"So how are you and the Duke gettin' along?" Applebloom asked her sister as they scrubbed the dishes.
Applejack shrugged. "Not as bad as I figured. I guess you and Twilight were right about me bein' in his favor. Caramel and Time Turner have been givin' me funny looks."
"Funny as in humor or funny as in strange?"
"Funny as in I think they're angry with me."
"They're just jealous. After all, I don't see the Duke callin' on them as often. They also don't get invited to dine with him like you do. I heard 'em whisperin' at lunch yesterday that he might promote ya to advisor!"
"We've only been here a week, Sugar."
"Exactly! That's why they're so jealous! Take Time Turner, for example. He's been workin' here for ten years and hasn't gotten as far as you have! How come you're so special?"
"Beats me. I didn't really do anything to impress him. He did say he liked the way I talked, whatever that means."
"Well, Miss Octavia said she's glad he's got some pony else to rant to. I think that's a good thing."
"How ya holdin' up with the work?"
"It was hard at first. The first day, Gustav yelled at me for droppin' so many plates, but I think I got the hang of it. Twilight is the best mistress ever! Actually, she feels more like a big sister than a mistress! Oh, no offense."
"It's okay, hon. I'm glad you're doin' fine."
They heard the sound of some pony clearing his throat and turned to see Time Turner standing in the kitchen doorway.
"The Duke would like Applejack to meet him in his study," he said in a monotone.
Applejack put down the plate she was washing. "I'll see ya at dinner, sis."
"If he doesn't invite ya tonight," Applebloom whispered with a wink.
The mare ruffled her sister's mane. On her way out, she felt Time Turner's glaring eyes follow her. She felt uncomfortable being the center of envy amongst the servants. It was not something she intended to do.
Another part of her did not mind being the Duke's favorite. Since he started getting her name right, she disliked him a lot less. In fact, she felt more pity than disdain towards him. Watching him pine for the Lady Rarity every day made her almost wish the unicorn would accept his affections. Applejack wondered what this mare was like. She must be quite pretty for him to get so worked up about.
Applejack was rather enjoying Spike's company. He made sure their conversations were not one-sided and always demanded that she speak freely. When Blueblood was courting her, he would continuously talk about one thing: himself. While the Duke would talk about himself and Lady Rarity often, he would also ask Applejack about herself. She had told him that she and Applebloom were orphaned when she was thirteen and that Captain Iron Will had taken care of them, which was true to some extent. All her stories were like this where she would never give any incriminating details. The Duke would also ask for her opinion on music and philosophy. She did not think her answers were that intelligent, but he always seemed pleased with what she had to say.
The door to the Duke's study was open. The dragon was sitting on a high chair at his desk, holding a piece of parchment in his claw.
"You wished to see me, my lord?"
Spike turned around and smiled at the sight of her. "Ah, Applejack! Excellent! I need your opinion again." He held out the parchment. "Read this and tell me what you think."
Curious, Applejack took the paper in her hoof and started to read: Most radiant, exquisite...
"Read it aloud," Spike said quickly. "I want to hear how it sounds."
The mare nodded and started again, this time speaking the words on the paper:
"Most radiant, exquisite and unmatchable beauty, the fairest of the fair, the diamond of mine eye..."
Applejack paused to raise an eyebrow at the Duke. "My lord, what is this?"
"It's for the Lady Rarity," Spike explained. "Keep reading!"
She sighed and continued.
"I write to thee so that thou may knowest my heart. I love thee with a burning passion, with flames that scorch my fireproof skin..."
She trailed off, her bemused face melting away.
"Continue," Spike urged.
Applejack composed herself and obeyed her master's command.
"When mine eyes did see thee first, methought thou purged the air of pestilence. That instant did I see perfection. Thine eyes shine like sapphires on a moonlit night. Thy mane like the delicate petals of violets. Thy ivory coat envies the pure, newly fallen snow. I...I feel I shall not know happiness until thy heart is mine as mine is thine. Your humble servant, the Duke of Illyrimane."
Applejack was quiet for a long while. Spike took her silence as disappointment. Was the letter truly horrible?
"Well?" he begged.
"My lord," she uttered, her voice slipping into its female origin. "This...this is...beautiful."
His eyes lit up with joy. "Really?"
She came back to her senses and cleared her throat. "It's...very passionate, my lord. You seem to have expressed your emotions quite excellently. Although...the beginning could be revised."
"You think so? What would you suggest?"
"I think you should limit the praises in the first sentence to one."
"Oh? Which do you like best?"
She tapped her chin. "I think the "unmatchable beauty" statement is best. It's more original."
