Apple of My Eye- Ch. 29
Mares About Town
AKA- All’s Fair in Love and War… Except Cheating
As far as ways to hide from everypony went, Pinkie had to admit that her hide-in-a-box strategy was in the top three. Just behind the highly acclaimed bale-of-hay-in-a-trench-coat, and above the fake-nose-glasses-and-moustache disguise. Why, at that very moment, she found herself sporting a very stylish cardboard box that used to hold a shipment of taffy, and nopony was the wiser. How did she know it used to hold taffy? Well if you really must know, it’s because it was one of the twenty-two boxes that she had stashed away throughout Ponyville (in case of disguise emergency), and it was the only one of the bunch that had horizontal stripes in hot pink along the sides. Which was kind of funny when you thought about it, you’d think that the first place that everypony would check if they were looking for Pinkie would be in something that had pink in it or on it. But so far, this had proven to be one of her more effective boxes. So maybe there was something to that saying about hiding in plain sight? She didn’t know, and she wasn’t about to think too much about it. She had bigger things to think about. Like her plans to build a portable device that was part taffy puller, part party cannon, and part calculator.
……What was she doing again?
I think we were supposed to be spying on somepony for Rainbow…
Oh yeah! Good job brain!
No problemo. Just be sure to keep quiet so nopony notices you.
“Got it!”
“Did y’all hear something?” Applejack asked, looking around the main room of the Town Hall. “Ah coulda sworn it sounded lahk Pinkie Pie…”
Ah phooey… we were talking out loud again instead of chatting inside our noodle…
Guess so. My bad.
It’s okay, if they start to come over here, we’ll just hide further down the page when the scene changes, then come out and make a run for it.
Ooh! That’s a good plan!
Thanks!
No problem at all.
“I don’t think I heard anything…” Orion said, looking around the mostly empty room. “I mean, this is a pretty open building too, so if you heard anything AJ, it might have just been somepony talking in one of the other rooms.”
“Hmmm… Ah still feel lahk we’re bein’ watched… it’s weird, kinda lahk when Granny used ta watch me an’ Big Mac playin’ outside. Even if we went over a hill or two, she still knew exactly what we were doin’…” Applejack responded, walking around the room, trying to remember where she heard the sound coming from. “And Ah’d rather be a bit paranoid than risk some crazy mare stealin’ ya away so she’s got a date fer Hearts and Hooves Day… it ain’t the safest a times right now fer a single stallion in Ponyville.”
“Yeah… I got the message the first few dozen times…” Orion said wryly.
“Hey now, don’t you go and get smart with me. It’s bad enough Ah gotta put up with Mac mouthin’ off when nopony’s watchin’, Ah ain’t gonna put up with it from you too… ya hear?” Applejack said, her tone changing from a friendly one to one laced with danger while giving Orion the stink eye
“Yes Ma’am…” he said, gulping. “So wait… if it’s such a dangerous time for guys around town, what does Mac do?”
“He usually avoids town when things get crazier than normal… trouble lahk’s ta find him anyways when the odd mare decides ta go huntin’ him down, so he just kinda goes with an ‘outta sight, outta mind’ approach…”
“Uh huh…. And that doesn’t worry you at all?”
“Course not. It’s only natural… After all, polygamy’s been illegal fer ages, and even Ah’ll admit that there ain’t many stallions lahk you or Big Mac.” Applejack said, her eyes bugging out as she realized what she just said.
“Wait… you put me in the same category as Big Mac?” Orion asked, catching the slip up… for once…
“Uhhh… well… Ah mean…” AJ floundered, wracking her brain for an escape plan.
Just tell him now while it’s just the two of ya! Her brain yelled.
Ah can’t do that! Not after telling him about how we’d help him… that’s just selfish!
Better you than some other crazy mare! At least you’ve spent time with him. Besides, ya already kissed him when he was a mare, may as well try while he’s a stallion.
What if he says no? Ah mean, we’re not a Princess, and we can’t fly with him lahk Rainbow can… that’s hardly fair to him…
Yer also the only one that took the time ta talk to him more than anypony else… besides, ya owe it to yerself ta give it a try at least.
“Hello? Equestria to Applejack… you still there?” Orion asked, waving a hoof in front of her face.
“Huh? Oh, right… well… yeah Sugarcube… Ah mentioned you and Big Mac cuz uh… ya both live on the farm and yer single…” she fibbed, her nose crinkling like the untrue words had left a bad taste in her mouth.
“Huh… I guess that’s true… well, I’m sure that with you watching after me, I’ll be fine.” Orion said, either not noticing AJ’s less than confident words, or choosing to ignore them. In any case, the apple farmer couldn’t help but be endeared to the silly Pegasus.
“Well… honestly, that’s not all Ah wanna tell ya Orion…” Applejack said, shuffling her hooves in an uncharacteristic show of uncertainty.
