//------------------------------//
// Star Swirl's Extreme Guide to Parties Great and Small 
// Story: Prodigy 
// by Sable Tails 
//------------------------------//

	Guests, guests, guests. Ponies filed in, singles and doubles and families too, to be greeted zealously by their orange comrade at the door. Per Star Swirl’s command, the guests were appearing with at least some semblance of clothing to mark the seriousness of the event, but Major had outdone them all. His mane was slick and moussed and combed, his forward torso and legs sporting a dapper black suit, quite well-fitted, and a black bow tie nestled comfortably at the base of his throat. Had he not also been wearing a huge grin as he welcomed the guests, Stasis might have actually taken him seriously, looking as he did now.
Sighing, Stasis scratched idly with one hoof at his own covering, a simple white Neighru jacket that he thought looking rather dashing. A pity that such close-fitting clothing over his masque had the feel of little ants crawling and nipping at his young, tender flesh. He wondered if his siblings did not have some trick or secret to making such dress more bearable, or if they just suffered in silence as he did. Nit had oft-mentioned the soothing effects of cider, he recalled, but Star Swirl would not even let them serve punch.
Ignoring the chattering and congregating of the ponies, Stasis inspected the snack table. There were no candies, or pastries, or sweet treats of any kind. Instead, his nose was assaulted with the nauseatingly green scents of fresh-cut asparagus and broccoli and lettuce, served alone or in small salad bowls, dressed with croutons. Tentatively, he poked at one of the party-size daisy sandwiches, its bread unsweetened and its daisies, thin and flaccid. Eating such a thing seemed vaguely akin to placing a few leaves between two pieces of soft bark and stuffing them in his mouth. Stasis wondered why Star Swirl didn’t just invite all the herbivores outside so as to nibble on the lawn instead; it would be cheaper and less labor-intensive, and Stasis would gladly pocket the difference.
Hey, old geezer! he imagined himself saying.
Aye, lad?
What’s up with all this green? Didn’t I tell you I wanted potaters and chocolate and vats of malted milk so big it has to have warning labels?
I’m sorry, lad, sometimes I’m just so thoughtless and forgetful –
I don’t want to hear any of your excuses, you old geezer. Your food is terrible, your species is terrible, and you’re terrible. Now go out and catch me a bear.
If Star Swirl ever reacted the way he wanted him to, that’s exactly what Stasis would have said.
Stasis’ musings were interrupted as one of the party ponies walked up and, appearing blissful as he whiffed the hay fries, popped a few into his mouth and chewed with a smile. The little changeling eyed his fellow ungulate distastefully.
Thankfully, the drinks were slightly more serviceable. Stasis used his magic to pour himself a glass of strawberry cordial. Scoffing at the available diluting water, he drank it straight, letting the sweet syrup ooze its way down his thirsting gullet. No nudity, no vats? He was going to need the sugar.
“Excuse me,” said a pony, walking up beside Stasis and pouring himself a glass of water earthpony-fashion.
Stasis rolled his eyes at the pony’s magic-less-ness. Leaning casually against the table, Stasis sloshed the cordial around his cup, wondering idly if he could get away with splattering the crimson syrup on his pristine white jacket. Maybe he could spread some on one of the kitchen knives, too? His desire to see the ponies’ reactions was only slightly less intense than his desire not to see Star Swirl’s.
Glancing over, he noticed the earthpony’s cutie-mark staring back at him. Watching him. Blinking, Stasis’ gaze followed the pony’s large torso, up the hard muscles of the flank, past the simple golden vest to the square jaw and stolid face looking down at him. Stasis swore he could see the slightest tinge of amusement in the colt’s eyes.
“Majooooooooor!” Stasis called, not breaking his nemesis’ gaze.
“Huh?” came the answer.
“What is this?”
“Um…Pierce?” Major answered, sounding confused. “Or are you talking about his eyeballs? You’re staring at them pretty hard.”
“What is he doing at my party?” Stasis clarified, glancing over at his…friend.
“Oh! That.” Major smiled. “I invited him!”
Stasis made a sound halfway between a curse, a groan, and a hiss.
“Don’t worry, Stasis,” Pierce said coolly. “I’m not here to bother you. You’ve discovered your cutie-mark; you deserve the chance to celebrate.”
“You’re not welcome here,” Stasis stated bluntly. “Go away.”
Pierce didn’t even blink. “Oh? I’m sorry to hear that. If you have a problem with me, perhaps you’d like to take it up with Star Swirl?” If anything, Pierce’s look grew even more intense as he awaited Stasis’ answer.
After a few moments, Stasis’ gaze wavered, and he looked down at the immaculate floor instead. “…No.”
Pierce took a sip of his water before wandering off, apparently to mingle.
“This party’s stupid,” Stasis muttered into his cup. “I hate it. I hate parties.”
“Nonsense!” bellowed Star Swirl from only a few paces away. “You’re having the time of your life here, lad! You just don’t know it yet.”
Stasis scowled at his persecutor. “I had to slave over this floor, and all my worst enemies are here, and what am I supposed to do with this?” he scorned, making a sweeping gesture at the ‘food’ behind him. “What’s supposed to be fun about this stupid party, anyway?”
“Games, lad! Games!” Star Swirl boomed, his eyes all a-twinkle.
“Games?” Stasis queried, suddenly unsure.
“Games!” Star Swirl repeated, holding up the book that he’d been reading quite a bit these past few days. “Animal’s Extreme Guide to Parties Big and Small has more games described than a lad as young and inexperienced as yourself can possibly imagine, and I’ve spared no expense in getting them set up for you. Are you ready, lad?”
