’t the smartest pony in the world. Even then the colorful pony understood the implied threat to just ignore the bird and whatever it was she was going to be doing or else something bad will happen. That much to Rainbow was pretty clear, if she got seriously hurt she’d be hurting Fluttershy and remembering the fact that around the time she got hooked on the Daring Do books Fluttershy would come in quite often with a worried look on her face always wondering if she were feeling okay during visiting hours at the hospital. It made a lot of sense to Rainbow now that they were together; it actually brought a smile to her face. Apparently Banjo was going to be helping Pinkie with stuff today. To Rainbow, Banjo seemed incredibly trustworthy in comparison to the insane bird; Pinkie was her friend and seemed completely calm around him. This brought back wistful memories that they used to pull pranks all the time before Rainbow discovered dating… well she only ever dated one pony and she didn’t want to date any pony else. Rainbow could say she’d immediately turn down Spitfire even if she were to walk through the door to Fluttershy’s kitchen and declare that she loved Rainbow Dash to the ends of the world. Fluttershy was her mare friend and the only mare friend she could ever want. She really didn’t see the attraction in other mares or stallions. Now that she thought about it, since Fluttershy was no long her best friend from childhood, so who was her best friend now? Applejack or Pinkie Pie… it didn’t really matter as they were both awesome friends. In consideration Rainbow would even say Fluttershy was her soul mate and that any other pony would pale in comparison to huddle up against. The final thing Rainbow could do is what Kazooie said to do, just enjoy her day as it didn’t sound like she was endangering anyone Rainbow knew personally and she didn’t put it past the beaky bird to drag ponies into a fine mess of dangerous situations on a whim. The two ponies with her were obviously good at getting out of a sticky situation given one can literally set themselves on fire without repercussion, not to mention control how much heat she gave off while in the middle of semi permanent self inflicted immolation. Fighting a giant crab monster, kidnapping Fluttershy, capturing a cult, beating Discord while drunk and earning a title as a boxing champion were some of the things Kazooie was noted for the last time she was here. Rainbow doubted whatever was going to happen in the Ever Free Forest would be all too noteworthy anyway given the epicenter of weirdness was Ponyville itself. Rainbow thought some of the things she herself did was impressive, but Kazooie really took that an extra mile by being insane while doing all the things she did. Rainbow wasn’t one to judge as all her friends and she herself were involved in crazy things on a weekly basis… she was pretty sure she heard Applejack muttering about having to go to the train station after getting the barn raised to pick up an apple family cousin. Rainbow had to bet something adventurous was to be had from the apple cousin visiting. She heard the Cutie Mark Crusaders were being watched by Applejack today as well so at least her little tail, known as Scootaloo, would be busy for the foreseeable future and not doing dangerous stunts to find her cutie mark. Rainbow sometimes worried about Scootaloo idolizing her too much. “So what do you want to do today Fluttershy?” Rainbow said almost immediately after having given it some thought. It was at this moment she noticed that three of Fluttershy’s house guests had left and only Pinkie and Banjo were still here. Fluttershy got up from her chair and shyly moved over to Rainbow. “Um… maybe…” Fluttershy leaned in close and whispered an idea into Rainbow’s ear. “Yeah, we can do that.” Throwing her right wing across Fluttershy’s back, Rainbow pecked her on the cheek and they left through the front door. “So what are we doing Jo?” Pinkie asked excitedly bouncing in place. “We should probably wash the dishes first then we need to get over to Sweet Apple Acres. Kazooie told me you could use some help with a pony named Applejack… from the way she tells it you really have a thing for her.” Pinkie paused in midair and flopped to the floor in a sad sounding thud that only she could have made as Banjo calmly started on the dirty dishes everyone had left behind. He wasn’t too worried about Pinkie’s emotional state because he was going to help get her back onto those hooves with that big silly grin in no time at all. An hour later approximately five minutes or so