//------------------------------// // Ch. 1 - 8, Package Deal: Blank Slate through Orchid Sky // Story: Nothing Probably Goes on Forever Too // by TundraStanza //------------------------------// A/N: Good news for those of you that didn’t like this story: this will be the last update I ever add to this. More about that in the bottom author’s note. --- Eternity: Nothing Probably Goes on Forever Too Chapter 1: Blank Slate ... I could only see darkness. I could only feel darkness. I was surrounded by dark empty space. Was this a dream? I didn't know. I didn't care. I couldn't feel anything. Surely, you seek purpose. What? What was that? It sounded like a voice, but I couldn't really tell how it was really toned. Before I could ponder, it sounded again. I can give you answers. What was I supposed to make of that? Answers to what? What could this voice possibly have to offer in this empty plane of existence? Find your heart at the core of nightmares. I felt a strange breeze. --- Ugh, I felt horrible. Whenever I woke up from a dream before, I've had to shake my head slightly before forcing my eyes open. Normally, this was followed by reaching over and checking the time and throwing blankets off of me. Today was not one of those days. I felt no blankets covering me. Did I kick them off during the night? I wondered. It took a bit longer for me to open my eyes. I wasn't expecting what I saw next. It looked like a patch of grass in the middle of nowhere. Naturally, I did a double-take and blinked rapidly to try and clear my sight. But the illusion wouldn't fade. I was not in my bed. I was on a patch of grass. Is this what a drunk dream feels like? I thought. I recalled going out to the bar for the first time yesterday on my twenty-first birthday. My older siblings insisted on all of us getting wasted. As the stupid youngest brother, I figured why not. After that, I couldn't really place any memories beyond a blur of a run to the bathroom. Back in the present, I decided that maybe my eyes just needed a good rubbing to help them clear up this grassy field image. So I reached up both of my hooves and did so. ...Wait... I did another double-take at the sight of what I had thought were my hands. What I saw were two sort-of cartoon hooves. They were black as night. They were black as coal. They could have been painted black. Why was I thinking in Rolling Stones lyrics? "What the heck?" I practically yelled. That's when another realization caught me off guard. My voice... didn't sound like my voice. It sounded way too feminine. Not that I had anything against women's voices, but... agh, never mind. I tried speaking at a normal volume over a few random words. "She sells seashells by the sea shore." I could now say with almost absolute certainty what my voice sounded like. It reminded me of Rukia Kuchiki from the anime Bleach. "What is...? How is...? Huh?" I tried to grasp coherent thoughts under these circumstances. As a last ditch effort to hold onto sanity, I looked around at myself. It didn't surprise me that my neck was slightly more flexible with the angles it could turn to. What did surprise me was how the rest of me looked. I looked like a horse. I looked like a black-winged pony. I looked like a black Pegasus with a purple tail that could move with nary a thought. My hair (or was it mane) was long and had the same shade of dark purple. I could only stare with my mouth agape. When I turned forward again, I saw a slow-moving river. I started walking over toward it. Yeah, I walked on all fours but I wasn't thinking about that at the time. Upon reaching the river, I looked down. For the first time, I saw my new face. It resembled a pony's muzzle, black as the rest of my body. My large eyes had irises of the color turquoise. Thankfully, I didn't have draconic slits for pupils. Heaven forbid I plagiarize Pen Stroke even in delirium. Although, something else struck me as odd. In my reflection, I saw a horn above my forehead. "Wait, if I have this," I muttered, "and these," referring to my wings which flapped once involuntarily, "am I an alicorn?" But if my reflection was any reference to work with, I wasn't anywhere near the size of Celestia. Heck, I don't think I was even up to Cadance's height. Now, I may have known a lot of things about My Little Pony that many people would shrug at, but I didn't consider myself a brony. After all, I'd never even looked at the merchandise, let alone made any purchases or donations. I was just a fan of the show and an avid reader of fan fiction. Heck, I even enjoyed watching all sorts of parody videos made by lovers and haters alike. Anyway, I was for all intense purposes lost and alone in the middle of nowhere, Equestria. Still not entirely convinced that I was still sane, I decided the best course of action was to follow the river. I dared not risk trying to fly just yet. Having acrophobia as a former human kind of diminished any joys one could expect from flying. So I walked downstream for what felt like a few minutes. I didn't really have a good time reference since the sun didn't look like it was going anywhere. How is it I can walk like a quadruped without tripping? I thought. I guess that was the magic question, because at that moment I tripped over my own hooves. So the fan fic writers were onto something when they said that you should clear your mind while performing a mundane pony task. I slowly picked myself up and let my mind wander to other things. How did I get here? Wherever here is. What magic would choose me out of the countless other people that actually want this kind of thing to happen? What should I do now? What if I can't get back home? Okay, my thoughts were not exactly optimistic. In fact, it sort of bummed me out how often I thought about worst-case scenarios. I decided to try a different approach with my thoughts. I focused on a song during my silent trot. ~Sanctus Espiritus. Redeem us from our solemn hour. Sanctus Espiritus. Insanity is all around us. Sanctus Espiritus. Is this what we deserve? Can we break free From chains of never ending agony?~ Within Temptation sure knew how to perform moving music. --- All I know for sure is I'm trying. I will always stand my ground. Chapter 2: Situation … Conveniences seemed to be common in the actual Equestria as much as they were in television show Equestria. As my thoughts sang the finishing words of another Within Temptation song, I looked up to see where the river was going. It passed right on through a familiar-looking town. Gee, Ponyville is a lot broader when you look at it from the right angle. Wow, it looked beautiful. Despite my state of presumed insanity, common sense decided to ask me something. How will they react to a strange alicorn pony? Although, that thought was instantly replaced with: Do you want to be stranded in the middle of Equestria by your lonesome? I decided to listen to the reasoning of the latter question. I kept up my pace and trotted down the hill, still following the river. Walking into the town of Ponyville was the easy part. Attempting to avoid making a scene, I found was much more difficult. The ponies that were out and about gave me looks of various emotions: indifferent, shocked, nervous, and afraid. I heard various whispers as I continued my walk through the streets. "Who is that?" "Is she an alicorn?" "How is that possible?" "Is she a princess?" "What if it's a cursed pony?" "What kind of curse gives extra body parts?" "What if she's one of those creatures?" "She doesn't even have a cutie mark." "What is she?" I sighed on the inside. I forgot that rumors spread like wildfire here. I needed to find someone, some pony to listen that would be reasonable. If the show and stories were anything to go by, then my best bet would be to talk with Twilight Sparkle or Fluttershy. But Fluttershy's cottage was near the Everfree Forest and I had no idea where that was in relation to my current position. Twilight it is, then, I thought. I managed