*Burrrp*
“Really now, darling?” Rarity said in disgust.
“What, can’t handle a little gas Rarity?” Rainbow Dash said.
Rainbow Dash, Twilight Sparkle, Rarity, Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and Trixie all walk into a bar were all relaxing in Twilight and Pinkie’s room, finishing up the breakfast they had ordered from room service.
“So, what’s the plan for today?” Trixie asked.
“Glad you asked!” Twilight said as she pulled out her plan, “You see, I’ve made a-”
“Oh, the Grand Canterlot Central Mall is unveiling the winter lines! We should make a stop there,” Rarity said.
“Uhh, okay, I guess we could,” Twilight scribbled in a little note on her planner, “But then we-”
“There’s a rodeo show, at the Pavillion,” Applejack said. “Ah’ve been meaning to check it out, but Ah’ve gotten the opportunity.”
“A rodeo?” Rarity said.
“Hey, yer dragging me along to that prissy mall, least yah could do is watch a show with me.”
Rarity sighed, “Fair enough.” Besides, there were bound to be a few trim stallions in tight pants running around, and Rarity never turned down eye candy.
“Well fine,” Twilight said, making another mark on her list, “But then I’ll need to-”
“That reminds me!” Rainbow Dash suddenly stood up. “The Wonderbolts are doing a special teaser for their winter solstice show! When’s the rodeo?”
“Right ‘round 2 p.m., ends round 5.”
“Perfect, the show is right after that! And I can pick up tickets for the real show while we’re there!”
“Huh.” Twilight was starting to get a little annoyed. “So, we can do that, and I guess-”
“OOH!” Pinkie said. “There’s this really big all-you can eat buffet, it’s like three floors of food, and it’s all supposed to be really, really good! We neeeeed to go there for lunch!!!”
“Uhh…” Fluttershy whispered, “There’s also supposed to be an exotic animal petting zoo inside the mall Rarity’s talking about. Can we please go there… Only if it’s okay with all of you, I wouldn’t want to impose.” She hid her face behind her mane.
“Of course we can go!” Rainbow Dash said.
Twilight took her paper and started ripping it, tearing it into smaller and smaller pieces until she finally just threw it all up in the air in exasperation.
Trixie noticed this. “Hey, are you okay?”
Twilight sighed. “It’s nothing. Come on, let’s go wake up Card.”
She walked out of her room and into Card’s right next door. She opened the door and- Huh. I didn’t know horses could squee.
Her friends all rushed over, thinking she was hurt. They all asked her what was wrong and she just pointed a hoof at Card. Well, not Card, rather his head. And not really his head, as much as the blueish-gray, pointy eared, sharp clawed puffball that was currently sleeping on top of it.
Immediately, the mares rushed over to Card’s bed.
“Hey there little guy,” Trixie said.
“You are just adorable!” Rarity said.
“Hi there, it’s nice to see you again,” Fluttershy whispered out. “I guess you probably don’t remember me.”
This was the scene that Card slowly woke up to, a heptet of mare gathered around his bed all cooing in his direction. “You know, I have nightmares that start exactly like this.” he mumbled out as he tried to rub the sleepiness out of his face.
“What is that adorable thing?!” Rarity demanded to know.
“What are you…” Card tried to run his hoof through his hair, but suddenly found his progress blocked, “Oh.” He picked up the fuzzball on his head and set him down onto the bed. He then stretched himself out, trying to wake himself up while he answered, “This is Ike, my- my- Uhh… My Ike.” he said with finality, “Somewhere in the last few months he decided my head made a good nest, I guess.” he yawned and began to straighten his jacket as Ike began to stir and awaken.
“Hey Ike.” Card said, “How you doing.”
Ike let out a adorable little yawn, followed by a cute grunt. This lead to all the mares around the bed going “Ahhhhhh…”, which lead to Rainbow Dash immediately praying that nopony heard her make such an embarrassing sound.
Card either didn’t notice them or didn’t care, as he kept on talking with Ike. “So, now that you’re here, you wanna hang around?”