after eight in the morning, Banjo and Pinkie had arrived at Sweet Apple Acres where the unfinished barn from the Pinkie clone attack was still on the ground. Banjo was idly bobbing his head to the background music that reminded him of Spiral Mountain. “Guess Applejack is going to be too busy to apologize to today, she’s probably already working the orchards so I guess we can… eep!?” Pinkie tried to turn tail and scamper away only to be gripped gently by a strong paw that tugged her into the air by the scruff of her neck. She was gently pointed back to the barn “Now come on Pinkie, no putting this off. You use your cartoon powers to reach the places to nail the stuff together and I’ll get the ropes to haul the parts of the barn up.” Pinkie watching as Banjo single handedly brought up two sections of the barn up with a grunt and held the sections up with ropes wrapping up both his paws and arms. He looked to Pinkie and gave a tilt of his head to the parts of the barn he managed to get up on his own. “Oh right, hold on a second.” Pinkie quickly darted off camera for a second and reappeared with a white construction helmet, an orange vest, a bunch of nails sticking out of the side of her mouth and a golden hammer held up in her right hoof that made a tinny noise when she raised it into the air. “I caused this mess and now… I can fix it!” “You know I really missed you’re costume changes, now that you’re older they seem a bit less silly… I remember that fire fighter costume when you were that little filly and the hat covered half your body.” Sighing wistfully Banjo watched as Pinkie started to perform video game based acrobatics, bouncing of the upraised wall held up by Banjo and starting from the top of the two walls. Soon Pinkie started hammering more and more… then before his eyes Pinkie multiplied and started appearing all over the place before her movements became covered in an expanding dust cloud that covered the two sections of wall he held up. “Done, now we get the next two up, right Mr. Jo?” Pinkie said merrily hopping in place, the cartoon ability of quick building exciting her lowered spirit slightly. The next two sections of the wall went up just as easily as Pinkie’s speed building immediately had all four walls neatly secured. “How many times did this Applejack pony have this barn replaced?” The bear put a paw to his chin as he studied the almost complete structure; it was missing its roof and doors. Banjo was thinking of a way to help this barn last a lot longer than the other’s. “At least one or four times every three months, why?” The pony watched as the bear reached into the magic backpack, after a moment he pulled out several objects that looked to be paint cans. Pinkie took a moment to scrutinize what was written on the cans and she smiled brightly. “Oh, I think Applejack is going to like this. Video Game stuff always works as advertised doesn’t it?” “Yep, figured a coat of that stuff might go a long way, I’m not one to judge what my sister was going to do with this much of it though. I can still feel a few hundred thousand more cans of it in there.” Smiling Banjo rustled Pinkie’s mane as he walked past her towards the side of the barn to get a better look at what they had to deal with. “Now let’s get that stuff out after we’re done figuring out how we’re getting that roof on the barn. So do you have any ideas?” “Yep, I’m going to do a scene transition!” Yelled Pinkie with a hop and a twirl, the scene faded to black as Pinkie landed. My little pony, my little pony… I used to wonder what friendship meant to me and then I met a bunch of my past friends that were like my family! Big adventures and tons of fun, bear and bird are crazy but they certainly get along. Spiral Mountain was full of kooks and they came to this world with happiness that can scare away that which spooks! Yeah, my little pony, don’t you know that this transition will now end? The scene faded back in and the barn had its roof in the right place and Banjo was just finishing up the installation of the doors on the barn, he was holding it in place so that the hinges can be hammered in by Pinkie. “Well that felt strange, but whatever we did to get the barn’s roof where it needs to be obviously worked.” Shaking his head while chuckling, Banjo looked to Pinkie shucking her vest and hat to reveal a different set of clothing underneath. As Pinkie removed her vest a painter’s smock unfolded out from under it and she had an orange beret on her head upon removing the white protective helmet. She pulled a paintbrush out of her mane and then grabbed one of