//------------------------------// // Tell me Tell me TELL ME! // Story: Battle of the Blanks // by HumanSVD //------------------------------// Apple Bloom and Princess Luna were still in the friendly embrace of one another for what seemed like an eternity. Letting go from each other Apple Bloom looked around the image of Konrad's truck with a sad look on her face. Princess Luna could easily tell the place was empty and void of friendly familiarity, and it was no longer an image of comfort. Not wanting to keep the filly in such a depressed mental state, an idea popped into Princess Luna's head. "Young Apple Bloom, since it may be awhile before we awake, how about we change the scenery?" Apple Bloom looked at Princess Luna and asked, "But how? Is it just the same way that Ah wished Konrad was here?" Princess Luna smiled and nodded her head, before saying, "Most certainly! Simply close your eyes and think of a place that makes you happy, and makes you whole as if you belong there." Laughing with a smile, Apple Bloom replied, "Why that's easy! Ah already know that one for sure!" Apple Bloom closed her eyes and the sight of Konrad's empty truck melted away and was replaced with the sight of an Apple Orchard. If Luna remembered correctly, this was the residence of the Element of Honesty and Apple Bloom's home as well. In the distance, a red stallion pulling a plow could be seen as well as an elderly mare rocking back and forth in a chair more suited for ponies. Also in the distance was the Element of Honesty herself dragging into the barn what appeared to be a basket of apples. It was quite obvious these were Apple Bloom's family members as Princess Luna remembered seeing them on the nearly disastrous Nightmare Night Celebration last year. "Well Apple Bloom, what are you waiting for? Go to them." Apple Bloom smiled at the sight of her family but frowned. "But... it's not really them is it? It's just mah imagination." Princess Luna leaned down and nuzzled Apple Bloom while whispering, "Do you remember what Konrad said?" "That Ah'm already home and mah family is here with me, even if Ah'm dreaming about them?" Princess Luna smiled and once more nuzzled Apple Bloom before saying, "Well, do you think Konrad was lying?" Apple Bloom shook her head and simply said, "Nope! No siree!" "Well now Apple Bloom, what are you waiting for? Go to them." All of a sudden, Apple Bloom gave Princess Luna a firm but gentle hug while saying, "Thank you Princess Luna! Your mah favorite Princess!" This took Luna by surprise as young Pipsqueak from last year's Nightmare Night celebration was the first time she had ever heard a young child proclaim that she was their "favorite Princess" at this point of time. As Apple Bloom let go and ran toward her family, Princess Luna looked onward with smile. She had won the admiration of yet another one of her subjects, and while she regretted acting like a spoiled filly by running away from the castle, she did not regret being in the forest with Apple Bloom and helping to protect her from harm. "Tis no longer about me, it is about them. I shall watch over my subjects and protect them, not just in their dreams, but in their lives as well. I cannot wait until the celebration when I awake! I shall bring forth much merriment and fun to my subjects!" Princess Luna, who was happy to have earned the trust and admiration of another young subject, continued to watch from the entrance of Apple Bloom's dream of Sweet Apple Acres. As Apple Bloom ran towards her family, the elderly mare woke up in a confused state while the hardworking stallion ceased plowing a nearby field and ran towards Apple Bloom. Applejack stopped her own chore before turning around and being greeted by the sight of her younger sister jumping in the air towards her. The young filly tackled the older sister knocking her hat off to the side as Apple Bloom and Applejack embraced in a happy hug. They were soon joined by the older brother and the elderly mare as the entire Apple Family was now once again complete. Princess Luna smiled knowing that the filly’s nightmare was finally over, and should it ever return, she would be there to help her with her fears. A small tear began to form in her right eye before she felt a new presence. There was nopony else in the dream with her but she couldn’t help but feel the touch of a muzzle gently nuzzling her heck. The only pony that came to Luna’s mind was, “Tia…you’re here with me aren’t you?” To confirm Luna’s suspicion, the voice of her dear older sister replied back, “And I’m never letting go of you ever again.” The tear that was building up in Luna’s right high suddenly fell down her face before the sight of Sweet Apple Acres melted away. Luna was now greeted with the sight of her older sister, who was surprisingly dressed in her old battle armor that she had not used since their last fight. Ignoring the painful memories of the past, Luna immediately embraced Celestia and cried in the process. “Tia! I thought I was never going to see you again! It was…so…horrible!” Returning the hug, Celestia began to cry herself as she took her helmet off with her solar colored magic hue enveloping it. “It’s okay Lulu, I’m here now and I’m never letting you go.” The thought of almost dying and losing her sister again made Luna continue the embrace for a few more minutes with both mares crying in the process. The crying ceased, and so did their sisterly embrace. A nearby nurse ran over and brought a box of tissues near the table next to Luna’s hospital bed. The nurse bowed quickly before running across the room and running out the door to another room. Using her hoof instead of her magic, Luna pulled a tissue out of the box and began to wipe her eyes with it. She was not pleased to see that her makeup had washed off due to her crying, and also noted that her coat was very dirty. Her wings were cleaned up a bit but unfortunately still in an unsuitable condition for flying. Her artificial shoes were no longer on her hoofs and Luna was still a bit embarrassed that she didn’t notice the ruse until earlier in the night. It was especially embarrassing that Ruby pointed it out to her, and Luna thought to herself. “I love you dear sister, but you shall pay for that prank very soon.” Taking a look at the tissue, then a reflection of herself from a nearby small mirror, Princess Luna lowered her head in shame with her ears lowering as well and said, "I look like....like....shit." Celestia's eyes widened in surprise before regaining her composure. Never had Celestia heard anypony say such a dirty word for bodily waste in front of her, especially her own little sister. Princess Celestia folded a wing over Luna before nuzzling once more, and she spoke softly to Luna, "You do not look like excrement, my dear sister. You are a wonderful, beautiful mare and everypony can see that. You've had a very rough night and I will see to it that you'll get all the rest you need." Luna immediately hugged her older sister with s smile and said, "Thank you Tia, but I believe a bath will benefit me better....as well as a pair of REAL crystal shoes." Pulling away from Luna, Celestia looked at Luna's remaining shoes nearby and saw that the false but cleverly disguised shoes had finally been discovered. Slightly blushing with a smile, Princess Celestia replied, "Luna I'm sorry about that, it was just a harmless prank." Raising a false accusatory glace at Celestia, Luna asked, "How long have I been wearing them?" "Oh...." replied Celestia in an innocent tone before looking away, "since the wedding of Cadence and Shining Armor." Facehoofing, Luna shook her head in embarrassment at the revelation. "I cannot believe I didn't notice the discrepancy earlier. What kind of Princess wears glass shoes? I cannot fathom any proper Princess that does!" Slightly giggling, Princess Celestia replied, "Just as one that says the 'S' word for bodily waste? I cannot seem to think of one either." Luna gave a small 'that's not funny' look to her older sister, who was now laughing. "Dear sister, do you think of me less of a Princess despite one small use of a commoner's vulgar term?" "No I do not, but I think that is not an appropriate word you should use. You're better than that." replied Celestia with a serious tone. "You are right about that, but I think an exception can be made considering my circumstances," replied Luna while looking at her appearance with a subtle but sulking face. "Speaking of which, we need to discuss the events of tonight. They have been very-" "APPLE BLOOM!" exclaimed Princess Luna "Where is Apple Bloom?! Is she safe? Did Konrad really mean that she was home? I don't remember what happened after the fight!" Princess Luna began to frantically look around her bed and noticed that a Doctor and a Nurse ran into her room to worried about what the shouting was about. Realizing the Princess Luna was awake, the Doctor whispered to the nurse to fetch some water for the royal mare. Still worried about where Apple Bloom was, Princess Luna asked, "Where is she?! I have to know-" A hoof covered her muzzle effectively and said, "Boop." Pushing her older sister's hoof out of the way, Luna looked at her sister with annoyance, "This is serious dear sister! And you know how much I hate that annoying "boop" mother and father used to do to me! I must know-" "You're so cute when you're frantic and panicking!” Celestia interrupted. “I'm sorry Luna, but I could not resist! Besides, Apple Bloom is safe and sound and more importantly, where she belongs." Using her magic, the curtain dividing Princess Luna's bed from the other patient's bed was enveloped in the solar colored hue of her sister's magic and pulled towards the wall. As the curtain was pulled away, it revealed the sight of Apple Bloom's family surrounding her, with her older sister Applejack