//------------------------------//
// Chapter 8 
// Story: Behind Closed Doors 
// by OrphiusOlyandra 
//------------------------------//




Bumbling Bird Breaks Bar


Gilda Gryphon, the current ‘bad girl’ of the Canterlot social scene, made another pathetically shallow grab for attention just last night, by starting a brawl in a local gryphon watering hole. The Sun’s Concord, generally recognised as a lower class drinking hole, played host to Equestria’s newest source of scandal, the feathered feline known for her ‘bad girl’ attitude and dirty mouth.

After exploding into the popular conscious after an endorsement from Princess Luna herself, Gilda spent most of the time since then trying to play out the role of some butch badass ex-criminal type. In one of her more pathetically obvious attempts at getting attention while desperately trying to seem like she was avoiding it, Gilda started a fight with an innocent bystander. Being caught completely off guard, the victim succumbed to one or two punches, before she fled from the scene in fear of any actual violence happening.

Former guard sergeant and military consultant Rock Hard had this to say:

“That gryphon? Please. If you’ve seen everything I have, you learn to recognise your garden variety punks like that. She acts all tough, showing off her scars, and shoving everypony arounds, but the truth is she’s probably as meek as a kitten when out of the public eye. Some gryphon females are like that, they learn some basic moves from some martial art and suddenly think they’re an action hero, out to take on the world. Any guard worth his salt would put that idiot down in three seconds if she had the guts to try anything more than petty assault or shop lifting or whatever nonsense gryphon hijinks she gets up to.”

All this reporter can say, is this display proves she’s not as racist towards ponies as her previous actions might suggest. She doesn’t just mistreat innocent mares and stallions, she mistreats all sentients equally.









One step. All it took was one single step and then... something. I don’t know what, but it was something, and I wasn’t about to be picky. Still, that one step proved to be impossible. Well, more like three steps... maybe ten. Or twenty. Regardless, it was right there for me to take up, but I just couldn’t do it. I wanted to blame it on the buzzing in the back of my mind, that constant pressure telling me to do something, but it wasn’t.  

What other choice did I have though? Dead was dead was dead was dead. Though being dead would actually be an improvement if it wasn’t for the whole deadness thing. I kinda like living, rather attached to it, if truth must be told.

So why was I here? Why had I been standing here for hours on end, ever since last night? Because I was scared. It’s such a strange emotion, being scared. First emotion I ever felt that wasn’t stolen, and it felt so weird. Emotions were strong things, evil things, things that changelings should never experience, things that would destroy us.

Hidden from the rain, under some small balcony, I stared at my trembling foreleg as a chuckle escaped. How did creatures function with all these emotions all the time? I could barely stand, let alone walk, and the mere thought of taking that first step was enough paralyze me completely. If this was joy or sadness, I would be dead by now. 

Fear, true fear. It was the most delicious thing I had ever tasted, it made me crave for more. But more importantly, I wondered how freedom would taste. Sweeter than joy, hotter than anger, with that smooth finish that only ever came from pride. Maybe this was how food tasted. If so, I could understand why some ate so much.

Another laugh escaped.

Surely, something so divine was hubris of the greatest order. It was probably what th-

“Ma’am, are you okay?” A voice asked from over my shoulder, making me jump. I turned around and faced Eclipse , who was watching me with a concerned look. “You’ve been standing here for some time. Are you lost?”

“Merely lost in thought,” I replied. “What’s it like to be nightkin?”

He blinked in surprise at my answer, before frowning at me worriedly. “Are you sure you’re okay? You sound... bleak. Is there something I can help with?”

“Just contemplating becoming a nightkin. Dig the wings and fangs, and if the shadow powers are true, totally sweet deal in my opinion.”

“...There are other things to consider,” he said after a moment. “Reactions from other ponies tend to vary. Generally though, it’s morbid fascination or outright disgust.” He stepped next to me, and hesitantly put a hoof on my shoulder. “Are you sure I can’t help in some way?”

After a moment’s hesitation, I said, “Unless you can get me an interview with Luna, then no.”