“Mmm… Eh-eh.” Ike shook his head.
“Okay, take care.” Card and Ike shook paw-to-hoof and then Ike jumped up into the air and vanished in a flash of light.
While the mares all stood around confused for a moment, Card got out of bed and pushed his way past them. “I need to take a shower,” he mumbled out as he walked into the bathroom.
After a few seconds, the mares got out of their cute-induced stupor, and realized what just happened.
“Come on, let’s go,” Rarity said as she started to leave.
“What?” Applejack said.
“Well darling, he’s taking a shower,” Rarity explained. “Who knows how long he’s-”
“OK!” Card slammed open the door as he walked out of the bathroom. “Sorry I took so long, what did you all come here for?”
“You were sayin'?” Applejack looked at Rarity, who was flushed with mild embarrassment.
“Shut up.”
“Good morning!” Twilight said to Card, who repeated the phrase, “Now come on, we need to go to the mall.”
“Okay, I’ve got a few things I need to pick up there.” Card said, “Did you call up the chauffeur?”
“Eep!” Twilight jumped into the air and dashed back into her room, picking up the telephone and calling the limo company.
A few second later she ran back, saying, “They’ll be here in five minutes, let’s head down.”
The group all made their way down to the lobby.
-----Five Minutes Later-----
“Yeah, well Ah would like to see one o’ them Wonderbolts hold onto a raging bull by the horns fer longer ‘en a second.”
Before Rainbow Dash could make her rebuttal, her and Applejack’s conversation was interrupted by Twilight.
“There it is!” she said as she pointed out the window towards the limo that had just pulled up, “Quickly now, let’s- Oh no, where’s Card.”
“Hi,” Card said as he walked from the front desk to the seven sitting multi-colored mares.
Twilight grabbed him and began rushing out towards the limo, her bemused friends following. Eventually they all got in.
“Where to?” the driver asked.
“Grand Canterlot Central Mall.”
-----Later, at the Cornucopia Buffet Hall-----
The collective were all sitting at their table, enjoying the afterglow of a massive, delicious, lunch. Each pony had no less than three plates in front of them, and at least half a dozen cups.
After a few minutes of nothing but silence, aside from a few contented groans, Twilight said, “Okay, I think we’re done here.”
“Yeah. I don’t think I could eat another bite,” Rainbow Dash said, and the other mares all seemed to agree, as they starting getting up from their seats and leaving. All except for one.
“What’s wrong, Pinkie?” Fluttershy whispered, seeing the pink mare remain sitting down, her forehooves crossed over her stomach.
“I don’t feel so good…,” Pinkie said.
“Huh, no wonder,” Trixie said.
-----Flashback-----
“Can you believe it!” Pinkie said as she came back to the group, naturally having bolted off the second they were given a table. “Half of the entire top floor is a HUGE ice cream station!”
“Uh, are y’all sure yah wanna eat so much?” Applejack said, gesturing to the mountain of food Pinkie had piled onto the plate on her back. A mountain that not only cleared the top of her hair, but kept going for a good six inches. “Yer gonna regret it.”
By the time Applejack had finished her sentence, Pinkie Pie was already half-way through her plate. The mares all gave a collective sigh and shake of their heads, then went off to start getting their own food.
-----Flashback End-----
“So, are you regretting it?” Rainbow Dash asked.
Pinkie Pie shook her head, “NoooOO.” she doubled over and clutched her stomach harder.
“Are you going to be okay?” Rarity asked.
Pinkie nodded her head, “This happens sometimes. I just need to go lay down for a few hours.”
“You can come with me,” Card said, the first words he had spoken in the last half-hour. When they got to the buffet, he had quickly split off, gotten several plates worth of food, and came back to the table, where he had quietly sat reading one of the books he had bought at the mall, the only one that he hadn’t chucked inside of his jacket. The book he was still, in fact, reading.
“What?” Trixie asked.
“I’m heading back to the hotel room.”