hugging her in the hospital bed. Most of them were crying at the state of their youngest in the family, with Applejack's hat off on the floor not far from them. "Ah'm never letting go of you, lil' whippersnapper! Never again!" cried Applejack with tears coming from her eyes. "Ah never thought I'd see any of mah grandchildren like this ever! Mah heart can't take losing any of mah youngins!" cried Granny Smith. The big stallion that Luna saw last year and in the dream simply sniffed and wiped his eyes before saying, "Eeyup." As The family surrounded their youngest member of the family, Princess Luna sighed in relief knowing Apple Bloom was safe. A slight tear came to her eye before she wiped it away with a tissue paper taking a little bit more of her make up away as well. "He didn't lie at all....she is safe and sound." Turning back to her sister, Princess Luna spoke up and said, "You have no idea what we both have been through, but it's a great relief that we're all safe and sound." "That is a relief indeed my dear sister, but I still must know more about what happened with you and Apple Bloom. Too many...'surprises' occurred tonight and many of us are left with questions unanswered. With the one in particular about this....Konrad." Princess Luna's eyes widened at the mention of her knight's name. A great sense of worry washed over her with the same fear of not knowing his fate. "Konrad! What happened to him?! Is he safe? And what of Ruby?! Sure, I may not like her that much, but still she deserves peace as well-" A hoof touched Luna's foreleg as she laid on the hospital bed, snapping her back into reality. "Luna? Are you okay?" Shaking her head, Luna regained her composure and replied, "Yes, I am fine dear sister, it's just that you said a name that I am familiar with." "Could that name be Konrad, by any chance?" said a new voice. Turning her attention towards the door to the room, Princess Luna noted that the new arrival was none other than Twilight Sparkle, the one pony who had sought her friendship this very last year when others feared her. Princess Luna immediately felt guilty for calling her an overzealous bookworm protégé earlier in the day as she made eye contact with her older sister. Celestia simply raised on eyebrow at Luna causing Luna to blush slightly. "Yes I know dear sister, I was wrong to call her that. I will never again act like such a spoiled filly." Before Luna could respond, the remaining Elements of Harmony bearers entered the room with their appearance all looking worse for the wear. Their manes were disheveled, their coats dirty, and a few of them had some bruises. Princess Luna could only think that they had run into the Blood Hooves, and immediately she replied, "Why yes Twilight Sparkle, that name is Konrad, a person that I am most familiar with." Twilight Sparkle was for some reason, along the remaining bearers, wearing her Element of Harmony. Princess Luna could only come to conclusion that they were needed in the fight against the Blood Hooves, and what better way to counteract such disharmonious creatures than the Elements themselves. "I can see that the Elements were required to handle the dangerous creatures that threatened our subjects dear sister." said Luna. "Not to mention Apple Bloom's life and yours as well." added Celestia. "That is too true dear sister, pray tell have the Blood Hooves have been dispatched once and for all?" asked Luna. "Yes dear sister, they are no more." Luna gave a sigh of relief knowing that the Blood Hooves were once and for all no longer in existence. She hated every minute seeing them and knowing the terrible things they had done to her subjects. "Excellent! Burn in Tartarus evil creatures! I hope that you suffered at the hands of Konrad!" As Princess Celestia continued to speak, Luna smiled at the thought of Konrad destroying them with his weapons of steel and fire. She couldn't but help imagine the thought of him bravely going into the horde of Blood Hooves, valiantly destroying them left and right as he has earlier. Luna's heart began to steadily beat more at the thought of Konrad giver her the classic feeling of the "butterflies". The newly invented heart monitor that she was attached to began to pick up of the change of heart pace, beeping loudly as if she were in distress. "Curse this unorthodox device! This contraption is giving me away! I hope they cannot tell the reason why I feel this way! I have no clue how they will react to my feelings for him!" A wing extended from Celestia sister in an attempt to calm her. "It's alright Luna, they are no more. They cannot hurt you." "Thank goodness! It's good to know my sister thinks that fear is the reason for my heart beat and not my feelings for.....him. I'm very glad my wings did not...open as well." Princess Luna relaxed that her sister failed to see the real reason of her rising heart beat further adding to the misinterpreted reason of Luna's relief. Luna took off the device attached to her front right leg, and a high pitched noise began to steadily emit from the speaker. Luna found the noise to be most unpleasant but was relieved when the nurse turned off the device. "It was certainly a challenge Luna as it required the Spartrota Guard in addition to the Elements of Harmony to defeat all of them. We were able to follow this "Konrad" to a strange little town in the middle of the forest." "Ah yes, the unknown hamlet called 'Sunny Town'. Tis rather ironic and far from what I and you would call 'Sunny,'” replied Luna as she took a glass of water from a food tray next to her bed. As Luna drank the water, she could feel herself being refreshed from the water's thirst quenching qualities. The nurse near the door noticed the glass was empty and went to fetch another glass to replace it. Luna was glad to see the medical staff could see that she wanted another one without having to speak. To her it was almost as if she was back in the castle. In an instant, the glass was replaced with a new one filed with ice water, something Luna immediately partook in. "You know about that place? How did you get away from there? There were many of them that we slayed, and it's been such a long time that Equestria has fought a battle like that!" asked Twilight Sparkle. "You'll have to forgive me Twilight Sparkle, but the only battle I remember was fighting the Blood Hooves and in our old home of all places." replied Luna while taking another sip of water. "Pardon me your Highness, but if you weren't there, then how could you know the name of that small but disgustingly infested...'town'?" asked Rarity as she got a slight chill from thinking of Sunny Town. "How could they not know? Did Konrad or Ruby not tell them? Surely they would have as I cannot fathom they would be as silly as the serpent that saw Konrad carry me on his back. How warm and safe he was...I swear I could feel him somehow when I was out of it!” Looking at her sister, Princess Celestia asked, "Dear sister, would you kindly tell us how you came into the company of Konrad and Ruby as well as explaining the origin of Apple Bloom's wound?" "Yes, we have a lot of questions that need to be answered." added Twilight Sparkle. "I guess I should answer them, but I'm worried about Konrad. Where is he? Why is he not-" Luna's thoughts were interrupted as the sound of a new voice came from the room's entrance. "I for one agree with that." said a new voice. Everypony's attention turn around to see the newcomer was none other than Princess Cadence. Twilight Sparkle immediately ran over to her favorite foal sitter and sister-in-law with excitement. "Cadence!" exclaimed a happy Twilight. "Twilight!" replied the Princess of Love. Both mares sang and danced in unison, "Sunshine sunshine, Ladybugs awake! Clap your hooves and do a little shake!" Both of the mares quickly hugged in a friendly embrace before letting each other go, both happy to see each other. "Oh Twilight! I'm so glad to see that you're safe too! What happened to you?" Waving her disheveled mane aside, Twilight nervously laughed and replied, "Ehehehe, ummm you know, just fighting the undead zombie ponies called "Blood Hooves" that apparently are not fictional even though the book said they were made up. I'm SO going to strangle the author of that book! That means I've been keeping it in the WRONG section of the library and-MPHF!" "Boop." said Cadence has she "booped" Twilight's Muzzle. "Sorry Twilight, I couldn't resist! You're so cute when you ramble on!" Princess Luna rolled her eyes and thought. "Hmm another one who engages in the annoying "Boop". No doubt Tia passed that onto you young Cadence." Blushing, Twilight replied, "Well, if you say so. Is my brother okay? I don't know where his room is." "He's fine Twilight, the Doctor said he will wake up later. He used a lot of magic earlier, and wore him out a lot. He also has some bruising on his chest, and his snout was broken.....I'm not pleased with the one who did this." "Neither am I...and to think I thought he was not one of them." "Yeah! See?! I told you guys he was!" said Rainbow Dash. The Bearer of Loyalty was now holding an ice pack over her eye which had the nastiest black eye she ever had. Princess Cadence looked at her and cringed at the sight of Rainbow Dash's injury while asking, "Oh no! Does that still hurt? Who did that to you?!" Rainbow Dash tired to narrow her eyes but the injured eye made it difficult to do so. Grunting in both pain and anger, the mare replied, "Still hurts, and Equestria's biggest bozo did it." Princess Cadence narrowed her eyes and asked, "Was it him?" Rainbow Dash simply nodded in return as Princess Luna was confused as to whom they were referring to. "Who are they talking about? That eye wound really looks terrible, I have no doubt she will be feeling that for some time." "Well, I hope you get