Strange Bedfellows

by BRBrony9


A Royal Visit

Muzzle Flash watched the EAS Baltimare lift off slowly from the meadow, its propellers whirring as it spun ponderously towards Canterlot. On board were the human Captain, Soren, the human that carried the large communications device on its back, and a very peculiar specimen dressed in flowing red robes who appeared to have extra limbs growing from his back. Also on board were Shining Armour and the six young mares he had met in the town square, along with their dragon. The rest of the humans remained in the meadow, gathered around their flyers in a defensive formation and forming a makeshift camp. The Royal Guard company still lined the trees, forming a defensive screen between the aliens and the town. They would remain there until they received word that the diplomatic negotiations had been concluded.
The Baltimare had been chosen instead of the Celestia because the latter was simply too big to land safely, even in the fairly large meadow. Muzzle Flash watched as it powered into the sky, heading for the Equestrian capital to the north. He noticed that the humans were following it intensely, as if probing its capabilities and weaknesses. It drifted away behind the rooftops of Ponyville, and Muzzle Flash was left alone with his thoughts.


‘Fascinating, Captain. My spectroscopic analysis indicates that this dirigible appears to be using a buoyant gas hitherto unknown to Imperial science. This gas appears to be vastly superior in its lift efficiency to the gas mixtures used in Imperial aerostats. Based on precise length, width and density calculations, I would estimate that this gondola masses approximately…’ Magos Kallistos rattled off a string of facts and statistics that Captain Soren could have cared less for.
‘By Imperial standards these weapons appear primitive,’ he continued, indicating the anti-air guns on the top deck of the airship, ‘but my calculations indicate a 87.45% probability that they are capable of penetrating the armour on a Marauder bomber, a 96% probability that they are capable of penetrating the armour of a Lightning or Thunderbolt fighter, a 32% probability….’
‘Yes, thank you Magos,’ Soren said. If his face were not mostly metallic, Soren thought, he would have an expression of glee on it. Like a drunk in a brewery. Amongst strange Xenos schizo-tech, the Magos was in his element. The airship’s pony crew were regarding the three humans with a mixture of wonderment and suspicion. Casting his eye over them he noticed that some had wings, some had a horn, and some had neither. He wondered what the purpose of the horn was, and if the wings were functional. At the other end of the deck were a cluster of brightly-coloured ponies, and what appeared to be some kind of large lizard. They were significantly smaller than the airship crew and the Royal Guard he had seen, and their features looked somewhat softer, with more rounded muzzles. Females, perhaps? Or children?

The airship drifted past the two other similar craft that were holding station north of the town. Soren noticed that one of them was considerably bigger than the other. While its size and power was miniscule compared to the capital ships of the Imperial Navy, Soren could sense that it exuded power and purpose nonetheless. Beside him, however, the Magos was more interested in its precise technical specifications.
‘Most interesting. That larger vessel. My scans indicate it to possess a gas envelope length of nine-hundred sixty two feet, a gondola length of four hundred fifty feet, a…’
‘Magos, with all due respect,’ Soren interrupted. ‘We do not need to know the technical data of every one of these airships we see. By all means collect this data, but you do not need to share it with us at the present moment.’ Soren could almost here the cogs working in the Magos’ brain, or what was left of it.
‘Very well, Captain,’ he said. Soren turned his gaze from the airship to the town that was slowly receding behind them. The buildings looked fairly primitive; small, wooden structures for the most part. By contrast, not far north of the town and nestled neatly in the hills there, was an enormous dam, holding back a vast reservoir of water. Soren could see a small cluster of buildings at its base. The Magos soon switched his attention to this new structure.

‘This dam appears to be constructed of a material very similar to our own ferrocrete,’ he began. ‘I am detecting electromagnetic emissions that suggest it is being used to supply power to the surrounding settlements.’ Perhaps these ponies are skilled at something other than airship building, Soren thought.
‘Sir, the Lightnings are at bingo fuel and are returning to orbit,’ his vox-trooper, Hanlon, said. Soren took the proffered handset and spoke briefly to the lead pilot. The two jets roared past the airship, rocking their wings in salute. Soren noticed the entire pony crew watching them in awe as they pulled into a vertical climb and ascended into the deep blue sky, disappearing from sight until they ignited their orbital injection engines, blasting two fiery trails across the heavens.