to spot the tallest tree above the houses and started heading in that direction. The trek was pretty uneventful, aside from a few more gasps and suspicious stares from the locals. I think I even heard a Pinkie Pie-esque gasp when I passed what looked like Sugarcube Corner. I should have been able to predict the next cliched event, but I didn't. I had reached the house tree library. Just as I lifted a hoof to knock on the door, exhaustion finally caught up with me. I guess going for a full day's walk without food and breaks wasn't a good thing. The mattress felt a little dirty as I laid down. --- I can grant you an identity. A new you. ... "Tundra," I felt my mouth say. Listen to the cold melody... ...and wake up... --- "Wake up!" shouted a voice. "Wah!" I yelped as I fell off a couch. Wood or stone, tumbling onto the floor was not a comfortable experience. "Ow...," I muttered. As I opened my eyes and looked around, I found the source of my disturbance. It was a rather impatient-looking baby dragon. "Oh, good. You're awake," said Spike, "When we found you lying outside in front of the door, Twilight assumed the worst." I gave him a blank stare. I guess he interpreted the stare as one of confusion. "Twilight's the librarian here, and I'm her number one assistant. Call me Spike." "A... All right then, Spike," I stumbled over my words briefly before shaking my head and regaining my bearings. Frankly, I wasn't sure how I was going to explain that I already knew the things he was telling me. I supposed I would wait until I met Twilight personally. A grumbling noise interrupted my train of thought and my stomach felt like it was vibrating. "Heh heh," chuckled Spike, "I guess you're hungry. Actually, this works out perfectly. Twilight wanted me to let her know when you woke up." He started walking and motioned for me to follow him. I did so albeit fairly slowly. He opened a door and let me walk through first. I didn't remember seeing this much of the place's kitchen before right then. It looked like a kitchen mostly ergonomic for human use. I still didn't fully understand how equines could use everything people could. But, those thoughts quickly evaporated as the pony I wanted to see came into view. "Oh! You're awake," she said, "That's good. When I found you outside my door unconscious, I assumed the worst." "So I heard," I replied with a chuckle. My stomach decided to put its two cents of sound effects into the barely started conversation. "Here," said Twilight, "you should probably eat." A sandwich of sorts floated toward me. I assumed it was Twilight's magic considering the magenta-colored glow it held. At this point, I probably made the biggest dick-move ever. I let the sandwich float there and just chomped a bite out of it, without even thinking about grabbing it myself. Huh, daisies tasted just like they smelled. My human mind still found eating flowers like this a bit weird, so it wasn't that pleasurable. "Uh..." hummed Twilight, "Wouldn't it be easier to just take it yourself?" "Huh?" I paused after swallowing the bite, "Right, sorry." I was unsure how to go about grabbing it in a levitating hold like Twilight was doing. I wasn't exactly born with a horn, so using it was a foreign concept to me. How hard could it be? I thought. I decided closing my eyes and concentrating would be a good start. I shut out my mind to anything else, thinking only of grabbing the sandwich with invisible fingers. I felt something swimming in my mind, but it wasn't exactly a grab. I opened one eye to check my progress. What I saw surprised all three occupants of the room. An ice cube. It was a sandwich shaped ice cube, complete with a cut-out in the shape of the bite I just took. If I weren't so shocked, I would have been laughing at the cut-out. Instead I opted for the obvious question. "Did... I just do that?" Yeah, obvious answer, right? I guess the shock was enough to break Twilight's hold on the sandwich, because it fell onto the floor and broke into little bits of ice. "How did you...?" she asked with eyes still open wide, "Was that a cold spell? Is it because you're an alicorn? Do you have some hidden reservoir of untapped magic? Oh, I have so many questions." "I thought I was dealing with Twilight Sparkle, not Pinkie Pie," I managed to insert into the short pause she had taken. The mention of her friend might not have been an ideal timing. Her eyes suddenly squinted in suspicion. "How do you know the name Pinkie Pie?" she inquired. It felt like the air had just dropped in temperature a few degrees and not just because of the ice cube sandwich. I sighed, "You might want to sit down, Twilight. This is going to be a long story." --- Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated? I see the way you're acting like you're somebody else, getting me frustrated. Life's like this. Chapter 3: Walking This Road --- This is a fine kettle of fish I've gotten myself into. How could I forget the possible repercussions of walking into some place unannounced and uninvited? For all I knew, I was completely insane and my story was full of possible, logical holes. I should have known better than to just assume that everything would work out- "Well, that explains everything perfectly," said Twilight with full sincerity. Huh? Did I hear that right? Did Twilight Sparkle, the Twilight Sparkle, the most logical and analytical mind in all of Equestria... did she just believe my full story without questioning all the scientific impossibilities? "It... does?" I asked lamely. I was still getting used to hearing my Rukia-esque voice. "Oh absolutely!" she affirmed, "We had a case almost exactly like that last year." I sat on my rump in bafflement. This had happened before? What crazy fan fictional universe had I entered? "Yeah, that Firewall was a lot of fun," piped up Spike. Firewall? The multi-personality disordered Stoic and Lafter unicorn? The original character from Through the Eyes of Another Pony by CardsLafter? That Firewall was here? I would have fainted right there on command if I knew how. "Are you okay?" asked the baby dragon. I could only shake my head in disbelief. Hunger plus a bunch of mind-boggling statements only led me to feel weary in the past. That combination was doing so right now. "Um," paused Twilight, "Here. Take half of this." She levitated her own sandwich and somehow split it into perfect rectangular halves. I absentmindedly grabbed it with one hoof and started nibbling on the half sandwich while I was lost in my own world of thoughts. If I'm in the Equestria that Firewall was in, then that means... My thoughts tangled over the number of ethical ramifications that had. Luna had a boyfriend. Most of the ponies were familiar with some human memes and witty terminology. Then, the worst idea crossed my thoughts. They know everything. It wasn't until I was on the last bite of the sandwich half that my thoughts returned to the here and now. How am I holding this with just my right hoof? I thought. Apparently, gravity decided to kick in and yank the remaining bite to the floor. That only reinforced what I had found out earlier with my walking: mundane tasks with hooves must be acted upon without thought in order to work. In other words: "stop trying to hit me and hit me". Morpheus was onto something after all. "Sorry," I muttered, "I tend to over think things... a lot." "Ah, don't worry about it," shrugged Spike, "I've seen Twilight think too hard all the time. I'm used to it." Twilight gave him an angry glare but didn't say anything. She then sighed and turned back to me. "Anyway," she said, "you're welcome to stay here until you figure out what you want to do." "Uh, thank you," I replied, "but you really don't have to trouble yourself." "It's no trouble at all. Besides, wouldn't you like to find your cutie mark?" Oh yeah, that's right, I thought as I turned to look at myself. I was by the show's definition a 'blank flank'. I guess it couldn't hurt to try and