better, I'm just glad all of you made it out fine." said Princess Cadence. All of the girls nodded in agreement before Pinkie Pie spoke up, "Well, I'm SO super duper happy those meanies are gone! but I'm also sad that he is gone too! My Pinkie sense still said he was a friend!" "Well, I never thought I would say this but......your Pinkie sense is wrong! Wrong wrong wrong!!!" exclaimed Twilight. The purple unicorn was jumping up and down as if she had been vindicated. The seemingly accurate Pinkie sense had been proven wrong in the case of Konrad, and it had shocked those who knew Pinkie Pie's Pinkie sense. Pinkie Pie's ears lowered as a sad face began to come about, and her signature poofy mane began to straighten out. Rarity put a hoof on Twilight, and whispered, "Dear, can you not see you are hurting her feelings? I think you should cease this at once." Twilight looked at Pinkie Pie, who had her head lowered in sadness, and blushed in embarrassment making her friend sad. Twilight went over to Pinkie Pie and struggled to come up with an apology to her friend. "Pinkie, I'm so sorry for that It was very wrong of me to-" "Twilight, I know you didn't mean it. I just thought my Pinkie sense was telling me he a friend for sure. It's never been wrong before....but I guess I'll get over it. No new super duper cool and different friend..." Rainbow Dash flew up in the towards Pinkie Pie while holding ice pack over her black eye, "Super cool friend?! He hit me Pinkie Pie! And he was one of them! Why would he be cool?!" "Um, excuse me Rainbow Dash, but you were mean to his ghostie marefriend and said some very hurtful things." said Fluttershy. "Yeah so? She was rude to Princess Celestia! And he was one of them for crying out loud!" "It doesn't matter, that was still mean to say to any mare. I think you got..." "Got what?" asked Rainbow Dash who looked increasingly angry. "Umm..." Fluttershy began to shy away but found the courage to finish her sentence. "I think....I think...I think you deserved it!" Rainbow Dash's faced began to turn into a hot scowl that Luna could swear the ice pack was beginning to melt at a faster rate. Despite Ranbow Dash's growing face of anger, Fluttershy stood her ground and showed that she would not cower to her friend on the matter. Sensing the growing amount of tension, Princess Celestia intervened before things could get out of hoof. "I think it would be best if this matter was pushed aside girls. What has happened cannot be changed, and there's no point in fighting over this and possibly ruining your friendship." Looking at each other, both Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash lowered their heads before hugging each other. Rainbow Dash quietly whispered into Fluttershy's ear, "We still cool?" "Yes we are." Finishing their hug, the mares separated before turning back towards Princess Luna. As Princess Luna finished her glass, nurse came by to replace it but Princess Luna extended her hoof and said, "Nay, I do not wish to drink anymore." "I will be here should you change your mind your Highness. The nurse bowed and walked with a smile, taking the empty glass with her. "Pardon me your highness, but did you say earlier that you were WITH Konrad and Ruby?" asked Rarity. "Why yes I most certainly did Rarity." replied Luna taking a sip of water while looking at their faces with confusion. Fluttershy walked over to Princess Luna's bed as timid as ever and asked, "Um, I mean Princess Luna? Did you mean together with Konrad as in....friends?" It took Luna a lot of restraint to prevent her from scolding the meek yellow pegasus mare, as the notion her and Konrad being just "friends" did not sit well with her. "Relax, she did not meant it in that context. Just take a deep breath and smile. The chances of him choosing you are high....." Forcing a strained smile and a slight eye twitch, Princess Luna looked at Fluttershy and replied, "Yes Fluttershy....Friends! We are friends! What of it?" Fluttershy simply cowered under her cover of her own mane before Princess Celestia extended a wing to comfort her. Looking at her sister, Princess Celestia asked, "Dear sister, would you kindly tell us how you came into the company of Konrad and Ruby as well as explaining the origin of Apple Bloom's wound?" "I might as well tell them everything now....including my immature departure from the palace. Strange though, where is Konrad? And is Ruby still tethered to the forest or has she passed on?" "Very well, let me tell of the nightmare I have endured in tonight. Bear with me, this shall be a very long recount." Wondering why Konrad was absent, Luna worried for him as she told her Story of the Blanks. Everypony's eyes would grow wide by the time she recounted her nightmare. Konrad was still passed out on the floor and laid there for a few more minutes before waking up. Both Shepards looked at Konrad as he opened his eyes and groaned, "OOOHHHH!!!! SHIIIT! I'm still here! I just....I don't even care anymore. Please tell me what's going on." Konrad covered his eyes and groaned in both physical and mental anguish before the female Shepard spoke up at him "Oh we'll tell you for sure alright, but you need to get up first. And you spilled your drink! Would Konrad ever waste good liquor?" "Mmmm....liquor, the answer to my problems.....Wait a minute, when did Shepard turn into a she?!" "I didn't turn into a she Konrad, she just showed up when you passed out." answered the male Shepard. Groaning a bit as she sat up, Konrad turned his head around to see both Shepards sitting on the couch drinking what appeared to be a neon green colored liquor out of a futuristic scotch glass. At this point, Konrad didn't even care, he wanted what they were having and his crisis could wait until after he became hammered. Pointing a finger at their glasses, Konrad simply said, "DRINK! I want it.....NAAOWW!!" Both Shepards looked at each other and laughed at his rather simple demand before giving Konrad his drink. Drooling at his mouth as if he were a pony looking at a fresh apple, Konrad snatched it up and took the whole thing in one gulp. Konrad suddenly dropped the glass and began to cough harshly as the drink burned his throat. Konrad didn't even know how to describe the taste itself other than that it was strong, very strong. The glass shattered on the ground as both Shepards just shook their heads in disappointment. "Well, he can handle fighting zombie ponies but he can't even handle on glass of Batarian Ale. I'm kinda disappointed actually." said the male Shepard. "Well at least your Konrad actually drank it, I'm sure Luna would have thrown the glass and had a fit about it. She'd probably call it poison or something." The male Shepard laughed before saying, "Well it technically IS a poison, but it's really good, especially for this man." As Konrad's coughing stopped, the man finally got up his legs and made his way over to the table near the couch with a slight limp. Konrad looked at both Shepards with an angry look on his face. "THAT WAS BATARIAN ALE?! It tastes like Goddamn gasoline!" shouted Konrad. Both of the Shepards had a bemused look on their faces as they stared at Konrad. "First of all, don't ever take his name in vein, secondly, that's Ryncol, which is WAY worse than what you drank." Konrad looked at both the Shepards with unease and realized that if they could read his mind, then they could do much worse to him. Giving an uneasy smile, Konrad said, "Okay, my bad. I won't say that again.....okay then, now that we got that out of the way.....WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!" The man known as Konrad was desperate for answers and wanted them now. He had went through hell and somehow wound up on a space ship talking to seemingly Q like Shepards. He was on the verge of another outburst and needed more than just a strange alien drink. The female Shepard nodded while the male Shepard took another drink with a grin on his face and laid back on the comfortable looking couch. The female Shepard pulled out another glass from seemingly nowhere, furthering Konrad's mental degradation even further at the impossibility before him. "We'll tell you Konrad, but we think you need-" "FUCK YOU AND YOUR FUCKING DRINK! I WANT MY FUCKING ANSWERS! AND HOW THE HELL DID YOU PULL THAT GLASS OUT OF NOWHERE?!" The female Shepard gave Konrad an angry glare while the male Shepard simply laughed on the couch at his friend getting yelled at by his assignment. The female Shepard looked at her partner who ceased laughing and motioned for Konrad to sit down. "Alright Konrad, it's your special Q & A time. Go ahead and sit down, it's going to be quite the session." "Sit down on what? You guys have the couch, I need my man space, and I'm too pissed off at her to sit next to her regardless of how hot she is!" The female Shepard poured what appeared to be some type of cold brown ale from a bottle into the glass while saying, "Geez, I guess that's my compliment for the night?" "I think it is my friend and Konrad? Your seat is right behind you." Turning around, Konrad saw a simple desk chair that was not there a moment ago and had appeared out of thin air. Getting annoyed, Konrad sat in it and grunted in pain at his wounds still bugging him. After adjusting the chair with a few grunts, Konrad looked back at both of the Shepards and noticed that the glass was now full of ale and more importantly, right in front of him. Rolling his eyes at the newly appeared drink, Konrad asked, "Not that I'm ungrateful for the drink but could you please stop breaking laws of physics? I've had just about enough of it!" Both Shepards replied in unison, "No." Konrad in return took the drink in the hand of his good arms and said, "Okay.....screw it, at least I still have this." Konrad took the glass of ale and gulped it down as fast as he