//------------------------------// // The Wheels on the Train Go Crash, Ow, Pain. // Story: Monstrum Tome of Equus // by Campanula Monkshood //------------------------------// “Fuck, my head, make the hurty go away,” I mumbled to myself as I cluched my head after I had come to. “Well of course it hurts; you were punched in the face by my daughter, never known a pony with such a short fuse like her, she must get it from her mother’s side. At least something good came from this; while you were knocked out we removed your shackles so there’s that.” “Oh yeah, hip-fucking-hooray, there’s nothing quite like getting smacked in the gob to lighten your day. How long was I knocked out for?” “A couple of hours at most and we got the interrogation officer from a neighboring town, also, I got you something to eat before we start asking you some questions to discern whether or not you are dangerous to our citizens,” he told me as levitated some food into my cell. “Oh please, take one look at my face and tell me I’m dangerous,” I said as I gave my most charming smile. “You’re dangerous.” “Ouch and here I thought I was hiding it so well, I guess I did tell you to say I was dangerous.” “Yes you did.” “So then might as well show me where the interrogation room is and get this over with.” As I stood up, he unlocked the door, walked into the cell and put the shackles back on my wrists. We left the cell area with honcho guard up front, me in the middle, and a Pegasus guard, whom I from the gates as Ice Flow, followed behind me. After a hop, skip, and a jump we came up to an exquisitely decorated door, I’m lying of course everything in here is a different fucking shade of gray, and the Pegasus stood to the side of the door while honcho ushered me inside with his hoof. “Go on in and take a seat, the interrogator from Canterlot will be in here in a bit. Ice Flow go get Myst Veil and tell her she’s to help you guard the prisoner, not knock him out, I’ll guard him until you get back.” “Yes sir,” Ice Flow saluted as he walked down the hall where we came from. “So, I've told you my name but you haven’t told me yours. I can’t keep calling you honcho in my head.” “My name’s Dawn Veil, captain of the Baltimare Equestrian Guard. I have got to say Mister Shin, for a monster set on harming my citizens, you’re pretty docile.” ` “Well of course I’m docile, I’m not a monster. I’m just a traveler from overseas.” “So you’re a foreigner from overseas huh?” “Yeah, I’m over here on, uh, orders yeah orders-,” I started to say as the door burst over and a white unicorn with two toned blue hair came into the room. “Hold it! Everypony please stop talking, please wait until the recording spell is prepared and cast,” a white unicorn wearing ornate armor cried out as he ran into the room, horn glowing fiercely causing the air in the room to shimmer and shake. “Right, well that’s odd… anyway how much longer until I can get my backpack and be out of here?” “One moment, Hello Captain Armor we’re glad you could come down from Canterlot with our issue here.” “Yes, I was quite surprised when we received word that you had captured some kind of creature. I take it this is it?” “Yes sir, I’ll let you get started then.” “Hey! This ‘it’ has a name-“ “Right and what would that happen to be?” “My name is Shin. What’s yours?” “Right, I am Shining Armor, Captain of the Canterlot Royal Guard. Mind telling me why I was summoned here?” “I was on my way from this tavern up north, heading here on a tip that something I’ve been looking for had made its way here." "Something made its way down here? May I ask what reason you're here looking for?” "Sorry but I can't answer that." "Why would that be Mr. Shin?" 'Okay Shin, can't tell him why I was looking, can't lie to him... Hmm maybe not a total lie…' "Because I can't, listen I’m sure someone of your position knows what it’s like to keep certain things secret and safe. Can you just give me my stuff back? I kinda has everything I own in it.” "Wow really? I suppose I can do that; just need you to answer my questions first. Can you tell me your full name please?" I sigh as I responded to his insistence, "My full name is Shinza Monk." "How old are you?" "As of last month I turned twenty-four." "Alright very good, what is your country of origin?" "Oh boy, yeah that's something else I can't tell you, at the moment all I can say is overseas." "Fair enough, your occupation?" "I am currently a scholar." "Are you traveling alone?" "As alone as you can be with oneself." "Very well, how long have you been in Equestria?" "I haven't been here all that long, couple of days I guess." "Okay that’s about it, are you in Equestria legally?" ‘Shit.’ "Yes." “Very well I’m going to need to see your papers, they would be in your ‘stuff’ correct?” A sharp pop and my huge pack appeared on the table, “Please provide them.” "Of course, now let me see what we got in here," I said as I ruffled through the pack and began pulling random stuff that couldn’t have possibly fit in the bag and soon the table was filled with a bunch of junk but no contract or letter that was in there at the tavern, "Hey you guys didn't take anything out of this or off my person while I was out? I’m missing some stuff." The Pegasus known as Ice flow snorted, “How could you even tell with so much junk?” "No we have not. Why, is there a problem Mr. Monk?" 