//------------------------------//
// The Head of the Table 
// Story: Our Equestria 
// by Nonagon 
//------------------------------//

	Unlike with Cicada’s apparently bubble-based form of teleportation, there was no noise as Diamond Tiara reappeared in her original chair in her home. They had decided to split around noon, as lunch would soon be ready for them both, and Silver Spoon had her piano lesson in half an hour. Diamond Tiara had shut her eyes during the jump - teleporting had always scared her a little, but of course she would never admit this to the losers she had to share Equus with - and she kept them closed for a few seconds longer, savoring the different silence of home and the invisible feel of a new purpose burned onto her flanks. Then she opened her eyes and called out in a sing-song voice. “Daddy! I’m home!”
 
There was no answer.
 
Diamond Tiara scowled and looked around. She had turned up in her family’s spacious dining room, with its pink walls and its constantly empty mantelpiece; she had always pestered her daddy to find nice things to put on top of it or at least turn it on once in a while, like they did in Silver Spoon’s house, but he had always just laughed it off. The sturdy table was built for six but currently set for only one, with a purely cosmetic fork and knife laid out in front of her. She was, of course, at the head of the table. Frowning in irritation, she jumped down from her chair and stomped over to the kitchen.
 
“Mom?” she called, sticking her head through the doorway. For most of her life her mother had been simply a voice calling through this entrance, only coming out to eat or walk all the way to the door for her strolls. Today, however, her carefree singing couldn’t be heard from the thin room, and she was nowhere to be seen as Diamond Tiara entered. A plate and a note had been left high on the counter, which the pink filly climbed up onto a stool to read.
 
Your mother and I have been called out of town for some very important business. If you get hungry before we get back there’s leftover spaghetti in the fridge. Love you sweetheart.

Underneath the note was a sandwich. Diamond Tiara slipped the plate onto her back and, with practiced, balanced movements, dropped to the floor and made her way to the stairs.
 
She made it all the way to her bedroom without spilling a crumb and slid the plate onto the floor, taking the sandwich in her mouth and jumping onto her bed. Her room was as pretty and frilly as she was sure any princess’ would be, and almost completely but not uniformly pink. Most of its space was taken up by drawers of her once-worn dresses, topped with sparkling tiaras and untouched stuffed animals, and a desk scattered with newspaper articles and pictures of herself. Her absurdly plush bed was a four-poster one, which she’d demanded because she’d read about one in a book she liked but hadn’t fully understood its purpose. Its curtains, purple as the darker parts of her mane, hung loose around the four posts. She arranged herself daintily in the middle and pulled one of Daddy’s business magazines out from under her pillow, leafing through it while she ate.

One sandwich later, the reading stopped. Diamond Tiara brushed the last crumbs from her chin and slowly rolled over, careful not to dislodge her namesake from her head, and held the magazine high above her. The words of an article on the grain market blurred and started to repeat. She groaned and tossed the useless paper aside, crossing her forelegs grumpily in front of her.
 
This wasn't enough. She needed more.
 
Rolling over again and tumbling off the bed, she held her head high and trotted downstairs, then out the door. She could already hear the tinkle of music from Silver Spoon's house next door, and she stuck her tongue out at Peachy Pie's mansion down the street. She turned and started to trot away when Peachy Pie herself skated around the corner, Sweetie Belle in tow. She didn't need the attention of those kinds of ponies.
 
It wasn't market day, but a few ponies had still set up their stalls in a nearby square. She sauntered through, pretending to browse, waiting for somepony to comment on the new additions to her cutie mark. She found herself waiting a long time.
 
Eventually, pride gave way to impatience and she swaggered up to the nearest cart she saw. The makeshift stand was being manned by the big sister of one of the blank-flanks from school; not the kind of pony she would normally associate with, but who better to lord her status over now that she had a new purpose? "Mornin', Diamond Tiara," Applejack said, giving her a wary smile. "What can Ah get you?"
 
Diamond Tiara was a little taken aback by the question. She prepared a comeback, but a dull tug at the back of her stomach convinced her that the sandwich from earlier hadn't been quite enough to satisfy her superior appetite. "You're going to get me the best of whatever you've got in that cart," she said with a smile. "And make it snappy."
 