“Sure?” Stasis set his glass down, somewhat enthused, somewhat afraid. Things that excited Star Swirl often excited Stasis too, but not always in a good way.
“Excuse me, Mr. Swirl?” said Major’s dad from beside the bearded wizard.
“Eh?” Star Swirl queried, blinking as he looked over. “What do you want?”
“Major and I were wondering if you were going to perform any magic as part of the celebration today. I know that many of the children and more than a few of the adults here would be delighted at the chance to watch Equestria’s greatest magician at work,” Major’s dad said with an amiable smile.
“No,” gruffed Star Swirl. Looking out towards the great mass of ponies scattered across the living room, he boomed, “Alright, folks. I reckon most of you are here, so it’s time for the first game of the day to begin.”
The ponies ceased their twaddling and looked towards him expectantly. Some of the children cheered.
Star Swirl’s horn began to glow. At once, the windows shuttered, the doors slammed shut, and candles burst into flame before the great wizard, shadows dancing across his hooded face. Smiling widely now, Star Swirl levitated up two cauldrons on either side of him – one filled with false pony tails, the other with a myriad of blindfolds.
“It’s time for Pin-the-Tail-on-the-Pony-Extreme.”

*	*	*

“Bwahahahahahaha!” Stasis cackled. “Bwahahahahahahahaha! That was great!”
Though his own bum burned, as he gazed out over the room of rumpled and blinking ponies, the little changeling was quite certain that he had given better than he had gotten. Many of the guests – children and adults both – were looking back at him with a sort of bitter anxiety. He grinned.
“Hey, Stasis?” came a dapper voice.
“Huh? What?” Stasis responded, turning to his friend.
Somehow, Major still managed to look every part the prim and proper domestic, despite everything that had just occurred. It was almost as if putting on the suit gave him some kind of posh pony powers, an ability to shrug off pinning attacks that would surely have tousled any lesser mortal. Stasis was impressed.
Major looked down at the floor between them, and scratched it idly with one hoof. “Um…I was wondering if maybe you could do me a favor….”
Normally, Stasis may very well have dismissed such a proposal outright. Major was his friend now, however, and he was trying to remember that friends were to be accorded special privileges.
“Yeah?” he prompted.
Major licked his lips. Looking over Stasis’ shoulder at the far corner of the room, he pointed.
Following Major’s hoof, Stasis saw none other than Abra herself, looking boring as ever in her deep-green dress. The edges were trimmed with a green so dark it was nearly black, giving her an overall floral look, like grass springing up from a patch of dirt, or perhaps moss spreading across a rotting tree. She was biting her lip as she gazed at her hooves, glancing furtively at the bookshelf next to her every few moments.
Looking up, she quickly scanned the room. Seeing Stasis, her jaw clenched, and she looked away.
“What about Abra?” Stasis demanded. “Or do you just want me to pat you on the back for managing to invite every single one of my worst enemies to my once-in-a-lifetime party? Great job, Major. What a friend you are.”
“I think that she really wants to read Star Swirl’s books,” Major replied.
“Then maybe right next to the forbidden object of her dark scholarly desires is not the best place for her to be sitting, hmm? Maybe she should go find some other library to sit in where touching tomes doesn’t transmogrify.”
Major frowned. “You like to read books sometimes. Star Swirl likes to read books. And reading is Abra’s favorite thing in the world to do, and I know that reading Star Swirl’s books would make her very happy. Why won’t you help?”
“I think that you just answered your own question,” Stasis explained.
Major stood up, glowering. “You know, I think that I’m going to go ask somepony else for help instead,” he huffed.
“Hey, don’t get mad at me,” Stasis protested. “I mean, what is it that you expect me to do, anyway? Star Swirl said that if anypony touches his books, he was going to shave off his beard and beat them with it.”
“That’s why I need help!” Major said, looking anxiously towards the ornery old wizard. “I know he really doesn’t like ponies touching his stuff, but…he’s kind of like your dad, I guess, so I thought that maybe…um….”
“What? Scared to ask him yourself?”
Major shuffled his hooves ashamedly. “Well….”
Stasis’ eyebrows rose. “You are!” he accused. “Major, you can’t go through life being all cowardly. You’ve got to stick up for yourself! Don’t let some hairy old wizard put you down!”
Major winced. “But Stasis…I mean, I know he wouldn’t really beat me with his beard, but….“
“I can’t believe this,” Stasis huffed. “I just can’t believe this. You say that you’re my friend, but you’re terrified of some geezer so old his joints strike up a chorus every time he shuffles to the bathroom? You’re shivering in your horseshoes over some wrinkly stallion who smells like mothballs and looks like he works at a circus?”
“Shh! He’ll hear you!” Major whispered.
Stasis stood up, resolute. “No friend of mine gets to be craven! Watch, and be encouraged!”
Stalking towards his prey – who was in a conversation with Major’s dad, incidentally – Stasis took a great breath and, in his most awe-inspiring and fearsome voice, yelled, “Hey, you! Old geezer!”
Star Swirl froze, his mouth still open mid-syllable. Slowly, ever so slowly, his one visible eye swiveled, watching Stasis. Damning him.
For a few moments, silence overtook the room.
Tap. Tap. Tap. went the paddling-hoof against the floor. Tap. Tap. Tap.
Stasis looked desperately around him, but the closest ponies were slowly drawing away, while the rest studiously inspected their hooves. Surrounded by ponies, he was alone.
“I…I mean…uh….”
Tap. Tap. Tap.
“Major wants to ask you a question!” Stasis shouted, backing up as fast as he could, giving his friend plenty of room to approach.