“Oh? What’s on your mind Applejack?” he responded, a look of genuine concern on his face.
As she opened her mouth to tell him about her feelings for him, Luna burst through the doors to the Mayor’s office, causing Orion, herself, and the box nearby to jump in fright.
“We shall remember that, and visit you then!” Luna said loudly, the din hurting the ears of every living thing within a twenty yard radius as she made her way over to where AJ and Orion were sitting.
“Uhhh... Ah’ll tell ya later.” Applejack said, her self doubt taking the first available opportunity to run away from the situation. “So Luna, how’d things go with you an’ the Mayor? everything workin’ out alright?”
“Oh yes! She was most helpful in answering my inquiries. Now, we wish to go to the bank, in order to further our endeavors.” Luna answered, grinning happily.
“Well... I guess we’d better get going then, huh? The bank’s on the same block as the realtor’s cottage.” Orion suggested, turning to walk out the door and tripping over the box on the floor, a muffled ‘ouch’ coming from the cardboard.
“Sorry about that.” he said, apologizing to the wounded container.
“No problem.” the box responded, “Just make sure you look behind you before walking.” the box responded kindly, rather high pitched for an orange container, but who were they to judge?
“Will do.”
Their apologies out of the way, the trio tromped out of the building and set off down the road to the bank.
“......Did it strike anypony else as odd, that that orange box was talking to Orion?” Luna asked, once they were roughly a block away from Town Hall.
“Nope. That’s just Pinkie Pie tryin’ ta be sneaky... she pulled the same stunt last Nightmare Night tryin’ ta sneak by Big Macintosh ta get at the bowl of candy he was guardin’.” AJ answered, blowing a rogue lock of blonde hair out of her face.
“…… Does she do that a lot?”
“Not really… she kinda goes through these phases though. Not really sure why. Most folks just roll with it til it all blows over…” AJ replied nonchalantly, leading the group down the road to the bank. “So Luna, Whatcha gonna be doin’ at the bank?”
“Just getting some funds out of my old account… it turns out that I have quite the sum available, and it occurred to me that a vacation is usually a good time to splurge.” The Princess responded, humming to herself as she walked down the path, oblivious to the fact that about half the ponies they passed were standing stock still and gawking at the Alicorn practically skipping through town.
For the most part, their journey through town was rather pleasant. There was the occasional wolf whistle, but Orion gave no indication of having heard it, despite Applejack glaring at the offending mares in the surrounding crowd. It wasn’t just Orion getting this treatment though… it seemed that the few stallions they passed were always surrounded by no less than three mares. The only ones that seemed safe were Mr. Cake, and Cranky… but even then, their wives were stuck to them like glue…
“Huh… Mr. and Mrs. Cake seem happy today.” Orion observed, scrunching up next to Applejack as they squeezed through the crowd.
“Uhhh… yeah… well, Ah think Pinkie said somethin’ about their anniversary comin’ up soon… so that might have somethin’ ta do with it.” AJ answered, trying not to think about his flank pressed into hers.
You’re thinking about it now
…Horseapples…
“I never said that silly. Their anniversary isn’t for another one hundred and twenty five days!”
“Gah!” Orion shouted, jumping into the air and clinging to a nearby lamp post. “Pinkie! Don’t do that! You almost gave me a heart attack…”
“Sorry Orion, I was just saying telling Applejack that she has the wrong date for the Cake’s anniversary.” Pinkie said, giggling at her friend’s reaction. “And if I were you, I’d get down from there pretty soon unless you want to get swarmed.”
“Swarmed?” Orion asked, confused.
“Hey there big guy! You gonna hang there or are ya gonna give us a show?” a voice called out from a nearby stand crowded with mares. All of which were staring at Orion and looking… hungry…
“Oh… that…” he said, laughing to himself uneasily as he hopped down from the pole and tried to cover his face with a wing.
“Whoa there stud, no need to be shy… why not just trot that plot of yours over here and let us get a better look at you?” another mare called, this one sporting a light tan coat and straight dark blue hair, whistling as Orion flushed red.
“……What’d you just say ta him?” Applejack asked, her voice dangerously low as she made her way over to the stall.
“I was asking that stunning stallion to give us a show. I mean, just imagine those wings spread out and covering you while he’s on top… Or do you got a problem with that?” the light colored Earth Pony mare replied nonchalantly, winking at Orion before turning back to Applejack and looking down her muzzle pretentiously. “Don’t try and tell me you’re going to say that that fine feathered flank is yours?”
“He ain’t somethin’ ya can own!” Applejack seethed, butting heads with the pale mare. “And Ah ain’t gonna let some two bit nag get away with thinkin’ she can!”
“Oh I might be a nag to you, mule, but at least if he ruts me he won’t end up with some inbred offspring like he’ll get from you!” the stallionizing Earth Pony shot back, raising a hoof and pushing AJ off balance.