Applejack's eyes narrowed just a little, but her smile widened by the same margin. "All right, sugarcube," she said, reaching around to the back of her cart and hesitating with her hoof over several different fruits before selecting one. The apple she drew out was almost perfectly spherical and a shining, slightly golden red, the stem intact with a green leaf proudly extended. "The very best," the farmer said proudly, holding the fruit out. "All the convincing you'll need to put some apples on your table regularly. Top of the crop, and the leaf's free. All that for just one bit."
 
Diamond Tiara swiped the apple and bit into it, staring into Applejack's eyes the whole time. The fruit cracked loudly as her teeth broke the skin, and succulent juice dripped onto the ground. Applejack seemed only to be waiting expectantly. Diamond Tiara chewed and swallowed, telling herself that her grin came from the words she was about to speak. "Soon, I'm going to be the most important pony in Equestria."
 
Applejack stared blankly. "That's nice, DT," she said. "That's still one bit."
 
Diamond Tiara scowled. "Don't call me that," she scolded, flicking her mane back. "You don't get to call me that. Don't you know what this means?" She twisted around, showing off her new and improved cutie mark.
 
The farmer regarded her impassively. "Ah'd say that's one heck of a rash you've got there," she said. "You might wanna get that checked out. In the meantime, that's still one bit."
 
You little fool, Diamond Tiara grumbled inwardly, her eyes narrowing. Don't you know your life depends on me? "It means that soon, I'll be deciding who lives and who dies," she said, starting to raise her voice. "So you should be thinking about trying to get on my good side."
 
"Is there a problem?" a stallion asked, walking over. He stood by Diamond Tiara's side, and she delightfully recognized him as one of her daddy's friends.
 
Applejack sighed. "No, no problem, Axle," she said, using an altogether different tone of voice than the one she'd spoken to Diamond Tiara with. "Just one filly who's bein' a little reluctant to pay, that's all."
 
Oak Axle looked down. Diamond Tiara didn't try to hide the apple in her hoof, still dripping from the massive bite mark in its side. "Now, that can't have cost more than a single bit there," he said in a softer voice, infuriatingly switching sides. "Surely it wouldn't hurt your purse to pay a single bit, right?"
 
"I'm... I don't have any money," Diamond Tiara replied, feeling the situation starting to slip away from her. "But that doesn't matter!" she yelled as Oak Axle started to sigh. "I'm going to be a hero soon. You owe me!"
 
Although blessed with a lot more of it than most ponies, Applejack was starting to lose patience. "What are you talking about?"
 
"This!" She pointed back at her flank, tracing the fangs burned onto her sides. "That's what this means! Soon, I'm going to control a robot as big as a mountain and use it to save Equestria from destruction. You should all be thanking me!"
 
Repeatedly blinking, Oak Axle started to edge away from her. Applejack's response was more direct. "A what now?"
 
"A robot!" By now, other ponies were staring. Diamond Tiara glared back, daring them to look further. "You'll see!" she shouted. "Soon you'll see I'm right!"
 
Oak Axle closed his eyes and slowly rested his hoof in between them. "Little lady, maybe you should just go home," he said quietly. Then he turned back to Applejack and resumed his normal speaking voice. "I'll pay. How much was it?"
 
"Don't worry about it," Applejack answered with a sigh. "It's just one apple."
 
Diamond Tiara reddened. Unbelievable, she seethed. Soon, I'm going to be the most important pony in all of Equestria, and these fools are treating me like a common foal! "Stop ignoring me!" she shouted, throwing her apple in Applejack's face, then immediately running off before catching sight of her reaction. "My father will hear about this!" she yelled over her shoulder.
 
"Darn tootin' he will!" Applejack yelled back.
 
Once the market was a few streets away and ponies had stopped giving her baffled looks as she passed, she slowed down. "Ungrateful jerks," she grumbled. "But they'll see who they're dealing with soon. Then they'll be sorry." She kept walking, her legs finding a new destination almost before she knew it herself. Grating as their company was, she knew a couple of ponies who would at least appreciate her for who she was.
 
