“Bonnie are you sure that you want to go out this evening? I know you’ve had a hard couple of weeks.” Lyra looked down at her marefriend with concern. The candy mare had been working herself to the bone ever since Princess Luna had announced the new holiday. Originally thinking that she would be forced to give treats to all the town’s foals the white mare had worried that she might have been driven to bankruptcy. However, when she realised that the whole town would have to buy sweets to give to the kids she had been forced to work flat out to meet the demand. So far nightmare night had turned out to be highly profitable for the candy mare if exhausting, plus it gave her the chance to test some new recipes on the trick or treaters.
“Oh, I wouldn’t want to miss this for a minute,” said Bon Bon, “I’ve always wanted to try out these costumes.” She gestured at her clothes, she was wearing an old fashioned yellow dress and a white cap. “Yours makes you look very distinguished.” She indicated to her partner who was dressed in a suit and fedora hat.
“I suppose so, but why do I have to be the stallion?” Lyra pouted trying to look more feminine.
Bon Bon sighed, “It just makes sense that I’m Bonnie, it’s my name after all, so that makes you Clydesdale. I remember really loving that play when my parents first took me to see it, it seemed so special to have one of the characters with the same name as me. The story was so romantic, the two of them so in love and going up against the world.”
Lyra smiled indulgently, her knowledge of the history behind the duo they were dressed as was better than her partners but as a bard she recognised the necessity to bend the truth a little to make a good story. Plus she understood how much Bon Bon loved the play, she did keep dragging the two of them to it every time it was performed anywhere near Ponyville.
Suddenly there was a knocking at the door. “I’ll get that,” said Lyra as she levitated up one of the toy repeating crossbows that went with their costumes.
“Be careful with that, they’re expensive.”
“Yeah but with the killing you’ve made this week you can afford them, plus they’re so cool.” Lyra swung the weapon around, her horn flashing as she spraying the wall with a hail of foam darts.
“You and your toys, sometimes I don’t think you’ll ever grow up.”
“You know you love it really.”
“True,” said Bon Bon kissing Lyra on the nose, “Let’s both see who it is,” she picked up her own toy weapon, “We can try the aniseed balls this time.”
The door opened to reveal Ditzy Doo and her daughter Dinky both also in costume. The older mare was wearing a suit and a bowler hat with a cane under one wing while the small unicorn had on a tweed jacket with a cape and a deerstalker hat firmly in place on her head. Clutched in her mouth was a curved pipe, she blew hard and several bubbles emerged from the bowl. “Trick or treat,” they both announced.
“Ditzy. Dinky,” Lyra cried, “You’re Sherclop Holmes aren't you?” she admired Dinky’s costume, “And you must be Dr Watson then?”
The cross eyed mare nodded. Dinky took the pipe from her mouth and scrutinised the older couple, “I deduce that...” she stared myopically, “You’re wearing really old clothes, did people used to wear things like that when you were foals?”
“Hey,” said Bon Bon insulted, “We’re not that old Dinky.”
The foal looked chastised, “Sorry, who are you dressed as then?”
“She’s Bonny Prancer and I’m Clydesdale, they were criminals from, well a long time ago, they robbed banks and stuff,” said Lyra.
“So they were bad ponies. Why do you want to dress like them?” Dinky looked confused.
“Well they really loved each other a lot and had a lot of fun together,” pointed out Bon Bon her eyes shining, “and the banks they robbed were run by some bad ponies who took people’s money.”
Lyra felt she should correct some of her partner’s misconceptions but now didn’t seem to be the time.
“What happened to them?” asked Dinky.
“Eventually the guard caught up with them and..”
“They felt really bad about what they had done and went to prison for a long time before spending the rest of their lives helping other ponies,” said Ditzy interrupting the tale with a more foal friendly ending.
“That’s not ...” began Lyra before noticing the look in Ditzy’s eye, “That’s just what happened.” she agreed, Bon Bon nodded as well. “So why did you decide to go as the great detective?” she asked changing the topic.