'I don't get it if they didn't take anything out of the bag or off of me, then where's the contract with Tanya?! Freaking out freaking out freaking out, okay calm down. Let’s just see if there's anything in here proving that I'm not here illegally. Let’s see; sleeping bag, tent, couple of gems with etches on them as well as a tag -Water Purification Spell-, 'holy balls these things are huge', rope, more writing stuff, and what appear to be those MRE things ,’god these things are different level nasty. Wait what's this? Some sort of scroll,’ I untied the fire-red ribbon and looked it over, ‘well better than nothing.' "How about this Captain, will this work," I said as I handed him the scroll. "Hmm let’s see, Dear Whomever it may concern, by decree of Her Majesty, the Queen Tanya La Va-Basalt of the Island Nation of Obsidinite and Celestia Ruler of Equestria. The scribe known as Shinza Monk is to have free roam of your nation on a quest of cataloging the world." "Cataloging, you said you were looking for something. Well anyway this looks pretty official, scribe of royalty huh? I better check in with the Princess to make sure this checks out." 'Princess who-now?' Shining armor stood facing one of the walls and his horn started to glow and a circle on the wall started to glow and changed colors until it looked like a mirror. Once it stopped changing colors he stood there with his horn still glowing and said, "Blessed morning your Majesty, Shining Armor reporting in." In the glowing mirror stood one of the tallest ponies I have ever met, she must be as tall if not taller than me. She sat on a golden throne, her fur was pure white with a golden sun on her rear, wait is it rear or since she's a horse, a flank, and upon her head sat a golden crown. I have got to say though, the waving multicolored hair thing works for her, “Wow… you’re pretty,” I dumbly said, getting a glare from the captain and a tinking laugh from the Princess. "Hello Shining Armor, how are things in Baltimare." she asked in a kind motherly voice. "Very good ma'am, it’s not a monster. He’s a scribe here for cataloging Equestria, he has something I need you to verify before I can finish up here and be on my way back to Canterlot." "Of course my little pony, what is it that you wish to verify?" "I have a letter here stating that you made an agreement with an island nation called Obsidinite, ruled by Queen Tanya La Va-Basalt, giving one of her scribes’ free roam of our country. This is Shinza Monk, the scribe, currently being held here under suspicion that he intended harm on Baltimare’s citizens carrying this scroll." "I am not positive I know which agreement this note is referring to. I’ll need to write a letter to the ponies on the council that handles these types of things," as she said that she was writing on a scroll and I watched as it disappeared in a flash and another scroll appeared in a burst of smoke. "Holy smokes, you ponies sure are quick to answer and how cool was that smoke?!" "Actually that wasn't the ponies from the council, that was my student, Twilight Sparkle, please hold on as I read this. ‘My dearest teacher, my continuing studies of pony magic have lead me to discover, that something really bad is about to happen. For you see; the mythical mare in the moon is in fact, Nightmare Moon, and she’s about to return to Equestria and bring with her eternal night, something must be done to make sure this terrible prophecy does not come true. I await your response, your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle,' as she finished reading the letter she put a hoof to her temple. "Wow, that sounds bad, hey Shining Armor, that's bad right?" *sigh* "More than likely not. My sister, though great she may be, can be kind of overzealous. She probably just hasn't gotten any sleep again." "Ha, man I remember those days... hell I’m still in those days. I take it she does this quite a bit?" "Don't even get me started. Like this time she switched the genders-" "Enough, I sorry Twilight but this needs to be done," she said quietly as she sent off the letter she was writing as me and Shining were talking and another flash of light appear along with a scroll, "Ah finally, this is what we're waiting for. Hmm, yes it appears that we have made a treaty of sorts with Obsidinite, he is free to go. Please feel free to come by Canterlot when you're in the area or visit a town called Ponyville and visit my faithful student, Twilight," she chuckled as Shining Armor got this look on his face. "Why are you sending her to Ponyville your Majesty,” Captain Armor asked her. "I’ve sent Twilight to Ponyville to make some friends while she oversees the upcoming Summer Sun Celebration. Hopefully she’ll see that not everything can be learned from a book.” "I don't see why not, that's how I learned most of my knowledge," my sentence wavered off under the look of the princess, "I mean