//------------------------------//
// Chapter Forty Six- ...And Ditzy, too! 
// Story: STAR TREK: EQUESTRIA 
// by Alicorne 
//------------------------------//

[center]CHAPTER FORTY-SIX


…AND DITZY, TOO!


I was the first to recover. Composing myself, I stepped forward and peered down at the figure before me. He looked up at me fearlessly, his eyes darting to my Cutie-patch, my hooves, my legs… as well as my primary mammalian assets! He craned his neck and cocked his head from side to side as I approached.
“I am Captain Starry-Eyes of the Starship Hermes, upon which your… device… has arrived. That gentlestallion over there is Apple Bob, our Quartermaster, and the Zebra Mare next to him is Xantippe, my Yoemare. In the name of the United Federation of Pastures I welcome you aboard, Doctor… who?” I extended a hoof out of courtesy, not sure if he would recognize the gesture.
The little guy had to half-rear to get his hoof up high enough. He put it in mine and gave it a quick shake, smiling.
“Yes, quite!” He resumed his footing, readjusting his tie and giving me a reassuring pat above the knee. “That never gets old no matter how many times I say it! Just call me The Doctor and we’ll get along famously. Allow me to introduce my dear Companion, Miss Doo. Ditzy? Come say hello, don’t be shy!” he made a come-hither gesture at the open door behind him and out stepped a soft grey and blonde Pegasus who paused self-consciously in the doorway with her wings held tightly against her. She smiled up at us tentatively and gave a little wave of a foreleg. “Hi, everypony!” Her eyes were huge and marigold-yellow, as I watched the left one rolled to look away and upward. It would be an off-putting performance all by itself, but it was her voice that made the Mare in my Head sit up, alarmed.
She replayed it for both our benefits, noting the definite slowness in her pronunciation and the element of vacantness in her expression. Before I quite realized it, I’d snatched my hoof away in the act of extending it. There was something wrong with her mind… she was a Cull! I gave her a look Earthly Ponies reserve for unshielded, infectious waste.
“Miss Doo.” I nodded, giving her a brief, intense scrutiny before returning to the self-styled Doctor. His pale blue eyes had narrowed slightly in disapproval as if he had, in a split second, somehow been privy to what he been going through my mind.
“Yes…” He drawled. “Well, we got your message and came at once, didn’t we? Oh we had to make a stop or two along the way…”
“I just don’t know what went wrong!” Ditzy-Doo put in.
“But we got here just the same!” The Doctor finished smoothly. “And that’s what counts! The TARDIS may have her eccentricities but the old girl always comes through in a pinch!” 
From the open doorway behind him came a discordant, twanging sort of bong…
“Steady on!” The Doctor admonished, giving what lay inside a warning look.
The proceedings were interrupted an instant later by a familiar figure who appeared with a soft pop to circle the newcomers in a flitting figure-eight flight path.
“Yayy! Dokker, Dokker, Dokker! Ditzy, Ditzy, Ditzy-Doo, Doo, Doo! Remember Tyllae? Hi-hiii, nice, nice, nice Blue-Boxy!” She paused for a microsecond to wave at the wooden structure before resuming her zooming in and around the four-legged pair as the blue light atop it blinked three times in apparent acknowledgement.
The Doctor watched her tolerantly, as if it were all old hat to him. His Companion, one the other hoof, flapped into the air about eye level with me and did her best to match the Fey’s aerobatics with foal-like abandon. As the two capered in mid-air, Bob and Xantippe stepped quietly forward.
“G’day, Doc.” He said in his unhurried way and extended a hoof. “Any choom of the little ‘un’s a choom of moine. Loike the Boss Lady said, name’s Apple Bob. Pleased t’meetcher.”
“As for me, I am Xantippe.” The Zebra’s culture being more reserved, she clasped her hooves before her in over-and-under fashion and bowed from the hip.
He shook Bob’s hoof warmly and bowed his neck to the Zebra as Tyllae returned, perched on Ditzy’s head and grinning like a maniac.
“Happy to make your acquaintance, the both of you.” He coughed delicately into one hoof. “Forgive our abrupt arrival. I needed to put us down as close as I could to your power systems and this was the largest space I could find. I, ah, didn’t think anypony was using the area at the time. We thought it best to wait a little bit before opening the door.” He gave Bob a broad wink, who only put his arm around the Yoemare’s waist and shrugged.