"Yes, of course!" Spike snatched back the parchment and scribbled his quill on it. "Oh, you may go now. I think the West Corridor needs mopping."
"I'll get right on it, my lord."
Applejack bowed before departing. On her way to the West Corridor, she passed by a supply closet and figured she would need a mop. She was about to turn the knob when she heard voices inside. They were low, but she could distinguish two of them at least and one of them was female.
She had to make sure no pony was in trouble and flung the door open. She stiffened at the sight of two ponies embracing each other, their lips locked in a passionate kiss. The stallion she recognized as one of the guards. Flash Sentry, she thought. The mare she knew all too well.
At the sound of the door opening, the couple pulled away. Lady Twilight's eyes widened to match the size of Applejack's. Twilight glanced between the guard and the page. Applejack glanced between her lady and the guard. After a moment of awkward silence, Twilight spoke directly to Applejack:
"Do not tell anyone, especially my brother."
Once her shock had diminished, the disguised mare replied, "Tell what, my lady? I just came here to get a mop."
Without pulling from the unicorn's embrace, Flash reached behind him and grabbed the nearest mop for the page. As Applejack took it, she looked at Twilight with a smirk.
"Enjoy yourself, my lady."
The unicorn blushed with a smile. Applejack then shut the door, giving the lovers their privacy.
The next morning, the Duke called desperately for Applejack. When she finally answered his call, he led her into the garden. He said nothing until they reached the gazebo.
"Applejack, I have a very important task for you. This is perhaps the most significant task I will have you fulfill. I hired you because I thought you suited for this affair and I wanted to make certain. Well, now I am certain."
"What is it, my lord?" the disguised mare asked.
The dragon reached into his shirt and pulled out a piece of parchment. "You remember this letter, right? I want you to give it to the Lady Rarity. If she does not like it, tell her of my love in any way you can."
Applejack did not know why, but she felt her heart sink as she took the letter in her hoof.
"I...I am honored, sir, but from how you described her, I don't think she will give me audience."
"Be stubborn, then! Stand at her gate and tell her that you will not leave your spot until she lets you see her."
"Haven't the other messengers done this and were denied?"
"Yes, but they can't speak the way you can."
For a second, she thought he was referring to her accent. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"I mean you speak intelligently and persuasively. If that doesn't get you in, your face will."
She blinked. "My face?"
"Surely Rarity will be attracted to your youthful appearance. Why, she'd almost think you weren't a stallion."
Applejack gulped. "Really?"
"I mean no offense, but your face and voice are a bit marish. Of course, we can't control these things. Anyway, she is sure to find you appealing enough that she'll listen to you."
"But my lord..."
"I wouldn't have chosen you for this task if I thought you couldn't do it. Just in case she doesn't let you in, bring your sister along. Mares find it hard to resist little foals."
"But I don't even know the way..."
"Have Caramel and Time Turner show you the way. Take a couple of others with you too. With an entourage, you'll look like some pony important. Read her the letter and if that doesn't work, say whatever you can to impress her."
He took her hoof and locked eyes with her. "I know you have not worked for me for long, but I don't think I can trust any pony else with this."
Applejack sighed. "I'll do my best to woo your lady."
Spike smiled. "I know you will. Well, what are you waiting for? Get going!"
She bowed and turned to go inside. As she walked away from the dragon, she felt a stirring illness in her stomach. The more she thought about the task at hoof, the sicker she became.
What if the lady rejected him again? Would he get worse than he was now? And what if she accepted him? She seemed to dread that question more.
Applejack shook these feelings off. Her master had given her an assignment and it was her duty to fulfill it. He was counting on her to open the door to his happiness, and if her master was happy, she should be happy.
Then why did she feel so horrible?
Discord snickered as he turned all the apples in Lady Rarity's orchard to oranges. His prank did not go unnoticed. Fluttershy, wearing a black gown by order of her lady, flew furiously through the trees, searching for the draconequus. She groaned as the oranges transformed into bananas and then to polka-dotted pineapples. She finally found him rolling on the ground with laughter.
"Just what do you think you're doing?!" she shouted.
He stopped laughing and looked up at the pegasus. Her teal eyes were glaring down at him. Her hooves were on her hips. He could not help but grin.
"You know you look kind of cute when you're angry?"
She narrowed her eyes. "If you think Lady Rarity won't notice this..."
"What? She can't see anything through that veil of hers!"
"I can't believe you! If it hadn't been for your niece, you would be a lawn ornament in the Canterlot Gardens! She persuaded Princess Celestia to spare your life and this is how you repay her?! Do you want to be turned to stone?!"
"Well, when you put it that way..."
He grudgingly snapped his fingers and returned the orchard to normal.