the cans. “Yep and now it’s time for painter Pinkie to make the barn last longer than normal… you sure that using this stuff won’t backfire spectacularly in any given way?” Pinkie suddenly asked as she had a gut feeling about this, she didn’t know it was a bad or good feeling. Her Pinkie Sense tended to go askew or it didn’t work to well when in relation to Video Game characters, it still worked perfectly fine in reference to everything cartoon related and especially the world which she was born it. “I’m not Kazooie Pinkie; I’m not going to do something stupid or dangerous unless I really have to. Besides I apparently read the entire label during the transition, it’s perfectly safe to use on the barn we just finished setting up on our own.” Thankfully Banjo didn’t have muscles to strain or worry about; even then there was only so much he could do with his physical strength. The bear was happy to have aided Pinkie in her apology present and that they had managed it record time. Ten minutes to set it all up. “You better be ready to head to the train station to pick up Cousin Babs by the time we’re done… setting… up…” Applejack stopped shouting back to her little sister as she and several other ponies that were walking towards the barn stopped and their mouths opened in awe. Applejack ears had even tilted back in confusion and she flicked her tail slightly in agitation. After a moment of taking in the barn she finally noticed the bear with its arms crossed standing off to the side with a blue backpack that seemed familiar watching something. Turning her gaze to see what the intelligent bear that probably knew Fluttershy was watching, she saw that Pinkie Pie was at the door and doing the finishing touches on the paint job. “Pinkie, what in the hay? How did you manage to get the barn up?” Even her several cousins and Big Mac were a bit perplexed and wanted to ask that question themselves. “You didn’t do this all by yourself, did you?” “No, of course not silly, I had a little help from Banjo here. I’m so sorry about the mess I caused yesterday Applejack. I’ve learned my lesson about taking things one at a time and I came here to make it up to you.” Pinkie approached Applejack shucking her paint splattered smock and beret, all of which had disappeared and no pony saw where it went to. It caused a bit of confusion among the other ponies that saw it and Applejack just shrugged the oddity off as Pinkie being who she was. “So what do you think?” “Are you sure that barn is sturdy?” Applejack asked suddenly, she nodded to the stallions to test the structure. “Is that bear one of Fluttershy’s friends? Why is he wearing yellow shorts? Also can someone tell me who’s playing that banjo music? It’s actually pretty catchy like the stuff cousin Fiddlesticks can play.” The stallions conversed among themselves and then they had Big Mac buck it, the barn didn’t even shudder or wobble at all. Big Mac however shuddered as he slowly lowered his slightly paralyzed legs. “Eeyup that’s solid alright.” Big Mac finally said after a moment before sitting on his butt rubbing his poot hind legs with a pained look in his eyes. He and the other apple clan ponies soon entered the barn; they still need to inspect some parts of the inner structure. The barn was pretty much done otherwise. “In order, Banjo just met Fluttershy this morning, because he likes them and I think that music is coming from Banjo. I wouldn’t bother him about it as he likes it and I really don’t think he’s willing to put a mute on it.” Pinkie was hopping in place right next to Applejack. “So do you forgive me, huh? Please say you forgive me and that maybe you’ll still give me slices of apple pie at our picnics when all our friends get together? Please just say you forgive me.” “Well you certainly cut our work load in half for the day, also there’s nothing to forgive.” Applejack brought Pinkie into a soft hug before she quickly let go. “You’re a good friend Pinkie, now I have to go tell Applebloom that we can go to wait on her cousin right now. I really dread having to deal with the crusaders though, they can cause more damage then you did yesterday with half the effort.” Watching the blonde pony trotting off, Pinkie sighed wistfully staring at the well muscled flank. Pinkie also looked at the bound golden blonde mane and the even little bands that held it and her tail back. Pinkie even thought the hat was the main feature of the entire ensemble that was the farm pony. “You always did like yellow or golden colors… so that’s your special… what was it Kazooie called it again… somepony?” Not