“No worries, Mate!”
Xantippe only closed her eyes demurely… and sidled closer to Bob.
I cleared my throat in an effort to get back to the task at hoof. “Doctor, if Mister or Miss ‘Tardis’ would like to come outside and stretch their legs they’re more than welcome to join us.” I cocked an eye at the structure. “It must be pretty crowded in there.”
“Oh, TARDIS isn’t a proper name.” Ditzy put in helpfully. “It’s an acronym. That’s a title that is made of up the first letters of…”
“I am quite well aware of the definition of an acronym.” I said more coldly than I intended, barely giving her a glance while Tyllae frowned and the Pegasus shut up in a hurry. She averted her good eye while the other rolled even farther off-kilter as she fidgeted in embarrassment.
“TARDIS…” The Doctor put in to the uncomfortable silence. “Stands for Time And Relative Dimensions In Space. It is what my people call this type of machine, though it’s really more than a mere mechanism. It would save us all a great deal of explanation if I would just show you and get it all out of the way. Won’t you all please come inside for just a moment? Miss Doo, would you be so kind as to show them the Control Room? Follow Miss Doo, everypony! Tyllae, you’ll want to stay outside if I’m not mistaken.”
“Right, right, right!” The Fey agreed. “Too much metal an’ buzzy-thingies. Hurts poor, poor, poor Tyllae’s ears!” She launched herself into the air to flutter next to my head. “Tyllae will wait right here. Appley-Bob an’ Zeeba-Tippy gonna get big, big, big surprise! Hee-hee!” She tittered and tried to smother her giggles with her hooves.
“Oaky-Dokey-Lokey, Doctor! Come on, everypony!” With that, the Pegasus got airborne and waved us to follow. With an ease born of long experience she zipped right through the narrow door… and clipped her starboard wing in the process. “…Ow.”
“Just through there, if you please!” The Doctor said briskly. “…And, please, don’t touch anything you see! Lots of delicate instruments in there!”
Bob gave me a questioning look and I nodded. “You two go in first. It’s gonna be a squeeze for me to get through there. Does that other door open?”
“No.” The Doctor said firmly. “There’s plenty of room inside but you’ll just have to manage the door as it is. It was only a matter of time before this came up. I simply must get the Chameleon Circuit fixed one day! You two trot along and we’ll bring up the rear.” He gave me a significant glance. “I’d like to have a word with the Captain first.”
“Roight.” Bob nodded, looking carefully at the both of us. “We’ll just have a quick look ‘round and we’ll be back in a jiffy then.”
“We’ll be right behind you, Bob.” I assured him.
With that he gathered up Xantippe, who had been doing her best to penetrate the gloom beyond the doorway, took her hoof, and stepped inside. The Doctor and I were alone in the Cargo Bay.
He leaned against a cargo container and looked up at me affably. “You’re from…” He searched his memory for a moment. “Fifty-four Draconis A, if I’m not mistaken? The world settled by the Superponies who didn’t align themselves with neither Khan nor the Cadre of Colonel Green?”
I regarded him coolly. “Are you asking me or telling me? We call it Equestris…and we prefer the term ‘Augments’ as opposed to ‘Superponies’.”
“I stand corrected.” He said with a disarming grin. “My, you are a big drink of water, aren’t you? Though rather smaller than the rest of your fellow Colonists, hmmm. …How do you cope with that, shall we say, distinction? As I recall they’re none too forgiving of those who deviate too much from their arbitrary norm.”
I put my hooves behind my back and tossed my mane back before giving the Doctor a level look. “I’m considered very short by our standards, though I’m within acceptable standards. Barely.” I added, frankly, before cocking my head slightly at him.
“You seem to know a lot about the place, though I doubt it comes firsthoof. You’ve made quite a study of the database.”
“Young Lady, there aren’t many places in all of Time and Space I haven’t walked.” He looked at me with such conviction that I refrained from commenting. “You see, I prefer to investigate these things for myself rather than rely on the observations of others. It’s the mark of a true Scientist.”
I considered the Little Pony before me. “I’m not impressed by your attempts at being enigmatic, Doctor. Is there a reason for you bringing up Equestris just now?”