figure out what I could be here in Equestria. "Oh! I should introduce you to my friends," marveled Twilight, "I'm sure between the six of us we can teach you how to fly, use magic, and be a pony in general." "Th-that sounds great," I stammered. I was still uncomfortable with how surreal this whole situation felt. "And knowing Pinkie Pie," she added, "I bet she's already seen you and started party preparations." "Heh, yeah," I chuckled, "Sounds like Pinkie Pie all right." We shared a good couple of laughs after that. "By the way, what should I call you?" Twilight asked. I thought while rubbing my chin for a bit before saying, "Tundra. Tundra Stanza." --- Ceteris paribus, or "all else held constant", it made the most sense to meet the pony with the least sense first. Well, after meeting the sensible, organized one. That way, introductions with the rest of them would be easier in contrast. So, off to Sugarcube Corner we went. It was certainly different actually walking to it than watching a convenient scene transition. If there was one thing consistent with Pinkie Pie, it had to be parties. No matter what, she always loved to party for any and every situation. She probably even made up something for the reason of over 70 percent of her parties, just for the sake of partying. I guess that's what I liked about her and why I was glad to never be that hyper. One fourth wall breaker in the world was plenty, thank you very much. Knowing that, I almost didn't jump up startled when the lights turned on and every pony there yelled, "SURPRISE!" ...almost. I almost didn't get startled again when a blur of pink, white, and blue obscured my vision... almost. "Hi! I'm Pinkie Pie, and I threw this party just for you! Were you surprised? Were you? Were you? huh? Huh? Huh? You see I know every pony and I mean every pony that's in town but since I don't know you that must mean you're new and that means I should throw a big welcome party to help you make lots of friends." She blinked rapidly with such bliss. I only caught a few of the first two sentences before she scrambled her words in her 'Pinkie Pie talk' mode. "Uh... yeah, it was surprising," I said leaning back a bit in fear of the invasion of my personal space. I think I actually felt sweat dripping from my forehead, and I'm fairly certain it was not that hot in the room. "Great!" she yelped cheerfully, "Ooh, hey! I decided for this party we ought to have a karaoke mic set up. Why don't you head on over to that?" "Huh?" I managed to squeak out before I was grabbed and launched through the air. Next thing I knew, I was on a small stage of sorts in front of a microphone. A colt... er, stallion I guess... was sitting up there playing an acoustic guitar. The tune sounded familiar and before I knew it, I was singing a melody to match it. How can you see into my eyes like open doors Leading you down into my core where I've become so numb? Without a soul My spirit sleeping somewhere cold Until you find it there and lead It... back... home. I lost all sense of the party guests watching and only thought of the music. Wake me up inside. Wake me up inside. Call my name and save me from the dark. Bid my blood to run Before I come undone. Save me from the nothing I've become. I felt... happy just singing my heart out. Now that I know what I'm without You can't just leave me. Breathe into me and make me real. Bring... me... to life. Wake me up inside. Wake me up inside. Call my name and save me from the dark. Bid my blood to run Before I come undone. Save me from the nothing I've become. Bring me to life. Bring me to life. The guitar changed from its usual chorus to the next verse. Frozen inside without your touch Without your love, darling. Only you are the life among the dead. A few silent strums were struck before the chorus resumed. Wake me up inside. Wake me up inside. Call my name and save me from the dark. Bid my blood to run Before I come undone. Save me from the nothing I've become. Bring me to life. Hmm... Hmm... Bring me to life. As the guitarist played his last few chords, I heard a faint twinkling noise from behind my head. --- All of this time I can't believe I couldn't see. Kept in the dark but you were there in front of me. I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems. Got to open my eyes to everything. Without a thought, without a voice, without a soul. Don't let me die here. There must be something more. Chapter 4: Without You --- I opened my eyes seconds after I heard a faint, twinkling noise. What... was I... doing? I thought, Wait. I looked around at my sides. There was a symbol that looked like an eighth note in the color of ice: whitish-blue yet translucent. I had a cutie mark. ... I HAD A CUTIE MARK! The other ponies at that party reminded me of their presence with several hoof stomps. They added cheers, shouts of praise, and the occasional whistle or two. I opened my wings and crossed my front right hoof in front of my other one. I hoped it looked like an equivalent for bowing. It seemed to work sufficiently as the cheers continued for several seconds. I trotted off the small stage as the cheering started to die down. Every pony started resuming whatever conversations they were having before. That is, every pony except... "Wowie zowie! That was super, terrific singing!" ...Pinkie Pie. I was still miffed that she practically threw me onto the stage earlier, but really. Who can stay mad at such a happy face? "Thanks," I managed to reply. I'm pretty sure I was blushing. "Seriously," said Twilight as she approached, "your voice and sense of rhythm flowed together perfectly." "Ooh! And you even got your cutie mark," acknowledged Pinkie, "This calls for a celebration!" "Aren't we already in the middle of one?" I asked. Pinkie lifted her hoof to her chin as if in deep thought before gasping, "You're right. I should double up on cake and decorations and make this a doubley fun party!" She then performed a cartoon zip line motion to leave the vicinity in a split-second. "Typical Pinkie Pie," said Twilight and I at the same time. Upon realizing this, she added, "Jinx. You owe me a drink." "Ah, so you're familiar with that expression," I commented. I decided to humor her and trotted over the punch bowl. Luckily, the path wasn't blocked off by the numerous dancers and minglers at the party. I started to wonder if magic was another thing that couldn't be performed if it was over thought. It just had to be done. So, instead of closing my eyes and imagining invisible hands, I just looked at one of the cups and the ladle. A turquoise-colored aura surrounded them and moved them in the fashion a person would move them to pour a drink. At first I thought I was getting the hand of using magic. Then, without any warning, the cup became surrounded by a layer of ice. The contents, however, were still liquid. I was surprised, but I didn't drop the cup to the floor. Somehow, I was still levitating it even though the aura I was using faded a little. I decided to walk over to where Twilight was. At that time, she was talking with one of her friends. I assumed it was Rarity by the white coat and deep, purple mane. "Here, Twilight," I said with a straight face, "I hope you don't mind if it's a little cold." I floated the cup over to her. She turned her head to look at the cup, opened her eyes wide, and then giggled before taking it in her own magical grasp. "Thanks," she said with a somewhat amused expression. "You must be Rarity," I said to Twilight's talking buddy, "I'm Tundra Stanza. It's a pleasure to meet you personally." I lowered my head in respect before raising it again. "Likewise," she said returning the gesture. --- The party dragged on for a couple more hours. I managed to at least introduce myself to each of the main six ponies. Rainbow Dash's hello had been short and sweet (big surprise). Applejack had been loud and proud. Fluttershy was just so darn cute. I didn't even mind that I could barely hear her