“Sherclop Holmes is a really smart pony, he can tell everything about somepony just by looking at their hooves,” cheered Dinky.
“She’s been into the books since Twilight lent her one for a school project,” said Ditzy.
“They have some really hard words in them that Momma helps me with, but they're fun to read. Apart from the one with the big dog in it, that one was scary,” the foal shuddered, “I’m not sure if I want a dog any more if they’re scary like that.”
Ditzy gave her daughter a quick hug, “Don’t worry most dogs are friendly. Anyway Rarity was nice enough to make these costumes for us.”
“Yeah, she made ours as well,” said Bon Bon, “Oh I almost forgot, here are some sweeties for you Dinky,” she dropped a few treats into the foal’s bag. “Tell me what you think of them, oh and remember to tell all your friends where you got them from.”
“Thank you, Ms Bon Bon,” said Dinky politely.
“Well we better be off,” said Ditzy, “We have to meet up with Cheerilee soon.”
“Are you coming to the party after Trixie’s show?” asked Lyra.
“Heavy Roller has agreed to look after all the foals for a bit so I should be able to spend some time with you and the rest of the girls.”
“Good, see you there then.”
Mother and daughter both said their goodbyes and Dinky once again thanked them for the sweets before the two of them left heading for the schoolhouse.
Bon Bon watched the retreating foal, “We need to get ourselves one of those,” she said wistfully.
“Bonny,” said Lyra reproachfully.
“Oh, not for a while, but some when.”
“Yeah, some when,” said Lyra nuzzling her marefriend, “and when we do it’ll be perfect. Now come on, you decided I’m a stallion for tonight so I think I should show off my moll to the rest of the guys,” she gave Bon Bon a telekinetic slap on the flank making her squeak. “Get your gun we’ve got a town to wow.”
Lyra and Bon Bon were strolling through Ponyville when Rarity activated the spells built into the costumes she had made for them and others around the town. The physical changes to Bon Bon were minimal, she became a unicorn version of herself, but Lyra was aglow with green light as her unconscious transformed herself to match its opinion of what Clydesdale should look like. Her form swelled and muscle was added to bulk herself out. Most noticeably she left her feminine form behind as she transformed into a stallion.
“Hey, Clyde,” drawled Bonnie in a newly obtained Manehatten accent, “Where are we?”
“I don’t know, honey,” he replied tightening his magical grip on his repeating crossbow as he looked around suspiciously.
“Looks like another two bit town, still it doesn’t matter as long as we have each other,” she nuzzled her stallion.
“I suppose so,” he replied not sounding convinced. Then his glance fell on a nearby building and a grin spread over his face. “Now that is something that does matter.”
Bonnie looked up, “What is it?”
“That bank over there, little place like this there's probably no security around to stop us, definitely no guards. We can make a killing then I’ll get you all the pretty things you like and we can have some real fun.”
The pair creeped over to the banks entrance, all the buildings around it seemed to be shut and there were few other ponies around to notice them. In the distance they could just about make out panicked cries but nothing out of the ordinary seemed to be occurring near them. The bank’s front door had large glass panels in it and the two criminals peered inside.
As far as they could tell there was only a single pony within the building, a rather stressed looking unicorn stallion with a dark blue coat and a thinning black mane. He was sitting at a desk in a side office, they could only see him as the office door was open. He was hunched over a large book, a quill float nearby occasionally darting in to make notes in the ledger.
The bank’s front door seemed secure, Clyde was sure he could break it down eventually but it would take time and attract attention. A more subtle plan was needed. “Honey,” he said, “I need you to get that nice stallion over there to come out here.”
Bonnie did not seem please at this news, “Do In have to? You know I don’t like doing that.”
“Sorry, you’re going to have to take one for the team. I’ll make it up to you later.”
“Fine,” she agreed with bad grace and knocked on the door as Clyde disappeared round the side of the building.
Inside the stallion practically fell off his chair in surprise the quill going flying. He picked himself up and looked around nervously before noticing Bonnie standing at the door. He looked confused and started to trot towards the front of the bank.