He crossed one foreleg over the other, sneaking a glance at his watch in the process. “How do you handle the, ah, genetic inadequacies of your crewmates, I wonder? You seem to accept them without a qualm from what I’ve observed. Indeed, you seem to be on quite good terms with them. Especially the young Zebra.” He nodded thoughtfully. “She does have a certain amount of exotic appeal, doesn’t she? Personally, I don’t have time for anything like that any more…”
The Mare in my head started in her seat, blushing, while I ignored the lie. “They can’t help how they’re born. After all, their society doesn’t make distinctions in that regard. I can hardly hold it against them and they don’t hold my upbringing against me.” I said flatly, seeing where he was steering this conversation.
“Ditzy… Miss Doo…” He amended with a lopsided grin. “Can’t help how she was born, either. The Science of her day did not allow her condition to be detected, let alone, treated before birth. She copes quite admirably despite her disadvantages.”
“Your point, Doctor?”
He was silent for a moment, sizing me up with his eyes. “Before coming here I was advised by somepony important that you had an important role to play in the forthcoming events.” He gave me a speculative look. “Meeting you, though, makes me wonder in just which way?” His voice trailed off and he pursed his lips.
“I can’t help but feel that I’m being judged here. Doctor, I didn’t call you here. If you can help keep my Ship and Crew safe I’d greatly appreciate it. We can, frankly, use all the help we can get! I’m sorry if I offend you, but I have a Job I Have To Get Done. Is your assistance dependent on your approval?”
“Not at all, not at all! I was just wondering…?”
“Yes?”
“How is Miss Doo any less of a person than a Gorn, a Tellarite … or a Faery?”
I scrutinized the Pony who scrutinized me in return.
“Let me answer that question with a question.” I began. “You seem to be remarkably well informed in regards to my activities. Fine. You might have hacked the Federation database but you sure as Hell couldn't have gotten into our computers. So I'm going to go out on a limb here and put forth the proposition that you're not a Pony, aren't you?”
The Doctor said nothing, gave away nothing.
I tilted my head toward the Blue Box. “I'm going to go in there and see some sort of incredible technology, aren't I? Something beyond Earth, Equestris, or the Federation. Your glib smugness in regards to that thing suggests to me that it's more than a simple travel pod with a bad décor.” I eyed him. “'Time And Relative Dimensions In Space', was it? That thing is the terminal point of some sort of Time-Travel device, isn't it? From some world outside the Federation, or some time.”
“Very good!” The Doctor spared me a smile. “And very perceptive of you, well done! You're very nearly right on all points. Suffice it to say that I am, indeed, an Alien.” He gestured deprecatingly. “Was that you question?”
“Just the preamble.” I shook my head. “Let's look at the facts. You have a working Time Machine. By inference you can move in both Time and Space. Your manner says to me that you've been doing this for a while now, from the viewpoint of us outside observers anyway. In all your, ah, time, Doctor. All the places you've visited...” I gave him a sharp glance as an idea just then occurred to me. “Or perhaps you were more than a tourist! Your foreknowledge must come with a terrible temptation to do more than just look. Let's leave that for a moment.” I said as he stirred. “In all your travels I'm sure you must have seen things that, despite your intellect, simply revolt you on some primal level. I am a product of my culture, Doctor. On Equestris the brain-damaged are not suffered to live. That's changed a lot over the last couple decades. The Federation gave us the means to better manage what, before, was deemed a liability The Colony couldn't afford. I try to keep an open mind but I'm still a Pony with my own biases and preconceived ideas. I'm sorry if that bothers you. If it makes you feel better I promise to give Miss Doo the benefit of the doubt. I'm not Khan, Doctor, and I'm getting more and more tired of people who judge me by his example. In the meantime you'll just have to be patient.”
The Doctor stood and took a step closer. Yes, there was something undeniably alien in those eyes. Something that hinted at a point of view... or collection of experiences... that I could scarcely imagine. No, there was no hostility there. I'm hard put even now to say with precision what I saw, it was too complex.
“Oh, brave new world that has such Ponies in it.” He quoted softly. Then, “That's an odd sort of question, isn't it?” He asked noncommittally.
“The question, Doctor, is how am I any less of a person than you?”
I genuinely believe that I surprised him! He looked at me blankly for less than a second before breaking into a frankly horsey grin.
“Touché!” He exclaimed. “Oh you are just the most interesting sort of Pony! … And I'm sorry to be such a sanctimonious prig, but that's the price you pay for Regeneration! You never know how all the old marbles will fall out, eh?” He couldn't reach high enough to give me a companionable punch to the arm without rearing, so he settled on giving me one in the ribs. “You come highly recommended, indeed, and I'm sure you'll like Ditzy... once you give her a chance.”