trusting her voice Pinkie nodded to Banjo, he smiled goofily at the pink pony and once again ruffled her mane. “I’m happy you have someone special… what’s wrong? Oh no you don’t, now tell old Banjo what’s gotten into you kitten.” Pinkie tried to scamper off when Banjo asked her what was wrong, only she got picked up and hauled into Banjo’s lap where he held her in a tight if friendly embrace. Pinkie couldn’t frown when being held by Banjo, though her smile could have been bigger. Pinkie wasn’t escaping the bears gentle yet ridiculously powerful hug unless he let her go. “Well… You remember what I told you about coming from a rock farm the first time I appeared in Spiral Mountain?” Banjo nodded, he remembered that day quite well when he and Kazooie took Pinkie in. They even promised her a way back home and fulfilled it. “Yeah I remember Pinkie; it did take Humba a while to create that portal… so what happened with your family?” Banjo always wondered if Pinkie got home alright. “They were really worried about me, they may be a bit boring and have dull jobs but they went to a lot of extremes to find out where I went missing.” Pinkie snuggled into Banjo’s tight grasp getting comfortable. “That’s not what I wanted to talk about at all you know it, you’re trying to distract me to make me happier. Sad thing is it almost worked, but I can’t get distracted about something like this! It feels like I have heart burn and I can’t drop enough ice on it to cool it down.” “Can’t blame a bear for trying can you? Kazooie really missed you when you left; you added some extra color to our world. In hindsight we really shouldn’t have let you have those crayons after giving you all that sugar.” Laughing the bear slowly let go of Pinkie and she sat down next to the sitting bear. In the shadows watching the two a pair of bright intelligent eyes watched the bear interact with the pink pony that once sung of enchantress’s. “So what was the point that you were trying to get to about your home at the rock farm?” “Oh right, anyway rock farming is a boring and thankless job, but Applejack… she makes farming for apples fun! It’s one of the reasons I really like her, aside from being blonde, honest, well muscled and sweeter than half a dozen cupcakes. I bet she could make even rock farming seem fun, she certainly made cherry farming an adventure.” If one was to look at her and Banjo was at the moment, you could see little ethereal hearts floating off of Pinkie’s head and a quick black bug like pony creature flew by scooping them up greedily with a smile. Banjo didn’t have the heart to say anything about the strange creature that flew off excitedly holding onto the ethereal hearts. “I’m having problems getting her to like me the way I like her. Mostly because she’s down to earth and normal, while I’m spastic and out there, I don’t think she’s interested just because I’m me.” “Pinkie, nothing good ever came of not being yourself unless you want to make a lie a reality. She doesn’t hate or dislike you does she?” Taking a moment to wait for Pinkie to shake her head no, Banjo decided to continue. “Now what’s the problem? Why haven’t you gotten a fishing lure and a net to catch her with yet?” “She’s got a big crush on another one of our best friends Banjo; it’s really kind of hard to compete with Rarity in a beauty contest unless you’re Fluttershy.” Looking to the ground Pinkie started to swirl her left hoof in the dirt. “Its hard being me all the time, every pony I meet expects me to be happy and hyper. Hyper is not a problem for me, but happy? I can get excitable and nothing makes me as happy as making others happy, but this situation is a time I’ve wanted something so bad when most of the time I’ve wanted for naught but others happiness.” “Watch out Pinkie, I think you may start waxing poetic.” Banjo muttered in an amused tone. “Why do people always talk about waxing poetry? Goodness knows Twilight would get mad at me if I started using wax on her books.” After a moment of consideration Pinkie shook her head rapidly, she was being led astray and off topic again. “Stop causing my mind wander all over the place Banjo, I’m trying to stay focused on what’s important!” “Sorry, I’m used to verbal jabbing thanks to going so many rounds with my sister.” Though his sister would never admit it, Banjo was the smart one of their duo and could talk Kazooie down if he really needed to. You’ve never had a brother till you’ve had a bear as one, in this case Banjo decided to give a bit of wisdom to his favorite pink pony. “Pinkie you need to pull back and enjoy what you have