uh… totally common sense beats opitence or something like that." "Right, thank you your highness, sorry for bothering you with the small detail." "It is no problem Captain, I am glad to have met a traveler of my lands before anything unfortunate happened to him,” she said with a smile on her face as the mirror faded. "What did she mean by that? What did she mean by that?!" "Nothing, I mean, I'm sure it was nothing. We’ll let you go since the Princess has cleared you and get you out of these pony’s manes.” ` “Yeah that’ll be good, got a lead on something so I’m going to go check it out. Are you sure this is everything you took off me?” As I stood up and headed towards the door, it started to glow a pale blue color, and Myst Veils came bursting in and ran into me. Stating that I wasn’t allowed to leave due to the threat of the citizens and harassment of an officer, namely her, which Shining Armor dismissed saying that the Princess had cleared my charges and that I was free to go. “But…I… He…” “Yes, have a nice day Myst. Try not to punch out anyone else, it’s not polite. Hey Shining, mind if I hitch a ride with you to Canterlot? I’d love to pick apart your Princess’ library.” “It’s Captain Armor and that’s not happening. Use the trains like everypony else.” “Spoilsport… Can you at least tell me where to find the train station,” I asked him and he gave me a ‘are you kidding me’ look. “I live in Canterlot, I’m afraid you’ll need to find the station on your own but hurry; the train leaves in an hour.” He added in his normal ‘bro’ tone, his horn glowed as the air shimmered as it was pulled into itself and took the shape of a pyramid. “What the flippin’ heck was that?!” “Uh… catalyzing the recording spell for our archives? Is that a problem?” “No that was just friggin’ cool! It was all like; ripple-shimmer-zwip! Tell me; are all of your spells as dramatic as that one,” I asked him as I picked up the pyramid and examined each side, that showed different scenes of our conversation. “Not usually, most unicorn spells are recited in their heads from years of memorizing and the only tell is the glow of their horns. Sometimes they will need material components but that rarely happens, those spells fell out style some time ago.” “Wow that’s cool… I bet having magic is the best.” “Your people don’t have magic?” “Nah, I mean sorta; my uh- Queen did mention that something would come about but I’ve yet to see anything magical. Oh well, magic would only distract me anyways,” I sat my pack open and started tossing things into it that somehow packed neatly. “Well I’m off… maybe we’ll see each other in Canterlot.” After saying my goodbye I pulled Ice Flow away, “’Cuse me, Ice Flow right?” “Yes-“ “Oh good, listen I know you have things to guard but I was wondering if-“ “Sure I’ll show you the train station.” “Aha! I knew you were going to say that, I mean what if I really was a monster, you wouldn’t just- Did you say you would show me the station? Well… good, lead the way,” I said with a wave of my arm and he took the lead after yelling to Dawn Myst he’d be right back. Flow had to stop a couple times due to the fact that these ponies a friggin’ fast. We didn’t talk any and the silence was getting to me. ‘I hate uncomfortable silences; come on poke him, say something, insult him for christ sake! Do something!’ “So Flow, what’s with the butt tattoos?” “You mean my talent emblem? It represents my special talent for controlling snow and snow clouds.” “Then why are you in the Equestrian Guard if that’s what you’re good at,” I asked, honestly curious about why they would have something that tells them what they’re good at but do something that has nothing to do with it. “Well… the Equestria Guard give you plenty of chances for excitement and adventure and you meet so many wonderful ponies,” we had stopped outside a building and he was nudging a pebble with a hoof. “Ahah so that’s it, who is she?” “I-I-I-I don’t know what you’re talking about!” “It’s totally Myst Veil isn’t it,” he looked down in a blush and I gasped, “It totally is! Hahaha, well good luck with that one.” “Yeah…” he held out a hoof and looked me in the eye. “Safe travels,” I took his hoof and shook it but after the shake my hand had grown, covered in a shiny black shell and Flow gasped, “I knew it! The Queen, being a traveller, odd body… You’re one of us aren’t you!? I don’t recognize your Hive pheromones. You must be high up there, it’s definitely unique.” I released his hoof looking at my hand in wonder while he galloped around the station, motioning me to follow him so I did; I turned a corner where there was a flash of green. ‘What the fuck,’ I thought to myself as I looked at can only be described as a bug pony saluting me. “Changeling #1037103-31A, aka Ice Flow,” he said in a buzz before being wreathed in green fire and the familiar pony stood before me, “Now I’m extra glad they let you go, can’t have a fellow changeling in jail can we?” “No… can’t have that.” “What’s your call number? I’ll add it to the hive mind to keep an eye out for you.” “T-there’s no need for that… I just go by Shinza,” I stopped talking when there