There were no particular reasons, given the circumstances, for me to warm up to much less like this Pony. … Yet I found myself smiling.
“A chance is all any Pony can ask for, isn't it?” I gave him a serious look then. “Just who are you, Doctor?”
He sighed and shook himself before answering. “As time goes on, my dear Captain, I've come to realize that, in the end, all I am is a Mad Pony With A Blue Box.” He looked up at me with quiet, earnest eyes. “But I'm here to help, and I'll do so to the best of my ability. You have my Word on that.” What could there have been in those timeless eyes that made me believe him? The Faeries only wanted to help. I wondered just how old his species were that they produced somepony like him? Is benevolence a by-product of long-accumulated wisdom? What mistakes did the Doctor... or his people... make that he felt he had to atone for? ...And why did I feel that I had to analyze this so much? His past, and his reasons, were his own. Honestly tended help is the best help, after all.
I extended my arm slowly. He raised his hoof and blinked in surprise when I gripped him 'round his foreleg. There was a Strength, there, and a Firmness that had nothing to do with muscle tone.
“Welcome aboard, Doctor.”
“I'm pleased to be here, Starry-Eyes. Pleased indeed!”
We began walking toward the enigmatic TARDIS.
“Who've you been talking to, anyway? Have you been through the Portal and been hobnobbing with Celestia or something?”
“Oh,” He said breezily. “Celestia confirmed the information afterwards. But the Pony who first told me was named Pinky, actually, Pinky Pie. A bit on the strange side, but blessed with extraordinary flashes of insight! Unfortunately, they don't often make sense until much later. She told me to cut you some slack, she was talking to The Fourth Wall when she said it, but that's Pinky! You learn to just roll with these things after a while. All part of the wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey nature of the Universe, you know!” He paused and looked thoughtful as we got to the doorway. Hmm... you'll just have to manage the door, I'm afraid.” He took another look at his watch absently.
I would have asked him to go into more detail about those last bits but I had that door to contend with. We’d been away from the others long enough already and I was curious about the layout inside. There were two Ponies and a Zebra in there and I couldn’t hear a thing coming out of that curiously dark portal.
It wasn’t that I couldn’t bend over far enough to make it through, the hatches on the old Hermes were actually a little shorter. The rub was that this door was a lot narrower, not being much wider than the Doctor himself. Now matter how I went in I was going to be inches wider than the doorframe allowed. In the end I bent my knees, leaned backwards, turned sideways and went in left leg first. As a weird combination of the Limbo and the Watusi it was a passable artistic success. 					As I was struggling to get my upper anatomy through, my blouse got bunched up, I looked back at the Doctor. He had a crumpled paper bag in one hoof. Tyllae was in the process of extracting her head, something bright yellow that I could tell was loaded with sugar even at this distance clenched in her teeth as he looked on genially. With a twist, a wiggle, and an uncomfortable draft, I made it through.
The threshold was utterly dark and completely silent but the moment my head came through I was awash with light. I straightened up, tugging my blouse back down from my collarbone in a hurry. From where she stood, Xantippe had, I’m sure, gotten a fleeting eyeful as I made my entrance. The sight, no doubt, inspired her to new heights of rhyme.
“Just a little bit of a tight fit, was it?” She had the decency not to giggle, though she did smile!
“Do you get bonus points for putting three rhymes in a sentence or something?” I muttered, dropping the subject entirely as I took in the surroundings.
We stood in a hemispherical space two or three times the size of the Bridge. Like our Bridge the center of the space was sunken, though in the case of the TARDIS this area was taken up by a large, multisided console bristling with controls. At its core stood a glass or crystalline enclosure, more or less cylindrical in nature, within which floated three gleaming horseshoes with their open ends facing each other to enclose nothing between them. I couldn’t identify what they were made of. A subtle, prismatic hue seemed to flow over them in random waves changing their color endlessly. Drawn by this display, my hooves had already led me to the lower deck by the time my eyes swept the room.
The walls were tinted a bronze color, the light coming from hemispherical fixtures here and there high up on the arching walls. Bob was on the upper deck with Miss Doo, clustered around a trolley bearing a plate, of all things, muffins! He waved a half-eaten one at me when I looked his way.