already, you only need to be yourself around her and just gently prod her about spending some quality time together. Maybe talk to her about the idea of maybe one date; I’m not as good as Kazooie is at setting this stuff up. Anyway who’s this Rarity and why does Applejack like her so much?” “Oh, well Rarity is a dress making pony. She’s really good at it and she’s always doing stuff with her appearance and Applejack really likes her… only problem is, Rarity’s straight and I mean Kazooie confirmation kind of straight.” Pinkie waited to see the shocked look on Banjo’s face because the information certainly shocked her, instead he just yawned. “Well then what do you have to worry about? A Kazooie confirmation is kind of worth its weight in gold, I should know as I have to live with her gloating about being right. She’s eventually going to let Applejack down gently when she finds out about it.” Pinkie just stared at Banjo making him feel uncomfortable. “What did I say?” “How did you know Rarity doesn’t know about Applejacks feelings?” Pinkie tilted her head in confusion. “That’s easy, I doubt Applejack has ever approached her because she knows that she won’t get her affection returned to her in the same way like you. Applejack knows you like her given how she hugged you briefly, she didn’t return your affection for her but she didn’t say no. I’m guessing she’s unwilling to talk to Rarity about her feelings, because she’s afraid of finding out the honest truth.” After a moment of rubbing his left paw under his chin Banjo looked Pinkie in the eyes. “We need to get them to talk about this with each other or Applejack might pine after the Rarity until she finds Mr. Right which will break her heart later rather than sooner. Kind of like how Kazooie pines away for the lackluster love life she has and is still leading which she covers up by adventuring and doing insane stuff to keep her mind off it. Her adopted daughter Screwball is just another thing to keep her mind off that cloying call to find love herself. I have yet to see any being that could be a match for Kazooie and I know the feeling of seeing someone being torn apart by feelings they want to share with someone so don’t think your exclusive in this as I think Applejack is going through the same thing you are. You’re not alone Pinkie, your friends will always be there for you right here.” Pinkie looked sadly to the ground; her Pinkie Promise to Kazooie was still hovering in the back of her mind. Banjo had a goofy sounding voice, but no matter how silly his voice or his mannerisms he was definitely wise. Reaching up with a hoof she moved the pointed claw Banjo had hovering over her heart and moved it up to her head. “I want to be okay here too Banjo.” She wanted to be alright with just being friends with Applejack if things never panned out, her friendships were very important to her aside from her feelings for the apple farmer. “I believe I can help you be sound of mind, if you’ll tell me some things in kind.” Both Banjo and Pinkie jerked at the sudden voice speaking up behind them, looking to the zebra that snuck up on them. “Kazooie is definitively the name of a friend I’ve heard before, now what can you tell me of what’s going on I do implore. Why is it that you carry her magic sack? She would hardly ever remove it from her back.” “Oh, um… hello there my names Banjo and Kazooie is my sister. She left me to hold onto the backpack for a while and your right she would hardly ever trust anyone with it other than those close to her heart.” Rubbing the back of his head with his right paw he held out his left in a friendly gesture, the zebra calmly shook his paw with a hoof. “I hope my sister didn’t do something too awful to you upon meeting you, we kind of had a problem in the past with a being that rhymed horribly. She was a witch and we crushed her under a boulder… I think his name was Tom. Didn’t kill her and she attacked us with a time traveling robot or a metal golem if you’re confused about terminology, it was infused with her spirit. After beating that she broke free of the boulder as a skeleton and tried to drain all the life out of our world, so you can imagine why Kazooie might have been a bit skittish around you at first.” “Worry not for she didn’t treat me as a detestable evil spawn, however I could have done without her interference on the date I went on. My name is Zecora it is nice to meet you bear, you have an aura about you that is friendly and fair.” The zebra gave the bear a friendly smile, before she continued on. “You’re sister is good at seeing what’s in the