He frowned at me, “And why do you want to become a nightkin? It’s not a decision to be made lightly.”

“It’s my decision, and it has been thought out. Trust me on this.”

“Aside from you avoiding the question of ‘why’, Celestia has imposed limits on who can and cannot become nightkin. Unless you’re a part of the military, I’m not sure getting an interview with Luna will help you at all.”

“Then you don’t know me very well do you?” I grinned up at him. “I could kick your flank.”

“It’s not a matter of experience and skill, it’s a matter of trust. At the moment there are only twenty nightkin and our image is important. We’re expected to be professional, polite, and effective at all times. If we’re not, there’s a good chance that we will be that last nightkin to ever exist.”

“You sound all dramatic and serious. Lighten up will you? We need the public on our side and what better way to do it than to be fun loving?”

“‘Our’?” He raised an eyebrow. “You make it sound like you’re already one of us.”

“See? Effective recruitment right there.Plus, we’re all ponies right?  Gotta stick together.” I threw a leg around his neck and pulled him close.

An amused smile touched his lips. “Applications for the nightkin are open, but not many positions are. Even if you do talk to Luna, there’s no guarantee you’ll be accepted.”

“Watch me knock ‘em dead. By this time tomorrow, I’ll be chilling in the barracks.”

“I would bet against that claim,” he replied dryly.

“Whatever you say, bats. Now, show me the way? Never been in the palace before.” Laughing, I ran out in the rain and grinned back at him. “Come on, what happened to the whole getting chummy with citizens thing? Rack up some points willya?”

He seemed amused more than anything. After a moment, he shook his head and walked down the street. “Come, if Luna isn’t busy she might have time for you.”

“See? Fun.” I shook my mane out, enjoying the feeling of the water dripping off it. “You just need to relax more.”

He wiped the water from his face before giving me a flat look. “You don’t know DJ Pon-3, by any chance? Close sister, perhaps?”

“Nope.” I stuck out my tongue. “Enjoying fun does not automatically make me her sister, you know. Normal ponies can enjoy fun too.”

“The nightkin aren’t normal,” he replied solemnly. “I have my ‘fun’ when I’m off duty, and only in reasoned carefully considered portions .”

“Please stop, I think you’re going to make me throw up. Duty is all nice and well, but relaxation is always great and necessary.” I skipped up to the gate, and waved at the guards there. “Come on, smile a little!”

“I suppose the nightkin could use a clown.” He smirked at me as he passed.

“See? That’s what I’m talking about! Now come on, it’s not every day I get to talk to a princess.” Taking the steps two at a time, I stopped in front of the large double doors. “Come on slow poke.”

“Luna may be busy, or uninterested.” He didn’t speed up in the slightest, just continued his steady trot up the stairs. “There’s no guarantee you’re even going to see her.”

“Come on, have a bit of hope.”

“As Luna once told me: ‘hope is no plan’,” he replied over his shoulder, leading me up a flight of stairs, and into another corridor.

“Talk about depressing.”

“I rather like it. It means there’s no point in hoping for things to turn out for the best, when you could be working to make the best happen.”

“So boring. Which is probably worse,” I chuckled before cocking an eyebrow at me. “So am I going to have to walk through the palace dripping wet or are you going to show me to a bathroom so I can dry off?”

“Well, I suppose I could, but it would amuse me more to present you to Luna as you are now. What was it you said to me? I need to ‘lighten up’?”

“Sure it’s not because you want to ogle me some more? ” I grinned at his reaction as I trotted past. “Aren’t mares with wet manes a thing? Maybe I’m behind, but I’m certain it still is.”

He rolled his eyes, and pointed at a door down another corridor. “Bathrooms are in there. You can groom yourself if you like.”

“Party pooper.” I trotted past, deliberately swaying my hips as payback before slipping into the bathroom. Once I was in a stall, all it took was a burst of magic for me to remove all the water. Making sure to check my appearance in the mirror, I was out of there within the minute and grinned at his surprised expression. “Surprised a mare can be fast?”