sentence. At some point when I wasn't looking, Pinkie Pie had managed to double up on the confetti, balloons, and even the banners. The second one read, "Happy Cute-Ceañera Tundra!" Heh heh, clever. She even doubled the amount of cake. I ended up eating two slices of red velvet and two slices of carrot cake. How did Pinkie know those were my favorites? I may never find out. On the bright side, the punch wasn't spiked (oh, the pun) with rupees or anything of the sort. That's good, because there were fillies and young colts attending the party as well. Seeing any of the Crusaders drunk was not on my list of life goals. Eventually, the guests began to thin out and the music faded into a soothing silence. It was time for every pony to head home. I managed to haggle sleeping arrangements at Twilight's house. By that, I mean she offered and I accepted. I wasn't always good with asking outright about what I was thinking. We trotted in silence in the direction of the library. I didn't really know what I was going to do now. Why was I here? What force brought me here and what was I supposed to do? Constantly pondering in circles wouldn't help. For now, I needed to rest. Pink blankets weren't exactly appealing to me but if I learned anything from the show, I was not going to look my gift horse in her mouth. With a blow from Twilight, the last light in the house went out. --- Something was terribly wrong. I was woken up by movement, but it was clearly too dark for it to be morning assuming Princess Celestia was on proper schedule. "She thought she could escape me, but now I have the focal point of Magic." My half-awake state quickly changed to full alertness as I jumped out of the bed. Brushing off the blanket from my left wing, I turned to the source of the voice. To say I was shocked would be an understatement. My jaw held slack as I looked at the light purple, translucent mane of a draconic-eyed pony. Twilight Sparkle looked just like an old fan art picture of her Nightmare-possessed self. "T... Twilight?" I hesitantly asked, though I already knew the answer. "Not exactly," said the unicorn as I was suddenly impacted by a blast of pure magic. Against my will, I was flying through the door to the outside. At least the grass was merciful with dealing pain. I managed to right myself from lying on my back to standing on my hooves. I turned to face my attacker who was calmly walking out of the tree house. She raised her head and laughed. I knew Tara Strong could act an evil laugh but this... this cackle gave my shivers the shivers. Some of the windows and doors opened as ponies looked to see what was going on. Needless to say, several of them panicked at the sight of a Nightmare possessed unicorn. Screams and random running accurately reflected their televised counterparts. --- I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. A cool breeze started to pick up and move my mane. I let a familiar tune pass through my mind and began to sing it aloud with a somewhat higher voice. My Little Pony, My Little Pony, What is friendship all about? My Little Pony, My Little Pony Friendship is magic! I was soon joined by an invisible choir that rode the winds. I didn't mind holding the melody. (My Little Pony) I used to wonder what friendship could be. (My Little Pony) Until you all shared its magic with me. When I was young I was too busy to make any friends. Such silliness did not seem worth the effort it expends. But my little ponies, you opened up my eyes And now the truth is crystal clear, as splendid summer skies. And it's such a wonderful surprise. (My Little Pony) I used to wonder what friendship could be. (My Little Pony) Until you all shared its magic with me. Miraculously, Twilight's five best friends started gathering behind me as the song said each of their names. When danger makes me want to hide, you'll Rainbow Dash to my side, Kindness is never in short supply, once smitten twice Fluttershy. For honesty no pony can deny, you are the Applejack of my eye, A heart that shines so beautiful, a Rarity to come by And you all make fun and laughter as easy as Pinkie Pie! (My Little Pony) I used to wonder what friendship could be. (My Little Pony) Until you all shared its magic with me. My voice became gentler for the brief bridge of the song. Our friendship's magic and it's growing all the time. A new adventure waits for us each day is yours and mine. We'll make it special every time! We'll make it special every time! The invisible choir and I resumed the upbeat tempo. (My Little Pony) I used to wonder what friendship could be. (My Little Pony) Until you all shared its magic with me. Big adventure, tons of fun, A beautiful heart, faithful and strong, Sharing kindness is an easy feat And magic makes it all complete, yeah! (My Little Pony) Do you know you're all my very best (Friends!) Friends, you're my very best (Friends!) Friends, you're my very best (Friends!) Friends, you're my very best (Friends!) Friends! As the winds died down, something was happening to the possessed unicorn. She was holding her head in pain. I bet she was fighting against her parasitic cloud. Said cloud then decided to leave its host of its own free will. "Fine!" shouted Nightmare, "If I can't have her, I'll just have to silence you!" It pounced upon me before I could react. I couldn't move as the shadow cloud started to fade into my skin. I could just barely sense a cyan-colored chest plate appear on me before everything went black. --- Can you face your friends if you've cast them aside? How can you face the light if in darkness you've chosen to hide? Chapter 5: To Remake Forgotten Promises ... I was dreaming… but which parts… were the dream? I felt my eyes open. I was surrounded mostly by a gray abyss. What was not abyss was the source of light in front of me. I saw an all too familiar magenta star shape hanging as if on a wall. Beneath that star were five doorways. Each held a discolored shape of their respective Element. From left to right there was the apple of Honesty, the balloon of Laughter, the gem of Generosity, the butterfly of Kindness, and the lightning bolt of Loyalty. In order to reclaim what was lost, echoed a voice that I did not recognize, you must first venture the virtues of old. I didn't exactly have any way to wake myself up at the moment, so I decided to humor the faceless voice and follow its vague advice. I started walking forward, taking note of the fact that I couldn't see my body as I moved along. In the dreamland of nonsense, I would try to make at least some organized direction. I first stepped in front of the gray apple, and walked through the door to who knew where. --- "That just can't be the truth," I said looking up from the pond. I had just seen the vision of us splitting up after completing the quest. I couldn't believe it. Our friendship over, just like that? "When all the truth does," said the living pile of apples, "is make your heart ache, sometimes a lie is easier to take." I stood cold there, pondering that statement. Maybe it was easier to accept and tell lies. Wait a minute, I thought, just because it's easier doesn't make it right. Sure the truth does hurt sometimes, but lying will only lead to stringing a web of more lies and those cut deeper than any painful truth ever will. I could move again. My resolve was restored. "Who were you talking to?" asked Twi as she walked up behind me. "Would you believe a pile of talking apples?" I asked. "Considering what Discord's capable of, that wouldn't surprise me," she answered. "C'mon, Twi," I said tipping my hat in determination, "We gotta find the rest of our friends." --- I found myself in the abyss that I had started in. But there was something different this time. The leftmost doorway was closed and a shimmering orange-colored apple shone brightly above it. "Did I just live through one of Applejack's memories?" I asked no one in particular. Each virtue relived will bring you closer to the truth. Well, that