heart, unfortunately she doesn’t seem to know when to stop or start. You may need help with Applejack in coming clean, she is honest and almost never mean. Pinkie my friend I will help where I can, even though Applejack wants Rarity while Rarity wants a man.” “Well gee; thanks for the offer Zecora, what did you have in mind exactly? Other than that me and Kazooie have taken up residence with a few of our friends in the Ever Free Forest, she said we were next door neighbors to the token zebra in the area. You’re the only zebra I’ve seen so far so...” Leaving that hanging in the air Banjo waited for a response. “I now have some new next door neighbors? I hope Kazooie doesn’t expect me to do her any free favors. Yes I’m the only zebra that sadly is near; now let’s lend some aid to Pinkie here.” Smiling Zecora was only happy to help Pinkie out with her task, she was dating Applejack’s big brother after all it wasn’t that much to ask. Here Applejack had a pony that was smitten, maybe she took a nibble once and then became twice bitten. “Well if you’d think it will help.” Pinkie had a hopeful smile on her face. Elsewhere, riding a train for Ponyville Cadence stared out the window. “Why am I doing this again?” Sighing wistfully, the princess of love and tenderness hoped the Crystal Empire could survive without her for a few days. Cadence heard of the pie related ruckus Kazooie had caused with Pinkie, she also heard that Twilight needed some comforting as apparently she and her friends had been attacked. Celestia sent for her since she herself was incredibly busy, Luna was currently halfway around the world and as for her she really wasn’t doing much except signing documents and waiting while the plumbing was installed in every building in the Crystal Empire. The novelty of bathing in anything other than hot springs and just relying on the crystal heart to keep them disease free in the relatively unsanitary conditions was a thing of the past quite literally. It was a good thing the crystal ponies liked the idea of toilets and the new modern conveniences that sprung up over the last thousand years, what they weren’t happy with was Celestia and Luna not stopping the curse from happening otherwise Cadence had their approval rating at a hundred percent and they’ll follow her even if she didn’t know how to run an empire exactly. If anything Shining was actually running it for her until she could successfully be the dress of the relationship. Judging by the very description of the pony that had left Twilight alongside her friends bruised and slightly battered, Kazooie’s involvement was a forgone conclusion. Since they have an alliance, she would need to talk to Kazooie about being a bit less aggravating if they are to continue being allies. Cadence wondered why she even bothered being a princess, she really didn’t care all that much for royal titles and being among nobles. She was a mare of the people, she liked helping the orphans and caring for fillies. If she were to follow the ways of the nobles that were attempting to run Canterlot, she’d swear that inbreeding would become an Equestrian state sport, foals would be living in much poorer conditions and… wait… foals… didn’t she once see Screwball on the streets in Canterlot? Cadence remembered Kazooie saying she adopted Screwball… but right off the streets? No paperwork to speak of, well she’d have to ask miss adventure herself about it when she found out where the bird went. Maybe she should have paid more attention to Celestia’s rant about the world’s worst headache that would hopefully never return to Equestria. The train had to take a junction from Manehatten to Ponyville, so it would be around noon before she could start comforting Twilight and get on the trail of Kazooie. She wanted to know why Twilight and her friends deserved the bumps, bruises and pain they were dealt by Kazooie’s assassin friend Nut Bat. Getting off the train Cadence saw Applejack alongside the Cutie Mark Crusaders greeting a pony; she just shook her head and decided to go comfort Twilight. Seeing those little fillies reminded her of the time she spent taking care of a smaller Twilight who was so adorable, she loved babysitting and missed taking care of children even more now. She wasn’t ready for her own yet and was at least glad that she made sure to use protection after Kazooie spiked her food with bananas, even with a mentally hazy mind she wasn’t stupid and was still responsible for an entire empire first and foremost. She could wait to have one... or seven... at least eighteen little foals pattering around.