could. The ale spilled around the edges of his mouth as he quickly drank the alcoholic beverage and discovered that it tasted like his favorite ale. As soon as Konrad finished the ale, he let out a big belch. Both the Shepards smirked at his belch and Konrad couldn't but help chuckle a bit too. "Newcastle? Now I'm feeling a bit better, but it still doesn't explain jack shit." Setting the now empty glass on the table, Konrad looked back at the Shepards and asked in his own true word, "Well....here I am, so fucking tell me please." Both Shepards looked at each other and nodded before turning back to Konrad. The male Shepard was the first one to speak as he set his glass of unknown liquor down. He looked at Konrad with a sincere look on his face and Konrad swore it was almost as if it was a mix of sympathy in it too. "Konrad, I'm going to tell you right now, you aren't going to like what you're going to hear. It's most likely going to be very confusing and angering to you, but know that what you've been through was for your best interests." Konrad looked back at the male Shepard with great confusion not knowing what to make of his statement. "Umm....fighting a freaking creepypasta herd of My Little Pony zombies was for my best interests? I don't see how, and why the hell was I there in the first place?" "This is going to be a long one for sure, pour him another one." said the male Shepard as he face palmed. In an instant the glass that was previously empty was now filled with the same cold ale. Konrad looked at the now full glass before looking at the female Shepard and said, "I take back all that yelled at you." The man took the glass of ale gulped down just as fast as the last one and enjoyed every second of it. After smiling for the first time and feeling a bit more relaxed, Konrad clapped his hands and asked, "Questions....I want them answered so please don't make me beg for it. I've had enough mind fucks for tonight or my life for that matter." The female Shepard looked at Konrad with sadness before filling up his glass once more by snapping her fingers. The glass was instantly filled and Konrad simply shrugged, not caring about the impossibility anymore. "Thanks again, and by the way did you rip that off of Q or something?" asked Konrad taking a slow sip of the drink. The female Shepard laughed before replying, "No, he's got nothing on higher beings like us, but it's a nice thing to copy really. And as for mind fucks.....you're still going to get them. I'm sorry about that." Gripping the glass harder, Konrad began to take bigger gulps of his drink out of dread hoping it would ease his stress about further impending bad news. Setting the glass down, Konrad put his hands over his face and groaned. "Ooooohhhhhh!!!!! Let's just get this over with. Okay, first question, am I dead?" "No, you aren't Konrad but you came very close to dying in more ways than one." answered the male Shepard. Turning his head towards the male Shepard, Konrad immediately followed on with another question, "Woah, more ways then one? Yeah, I almost got killed by the Blanks, er Blood Hooves whatever, and then there was almost getting killed by Shining Armor. I swear he was much better than the cartoon let on." Konrad looked at his wounded arm that was cut by Shining Armor's spear, which was made even worse by a Blood Hoof bite. Konrad cringed at the wound and the pain was still sharp, preventing him from moving his arm too much. Wincing at the wound, Konrad asked, "If I'm not dead, then where the hell am I?" "The Normandy of course! What does it look like?" replied the female Shepard taking another sip of her drink. Konrad rolled his eyes before narrowing them at the female Shepard and used his good arm to point at her. "Don't fucking joke with me, Commander Shepard isn't real, cannot fucking read minds, and Commander Shepard is NOT two different genders at the same time on the same ship. That would never EVER work at all, even if those two individuals were to exist period! Now, who the fuck are you guys?! You said zombie ponies, so you know what the fuck I went through! NOW FUCKING TELL ME!" Both Shepards looked at Konrad with disapproval in their eyes causing the young man to regret yelling at the seemingly omnipotent beings in front of him. Giving off a nervous smile, Konrad replied, "I mean uh, if you would be so kind that is..." Both Shepards just laughed causing Konrad to laugh with them, albeit in a nervous manner. "Okay, I really need to cool down some, these guys can clearly make my night even worse. Just drink my drink and get some answers." Hopefully this isn't me being in a dream within a dream or some crap like that." "No Konrad, you're not in that one movie so relax about that." said the Female Shepard. "Okay, now that's just plain creepy! Could you please at least pretend to NOT read my mind?" pleaded Konrad. Without saying anything, the female shepard simply shrugged while the male shepard gave a thumbs up. "Okay...thanks....anyway, you guys are?" asked Konrad. Both of the Shepards looked at each other as if they were mentally asking each other what to say. Konrad took another sip as the male Shepard replied, "Angels Konrad, we are Angels." The young man ceased drinking and looked at both of them with his eyes blinking in disbelief. He couldn't fathom that angels would look like video game characters, much less ones from his favorite video game series. "Angels?" asked Konrad while raising an eye brow. "Yeah, pretty much." said the female Shepard. Giving the Shepards a blank stare, Konrad face palmed before taking another sip of his beer. Putting the beer down, Konrad looked at them an asked, "Okay.....you're angels. Why you look like Commander Shepard, I have no idea. So am I just supposed to called you guys Shepard one and two?" Both angels laughed at Konrad's question, before the male Angel answered, "Just call her Jane and I John, it's simpler that way Konrad. Next question." "Okay "John", why am I on the Normandy if I'm not dead and you guys are angels? I really don't understand, and why are you angels in the form of Commander Shepard anyway?" "Simple, this isn't the real Normandy anymore than we are the real Shepards. You're simply in a.....waiting area. A place you're familiar with, and talking to "persons" that you know." answered John. "Okay....so you mean purgatory? And don't make a smart comment, I mean the real purgatory, not the club from Mass Effect 2." replied Konrad as he rubbed his temples. "This is so messed and confusing, I cannot believe what is happening to me! Why couldn't this be just a simple stroll in the Arklay Mountains? Well, before people started getting mauled up there at least..." "No Konrad, this isn't purgatory, that doesn't exist at all. This place is merely just a waiting area we have made. You either go to heaven or hell, no other way around that. Each verse has it's own rules for that, and the big guy upstairs determines that in his own way." "Okay.....but why does this waiting area look like it's from Mass Effect and why are you guys characters from the game?" "Because if we show our true form, it will kinda freak you out a bit. Sure every other being in existence thinks they can handle the sight of us without getting scarred or nervous, but they never do. It's best we are in a form and place you know and not to mention comfortable with. You've kinda been through enough Konrad." Taking a look around the room, Konrad realized that it was indeed a relaxing place. Everything about it was nothing but pure luxury and relaxation albeit with a few reminders that it was indeed a Captain's Cabin. The seat that Konrad was sitting in was indeed a comforting chair and laid back into it. With some soreness and pain, Konrad found a comfortable spot and did his best to take a breather. Looking at the glass, he saw that it was once again empty and was about to make a request before he felt the weight change. It no loner had been but as now replaced with a nice glass of cold water. Drinking the refreshing beverage, Konrad smile as the sides of the water poured down the sides of his mouth. The feeling of the water was probably one of the best things he got to experience so far. "Wow, I'll never take water for granted ever again. I almost died and drinking water is almost as good as having...." Konrad stopped his thoughts in it's track, as he shifted his eyes over to the now smirking angels. With some blushing, Konrad remembered that they could still read his mind and let his thought die out. Finishing the glass of water, the tired and wounded young man wiped his cheeks with his non injured arm. Holding the glass in his lap, Konrad felt the weight change once more, meaning it had been refilled. Taking a breath, the young man asked, "Alright....let me ask another one then. Why am I here? I mean, it looked like I was going to get turned to stone with...." Konrad looked around trying to see any trace of Ruby and Mitta, but couldn't see them anywhere in the room. Starting to panic, he began to worry what happened to them. "Where are they?! Are they stone?! Where-" Suddenly appearing next to him, Jane put a hand on his shoulder. Snapping him out of his panic, Jane answered, "They're fine kid, they won't suffer anymore." Right eye twitching, Konrad turned to her and looked straight in the eyes and yelled, "I'M 24!! NOT A DAMN KID!!" Chuckling, Jane turned to John and asked, "Damn John! You're assignment is a pretty loud one. He always been like that?" "Nope, he was pretty chill as a kid for the most part. Now he's a man!" Both Jone and Jane laughed at Konrad's expense making the "man" facepalm. "Oh relax Konrad we're just messing with you! Don't get all sore about it." "Fine, just...tell me what happened to me. Why did I wind up in Equestria? And what do you mean assignment?" "Well Konrad, since