was easy, I thought, Might as well see where the rest of this path goes. With confidence in my step, I walked through the doorway marked with the gray balloon. --- "No! Stop it!" I shouted but the balloons just crept in further. What I had first thought were cheerful faces now looked more menacing. What's worse were the five balloons that took the faces of my best friends and laughed at me in the most mocking tone of voices. "Stop laughing at me!" I pleaded with my head on the ground. "Oh, poor Pinkie Pie," cooed the Discord balloon, "And here I thought laughter made you happy." "Happy?" I growled, "I don't think so." Wait a minute, I suddenly thought, What am I getting so upset about? Plenty of ponies find me funny. In fact, I laugh at me too. It's important to learn to laugh at yourself. I looked down at my hooves and thought, I'm gray. Gray! Ah ha ha ha ha! HA HA ha ha ha! It was so hilarious. I just couldn't contain my giggles. Here I was thinking that laughing at me was so bad. If I laugh at myself, doesn't that mean we're sharing? I didn't even notice that the balloons were popping. I was laughing so hard. I didn't even realize I had regained my colors. "Pinkie Pie!" called Twilight, "Are we glad to see you!" "Oh-ho, Twilight!" I chuckled, "I was gray! Gray! Can you believe it? Ah ha ha ha ha ha! I've never thought something was so funny before. Well except for that time I saw him dancing on your head and I went, 'Pfft ah ha ha ha!' but I mean really, who can top that?" "Same old Pinkie Pie," Twilight smiled. --- The door to Laughter was closed. A sky blue balloon shone brightly above it. Not even giving a pause, I stepped through the next doorway. --- "I was expecting an audience with the Princess," I complained, "not outdoor sports." I ran into a wall and went, "Oh my." "Welcome to your lucky day, Rarity" rang the voice of the draconequus, "You've found the one thing in Equestria that could rival my face for sheer beauty." At this the three diamonds engraved in the wall shone brighter than they did before. "What do you think?" his voice continued, "You like?" "Yes," I said mesmerized, "I like very much." I leaned in a bit before shaking my head. "No!" I declared defiantly, "I shan't succumb to such fabulousness." I walked away with strained steps, "Must... get to the center... to meet... the others." It was getting harder to resist the pretty, pretty, shiny, shiny. But then another thought crossed me. "Digging into that kind of wall without my magic would ruin my hooficure." I walked away more fervently before adding, "Besides, what's the point in obtaining a treasure if there's no pony to share it with?" I picked up my ladylike pace. Nothing would stop me from reuniting with my friends. Least of all a rock. --- I took note of the purple diamond hanging above the recently closed doorway before walking through the next one. --- "Not really," I replied innocently, "In fact, I think I'm awfully lucky to have friends who want me to be the best I can be." The butterflies I was talking to immediately flashed and were replaced by Discord. I backpedaled in surprise. "Oh for goodness sake!" he shouted before poking my head, "You've been kind for far too long, my dear. Time to be cruel. Arrivederci!" With that farewell, he disappeared. "Ouch," I whispered. Cruelness only leads to more ponies feeling bad, I thought sadly, I don't want to be the cause of pain to others. I just want to help where I can. "Fluttershy!" shouted Twilight cheerfully, "I'm so glad to see you!" "Me too," I muttered as I gave her a hug with my front hooves, "Me too." --- The pink butterfly shone brightly over the second to last door. Only one remained. I took a slightly more cautious step through the last doorway. I think a bit of Fluttershy's personality rubbed off on me. --- "Hey, I'm here to deliver a message," said Discord holding his palms in my direction. "I've got a message for you too!" I shouted while waving my front hooves using what I remembered from my karate classes. "Listen closely," said the ugly guy while taking his sunglasses off, "This is important. A weighty choice is yours to make. The right selection or a big mistake. If a wrong choice you choose to pursue, the foundations of home will crumble without you." He snapped his fingers to summon a cloudy vision of... my home... falling to pieces. "Cloudsdale?" I choked, "Crumble? Without me. NOOOO!" My worries made it easier to startle me when a wrapped up box appeared out of thin air. "That box contains your wings," claimed Discord, "You can take them and leave the game, or you can carry on aimlessly wandering this maze. Your choice." He made the choice sound so easy. I could just take my wings and save Cloudsdale. I could be the hero! I just had to break one rule of this stupid game. But, if I leave now, I thought, who will help my friends? Even if I do somehow save Cloudsdale, who's to say that jerk wouldn't just take it over and destroy it once he's done with Ponyville? This wasn't about me. This was a decision about what really matters. My friends needed me more right now. I was going to stand by their side and fight. I spat in the direction of the present and quickly galloped down the maze in a different direction. "Don't worry, guys," I said, "I'm coming!" --- When the five are present, they reveal and strengthen the sixth. Now that the red lightning bolt was in place, the five doorway Elements shone brightly and arced a light toward the magenta star above them. It too glowed brighter than ever. Your final task will begin. I was engulfed by white light. Now I stood in a white abyss and I could see my black hooves again. Was the dream over? My question was quickly answered by an omnipotent cloud of dark energy floating a ways in front of me. "How is this possible?" asked the Nightmare angrily, "Your soul should have been wiped from existence!" "I guess I just don't die that easily," I replied with a straight face. It growled in response and charged after me. Dodging attacks was a lot easier when there was so much open space. "What allows you to resist me?!" the cloud demanded. Bells whistled in my ear before I gave my retort. "Dance, Sode no Shirayuki!" a katana manifested and I held it by wrapping my right hoof around the hilt. "W... what?" stammered Nightmare. Her dark essence started flowing like a stream. It flowed right into the katana. Its color changed to a snowy, white color and a long, white ribbon attached itself to the sword's hilt. "I... I remember," said the voice though it no longer sounded spiteful, "You... are me." --- The white alicorn with a faded blue mane stood as blizzard winds seemed to spiral around her. She wore a helmet and chest plate of evergreen colors. She opened her eyes to reveal green irises like those of a regular pony. "I am Shirayuki, the white snow," she said calming herself and the winds that were blowing around. As the ponies looked on, her armor cracked and shattered. The white alicorn vanished. In its place, a black, purple-maned alicorn fell to the ground unconscious. --- Whatever lies beyond this morning Is a little later on Regardless of warnings the future doesn't scare me at all Nothing's like before. Chapter 6: Meet You At Road's End --- Sunlight was eating at my eyelids. I could feel the rays burning at them, trying to force them open so that I'd have to wake up. Eventually, I'd have to face the day. I mean really, what could a guy like me do without food, water, and exercise? Reluctantly, I gave into the morning sun's wishes and opened my eyes. I rolled the blankets off of myself, and turned to stand... ...only to fall onto all fours. That's... not normal, I thought. I think the clip-clop noise startled me out of my half-awake trance. I stared down to look at my hands to see what was magnetizing them to the floor. At first, I was afraid seeing black hooves where peach skin should have been. Then, memories started flowing back to me about the recent couple of