“Alright, that’s it!” Applejack shouted, jumping to her hooves and slamming into the mare, sending her tumbling into her little group of friends, the more intelligent of which had already vacated the area and blended in with the crowd.
As the two mares began trying to grapple for dominance, bucking each other as hard as they could when the opportunity presented itself. As quickly as the two mares traded blows however, a streak of light blue trailing a flash of bright colors, a pink blur, and the deep blue glow of Luna’s magic shot into and around the fray, pulling the two brawlers apart as quickly as the fight began.
“Calm thyself Applejack!” Luna said forcefully, putting just a touch of the royal Capslock into her words. “That mare may be acting uncouth, but that is no cause for thee to stoop to her level...”
“Ah don’t care! Ah’m gonna give her what she deserves fer talkin’ ta Orion lahk that!”
“Do you not see that somepony else is already doing just that?”
It was at this point that AJ stopped struggling long enough to see Rainbow Dash pinning the mouthy mare to the ground, a wall of ponies circled around them as Pinkie ran crowd control.
“Think Applejack...” Luna hissed in her ear. “I know that you wish to protect Orion, believe me... but this is not the way...”
It took another minute or so, but finally, the orange mare had calmed down enough for the Princess to release her.
“Ah’m gonna get Orion out of here...” she said, walking away, glaring over her shoulder at the other mare pinned to the ground. “If you ever say anything lahk that again... Ah’ll wait til Rainbow and Luna ain’t around ta deal with ya...”
With her warning heard, Applejack turned and forced her way towards the throng of ponies, making her way to Orion, who was standing uncomfortably at the inner edge of the crowd next to a protective looking Pinkie. With the help of Pinkie helping to clear a path, Applejack and Orion walked out of the crowd and off to a side street. Once her friend was safely out of the way and Pinkie had given the all clear, Rainbow leaned in close to the pale mare on the ground and whispered her own warning in her ear.
“If I ever see you near him again... no pony, no Princess, and nothing you can possibly think of, will keep me from making you regret this day... understand?” she hissed, locking eyes with the unfortunate soul that had dared to raise her ire.
“A-alright... I won’t go near him... J-just get off of me you crazy mule...” the Earth Pony replied, fear shooting through her and causing her to visibly shiver.
“Alright, everypony clear out, nothing to see here...” Rainbow barked, looking around as she stepped off of the shaking mare, shooting the crowd a venomous look. “Go back to what you were doing...”
No sooner was Rainbow ‘suggestion’ heard, than the crowd began to suddenly find the nearby shops and stalls interesting again. There was one small group of stallions though, that went up to the prismatic Pegasus and wanted to thank her and Applejack for handling the mouthy Earth Pony mare.
“Thank you so much for finally knocking some sense into her!” one especially grateful young stallion gushed, his lime green coat tinging red as he hugged Rainbow quickly. “And… can you tell your friend that I thought it was… really cool… when she stood up for her friend… and if she wants to sometime… well… I’d really like to get to know her a bit better…”
“Uhhh, sure… you’re welcome… I think… And, not trying to be mean or anything, but I think that she’s got her eye on somepony else. But I’ll tell her you said so.” Rainbow said evasively, craning her neck to try and see where exactly Applejack and Orion had wandered off to. “Look fellas, I’m flattered, really, but I gotta go.”
Brushing past the small wall of stallions, Rainbow pressed on up the street, her eyes scanning the surrounding alleyways and side streets, oblivious to the fact that she was being followed.
“......Are you looking for Orion and Applejack as well?” Luna said from behind, startling Rainbow Dash and causing her to spin on the spot.
“Geez Luna... you are way too good at that... and yeah, I am... did you see where they went?” she answered, shaking her wings out in an attempt to smooth her now ruffled feathers.
“I should be able to track Orion, at least, through the earring he’s wearing.” Luna answered, looking over the heads of the ponies in the crowded thoroughfare. “And I would be willing to bet the kingdom that Applejack is there with him...”
“... You can track him through an earring?”
“Yes.”
“... And that doesn’t strike you as, I don’t know, creepy?”
“No.”
“...... Yeah, alright, just do your magic whatever and let’s find them before they get up to anything.” Rainbow said, deciding not to push the issue.
Luna lit her horn up, a small ball of light sprouting from the tip of the spiral protrusion and bobbing along up the road as the Princess of the Night turned and followed.
“Wait for me!” Pinkie said, bouncing over the crowd. No, she literally bounced over about three ponies. It would have been an Equestrian Record, but the records committee had long since placed a ban on the pink pony and blacklisted her file. The only given reason was a small note inside the front cover that had been written by the first Record-Checker and it simply rambled on for a page and a half about physical impossibilities, otherworldly geometry, eldritch horrors at play in the mortal realm, loss of sanity from observing Pinkie Pie too long , and a very well worded plea for his mother and a glass of warm milk.