was a loud whistling. “Sweet Chrysalis the train’s early today, go, go! You need to buy your ticket!” I ran back around the building and up the stairs to the ticket booth. “Hi, sorry for the rush but I need a ticket- what are you doing?” The pony in question was trying to cower under the window and failing, “Don’t eat me! I don’t taste that good, I’m nothing but skin and bones!” “I don’t want to eat you, I just need,” he cut me off with a scream. “Hey! Quit cowering like a foal and sell the gentlestallion a ticket,” I heard Ice Flow shout from behind me at the ticket pony. “Ice Flow? Oh thank goodness, take care of this monster!” “We don’t have time for this, give me three bits Shinza,” he held out a hoof and I gave him the money, he bucked open the door, went inside, and took a ticket from the roll and tossed the bits on the table. “I swear, this is why I have to waste energy on this disguise,” he muttered to me as he passed me the ticket. “It’s usually only like this in small towns, so close-minded. Enjoy Canterlot, oh sir, your disguise is still partly down.” Saluting once more he took to the skies and I took a seat on the cartoony train trying to hide my bug claw-hand in my pocket. “Aaaaaaall aboooooooard,” a pony in a conductors hat shouted before jumping on himself, “Tickets please.” He went up the aisle punching holes in the tickets. ‘How is he holding that?’ He got to me and paused with a frown but before he could say anything I lifted the ticket and the frown disappeared in a flash, “Enjoy the ride everypony!” As soon as he said that the train began to pull forward, I began hearing whispers from a couple of ponies near the back that turned into a gasp. “Wow, what are you?!” “Thistle, come back here!” “Thistle was it,” I laughed a little, “Well I’m a traveller, chronicler of stories, mostly stories of mythical creatures!” She put on such a sweet smile I barely resisted snatching her up in a hug, “What kind of mythical creatures?!” “Would you like to hear some of my stories,” I asked knowing no kid could say no to a story. “Yes!” I thought for a good creature that would terrify her, “Well here’s a good one; back where I come from we have ships of many sizes and every once in a while a ship will wreck and the fisherman who came back would tell stories of being rescued by these beautiful horses with iridescent fish tails but no matter how many times people set out they couldn't find sign of them." "You're talking about Seaponies!" "Huh?" "What you're talking about sounds like Seaponies, I read about them in a book once!" "Oh well my people call them Hippocampi and they say if you have friendship and love in your heart they'll be your friend," as I said this her already large eyes looked ready to explode. 'I mean it's not a total lie, I've yet to meet one so they may actually be your friend for that reason.' I continued telling them stories of my world's legends from dragons kidnapping princesses and the knights coming to rescue them to mystical beings and the heroes they sired. My audience went from young Thistle to two more fillies and a couple of adults that got over their fear of me when they saw how I was with the foals. For some reason I had decided to act out the stories of the heros, not even noticing that my hand was back to normal. "And then what happened," a young red filly asked. "And then Zeus cast down his lightning bolt at the sea-serpent with a BOOM," as I said that there was an actual boom, squealing, then the train car went vertical, throwing everyone into the ceiling. I groaned as several ponies landed on top of me I called out as more thuds and the sounds of ripping metal filled the air, "Is everyone alright?!" "My leg," I heard a scream from one of the other cars but other than that I got a few grumbles and moans. The turned into screams when the side of the car was ripped away and a thick furry shadow filled the hole that bark out to someone, "Got nine ponies. Two horny pony, four feather pony, three mud pony!" "Take them all!" The shadow stepped through the hole and I got a good look at it; looked like a mix between a gorilla and a large dog. He, from the sound of his voice, walked over and began picking ponies up off me and tossing them outside, "Wait, got strange thing!" A set of footsteps sounded as they jumped from car to car, it looked in at me, "Not pony... still, need diggers. Bring it." 'Diggers?' The dog reached into the pile, pulled me out, and tossed me outside with the others, "Holy shit..." The view was amazing with mountains on either side of the tracks. I gasped when I saw the state of the train; several cars on fire, the engine was in a hole under the track, our car was upside down on another car. I tried standing but one of the mutts jabbed a spear at me. Ponies of all ages lined the tracks much like us maybe three to five ponies per pile. Two pegasi tried flying away from one of the groups, were speared by the guard dogs, and several ponies began crying. "What are these things," I asked one of the conscious ponies in my pile. "Diamond Dogs, they take ponies prisoner to mine gems-" "Shut up pony and not-pony," the dog that jabbed me with the spear shouted and soon all the other dogs were on us. They picked up the unconscious ones in the group and made the rest of us walk to the mountain on the left of the track. Once everyone was through they collapsed the entrance, leaving us in pitch black, "Horny ponies! Light!" Several Unicorn's horns glowed, lighting the tunnel leading to our doom. "Now go!" 