To those who are reading this, ask yourselves this? What does a door mean to you?
That's right, a door. That little piece of steel that is keeping you trapped. It keeps you from seeing the sad smiles and frowns past it. You can no longer feel the hurt in their eyes everytime they look at you.
"I'm sorry."
Those words still race through my mind. They haven't left since a little pink mare whispered them to me. It has to be a month now that I have seen her.
I can no longer see anything outside, for the tiny window is still blocked. The sounds have been cut off, and I am left in complete darkness, nopony to talk to. Even that silly voice on my head hasn't been heard since the door shut.
It's funny really. Just a month ago I never wanted to see that door open ever again, knowing I would be beaten. Now I would give anything too see those lights hanging on the ceiling of the Wing. I can't seem to make up my mind. Silly me.
I am starting to see why it is nice to have some light. This darkness is destroying me. Nightmare Moon wanted to bring eternal night, but I would give anything for that to happened compared to this. A nice violet sky filled with twinkling stars. That's not too much to ask for is it?
I feel like I am not the only thing in this darkness. I swear to Celestia that there is something else in this room. I can feel it's presence, circling me as if ready to pounce. I try my best to ignore it, I have yet to see the monster.
Maybe it is Him. The Boss that Redheart talked to when I was a filly. I dread that phone call. And I dread whoever He is. It his fault that I am in this wretched place. He is the reason of the torture and the endless fear.
I wish I could just end. To just stop existing. I would escape this place and be free. Maybe I would see my parents, wherever I would go. This loneliness is eating me alive. Maybe it's best to end it.
No! Stay strong! You can survive!
Sorry, just one of the effects.
After the first few days after the filly killer incident, a few guards would still come in with a whip. I would grab the whip in my mouth and tie them up before they could even react. I would slam them into the walls, tears and a sick smile on my face as they screamed.
They eventually stopped coming, too afraid of little Mind Twist.
Now my meals magically appear on trays, and the vanish when I am done with them. It is still the same slop, but I manage.
I'm not even sure if I will ever escape. I stopped ever since I killed that stupid stallion. What's the point? I can't even manage to slip past two little doors. The first grey door that leads you here and the second black door that begins and ends so many things at the same time.
I guess this the end of my journal entry for now. I'm going to try to take a nap.
-Mind Twist