All attention turned to the dapper colt, who visibly gulped. Taking the first quivering step, he approached the statuesque wizard.
“Mister….Mr. Swirl?” he asked.
“Aye?” Star Swirl replied slowly, relaxing his posture. A little.
“Can…can Abra please read some of your books?” Major requested.
“Who?” asked Star Swirl, looking about the room.
“My friend Abra,” Major said, pointing out the filly in the corner. “I promise that she’ll take good care of them!”
“Eh?” asked the legendary wizard, looking at her. Studying her.
Abra’s eyes grew bigger than an owl’s, and her breath stopped mid-inhale. Stasis wondered how long she could hold out.
After a few moments, Star Swirl shrugged. “Eh, I reckon. I already hid away the priceless ones, so: if she breaks it, she buys it.”
“Thank you, Mr. Swirl!” Major said happily, diving in for a hug…then pulling back, reconsidering, and dashing off towards Abra instead. Abra herself just sat there, staring blankly at the far wall.
“You’re welcome!” Stasis yelled after his friend, before grumbling under his breath. Major could be very inconsiderate at times.
Somewhat put-out, Stasis sulked near to the adults. What mature ponies talked to each other about was always interesting to him in a sort of abstract way. Stasis felt like a zoologist or explorer whenever he listened in, anyway.
“– don’t know what to tell her. On the one hoof, I want to support her that no matter what she does – and she is quite talented, and loves it so much. On the other hoof, she always talks about her art as if she’s going to make a career out of it any day now. I try to tell that there’s no money in paintings or sculptures, not unless you can get a patron. And even if she were that dedicated, we’d have to move to the capital for her to have any real chance of catching the attention of the aristocracy. That would be an enormous burden; my job is here, and Major would have to leave all his friends.”
Star Swirl grunted thoughtfully.
“I think part of the problem is that she grew up in such a rich family,” said Major’s dad. “She’s generally sensible and good with money and the like, and she does her best when it comes to cooking and housework, but with some things she can be a bit…unrealistic.”
“Has she considered magic?” Star Swirl asked, cocking an eyebrow.
“…Excuse me?”
“I hear that using magic to make art is quite the fad these days,” Star Swirl continued. “There’s that pedestal they’ve got set up in front of the palace. You know, the one that looks like it’s got a glowing statue of Princess Celestia on it by day, and one of Princess Luna by night? Nothing but a fancy hologram, but the big horns in Everfree City love throwing money at that kind of thing.”
“That statue was unveiled over forty years ago, Mr. Swirl,” Major’s dad said, looking mildly distressed. “I wasn’t even born yet. Also, my wife is an earthpony.”
“Theoretical magic, then?” Star Swirl said, eyes twinkling under his hat.
“Mr. Swirl….”
Star Swirl’s laugh boomed across the room. “Ha! You’re too easy. It’s like a second Stasis just dropped right in my lap.”
Major’s dad chuckled lightly, looking uncomfortable.
“I tell you what,” Star Swirl continued. “Why don’t you have your wife send over one of her smaller paintings? I’ve got a bottle of dragon-fire lying around here someplace; I’ll send the painting over to an old acquaintance in the capital, and he can show it around to all his fancy-pants friends. If anypony’s interested, they’ll get in touch with her.”
Now Major’s dad looked even more uncomfortable. “Now, Mr. Swirl, I can’t ask you to do that….”
“Nope. But I’m getting a bit long in the tooth, and I reckon that if there’s ever a time to abuse my fame, it might as well be now. For a good cause.”
“Oh. Well, I –“
“If you seek to make yourself a patron through proxy, Oh Bearded One, I’m certain that I can think of a few other struggling artists who could use your goodwill.”
Star Swirl turned around and squinted. “Jack? When did you get here?”
“I apologize for my tardiness. I hope I’m not intruding?” Jack asked. Stasis was surprised to note that, in place of his usual odiferous weed, the older earthpony appeared to be masticating one of the sandwiches instead.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, sir. I’m Major’s father,” said Major’s dad with a smile.
“I am Jack. Neither the gods nor fate has seen fit to give me wife or child, so I must greet you only as myself.”
“And seeing as how you’ve got no kids of your own, Jack, I’m a little bit confused about what you’re doing here at Stasis’ cute-ceanara,” Star Swirl questioned.
“I was invited.”
Star Swirl stared at Jack. Jack chewed his sandwich.
The silence stretched on for a few more moments, before Star Swirl shrugged. “Eh, whatever. You’re just in time for the second game, anyway.”
“Nothing as…exciting as the last, I hope?” asked Major’s dad, looking anxious.
“Of course not!” Star Swirl decried. “That was just warming everypony up. This is where things get exciting.”
“Mr. Swirl, don’t you think Pin-the-Tail-on-the-Pony-Extreme was a bit dangerous for children this young?” Major’s dad continued.
“Nonsense,” Star Swirl scoffed. “Look at them! They’re all running around like normal already. Kids this age are rubber; they just bounce right back. Also, being rubber is going to be especially important, seeing as how the next game is Bobbing-For-Apples-Extreme!”
“Are you not going to make a display of your magic?” asked Jack. “I would have imagined that you would be keen for such an opportunity, given how rare it is for you to be able to show off your knowledge and power in a way that truly resonates with the populace at large.”
“The populace can amuse itself well enough on its own without needing my help,” Star Swirl gruffed. “I’ve got better things to do. Like managing children’s parties. Speaking of which….”