“Bon Bon?” he asked from the other side of the door, “What are you doing here? The banks closed for this Nightmare night thing.”
“It’s Bonnie not Bon Bon. How do you know me?” the confused criminal asked starting to back away.
“I did help arrange your small business loan, I remember you from then.”
“I think you got me mixed up with somepony else. Anyway my cart threw a wheel, I need a big strong stallion to help me fix it.”
“I’m sort of busy right now, can’t you get anypony else?”
The white mare pushed herself up against the glass panel, “I’d be really appreciative, if you could help me,” she said breathily.
“Oh,” said the bank worker as the penny dropped, “Lyra not giving you everything you need at home then? There’re some things you just need a stallion for, right,” he grinned lustfully and unlocked the door before walking out into the street.
Clyde rushed around the corner and put his crossbow to the surprised stallions head, “Lyra?” gasped the bank worker, “I was joking about... Wait what have you done...”
“Shut up,” yelled Clyde slapping the surprised stallion with his hoof.
“Owww! What was that for? Why do you have that toy?”
“It’s not a toy,” said Clyde, he pointed the crossbow at a wall and several bolts threw out embedding themselves in the brick.
“Now Mr...” said Bonnie pointing her own crossbow.
“Penny Pincher,” the stallion blurted out sweat dripping down his face.
“Now Mr Penny Pincher, we’d like to make a big withdraw.”
“Interesting,” said Sherclop, she rolled her neck and looked down at her hooves. The magic in Dinky’s costume had caused her to grow and mature but the magic had its limits and she was still a short pony. Her coat and mane remained more or less unchanged although her horn had lengthened into a pointed spike.
“Sorry, what was that I felt a little dizzy for a moment there,” said Watson steadying herself on her cane. Ditzy’s transformation had resulted in her wings disappearing as she became as earth pony mare and in addition her eyes had straightened and she had shrunk slightly but became more muscular.
“I dare say that is because you are not yourself and neither am I.”
“What the Tyrek do you mean Holmes?”
“We are not ourselves, I believe we may be some form of magical constructs.”
“You haven't been on the salt again have you?” asked Watson sighing.
“Salt? Now that is interesting, further proof to my theory I think.”
“You really do think we’re some kind of copy don’t you?”
“I’m afraid so, for several reasons. I know that I have memorized the composition and location of over one hundred soil types found around Trottingham, yet when I try to actually think of them, I can only bring three to mind those mentioned in your published case books. In addition you are currently significantly larger than I am, why this should be I am not sure, maybe who or whatever has created us has limited resources and was not able to create us both full size. Thirdly you have mentioned salt and from your tone I take it to be an intoxicant or hallucinogen,” the words felt strange on her tongue as if she hadn’t used them before, “But I am unaware of anything about its effects. We were obviously created from different sources of information. Most interesting. It may seem a fantastical idea but when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth."
“That’s quite astounding,” stuttered Watson, strangely she didn’t feel the existential dread she would have expected from being told she was an artificial creation, although maybe that was a side effect of being artificial. “But why would somepony do that?”
“As no one appears to be around, it may be accidental, or possibly for the entertainment of some unknown party. We will have to investigate our environment more to find out.”
Watson looked around they seemed to be in a small town of some sort, certainly nowhere that she recognised but nothing seemed to be particularly out of place, the street they were standing in was largely deserted.
“This way,” commanded Holmes apparently picking a direction at random and striding off, only partially hampered by her reduced size. Watson followed behind limping slightly her war injury was acting up, although if Holmes was right she had never actually been in battle.
Their journey through the streets raised more questions, few ponies were outside and the few they did see seemed to be running from something. At one point a pack of diamond dogs approached them and Watson prepared for a fight but the creatures ignored them and ran past with a call of “Pre-ty Pony.”
“Curious,” was Holmes’s only comment on the situation.
Eventually the detective drew his attention to a building to the right, “What do you make of that Watson?”
