Sam and Quick Stitch got off of the train, Sam yawning slightly as he took in the morning sun.
“Damn it feels so early.” He muttered.
“It's 10 in the morning.” Quick replied.
“What can I say? I like my bed.” He replied with a grin. They made their way out of Canterlot station and were greeted my the sight of large white buildings. Sam couldn't help but suddenly feel out of place.
“What do you think of Canterlot Sam? This is your first time here isn't it?”
“Yeah, it... looks great. I feel like I'm surrounded by nobles.”
“Kind of, they live in the upper part of town. These are the upper class, I live down town myself. Canterlot is divided into down town, up town, the noble sector and the market district.”
“Oh right, so which way to your place?”
“Follow me.” Quick Stitch lead the way and Sam followed compliantly, taking in the town's atmosphere. Many well dressed ponies walked around the town, carrying themselves with grace as they started their daily duties. The large white buildings eventually began to vanish from view as they made their way down town, the buildings still looked rather nice but they didn't compare to the ones before. Pristine buildings eventually turned to housing that reminded Sam slightly of London, it still looked good but there was a slight feeling of neglect compared to where they had come from.
Quick Stitch waved to a few of the passer bys she recognised, smiling as they waved back. It wasn't long before they ended up outside a light grey brick house, the sign on the mailbox outside read “Stitch”.
“Well hello there deary.” A voice called to them. The two looked next door to see an old, grey maned mare with a dark yellow pelt while wearing a long frilly dress.
“Hello there Sugar Blossom. How are you today?” Quick Stitch asked with a smile.
“Well I'm just dandy, who's your colt friend? And who shaved him?” Sugar Blossom asked. Quick Stitch went bright red and Same just coughed uncomfortably.
“Errrm, we aren't like that Miss Blossom. Also, I'm not a pony, I'm a human.” Sam interjected.
“A hoo-man? What in Equestria is that? You in some kind of cult, colt?” She asked with a scrutinizing gaze.
“Of course not, a human is my race. We're like hairless but intelligent primates.”
“Now that's just silly, cut out that monkey business.”
“... You're telling a joke, right?” Before she had time to answer, Quick Stitch grabbed hold of Sam's wrist and smiled nervously.
“We better get going now Miss B, I'll talk to you later.” She said before dragging Sam inside.
“Of course, take care now!” Sugar Blossom shouted before she began muttering to herself. “Poor colt, probably lost his mind along with his fur... Nice flanks though.”
Sam didn't know why but for some odd reason, he felt a shiver run up his spine. “The hell? I feel like I was just violated... and not in the good way.” He muttered.
“What?”
“Nevermind, who was that?”
“Oh, that was my neighbour Sugar Blossom. She's lived around here longer than I have with her husband, Honey Blossom. She... likes to be very nosy about my business a lot of the time, treats me like a little kid sometimes.” Quick Stitch said with a chuckle. “Ok then. Let me go get changed then we'll head out, I have a few ideas of where we could find you some work.”
XXX
“So what's this place called again?” Sam asked. He and Quick Stitch were standing outside a two story building that looked like it was made of marble, the doors and windows were lined with a golden material while there was a wooden balcony on the second floor as well as a wooden platform outside of the front, both with tables and chairs set out on them.
“The Golden Truffle. It's a nice little café and I heard recently that it needed somepony to take the place of an assistant chef. Interested?”
Sam shrugged. “Sure, worth a try.” They entered into the building and made their way over to one of the waiters, he pointed them in the direction of the kitchen where they ran into a large tan stallion with a dirty blonde mane and tail, also wearing a chefs outfit.
“Excuse me sir?” Sam asked. The stallion turned round and greeted them with a smile.
“Well hello there boy, the name's Gilded Whisk.”
'Who does this guy remind me of...?' Sam thought to himself.