we've pretty much confirmed to you that there is a heaven and hell, we have to tell why there is an Equestria, but I'm sure you'd like to take a guess." Pointing a finger at John, Konrad simply said," "No, no guesses, no jokes, just tell it to me as it is. I'm done with this. I'm hurt, I'm hungry, I'm tired, I'm stressed, and I don't understand because I'm just clearly a mortal in a big grand scheme of life and afterlife. Just plain tell me "John". Looking at Jane, who simply nodded, John took a breath and looked straight at Konrad. "I'm your Guardian Angel Konrad, I've been watching you since your birth. Every person, pony, etc has one. Our job is to guide to and protect you the best way we can, but ultimately your path to heaven or hell is determined by the individual. The-" "Wait?! Ponies too? But how can-" Using his hand in stopping gesture, John was able to stop Konrad from interrupting and continued his explanation. "Multiverse Konrad, Multiverse." As if someone had said racist joke in public, the entire room went silent. The young man was in utter disbelief that existence as he knew if was simply the multiverse, utterly changing his understanding of the meaning infinity. "Multiverse?" Both John and Jane nodded their heads in confirmation at Konrad. "Really? Seriously? You mean to tell me that their are many universes everywhere and shit?" "Pretty much, Konrad" said Jane. "So...Story of the Blanks is canon?" "No Konrad, that's the Story of the Blanks verse...well dimension I should say.." Shaking his head at his struggling comprehension, Konrad asked, "So there are many dimensions of a particular verse I take it?" "Pretty much Konrad. You see there are many universes of existence and many dimensions of that particular universe. For example, you're aware of what Rule 63 is right?" asked John. Scratching his head, Konrad did his best to remember what Rule 63 was. As if it hit him like a ton of bricks, Konrad recited the rule, "For every given male character, there is a female version of that character; conversely for every given female character, there is a male version of that character." "Yeah, that's an example of a different dimension of a particular verse. Don't get us wrong though, the multiverse is NOT the internet. That was simply just an example." "Ohh okay. That makes sense....I think." replied Konrad drinking some more water. "I think my head is going to hurt for a long time." "And that rule also applies to you as well." winked Jane. Spitting out his water, Konrad's eye widened. The information that there was a female version of him blew his mind. Numerous questions surged through his mind but one particular popped into his mind. He had to know since it was very important and vital information to any male, Human or pony. "Is she hot?" asked Konrad. Both John and Jane laughed at the very masculine nature of his question. Feeling a bit embarrassed, the young man blushed and did his best to recover. "What?! I mean c'mon! You can't blame me for being curious." "No Konrad, we don't blame you at all. In fact..." A flash of light came from the bed, catching Konrad's attention. On the bed was something that Konrad himself couldn't believe anymore than the first time he saw Ruby. A young woman laid on the bed wearing the same camo suit as Konrad. Her suit was just as dirty, had the same tear on the left arm with blood around the opening, and the same horse shoe mark on her forehead that Konrad had received from Blood Clop. The young woman laying on the bed began to stir about before waking up. Moaning in pain the woman got up from the bed and seemed to begin taking in her surroundings as she struggled to open her eyes. Limping away from the bed, the female Konrad opened her eyes completely and went wide she made eye contact with Konrad. The young man stood up from his chair and walked towards her to get a better look. The young woman was indeed, despite her current appearance, very attractive to him. "Oh...my...god...hot hot hot! Blue eyes, nice pony tail heheh...and more importantly, nice rack! I feel very bad, this is like I'm thinking my sister is hot or something. Wonder what she's thinking-" Without warning the female version of Konrad screamed a howling noise of panic before doing something that was sure to ruin any man's day. She kicked him in the balls. KICK! "GAAAAAAAAAH! BITCH!" Konrad was on the ground writhing in pain as the female version of Konrad screamed, "WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE!? WHY AM I QUANTUM FUCKING LEAPING EVERYWHERE?!" "Wow, she's just like him isn't she?" asked John. "Pretty much, it was funny to hear what she thought of him." "WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU GUYS?! AND WHO IS HE!?" shouted the female Konrad as she pointed a finger at her male counterpart. "Looks like our counterparts picked the wrong room, they should be here any second now." With two flashes, two very similar, but different versions of Jane and John appeared behind the female Konrad. Hearing the flash and still scared out of her mind, the female Konrad turned around at the new arrivals, attempting to attack them. She didn't even get a punch at them before being flashed out of existence and was no longer in the room. The new pair of Shepards appeared to have a look of embarrassment on their faces as they asked, "You won't tell anybody about this will you? We're breaking so many-" Interrupting the new John, the original Jane replied, "No problem, were doing the same thing too. We'll get cast down if we do." "-rules....okay then." The two angels immediately disappeared as quickly as they had appeared. The room was now filled with the sound of an agonizing man on the floor. John materialized another glass of ale on the table in anticipation of the young man wanting it. After a few minutes of moaning in pain. Konrad slowly got while "holding" himself, and carefully sat down. As the pain began to subside, Konrad reached for the drink and slowly took a sip of it before asking, "Okay......apparently the fem version of me is a bitch. A hot one....but damn what a bitch!" "Oh relax Konrad, Katja was just as freaked out as you were when you woke up. You two would get a long very well in real life, like brother and sister." "Yeah...sure. Is an ice pack asking for too much?" Materializing out of thin air, and Ice Pack appeared on the table and the young man immediately grabbed the pack. The cooling temperature helped ease the pain further, giving him much needed relief. Taking a few more sips of his drink, Konrad asked, "Okay, well that gives me a little bit of a better understanding of why Equestria exists, but it doesn't explain why I was there in the first place. I mean I was just going on a shooting trip to get away from Raccoon City. That place is has been going to hell recently with all those cannibal murders and whatnot." Walking back to the couch, John and Jane sat down and looked at each other as if they were mentally arguing who was going to tell him the answer. After a silent consensus was made, John answered, "You're were brought there to get rid of the Blood Hooves. They would have kept going and going had they not have bee stopped, and evil would have eventually have taken a foot, I mean, Hoof hold of that place." Spitting out his ale, Konrad asked, "Wait, what?!" "You were brought there because-" "To get rid of them, okay. I understand that but WHY me?!" "Because you're a brony. You already had knowledge of Equestria, was familiar of the Blood Hooves, and knew how to take care of yourself. It made sense really." Rubbing his temples after setting the glass of ale down, the young man did his best to try and comprehend what was being told to him. Here they were, Angels from a seemingly vast, complex, and infinite realms of existence telling him he was brought here to be some sort of hero. The whole idea that him of all people could be some sort of was something he just didn't see. He was just a guy who loved guns paying his homage to America of blowing off some rounds and going home to drink and eat some good food. Never could he see himself going to a world that apparently was not fictional fighting the undead of Equine characters based off of a girl's tv show. "Gaahh!!! This doesn't make any sense?! I was brought there because of that?! Fucking really?!" "Yes Konrad. Really." "Oh okay then, well now that the job is complete I get to go home right?.......Right?!" Both John and Jane looked at each other with painful looks before turning back to Konrad. They both gave him looks of sympathy before Jane answered, "I'm sorry Konrad but you can't. It's really not in your best interests." In an instant, Konrad grabbed the glass of ale and threw it at the wall above both John and Jane. The glass shattered everywhere but somehow managed to avoid all of the room's occupants. Despite the man's pain of his bruises, cuts, and aches, Konrad stood up and shouted, "WHY CAN'T I GO FUCKING HOME!? THIS IS FUCKING HORSESHIT!" "NOT GOING HOME?! NO NO NO! I'm going to tear this fucking room up!" With every painful step, Konrad made his way towards Commander Shepard's Desk. Taking the chair next to the desk, he picked it up and busted the glass panel housing the models of various space ships. "Because Raccoon City is currently being overrun by zombies and other monsters Konrad and they are far worse than the Blood Hooves." answered John. "Oh worse huh? Well that's just la de da fucking great! Oh hey look everybody! It's the SR-1! Let's go plot a course to planet fuck my life!" The model was thrown across the room making an impressive distance before crashing on the floor and shattering in pieces. "Oops! Don't worry folks! There's plenty more where that came from! So zombies on the city huh?! They exist in the real world? That's just great! Why can't you