“Oh right! Pinkie, thanks again for telling me where they were going to be going.” Dash said gratefully. “Any chance you can find them faster than Luna’s magic tracker thing?”
“Nope. Sorry Dashie, but that trick doesn’t really work except when it’s for maximum comedic effect...” Pinkie answered, shaking her head.
“......You know what, forget it. Lead the way Luna...” Dash said, resigning herself to the slow pace of the magical-bouncing-bubble-thing and following anxiously... She’d never admit it to anypony, but a huge part of her just couldn’t let go of the fact that Applejack had been there to defend Orion’s honor while she was following him like a... well, like a stalker...
You can’t beat yourself up about it... Pinkie Pie told you where they were going, and you were being nice, giving them space... it’s not your fault that you only realized there was trouble when they started fighting.
But I should have been able to tell there was something wrong... I was too focused on Orion, and nowhere near focused enough on everything else that was going on. I was following them in case something like this happened! I was supposed to be able to sweep in all cool and stuff, and nip it in the bud and sweep Orion off his hooves...
And you showed up and played the cool headed friend that saved Applejack from getting into trouble with the law, and still defended his honor, even if he wasn’t there to see it. You helped protect him in the future! That’s got to be worth something...
“Yeah... I guess you’re right...”
“Did you say something Rainbow Dash?” Luna asked, looking over her shoulder curiously at the distraught looking Pegasus.
“Huh? Oh... no. I didn’t say anything.” Rainbow said dismissively, shaking her head.
“Very well then... Oh, and just between the two of us, I do not believe that you could have handled that incident any better than you did.” Luna said , looking back ahead and following the bouncing light up a side street that lead the small group in a roundabout way towards the library.
“Why would they be heading this way? the bank and the realtor’s cottage is the other direction...” Rainbow muttered to herself.
“Maybe they wanted a change of scenery. I know that I do sometimes when I get bored of the bakery, then I just swap it out for the marketplace backdrop or the library backdrop or the apple farm backdrop or the-”
“Pinkie!” Dash said, cutting her off with a hoof in her friend’s mouth. “Please... not now... In case you missed it, I’m bit strung out right now, and I really don’t need to try and wrap my head around the fact that you’re using the word backdrop like all those places in town are just pieces of scenery in a play...”
“It’s more like a show... but alright Dashie.” Pinkie said, extricating her mouth from around the cyan hoof and smiling brightly.
“……Not even going to ask…” Rainbow said, shaking her head and turning back around to follow Luna… and bumping squarely into the royal plot. “What the- Luna! Why’d you stop?”
“Because we are here.” Luna answered simply, looking back and gesturing at the Golden Oaks Library in front of them while trying not to laugh at the distracted Pegasus.
Rainbow Dash huffed in annoyance as the Lunar Princess knocked on the door.
“How many times do we have to tell people that it’s a public library during the day?!” an agitated voice from inside said, the sound of heavy steps on hardwood flooring getting closer until the door was opened, allowing the three mares to walk inside.
“Oh. It’s you three. I was wondering when you’d show up…” Spike said, his face changing from one of annoyance to one of pleasant surprise, leaning his head down slightly so that he was eye level with Luna, smiling invitingly. “Me and Twilight were wondering when you’d find your way here.”
“And why might you two be wondering that?” Luna asked curiously, making her way to a couch and settling down, leaving Pinkie to strangle Spike with a hug and Rainbow to stand just inside the threshold anxiously.
“Well, when Applejack and Orion showed up, we figured that you’d have some way to keep track of him, and Rainbow’s, well… Rainbow… when it comes to him.” Spike said, shrugging as he spoke, as if this information was common sense. “As for Pinkie… Twilight kind of gets this twitch whenever she’s on her way to the library… happens with Rainbow Dash too now that I think about it…”
“Spike! I do not get a twitch when they come over here… I just start moving the older books to the floor in case anything slams into the tree…” Twilight said, frowning at her not so little assistant as she made her way down the stairs. “Sorry about that, I was upstairs trying to find something. I assume you’re here looking for Orion and Applejack?”
“Yes Twilight Sparkle, we are.” Luna said calmly, trying not to giggle at the thought of her sister’s favored student preparing for her friends like some ponies did for an earthquake.
“Well, they’re in the kitchen with Fluttershy right now. Angel was alright, so she came here to have tea, and AJ and Orion just kind of showed up. I’m still not a hundred percent sure what happened, but Applejack did NOT look happy…” Twilight answered, leading them to the small kitchen in the back of the library. “I think they were starting to talk about it just before you all showed up…”
“She really said that to him? Oh my… I don’t think I’ve heard anypony talk like that in public since flight camp… and she ended getting into a fight with the colt’s fillyfriend.” Fluttershy’s voice said, the sound bleeding through the walls and into the hallway.