“What can I do for you? You don't have a complaint do you?” He added. Before Sam could reply, the pony looked over behind himself at another chef and yelled. “Beater! What in Tartarus do you think you're doing?! Those muffins are so undercooked that a parasprite wouldn't even lick them! Go redo them!” The pony panicked and nodded before scurrying off.
“Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, you had a complaint?”
Sam gulped. 'Oh shit... it's Gordan Ramsneigh!' “No, I didn't. I, err, came here looking for a job, I heard you needed an assistant chef?” He asked hesitantly.
“Well it's about bucking time somepony found my ad! What's your name boy? I assume you are a boy?”
“Yes, my name's Sam.”
“Well Sam, I need somepony who can stallion up and get this job done, are you that pony?!”
“I'm not a po-”
“Are you or are you not that pony?!”
“Well yes but I'm no-”
“Are you or are you not that po-”
“Alright! Yes, I'm your fucking pony!”
“Good job! Now get your flank changed into the uniform in the kitchen then wash your hands so we can start your trial!” The stallion put a hand behind the boy and pushed him forward, causing Sam to stumble slightly before making his way to his uniform on the counter.
“Not a fucking pony...” He muttered.
XXX
After having put on his uniform and washed his hands, Sam stood at a counter with Gilded Whisk right beside him.
“Right then, I assume you know how to work an oven?” Whisk asked, gaining a nod from Sam. “Good, now start it up and boil some water on the stove.” Sam sighed and looked down at the dials on the oven.
'This is going to simple and boring as hell.' Or so he thought. He looked at the measurements on the dials and his eyes widened. 'The fuck kind of measurement is TMP?!'
“Come on then, boil the water already! If you can't even boil water then I swear I'll throw you out right now.” Whisk said. Sam gulped and took a guess. He turned the dial a quarter of the way to 200 TMP but nothing happened. “Do you expect the oven to work by magic?!”
“Well, kinda.”
“You haven't turned the oven on you foal.” Whisk grumbled. Another chef came up behind him and grabbed his attention and, while he was turned, Sam found the on button. That allowed Sam to finally see a flame pop out of the stove, unfortunately this also allowed the flame to catch Whisk's tail. Sam just stared in disbelief as his potential boss' tail now acted like an attached torch, he thanked his lucky stars Whisk hadn't noticed.
“You finally got the stove going then?” The head chef said as he turned back around.
“Y-Yeah I d-did.” Sam stuttered.
“Well, then put the water on there already.” Sam nodded, filling up a pan with water while keeping an eye on the fire.
'What the hell am I going to do now?!' He thought to himself as he placed the pan over the open flame.
“Right, next we have to roll out some dough. There's a rolling pin over there, I'll get the dough and flour.” Sam nodded and walked over to another counter to grab the rolling pin. As he turned back, he saw Whisk kneeling down with his still lit tail slowly creeping its way to his backside. Sam hesitantly made his way back to the work station and watched as Whisk sprinkled flour over the work surface before slapping the dough onto it. Sam began rolling the dough while his watcher turned round and began to chop up some vegetables.
'Right then, time to do this. Maybe I can put it out with the flour?' He thought. Sam grabbed some of the flour from the counter and nonchalantly threw it behind him, aiming at the small blaze. The first throw had landed on the floor, the second landed near Whisk's hoof but didn't grab his attention. The third, fourth and fifth had just touched the flame but not enough to put it out. By now Sam felt like the flame was taunting him.
'Right you little bastard, let's see how you like this.' Sam turned on the sink, cupped his hands under the stream of water and turned to face the stallion.
“You done it yet boy?” Whisk said as he turned round. The sudden turn made Sam jump, causing him to fling the water onto his own face. “... Why is your face soaking wet?” Whisk asked.
“Errm... You see I... was just, so happy. So happy that you might let me work here so I umm... splashed myself. To make sure I wasn't dreaming, you know?” Whisk tilted his head sceptically. “Yes! The dough is rolled out now. What should I do next?”