The airship rumbled on and soon the town was gone from his sight. The officer-pony, Shining Armour, approached him.
‘Captain. We will be arriving soon. Might I suggest that you address the Princess as Your Highness, and speak only when spoken to,’ it said. Soren nodded.
‘As you wish,’ he said. Ahead he could see a remarkable sight- a city that seemed to be built perched on the edge of a mountain. Its towering spires and buttressed walls reminded him of one of the grand palace-fortresses of Holy Terra that he had seen depicted in works of art countless times. As the airship drew closer to it, he could make out more and more detail. Gold-capped domes atop purple spires put him in mind of the armour of the pony commander standing in front of him. The architecture was beautiful; simply stunning. Delicately latticed bridges connected wide boulevards of polished stone, lined with white marble buildings. A grand, ornate arched gateway stood at the head of the main road to the city that wound its way up through the foothills like a snake. The gate itself looked for all the world like it had been cut straight from the outer walls of the Imperial Palace of Terra itself, and transported to this place. The golden spires of the city, towering above the rest, glowed like burnished beacons in the sunlight.

The military man in him could see, however, that this city was not all style over substance. It was easily defendible- it could only be approached from one side by ground troops, situated as it was on a plateau with sheer drops or sheer walls on every other side. The crenellated outer curtain wall looked sturdy and was studded with artistic facades that he instinctively knew concealed gun ports and firing slits. The streets were wide enough to allow large units of troops to march in formation. The tall towers offered excellent visibility, and the approach road was flanked on both sides by small structures that were probably well-camouflaged bunkers. Whoever built this place knew what they were doing, he mused. On the plateau outside the city walls was a landing field, where airships similar to the one he was travelling on were moored. This was where they seemed to be heading.

Soren could hear the airship’s Captain shouting orders, and he watched the pony crew spring into action, carrying out the tasks necessary to prepare the craft for landing. While he watched, he gave himself another mental slap.
This is absurd. They’re horses. And yet here they are, on a planet at the edge of the galaxy, about to land an airship they apparently built themselves, outside the gates of a city they built themselves, and talking to each other in Gothic while they do it. The regimental psychologist will have a field day with this.
He pinched himself to make sure he was not imagining the whole thing as the airship began to descend. Ponies tossed mooring ropes over the sides.. His mouth fell open in slack astonishment as several of the winged ponies took to the air and dropped away to take charge of securing them. They do actually work, then!

‘Most peculiar,’ Magos Kallistos said. ‘By my calculations, their wings should not be capable of supporting their body mass unaided.’
‘Then your calculations must be wrong, Magos,’ Soren replied. The Tech-priest turned away muttering to himself.
‘Perhaps they possess a certain degree of gravity-nullifying technology, like that of our shuttles…’
On the landing field ahead, Soren could see a flying pony waving fluorescent bats to guide the airship to its berth. He heard the note of the airship’s engines change as they slowed, then thrown into reverse before finally cutting off as the airship’s nose made contact with the mooring mast. Within moments it was tied fast and the ropes dangling from the side had been secured to weights on the field below. With a gentle shudder the gondola came to rest on the ground. The purple-armoured pony approached them again.
‘Welcome to Canterlot,’ it said simply.



Up close, the city was even more magnificent than it had seemed from the air. Soren was led through the city by Shining Armour, with the Magos and Hanlon in tow, escorted by a squad of Royal Guard with steely expressions on their faces. Ponies in the streets gawped at the unusual sight that passed them by.
Ahead of them Soren could see a towering complex of high towers and battlements that he assumed must be the palace that Shining Armour had referred to. Another set of ornate, golden gates barred their path. Guards with spears flanked it. They saluted as their commander approached, and the gates began to grind slowly open. Winged ponies fluttered between the spires of the city like birds in a forest.