just drop me off at Silent Hill then?!" "Because of.....well kind of the same thing, except with a more occult twist. You definitely don't want to go back." The model of the SR-2 Normandy was picked up and tossed across the room in the same direction with even more force thatn the last model. The model instead was picked out of the air by Jane and was set on the table in front of the couch safely resting next to his glass of ale. "Woah! Nice catch! Guess the crew didn't die on that play through! Well, that would explain why every time I went to that town it was always creepy as hell. The people were weird, fog was always there for some reason, and my damn radio always these weird sounds. So occultish huh? I don't even want to know about that place then." "Trust us, you don't want to." answered Jane who pulled out a glass of red wine from thin air. "What the fuck is with my life?! Was I just plain destined to get fucked?! If these guys are telling the truth..." "Show me." Both John and Jane looked at each other with unease before scratching the back of their heads. "I don't think that's a good-" said John. "Show me." repeated Konrad. "Look Konrad, it's going to break your heart if you see-" "Showmeshowmeshowme!! I deserve to see it with me own eyes! If I'm not going back home, I deserve to see if it's really gone to hell." Jane looked at John before the male angel shrugged and said, "Go ahead, he asked for it." With look of apprehension, Jane flicked her wrist and a screen of Raccoon City appeared right in front of Konrad. What he saw horrified him. It was an live image of a police blockade on main street unloading many rounds of ammunition against a hoard of zombies. Many of them fell only to be replaced by more and more of the undead.. Many of them fell only to be replaced by more and more of the undead. Konrad couldn't believe the sight before him as it was bad enough to be torn from his own reality it was another to see it fall apart. The police blockade did it's best to resist the oncoming horde but its efforts were all in vain. The police line fell within a minute and Konrad watched as many police officers were eaten alive. Konrad tried to avert his eyes but found that he couldn't. The screen had changed to an image of a police officer and a young woman running through the streets attempting to find a vehicle. Konrad had recognized him as the same officer who gave him a speeding ticket earlier in the day. "Woah! That newbie cop apparently has it WAY worse than me." "He's going to get it worse later on. Be glad you aren't there for it." said John. "At least he's got that chick with him. DAYUM! She's so fine!" The screen then changed to an image of Silent Hill showing a man running through the middle of the street. The man tripped on the ground and was struggling to get back up, looking behind him with fear. Konrad watched as the fog behind the man slowly turned to darkness and the background slowly turn into what appeared to be many rusted gates with blood all over the place. Even the road was nothing more than a rusty platform with the occasional break in the links. The background noise was suddenly replaced with the howling sound of the town's siren, as if it was warning people of a great storm. The man got up and immediately raised his pistol in the general direction of the oncoming darkness, fearful of what lay in it. The sound of a pitch noise coming from a portable radio in the man's left hand sent shivers down Konrad's spine. He had heard that very same noise from the his Bronco's radio several times, never knowing what the cause of it was. The man who Konrad recognized as the very same man trying to find his daughter earlier in the day turned towards the opposite direction of the darkness and bolted as fast as he could. The screen before him faded away leaving nothing but the silence that now permeated the room. The young man had seen his own world go to hell, filled with monsters far worse than the Blood Hooves that he had faced earlier in the night. No more would her get to go back to Raccoon City, no more would he get to go to his own kind, and no more would he see his family. It was insult to injury for Konrad and it was by far the very last straw. In a fit of rage, he grabbed everything and anything he could and tossed it across the room. "Fucking shitty luck of mine! Fucking zombie faggotry! FUCK THIS SHIT!" The remaining models above the desk were thrown everywhere, shattering and spreading tiny pieces everywhere. Eying the fish tank, Konrad picked up the desk chair and threw it. The tank shattered and spilled water all over the place causing the fish to flop about on the ground. Both John and Jane looked with pity at the man losing everything. After a few minutes of further yelling and cursing, Konrad sat against a wall and covered his face to prevent the angels from seeing him cry. "My life is done for! What the fuck am I supposed to do now?! Mom...Dad...they're gone! I'm not going to see them anymore!" John walked over the young man and put a hand on his shoulder. "Look Konrad, that place was going to go to hell and there was a high chance you were going to die. I had to do something to get you out of there, even if it meant taking you from your universe." Konrad suddenly put his hands down and looked at the Angel with tears on his face. The only thing Konrad could ask was, "What?" "I said, I had to get you out of there, even if it meant breaking the rules." "Woah, hold on....so it wasn't Ruby that brought me there?" "Umm not quite." "Not quite? Explain." "You see, we have the ability to temporarily open holes between verses, it's how we move about in the multiverse. So in order to get you out of there, I had to pretty much nudge you into leaving Raccoon City for your shooting trip. Once you were there, I opened up a tiny hole for Ruby to see you. She's a very interesting ghost, some ghosts have abilities that are amplified when they become spirits. Hers just happened to be finding things and when she found you, we simply just let the door open for her to take you. Was even better that she likes humans from her bedtime stories that just made dangling the carrot on the stick even sweeter." "So.....pretty much you manipulated me to be her hero in Story of the Blanks?" "And Luna's! Go Team Luna!" cheered Jane. "Huh?" asked a confused Kornad. "Uh, we'll explain that in a minute. But yeah, pretty much. You had the guns, the skills, the knowledge of Equestria, even that particular dimension of that verse too! And with Raccoon City going to hell, there was no point in you staying. It all made sense really." Getting up with pain, Konrad walked over to the couch and sat down after shoving broken pieces of the models aside. Before him was a new glass of ale that he gladly took with his good arm. After taking some more, he set in in his lap and looked at John, "So pretty much I was screwed huh?" "Yes you were, and after watching over you your whole life, I did the best thing I could to keep you alive. Even if that meant breaking rules." "What rules? I take it you can't take people between universes?" "Nope, not at all, unless specifically approved to do so." answered Jane "I see...so you're my Guardian Angel huh? That was you talking to me in my head the whole night?" "Yup, that was me. That voice of reason yo hear in your head? That's us trying to steer you in the right direction from evil." "Evil huh? I take it there are demons?" "Yeah, Angels aren't the only ones known for interfering from time to time, demon's are everywhere doing the Satan's work. They made be in public in some universes, or they maybe working from the shadows. Point is they are always there and they are always trying to ruin every good thing in the world. Do you think the curse of Sunny Town came from nowhere? Did you think that Gray Hoof could do all that himself?" "No...you're right. So that WAS a demon that tried to possess me. Why did it sound like harbinger? And how did the curse come about?" "It probably came from one of the dimensions in the Mass Effect verse. Sometimes demons get carried away from their roles a bit too much. And the demon pretty much took advantage of Gray Hoof's fear and essentially caused him to sell his soul so to speak. When Gray Hoof ordered the murder, and committed it, he essentially opened himself up to be a vessel for the demon. And when he did that, the demon used it's power to curse all of Sunny Town, using the template of Story of the Blanks fan game as a basis." "Wow....that's a lot to take it. So that's how the curse came about." "Yeah pretty much." "But I don't understand, if Ruby was ghost, how could she have a body then?" "The demon needs a constant source of suffering. It probably tried to use Ruby as a source of anger and vengeance but chances are Ruby said no. Seeing as Ruby wouldn't be a tool, it grabbed her soul with a tethering trick. Demon's can't control the souls on the innocent after they die but that can keep them in limbo with a curse. Her Guardian might not have been strong enough or experienced enough to help. Her Guardian probably helped her in other means that we don't know about." "Damn....that sucks. At least that bitch's curse is broken. Now Ruby can't suffer anymore." "Exactly, and it's all thanks to you!" "Hold on a second! There's a Mass Effect verse?" "Multiverse Konrad, of course there is. Why wouldn't there be?" Shrugging his shoulders Konrad replied, "I dunno, just still new to the concept I guess. So there are Angels and Demons everywhere engaging in some sort of chess game with many people, ponies, and etc everywhere?" "Pretty much Konrad, this Battle you had is just a tiny little spec compared to the grander struggles out there. It's a constant battle of Good vs Evil, and sometimes rules are broken." "I take it you broke a lot of them to