“Well, we need to get some spices while I finish getting the hay ready to be fried. Go get me some lavender petals, daisy extract, a little paprika and some zap apple sauce. They'll be in a cupboard over that way.” He explained, pointing to another part of the kitchen. Sam gave a nod before heading off to find the spices as instructed. He eventually found the spice rack and began collecting the condiments.
“Let's see.” He held up a bottle that contained a few purple leaves. “Lavender, check.” He then found his next spice “Paprika, check.” Eventually a small bottle that contained a liquid rainbow caught his eye. “Zap apple sauce. A rainbow? The fuck is with this? Oh well.” He then eventually found a little red bottle with some of the label ripped off, there was a 'D' he could make out with 'Extract' after it. “Is this it? Didn't expect it to be red. Then again, this apple sauce is a rainbow in a bottle so why not? Besides, I still need to put his tail out.” Sam made sure he had the four bottles before heading back to Whisk.
“I got the spices.” Sam said as he placed them onto the counter. He just caught a glimpse of the embers on Whisk's tail. They had somehow managed to burn through half of his tail without him noticing, though he did seem to sniff the air every now and again.
“Good.” Whisk said. “I've placed the vegetables into the boiling water and the hay fries are being fried at the moment. I'm going to get the pie ready and put it in the oven while you can dampen this cloth and clean the flour off the counter. Also, get a mop and wipe the floor, I can't imagine why the flour got all over there too.” Whisk threw a cloth at Sam and pointed him in the direction of a cupboard.
Sam damped the cloth in the sink and wiped the flour off of the counter. He saw the small fire creeping closer and closer towards his temporary boss' ass. Time was ticking. Sam couldn't help compare it to a fuse on a stick on dynamite, he now thought it might have probably been a good idea to just tell Whisk and find a way of playing it off but there was no turning back now. While the stallion bent over, Sam tried to take his chance and reached out to coat the tail in the damp cloth, just missing as the stallion moved slightly.
“What are you doing boy? The floor's still a mess and you're not going to be able to clean it with a damp cloth, get the mop and bucket!” Whisk ordered. Sam nodded and sped off to get the supplies.
'What the hell am I gonna do? I could get arrested and god knows what else if I don't put him out soon. I need to think of something!' He filled the bucket with warm water and pulled the supplies back to the flour coated floor. He began wiping the floor while keeping an eye on the embers, it wasn't long until most of the flour was clean again but very wet.
“Good, you're almost done. Beater! Get over here!” The stallion bellowed. Another pony in an apron with a blue coat and black mane and tail quickly arrived on the scene. “Go grab a wet floor sign, I don't want any pony slipping up on the floor.” The stallion gave a quick nod before heading off again. Whisk turned his attention back to the counter and an idea spawned in Sam's head. He lifted the mop and pointed the soggy end right at the burning tail. He quickly thrusted forward to try and catch the small flame but missed as Whisk moved to the side to grab a condiment, Sam pulled back and attempted once more but missed as he side stepped again to grab some oil, the another as he reached for the spices Sam got for him earlier.
Sam made attempt after attempt after attempt at trying to strike but Whisk would always move out of the way for one reason or another. After his sixth attempt, Sam finally had one more chance. He aimed carefully for the stallions lighted tail but as he pushed forward, Whisk moved his legs apart as he bent down to place the pie in the oven. There was a squelching sound as the mop slapped the side of the counter. Whisk raised a brow and looked downwards, seeing the mop coming through between his legs. He craned his head round to get a good look at Sam whose face seemed slightly alert but mostly calm.
Sam, however, felt like he was about to shit a house, let alone a brick.
“What in Tartarus are you doing?” He asked.
“Flour!” Sam replied. “There was, err, flour. On the side. Right there.”
“And you didn't just ask me to move so you could get it?”
“I... didn't because... I didn't want to, err, disturb your genius at work.” Sam said, pretty sure that there was no way in hell that the stallion would fall for such crap. Whisk just stared at him for a few minutes before smiling slightly.