'Seriously, are they calling them that on purpose? I don't need that image in my head.' I have no idea how long I've was down there, the Diamond Dogs kept everyone in these cages, no food or water until they agreed to mine for them. I many of my awake time just staring at my hand as I tried to turn it back to what it was when I shook Ice Flow's hoof. Something like that could help me, 'What'd he call himself? A changeling? Those claws looked sharp, maybe they could cut these bars and chains...' The only ones in the cell with me were the children I had been telling stories to keep keep their spirits up, their parents had agreed early on to work so long as their foals got part of their food. "I wish these stupid dogs would just roll over and die," shouted the little red filly who stamped a hoof. "No you don't little lady," I said, sad that the happy ponies, who knew nothing but kindness were pushed to the point of making a wish that would take another's life. "And why is that," she shouted, turning her anger to me with tears in her eyes. I motioned her to come over, when she did I picked her up in a hug, "What happened little one?" She sniffled into my vest, "My parents are gone... I can't feel their magic..." "Oh... I'm so, so sorry little one..." "My name's Cinnamon Stick," she was full blown sobbing now. 'Oh geez my heart, make it stop.' "That's a beautiful name Cinnamon, everyone gather round. I think this calls for an Aesop's Fable." They piled around me as I set Cinnamon in my lap, "Now would you like to hear the one about the dog's bell or the old man and death?" "Dog's bell, dog's bell, dogs bell!" "Okay here goes;" A Dog used to run up quietly to the heels of those he met, and to bite them without notice. His master sometimes suspended a bell about his neck, that he might give notice of his presence wherever he went, and sometimes he fastened a chain about his neck, to which was attached a heavy clog, so that he could not be so quick at biting people's heels. The Dog grew proud of his bell and clog, and went with them all over the market-place. An old hound said to him: "Why do you make such an exhibition of yourself? That bell and clog that you carry are not, believe me, orders of merit, but, on the contrary, marks of disgrace, a public notice to all men to avoid you as an ill-mannered dog." "What does that mean," a colt shout exasperated. "Well the moral of the story is; 'those who achieve notoriety often mistake it for fame.' I know this doesn't help any of you but during these times you need to keep a light heart-" I was cut off by the cell door slamming open and a burly Diamond Dog came in pointing his spear at little Cinnamon in my lap. "Give us little horny pony," he gruffly said, waking her up and she started crying again. "No! Don't let them take me," she screamed as she wrapped her hooves around me as they grabbed her by the scruff. "Hey where are you taking her," I yelled at him, standing to my full height; a good head and a half over him. "Pony parents dead... Little Pony work or she be eated." 'Oh hell nah!' I leaped at him causing him to drop her, I began pounding him in the face and the angrier I got the more the black shell covered my hands and face. "You do not eat ponies," I punctuated each word with a punch. He folded his legs in, kicked me over his head, and stabbed at me with the spear but sunk into the stone. "GO!" I shouted at the foals to get out while they could, my fight with the guard lead me into a massive cavern filled with ponies mining who stopped to see what the commotion was. The guard pushed me over the edge and I brought him with me, at this point I was mostly covered in the exoskeleton, as we fell my arms and chest swelled causing the shell burst into fur. He tried biting my neck and I returned in kind with my now elongated jaw filled with wickedly sharp teeth. His barks and shouts to the other dogs turned to gurgles as I tore out his throat and used his body as a cushion when we hit the floor. Several pony screamed and then mayhem as pony and several dogs ran for their lives. 'Blood. Chase. EAT. Kill...' "ArooooOOOOOoooooo," my roars filled the cavern as wings burst from my back and I chased after Diamond Dogs that tried stopping the ponies or maybe they were trying to stop me... 'What am I doing?' I thought to myself, I couldn't control myself. I've heard of moments like these were it feels like you're doing something but you're watching it like a movie. Tearing through two more dogs I saw a familiar unicorn filly running away from me, 'Cinnamon...' I chased, no, followed her towards one of the exits where everyone fled from me. I took off down the mountain trails towards an odd looking forest that smelled of one thing; 'home'.