“She’s lucky Rainbow and Luna broke it up or Ah’d’ve done worse than rustle her feathers… Ah wanted ta break a hoof off in her scrawny flank ta be honest…” Applejack’s said, her tone doing more than enough to convince anypony listening that she was serious about her description of the fight.
“Oh please Applejack… it couldn’t have been that bad. I don’t think whatever she said really made it through to me in translation. Although, I do have to wonder why everyone keeps using the term flank or plot when they’re angry… I mean, everypony’s naked anyway, so what’s the ham in referring to certain pieces of anatomy?” Orion said, looking between Fluttershy, AJ, and the group of mares that had just walked in.
“Look Sugarcube… Ah get that yer from this mysterious place way far away… but some things are universal. Fer one, ya never use certain words when yer talkin’ to a fella, and there’s some things ya just don’t call a mare when she sticks up fer her stallion.” AJ tried to explain calmly, sighing as she tried to explain something that was so ingrained in her character.
“She’s right Orion… I mean, I’ve never used those words, even when I’m just describing somepony… but even I know what they mean and why you should never use them…” Fluttershy added, looking over a steaming cup of tea at her grey friend and blushing. “I mean… I f I were to ever say some of the things that that mare did…. Well… I’m pretty sure that Big Macintosh would never talk to me again…”
“But what do they mean?! Why does somepony talking about my flank or my wings or my ANYTHING mean anything when I’m walking around town almost all the time completely naked?!” Orion asked, his voice rising in volume as his confusion started to reach a head and he spun around in a circle in the middle of the kitchen, trying to get a better look at his hindquarters and inadvertently shaking them in the direction of every mare in the room… “I mean… ‘stud’ I kind of understand from what I know of Equestrian dark age history… but the rest of it makes no sense.”
“Look big guy… think of it this way…” Rainbow said, stepping forward and trying not to look directly at the wiggling piece of plot that the grey Pegasus was still waving around. “You remember when you got preened? Remember how sensitive your wings were?”
“Yeah… but what’s that have to do with anything?”
“Well… preening isn’t the only time that Pegasi use their wings… they’re actually pretty common things to focus on for anything pleasurable… and well, because there are less males than females, and stallions usually have larger wings than mares, it’s kind of a… hot switch… and one that you don’t usually talk about unless you’re in a relationship, and even then, not in public.” Rarity volunteered
“……So it’s like talking about sex stuff then?” Orion said, trying to understand, and inadvertently causing Fluttershy to choke on her tea.
“Right. That’s what the wings part means… especially the way that she was talking about your wings and having you on top of her… that was just so… uncool… I’m amazed she didn’t get smacked around more…” Rainbow noted.
“She woulda if y’all had let me teach her a lesson…” AJ commented, glaring at a small plate of celery and peanut butter that was on the table for snacks.
“……So wings mean sex… I thought they were just to show protection or show off that you were single… but okay. So what was she talking about my flank for? Is it the same as a plot?”
“Orion, dear…” Rarity said, coughing to interrupt the stallion, her alabaster coat looking closer to Cheerilee’s coloring “Plot is simply not a term that one uses in polite company… and it means almost the same thing that flank does. The only difference is that flank means specifically the area around the rump… plot is used for a much more… southward piece of anatomy… and it’s actually more offensive, especially to a stallion, and especially given how she was talking about your wings.”
“… Wait… you mean that plot is talking about my…” Orion said, flushing and looking downwards awkwardly.
“I’m afraid so Orion…” Twilight confirmed, shaking her head, “I’ve never seen anyone use the term outside one of Cosmare’s issues, but the fact remains that it’s not a word that one should ever use.”
“Besides, it’s a word that some Meany McMeaner Mare’s use to make themselves feel like they own the stallion they’re talking about… in fact, the phrase originated from about the time of early dark ages, and it was something that was used to make the stallions feel dirty and unworthy, so that they’d be too ashamed with themselves to try and do anything outside of their usual workload in the fields, or try to run away from abusive mares…” Pinkie said, surprising everypony in the room with her seemingly encyclopedic knowledge.
“Uhhh… Pinkie Pie… how did ya know all that?” Applejack asked, the first one of the group to get over her shock.
“I came over here once to get Twilight’s opinion on a party theme I was working on, and she said to wait, so I read whatever was around, and there was a book called ‘The Super Helpful Guide to Understanding Super Naughty Words’ sitting out on the table.” Pinkie said simply, smiling and bouncing over to hug Orion, then bouncing back to her seat on the other side of the table near Twilight. “I also saw this one part of the book that had the pages stuck together right on the pages about ‘Saddles, Bridles, Crops and Bits’.”
Now it was Twilight’s turn to choke on her tea, Fluttershy having seemingly contented herself to sit in silence as her face kept growing more and more rosy-hued with each shift in the conversation.