“Blueberry.” He said with a full mouth. “Not bad, but Oy could show ‘em a thing or two!”
“I like muffins!” The grey Pegasus enthused. “They're my favorite thing ever!” She fluttered her wings in excitement, nearly knocking the tray off the trolley, and gave me the opportunity to ponder the seven bubbles that adorned her flank. She snatched a choice snack up in her forehooves and zigzagged her way through the air to the lower deck where I stood.
“Try one!” She offered it to me, both her eyes for once staying focused forward. “They're delicious! … Oops!”
I snatched the thing out of the air almost as quickly as she lost control of it, the speed of my reflexes making her backpedal through the air as she startled until one of her wings struck the console. The speed that she folded it in spoke of long and painful experience. She dropped to the deck with a thud, looking away in two different directions in embarrassment. “Sor-ree.”
Ok, I'll admit it. The cozy little confab outside aside, my first impulse was to flinch when she flew up in my face. If she hadn't dropped that muffin the hoof I'd already set in motion probably would have shoved her away forcibly. It was irrational and I'm not proud of the impulse, but I didn't want a Defective to touch me.
I wasn't above tickling a Ferengi behind the ears or even shaking hands with a hermaphroditic Archosaur, but they were Aliens and, presumably normal as they reckon it. But to have an individual of ones own species... more or less... running around with a suboptimal mind was an embarrassment. Thousands of my ancestors gave their lives to produce perfect biological offspring. Ones free of defects and disabilities that would be assets to their culture all the days of their lives. On Equestris fetuses that show abnormality are aborted as a matter of course. As mentioned before, I came within an ace of suffering the same fate. I don't gripe about it. If I'd been aborted Mom and Daddy would have tried again or availed themselves of the ova in the Banks. I made the cut, no matter how closely and That Was That, enough said. It was part of the Order the Augments wished to establish for themselves and others by way of example. The idea that a defective individual would be allowed to live strikes us... struck me... as a blasphemy.
Ours is a hard culture, as the winners of the Eugenics Wars reckon it, but we had a hard time of it from the word go. An Equestrin has no intrinsic right to life. To us, it's a privilege and not a gift. Those who are worthy of it get it, those who aren't don't, move on to the next candidate! Our standards are just higher than others. Prior to this Mission mine was the standard Equestrin position, the Universe doesn't care a cracked geode about an individual. It's the Whole that counts and if the individual doesn't... or can't... contribute to the Whole then they aren't needed.
Then came the Federation, our cousins several generations removed, who not only survived the Wars, but thrived. That they found us and not the other way around is a continuing source of embarrassment to the old diehards of the Colony. With all their mish-mashed, addled genes, their unrestricted and unmonitored breeding, and their maudlin sympathies they beat us back to the Stars. It was a hard pill to swallow and there was a lot of lingering ill-feeling on both sides. If it hadn't been for the Romulan War and the common threat they represented things might have come out much differently...
But both sides came out the stronger for it, didn't we? For all the careful planning and optimizing on the part of the Eugenicists of old here we all were. Well, we have a saying back Home. 'It takes all kinds of minerals to make granite’. Without all of them you no longer have granite, just piles of minerals
The Federation was right and we of Equestris are still coming to terms with that... some of us more slowly than others. The memory of Feldspar's ugly prejudice gave me a twinge. In my self-righteousness I was ashamed of her. How was I behaving better?
“You, uh, don't have to eat it if you don't want to...” The little gray Pegasus with the funny eye snapped me out of my introspection. “I'll understand.” Both eyes managed to get a fix on me for a second and looking into them... I had no doubt that she did. I felt lower than the underside of the crust of a neutron star. The Mare in my Head turned her coat so fast she should have caught fire before she started hitting her shame circuits! 
“No harm done.” I said gently. “Thank you. It does look tasty at that.” I delicately peeled the baking cup off the treat and popped the whole thing into my mouth. For the record, I did it without a moments regret and I didn't gag!
It was tasty! I chewed it down enough that I could talk.
“Don't mind him, Miss Doo. Bob's our chief cook and I think he's just a little jealous!” I swallowed. “Think you can spare another one of those? I've got a bigger stomach than most!”
She brightened at once. “I'm glad you like them. They're my specialty!” She fluttered into the air again, beaming.
“Oy heard that!” Bob pitched another my way with an underhoof lob. “Oy'm not jealous, Oy just have my own recipe is all!”