"Honestly, Fluttershy! Can't you allow me to have a little fun?"
"Not when it can cost you your life!"
Discord put his paw to his chest. "Awwwww! You care about me! But seriously, a few teeny tiny pranks never hurt any pony!"
Fluttershy took his paw and looked seriously into his eyes. "It could hurt you."
He pulled his paw away. "Appreciate the concern, but I can take care of myself. You don't need to worry."
"I'll stop worrying if you stop acting like a child!"
"And what's wrong with that? We were all children once, weren't we? We all grow old, but some of us never grow up!"
His ears perked up as he heard merry music. He turned and saw an oddly shaped figure enter the orchard. He squinted and smiled at what he saw.
"See what I mean? Now here's a mare who knows how to have fun!"
The pony was pink with a poofy, darker pink mane and icy blue eyes. She wore a purple and yellow patchwork leotard with a matching jester's cowl. Wrapped around her body was a sousaphone with a tambourine tied to it and hanging from her neck was a banjo and harmonica. Attached to her side was an accordion, behind it a bass drum, two cymbals tied to each of her front legs. As she walked, the instruments shook and rattled, together making a grand cacophony. A baton pounded on the drum it was tied to with every step the mare took. Her mouth alternated between blowing into the sousaphone and the harmonica.
She approached the pair and stopped in front of them, but continued playing. Discord summoned a movie seat and a bag of popcorn. Fluttershy simply shook her head.
The mare finished her song with a long blow of the sousaphone and bowed to her audience. Discord applauded, his paw and claw making a different sound with each clap.
"Bravo, Madam Pinkie!" he exclaimed. "Encore! Encore!"
"You want an encore?" the pink mare asked.
She took off her jingling hat and held it out to him. "It's going to cost ya."
"But of course!" Discord said, making a coin appear in his claw. "You well deserve this!"
With a flick of his talons, the coin dropped into the mare's hat. She picked it up and looked at it suspiciously.
"I wasn't born yesterday, Discord," she said. "No, sir! My birthday's not for another eighty-seven days!"
"Whatever do you mean?" the draconequus asked innocently.
She showed him the picture of himself on the coin. "This is foal's gold!"
He held up his claw and paw. "Alright, you caught me!"
Discord waved his paw and wiped his face off the coin. Pinkie bit into the gold and smiled in satisfaction.
"Okay! You're in the clear!" She pointed her hat at the pegasus. "Any tips from you, Flutters?"
"You're late," Fluttershy said bluntly.
Pinkie shrugged as she put her hat back on. "I was stuck in a traffic jam. It took me forever to wash that sticky stuff out of my pants!"
"This is no time for jokes! Lady Rarity doesn't like it when you're late!"
"So what if I'm late? What's she gonna do? Chop off my head? Beat me in a game of croquet? Dress me in a bunny suit and waistcoat?"
"What are you even talking about?"
"She'll get over it once I make her smile! That's why she sent for me, right? She needs a smile put on her face and putting on smiles is what I do best! I even wrote a song about it! You wanna hear it?"
They all paused when they heard a familiar whine.
"Some other time, Pinkie," Fluttershy said. "Here comes my lady. You should come up with a better excuse than jam in your pants."
The jester rubbed her chin. "That my dog ate my homework?"
"That...what does that even mean?!"
"Well," Discord said, "as much as I'd love to stay and watch the show, I have some business across town!"
He cried out as Fluttershy grabbed his ear.
"Oh, no you don't, mister!" she snapped. "We're going to have a long talk about your chaotic behavior!"
"Pinkie, help me!" Discord shouted as the pegasus dragged him away.
The fool did nothing but wave. "You kids have fun!"
She then looked to her side and whispered to the empty void. "They're in love!"
The Lady Rarity appeared with her entourage. She was dressed in a dark gown, her face hidden by a black veil. As she walked, she wept loudly, one hoof clinging to her donkey companion, who watched her sympathetically. On her other side was her sister Sweetie Belle, whose ensemble matched hers. Two guards marched obediently behind them.
Sweetie Belle yelped as she tripped over a rock. Rarity stopped crying for a moment to scold her.
"Watch where you step, Sweetie Belle!"
"I can't help it, sister!" the filly exclaimed, lifting her veil. "It's hard to see through this thing! Do we have to do this every day?"
"Indeed we must, little sister," Rarity said solemnly. "It is the only way we can pay respect to our dearly departed brother."
Sweetie Belle groaned. "But it's so boring!"
"Sweetie Belle! Is that any way to honor your brother's death?"
"But the funeral was a month ago! I miss him too, sis, but is this what Fancy Pants would have wanted us to do?"
"Enough!"