This is a most peculiar place, Soren thought to himself as the gate swung open. Shining Armour led the escort party inside. Crossing an ornately manicured lawn, the group of ponies and humans approached the palace doors. Soren could feel a strange sensation, almost like he had downed a couple of drinks. He felt a strange mellowness enveloping his brain. Something about this place…what Xenos sorcery is this?
The Magos had no natural brain to speak of anymore, but Soren could tell that Hanlon was experiencing the same sensation. He was looking all around him in wide-eyed wonder.

Shining Armour led them through the door. The interior of the palace was just as ornate and magnificent as the outside. Tall, high-vaulted ceilings but him immediately in mind of an Imperial cathedral, and the effect was enhanced by the winged ponies that flitted about above his head, like the cherubim that floated around in Ecclesiarchy buildings dispensing incense. Soren noticed pairs of Royal Guard stationed every few hundred feet down the corridor.
The military pony led them through another set of doors. They emerged into a wide corridor, richly carpeted and lined with equestrian statues carved from fine marble. Another set of doors, even more ornately carved that the others, stood at the far end. Soren noticed the Guard squad that had been accompanying them stopped here, leaving Shining Armour to lead the humans further by himself. At the doors he stopped, and spoke in hushed tones to the two ponies that guarded the portal, their spears crossed in front of the doors. After a moment, he turned to Soren.
‘Wait here,’ he said. ‘I will speak to the Princess first.’ The guards opened the door and he slipped through, before it closed sharply with a loud bang.

Soren took the time to admire the palace’s architecture. The walls were polished marble, as was the floor and the statues, which were exquisitely carved. The guards regarded them with suspicion, especially the Magos, whose face was hidden under his hooded robes. These guards did not carry the rifles that he had seen those in the field with; their spears were their only weapons. Ceremonial, he thought. Obviously no intruder is expected to make it this far.
Several minutes later, Shining Armour emerged from the ornate doors.
‘You may enter now,’ he said to Soren. ‘Princess Celestia will see you.’


The room beyond was even more spectacular than the rest of the building. Huge stained-glass windows with intricate designs and patterns let brilliant shafts of multicoloured light play across the room. Velvet banners hung from the walls. A thick red carpet ran the length of the hall, from the door at one end where he was standing to the ornate throne at the other.

The throne itself was a masterpiece of design. It was shaped roughly like a circle at the base, with a second, smaller circle stacked on top, and then a final one atop that. The red carpet ran up the front of the throne to the pinnacle. It was constructed of metal and finished in gold. Soren was immediately put in mind of the Golden Throne of Terra, before wondering if that was blasphemous. Each circle was ringed with fine golden filigree. It took Soren a moment to see that the lowest level of the throne was also a water feature. The clear liquid flowed over the side and collected in pools either side of the throne’s base. Soren had never seen such a remarkable construct. Nor had he ever seen such a remarkable creature as that which sat atop it.

It was, as he had expected, a pony like the others. But it appeared to be considerably larger, even though it was sat on its haunches. Like most of the military ponies he had seen, its coat was a glossy white. But its mane and tail were unlike anything he had ever seen. They seemed to be floating as if possessing a mind of their own, and they glowed and sparkled with an ethereal, phantasmal radiance. They did not seem to be composed of hair so much as starlight. It seemed like something the Eldar would conjure up. Its face reminded him of Eldar, too. It was to the other ponies what Eldar were to humans- more graceful, more…beautiful, if that was the right word. It had both a horn and a pair of wings, both of which were larger than those on any of the other ponies he had seen. It wore a collar of gold with a large purple gem in the centre, and on its head it wore a golden crown encrusted with jewels that reflected the same green, blue and purple hues as its tail.

‘The humans, your Highness,’ Shining Armour said, standing to one side and gesturing with a hoof. Soren stepped forward, noticing with not insignificant trepidation the ponies that lined the walls. Unlike the ones at the door, these ponies were fully armed, their guns in their hooves and held at the present.
Stopping at a respectable distance from the throne, he saw the Princess stand. She was at least as tall as him, and her horn added another foot or so onto that. Unsure of how to proceed, and mindful of Shining Armour’s advice, he reacted as if he were meeting the Lord-General, snapping to attention and saluting sharply. The pony Princess stared down at him.