Though it wasn't as well known as that of the blank-flanks, Snips and Snails had a clubhouse of their own, or at least a structure that they referred to as such. It had been built in the grove behind the schoolhouse out of pieces of Snails' old shed, which the pair had inadvertently knocked down after trying to set up their base of operations there. What they'd eventually come up with was little more than several pieces of wood siding forming three walls and a roof, held together more by the surrounding trees than the pieces themselves. Despite its rickety appearance, Cheerilee had deemed the structure safe, and had allowed the colts to move two of the spare chairs and a table out of their basements and into their little alcove. When not at school they could usually be found in here, playing cards or some stupid game of pretend. It was, Diamond Tiara had decided, embarrassing.
 
When she rounded the schoolhouse and approached the structure, however, she was surprised to find only one of the two colts waiting for her. “Hey, Diamond Tiara!” Snips yelled, waving, then stopped. “I mean... Hello, my lady,” he continued in what he probably thought a Canterlot accent sounded like, complimenting it with a low bow. “Welcome to Chateau de Snips.”
 
Diamond Tiara approached cautiously. “Where is Snails?” she demanded.
 
“Huh? Oh, I dunno.” He shrugged and pulled out a chair for her, one of the identical pair from Equus. “Want to take a seat?”
 
Against her better judgement, Diamond Tiara sat down. A set of extremely mismatched cups and a beaten kettle had been laid out on the table already. “Doesn’t that bother you?” she asked.
 
“Huh? Oh, nah.” Snips shrugged again. “He just said he was busy. Want some tea?”
 
Diamond Tiara stared at him in incomprehension; she couldn’t imagine a world where she didn’t know where Silver Spoon was at all times. Even the thought gave her a strange sense of unease. She was so lost in this thought that she barely noticed the chipped mug being passed her way until it was practically under her nose. To his credit, Snips had managed to summon the magical strength to heat the water until it was at least lukewarm, but the leaf floating on the surface had clearly been pulled from one of the surrounding trees. Diamond Tiara accepted it, if only to make sure he didn’t start fussing like a baby, though she resolved to only pretend to drink from it if she had to.
 
A long pause followed, during which the earth pony glowered impatiently. Seemingly oblivious to this, Snips took an exaggeratedly delicate sip of his own drink and smiled back with the same infuriatingly chipper grin. “So, what brings you here?” he asked.
 
Diamond Tiara answered bluntly. “I’m the next pilot.”
 
Snips’ eyes widened. “No way.”
 
In response, Diamond Tiara stood up in her chair and turned to the side, showing off her new and improved cutie mark. Snips all but fell over in awe. “That is so cool,” he said.
 
“Thank you,” Diamond Tiara said with a sigh, throwing her mane back dramatically. “At least somepony appreciates it.”

Snips missed the tone of this, more absorbed in bouncing up and down in his seat. “When do you think it’s gonna be?” he asked. “What do you think you’ll fight? Do you think you’ll win?”

“Of course I’ll win,” she replied, rolling her eyes. “If that puny blank-flank Scootaloo can do it, obviously I can do even better. I just hope we don’t get sent all the way back to Seaddle this time. That place is old news.” She looked towards Ponyville’s limited skyline. “I want it to happen here. I want to win where everypony can see.” Without thinking, she took a sip of the ‘tea’. It tasted bitter. It actually wasn’t bad. “I’m going to prove I’m the best.”

They sat a moment in silence. It slowly began to dawn on both that they were, for the first time in their lives, alone with one another. “Hey, Diamond Tiara?” Snips said, seizing the opportunity. “You’re real pretty.”

Diamond Tiara crimsoned magnificently. “Why, you little– How dare y– Stupid colt...” She glared at the ground. “Shut up.”


---


No matter how many years went by, the path to Princess Celestia’s chambers never felt any shorter.

Red Cross was already waiting in front of the ornate doors as Shining Armour approached. He cut off the guard captain’s greeting with a curt nod and knocked heavily, signalling for the guards inside to open the way; it was not well known that they alone knew the magical frequency that would allow each side of the door to be moved. The two white ponies walked in side by side, though Shining Armour noticed Red Cross staying back slightly, always remaining a fraction of a step behind him.

Princess Celestia had been expecting them. She waited alertly on her throne, one of her trusted scribes at her side, as the pair stopped at a safe distance and simultaneously saluted. “Hello, my trusted protectors,” she greeted them, smiling at each in turn. “It is good to see you both again.”

