#8.5 - Back From the Dead
So this is how Chris talks to you people, huh? Cool. I guess this is some sort of blog or something. Very good way to express feelings or some shit like that.
But, yeah, I was never dead. It's like what Ripper said, I was in the Abyss for a whole year and I thought I was never going to get out. So, Ripper, thank you very much. I thought I was going to go insane. I actually was going to, but then he came along and got me.
So yeah, I come back and see that Chris is in a coma. It's heart breaking to see my best friend like this. I never wanted him to get involved, but apparently he has been for a very long time, so my sacrifice was useless after all.
Yes, this is John. Chris won't wake up and I can't help but feel that this is my fault. If I have never met him, then he wouldn't have been involved in my situation. Then again, I think it would have been inevitable either way because it turns out that his dad was stalked by Ripper back when he was brainwashed. If his dad was stalked by the Administrator, then Chris would have been next.
But enough about that, let's talk about me. Well, other than being in complete darkness for a whole year, I'm doing alright. I can finally walk into sunlight and feel its warmth on my skin. It feel really good. Oh and I saw Elizabeth; my best friend. She was literally crying her eyes out when she saw me. We spent that day catching up, even thought there wasn't that much to catch up on because it turns out that she was captured by the Administrator and was sent to the Dark World to suffer. However, it is nowhere near as bad as what I had to go through in the Abyss.
All you would hear is the sound of agony. That's right, I had to go through hearing the sound of screaming children/fillies, women/mares, men/stallions. All kinds of horror. I was alone. I wasn't beaten or anything like that, but I was isolated from the rest of the world. I was literally alone. Nobody/nopony was there to comfort me. I had to lay there and listen to the millions of screams and that still doesn't leave my mind. I still have nightmares about it. It's going to haunt me for the rest of my life. I was laying there, calling for Chris and Elizabeth, but they never came. I knew they wouldn't, but I still found myself just screaming their names while I was down there in the dark. I was crying the whole time. I never got hungry or thirsty, which didn't bother me at all. At least they wouldn't do something like that. Oh wait, they would, but they decided to go easy on me I guess because I was special. I know I am. I know everything about the Administrator's group and proxies. I know everything about them and they didn't want me to expose their secrets to anybody/anypony, so they sent me here when the Administrator was about to kill me. Honestly, I was begging for death, but they never granted it to me. Death would be peaceful and it would end my suffering. It would end the emotional pain I have had all my life.
It was a good thing that Elizabeth is here, though. Why? Other than Chris, she's the only person that I could cry to and a lot of tears were dropped because of this whole ordeal. You can't really blame me or Chris for doing so. I have never seen Chris cry, but I know he has to have done so because if it was you that was in my situation, then you would probably be crying just as much as I am. When I saw Elizabeth, I was crying and I cried for two hours. I cried even more when I saw Chris sleeping. The doctors actually told me that they were thinking about pulling the plug on him. I told them to fuck off. There is no way I will ever let them pull the plug on Chris like that. Even Chris would probably be saying the same thing if that was me laying on that bed. Chris is like my brother and Elizabeth is like my sister. They both mean a lot to me and I would do anything to protect them both and that is a promise to all of you out there. I will never let those fuckers and the Administrator get them. That tall fucker already took Elizabeth, but there is no way I am letting Chris be taken and there is no way I'm letting him put me back down there because I actually know how to stop this thing once and for all.
My Plans
I'm going to rest for a while and spend some time with Chris and Elizabeth. I know Chris can hear me because his hand would tighten every time I would hold his hand. He knows I'm here and I even see a little tear come out of his left eye. I keep telling him that he won't have to suffer like this anymore and that I will wake him up, which I will and I will do it trying my very hardest.
Ripper told me that there is a location that Chris went to and that he wants me to go there; Ponyville. He told me that there is an old house that nopony hasn't lived in for fifty years and that there is a very magical stone that could really upgrade Elizabeth's protection and security.
Then, after I get the stone and bring it to Ripper, he wants me to go back to the Everfree Forest to see if Zecora will be able to help. I doubt it. I already checked there. She wasn't there. The door was opened, but I didn't check what was inside because I just didn't think that there would be anything important in there. Obviously there is if Ripper wants me to go there. This seems a little off to me. Even if I go there, what good would it do? She could be dead for all I know and even if she was alive, I don't think she would want to be part of anything if it involved the Administrator. I know she's seen it before because she lives in the fucking forest all alone with nopony there for help. I don't know, but I guess it's worth a shot, but if I find out that she's been dead for a whole year and that there is nothing important there, I'm seriously going to fucking flip out. In fact, if whatever is there, why can't he get it? Maybe she has some sort of spell or object that keeps the Administrator and his proxies away from her. I don't know. I'm just making guesses.
I don't know what I will do after that. I'll just have to wait and see what Ripper wants to do next.
Message to The Collector
After all these years, you decide to show yourself again. You say you're going to show what darkness truly is? I doubt it. I have already had my fair share of darkness and I have seen what darkness truly is, so what do you got that will make tremble in fear, huh? I don't fear anything anymore, especially not you. You may have scared me when I was a child, but not this time. I don't fear you, Jack, or the Administrator. There is nothing you can do that will make me feel fear. Fear is a disease and you think that I will be infected by it again? Yeah, I don't think so.
Worse than Hell, huh? Do you even know what Hell really is? I have seen it myself. It's not very pleasant. I have experienced death before and that was a long time ago, way before I came here to Equestria. I have experienced a shit load of things in my life, so what makes you think that you are special? What makes you think that "your world" will be worse than Hell itself.
I'll be waiting for you too, but I won't be going back to the darkness because I've had enough with it. You can go fuck yourself sideways, Collector.
This is John, signing off. Chris will wake up, guys. Just have hope.