“I’ve never known a lady to groom so quickly, no. If I recall, my old marefriend would rarely take less than twenty minutes to prepare for anything,” he replied, before turning away. “Come along.”

“What can I say? I’m just that good.” With him leading the way, I happily trotted behind him, my heart hammering away as I tried to come to grips with what I was doing.

He didn’t reply, and led me up one more flight of stairs, down another corridor, and to a surprisingly plain set of double doors with a crescent moon printed on the front. “Are you ready?” he asked me over his shoulder.

“Better now than ever.” I walked forward and stood beside him. “I suggest you run while you still can, this will not be happy.”

He raised an eyebrow at me, before he knocked on the door and said, “Princess Luna? Do you have a moment?”

“Ah, Eclipse, what may We help thee with?” The door creaked open revealing a boringly plain room. No bed was in sight, so maybe a study of some kind? Still, I expected something large and gaudy and impressive, not this.

“Nothing too important, You Highness,” he answered with a bow and a salute, and waved a hoof at me. “Just an applicant for the nightkin. We get few enough of those as it is, and I thought it might be entertaining if nothing else. Unless you’re busy of course.” His eyes were lowered and his wings were flat against his back.

“Entertainment is not what the process is about. Though it used to be far more entertaining back when it was first invented , but that is neither here nor there We fear.” Luna set down her glasses and peered at me. “So thou wish to become a nightkin?”

“Yes.” I took a step forward and dropped my disguise. “I want freedom, and this is the only way to get it.”

To my surprise, Luna didn’t even blink as she looked down at me. “Eclipse, please get Celly for us.”

Eclipse just stared at me, jaw on the floor, too shocked to respond.

“Eclipse. Now,” snapped Luna with a flick of her hoof.

That snapped him out of it. With a shake of his head, he spread his wings and turned away to fly down the corridor.

“So...” Luna examined her hoof. “Give us one reason why We should not destroy you right now. Especially since changelings were responsible for what happened in the Gryphon Kingdom.”

“Well you’re the Goddess of the Night, right? Patron to all performers, wanderers and forsaken creatures? Those ostracised and tossed aside, turned into nightmares for society.” It was impossible to read Luna’s reaction to my words. “But regardless, I want out. When changelings were transformed they broke free from the hive mind, from Chrysalis, and I want that. Ponies... friends I know are in danger because of me and as long as I’m around they’ll always be in danger. If I were changed, I vanished off the grid, never to be heard from again, they’d be safe.”

"And why should We believe thy words?”

“You can read my mind if you want,” I offered. “I’ll let you lead me around on a leash. I don’t care as long as I’m free.”

Just then there was a flash or bright light, and a popping sound as Celestia appeared to our right. She glanced at me, her gaze unreadable, before she looked back to Luna. “Sister,” she nodded in greeting. “Why is there a changeling in the palace?”

“A potential ally,” replied Luna, eyes never leaving me for a second. “A changeling who wishes to defect.”

Celestia looked towards me interestedly. “Changelings are all connected to a queen, defecting is impossible.”

“Not necessarily. The Gryphon Kingdom proved otherwise,” replied Luna.

“As an unstable, hive that harvested the minds of unprotected sentients and threatened to overrun... more or less everywhere.” Celestia replied pointedly. “The idea of that concerns me even more than simply having her spy on us and report our actions to Chrysalis. I presume it’s a she.”

“Gender neutral,” I said, only to immediately regret it as Celestia glared down at me.

“Regardless, the changeling has agreed to submit its mind if we so desire it,” said Luna. “Personally, We find the proposition before us rather intriguing. It could be the break we have been hoping for.”

“Or it could be a gift wrapped trap,” Celestia stared at me for a moment, then looked back to Luna. “So you suspect the ritual would separate her from the hive mind? What side effects would it have?”

“With a bit of alternations? Very little. Perhaps empathetic bonds and a mild influence on the emotions of others, but nothing that would cause concern. The chemicals used back then were less than ideal for changeling biology.”