Shining Armour couldn’t help but give Red Cross a surprised glance. “You do know this pony, Princess?” he asked. “I was beginning to have my doubts.”

Celestia gave the doctor a stare, choosing her words carefully. “He is... one of my favored researchers. He specializes in defenses against unknown or alien threats.”

“No need to dress me up, Princess,” Red Cross said, still with his characteristic smile. “I’m aware that the only good news from me is no news. Right now, however, it’s not myself who has news to bring. Shining Armour will deliver the update to our earlier report.” He bowed and stepped back.

Shining Armour took a second to mull this information over, but then stored it for later consideration and went on with his report. “My fastest scouts returned from Seaddle half an hour ago,” he began. “From their reports, the locals spoke of two unusual occurrences during the time when unusual energy signatures began to radiate from their town. The first was a carnival that appeared at approximately the same that the first instance of Identity Thirty-Three was detected. Their leaving two days later also coincided with the energy bursts stopping. The remainder of the scouts are tracking them down, and should be able to locate them soon. The other event was a set of two irregular earthquakes lasting several minutes each, both at night and during the times when the output of Identity Thirty-Three was at its highest.”

“Earthquakes?” Celestia asked, giving Red Cross a puzzled look. “Why didn’t you detect this before now?”

“A fluke of mechanics, my lady,” Red Cross answered with an apologetic bow. “For greatest precision, my seismographs are based on the energy running through the ley lines buried under Equestria. The fact that these quakes appeared as merely a blip on my radar tells us that they were not caused by pressure deep under the ground, but by enormous force high on the surface.”

Although she already had a dreaded suspicion, Celestia asked the next obvious question. “How is that possible?”

“We may know.” Shining Armour reached into a pocket in his barding and pulled out a photograph. “Seaddle’s mayor was able to provide us with a photograph that the carnival ponies sold her just before they left town. They claimed that it was taken on the night of the second earthquake.” He knelt down and extended his magic as far as he could, offering the picture.

Celestia took the photo and steeled herself before looking at it. The creatures it depicted were not, as she had feared, any of the ocean’s Titans, but this turned out to be little comfort. A dark unicorn towered over the ocean, the featureless waters giving no clue as to its actual size, while the tail of something even larger circled overhead. “The two beasts in this picture were reported to be fighting,” Shining Armour elaborated. “They vanished back into the ocean, so it’s not clear which won, if either. I’m afraid that the sources for this are unreliable, but right now, it’s the only lead we have.”

He was interrupted by a loud beeping noise from Red Cross. The doctor reached into his coat and produced a small wooden cube with a different colour of gemstone set into each side, of which the ruby was flashing and producing magical sparks. A panicked look came over his face as he waved this around, producing no results. “Uh-oh.”

“What is that?” Shining Armour demanded, leaping back to his hooves and backing away. “What’s happening? Tell me!”

The guards near the door looked nervously at one another, and Celestia’s aide, who had been taking notes, took the opportunity to hide behind the throne. Only the princess herself kept her composure. With a wave of golden light she turned the stained glass windows around her transparent, looking down upon her city for signs of the box’s distress. What she saw was much further away. “Shining Armour?” she said, her voice stilted. “I want you to turn around. And when you do, I want you to not panic.”

Shining Armour obeyed. He looked out the window nearest to him, at first looking down at Canterlot as she had done, but then slowly raising his gaze in the direction of Ponyville. It was only his Princess’s order that kept him from crying out. Visible even from this distance, a pair of dark shapes were descending over the town. One seemed to be nearly half-complete, its form impossible to make out; on the other, he believed he could make out the slowly emerging head and shoulders of the dark unicorn. “Shining Armour!” Celestia snapped, drawing him out of his stupor. “You know what to do.”

“At... at once, your highness!” He paused for only long enough to turn and snap off a salute before whirling away and galloping out of the room, barely clearing the doors as the two guards struggled to throw them open.

“Red Cross...” Celestia turned her gaze back to the other pony in front of her, whose grin had returned as quickly as it had left. She spoke more slowly. “You... know what to do.”

“At once, your highness.” The doctor saluted as well, then, at a much more leisurely pace, trotted out of the room.