//------------------------------// // Court Fizzle // Story: Blueblooded Torture // by Cytotoxin //------------------------------// It was a bit chilly in the Town Hall, Blueblood noticed with some detachment. Then again, maybe it was just him. Ever since his brush with surgery, Blueblood have had been quite sensitive to the temperature, particularly so to one lower then he expected. In any case, he had no business to be shivering right now. The impromptu court room did not impress him much. The plaintiffs, even less so. Book Thrower had been seated behind Mayor Mare`s lectern, which was cleaned out for the occasion. Class Action was standing off to the side, her expression inscrutable as she eyed her opponents. An earth pony of stocky build, she had a reputation in legal circles for being efficient but unscrupulous, commonly resorting to publicity stunts and shuffling of the facts in her favor. "And who might you all be?" - she inquired after a second or two of disdainful inspection. As instructed, Applejack took the point, giving the lawyer, the judge and the inventor brothers a curt nod. "Ah`m Applejack. Yew send me that there summons." - she rasped, brandishing the letter - "Let`s git this farce over with." If Class Action was phased by farmer`s disdain, she did not show it. "Fascinating. And you all...?" - she drawled, gesturing at the small crowd of ponies behind Applejack. Blueblood took a step forward and bowed - "Good day. My name is Civil Act, attorney at law, and I will be representing miss Applejack. The ponies behind me are immediate family and friends of miss Applejack and I may be calling upon them to witness about the events of the case in question." While he spoke, the rest of ponies quietly dispersed over the hall, taking seats in no particular order. He walked over to the judge, standing at the opposite side from Class Action, and gestured Applejack to take her place at the defendant`s table. "Just a moment, mister Act..." - Blueblood expected the lawyer to try and raise objection, of course, so when she began, he was already passing the binder to the judge. "Those are my credentials, documents confirming my legal right and engagement to represent miss Applejack and my opening statement." - he proffered, smiling thinly at Class Action. The primary point of this little performance was to psyche out the mare by letting her know the defendant had the time to prepare. Book Thrower opened the binder and skimmed through it briefly, issuing then - "Everything is in order, yes. Very well, mister Act. You are hereby formally recognised as miss Applejack`s solicitor by the court." Class Action glared on both of them, obviously less then pleased with the situation. "I`m going to state for the record that this is highly irregular." - she proffered tersely - "This is merely a civil dispute, not a criminal case. Is there some reason why you are keeping a solicitor on such a short call, miss Applejack?" Orange mere merely stared at her impassively, before offering "Nope." flatly. "Ahem. Class Action, your opening statement, please." - ordered the judge, slamming the gavel down, - "The court is now open to hear the case of FlimFlam brothers vs. Applejack." Bowing slightly, lawyer mare stepped forward. "I will be brief, your honor." - she began smoothly, casting a venomous glance on Blueblood, - "Two months ago, my clients, the esteemed inventors Flim and Flam have been visiting this town on a business venture. While in Ponyville, they`ve been contacted by the defendant with the intention to solicit their services in promoting Sweet Apple Acres cider. Unfortunately, the proprietor of the aforementioned farm refused to deliver their payment upon the successful completion of the promotion act. Therefore, we seek to be reimbursed for the profits lost and the court expenses, plus a fee for damaging my clients` good reputation and undermining their business." Blueblood could have sworn he heard Applejack choke on air soon after Class Action started talking. By the end of the speech, apple farmer was visibly fuming. Obviously enough, if not for Blueblood`s tutoring the day before, she would be yelling at the "dirty liars" by now. And likely, ending up slapped with contempt of court even before the debate began. Thankfully, that much was already accounted for and prevented. Now to deliver a counterattack. Clearing his throat, Blueblood began - "From our side, we do posit that no promotion was sought from plaintiffs, nor any promises of payment given - written or oral. Furthermore, we do posit that the lawsuit directed at my client is a malicious slander and we do seek fees for damaging my client`s reputation." Class Action immediately jumped into action, interjecting crisply - "I object! The extent of this case is solely to determine the payment owed by defendant to plaintiffs, nothing more." Blueblood expected this much and parried with a smile - "I`m afraid it`s not quite as simple, as we do question the veracity of the case to begin with. Insofar, our assertion is that there was no contract between plaintiffs and defendant to conduct any kind of promotion and we do expect the plaintiffs to provide the proof of such arrangement existing if we are to discuss any kind of fees and reimbursements attached to aforementioned arrangement." Book Thrower harrumphed from his lectern. "Perhaps the defence could get to the point?" - he offered irritably. Prince tilted his head to look him straight in the eye. "Is there a case to speak of, your honor?" - he proffered nonchalantly - "Or is it just a fabrication of plaintiffs from the start to the end?" That, apparently, managed to shock the dismissive judge into rapt attention. "Let me get this straight." - he offered slowly - "Defence insists that there was no contract? Do you have any proof of this?" Blueblood scoffed. "Your honor, the burden of proof lies with the plaintiff." - he reminded patiently, - "Semper necessitas probandi incumbit ei qui agit. If they failed to present any, may I suggest throwing this case out and calling it a day?" He could see Book Thrower being torn between two opposites. On one hoof, it`s highly likely Class Action have had the time to give her version of events to the judge convincingly enough to make him think it`s merely a formality. On other hoof, when presented with opportunity like this, he was obviously sorely tempted to take Blueblood`s advice literally. "...Very well." - judge offered finally - "Plaintiff is to present the evidence towards the existence of business relationship between the plaintiff and defendant." Class Action visibly choked back some kind of retort. Blueblood strongly suspected it began with 'I object!' and ended with