Every head in the room turned as, with a loud grating sound, several large basins of water were dragged from the kitchen via magic; a fluorescent barrel covered in strange and arcane warning symbols was floated over each tub and tilted until prismatic apples spilled out.
The pony children’s faces were lit up as rainbow lightning crackled and arced before them.

*	*	*

Major stumbled over, his suit as immaculate as his eyes were glazed. “Ow…Stowsis, I cown’t feel my tongue anymore….”
Stasis cackled madly with joy. “Bwahahahahaha! I know! I luff it!”
“I think I’m gowing to go lie down for a while…” muttered Major, beginning a controlled fall towards the nearest wall.
“Mowe! Mowe!” Stasis cried. Several nearby ponies glanced back and forth between him and Star Swirl fearfully.
“I’m afraid that I’m fresh out of zap apples, lad,” Star Swirl sorrowed. “They’re darned expensive this time of year, and don’t keep well. But not to worry; the next event’s already begun.”
Stasis looked towards the other end of the room. There, several musicians had grouped themselves together and begun to synchronize their instruments, flutes and chimes and clarinets, oboes and lutes and lyres all working together in symphony. It was strange, this pleasant strumming and humming of the air, so different than his own family’s vocals, but producing a similar ethereal, almost otherworldly effect.
Even more fascinating, however, was the small, kinetic crowd of ponies surrounding the instrumentalists, many of the party-goers engaged in this rhythmic swaying of the body, this pounding of hoof and pulse of muscle, this toss and turn and twist that so intrigued him. The way they seemed to lose themselves to the beat, to the sheer physicality of the act, caring not for social norms or niceties as they rubbed and bumped and sweat, coming together as one in a mass of undulating flesh to worship these heavenly sounds that flowed and throbbed between them, through them, inside them. It was all so alien, so…perverse.
…
…
…
Stasis loved it! Cackling once more, he ran and leapt into the fray.
…Only to be lifted out a moment later, firmly bubbled within a sphere of blue magic and repression.
“Hey!” Stasis protested, loosening his numb tongue for the verbal onslaught he was about to unleash.
Star Swirl brought him close, expression disapproving. “’Hey’ yourself, lad.”
“But I didn’t even do anything yet!” Stasis argued. “You can’t punish me!”
“And I’m not punishing you yet. But if you want to dance, you have to follow the rules,” Star Swirl chided.
“Rules? What rules? This is free expression! You can’t suppress free ex–“
Star Swirl hit him with a book.
“The book says otherwise,” Star Swirl countered. “Specifically, it says that if you want to dance, there’s something you need. Something these other ponies have, and you do not. Do you know what that is, lad?”
“No,” Stasis pouted, crossing his forelegs over his chest.
“Look.” Star Swirl tapped the little changeling gently on the head, pitching him down.
Stasis turned slowly through the air, watching Star Swirl’s beard stream by as a cloud, then the reflection of his own ponified face in the floor, and finally the dancers, even more impressive now that they appeared to be cavorting their way across the ceiling. He observed them more critically this time.
Feeling quite vertiginous now, Stasis was finally stopped by Star Swirl’s hoof as the wrinkly old wizard’s face came back into view.
“And?”
“The ponies are all dancing in pairs?” Stasis guessed.
“That’s right,” Star Swirl continued, levitating the book up between them. “There shall be no dancing at this party, save in pairs.”
Stasis snorted in exasperation. “Whatever. I guess I’ll just go get –“
“Not Major,” Star Swirl interjected. “Opposite genders only.”
“What?” Stasis screeched. “Who says?”
Star Swirl opened the book to the back cover. “’Mr. Animal is a cosmopolitan partygoer who has dedicated his life to experiencing every kind of bash and blowout that the world has to offer. From wine tasting with the capital elite to drunken brawls in seedy gryphonic taverns, from juggling crystal corn on the cob at the Crystal Kingdom’s Crystal Fair to pagan rituals and exorcisms amongst the Quagga tribals, from deadly tests-of-strength before the Minotaurian Emperor to frenzied Bison Dancing with the mysterious buffalo of southern Equestria, Mr. Animal has seen it all, tasted it all, and enjoyed it all. Last seen responding to an invitation to a traditional draconic feast, any information regarding Mr. Animal’s whereabouts are to be forwarded posthaste to Mrs. Animal, who is currently hitchhiking across the donkey lands southwest of the Everfree in search of the perfect hoedown.’”
“That’s stupid,” Stasis muttered. “Mr. Animal’s stupid. I hate him!”
“I understand, lad,” Star Swirl said softly. “After the party, we can write him some nice hate-mail. Until then, we’ve no choice but to follow the rules as he’s set them down, and for this type of dance, it’s couples-only.”
“Fine!” Stasis spat. After a moment the bubble popped, and he plopped down onto his hooves once more.
Turning his back on the recalcitrant wizard and scanning the room, Stasis began to take stock of the female pony population. It was a disappointing selection. Even in this dim lighting, the bright and cheery colors were an assault to his sensitive eyes and sensibilities; there was not a fang of any size to be seen; and the less that was said about their personalities, the better. It was like someone had taken colored marshmallows and given them life and a purpose.
Looking about, he decided that he would just have to make do. Who would be the least-terrible filly to have as a dancing partner? Mrs. Busybody was too old; Mrs. Strudel, too fat. Mrs. Jiggle was too old and too fat. Little Apple Crumpet was too delicate and doe-eyed for his taste, and he enjoyed antagonizing Abra far too much to ever consider dancing with her.
What he really wanted was a filly strong of will and pure of purpose; a feminine embodiment of power of mind and body; a female whose psyche alone could crush lesser creatures and bend them to her will.