days. Oh yeah... I'm a pony now, I thought. I turned to look at the rest of my body and remembered some more. And I'm a girl now. I didn't really have any reason to be disappointed. There was nothing inherently wrong with being a girl. It was just a bit of a let-down turning into something that I wasn't. Forgive me for stealing your words, Adam Jensen but I never asked for this. I knew a few people that did want this. But, I never thought that I was that obsessed with the pony-based universe. What did fate want me to gather from this? For that matter, why did fate decide to send the show's first antagonist and primary source of darkness at me after I just got here? I was surprised that I didn't feel the insanity that was described in several Human in Equestria stories. It was both comforting yet distilling that at least some form of normalcy existed in a world entirely constructed of what I had thought was fiction. The slowness for reality to sink into my conscious mind combined with my flat hooves were all that stood between me and ripping my hair out. As usual, my thoughts tried to circle around to earlier ideas. In the dream, the Nightmare had said, "You are me," as it entered that katana. Why a katana? Additionally, why did I shout the phrase for a Zanpaktou release that only Rukia Kuchiki should be capable of? These questions weren't getting answered, and this whole thing was starting to make my head hurt. I decided to do the one thing I always do when my thoughts get convoluted: go out for a walk. I slowly made my way down the library's two flights of stairs, barely sparing a glance for the numerous bookshelves I passed. Melvil Dewey would have had a field day here. At the ground level area, I saw Spike rushing around. I guessed he was organizing Twilight's most recent study mess. "Morning, Tundra," he called without losing a beat in his reshelving. "Morning, Spike," I replied, though I lacked any enthusiasm when I said that, "I'm going out for some air." "All right, but don't be gone too long. Twilight said she wanted to talk to you about something." "I don't doubt that." I used my magical hold to open the door, though I accidentally left the door knob frozen from my icy grip. I guess I'd have to get used to that through practice. I decided to just kick the door closed as I left. It slammed a little louder than I would have liked. I had slightly more acute senses than the average person. For all the good they did me, it was kind of pointless to have that extra sensitivity. --- The sunlight felt warm against my black hide. While it felt kind of nice, I felt a bit uncomfortable anticipating the temperature to rise to a cooking level. Luckily, there seemed to be a bit of a breeze flowing through the streets. I assumed I could thank whatever Pegasi were in charge of weather that day. I was certain the cool air was all that was keeping me from frying in my own sweat. I enjoyed exercising, in spite of my change in center of gravity. I never really thought about the number of differences between walking as a person and walking as a pony. It was probably because I never thought I'd need to think about that. You didn't randomly change species and location without some cause, right? I shook my head. If I thought too much about walking and anatomy, I'd most likely trip over my hooves again. It helped that there weren't as many rumors about me floating between the town residents. I guess Pinkie's parties can make anyone feel welcome. (No, I will not ponify every word I can. I speak English.) I still got a few glances and stares, but these were now looks of curiosity and not suspicion. I even saw a few strangers wave to me. I didn't want to raise a hoof and trip so I gave them what I hoped was a polite nod of acknowledgement. --- I'm not sure how I got there, but I had found my way to the large open area known as Ponyville Park. I really should have considered asking Spike for a map of town before heading out so that I could gain some geographical knowledge for future navigation. As I walked along, I glanced towards the lone, white bench to the side of the sanded path. On it sat a familiar minty green unicorn fiddling with her lyre. A certain multi-voiced earth pony was absent but that made sense. Even best friends didn't spend 24 hours a day with each other. "Hello!" I called when I had walked within a few feet from the bench. "Oh, hi!" perked up the bench sitter, "You're... Tundra, right?" "That would be me," I affirmed with a nod. "Nice to meet you. I'm Lyra." Yes, the fans got it right! "Welcome to Ponyville." "Thanks," I smiled briefly before assuming a curious look, "So what are you up to?" "I'm trying to form a new song to catch the attention of any passerby," she explained, "Trouble is, string notes alone only go so far. I need to think of some good lyrics." She rubbed her chin in thought before looking at me, "Hey, Tundra, do you think you could use your talent for music to give this tune of mine some oomph?" "Huh?" I was caught slightly off guard by that question, but then I said, "Well, sure I suppose. Let's hear what you've got so far." Lyra started playing a slow melody of notes, plucking the strings with her magic. The pattern sounded vaguely familiar. Before I knew it, my mouth was releasing words of a song that felt like they emerged from the depths of my soul, if that makes any sense at all. For a thousand years I've waited here for you Waiting every night For I thought you were the Answer to my life Days turned into years And into centuries Patience had to fade Don't you see that there is Vengeance in my eyes? The chords from the lyre began to take a different major. Luna won't you cry for me I'm as lonely as I've ever been I am forced back into the start Is there any way to fix a broken heart? I don't know when I closed my eyes, but when I did, I could see a vision of stars flowing with the song. Infinite despise And endless jealousy Bottled in my soul Has erupted as I'm Tearing through the skies Days turned into years And into centuries Patience had to fade Don't you see that there is Vengeance in my eyes? I took a brief pause as Lyra changed chords again. Luna won't you cry for me I'm as lonely as I've ever been I am forced back into the start Is there any way to fix a broken heart? While I didn't see them, I could just feel frozen tears spilling from my eyes to the ground below me. Notes from the lyre continued to play for what felt like a full minute. I was in the zone. Song and emotion became one with me. Luna won't you cry for me I'm as lonely as I've ever been I am forced back into the start Is there any way to fix a broken heart? ... Is there any way to fix a broken heart? I took a deep breath as Lyra played the closing notes to the song. That's when I realized why the song sounded so familiar. Thank you, Eurobeat, I thought. When I opened my eyes, I was surprised to see a rather large group of ponies gathered around and watching. I probably would have tripped and fallen backward if I wasn't frozen stiff in shock. Though, I needn't have felt so nervous. One pony started stomping their hooves, then another. Soon the whole crowd was cheering and stomping in delight. Obviously, they enjoyed that little piece of entertainment. I opened my wings and knelt my head in lieu of a bow. Then, I lifted my head back up and slowly pointed a hoof to the instrumentalist. Some of the crowd looked at her and continued their applause. Lyra was ecstatically smiling and even started bouncing in place, something I had thought only Pinkie Pie was capable of. --- Eventually, the crowds began to thin. Only a few were still walking around the park. Sunset was on the western horizon. At least, I assumed that was west. Lyra thanked me for the fun day. I returned her gratitude with my own thanks. She smiled as she walked off with Bon Bon. I guess they were roommates but there was no confirmation either way. That left one purple unicorn walking up to me with a