“Well I wouldn't call it genius but I am pretty amazing in the kitchen.” The human couldn't believe that Whisk fell for that, nor could he believe Whisk was that vain. As Sam pulled the mop back, he realised the tail was still burning, which made him gulp.
'That's it, I'm fucked.' He thought. 'I'm out of ideas and he's bound to notice any time now. Someone help me...' As if a mystical force herd him, the stallion from before came back to the area quickly, causing him to slip and knock Whisk over. As if in slow motion, Sam watched as Whisk fell backwards and landed in the bucket of water. He tried desperately to hide the grin forming on his face.
“Damn it all Beater!! What have I told you about being careful?!” Whisk yelled as he got back to his hooves. “You're on washing up duty for the next two weeks!” He growled. The stallion yelped a little before hanging his had in shame, walking away from the scene.
“Damn it all, I'll get changed in a moment.” Whisk said. He made his way over to the oven and pulled out the contents, a large vegetable pie. He gave it a little sniff before smiling. “Smells great, come on boy. Let's give it a try.” Sam nodded and made his way to the counter where the pie rested. Whisk cut himself a slice and smiled. He opened his maw and took a large bite.
'Phew, I managed to get away with it. Thank god.' Sam thought. It was about now that he heard another chef's voice behind him.
“Oh here it is. I can't believe someone ripped off part of the label for this. Had to find another one for this, Dragon's Root Extract is hard to find. Some of spiciest stuff I've ever seen too.”
Sam's eyes widened. 'Ohhh fuck me...' Whisk eyes began to stream with tears, it even seemed like smoke was going to blow out of his ears. He let out an ear piercing shriek before running around the kitchen and dumping his head into a filled sink. Unfortunately that sink was filled with water and washing up liquid. Whisk pulled his head out and began coughing, wheezing, choking. It wasn't long before he found the bucket used to mop up the floor and felt like he was going to throw up into it. This was when Whisk noticed a lot of singed tail hair inside the bucket, he span his head round to see only a quarter of his tail left on his behind. His mind became fueled by rage and nausea, he then turned to Sam but became confused. He was no longer there, only the apron he'd been using.
That was when he heard the café doors close as someone left.
XXX
Sam and Quick Stitch were waiting at the Canterlot train station, it was around midday while the train was only a few minutes away.
“Sorry we couldn't find you a job Sam. I didn't know it had been filled.” Quick Stitch said.
“It's fine.” Sam replied. “You didn't know and it was worth a look anyway.” Stitch smiled happily at his response.
“That's good then. I take it you won't be coming this way much then?”
“Probably not if there aren't any jobs up here. Might be something I can do in Ponyville though, who knows.” Quick Stitch seemed rather depressed by Sam's words but nodded.
“Ok then... Don't suppose you could come visit sometime though?” She asked hopefully.
“Sure, not a problem at all.” Quick Stitch's expression cheered up quickly. She ran to a pen and pad on a nearby desk and started writing something, she came back and handed the note to Sam.
“This is my address, just send me a letter whenever, ok?” Sam gave a smile and a nod which she returned with a hug. The train soon arrived and Sam gave a wave as he boarded it.
“Sorry I had to lie to you about that Stitch, I couldn't tell you the truth. What a waste, she offers to help and create the fuck up of all fuck ups.” Sam muttered to himself as he fell back onto the train seats. He put his hands to his face and sighed as he dragged them down. “Oh well, better luck tomorrow I suppose.” He said as he tried to get some rest.
“I can't believe that was supposed to be a show.” A young girls voice spoke from behind him.
“I know. It was supposed to be amazing but I just didn't get any of it. When that guy was turned into a donkey by a magical parasprite. What was that about?” Another voice said. Sam got a little curious and peeked his head round the seat to see who speaking. There were to little fillies sitting with an older mare opposite them. One had a pink coat with a light purple and white mane, the other had a silver mane with a greyish coat, she was also wearing a pair of glasses while her friend wore a tiara.
“I know, what a waste of bits. Daddy wasn't even able to come with us.” The pink one said.