Basically, he wanted a feminized version of himself. Barring that, he supposed he could make do with Goldie. Better the Discord you know than the Discord you don’t.
Frowning, he looked around the expansive living room. He was almost certain that he had seen the alabaster filly arrive by herself before the party, but now that he thought about it, he didn’t recall seeing her since. He hoped that she hadn’t been hogging the bathroom the whole time; Star Swirl had muttered darkly about such ponies while reading his book.
Trotting about, he made a circuit of the room, eyes alert for the slightest hint of white-and-yellow. As he rounded one of the corners, he paused, his eyes jumping back to something they’d almost skipped: a flash of color in an otherwise barren place between two bookshelves in the corner of the room.
There sat Goldie, wearing a simple blue dress with pink flowers patterned across it that matched the color of her eyes perfectly. In her hooves was a well-worn white earthpony doll with yarn-for-mane and stitched mouth. He sported a stylish tux and top hat, a monocle over one button eye, and in one hoof was an ebony cane, an excellent accessory for fashion as well as self-defense. His expression appeared politely interested yet guarded, the face of a pony who held his cards close to the vest.
“Is that Mr. Top-hat?” asked Stasis. The little changeling had never had a doll before, and was intrigued.
Goldie’s head was bowed and her eyes closed as she rubbed Mr. Top-hat against her cheek.
“Goldie? Are you alright?” Stasis asked. He normally did not concern himself with the feelings and moods of others, but something was definitely off with his friend’s friend.
“Please go away, Stasis…” Goldie murmured softly into her doll. As she blinked, Stasis saw tear stains on Mr. Top-hat’s chest.
He looked about nervously, but nopony seemed to be paying the pair of them any attention whatsoever. He considered going to get Star Swirl to do something…but….
“What’s going on?” he asked instead. “Are you hurt?”
“I…I….” Goldie sniffed. “I miss my momma….”
Stasis frowned. “That’s what this is about? Goldie, if you miss your mother, then why don’t you just go home? Nopony said that you have to be here at my party, you know. And if Major said that, don’t listen to him.”
Goldie started crying. Stasis felt like he was missing something here.
“Do you need…um…somepony to walk you home?” he asked. Now that he thought about it, Stasis had never actually seen Goldie’s mother, but he presumed that home was probably where she was kept.
“She’s…not here anymore…” she whispered hoarsely.
“That’s why you would need somepony to take you home. To see her,” he explained slowly. “Or I guess somepony could go get her for you. What does she look like?”
“She died,” Goldie continued, so quietly that even Stasis’ ears strained to hear. “She said that she was going to throw me a party when I got my cutie-mark, and there was going to be balloons and cake and a tea party with Mr. Top-hat, and since she was a unicorn, when we had tea parties she would use her magic to make him move around and sip his tea, and she would always do these funny voices for him. ‘Yes, Miss Goldie, this tea is delightful,’ she’d pretend he’d say, ‘much better than that mud your father fixes. How do you do it?’ And I’d say…I’d say….” Goldie buried her face in her doll.
Stasis licked his lips nervously. Why was this kind of thing always happening around him? Major had been crying last week, and Goldie was crying now, and what was Stasis supposed to do? He never cried. What did he know about crying?
“I…um…” he began. “…Did she get sick, or die in childbirth or something?” He didn’t know much about why pony mothers died, but those things probably topped the list near where he used to live.
Goldie sniffled. “The monsters got her. I hid in an alley until the guardsponies came, and one of the pegasusus grabbed me up and flew away. They told me that she was going to be alright, but I knew that they were lying.”
Stasis looked at her, huddled up in the corner. She seemed familiar, now. More so than he cared to remember.
Pondering further, he said, “I thought I just didn’t recognize you from school…but I guess that you just weren’t there for the rest of last semester, huh?”
Goldie didn’t look at him. She didn’t answer.
“…I think maybe I should go,” he said.
“I don’t play with any of my old friends anymore,” Goldie murmured. “I didn’t do anything for a long time, but then Daddy signed me up for the play…and I met Major, and he was really nice to me, and you were really mean….”
Now it was Stasis’ turn to be silent.
“…But then Major told me about how you were an orphan, so I thought that maybe you were just being mean because you were sad…” she whispered. “Do you miss your momma, Stasis?”
Stasis didn’t think of Mother as much anymore. But now he did. For some reason a particular memory surfaced, one that he hadn’t remembered in some time.
The others, gone. Departed. A soft wind whistled through the clearing, tousling her hair as she towered over him, looking down upon him. He felt nothing in her heart, saw nothing in her face, and was afraid.
Her hoof reached out suddenly, and he flinched back. The hard tip of it rested gently against his cheek. She watched him silently for a time, and he stared back into her verdant eyes, fearing to move.
“You shall forget me,” she breathed.
He watched her quietly, listening.
“And you shall be great,” she said, her lips barely moving. “I know this truth, deep within me. You shall surpass your father, and your father’s father, and even your father’s father’s father shall bow before you, at the end. Long have I yearned to have one child with my blood, one whom I shall not watch wither and die before me. I did not ask for you to be great.”
“I shan’t forget you,“  he whispered.
“I heard it, whispered in my dreams. ‘He shall forget you, and you shall curse him.’ Sons forget their mothers, in ten years, or ten thousand. But why should I curse you, my reward? Was I forsaken for so long, did I suffer barrenness and contempt through these ages, that I may curse you now that you are here?”
“I….”
She took back her hoof and turned from him. He waited there, silent, until the others returned. She never spoke of the matter to him again.
“…I miss her,” he whispered to Goldie, and shuddered.
