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// What Did You Just Call Me, Applejack? 
// Story: The Cleansing 
// by BronyWriter 
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Twilight Sparkle yawned as the first rays of the morning sun crept over her window, and she cracked open an eye to see a flawlessly blue sky, heralding what was sure to be a gloriously sunny day. She smiled to herself and scratched her stomach as she sat up. Last night had been surprisingly light in the studying area, and as such she was in bed by nine. She certainly felt well rested. 

Twilight glanced over at the clock on her wall and saw that it read half past eight. She had gotten enough sleep to energize her for the day. She hopped out of bed and walked over to her dresser to comb her mane, and was delighted when she smelled Spike cooking what seemed to be blueberry pancakes on the stove. She set her brush down and trotted over to the kitchen, where Spike was just putting a small stack on a plate at her usual spot. 

"Good morning, Spike." Twilight sat down and began pouring syrup on her pancakes. "Did you sleep well?"

Spike shrugged and put a stack of pancakes of his own on the table. "About usual. You?"

Twilight passed Spike the syrup. "Same here. I was in bed pretty early, so it took a little longer than normal to get to sleep, but other than that it was fine."

Spike nodded, and the two chatted for a few minutes while they ate their breakfast. Twilight finished hers fairly quickly, and she stood up to put her dishes in the sink. "I'll be doing some light reading for a few hours, okay?" Twilight turned on the water to let the dishes soak before turning her head to Spike. "How about something simple for lunch like fruit salad?"

Spike pushed his empty plate away and shook his head. "Nope. Can't do that. We're out of fruit, remember? There was that Ponyville potluck last week and we made a fruit salad for that."

Twilight frowned and walked over to the fridge after shutting the sink off. "No, I swear we..." Twilight opened the fridge and, sure enough, it was suspiciously devoid of fruit. For that matter, it was rather empty of rather a lot of things that two beings needed to eat. Twilight raised an eyebrow and shut the door. She walked over to her schedule for that month and checked the date. "Ah." She nodded. "Right. Today's the day we have to do our shopping."

Spike stood up and put his dishes in the sink on top of Twilight's. "Well I can run out and get a few things while you get to your books." 

Twilight shook her head and walked out into the main room of the library. She ignited her horn and levitated her saddlebags onto her back. "No need, Spike. I need to get a little fresh air. Besides, I've been meaning to talk to Applejack about lending her some books on pest control." Twilight gave Spike a wry smile. "Seems those fruit bats are at it again." Twilight shrugged and opened the library door. "I'll be back in an hour, maybe two. Hold down the fort until I do, number one assistant."

"Yes ma'am!" Spike said with an enthusiastic salute. Twilight chuckled softly and shut the door behind her, letting the warm rays of the run wash over her as she trotted towards town. 

As she walked towards the market, she mused that this really was the perfect day for shopping. Her stipend from Princess Celestia had come in three days ago, as well as her pay from the city for being the librarian, so she was able to get whatever she needed, and she had been told by Applejack that the last of the apples had just been harvested, so they were perfectly fresh. On top of that, the weather was perfect, so an open-air market was ideal. 

Twilight reached the market and saw the Apple family's apple stand being run by Applejack and Big Mac. Applejack was taking with talking with Blossomforth, but Blossomforth didn't seem to actually be interested in buying anything. In fact, the conversation seemed to be getting rather heated. Twilight frowned, but her worries were assuaged when Blossomforth and Applejack's glares faded and they exchanged smiles and even a few laughs before Blossomforth flew away. Twilight mentally shrugged. It wasn't her business, and it seemed to be resolved anyway.

She stopped in front of Applejack's stand and smiled warmly at her friend. "Well hello there, Applejack. How are you this morning?"

Applejack raised an eyebrow and cocked her head. "What's it to ya? Ah didn't think ya stick heads cared about us 'worthless mud ponies.'"

Twilight's eyes widened, and her jaw nearly hit the ground. She had never heard Applejack talk like that to anypony before, much less her. To call a unicorn a stick head was about the worst thing that one could say to one, and Twilight doubted that Applejack didn't know that. Trivializing a unicorn's horn, one of the most important parts of them, was no small matter. She managed to blink a few times as her brain re-booted. "Uh... I..." She blinked again. "I don't..." 

Applejack scoffed. "Ain't ya got someplace better ta be? Ya know, like countin' yer money and talkin' about how yer the 'master race' or somethin' like that?" Applejack frowned at Twilight. "Ah'm surprised that y'all would come ta talk ta... ta...." Applejack's frown deepened as her voice faded, but this time there was confusion behind her expression instead of reproach. She glanced back at Big Mac, who merely shrugged, then back to Twilight, whose lower jaw was quivering. "Uh... Twi? You do know what day it is, don't you?"

Twilight took a deep breath. "T-Tuesday?" she said in a tiny voice.

"Oh..." Applejack squeezed her eyes shut and facehooved. "Oh dangnabbit, Ah thought y'all knew about today!" Applejack groaned and thunked her hoof against the side of her head. "The day ain't even beginnin' and Ah already broke one of the rules!" 

A slight frown crossed Twilight's face. "Huh? What do you mean? I don't..." She looked between Applejack and Big Mac, hoping to find some hint as to what the former was talking about. "I don't understand."

"Yeah, and that's the problem. Ah shoulda asked." Applejack sighed and beckoned Twilight. "Come on. Ah'll explain everythin'. You hold down the stand okay, Big Mac?" 

"Eeyup."

"Good." Applejack smiled kindly at Twilight and led her out of the market and into the shade of a large tree about fifty hooves away. She motioned for Twilight to sit down, and she did the same.