“You okay there Twilight?” Orion asked, trying not to laugh too loudly at the spit take.
“I… I’m fine Orion… Pinkie, we need to have a talk about what is and is NOT appropriate reading material in the Library…” Twilight gasped, clearing her throat of any residual tea.
“Well, okay Twilight, but it wasn’t my book that was out on the reading desk. You know, that thing that only you use…” Pinkie replied, rolling her eyes and smirking.
“Th-that… That doesn’t mean anything!” Twilight squeaked, starting to slide under the table out of embarrassment.
“Uh oh, Twilight, are you trying to sneak a peek at Orion? You should know better than that.” Rainbow teased, grinning broadly and nudging the grey stallion in the withers. “I mean, sure, he’s not all emotional and timid like a bunch of stallions are, but I’m still not so sure that he’d take too kindly to a peep show.”
“I can look out for myself…” Orion said, gritting his teeth slightly.
“Ah, sure ya can big guy, but we gotta do our thing as mares, ya know?” Applejack said, nuzzling him while giggling, “Besides, never met a fella yet who didn’t lahk a pretty mare or three defendin’ his honor fer him.”
“Well what about me?” Orion said, now glowering, “What if I don’t want my honor defended? What if I want to be independent?”
“Ah shucks. Ya can still be independent. We just wanna be there ta help ya go about yer business without getting bothered by mares lahk Twilight there.” AJ continued, laughing and pointing a hoof at the purple Unicorn.
“Oh relax silly.” Pinkie said, appearing behind Orion and hugging him. “We can give you all the space you need. And if anything comes up, then Luna can just use that crystal ring to find you and be right there to help.”
“What?!” Orion said, shock and fury on his face and stopping everypony around the table from joking. “You mean you can track me with this earring?!”
“Well… yes… but it is simply meant to be used in case you get kidnapped or something, and the creature inside you has a possibility of escaping… it’s for your protection Orion…” Luna tried to explain carefully, fully aware of the minefield they were now all in after Pinkie’s words spilled out.
“So you knew?! No, that’s not it… you USED IT to find me when AJ took me here! Didn’t you, Princess?”
“I… I only used it to help cut down the time we would have spent trying to find you two… we would have found our way here eventually… it just helped speed up the process… I promise…” Luna replied sadly, cringing as she heard Celestia’s tone from all those years ago making their way out of her lips.
“She only did it cuz she was worried about ya sugarcube…” Applejack said, jumping to the Alicorn’s rescue, “It ain’t lahk she didn’t have a good reason… we were both lost as far as they were concerned, and we hadn’t said anything about coming here. Hay, we didn’t know where we were goin’, but Ah just wanted ya away from that crowd, and Ah was gonna come ta blows with that mare if Ah’d’ve stayed.”
“So that makes it alright?!” Orion exploded, spinning and glaring at the orange pony. “If I’m out of sight for too long, it’s considered okay to use a freaking tracking spell to find me? Am I just too irresponsible, too naïve to be trusted on my own? Hay, while we’re at it, why not just assign me an escort while you’re at it! I can be shuffled along from my home to work and maybe, if I’m good, I’ll be allowed out on weekends or evenings! Since I obviously can’t be trusted to handle myself for FIFTEEN BUCKING MINUTES, because some random mare says something that ruffles YOUR feathers!”
At his outburst, everypony at the table visibly cringed, and in Pinkie’s case, it actually looked like she’d deflated slightly… or at least her hair had…
“Look Orion, nopony’s sayin’ that ya can’t handle yerself… we’re just sayin’ that it wasn’t somethin’ ya shoulda HAD ta put up with, and Luna and Dash were concerned cuz they couldn’t find ya after it happened… now quit getting’ mad at us cuz we’re trying ta look out fer ya, and calm down. Please…” Applejack said, steeling her resolve and trying to keep a hurt bite out of her voice.
“No Applejack. You could have gotten hurt, or arrested, and there wouldn’t have even been a good reason!” Orion retorted, trying to keep his voice down, but still managing to sound frustrated and angry. “But because the MALE possibly got his feelings hurt, everypony flips their shit!
“No good reason!?” Applejack said, practically exploding and slamming her hoof on the table as her voice cracked. “Don’t you go tellin’ me yer not a good reason! Ah don’t care what kinda place ya came from, and Ah don’t care what anypony told ya when ya were livin’ there, but around here, around me, defendin’ you from a nag lahk that is a buckin’ good reason ta get in a fight!”
“Language!” Twilight reprimanded, interrupting everyone as she hit her breaking point, poking her head out the kitchen doors and speaking to Spike, who was sitting right outside the door, “You did NOT just hear those word... understood?”