Goldie sniffled. “…I’m sorry for being so mean to you sometimes, Stasis. You’re a huge jerk, and you deserve it a lot, but I’m still sorry.”
Stasis looked away. After a few moments, his eyes alighted on the near corner; there, Pierce sat speaking with Abra. Her eyes grew wide and looked back at Stasis for a moment, before Pierce interposed his large frame between the two.
Stasis froze. He thought quickly, trying to imagine a way to separate the two ponies. It would be best if he could find some way to expel Pierce and convince Abra to focus on her books; it wouldn’t do to have them both leave together –
Goldie sniffled again in the corner. Slowly, Stasis turned away from the other two and watched her for a few moments. Pondering.
“Hey,” he said.
She sniffed, and looked up at him. “Yeah?”
“I want to dance, and I need a partner,” he explained.
“I don’t know how to dance…” she said softly, looking down at Mr. Top-hat, whose expression seemed more sympathetic now.
He rolled his eyes. “It’s not all about you, Goldie. May I have this dance, Mr. Top-hat?”
Goldie gave a half-hearted giggle. “You can’t dance with my doll, Stasis. Dolls are filly’s toys.”
“I doubt Mr. Top-hat appreciates this discrimination,” Stasis warned darkly.
Goldie looked at her doll, and smiled slightly. “Well…maybe Mr. Top-hat and me can dance, and you can dance with us?”
“Maybe Mr. Top-hat and I can dance, and you can dance with us instead,” Stasis countered.
“You jerk,” Goldie giggled. “I think Mr. Top-hat just wants us all to dance together.”
Stasis eyed the doll critically for a few moments. “…Well, I guess it does seem unwise to argue with somedoll as urbane as Mr. Top-hat,” he conceded.
“You’re the weirdest pony that there ever was, Stasis,” Goldie laughed, stretching out one forehoof.
Stasis eyed the hoof critically for a few moments…then grinned. He was weird, wasn’t he? Coming from a pony, that was a great compliment.
He helped her up.

*	*	*

“The hippodrome,” Jack hissed. “The hippodrome! That albatross about the neck of civilization, that abominable cancer at the heart of ponykind! Tell me, did our forefathers chew upon pop-ped corn as they penned their timeless works? Did the great epics burst forth from their throats, only to be washed back down with flavored water and lemon-ade? Did they worship their sculpted athletes as gods, while the artist and the poet and the bard were thrown by the way? Nay, I say! Nay!”
“You…feel strongly about this,” Major’s dad said warily.
“I should chain myself before its gates, I should sap beneath its foundations, I should exorcise it from our beloved city as one would the foulest demon or the cankerest wound! Would that I had the strength, I would tear it apart pillar-by-pillar, stone-by-stone, even if it must collapse down upon me!”
“Wish the book’d let me put out something stronger than cordial…” murmured Star Swirl, squinting into his cup.
“Dad and I love the hippodrome!” Major exclaimed.
“What’s a hippodrome?” whispered Goldie.
“Event! Event!” demanded Stasis. “Onward to the next event!”
“I think that may be a good idea, lad,” said Star Swirl, setting down his glass and straightening his beard. “It’s about time we got on with it.”
The dull murmur of conversation and laughter dropped away, and all eyes and ears turned towards the mighty wizard. Stasis could taste their fear.
“I was pretty surprised to see this one in the book, actually,” Star Swirl explained. “It started up north as a game we kids used to play, since we couldn’t afford any of these fancy fake pony tails or apples or whatnot. Of course, seeing as how I’ve got more money and cosmic power now than I know what to do with, I went ahead and made a few modifications so as to make things more exciting –“
“Boo! Boo! Less explanations, more events! Boo!” Stasis booed.
Star Swirl glared at him for a moment before clearing his throat. “Fine. The next game is….”
Some ponies leaned in expectantly, while others edged towards the exit.
“Spider-Toss-Extreme!”
The room exploded with sound.
“What kind of party is this?”
“Please, Celestia, no….”
“How can you do this? Think of the children!”
Star Swirl glared at the mob around him. “Oh, what a bunch of proud parents you lot must be, skirting about like a bunch of spineless crawdads, moaning and groaning over every little thing. Are these children you’re raising, or bubbles, ready to pop at every little scratch and scrape?”
“Bubbles! Bubbles!” Stasis cried. “We want magic bubbles!”
“Are these spiders poisonous?”
“Of course they’re venomous, you ninny! Almost all spiders are venomous! They just can’t pierce the skin of ponies, seeing as how their mouthparts are normally so…small…hmm…might actually need to make a modification to my spell, now that I think about it….”
“I think that the young thespian may have a point. Considering that he is the cause for our celebration in the first place, why not do as he suggests and show us your magic, Oh Bearded One?”
“Stop calling me that, you green-toothed jackanapes.”
“It’s like that other fellow said! Give us magic!”
“Yeah! We came to see magic, not to get sent to the hospital!”
“Magic! Magic! Magic!” Stasis chanted, and the ponies quickly took up the rallying cry.
“What do you all think I am, anyway? Some side-show conjurer, here to do card tricks and light shows and pull a bit out of your ear? Do you think I travel around in a caravan, some petty charmer wooing earthponies with my hocus-pocus and abra-kadabra so that they’ll drop coins in my cap? Do I look like a common stage magician to you?”
Major’s dad looked the belled wizard up and down for a few moments, opened his mouth…and wisely closed it again.
“It’s my cute-ceanara! Magic, I say! Magic!” Stasis cried, sensing the slave-driver’s weakness.