keep be away from the bigger battles?" "Pretty much yes, what we did was not approved and if we got caught we would have been cast down as mortals and left to pick up our own pieces. Not a good outcome but a price we were willing to pay. And I like you Konrad, you're one the most interesting assignments I've ever had. So if I had to break a lot of rules to put you in a new place that would have given you the best chance of survival and happiness, then I'd risk my wings to put you there." "Well, I guess it's better to be in Equestria's hell vs the real world's hell. I'll definitely take the little kid's ride over the shifty adult roller coaster." "Well, I'm pretty fucking pissed I got taken away from my world but then again since it's gone to hell, I can't really get too butt hurt about it. You did "technically" save my life. Now I just have one question....what happens to me now?" Both John and Jane instantly with Jane jumping up and down cheering, "Yea! Finally we get to this part! I have to know who he cho-" "Hold on, we have to tell him his options first. Team Luna can wait." "No they can't! We have to know now!" "Know what? Da hell y'all talking about?" asked a confused Konrad. "We'll get to that in a minute but right now Konrad, it's time for a choose you're own ending, or should I say beginning?" "Should you I say? What do you mean? It sounds like my life may end on one of these...." "Err...depends on what you pick." "Aggh! Alright, let's get this over with. What are my options?" Putting both of his hands on his face once more, Konrad groaned in both physical and emotional pain. He was about to hear his options of how he could proceed with his life. The choices he would make would alter his life forever. "Well, obviously you can't go back home for....various reasons. So...we can-" "Send him back to Equestria for Team Luna! Huzzah!" cheered Jane. Before Konrad and John was the Guardian Angel of Princess Luna dressed as a cheerleader shaking blue pom poms and wearing a skirt bearing Luna's cutie mark. The sight of a female Shepard in a Princess Luna cheerleader outfit was both ridiculous and arousing to him. "Hehehe, Huzzah indeed!" "Okay, that's something for sure. So you're suggesting I should go back and shack up with Princess Luna?" "YES!" shouted Jane. "Woah, she really wants me to be with Luna! I wonder why?" "Umm, why do you want me to go back to Equestria and pick Luna?" "Because she's my assignment! I've been watching her forever, and she needs a good man in her life! No other stallion has ever cut it for her. And her happiness is my concern. If I think you would be good for her, then so should you!" "But I'm a human, not to mention NOT immortal. Isn't that a problem?" "Eh, it's just a minor one Konrad. Besides I know that's not an issue with you. You're totally open to it! Don’t lie." Smiled Jane. The young man's face blushed in embarrassment at the prospect being with a mare, especially Princess Luna. "Awww, he's blushing! He likes her too! C'mon bud, don't feel bad about it. You two are nothing but mammals so-" Pointing a finger at Jane, Konrad demanded, "Do not finish that Bad Touch reference. I'm not in the mood for it." Flipping Konrad off, Jane flashed into her normal Mass Effect attire leaving Konrad disappointed. “I said don’t make that reference, didn’t say you had to change clothes.” “Nope, no more Cheerleader outfit for you!” said Jane while sticking out her tongue. “Damn….anyway, so you said I could choose to live in Equestria? Really?” “Yup, that’s one of them.” answered John. “You’re not going to say I’ll have to change into a pony or something like that right?” “NO!” shouted both John and Jane. Konrad’s eyes widened in surprise not at the sound of their shouts but at their disapproval of him becoming a pony. This pleased Konrad as there was no way he would ever want to change the way he was. He loved ponies but he loved being Human even more. Having thumbs was a good advantage as well and he couldn’t ever imagine losing those ever. “Good, so I can choose to live in Equestria, and hope Princess Celestia and Pony kind accept me.” “Oh they will Konrad, you did save Princess Luna and Apple Bloom, that’s going to go very far for you. Now it won’t be easy though, you’re essentially the unicorn of Equestria so to speak. Humans are a myth there after all.” Hearing that last sentence reminded Konrad of that unique issue, and that was explaining to the ponies the mysteries to Humanity. He was reminded of the fact that Humanity was nothing more than a myth and that his existence in Equestria would cause quite the stir if it hadn’t already. If he were to meet the ponies once more, he had no doubt that he would have to explain and answer questions about Human history, and a lot of it would be flat out lies, if not half-truths at best. “Oh great! If I go back they’re going to want to know all about humans! I can imagine Twilight Sparkle asking me a ton of shit like, ”Where are the rest of the Humans? What’s your technology like? Can humans use magic? Blah blah blah.” “Oh that’s so going to happen. As annoying as she may be, you should totally have fun with that one.” “Yeah but it seems kinda cliché and what not. Human goes there, jokes about humans taking advantage of ponies ignorance because they don’t know any better. I mean, I’m the guy who loves being a human and loves his life in the normal world. I’m not some whiney faggot who wants to live there because the cartoon portrays it as a paradise.” “We know bud, but you don’t have a whole lot of options. It’s better than what you saw.” Grabbing the rest of his ale, Konrad gulped it down and let out a hearty belch. The prospect of living among the ponies as the only human would certainly be an interesting life to live. He had no idea what to expect and he knew there certainly would be problems adjusting to Equestrian life. “Well if I can get through this night, I’m sure I can adapt to living amongst the ponies. Apple Bloom loves me, and Princess Luna apparently likes me too. So much to the point of fighting a ghost over me, speaking of which…” “Ruby! What about Ruby and Mitta? You said they were passing on?!” “Yes Konrad, their time is up. Now that they aren’t held to the earth by the curse, they can rest in peace.” Konrad instantly became depressed at the prospect of never seeing Ruby and Mitta every again. While meeting Ruby was a very awkward experience, the more time he spent with her, the more he learned what an awesome mare she was. She was tough, she was great to talk to, she stood by him no matter what, she was practical, she had a nice “plot”, and more importantly, she loved him. There was no denying it, she truly loved him, and Konrad could see that. He had always wanted an equal partner he and she was more than that. She stood by him in every fight they encountered and helped him when he needed her help. And the more time he spent with her, the more he enjoyed her company. It didn’t even matter that she was a pony, and neither did it matter to her that she was a human. “Oh my god! Ruby…she…I…shit! I hate this crap!” “She’s going to pass on…and I’ll never see her again….pour me another one please.” spoke a sad Konrad. John obeyed his wish with sad look while Jane looked at Konrad with a displeased look. Taking the newly refilled glass, Konrad drank it slowly as he contemplated the reality of not seeing Ruby ever again. “The first pony I ever saw, and the last one I saw. I held her at the very last moment before I vanished. She truly loved me for me. Who wouldn’t want somepony awesome like that?” “Well Konrad, there IS was way you can see her again.” “WHAT?!” shouted both Konrad and Jane. Crossing his arms in a smile, John replied, “Yup, totally can, but I warn you, it’s part of your choice of what you want to do with your life. And once you make that decision, you can’t go back.” “NO! Don’t tell him! Don’t give him that choice!” pleaded Jane. “Sorry, but it’s his choice. He has every right to if he wants that route.” Holding up a hand to get his Guardian Angel’s attention, Konrad asked, “Wait, what do you mean, if I want that route?” Struggling to come up with a way to tell him, John simply said, “Essentially, you go to heaven with Ruby. Your life will be over but you will be in heaven with a mare that loves you with her heart, and you will get eternal life.” “NO! Do NOT pick that one! Luna needs-“ “Look my friend, Konrad may not even want to live in Equestria, he’s already said he wasn’t wild about living there. Besides, it’s heaven with a mare that he clearly has feelings for. Not every brony wants to live in Equestria as the only human.” “Hmph! Konrad, she wants you, has your back, has many benefits, and you’d be an idiot to sell your life short for an early spot in heaven for a simple backwater mare.” said Jane before going into a pout. That set Konrad off, so much that the man could not contain his temper, which was expressed by throwing his glass of ale at the angel of Princess Luna. The glass hit her directly on the forehead and shattered into pieces while spilling ale all over the place. “I don’t care who you are, or what you can do. You will NEVER, EVER, insult Ruby like that ever again! She’s been through enough that she doesn’t need your shit! So shut the fuck up!” shouted Konrad while pointing a finger at Jane. All of a sudden, bright white wings appeared and unfolded from Jane’s back, and a fierce Sword of Fire appeared in her right hand. “You know, if you want that choice I can fulfill it for you.” “Children, settle down. And Jane, ease up. You’re just pressing him to make the decision you don’t want him to make. It’s his life, and we did bring him into this situation. He has every right to choose his way out of it.” The Angel in the form of Jane Shepard simply glared at Konrad for a few seconds before