“I'd like to try some. I never get tired of muffins!” She giggled and her eye did its Thing again. “And you all can call me Ditzy, its my name. Ditzy-Doo.”
“Better to be a Ditz than a Derp, eh?” Bob chuckled as he trotted downstairs with a muffin, no doubt, intended for Xantippe. He stopped suddenly. “Wot'd Oy say?”
For Ditzy had dropped to the deck again, giving Bob a stricken look.
“For the sake of future reference...” The Doctor came trotting  in. “We don't use that name in here or anywhere within my earshot... and I have excellent hearing, mind you!” He put a comforting hoof around Ditzy's shoulder and treated the Chief to a severe look. The Mare in my Head kicked herself in the backside after she called up the historical data she could.
“Bob.... she's from our past. Way in our historical past!”
He did a double-take. “Get owt! You're sayin' she's the original Derp? G'wan!”
“Hel-lo!” The Doctor said, peevishly. “I just said...”
“It's ok, Doctor.” Ditzy wrapped her forelegs around the Doctor and nuzzled him, rather to the prissy Stallions' discomfort! She dismounted and turned to look toward Bob, blinking tears from her eyes. “Ponies... some Ponies... used to call me that name. They made fun of me because... because of my eye. And because I can't fly right all the time. And because I’m clumsy.” She paused, looking down for just a moment before raising her head bravely. 
“That’s why I went with the Doctor when asked me to come with him. He helps people from all over the Universe for no other reason than it’s right. He’s the noblest Pony I know… and he asked me to help him. Me!” She sniffed and looked at the Doctor adoringly. “Back Home I’m a joke and Ponies make fun of me. But here, with the Doctor, I’m a lot more than just a mailmare; I make a big difference and we keep everypony safe… even if they don’t know it.”
“It’s perfectly true!” The Doctor nodded. “There are hundreds of worlds, thousands of billions of people scattered through the cosmos who sing her praises each and every day for what she’s done. She’s a heroine, my Miss Doo.” He gave her a prim, proper nuzzle to her ear.
“Because you gave me a chance!” She tucked her head under his chin while the Mare in my head just went ‘D’awww!’ I spun her chair around and told her to mind her own business!
“Rubbish!” The Doctor said. “I don’t give chances, I just don’t stop you from being you. Better they sing for you than for me, anyway.” 
“I’m only a heroine to my Little Muffin.” She essayed a tiny, tender smile mostly to herself.
“She has a child.” The Doctor put in. “A Unicorn filly, back in Ponyville, a most adorable little thing, too!” He gave the Pegasus a restrained nuzzle, looking into her eyes.
“And I thought this Stallion was your Muffin!” Xantippe stepped up and smiled at the pair. She looked at the startled expressions on our faces. “What, is it not plain to you the affection between these two? It is plain to me that it’s there for all to see!" 
“Ditzy!” The Doctor adjusted his tie nervously and snuck a glance at his watch. “Not now! Ahem…!” He cleared his throat. “As I was saying, So, Captain, what do you think of the TARDIS?”
I took in our surroundings and gave the Doctor a significant glance. “It’s smaller on the outside than it is on the inside. Neat trick, that!”
He looked at me like I’d just spit on the floor! “What?”
“I said that it’s smaller on the outside than it is on the inside. Not surprising, once you think about ‘Time and Relative Dimensions’ and all that.” I said matter-of-factly, then, as the Doctor gave me an irritated look. “What’s wrong?”
“Everypony else always say that it’s bigger on the inside than the outside.” The poor buck sounded almost hurt. “… I’ve rather come to think of it as a tradition.” He smiled sheepishly. “Well, that’s just an indication of how your mind works, isn’t it?”
“I do not wish to appear dense, but I do not see the difference.” Xantippe frowned to herself.
“The differences, Madame, are what make all of us uniquely unique!” The Doctor bounded from Ditzy’s side and almost seemed to dance around the central console. It was all old hat to her, it seemed. She smiled a patient, fond smile as she watched him caper about, throwing a switch here, cranking a crank there until he’d completely circled the thing. “And that uniqueness is very much worth preserving, isn’t it?” He declared brightly, coming to rest by a display that incorporated an honest-to-Luna old-style CRT screen on a mounting attached to the central console.