Star Swirl’s eyes almost seemed to burn as they glared at the little changeling from under his mighty wizard’s hat. “Oh? Is that what you want, lad?” He scanned the crowd. “Is that what all of you want? You want to see my magic?”
“Yes!” they cried. “Show us magic!”
“Oh, I’ll show you magic,” Star Swirl growled, tossing his book so hard it shattered a glass of strawberry cordial and splattered the precious crimson fluid all over another colt’s white jacket, causing Stasis to groan in annoyance. “I’ll show you magic, all right. But there’ll be no blinds or bluffs here, oh no! I’ll show you real magic, magic born of a lifetime of sweat and tears and study! I’ll show you what a real archmage can do!”
“Show us! Show us!” they cried.
Stasis cackled with glee as he found himself wrapped in arcane bubbly goodness and lifted high above the crowd.
“And when I’m done, it’s this lad that you lot’d better be thanking, you hear? It’s this lad that’s the cause! Say, ‘Thank you, Stasis!’”
“Thank you, Stasis!” they cried.
“Because I’m about to blow your little ninny minds,” Star Swirl rumbled, his horn beginning to burn brighter and brighter before them.

*	*	*

“Look at me! Look at me! I’m flying!” cried Goldie as she flailed about, butterfly wings beating valiantly against the air as the taller ponies ducked and weaved around the nimble neo-pegasus.
“Hey, Dad! Look! I’m as tall as you now!” cheered Adult Major, his wide chest thrust proudly forward out of the burst remains of his suit.
“Look! Look! I’m as small as a tadpole now! Aren’t you glad you named me Tadpole, Momma?”
“I taste weird.”
“In these rhymes, I do seem bound. Shall of oranges, I now expound?” 
“I can see through ponies’ clothes now. What am I supposed to do with that?”
“I think I’m a girl now.”
Major’s dad gave a strained smile. “These changes aren’t permanent, are they, Mr. Swirl?”
“This is not happening. This is not happening. This is not happening.”
“My wife is going to kill me….”
“Please, Mr. Swirl! Please change him back! I’ll give you money!”
“This is something of an improvement, actually.”
Star Swirl wiped his pale face with a kerchief, his eyes slightly unfocused and horn sparking. “Will you lot just calm down?” he muttered, ponies straining to hear him over the uproar in the suddenly-cramped room. “For Celestia’s sake, half of these spells are illusion-based anyhow. Leave ‘em alone and they’ll wear off in a few hours.”
One gaunt-faced mare shoved her way through the crowd, coming face-to-face with the hatted wizard.
“Look at what you’ve done to my baby. Look at what you’ve done to her!”
“Eh?” questioned Star Swirl, following her gaze upwards.
On the ceiling there was a filly, apparently oblivious to the scene below as she played with her tail.
“Does that look like the proper place for a little girl to be playing, Mr. Swirl? On the ceiling?”
Star Swirl stroked his beard absently, looking puzzled. “I don’t even recall casting that one….”
A stallion coughed. The surrounding ponies looked at him.
“It’s possible I may have…*ahem*…been the one to cast that particular spell.”
The mare stared at him. “You? Sleight, that is our daughter!”
“Everypony else was doing it….”
Stasis cackled from atop his high perch, gazing out of his sorcerous globule upon the scene of magical mayhem below. It was glorious!
…And it was at times like these that Stasis really wished that he was actually a chaos god instead of a little changeling. Feeding on bedlam just seemed like a better fit for his personality and motivations.
“Hey! Hey, Stasis, it’s me!” cried some small random colt from school, slowly floating by in a bubble of his own.
“Hey,” Stasis replied noncommittally. He already had one friend; his quota for this lifetime was pretty full.
“I wanted to talk to you!” cried the colt as he floated out of convenient sociability range.
“That’s nice,” lied the little changeling. “But it’s my cute-ceanara, and I’m busy. Maybe you can make an appointment with Star Swirl?”
“But…I need your help! And everypony knows how super-smart you are, Stasis! You must be the smartest pony ever!”
This seemed like a sensible pony child. With a few practiced kicks, Stasis propelled himself through the air, swiftly matching velocities with the other ungulate.
“Yeah?” Stasis prodded lazily as he soared through the air in his bubble.
“Well, everypony’s always talking about how smart you are, and Major – oomph!”
Pony and changeling bounced off one of the bookcases and began sailing back the way they came.
“…And Major said that you and Star Swirl helped him pass the fifth grade, and I’m only in second grade, so…do you think that when school starts, you could help me with my homework, too?”
Stasis pondered. It was true; Major had passed the fifth grade to the delight of teacher and parents alike. Stasis figured that nopony had ever worked as hard for his C’s as Major did.
Stasis eyed the little pony critically. He looked earnest enough…and he did recognize Stasis’ superior intellect. That had to count for something. There was one important question he had to have answered before he could commit to anything, though.
“…Do you have any money?”

*	*	*

Stasis watched idly as the party-goers filed out of the living room into the awaiting street outside. He eyed the bits of trash, spilled drink, and scuff marks on the floor with distaste. There was something about spit-polishing a place just so that guests could come and muck it all up again that disgusted Stasis.
“Well…that was fun, eh?” asked a still-pale Star Swirl, whose hat even looked floppier than usual after his wild disgorgement of magic.
“Delightful,” answered Jack, who somehow had managed to eat half the sandwich slices by himself despite being easily the gauntest pony there. “The ensorcelled child who spoke in perfect iambic pentameter…truly, that was a wonder to behold!”
“I don’t know about the parents, but the children loved it,” said Major’s dad. “It was certainly the most exciting party that any of us have ever been to, I’m sure.”