making her wings disappear as well as her weapon. With a flash, her appearance was as clean and normal as he first saw her, but her look of displeasure was still there. Looking back at John, Konrad asked, “So you’re saying I can choose to go to heaven? Like straight away? But how? I didn’t die.” “Technically you didn’t but we can take you to heaven because your name is currently on the book of life. When you’re name is on it, you go to heaven. And before you ask or wonder about it, we didn’t put your name there. Only God gets to put your name there.” The weight of the John’s statement sank in deeply. The young man had found out that he had a spot in heaven, eternal paradise with the bonus that the mare who loved him has a ride along with him. Konrad also couldn’t deny that he deeply cared for Ruby and to have her with him in heaven just made that choice even more tempting. “A spot in heaven for me? With Ruby? I don’t even know if I can adapt to Equestria! There’s going to be differences and not to mention I may have to lie about where I truly came from for life! And gong there with Princess Luna wanting me isn’t a guarantee she won’t trade me for a stallion down the road. I’m not Prince material at all! Does that even matter to her about my status even if me being a human doesn’t matter? And I’ll grow old as shit while she stays the same, but with Ruby, it’s guaranteed…forever!” “Wow….I don’t even…know what to say about all this. I want to live but to live in Equestria, there’s no safety guaranteed and I don’t want to be the only human where nopony can’t relate to me.” “Konrad, even though you’re from a different verse, you’re not THAT different. There’s a lot more similarities than you think. And trust me, you can and will adapt when you go there. And you’re right, there aren’t any guarantees it will work out the way you want it to but then again life never has any.” said John. “Well, he’s got a point. Take a shot at living in Equestria, and hope for the best life….or go to a sure thing and end it early.” “Ruby and Princess Luna are awesome mares aren’t they?” asked Konrad. “Yup they sure are and I can tell you have feelings for both.” “Yeah they sure-“ “OH C’mon already!” shouted Jane. “Woah!” said both Konrad and John. “I can’t take this suspense anymore! Who did you pick?!” “Wha-what?!” asked Konrad. Jane immediately flashed right next to Konrad and grabbed his arms in a vice like grip. “OUCH! Strong grip!” “Let go of my left arm! It fucking hurts!” “Not until you tell me who you picked! Was it Luna!? It has to be Luna, can’t be Ruby! Tell me! Tell me! TELL ME!” “HEY! Let him go! You’re hurting him!” Jane immediately let go of Konrad but did not give the man any space. The angel seemed intent on finding out Konrad’s choice of mare. And there was no way he would get out of answering it. “Well……I picked Luna.” said Konrad. “WOOHOO!!!” shouted Jane. In a flash of light, Jane was once again in her Princess Luna cheerleader outfit while jumping on the bed. “YES YES YES! Team Luna go! Team Luna for the win!” shouted Jane as she continuously cheered for Luna. “Wow, she’s really about me picking Luna.” “Well she is her Guardian Angel and she did watch her while she was on the moon was Nightmare Moon. That wasn’t easy for her.” “Ouch, that must have sucked.” “You’re with you assignment during every part of their life, and it’s hard to not get attached to who you’re assigned to. It’s understandable really, though it sounded like you had more to say.” “Yeah, I do. I changed my mind later in the night though.” The cheerleading angel suddenly froze in midair as if she were a Warner Brothers cartoon and stared directly at Konrad. The look on her face was that of a child learning that Santa Claus did not exist. “Woah….WHAT?!” “Oh no here we go!” facepalmed John. “YOU CHANGED YOUR MIND!? WHAT THE-“ “Don’t do it.” interrupted John. “SMURF! You picked Ruby over Luna!? WHY?!” asked Jane with a look of Rage on her face. “Oh shit….well might was well say why.” “Well…I can relate to Ruby a lot more than Luna, but that’s not the main reason. I got to know more about her as the night went on and she just…well…was just plain awesome. She stood by me no matter what, and really seemed to care about me. I mean hell, I’m surprised I’m even attractive to a pony at all! But that didn’t matter to her! She was always loyal to me, never abandoned me, thought I was hot, and was freaking awesome partner whether I was in a fight nor not. That’s somebody, er, somepony you just don’t meet every day even if they are a ghost! So yeah, that’s why I changed my mind.” “Awww….those are good reasons, but what about-“ “Luna? Oh there’s nothing wrong with her, she’s beautiful, not a useless damsel in distress, very honorable, and a great Princess. It’s just well…I guess there was more to her but I didn’t get much of a chance to know her more on an intimate level than I did with Ruby. Also, us being of different culture classes didn’t help.” “Oh don’t be stupid Konrad, she didn’t think anything of your class when fell for you!” “Woah wait a minute.she fell for me?! As in…” “In love Konrad…” said Jane as she facepalmed ,”In love with you. I know this because I’m her Guardian Angel.” “Freaking Princess Luna is in love with me? And not just a Princess crush because I rescued her?! Woah…..this is something. I always wanted women to fight and love me, but I never thought it would be mares! Still I shouldn’t complain at all, not that I am of course!” “Wow….that’s something alright.” “Something?! Do you have any idea how many stallions she’s turned down?! A lot buddy and you made the cut despite not being one. I know that I’ve said this before and it may come off as being selfish and pushy but you would make a big mistake in not picking her.” “Either way, making a choice on how you want to proceed with your life directly affects your choice in mares. So what’s it going to be Konrad? Stay in Equestria and pursue Princess Luna or go to heaven with Ruby.” “OOHHHH!!! Damn this is a big decision….now I don’t know what I want!” said Konrad as he put his hands over his face. Jane facepalmed while John shrugged. “I know Konrad, it’s a tough choice but you’ll have to make one. You can’t be in the waiting room forever and even though I’m sure you love us, you don’t want to spend the rest of your life with us.” “Yeah you’re right but I think I might be able to come to a decision better.” “How?” asked Jane. “Bring that sexy body of yours and give the best Princess Luna cheer dance you can give me!” The only thing Konrad got for his trouble was a slap to the back of the head as Jane teleported next to him. SLAP! “Agh! It was a joke! Geez!” said Konrad as he rubbed the back of his head. Jane simply smirked while John simply shrugged before asking, “Well Konrad, what’s it going to be? I don’t want to rush you but you really need to make a decision.” “Just give me one minute.” asked Konrad. “Sure but only one minute.” Answered John. And it would be the longest minute Konrad ever had. He sat on that couch and weighed the pros and cons of both decisions, wondering which one would truly be in his best interests. He had to not only weigh how it would affect him but also of Equestria, as well as the feelings of the mares in question. “Damn…if only there was more than one outcome. I love both of them but I can’t choose both and even if I could have both of them, it wouldn’t seem right to me. Hate me all you want folks who’d choose both but I can’t do it. And there’s no way in hell they’d share me either. So, eternal life or a new beginning? Hmm…” Clapping his hand together, Konrad looked at John and said, “I’m done.” “That you are.” answered John. “And I made my decision.” said Konrad as he stood up. “That you have, anything else before we get started?” said John as he walked closer to Konrad. “Yes? Anything else?” asked Jane. Taking a deep breath, Konrad cleared his mind before making his one last request. “Can you give me a Cheeseburger? There’s no way I’m ever going to get one after I leave.” Both John and Jane gave Konrad a blank look as he gave the angels the biggest shit eating grin he could muster. Both Angels face palmed before Konrad said, “What?! Those are good! I don’t care who you are, but this ‘murican needs his last fixin’!” “Konrad…”said both John and Jane in a disappointed tone. “Okay okay!.....I’m ready. Let’s do this! Leeroy-“ In a flash Konrad was gone, and was taken to where he had chose to be. "Wow, Konrad certainly is a character alright. A bit annoying if you ask me." said Jane. "Hey, as far characters go, he's not bad." "He's a bit Gary Stu-ish though." Crossing his arms, John gave Jane an unamused look and said, "He's not a Gary Stu, he screwed up plenty of times. Besides, he did good, and that's all I care about." "Eh, whatever." shrugged Jane. "I loved how he thought his universe was the "real" one." John laughed as he produced a copy of an old game disc reminiscent of the 90's. As both angels looked at it the cover, they laughed before John said, "Yeah, "real" world alright. He has no idea how lucky he is to get the hell out of that one. He'd lose his mind if he saw this." John and Jane both continued to laugh before vanishing away from the waiting room. Unknown to them however, another Guardian had witnessed the entire spectacle and was displeased with the manipulation before him. He was even more displeased at how his assignment had been belittled and talked about as if she was nothing more than a pawn for their own scheme. If he had anything to say about it, he would make a deal of his own between them to ensure his assignment would get a happy outcome regardless of what Konrad had chose. And if they didn't play ball, a little whistle blowing was in store for them. The Life and Love of a human and two mares had yet to be resolved.