“Which one? ‘Buck’, ‘hay’, ‘shit’, or ‘nag’?” Spike replied sarcastically, chuckling. “Honestly Twilight, I’ve read worse in your ‘private’ collection in the basement…”
“Gah! Don’t talk about those books in front of the Princess! Applejack! See what you did?!”
“Ah relax Twilight, I’ll let you all have your privacy. I need a nap anyway…” Spike rumbled, trying to keep a straight face as he turned around and wandered back to the cool of the fireplace.
“…Sorry Twi… Ya know Ah don’t usually talk lahk that, but this fella’s being stubborn as Fluttershy’s pet when he don’t get his fancy salads…” AJ said, glaring at Orion, who was looking away and glowering at the table.
“Okay… everypony clearly feels that the situation should have been handled a bit differently, why don’t we all just take a breath and try to discuss it like adults?” Fluttershy suggested weakly, trying to keep her voice as level and calm as possible for the sake of easing the tension in the room.
“Sorry Fluttershy, but I’m going to stop you right there… I’ve tried telling everypony how I feel like an adult should. But everypony in this room keeps trying to smother me and keep me in this little padded thing of safety. And you three are the worst.” Orion said, gesturing at Luna, Applejack and Rainbow Dash. “I’m an adult, but right now I feel more like an infant than an equal, and I’ve been taking care of myself for years besides. Besides, Ponyville, even at its worst, is still safer than where I came from.”
“Fer the last time, we ain’t tryin’ ta smother ya Orion… if ya’d quit bein’ so bullheaded and stubborn, and just accept that this is the kind of thing friends do fer each other, then-” Applejack began to say, cut off by Orion while the rest of the group stared on in shock at the two quarreling ponies.
“Then what, AJ? I’ll start to just accept having my life controlled? To have somepony else in charge of me and my wellbeing? Come on Applejack, you were just saying that that mare was talking to me like I was a thing to be owned. So why the buck are you acting the same way?”
“Ah… Ah didn’t… Ah wouldn’t…” the orange mare stammered, thrown for a loop and looking to her friends for assistance, only to see that almost all of them were looking at the floor guiltily. “Orion, Ah’d never-”
“I know you wouldn’t Applejack… but do you realize that that’s how it feels? I understand why to some extent. I still screw up a lot of the time with the social cues and things… and I don’t always understand when someone’s actually harassing me, as opposed to just being friendly or poking a bit of fun at me… but I don’t want my life to turn into one that’s controlled by anypony else. Because if that ever happened… I wouldn’t be me…”
Silence reigned.
“……… I understand what you’re saying Orion…” Fluttershy said, breaking the quiet. “I know what it’s like to not be yourself… it feels awful… Girls, you know what it feels like too, don’t you?”
The other young mares each nodded in turn, some looking embarrassed, some sad, and in Rainbow Dash and Luna’s case, angry.
“…The Nightmare…” Luna said, her voice strained as the lunar diarch took a deep breath. “I think that perhaps we have all behaved… poorly… as of late… and Orion has every right to feel upset… But that doesn’t change that fact that Applejack quite sincerely cares for you Orion, and myself and Rainbow Dash as well. All three of us would have been ready to do whatever it took to keep you safe from that entitled nag that was harassing you… We just want what’s best for you…”
“I know that… I just want to be treated like I have a mind of my own… not just be something to possess or protect. I get that things are different in Equestria for guys… but I just want to be myself without having to worry about offending someone or accidentally ‘advertising’ or causing fights because I don’t realize when somepony is hitting on me…” Orion said, hanging his head and sighing. “Look… I get that you girls all want to help look out for me, but I think that the best thing for me to do right now is start standing on my own… I’m okay with hanging out, but I don’t want an escort, even an accidental one… it makes me feel like I’m a commodity…”
“And that’s all well and good Orion… but what if something comes up and you’re in danger?” Luna said, fidgeting in her seat awkwardly. “Should we stand by and let you be hurt then? Do you have any idea how much it aches to watch somepony you care about walking alone through life?”
“…I understand Luna… I just wish that everyone could understand me…” Orion said, getting up and walking out of the kitchen, not even saying goodbye as he shut the door to the Library behind him.
The group sat there in the kitchen, a tense silence in the air as they all fought within themselves. Should they stay and let him vent? Or should they chase after him?
………
………
“BUCK!” Rainbow swore, slamming her hoof on the floor and snorting. “Why the hay do stallions have to be so complicated?!”
“Stallions aren’t complicated Dashie… they’re just like mares, only they’re a bit more sensitive when it comes to getting help with doing something… kind of like Applejack when she tried to buck the entire apple farm that one time.” Pinkie Pie explained, her mane still slightly deflated and her normally bright coat seeming to have dulled as she pulled a flat brimmed hat and a corncob pipe out of who knew where. “One of the big important things that my papa taught me before I left the rock farm was, if you ever want to get on a stallion’s good side, just treat him like you would another mare. And you’d better be treating everypony with respect.”