“Now now Diamond, daddy couldn't come with us because he's got to watch over the construction site at Ponyville Station. You know that.” The older mare explained. She had a mulberry coat though her mane matched that of, what Sam assumed, was her daughter. Diamond let out a sigh of exasperation before pouting and looking away. Sam shrugged and rested back against the seat, letting himself drift into a little catnap.
It was about an hour until the train stopped at Ponyville. Sam stretched out, popping a few joints before getting up and leaving the train. As he got onto the station platform, he saw scaffolding around a large circular hole on top of the station building. There were a couple of ponies holding onto a rope, pulling a large clock face in order to get it into the hole. Sam looked round a little more, trying to figure out where to head to find some work.
“Daddy!” A voice broke him from his thoughts. He saw the filly from before, Diamond, heading towards one of the ponies near the builders. He had a tan coat with a slicked back black mane, Sam could easily see the shine of the gel he must have been using.
“My little Diamond! How was the play?” He said as he scooped her up.
“It was really confusing, I didn't understand any of it.”
He let out a small chuckle. “Oh dear, was it? I guess it must have been a bit of a pain to sit through then.” His daughter nodded eagerly. “Is Silver Spoon still staying over tonight?” He asked.
“Of course, come on Silver.” She called out.
“Excuse me Mr.” A little voice at Sam's feet said. He moved out of the way and watched the grey pony from before run towards her friend. It was about now that whoever decided to give Sam a hard time back at the café returned with a vengeance. There was a loud creaking sound as part of the wooden scaffolding broke and the clock began to fall, it wasn't going incredibly fast but Silver Spoon just watched in horror as it fell. Sam ran forward towards the young filly. There was a loud crash as the clock met the ground.
“Silver! Silver!” Diamond cried. Her father stood there in complete shock. The station became deathly quiet, the only thing that anypony could see was the dust that the crash had kicked up. Eventually the dust settled, leaving the sight of a broken giant clock and Sam, holding Silver Spoon in his arms, sitting in front of the wreckage.
“That was bloody close.” Sam muttered to himself. He looked down at the filly in his arms. “Hey, are you hurt?” The grey little mare just held onto Sam's shirt like her life depended on it, which it nearly did in her mind. She shook her head and Sam let out a breath of relief.
“Boy! Boy! Are you alright?” Diamond's father yelled out. Sam nodded and raised his arm, giving a thumbs up.
“We're fine, she's just a bit shocked.” All the nearby ponies let out a cheer and Diamond's father ran over. The filly in his arms jumped to the ground and Sam let Silver go, allowing her to shakily get to her hooves before Diamond hugged her.
“Thanks mister! Thank you so much.” Diamond said as Silver sobbed into her shoulder. Diamond's father slapped Sam on the back.
“Indeed! Thank you so much for saving her life, I'm sure her parents will be glad that you were around.” He said before turning to the scaffolding. “Curses, I thought that contractor was praise worthy. If I find him then I'll make sure he regrets giving me shoddy workmanship. Though now I need somepony to help me get this back into shape.”
Sam felt his ears perk up a little. “Maybe I can help?” He said.
“Oh, how so my boy?”
“Well I'm a trained carpenter, plus I've had some experience in building.” The stallion's eyebrow raised and a smile graced his face.
“I don't suppose you're looking for work are you?” Sam nodded with a grin on his face. “My boy, you have just become twice the hero I thought you were. What's your name?”
“My name's Sam, nice to meet you.” He said as he held out his hand.
“Rich, Filthy Rich. It's nice to meet you too Sam.” He grabbed Sam's hand and shook it vigorously. “Come on boy, we have paperwork to fill in.” Filthy grabbed Diamond into his arms after she finished comforting her friend. Sam was about to head off until he felt a tug at his trouser leg. It was Silver Spoon.
“Could... Could you carry me back please?” She asked with red eyes. Sam nodded and leaned down, scooping the filly into his arms before following his new employer.