I thought I saw a flash of pink out of the corner of my eye. I turned to look, but there was nothing there. Had something passed by the window? Whatever. I turned back to my book. It was a guide to mechanics and was really quite interesting.
Granted, pony technology was somewhat lacking, but with my knowledge of Earth’s stuff, I was betting I could come up with some really cool steampunk-type equipment. I had my eye on a giant suit of powered armor. I’ve got an Iron Man complex.
This time I was sure I saw something outside the window. Had that been Rainbow Dash? The coloring was about right. I was still thinking about it when I was suddenly sprayed with water.
I jerked my head up and saw a nozzle on the end of a hose hanging from the ceiling. I smacked it away from my face, and the jet of water washed over the table in front of me, drenching a Daring Do novel sitting there.
I ran outside to get away from the water. Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash were rolling on the ground with laughter.
“That was great!” said Pinkie. “You were all like ‘Ah!’ and ‘Shitfuckdamn’.”
“Yeah,” I said. “You wouldn’t happen to know anything about that, would you?”
“We’re pranking!” said Rainbow. “Everypony in town is getting it.”
“In that case, allow me to get you something.
“Oh come on,” said Pinkie. “You probably needed a bath anyway, right? No harm done?”
“Well, I suppose not, but Twilight won’t be happy about that ruined book. It was one of her favorites.”
“Oops.” Pinkie and Rainbow looked at each other and then ran.
When Twilight came back to the library later, I explained what had happened.
“Yes, they’ve been pulling pranks on everypony.” She sighed. “I guess girls will be girls.”
Speaking of, Pinkie came through the door at that moment.
“Hey guys!”
“Where’s Rainbow?” I asked.
“She’s off playing with her griffon friend. She’s sooo mean. The griffon’s name is Gilda, and I don’t like Dashie hanging out with her.”
“Are you really sure she’s so mean?” asked Twilight.
“Yeah! She keeps stealing Rainbow Dash away, she popped my balloons, and she told me to buzz off. I’ve never met a griffon this mean. Well, actually, I’ve never met a griffon at all, but I bet if I had, she wouldn’t be as mean and grumpy as Gilda.”
“You know what I think, Pinkie? I think you’re jealous,” said Twilight.
“Green with envy, or in your case pink with envy,” said Spike.
“Listen, Pinkie,” said Twilight. “I don't want to upset you, but just because Rainbow Dash has another friend doesn't make Gilda a grump. I mean, perhaps it's you, Pinkie, who needs to improve her attitude.”
“Hang on,” I said. “I’ll admit that sometimes Pinkie has restraint issues, but I’ve never known anyone to go out of their way to be hostile to her.”
“Well…we have to examine all sides of the issue,” said Twilight.
“I think I want to meet Gilda,” I said.
“Yay!” said Pinkie. “We can go together and you can reassure me that she’s not really as bad as I think.”
“Or something.”
“Come on!” She pulled me out the door.
In town, we found a table outside Sugarcube Corner to sit at. It wasn’t long before Gilda came by.
“Wow, what a mug.”
“She’s half eagle and half lion.”
“All ugly.”
As we watched, Gilda pulled a prank on Applejack’s grandmother. “A rattler!” shrieked Granny Smith. “Run for the hills!” She set off at a walk.
“She didn’t know it was a joke!” said Pinkie. “How mean! No, no, I can’t misjudge her.”
Gilda walked by a fruit cart and snatched an apple on the sly.
“I did misjudge her! She’s not only a meanie mean-pants, but she’s also a thief! No no no no, she might give it back. It's just a joke.” Pinkie looked like she was trying hard to make excuses for Gilda’s behavior.
I gave her a look. “Fruit isn’t part of a balanced breakfast for either an eagle or a lion. She stole that just to be mean.”
Fluttershy walked by, leading a family of ducks. She was talking quietly to them. She bumped into Gilda.
“Oh! Please excuse me.”
“I’m walking here!”
“I’m sorry, I was just trying…”
Gilda began to mimic her in a mocking tone.
I clopped my hooves together. “I’ve seen enough. Let’s go kick her ass.”
Gilda finished chewing out Fluttershy, who ran away in tears. “These ponies are lame,” she said, taking off into the sky.
“Pinkie, do you still have that pedal powered helicopter? We have to go after her!”
“No, she wrecked it this morning. I’ve got a plan, though. Nobody messes with my friends and gets away with it. This calls for extreme measures, Pinkie Pie style!”
“So…are we going to hurt her or what?”
“We’re going to have a party!”
I facehoofed.
That afternoon, Sugarcube Corner was decorated and ready to go. Many ponies were invited, and Gilda was the guest of honor.
“What’s the plan?” I asked.
“Dash and I set up all kinds of pranks. We thought it would be funny, but maybe if we can steer Gilda into some of them, she’ll get a taste of her own medicine.”
Gilda walked in. Pinkie greeted her with a warm smile and a hoofshake buzzer. Gilda laughed it off, but I could see that it irked her a little.
True to the plan, we did manage to spring spicy candy and a dribble glass on her. Things had begun to get interesting when Pinkie rolled a huge cake out on a cart. “Cake time everypony.”
“Hey, can I blow out the candles?” asked Spike.
“Why don't we let Gilda blow out the candles,” suggested Twilight. “She is the guest of honor after all.”
“Exactly,” said Gilda, stepping in front of the cake. Suddenly, the cart sprang forward on hidden machinery and smashed the cake into her face with enough force to knock her backwards out the door. The expressions of the ponies in the room showed surprise.
“You’re all lame!” shouted Gilda from outside. She flew off.
“Wow! I’ve never seen a prank like that before!” said Pinkie.
“I’m sure you haven’t,” I said, smiling to myself.
Author note:
Does anyone know why Hasbro decided to spell griffon with an o? The usual spelling is griffin.