“Why?”
“I’ve got nothing else to do here for a while.” Card dog-eared his book and stood up, gesturing to Pinkie Pie. “Wanna come?”
Pinkie gave a weak nod and got up to follow him. Card and the mares all left the restaurant. He flagged down a taxi while the mares waited for their limo to come pick them up. Just before he got into it, he stopped.
“Wait, when are you all going to be back at the hotel?” he asked.
“Uhh…” Twilight thought for a moment before shaking her head, “I don’t know.”
“Around 5:45,” Rainbow Dash answered. “The teaser ends at 5:30. Why?”
“Perfect,” Card said with a grin.
“Card,” Trixie said, “What do you have planned?”
“Now that would be telling.” Card got into the taxi and told him where to go while Pinkie slumped against his shoulder. The taxi sped off just as the limo came to take the mares to the Pavillion.
-----We Were Going To Talk About The Shows, But Nothing Interesting Happened There So Instead, It’s Back To The Hotel With Card and Pinkie-----
Pinkie limped her way to her room, Card following close behind.
“Oh no,” Pinkie said. “Twilight has the room key.” She turned to Card, “Can I please stay in your room? Just for a while? Pretty please with frosting and nuts and cherries?”
“I’m going to be reading my book, so no talking.” Card opened up the door and went over to his bed. Pinkie made a motion of locking up her lips and followed, laying down on Rarity’s bed.
After a few minutes of silence, Pinkie started to moan and roll around.
“What’s wrong?” Card asked.
“It really hurts,” Pinkie said. “My tummy feels like a cream puff that’s already full but somepony is trying to put more in.”
“How do you normally deal with it?”
“Usually I lay behind the counter at SugarCube Corner. Hearing all those ponies talk helps distract me.”
Card was silent for a second, then he said, “I think I’ll finish this book later.” he placed it down on the bedside table, grabbing the remote that was on it. “You want to watch a movie with me?”
“That sounds like fun. What movie?”
“I don’t know yet.”
“Okie-dokie-lokie.” Pinkie slid off of the bed and clambered onto Card’s, a small, almost inaudible, moan accompanying every step she took. She settled in, leaning against his chest as he turned on the television and chose a movie at random.
-----A Few Hours Later-----
“No, I am your fath-”*pause*
“AWWW!” Pinkie said, looking up at Card. “Why did you pause it, we nearly got to the part where his face goes all funny!”
Card gently moved the pink mare off of his chest so he could get out of bed. “They’re back.”
Pinkie quickly leapt up and out of the bed, nearly landing on Card, and raced into the hall to greet her friends.
“HIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHI!!!” she rattled off, grabbing all six of the mares in a big hug.
The mares all responded with their own, far less hyper, greetings and detached themselves from the hug. Card then entered the hallway as well.
“Hi Card,” Twilight said.
“How was caring for the living vacuum?” Trixie asked.
Card ignored both of them, instead addressing the group as a whole, “In five minutes, I’m going to the Sinful Virtue. Who wants to come?”
“WHAAT!!!” yelled Rarity and Rainbow Dash, Rainbow Dash actually taking off in surprise.
All the other mares were taken aback by their friends reactions.
“What’s the big deal?” Applejack asked.
“How have you never heard of it?!” Rarity said. “The Sinful Virtue is the top club in all of Canterlot! Everypony who’s anypony goes there!”
“It has a separate room for every genre of music, each with it’s own bar, and that’s not all! It has game rooms, fight rooms, who knows what else!” Rainbow Dash said. “It’s the coolest place in all of Equestria!”
“So are you two coming?” Card asked.
“Oh darling, don’t be foolish,” Rarity said. “By now the line must go around the block. There’s no chance you’ll be able to get in.”
“I am so in!” Rainbow Dash said.
“Okay, anyone else?” Card asked.
“Ah think Ah’ll sit this one out,” Applejack said. “Ah never cared much for the nightlife.”
“I’d rather stay here,” Fluttershy whispered. “Sorry.”