case being thrown out. She turned around, gesturing at the inventor brothers irritably. "To begin with, I`d like to present the testimony of my clients." - she proffered tersely, nodding to Flim and Flam, - "Please, describe the events that lead up to the promotion, if you will. Briefly." An extra emphasis she put on the word 'briefly' amply suggested she was well aware how wordy her clients can get, and couched them on what to say and how. "If your honor permits...." - began Flim, -"We are inventors of some renown. Maybe you have had heard of Flim and Flam before." Flam continued - "We travel across the country, proffering our technical expertise in less populated areas." - Are your honor can imagine, rural burgs rarely have a surfeit of technology... - So we had a semi-regular income making our rounds fixing and building all kinds of agricultural machinery. - As it happened in Ponyville, where we were asked by the proprietors of local orchard to build... - A cider-making machine. - Initially, we did not expect much more then a simple exchange of currency for machinery... - But as it turned out, the orchard made it an advertisement point that all of the cider was hoof-made, and... - Wanted to underline that by staging a contest between pony and machine. - Obviously, we`ve been told to make sure the machine did not win... - Which we achieved by staging a malfunction that dropped the quality of machine-made cider sharply... - Thus promoting the hoof-made cider`s superior quality. - However, the proprietor of the farm here... - Used the substandard quality of machine-made cider to... - Incite the crowd against us, thus... - Tarnishing our reputation and... - Leaving us without promised pay. As the unicorns finished their tale, Blueblood heard a faint choking sound from Applejack`s general direction. Her face, normally as orange as the rest of her, had turned curiously maroon. He could`ve sworn he can see steam wafting out of her ears. It was highly likely the whole tale was one big lie from top to bottom. Still, she kept her composure, even if it was patently obvious to everyone present that she was forcibly restraining her anger. Obviously, Class Action tried to needle her further with - "Something`s the matter, miss Applejack? You look like you`re about to have a stroke." Blueblood moved to intervene quickly. It was not in his best interests to allow Class Action needle Applejack with impunity - while farmer could be surprisingly resilient to barbs and jests, if given the reason to be stalwart, even she had her limits, and Class Action would be sure to try and surpass those limits, if left to her devices unchecked. "An interesting testimony." - he proffered glibly, smiling at the lawyer mare - "I assume defence has no objection to me cross-examining it, no?" "As a matter of fact, I do object." - Class Action stated forcibly, - "There is no reason to treat my clients as if they are the ones on trial." Prince`s smile turned decisively shark-like as he addressed the judge - "I would like to remind the court that defense's assertion was that the case was fabricated by the plaintiffs from stem to stern. With that in mind, defence does posit that cross-examining this testimony is of paramount importance." With a heavy sign, Book Thrower slammed his gavel again. "Objection overruled." - he stated tersely - "Defence does have a need to cross-examine the testimony in question. Keep it brief, however. Tangential and unrelated questions will not be tolerated." "Very well." - proffered Blueblood, his smile unchanging - "According to the testimony given by the plaintiffs, they were asked to build a cider-making machine. I`d like to ask some clarification on this, as this event, according to the testimony, is the factual beginning of presumed business relationship. Who had asked you to construct the cider-making machine? Where and when did that happen? Would you happen to have some documentation or other evidence of this event?" Class Action slammed her own hoof on the table, grinding out forcefully - "I object! This question is clearly unrelated to the case in question!" Blueblood merely shrugged. "Defence objects to this objection, your honor. We maintain that this event, according to the plaintiffs, is the factual start of asserted business relationship. As such, it`s a vital part of the case in question." - he offered calmly. Book Thrower proffered tersely - "Objection sustained. I do not see the point of this inquiry." Blueblood nipped his lip. That was unusually flippant by the judge. He had a clearly established reason to inquire. Time to get nasty. "According to the civil court codex, any question pertaining to the contested business relationship is considered important, unless it infringes on trade secret or somehow involves a third party unrelated to case in question." - he retorted, regarding the judge coolly - "Your honor has a reason to risk a possible investigation on ethical conduct, perchance?" "Are you threatening me, mr. Act?" - inquired judge, his voice dangerously low. Blueblood snorted - "Do I have the need to? You`re presiding over the case against the bearer of an Element of Honesty. Given the importance of Elements to Equestria, you can be certain the details of this case will be graced by the attention of princess Celestia herself by tomorrow, at the very longest. To put it bluntly, your honor, you`re already under close scrutiny. If I were you, I`d do every little thing by the book." Given the shocked face of Book Thrower, he was quite unaware of the identity of defendant beyond her name and profession. "...A bearer?" - he quipped faintly, taking a sip from his glass of water, - "...I see." His posture had abruptly changed at the news. Class Action, on the other hoof, was obviously privvy to the actual identity of the defendant, and she did not miss the dirty look the judge shot her either. "I OBJECT!" - she shouted loudly - "This is not the Dark Ages, mr. Act! Social stature of the defendant has no bearing on the case." Blueblood smirked - "You are quite right, indeed. It does, however, have an impact on the social visibility of this case. Surely, everyone involved would want to give their one hundred and ten percent effort to the case that`s likely to be heard about throughout Equestria, no? Off the record, I`m quite aware that courts sometimes tend to cut the corners where appropriate... However, on a case with such a high visibility, it would be inadvisable to stray from the protocol, even with the best intentions at heart." He heard a little gasp from behind himself. Twilight Sparkle? Well, she would be just a little bit miffed about his assertion of courts not doing it by the book, indeed.