I noted at that point that the console was festooned with a bewildering display of archaic devices, everything from the aforementioned cranks to levers, knife switches from the days of Tailsla and Ponison, even a few wooden handled pull chains suspended from high up on the ceiling! I peered closer at what I took at first to be an archaic alphanumeric keyboard. In fact it turned out to be the chassis of a very old-style typewriter. The kind with the type set on little arms instead of a ball. Weird! All of this stuff sat cheek-by-jowl with more-or-less conventional touch pads, buttons, and photoelectric switches of varying styles all tacked onto and almost encrusting the bronze-finish material that lay underneath. The TARDIS hadn’t seen regular maintenance in a long, long time indeed!
“Ah! Captain, it would seem your crew is trying to reach you.” The Doctor nodded to his CRT which bore the image of the comm panel in the Cargo Bay. He hoofed a switch and the Kirk’s voice came in from hidden speakers.
“-tain Starry-Eyes! Respond please. What is your status?”
Tyllae appeared, the Doctor’s paper sack clutched in her forehooves and her cheeks bulging as she chewed furiously. Flitting up, she swung her bottom around and thumped the comm button. Swallowing quickly she turned about to face the speaker/microphone.
“Hi-hiii!” She caroled. “Starry went inside to talk with Dokker but Tyllae is here, yep, yep, yep!”
I could imagine Kirk blinking! “Tyllae? I need to speak with the Captain, could you put her on? It’s important!”
“Tyllae go get! Back inna jussa little bit, Mister Kirky-Kirk!” She disappeared so quickly she might have teleported. The Doctor’s equipment had no problem following her, though. The viewpoint reset instantly to a view of the TARDIS doors. The little Few did an aerial about-face and bucked the doors three times just as the Doctor threw a switch. We all heard the ‘Bap-bap-bap’! He pulled a lever with a big red knob on it and the exterior doors opened.
Tyllae zipped right into the threshold, keeping scrupulously in the exact center, and called out. “Star-ree! Mister Kirky-Kirk wanna talk ‘bout something important!”
“Can you patch me in from here or do I have to go outside again?” I asked the Doctor quickly. He nodded, frowning absently as he reached for and flipped a couple of toggle switches.”
“Go ahead, Captain.” He said quietly then began scrutinizing some of his displays, calling up information on his screen. I could see it was date and time information rendered into Earth reckoning. He shot an embarrassed glance at his watch as I began speaking.
“Go ahead, Lieutenant!”
“Captain! Long-range sensors are picking up another ship on an intercept course at Time Warp Seven. ETA is about ten minutes. There was no prior sensor contact. Captain, that ship just teleported in!”
“Oh dear.” The Doctor said in a small voice. I shot him a glance as I continued.
“Can you identify the ship?”
“Hull configuration matches that of the Switchblade, Captain, though the energy readings we’re getting are showing extensive Arcane augmentation! We’re at a loss to account for that.” He added grimly.
“Signal Yellow alert. Raise shields and bring our weapons on-line! Stand by for a moment, Lieutenant!”
“Aye-aye, Ma’am! All decks Yellow Alert! Weapons crews to your stations!” Through the doorway I could hear the klaxon begin to hoot as I fixed the Doctor with a look.
“Doctor…?”
The brown Stallion in his archaic clothes fidgeted.
“Yes… I seem to have made the tiniest error in my arrival time. Really, though! This ‘stardate’ system would fuddle a Cyberpony! I mean, really now! How many hours are there in a ‘stardate’ anyway?” He checked his watch against the readout on the screen guiltily. “Captain… may I bother you for the time?”
“It’s Stardate One-Zero-One-Three point One-Three, about twenty-one hundred fifteen hours.” I said slowly, my eyes boring into his. The Doctor winced.
“Ah.” He cleared his throat quietly. “Not twenty-hundred hours, then?” He checked watch and display again and did some math in his head. “… Didn’t carry the two. Still, given the overly-complicated nature of the whole ‘stardate’ thing, I wasn’t that far off, was I?”
“Doctor!”
He jumped. “You should be on the Bridge… about three minutes ago!”
I didn’t have the time to do it, but I gave him a three-second look that would have made a Denebian Slime Devil cry for its mommy!
“Lieutenant! Signal Red Alert. All hooves to battlestations!” I gestured him to kill the connection as the Red Alert sounded through the open doorway. “Doctor, can this thing…” I waved a hoof at my surroundings. “Fight?”