“It seems to be a bank, I can’t say I recognise the company ‘Ponyville Trust’ I guess that’s where we are then.”
“And the door?”
“Why, it’s open.”
“Yes, and the sign shows it as closed. Odd no? Not to mention the several crossbow bolts stuck in the wall there. Worth a closer investigation don’t you think?”
“The pair approached the building, Holmes briefly stopped to investigate a patch of ground in front of the bank. Watson raised his cane as a weapon before gently pushing the door open, the inside seemed empty. The two investigators moved quietly through the bank. Holmes listened at a side door, noting the name tag showed it belonged to the bank manager. She gestured to Watson before pushing open the door to reveal a dark blue unicorn stallion. He was lying on his side with his legs tied together gnawing at the ropes in an attempt to free himself. He looked up in panic at the strangers. “Don’t hurt me,” he squealed.
“Don’t worry my good stallion,” said Watson stepping forwards to help the stricken pony, “We’re here to help.”
“What happened here?” asked Holmes looking around the office.
“Robbers, two of them a stallion and a mare, I was just finishing some things off then they turned up, they had crossbows, they forced me to open the safe and give them bits,” babbled the bank worker as Watson undid his bonds and pulled him to his hooves.
“Don’t worry, Mr?”
“Penny Pincher,” replied then stallion automatically.
“Don’t worry Mr Pincher. I happened to be the world’s best consulting detective, I’m sure I’ll be able to get your money back.”
“Umm, aren’t you taking this Nightmare night thing too far?”
“Nightmare night?”
“The fancy dress and everything it’s not like you're the real Sherclop Holmes.”
“Of course,” she turned to her assistant, “Just as I suspected.” Turning back to Penny she continued, “Well I guess we should summon the guard then, they should be able to deal with this.”
“No wait! I don’t think we’ll need to involve them, anything public could harm the banks reputation.” The stallion looked panicked.
“Well I can be most discrete then,” not waiting for an answer Holmes continued, “Now my companion has medical training it’s best if you let her look at you for the moment. To make sure you’ve suffered no lasting harm”.
“Now what did they do to you?” asked Watson leading his patient out of the office, meanwhile Holmes picked up a quill from the floor and flipped through a ledger on the table.
“The stallion punched me in the horn and I think I passed out, I can’t get my magic to work.” cried Penny starting to shake.
Watson gently prodded the unicorns horn, “It’s not cracked,” she moved her hoof through the stallions field of vision and his eyes followed it. “I don’t think there's any serious damage, you should be fine in a few hours.”
“Oh that’s a relief,” signed Penny, “But how are we going to find them.”
Sherlock breezed back into the room cloak billowing behind him. “That is simple, the criminals left with a cart. They would have needed one to carry the loot, I judge it had four wheels, although the rear left one was stiff. The vehicle was probably approximately five feet wide and seven long. Painted Blue.”
“Hey,” Penny leapt up, “That’s my cart! They took my cart?” He rushed to the door and looked out, “They did take my cart!”
Watson looked at Holmes who was gazing at him companion as if waiting for him to say something. He sighed, “How did you work that out?”
“Simplicity itself,” stated the small unicorn, glowing with self-importance. “There are tracks just outside of a heavily laden cart, the marks indicate the stiff wheel and the dimensions can be easily calculated from the wheel pattern.”
“And the colour?”
“Well that was a guess but as the only pony here it was likely to be Mr Pincher’s and most ponies paint their vehicles the same colour as themselves. Anyway we don’t have any further time to lose waiting here Watson the game's afoot.” The small unicorn rushed out the door followed by Watson and Penny.
“That was really special Lyra, I mean Clyde” sighed Bonnie as she cuddled up with Clyde. Why had she said that, who was Lyra? Luckily the stallion didn’t seem to have noticed. The two of them were in bed together covered by recently rumpled sheets.
“Yeah,” he agreed sleepily, “It felt different this time. You like my deposits just as much as making withdraws from that bank,” he chuckled a bit at his own double entendre.