“The entire ritual concerns me. Some minor tweaking you say? The ritual was designed for ponies, and I’ve yet to meet a nightkin that didn’t eventually become deranged.  Are you sure you can guess what effect it would have on a changeling? We wouldn’t want a repeat of what happened in the Kingdom here in Canterlot. We wouldn’t want a repeat of what happened there anywhere at all.”

“Please, that required hundreds, neigh, thousands of changelings acting as one in order to overcome us.” Luna turned her gaze back to me and I suddenly felt as though I was a slab of meat. “You make it sound as though I’ve never experimented on changelings. Viable, but difficult.”

Celestia frowned in thought. “Even so, what’s to say it won’t defect again at the nearest opportunity? Loyalty lacks in any who turn their backs on their own people.”

“The simplest solution is mind magic.”

“I detest the use of mind magic,” Celestia replied. “But I suppose in this case it would appear necessary. Why do you betray your kin?” she asked me directly.

“Because I don’t want to hurt my friends,” I whispered. “They’re ponies and... well... I just want out.”

“And who are your friends?” Celestia asked.

“You-you won’t hurt them will you?” I hated how my voice sounded so weak.

Celestia appeared surprised by how genuine I sounded. “We don’t harm innocent ponies,” she said after a moment. “If they’ve committed no crime, they’ll face no punishment, and even so, the worst they face is imprisonment.”

At first I felt like lying, saying other name to get them out of it, but one look from Celestia and I felt myself shrinking back. “Well... um... Vinyl and Octavia mainly...”

Celestia blinked in surprise, before repeating, “‘Mainly’?”

“Well, I, er, I’ve been hanging out with Rainbow Dash and Gilda recently...?” I swallowed and chittered nervously. “Gilda was kinda on orders, but she’s cool.”

“Does that cub exist purely to give me headaches?” Celestia huffed in exasperation and gave Luna a flat look. “And while we’re on the subject of your nightkin compromising security, your nightkin just led a changeling right through the palace to your doors.”

“Last We recall, the Lunar Guard are still a force in training, with less than a hundred members and primary defensive measures are still held by the Solar Guard.” Luna looked at her sister with an arched brow. 

Celestia didn’t react immediately, but after a moment she sighed and conceded, “A reasoned point.” After a moment, she looked back at me. “So, what do you wish to do with this, then?”

“I just want out,” I said slowly. “To be free, to do what I want because I want to and not because a pressure in the back of my head will eventually force me to. I want freedom.”

“Ponies tend to take freedom for granted these days. They often forget how much what they’re asking for is actually worth,” Celestia answered me coolly.

“You don’t know what you have until you’ve lost it,” I said flatly.

“And yet you never had it to begin with,” Celestia replied. “If you want freedom, what do you have to earn it?”

“What do you want for it?” I countered.

“The long and short of it is more or less ‘your life’. We suspect Chrysalis is planning something, and I doubt she would tell you what it is, however, a changeling can still be extremely useful. If we were to break you free of the hive mind and give you the freedom you want, many of your freedoms would have to be sacrificed. You’d be sworn to us, loyal to us... you’d be our soldier. Soldiers follow orders.”

“Better than being a soldier under Chrysalis,” I muttered before speaking up, “and all I know is that I’ve been told to get close to Gilda. That’s it. Oh, and to keep speaking publicly about equal rights and all that jazz, but hey, I would have done that for free.”

“That’s all?” Celestia said, sounding disbelieving. “You have no more information to offer than that?”

“Well I have also snuck a couple of changelings into Canterlot, and Chrysalis is in the city last I heard.”

“Yes, We are well aware of this fact,” said Luna with a small smile. “We are Mistress of the Night, and all is under our domain. Do thou have nothing more specific?”

“Um...” My legs rubbed together nervously and my wing shifted. “Maybe?”

“In other words, no,” Celestia said dryly.

“Hey! This counts as good faith right?” I was not pleading, I did not plead. “I mean, I gave you all my information without asking anything in return. In fact, I could give you names! Changelings I know who are higher up than me who would know things.”

“Now we’re getting somewhere.” Celestia smiled. “How many?”