somewhat happy yet also serious expression. I wasn't sure what to make of it at first. "Tundra... we need to talk." --- You want your freedom? Take it. That's what I'm counting on. I used to want you dead but Now I only want you gone. Chapter 7: First Dance, Tsukishiro --- Cue scene transition to the library! ... No actually, it was a long quiet walk back to the tree building. The local librarian and I had a small-talk conversation regarding today. I told her about Lyra and the little musical number we did together. After that though, there was a long pause of silence. That's what a lot of my conversations were, awkward silence. The pause in sound didn't last long as we arrived at Twilight's abode. She opened the door and let me go in first before she followed and shut the door behind her. "All right," she said with an unreadable expression, "Come on out." "Excuse me?" I asked in confusion. "I know you're in there,... Nightmare." Twilight's voice was creepily calm. "What are you talking about, Twilight?" I still didn't fully get what she was trying to say. "Stop this charade," she said with a somewhat louder voice, "Show yourself to me!" At that moment, it felt like my entire bloodstream had frozen over (at least I think ponies have bloodstreams). I couldn't move a muscle. "Very well," said a new voice using my lips. I lost control. I was forced to watch as my right hoof reached out to the side. A katana manifested in the hoof's grip. "Dance, Sode no Shirayuki," said the voice. The blade gained a solid, white hue as a long, white ribbon attached to the hilt. The whiteness spread to my hooves. Then my vision was shrouded in darkness. --- A snowy, white coated alicorn stood in the former human's place. Her faded, blue mane floated on some nonexistent wind. On herself, she wore a helmet and chest plate, both the color evergreen. The white blade was still being held in her right hoof, though not in a threatening pose. Her wings were held high and open. Her pure, green eyes stared at the other pony in the room with depressed guilt. "I knew it," muttered Twilight. "So, wait," called a voice from upstairs, "What should we call you now?" Twilight and the alicorn looked upstairs to see a certain baby dragon that looked rather sleepy as he stared back at them. "What do you mean, Spike?" asked a now confused Twilight Sparkle. "Well, whenever the Nightmare took over different ponies before," the dragon started, "she kept changing her name. I just want to get the name straight away so we don't have to keep calling her 'you'." For once, Spike had beaten Pinkie Pie to the random, logical strand of thought. The armored pony gave a quick chuckle before saying, "Shirayuki." "Anyway," said the annoyed unicorn, "I want answers." "Very well, Twilight Sparkle," said Shirayuki as she dug her blade into the floor and let go of it, "What would you like to know?" --- What was it with me and the gray abyss? It's like it wanted to marry me or something. (That's a creepy thought. I really hoped that it wasn't looking for marriage.) I picked myself up, though I couldn't see my appendages or limbs. Phantom limbs, now there was a meta thought that drove me bonkers in the past. The idea that the mind could feel an arm even if it wasn't there baffled me. But there was something different about this visit to my subconscious. The abyss altered its form to reveal a sort of black and white motion picture. It was weird. You had to be there to understand how empty space can suddenly look like a silent motion film. It sort of resembled an open field and it was... snowing? Small white flakes floated all around me. I thought about reaching out to one, but the snow crystal just went right through me. I was a ghost watching a wintry landscape. But what did it mean? Why was I being shown this? I heard giggling. As I turned to my right, I saw what I had only assumed was possible in fan comics before. Alicorn fillies were running around playing in the snow. From what I could see, there were three of them. I immediately recognized two of them as the pink and white Celestia and the blue moon Luna. The third, however, was unfamiliar to me. Her coat was as white as the snow around her and her mane was the color of clean lake water. Her green eyes seemed to look through me briefly before she rejoined her friends in slapping snow at each other. They were all laughing and having a grand old time. I couldn't help but smile at the sheer adorableness of the sight. If I had a phantom heart here, would having it explode cause any physical harm? Well wasn't that an out of place thought? I asked myself rhetorically. As I looked on, a silhouette of a man walked into the picture. I couldn't tell if he was saying anything, but the unnamed alicorn acted as if she had heard something. When she turned to look at the man, she shook in fear. The man reached out a hand and grabbed her forehead, around the horn. When he let go, all that remained was the essence of two clouds. A white cloud floated away to some unknown destination. The black cloud that remained behind looked as if it were boiling, though I couldn't make sense of the sight. --- "After that day," said Shirayuki, "All I could feel were clouds of hatred and rage. Merging with other lives was the only way I could feel like I had a heart." "You expect to believe that David was the only one to blame?" asked Twilight hinting skepticism in her tone. "No," sighed the taller alicorn, "Ever since I joined with Tundra, I've felt new emotions. Guilt, sorrow, and shame are gaining predominance. I feel like I need to make up for the things I've done, the sins I've committed." "You could start by letting Tundra go," remarked Spike. "I cannot do that," she replied, "Because she and I are one soul." "What?" asked the librarian and her number one assistant. --- The vision became distorted and started to fade. I felt a large pulling force, though I couldn't tell from which direction. The dream started to fade and I started to see splotches of color in a new scenery. The colors started to take shape and before I knew it, I was inside Ponyville library. But, something seemed a bit off. Although I was standing, I couldn't really feel the floor. I looked down to check my black hooves. To my surprise, they were translucent. I could practically see right through them. I would have been more excited about ghost abilities if the thought of being a ghost wasn't so terrifying. I looked to my left and saw three other beings in the room. Immediately, I recognized Twilight and Spike. They looked at the third being with open jawed shock. When I looked at the third being, I was slightly caught off guard but she also seemed... familiar somehow. She was wearing armor like Nightmare Moon but it was evergreen in color, so that couldn't be the familiarity. I noticed her white body and blue mane, but still, that could be any pony. That's when she looked at me with her soft, green eyes. No way, I thought. I had just seen those eyes. Those were the eyes of the alicorn filly in my vision. I couldn't believe this was her, yet here she was fully grown and rivaling Luna in height. It was then that I noticed the white sword driven into the floor next to her. Sode no Shirayuki? How is it here in the real world? I struggled to make sense of the circumstances but to no avail. "Whenever you need me, Tundra," said the white alicorn, "Just look within yourself." She then reached out and grabbed the white katana in her right hoof and held it horizontally in front of herself. "So-me-no-Mai, Tsukishiro!" she declared as her entire body was surrounded by a pillar of ice that reached to the ceiling. Twilight, Spike, and I just sat there in shock. Within a few seconds, the pillar started cracking and falling apart. My phantom body felt drawn in to the area that the alicorn was just in. It felt like gravity pulling sideways. In a flash, I went from translucent to opaque. I fell to the ground lying with my legs spread