“I want-” Pinkie shouted before collapsing to the ground, moaning. “Actually, maybe I should stay here. Hey, this way I can finish the movie!” Pinkie went back into Card and Rarity’s room.
“Are you sure you can get us in?” Trixie asked.
“Yeah,” Card said.
“Then I’m in.”
Card nodded, before turning his attention to the one mare who had yet to speak. “What about you Twilight?”
“I would love to, but I was planning to go visit somepony,” Twilight said. “Sorry, it’s just that I haven’t seen them in so long, and-”
“Don’t worry,” Card said. “Okay, if you’re coming, then let’s go!” he started towards the elevator.
Applejack and Fluttershy went back to their room. Rarity hesitated for a moment, seeing the confidence in her friends eyes. Suddenly she cried, “Wait for me!” and rushed to the elevator before the doors could close. Twilight rolled her eyes, and went into her room to grab a few things before she went to visit her brother.
-----At Sinful Virtue-----
Card, Rarity, Trixie, and Rainbow Dash exited the limo. The line in front of the club was so long, that it had wrapped all the way around the massive block the club took up, making the back of the line just past the first pony in line.
The mare’s looked nervous, but Card just walked up to one of the bouncers, a hulking dark yellow stallion in a three piece suit. The bouncer’s eyes narrowed, his face contorted into a grimace, and he looked like he was about to shout, then Card took a small card out of his pocket and showed it to the bouncer. Immediately, his expression changed to one of respect. He bowed to Card and was about to wave him through, when Card walked back to where the mares were standing, their jaws dropped in awe, and told them, “Come on, let’s go in.”
They walked in through the double doors and found themselves in a semicircle of a room. A small door opened up, and a middle-aged unicorn walked out.
“You are Card, correct?” he asked Card.
“Yes. These are my friends.” Card gestured to the mares.
“Ah, excellent. If you three could please hold out your left front hooves?”
The mares did so. The unicorn levitated three black bracelets out of his saddlebag, clipping them onto their forelegs.
“Those bracelets identify you as friends of the house, allowing you complete freedom in where you may go, along with making sure that the staff knows that you are not to be charged,” he explained, levitating 3 small folded paper rectangles out of his bag. “Here are your maps, there is also a large version in each room. Please, enjoy yourselves.” he bowed and exited the way he came in.
Rainbow Dash quickly scanned her map, picking a place to go. She flew into one of the other rooms, tossing back a “See ya!” as an afterthought. Rarity was a bit more subdued, carefully looking over her options before choosing where she wanted to go.
“Card, you’ve been here before,” Trixie said, her face buried in the map. “Where do you recommend? Card?” Trixie looked around, but the stallion was no where to be found. “Huh.” Trixie turned her attention back to her map, thinking, Oh hey, MC Escher is playing in Electronica. Sweet. Trixie folded her map up and headed off towards the electronica room, one last thought passing through her mind before she entered. I wonder where Card went?
-----Where Card Is-----
*clap clap*
“Come in.”
“Hey Shade,” Card said as he entered the office.
“Card,” Shade said as he got up from behind his desk to shake Card’s hoof. “How’s it going?”
“It goes.”
Suddenly, the tiny beige dragon that was perched on Shade’s chair flew over to the pair and circled around them before flying in Card’s face. When he didn’t react, it looked at Card with disdain. Shade smirked a little.
“Nice to see you too, Morrogar,” Card said to the dragon. “How’re Silver and Guile?”
“Guile’s doing good; his grades could be a bit better and Silver’s really riding him about it,” Shade said as Morrogar landed on his back and glared at Card. “Speaking of, Silver’s getting a bit worried.”
Card raised an eyebrow.
“It seems like some of the provinces have problems with the treaty, and Silver’s going to have to go between them a lot pretty soon. He doesn’t want to drag Guile along with him, because he’ll be moving around really often. He’s been worrying about what to do with him.” Shade paused for a moment, then rolled his eyes. “Anyways, what brings you here?”