‘Welcome to our planet, human,’ it said, its voice soft and feminine yet forceful. ‘Who are you?’
Soren let his hand drop to his side, holding the position of attention as he spoke.
‘Your Highness, my name is Captain Soren, 4th Hydraxian Regiment, Imperial Guard. I come before you on behalf of the Imperium of Man to offer you tidings of peace.’ The Princess bowed her head slightly.
‘If you come in peace,’ she said, ‘why did you kill my subjects?’



Soren answered her question as best he could, explaining what he had heard over the vox from the Lightning pilots.
‘Your Highness, our aircraft merely acted in self-defence. They were fired upon, so they returned that fire. Would you not have wished your own forces to act in the same way?’
‘Indeed I would,’ she replied, meeting his gaze. ‘Which is why I am puzzled as to why they fired first.’
‘I cannot speak for your men,’ he said, before realising his mistake as the Princess raised an eyebrow. ‘For your…ponies,’ he corrected himself. ‘I can merely surmise that they thought they were under attack by our…unfamiliar aircraft.’ She did not look convinced.
‘For what it is worth,’ he continued, ‘you have my deepest regrets over the loss of your airship and crew. It was a tragic accident, Your Highness, and my purpose in seeking an audience with you is to prevent any more such incidents. The Imperium of Man wishes to begin diplomatic negotiations with your species.’ She looked somewhat taken aback.
‘And what, pray, is the Imperium of Man?’ she asked, raising an eyebrow again. Soren explained as succinctly as he could.

When he had finished, she looked positively shocked.
‘This Imperium sounds like a truly vast place,’ she said. ‘What does it want with us?’ Most of it would want you dead, he thought but did not say.
‘The Imperium wishes merely to expand its western border into uncolonised space,’ he said, trying to make it sound like anything other than the direct truth. ‘As your planet lies along this border, we wish to investigate the possibility of diplomatic negotiations with you in order to accommodate the needs of your people with the needs of ours.’ She pondered for a moment, looking for the hidden meaning in his words and finding it immediately.
‘You mean, you wish to discover whether we would stand in the way of this expansion?’ she said, though her gentle voice contained no trace of anger.
‘That is part of it, of course,’ he said, knowing there was no use in disguising the naked truth any longer. ‘Most of the Imperium would consider alien life to be…expendable,’ he said. Before he could continue, she interrupted him.

‘Would you agree with them?’ He hesitated. Before making planetfall here, he would have said yes without question. But something about this place intrigued him, and what was more, something about it confused him in equal measure. The strange feeling of inner calm he had experienced most acutely since entering the palace did not help his judgement, either.
‘No, Your Highness,’ he said, feeling the eyes of his vox-trooper and the Magos boring into his back, though he knew they were both as intrigued by this place as he was.
‘At least, not all alien life.’ Even as he spoke, a distant voice somewhere inside him told him that he had just committed heresy against the Emperor and should be shot. But another, louder voice was telling him that it was the right thing to say.
‘The vast majority of alien species humanity has encountered among the stars are unceasingly hostile toward us,’ he continued. ‘They must be hunted down and exterminated without remorse and without hesitation. But there are some races that are peaceful, that are of no threat to mankind. It is these species that we have made diplomatic entreaties to in the past. I sense that, despite our welcome this morning, your species is one of the latter.’ The Princess stared straight at him.
‘And do you have the authority to make such decisions?’ she asked.
‘Truthfully, your Highness, no. I am merely an envoy, not an ambassador. The man who would have to make such a decision on behalf of humanity is my Lord-Admiral. He is in command of this…expedition.’ He made sure not to use the word Crusade. The Princess nodded slowly.

‘You may tell your Lord-Admiral,’ she said, ‘that your suspicions are correct. We have no wish to bring hate or mistrust between our two races, and we have no desire to go to war with you. We have no space-faring capability, therefore we are of no threat to your Imperium even if it were in our nature to be so.’ Soren breathed a mental sigh of relief. The eager triggers of both human and pony alike had not destroyed the possibility of peace here.
‘Yes, Your Highness. It pleases me to hear this,’ he said, ‘for I have no desire to see such a beautiful place come to harm.’ Soren thought he may have seen the faintest flicker of a smile begin to form at the corners of her mouth.
‘I trust you are aware that we are not the only species to be found on this planet.’ The Princess spoke again.
‘Yes, Your Highness. I am aware of this, though I do not know the precise details,’ he replied.