"But it's such a beautiful day! Can't we play hide-and-seek or catch frogs?"
"No, sister! We cannot want for idleness when our brother is dead!"
"Fancy would have played with me," Sweetie Belle grumbled under her breath.
"Did I hear some pony say 'play?'"
The filly lit up in excitement at the sound of Pinkie Pie's voice. The one-mare-band jumped in the entourage's path.
"Cuz Pinkie Pie is here to play! I will cheer you up and brighten up your day!"
She blew hard into her sousaphone, only to be silenced by Rarity:
"No, Pinkie! I have no interest in such folly today." She turned to the guards. "Take the fool away."
The two stallions nodded and approached the pink mare. She raised an eyebrow at them.
"Didn't you hear her?" she asked, pointing at the unicorn. "Take her away!"
Sweetie Belle snickered. Rarity looked at Pinkie curiously through her veil.
"Are you calling me a fool, madam?"
"Well, you said take away the fool," Pinkie replied, "and the fooliest fool I see around here is you."
"How dare you?!" the donkey bellowed.
"Easy, Cranky," Rarity said before turning to the jester again. "What is your reason behind this insult?"
"Oh, I didn't mean to be rude," Pinkie explained, "I was just speaking the truth."
"If I am such a fool, prove it."
"Okie dokie!"
The pink mare shrugged out of her instruments and approached the lady.
"Tell me, Rarity. Why do you dress in black and cry so much and don't even smile and hide your face like you've got a huge zit and act so sad and make me sad because you're sad? Why is that?"
"My brother died," Rarity replied with sadness.
"Oh yes," Pinkie sighed, looking up at the clouds. "That's right. He's gone to the big castle in the sky." She gasped. "Or has he gone to the other place?!"
"I know he's in Heaven, you fool!" the unicorn insisted angrily.
"Well, isn't it all the more foolish to be sad that your brother's in Heaven?"
Rarity opened her mouth to speak but found no argument. Pinkie looked smugly at the guards and gestured toward the unicorn.
"Take away the fool, boys."
Sweetie Belle burst out laughing and Rarity let out a giggle.
"There we go!" Pinkie exclaimed, lifting the veil from Rarity's face. "There's that smile!"
The unicorn playfully nudged the jester's shoulder. "You always know how to cheer me up, Pinkie."
"Aw, it's no biggie! I also know how to make cupcakes!"
The donkey rolled his eyes. "Why are we wasting time with this fool, my lady? She does nothing but nonsense."
He grunted as the pink mare hopped on his back.
"Come on, Doodle!" she chimed, lifting up the corners of his mouth. "Give a smile here!"
The donkey tugged his face away and tossed the jester off his back. She landed on the ground with a thud.
"No pony calls me Doodle!" he shouted.
"Oh, do lighten up, Cranky!" Rarity said as she helped Pinkie off the ground. "There's no harm in taking pleasure in ridiculousness every now and then."
"But my lady, you're in mourning..."
"And now my vigil is done for the day. Let's go inside, Pinkie. Come along, Sweetie Belle."
Sweetie Belle smiled and followed the mares excitedly.
"Hey, Pinkie! Can you do that thing with your face? Oh, oh! Or pull a platypus out of your hat?"
"How about I give you a platypus of your own?" Pinkie suggested.
"Really?"
The jester pulled a long balloon out of her suit and blew it up in one breath. Then she twisted it several ways into the shape of a platypus. She presented it to the unicorn filly.
"Oh, I thought you meant...never mind."
"You know?" Pinkie said to the lady. "I'm surprised at you, Rarity."
"Whatever do you mean?" Rarity asked as they walked through the doors of the mansion.
"I heard you say that for seven years you would hide your face from every pony and mourn day and night and yet you're not wearing your veil right now and you're laughing at my jokes!" She stuck her nose in the unicorn's face. "What are you really hiding, huh?"
"Pinkie!" Rarity exclaimed, slapping the mare away. "Personal space!"
"Well? Why are you really being a dramatic drama queen?"
The unicorn stopped and turned to her sister. "Sweetie Belle, would you leave us be?"
The filly nodded and left the two mares in the study. Rarity shut the doors and turned to her friend with an exasperated sigh.
"Alright, you caught me," she admitted. "You see, I'm using my brother's death as an excuse to turn away suitors. The Duke Spike won't leave me alone and that friend of my uncle's really makes me uncomfortable! If they think I'm in mourning, they won't question my motives."
"Aha!" Pinkie cried. "I knew it!"
Rarity hung her head. "I truly miss my brother though."
The jester smiled sympathetically and placed her hoof on the unicorn's shoulder. "I know."
Rarity grinned in return and embraced her friend as she wept.