“Honey.”
“Humm,” replied Clyde consciousness starting to slip away.
“We did well today didn’t we, we really hit the jackpot.”
“Yeah, we did good,” he mumbled.
“Good enough to get out of the game?”
Returning to awareness Clyde stretched and looked around the cramped room. Bags of bits were scattered all around it. “I don’t know, maybe. Why?”
“Well we could settle down somewhere where no one knows us and, well maybe raise a family. Just the two of us.”
“Maybe,” said the stallion sounding unsure, “But can you really see us on a farm or something, you’d be climbing the walls within a week.”
“You’re all the excitement I need.”
Clyde rolled over and began to nuzzling Bonnie on the neck, “So you need some more excitement do you?” He asked between kisses.
Bonnie’s ears pricked up, “Clyde,” she squeaked, “There’s someone in the other room.”
Quick as a flash Clyde rolled out of bed and grabbed for his crossbow. He gestured to Bonnie to stay where she was and stalked towards the bedroom door. He pushed it open a crack and peered into the rented apartments other room. A mare in old fashioned garb was creeping towards him. Snarling Clyde flung the door open and pointed his weapon at the intruder. “Hold it,” he yelled.
To his surprise the stranger did not appear intimidated and instead went straight on the offensive. Striking out with her cane the mare knocked the crossbow from his aura, then charged forwards shoving him into the wall behind him.
However Clyde was bigger than his opponent and certainly no stranger to brawls. He pushed his attacker back using his aura and swung a hoof at her jaw. Watson dodged back and counterattacked landing a blow on her opponent’s horn dispelling his magic. The two started to tumble around on the floor. However, the greater strength of the earth pony proved to be too much for the unicorn stallion and he found himself pinned to the ground.
“Give up,” ordered Watson holding a forearm to his opponent's throat, “You're beaten.”
Suddenly a hail of bolts flew over the doctors head and she leapt aside. Bonnie stood in the doorway to the bedroom her aura flashing as she worked the crossbow’s mechanism. “Get away from my stallion!” she yelled.
Watson scampered across the floor trying to avoid the incoming fire, he took cover behind a sofa.
“Thanks Babe,” said Clyde as he got to his hooves and staggered over to join his lover.
“Are you alright?” she asked sounding concerned.
“I’ll live,” he replied rubbing his neck, “Now kill her and we better get out of here, she might have brought the guards down on us.”
“I’d rather you didn’t do that. She is rather dear to me,” came a commanding voice. Totally unnoticed till now Holmes strode over from the corner of the room towards the pair of criminals in the doorway.
Bonnie gapped for a second then began to turn her weapon to bear on the small unicorn. “Whoa there titchy,” she started. Holmes flicked out a single hoof and to her surprise Bonnie found herself on her back behind the unicorn.
Angered by the attack on his lover Clyde turned to Holmes with a snarl but stopped when he felt the crossbow press against his head. He swallowed loudly.
“Fascinating device,” commented Holmes holding the bulky weapon steady in her aura, “I believe I understand it enough to use. Unless you wish to try your luck?”
“Dammit Holmes, couldn’t you have done something earlier?” asked Watson standing up from behind the chair noting the numerous bolts embedded in it.
“I’m confident you had everything under control, you even looked like you were enjoying it.”
“Who are you people?” asked Clyde his eyes still fixed on the weapon head at his head.
“I am Sherclop Holmes and this is my companion Dr Watson,” said Sherclop gesturing to Clyde and Bonnie to move to the far wall of the room.
“Like from those books?” asked Bonnie looking confused.
“Books? Interesting we are fictional then?”
Before Holmes could say anything more Penny Pincher stuck his head around the door, “Is it over?” he asked fearfully.
“Ah Mr Pincher, yes the robbers have been apprehended and we have recovered your banks money. It’s in the bedroom.”
“Oh good, I’ll just make sure it’s all there,” said the stallion heading towards the other door.