out. A few ice crystals lingered, scattered around me before fading from the physical realm. "Ow," I groaned as I slowly stood up. I shook my entire body out of the chills I just felt. "What just happened?" I asked the magic question of the day. "I... think we just finished talking with your other half," said Spike eventually. "Well," said Twilight struggling to find words, "That was... uh." "... awkward and disturbing," I finished. "Yes, that's an appropriate phrasing," agreed the unicorn, "Awkward and disturbing." "Maybe we should all head to bed," suggested the baby dragon. "Sounds good," I quipped. "Good idea," rushed Twilight, "Besides, I told Rainbow Dash to expect you to be up early tomorrow morning for some flying lessons." "Gee... thanks." Oh good, my sarcasm survived this series of unusual events. Tomorrow, I would tackle my acrophobia. Tonight, I needed some restful shuteye. --- If you want to see some action Gotta be the center of attraction. Make sure that they got their eyes on you Like the face that you see on every magazine. Chapter 8: Hadou no. 58, Orchid Sky --- "Come on, Tundra!" urged the 7-colored Pegasus in annoyance, "You're supposed to be learning flying, emphasis on flying." How did I get talked into this? I hated flying. Back when I was a human, I couldn't stand how the air pressure hurt my ears. Not to mention, I distinctly remembered the one time I couldn't hold down my breakfast, literally. Now, I didn't even have the luxury of a semi-comfortable seat during the flight. This was the tenth time I had fallen forward on my chin. I had the grass stains to prove it. I didn't know what I was doing wrong. I just flapped my wings the way I figured all Pegasi did and thought about moving in the direction I wanted to go. What part was I missing? "What part don't you get?" criticized Rainbow Dash. I guess she could read my mind in that one moment. Luckily, my legs didn't hurt as much as my head and it was fairly easy to pick myself back up into a standing position. The only thing permanently damaged was my pride. I believe I can fly, I thought, I believe I can touch the sky. I flapped my wings again. If at first you don't succeed try, try... ...and fall on your chin for the eleventh time that day. "Ugh..." groaned Dash. I didn't even need to open my eyes to know that she performed a double face hoof. After wiping away what I could from my newest grass stain, I stood up. "I don't know what I'm doing wrong," I said to my mentor, "I thought I could just fly by thinking about flying." "Ohhh," she realized, "I think I know what the problem is now. Flying isn't about thinking." "It's... about doing," I came to the same conclusion. Of course! It was basically a situation of tripping over my hooves again. Only this time, it was with different muscle groups. I couldn't activate flight by thinking about it. I had to just do it. I took a calm breath and closed my eyes. I cleared my mind of the more distracting thoughts. I let my open wings feel the wind as if they were following an ancestral instinct. Before I knew it, I could no longer feel the ground under my hooves. I opened my eyes to witness myself hovering a few feet above ground level. "You're off the ground," commended Rainbow, "but now let's see you fly." Now that the lift was in my second nature, I could focus my efforts on changing direction. Luckily, doing that did correspond to my thoughts. When I thought and leaned forward, I moved forward. I experimented with leaning right and left with similar results. I wasn't going to test my luck moving backwards, however, I accidentally discovered how to perform an aileron roll without crashing. I'm surprised I didn't lose my stomach after the stunt. "Still not up to my level," chuckled Rainbow Dash, "but that was a decent loop." I dared not respond out of concern that losing concentration on flight and direction, would result in a fast reunion with my good pal: the ground. "All right, now let's head back to the ground," said the cyan Pegasus. Why did she say that? At that moment, I remembered why I didn't like flying. I had flipping acrophobia! Panic attacked my brain and in turn its signals to the rest of my body, namely my wings. Said wings decided to shake uncontrollably, making my course of direction too unstable. So as I saw myself hurtling toward a building, I acted in the calmest manner I possibly could in that moment. I let loose a sheer scream of terror. --- ... How did I get roped into this? I thought, The last time Rainbow crashed through the Boutique's ceiling, Rarity practically let her off scotch free. Currently, Rarity was applying the base fabrics and pieces for her fifth dress modeled specifically for alicorns. I was the uncomfortable mannequin and in that moment, the gravity of my transgender transformation hit me. I'm a girl now. The only appropriate clothes to apply to a girl here is... *ugh*... pretty, pretty dresses. As a fan of the show "Friendship is Magic", I stopped worrying about losing manhood long ago. I still had interest in Mortal Kombat and other violent video games so I thought I was covered. When I had woken up a few days ago as a girl, I didn't think much about it. It was strange how cross dressing suddenly brought back my old fears of losing my place in the universe as a guy, of losing an important aspect about myself, and of losing... well, me. I wondered why I couldn't bring tears to my eyes to mourn the loss of my Y chromosomes. "~Just 17 more to go, and I can let you go~," sang Rarity. Her seemingly carefree mood just made this whole situation more undignified. I swear I could feel my masculinity melting. Funny, I could imagine taking on all three of the first two seasons' antagonists all at once with Shirayuki. In contrast, I could not possibly survive against the enemy in this room. If these dresses were any tighter, I would have gained a level in claustrophobia. I didn't even pay attention to specific colors anymore. I was going colorblind out of plain, mental stress. Irony was cruel to me today and started singing a penetrating melody that incapacitated my ability to think coherently. Thread by thread, stitching it together. Tundra's dress, cutting out the pattern snip by snip Making sure the fabric folds nicely It's the perfect color and so hip Always got to keep in mind my pacing Making sure the cloth's correctly facing I'm stitching Tundra's dress. Oh, goodie. My mind even adjusted the lyrics to match the current event. This was just fan-tipping-flastic. --- Yard by yard, always stressed And that's the art of the dress. Too... many... dresses, sputtered my thoughts, Manliness... fading. Can't... go on. Rarity had moved her last, completed ensemble to a separate rack. Still, my mind was spinning and threatening to cave in on itself. "You've been very cooperative, darling," said the fashionista unicorn, "For helping me out so much, I'd like to give you this as a token of appreciation." She floated over something that resembled a small money pouch. I barely registered when my telekinetic grab locked onto the pouch. I was also too far gone to notice the small layer of ice that I had somehow encased the bag in as I exited Carousel Boutique. "Thank you, Tundra!" called Rarity, "Come back again soon!" Ribbons... hats... lace... spool... Opal, my mind continued to fail at making coherent, full sentences. I walked without aim. I'm sure my eyes were just staring into space. Where... library... walk... go... sleep. Fatigue and stress were not positively compatible. I don't know how I managed to find the library door, nor do I fully grasp how walking up the stairs didn't trip me in my zombie-like state. "Welcome back, Tundra," said a voice. I don't remember if it was Spike or Twilight and I didn't care. As soon as I reached pink blankets, my magical grasp on whatever Rarity had given me instantly dropped to the side of the bed. I was completely out within a minute. Bed... Can't hear ya. I'm asleep... zzz. ---