"Okay, first off, Ah want ta apologize fer callin' you a 'stick head' like that." Applejack shifted uncomfortably and flattened her ears. "Ah know sayin' that to a unicorn ain't polite in the least bit, so Ah bet you're wonderin' why Ah woulda even thought about it."

Twilight leaned against the tree and crossed her forelegs, her eyes narrowing slightly. "Yeah. A little."

Applejack sighed. "Yeah, Ah'll bet." She looked out towards the market and shook her head. "Twilight, have ya ever heard of "The Cleansing?""

Twilight raised an eyebrow and shook her head. "No I haven't. I take it that it has something to do with why you called me..." Twilight's ear twitched. "That." 

Applejack nodded and looked back to Twilight. "Sure does. Ya see, back when Ponyville was founded, it was an all earth pony town, see? Well, about thirty years after that, it started gettin' fruitful and all that, so other ponies came ta settle down here. Some of 'em pegasi and unicorns too."

"And that caused some tension," Twilight guessed.

"Sure as I'm sittin' here it did." Applejack adjusted her stetson on her head before continuing. "Well, at first it was just words: stick head, feather brain, mud pony, that kind of thing, but it wasn't long before it got outta control, and a pair of earth ponies were beat up by some unicorns. The mayor had ta devise a solution, and, well, he came up with a bunch of different ones and the town voted on The Cleansing, or Cleansing Day is another term for it." Applejack shrugged. "We've been doin' it ever since."

"Okay..." Twilight furrowed her brow and looked down at the ground. "But I'm still a little confused on just what that is."

"It's pretty simple. From sunrise ta sunset, everypony gets ta be as racist as they want. No repercussions, no social stigmas, nothin'."

Twilight looked back up at Applejack. "Just like that?"

"Well no," said Applejack with a shake of her head. "Ya see, the mayor knew from the very beginnin' that there'd hafta be a few rules in place ta make sure it didn't get out of hoof." Applejack held up a hoof. "Rule number one: no bein' racist to a race that ain't present. Big Mac and Ah can't be talkin' at our stall and makin' jokes about griffins." Applejack held up another hoof. "Rule number two: no violence. Any form of violence on Cleansing Day gets ya triple the amount of punishment ya normally would have gotten." Applejack extended a hind leg. "Rule number three: adults can't be racist ta foals. Ah can't walk up ta Scootaloo and call her a featherbrain." 

"I see."

Applejack shrugged. "If Apple Bloom wants to, that's her business, but Ah can't. Ya followin' me so far?" 

Twilight nodded. "Yeah, I think so." She crossed her forelegs again. "And this works?"

"Sure does." Applejack shrugged again. "Ah mean, the whole day is kinda a joke now since we've had harmony between the three races fer a long time now, but from what Ah understand, just five years after Cleansing Day got goin', racially motivated crimes and hate speech went down to next ta nothin'." 

"Huh..." Twilight frowned and scratched the back of her neck. "Those are the rules?"

"Well, there is one more rule that's pretty important." Applejack extended her other hind leg. "Rule number four is that if a pony says they don't want ta participate in Cleansing Day, they're off limits. Nopony can say anythin' bad to 'em. Simple as that." 

"So all I have to say is 'Applejack don't call me a stick head again' and I'm not involved anymore?"

Applejack smiled at Twilight and nodded. "Yep. Simple as that." Applejack's smile turned a little wry. "Of course, the second you says somethin' racist, yer fair game."

"Of course," Twilight muttered. "I mean..." She grunted and facehooved. "Why not? That's a completely logical rule on a day where everybody gets to be racist. I mean, the whole premise of the day is completely logical in of itself!"

Applejack flattened her ears. "Ah understand how ya might think it's odd, sugarcube, but, we really don't see it as that big of a deal here."

"Of course not." Twilight got to her hooves and shook her head. "I mean, you've been doing it since as long as Ponyville has been around! It's tradition! Why would you stop just because I happen to think that it's crazy?"

Applejack got to her hooves and uneasily scratched the back of her neck. "Well, it's the way we've always done things, Twi. You saw how sorry Ah was, and still am, that Ah hurt yer feelin's right?" Twilight gave Applejack a slight glare, and she returned it with a sigh. "Look, Twilight: every community in Equestria has its traditions. Some are normal, some are more wide-spread than others, and some are plain silly to outsiders. Even Canterlot, Ah'll bet. Well, we have our weird traditions too, and one of ours is that, just fer one day, we all get ta be totally, completely, absolutely, one hundred percent racist to each other." 

Applejack chanced a small smile, and Twilight's glare faded to a look of exasperation, and that initial feeling that everypony in this town was completely crazy was beginning to creep up again. A town wide, local government sponsored racism day. Only Ponyville... I think. Twilight scoffed and shook her head. "Well, I can't pretend to understand it, but if it's tradition and nopony actually gets hurt..."

Applejack put a hoof on Twilight's shoulder. "Ah assure you that nopony does, Twi. The second somepony says that somepony has gone too far, we back off. Just try not ta take it too seriously, okay?"

"Okay." Twilight sighed and began walking towards town. "I'll see you later, okay?"

Applejack scoffed, but the corners of her mouth turned up in a teasing smile. "Whatever, stick head."

Twilight snapped her head back in Applejack's direction, glared at her, and spoke before she could stop herself. "Right back at you, you worthless mud pony." 

Applejack let out a guffaw and began walking back towards her apple stand and, despite herself, she felt a smile tug at the corners of her lips.