“I was in the city, decided to come get your report in person.”
“Still hate going through paperwork huh?” Shade walked over to his minibar. “Drink?”
“You know what I like,” Card said.
Shade let out a sigh as he poured out a glass of gin and a glass of peach brandy. “I would think that you of all people would be a bit more interesting with your drinks,” he said as he hoofed the brandy over to Card.
Card took a sip from it and looked at Shade expectantly over the glass.
“Well, it’s all been fairly quiet,” Shade said, starting his report. “No one’s really been making much of a fuss. There were still the one or two idiots who tried going to the crown, or thought they could blow off paying their debts, but nothing out of the ordinary. Sticks is dead.” Shade took a moment to down his drink and look coy, “It seems that somepony somehow managed to get past his bodyguards and stuck a dagger straight through his eye when he was going to visit his mistress. Blade and Glowbug split his territory.”
“His right eye, I bet,” Card said. “Look, cut to the chase.”
“Fine, fine. Did you hear about the incident over in Kohto?”
Card blinked.
“Right. Well, somehow it got out that the soldiers who did it were on a mix of sake and keshwa seed. So, some bleeding hearts took action and convinced the Emperor to start cracking down on keshwa farms. The whole thing’ll probably blow over in a year or so, but until then nobody’ll be growing keshwa anywhere in Oka.”
“So, what do you plan on doing about it?” Card asked.
“I think I’ll suggest that some of our big suppliers start exporting over to Oka, maybe a couple from Griffonia too. I’ll have to make sure that they don’t get too greedy. Probably set up links between them and the old dealers, keep the competition going.”
“You think you can pull that off?” Card asked.
Shade just gave him a look that said, “Look who you’re talking too.”
Card extended his hoof. “Bye Shade.”
Morrogar hissed at Card. Shade glared, then shook it off. “Bye,” he said as he shook Card’s hoof. He opened up the door for him, calling at him as he left, “You stay away from the tables.”
“Don’t worry,” Card said over his shoulder. “I have no intention of bankrupting you tonight.”
Shade chuckled, closing his door and returning to his desk to get back to business.
-----In The Electronica Room-----
Trixie sat at the bar, sipping at a whiz-bang, casting her eyes along the room when suddenly she was disturbed by somepony taking a seat next to her.
“I’m surprised you’re not out there,” Card said. “I thought you’d jump at the chance for some flirting. One silver bullet, please,” he asked the bartender.
Trixie sighed. “I’m out of practice. I can’t even tell which of them are worth going after anymore.” She swiveled around to face the bar.
Card’s silver bullet arrived in it’s silver shotglass. He lifted the shotglass up and looked at it for a couple of minutes.
“Way I see it, you have three options,” Card said, facing Trixie.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, there’s the green earth pony over by the wall, the one with tangerine hair. She’s a little fidgety, and was glancing over and quickly looking away quite a bit when you were just sitting here alone. Then, when I came and sat next to you, she seemed a little disappointed. Still peeking over here though.” Trixie was experienced enough in these matters to not look, and took Card’s word for it, as he kept talking,
“Also, there’s the magenta unicorn who’s drinking a bit down the bar behind you, she’s looked your way a few times, but always focusing on that,” Card gestured to the black bracelet Trixie was given, “Meaning she knows what it means, and might just be interested because of it. Don’t know if you’d wanna go for that type.
“Finally, there’s the teal pegasus, over at the second table from the dancefloor. She’s been talking with her friends and checking out every mare in the room, but she lingered on you a little while. She’s pretty obviously here to have fun, she drank enough for a buzz and then stopped so she wants to remember her night, and seems to be trying to figure out what bit of fun to take home for the night.”
“How did you figure all that out?” Trixie asked.
“It’s not that hard if you know what to look for,” Card replied. “I think you should go with the teal.”
Trixie thought for a second, then shook her head. “Nah, I’d try to take one of them back to the hotel, and I’m not the only one using my room, remember?”