‘Although ponies are the dominant species here there are numerous others to be found. Some of them are our friends, and some…’ she hesitated. ‘Some are not. There are dragons, Diamond Dogs, Griffons, zebras…’ Soren was more confused by each name she spoke. Dragons? Why, they were a myth, as were Griffons, although he had heard the Lord-Admiral’s report on the other contact team. Zebras were also an ungulate relic from ancient Terra, and Diamond Dogs, well, he had no clue on that one.
‘I take it you do not speak for them all, Your Highness?’ he asked.
‘Indeed I do not. Some of them have nation-states of their own, and some do not. I may well be able to convince our allies to agree to an arrangement with your Imperium, but the same cannot be said for our enemies.’
‘Then perhaps we could come to an agreement over that, as well,’ Soren said.
‘I was not asking for military assistance,’ the Princess countered. ‘I was merely informing you that not all of this world will be necessarily as receptive to your ideas as we are.’
‘I understand,’ he said. ‘I must ask, Your Highness. Something has been puzzling me.’
‘Yes?’ she said questioningly.

‘You refer to yourselves as ponies. Ponies very similar to you are a species that were native to mankind’s homeworld, Terra. Now they are raised on many worlds across the Imperium, but nowhere do they display the kind of intelligence that your kind possesses. They do not speak and they certainly do not form societies and nations. Forgive my impropriety, Your Highness…but, where did you come from?’ She looked taken aback at his revelation.
‘We…originated here,’ she said. ‘We have always lived on this planet. Pony history stretches back several millennia.’

Only several? Soren thought. Then it is always possible…perhaps a Rogue Trader, or an Explorator Fleet, could have reached out this far and seeded this world, perhaps even terraformed it themselves. Maybe they are not Xenos after all.
The Princess was about to continue when she was interrupted by a burst of static and then a voice.

‘Captain, this is Lieutenant Jonas. Do you read, over?’ The guardsponies lining the walls stepped forward menacingly, their weapons swinging up to cover the three humans as the voice blared seemingly from nowhere.
‘Your Highness! This is merely a communications device,’ Soren said. ‘It is my subordinate. I left him in charge of our landing site.’ The Princess nodded, and the guards lowered their guns.
Soren took the handset and spoke.
‘Lieutenant, what’s the situation back there?’
‘Our landing site is still secure, sir,’ came the reply. ‘We received a message from the fleet. They received a signal from the other first contact team that they were being attacked and overrun. The Lord-Admiral has authorised combat operations in the continental north immediately.’

‘What?!’ The Princesses’ distressed cry made Soren look up.
‘Wait one, Lieutenant,’ he said. ‘Your Highness, we deployed two first-contact teams. We are the first- the second landed in the north of this continent. They reported meeting creatures that I assume are the Griffons you referred to. Apparently they have now been overrun by these creatures, and so our leader has authorised the use of force against them.’ The Princess’ expression softened slightly as she learned that her own subjects were not the target.
‘Please ensure your leaders know that we are of no threat to them,’ she said. ‘We seek only a peaceful existence.’
‘Of course, Your Highness,’ Soren said. He spoke to his Lieutenant again.
‘Lieutenant, inform the fleet immediately that the ponies are not a threat to us and are not to be engaged. Tell the Lord-Admiral that they wish to continue diplomatic negotiations through him at his earliest convenience.’
‘Yes sir,’ came the curt reply.
‘Keep me informed of any further developments. Soren out.’ The Captain replaced the handset and turned back to the Princess.
‘Forgive me, Your Highness,’ he said. ‘Our leaders will be informed of your decision immediately. If you would permit me to remain in this city, I can act as a liaison between them and yourself.’ She nodded.
‘Very well, Captain. I am most thankful that you were not so quick to act against us as against the Griffons.’
‘There is much conflict in this galaxy already,’ Soren replied. ‘I have no wish to add to it through a misunderstanding.’
‘Most admirable, Captain,’ the Princess said. ‘Let us hope your leaders are similarly wise.’