“Of course. GRAB THAT STALLION WATSON!” shouted Holmes gesturing at Penny.
Acting instinctively at his friend’s command Watson lunged at the bank worker and pinned him against the wall.
“What’s going on?” wailed the unicorn.
“Why, I am stopping the bank robbers of course,” said Holmes, “Only there were two robberies going on today, were their not? These hoodlums,” he gestured at Bonnie and Clyde huddled against the wall, “Were robbing the bank physically, hardly a true test of my abilities any old thief taker could have dealt with them. You, however, were robbing your employers in an entirely different, but no less criminal way.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Let me go!” demanded Penny.
“Oh, do be quiet. You have been defrauding your bank for quite some time now, I assume that they have recently become suspicious of you resulting in you needing to run now.”
“How do you know all this Holmes?” asked Watson.
“Simplicity itself,” replied the diminutive unicorn, beginning to pace backwards and forwards while keeping the criminals covered with his weapon. “My suspicions were first raised when we found Mr Pincher, he was not gagged, if he had chosen to cry for help any passer-by would have heard. Yet he was silently trying to free himself. Why? Because he did not want to be found there, the bank was closed, he had no reason to be on the premises.”
“I was working overtime, you’ve got it all wrong. Let me go,” begged Penny struggling weakly.
“I think not. You were not even in your own office, the name on the door was Holly Bit. A quick search of the ledger proved my suspicions, there had been several recently added transactions moving bits into a specific account, written using your own quill which I found discarded on the floor. A note on the offices calendar stated that the ledger would be transferred to the Canterlot head office the next day, once that had been done you would have been free to collect the monies from any other office. Thus the reason why you did not want the guard involved in this theft, not to prevent your employers embarrassment but if it was reported no doubt a full audit would be carried out and your fraud discovered.”
Penny stopped struggling and went limp in Watson’s grasp.
“Of course the last piece of evidence was your cart, why bring it to work? What would you need to transport? I got a look at it parked outside, it contains most of your possessions does it not? You were ready to leave town before you could be discovered.”
“It’s true, all true,” sobbed Penny, “I didn’t mean for it to get this far, I started small just a few bits here and there, no one noticed they were missing, it was so easy. But then a few became a lot and I’m sure Holly’s on to me. I can’t go to prison, I can’t, I’ll put all the money back. You can keep the bits here, just let me go, please.”
Holmes opened her mouth when suddenly there was a fizz in the air and a stench of ozone as the spell that had been blanketing the town was discharged and the magic effecting the costumes stopped.
Holmes's form shrunk and Dinky gave a squeak of surprise as she returned to her senses. Lyra staggered as her body returned to its normal female configuration, “Not again,” she gasped as her body finished stretching and bending.
Ditzy her eyes recrossing and wings reappearing staggered backwards while Bon Bon, who was least physically affected, looked around in confusion. “What happened?” she asked.
Penny Pincher, taking advantage of the confusion, made a break for the door shoving Ditzy aside, she fell back and landed with a cry of pain.
“Momma!” cried Dinky, “Bad Stallion!” she pointed the crossbow at the fleeing Penny and pulled the trigger.
Expecting to be impaled on a brace of bolts Penny threw himself to the ground but to his surprise a number of soft foam darts bounced off of his flanks. He was just starting to get up when Bon Bon pushed him back down with a hoof, “Stay down!” she snarled. Looking up at the angry mare Penny decided to follow her advice.
“Are you alright Momma?” asked Dinky rushing to her mother’s side.
“I’m fine muffin,” replied Ditzy rubbing her wing, “Just a bit of a boo boo.”
Meanwhile Lyra was examining the bedroom finding several bags full of bits. “I guess we’ll have to take these back,” she said a hint of longing in her eyes.
“I think the bank might get angry if we kept them,” agreed Ditzy looking around.
“We certainly wouldn’t want there to be any lasting consequences of whatever happened today, would we?”
“No, no consequences at all,” said Bon Bon somewhat unsurely resting one hoof on her abdomen.