“…… Okay, everypony needs to take a breath…. Pinkie’s starting to sound like someone that actually makes sense…” Twilight said, looking around the group, eyeing Luna, AJ, and Rainbow in particular. “And it’s probably just going to do more harm than good if anypony chases after him right now…”
“… So we’re all just gonna let him walk off on his own? After everything we did ta look out fer him an’ keep him safe… and we’re just gonna let him go…” Applejack said, sounding more hurt than angry.
“Well…it’s not that we’re leaving him alone… we’re just giving him some space…” Fluttershy said, tryin to calm her friend down. “And maybe it’s not a bad idea for everyone to take a bit of time to themselves…”
“So yer sayin’ the same thing they are!” AJ said, exploding at the yellow Pegasus, tears streaming down her face, “Why can’t Ah be with him, huh?! Is it that wrong of me ta wanna look out fer him? Am Ah just not good enough?!”
“Applejack… nopony’s saying that… look, everyone’s been through a lot lately, so it’s probably just best for everypony to take the afternoon for themselves…” Fluttershy responded, wrapping a wing around her friend and giving her a hug, “There there… It’s going to be just fine, you’ll see… I’ll tell you what, you care about Orion a lot, don’t you?”
The orange Earth Pony sniffled, “… Yeah…”
“Then how about the two of us spend the afternoon talking about how you can show him that you care… come on, we’ll sit down, just the two of us, and talk about how we can get him to see you the way you see him over a nice relaxing pot of tea. What do you say?” Fluttershy said, using the voice she did whenever she was trying to calm a particularly volatile critter.
“Ah guess that ain’t too unreasonable…” Applejack admitted, “I still don’t feel right about leavin’ him out there on his own though…”
“He’s not going to be by himself.” Twilight said, trying her best to comfort the farmpony, “SPIKE!”
There was a thump and a swear through the wall, heavy footsteps resounding through the library until a familiar purple scaled head poked it’s way in through the swinging door to the kitchen frowning.
“Twilight… we’ve talked about this… you’re the head librarian. It doesn’t matter if there’s hardly anypony here, you still need to keep your voice down inside.”
“Oh shush… you just hate that I woke you up.” Twilight said, waving her assistant’s words away, causing him to grumble something about the ‘principle of the thing’ before she could continue. “In any case, we need your help…”
Spike stopped grumbling at that, looking confused. “What do you mean my help? The only thing I can do that you girls can’t is breathe fire, and I’m pretty sure that you’re already working on some kind of potion for that one Twilight…”
“Well… long story, this is something that we need a masculine touch for… Orion is kind of, not very happy with most of us right now, and we don’t want to bother him more, but we also don’t want him out there in Ponyville alone right now… could you just kind of, keep him company for a bit?” Twilight explained haltingly.
Spike’s frown deepened. “Okay... I may not be the best at picking up a hint…” he said, glancing at Rarity, “But I can tell this is bugging you girls more than you’re letting on… I’ll keep an eye on him, but Twilight, if I can’t get the full story from Orion, you’re telling me later, deal?”
“Deal, now go after him before he has a mare-mob on his tail.” Twilight said, pulling his ear fin with her magic and guiding him out the front door. “And while you’re working on that, I’m going to run a couple errands… Girls, you can stay if you’d like, but please lock the door behind you if you leave.”
“…Well… looks like that just leaves us without plans…” Rainbow said, unusually quiet as she looked around the table at Pinkie, Rarity, and Luna. “What do you girls say we go grab something to eat from Sugarcube Corner?”
“That sounds pretty good.” Pinkie answered, her hair starting to go back to its usual ‘poofy’ state. “There’s no sense in getting worried when everypony just needs to take a break… and the Cake’s have a new batch of treats that they wanted help in taste testing.”
“Uhhh… Pinkie… haven’t you been with us since we got back to Ponyville? How do you know that the Cake’s have anything waiting?” Dash asked, her look of confusion mirrored on Rarity and Luna’s face.
“Pinkie Sense Dashie… don’t question it…” Was the pink pony’s response, walking out of the kitchen and prompting the other’s to simply shrug and follow behind. “……Besides, it’s almost Hearts and Hooves Day, so they’re in ‘Crazy Creative Candy Creating’ mode, which means lots of extra sweets to be… cleaned up…”
“…Why do I have the feeling that she simply wants us to go with her so she have an excuse to ‘test’ a mountain of candy without feeling guilty?” Rarity muttered to Luna, causing the usually reserved Alicorn to try and bite back a laugh unsuccessfully.
“Alright you two, you heard the mare, let’s go to Sugarcube Corner and grab a bite… I could use some chocolate right about now anyway…” Rainbow said, ushering Rarity and Luna out of the treehouse, her tail wrapping around the handle and shutting the oak door behind her as they set off into the afternoon light to find comfort food.