“Oh, that reminds me.” Card reached into his front pocket and pulled out a room passcard for the Crown Solar Hotel. He hoofed it to Trixie. “Room 114.”
“...What?” Trixie couldn’t believe what she was seeing.
“Take it. Enjoy.”
“Card, I- I can’t accept this. Those rooms cost thousands of bits per night.”
“I know, and if you don’t accept it, I will have just wasted 6000 bits.” Card could see that Trixie was still shocked. “Look, if it makes you feel any better just think of it as an early new year’s bonus.” Card got up to leave. He placed the card down on the bar in front of Trixie and said, “I’ve got business elsewhere. See you tomorrow. Good luck.”
When Trixie picked up the card and put it inside her saddlebag, Card left the room. At the same time as he left the club, Trixie got up and asked the green earth pony if she wanted to dance.
-----What has Twilight been doing? Let’s check where she went-----
Okay Twilight. You can do this. So what if you haven’t seen them since they first moved in together, they can’t be that bitter. It’s Shining and Cadence, nopony cares more about you than them, Twilight thought. These thoughts had been running through her head ever since she had first decided to come visit her brother and babysitter, and had only gotten louder the closer that she got to their house. She took a deep breath and rang the doorbell. Oh no! What do I say to them! Stupid, stupid, why didn't I think of this before! Calm down it’s-
The door opened in front of her, revealing a moderately tall, toned, white unicorn stallion with two-tone blue hair. Silence went between them, as Twilight did her best impression of a deer in headlights.
“Twily!” Shining Armor said as he embraced his little sister, “It’s so nice to see you again!” After the shock wore off, Twilight returned the hug.
“Hi Shining.”
When the two split up, Shining Armor waved her into his house, “Come in, come in. Cadence! Come here, you won’t believe who just turned up!”
“I’m coming, I’m coming.” A pink ailcorn entered the living room, a look of absolute shock covering her face as she saw who the mystery guest was. “Twilight!”
The two mares ran across the room to each other, doing a silly little dance while Shining Armor tried hard not to laugh. Once their dance was concluded, they hugged, Cadence’s wings wrapped tight around the filly she watched grow up.
“How have you been? Oh, your timing could not have been more perfect, I just put some tea on! Come on, we can talk in the kitchen.” Cadence led her coltfriend and Twilight into the kitchen. Once they were all settled, Twilight started speaking.
“I’m really sorry I couldn’t come visit you two sooner.”
“Oh don’t worry about it Twily,” Shining Armor said. “I’m sure that studying with the Princess was taking up a lot of your time.”
“Yes, we understand,” Cadence said as she placed a teacup in front of all assembled. “The important thing is that you’re here now. So tell us, how’s it been? I’m sure that you’ve collected some stories in the last three years.”
“Well, I could tell you a few.” Twilight launched into recounting some of the funnier events that happened while she lived in the castle and studied under Celestia.
-----Many Stories of Spike Getting Hurt Later-----
-----(Seriously, is he sure he wants to chase after someone whose job requires constant proximity to tiny pointy things?)-----
The three ponies were all laughing, Shining having on several occasions nearly launched tea out of his nose. Twilight straightened up.
“Oh, but I still haven’t told you about the most important thing!” she said. “This year, right around the end of summer, Princess Celestia sent me off to a little town called-”
*Ding-Dong*
“Now who could that be?” Cadence asked.
“Whoever it is, they’ll have to come back later,” Shining Armor said as he got up to go answer the door.
“No, I’ll take this one,” Cadence said, nudging her coltfriend back into his seat. She walked out of the kitchen and into the living room, where the front door was located.
Twilight was grateful for the interruption, as it gave her a bit of time to collect her thoughts and start planning out exactly how she was going to talk about everything that happened to her in Ponyville, when suddenly all her thoughts were knocked out of her head by something entirely unexpected.
From the front door of the house, came a yelp, surprised, overjoyed, higher-pitched than normal, but unmistakably from Cadence. A yelp of
“Wild!”