“It was great! I want to be an adult forever!” said Major.
Goldie just squealed happily as she fluttered into bookshelves and tables, enjoying her new alien appendages.
“I’ve got good news, and I’ve got bad news,” announced Stasis, walking up wearily to the adult ponies.
A bushy eyebrow was cocked. “Oh? And what’s that?”
Stasis sighed. “Well, on one hoof, I’m pretty much doing everypony’s homework for the next year. On the other hoof, I’m about to come into a lot of money.”
“That is depressing,” Star Swirl agreed.
“What I can’t decide is…should I just blow it all at once, or save it for something special later?” Stasis had learned a lot about economics in the months that he had lived with the ponies. Particularly, you often needed money if you wanted to convince others to give you theirs. And if he ever wanted to build Stasisgrad, he was definitely going to need financing.
“Ah, the quandaries of youth…” mused Jack.
Star Swirl looked about the now-vacuous room carefully. “Everypony out? Nopony hiding in the kitchen or passed out in the water closet?”
“I think it’s just us, Mr. Swirl. Everypony looked quite worn out by the…festivities,” said Major’s dad.
“Oh? Well, now that you mention it, so am I. Why don’t you take your boy on home, Pusher. Stasis and I’ll clean up the mess later.”
Major’s dad smiled and nodded. “Alright. Thank you for such a wonderful party, Mr. Swirl.” Turning to the bewitched adult beside him, he said, “Come on, Major. I think your mother’s had more than enough peace and quiet for one day.”
“Thanks for the party, Mr. Swirl! It was great!” announced Major. “Hey, Goldie. Do you want us to drop you off at your house?”
“Okay,” agreed the little pegapony. “I want to try flying outside, anyway. I want to show Mr. Top-hat what Trottingham looks like from way up high.”
“Eh…you’d probably best stay close to the ground, lass,” Star Swirl warned. “Never know exactly when the spell’s going to start wearing off. Also, avoid wind, rain, and direct sunlight. And definitely don’t nibble on the wings; magic doesn’t taste as good as it looks, trust me.”
Stasis nodded in agreement. The first time he’d tasted a rainbow was, incidentally, the last.
“If I’m careful, can you give me wings another time later on, Mr. Swirl?” asked Goldie.
“Eh…ask me again after I’ve had a nap.”
“See you tomorrow at rehearsal, Stasis! Congratulations on getting your cutie-mark!” shouted Major as the three ponies went out by the front door.
Stasis waved until the door shut behind them, then sighed. Major may be his friend these days, but right now, the little changeling wanted nothing so much as a chance to rest. Even a geezerly nap like Star Swirl’s was sounding pretty good.
The aforementioned wizard was in the process of staring at Jack. Jack was staring back.
“Well?” asked Star Swirl.
“Yes?” responded Jack, chewing on a piece of celery.
“Everypony else’s already left. I don’t reckon that gives you any ideas now, does it, Jack?”
“It suggests to me that the masses clearly do not enjoy your fetes as much as do I, Oh Bearded One.”
After a few moments, Star Swirl glanced over at the snack table. With a sigh, he used his magic to pile the remaining scraps of food together on one platter and levitate it over to the unkempt earthpony.
“Jack, would you do me a favor? Would you toss these out for me?”
“I would be delighted, of course. It’s the least I can do in exchange for that wonderful legerdemain earlier,” Jack said as he took the platter in his mouth and headed for the door.
“It’s magic, you jackanapes. And bring that plate back when you’re done with it, you hear?” Star Swirl called out, as the front door shut once more.
Stasis looked back and forth between the door and Star Swirl for a few moments, puzzled. “Do you two know each other?” 
“All old ponies know each other,” Star Swirl muttered under his breath. “Reckoned you knew that by now.”
Stasis hadn’t known that, actually. It raised more questions than it answered.
“So,” said Star Swirl, looking down at the little changeling, “tell me the truth. What did you think of the party? It’s my first, so go easy.”
“I loved it!” Stasis declared. “I’d never even heard of those games we played, and I don’t think my mother herself could do as much magic as you can, and I’ve never had a chance to dance with a filly and her doll before. But the food was terrible. Party food is supposed to be good, I thought, but yours was terrible.”
Star Swirl laughed. “Is that so? And do you think you would have enjoyed the games and the dancing and the magic as much if you’d been stuffed to the gills with candy and cake and chocolate?”
“Well, I don’t know,” Stasis reproached the old pony. “That’s why we should have experimented.”
“Got me there, lad,” Star swirl said, his eyes a-twinkle. “But just because everypony’s gone home, well, that doesn’t mean that the party has to stop, does it?”
“It doesn’t?” Stasis questioned. The minutiae of partying still escaped him.
“Nope.” The wizard trotted into the kitchen, and returned a moment later bearing a platter similar to the one Jack had taken. On it were prismatic cubes, with clear outsides but swirling liquid insides, the blues and reds and greens and other colors arranged like a rainbow across the plate.
“What is that?” Stasis asked, eyes wide. The faint smell of the cubes was sweet and sugary.
“Nature’s candy,” Star Swirl explained, smiling. “Crystal berries I had shipped in by Pegasus Express, straight from the far north. Not the hybrids they cultivate nowadays, either; these have to be grown in frozen caves over years before they’re ready. Make a fine wine, too, if you’re into that sort of thing.”
“Can I eat them?” asked Stasis, who was feeling voraciously, vacuously hungry right at that moment.
Star Swirl set the platter down on the snack table and smiled. “Happy cute-ceanara, lad.”