“The one directly above me will be in charge of at least a dozen operatives and would probably have contact with other district head honchos. There is a second one that’s meant to be a backup in case the first gets caught and we have an emergency message system if things go south.” I licked my dry lips. “And there is apparently an emergency shelter somewhere just outside Canterlot.”

Celestia nodded after a moment. “That satisfies me of your worth. They have a safe house so close? Interesting. Luna? Anything else you feel the need to ask? I’m more or less sated that with careful management, this little changeling could be worth the effort.”

“Tell us, are there many that share thy views?” asked Luna.

“Well, er, if another changeling knows you want to run away, all changelings know, and if they all know then Chrysalis knows, and if she knows... well... things won’t end well. There may be, but it’s impossible to know.”

“Curious and curiouser,” mused Luna. “Sister, We have a proposition for you later tonight.”

“I swear, Luna, if you’re thinking of converting changelings to nightkin en masse...”

“Please sister, have some faith.”

“Very well then, sister, we can discuss this later,” she glanced at me, then back to Luna. “I assume you can take care of this for now?”

“Are you certain of your trust in us?” smirked Luna.

“You can joke about trust when we’re not still dealing with the fallout of the experiments you did a thousand years ago,” Celestia replied candidly and trotted away.

“Thou art merely jealous.” She turned her attention back to me. “Now, first things first, thou will be confined to the dungeon. It should disrupt the mental connection to thy queen.”

I kept my mouth shut just in case she decided to throw me somewhere worse.

“Now, where art thou?” I scrambled back as her shadow rose up before her, forming a circle in the air. Then the surface seemed to shimmer and Eclipse’s face appeared. “Eclipse, please escort our guest to the dungeon. A cell that is comfortable, if you could.”

“As you wish, Princess,” Eclipse’s face replied and bobbed down as if he was bowing. “I’ll be there right away.”

The portal snapped and I whistled. “Damn, that is awesome.”

“Mere parlor tricks.” Her eyes flicked towards me. “There are far greater tools at our disposal.”

Just then Eclipse stepped out of the shadow of an ornamental vase. He immediately dropped into a bow before Luna. “Princess.”

“Awe. Some.” My wings fluttered despite my best attempts to stop it. “Seriously, anything else you can do with that? Like, I dunno, shadow swords? Shadow swords would be awesome. How about a cape? Capes make everything better. Oh! Oh! I know! I kn-”

“Silence.” Though it was spoken normally, my mouth snapped shut and I shrank back slightly. “Eclipse, please escort it to a furnished dungeon, in disguise; its presence is to be kept secret.”

The black and blue unicorn disguise was slapped on in the blink of an eye.

“Come,” Eclipse said to me, his expression deliberately neutral. With another nod to the princess, he turned away and led me down the corridor back the way we first came.

“Eclipse, it will likely be your new partner, so play nice,” Luna called after us and Eclipse stiffened like he’d been bitten.

After a moment, he scowled and continued down the stairs. “Come along then,” he said back to me.

“Oh come on, you’re even more boring now! Relax a bit,” I said as I skipped in front of him and began walking backwards. “Didn’t you hear? We could be partners.”

“And yet I don’t even know your name,” he replied cooly. “Do changelings even have names?”

“It’s SC0619.” My eyes narrowed. “And don’t even think about saying it’s not a name. It’s a great name.”

“It’s a serial number. I have a serial number too, NK 0002,” he glanced across at me. “If we’re to be partners, I need something I can refer to you in shorthand.”

“SC then. I dunno, but not names, and definitely not Bluey,” I muttered. “And NK0002 is a great name, don’t know why you don’t want it.”

“It’s not a name, just a designation and numeral. NK, nightkin, zero-zero-zero-two. Literally, it means ‘nightkin number two’. Nopony would want that as a name.”

“Oooooooh, that explains a lot.” I ran a hoof through my mane. “We work for our names. The lower our number, the closer we are to the top, and our positions have a hierarchy. Huh. That really explains why ponies get all annoyed about my name.”

We took another set of stairs down, and we came to a halt at the bottom in front a closed door. “After you, Bluey,” he told me, holding the door open.

I scowled. “That is not my name!” For added measure, I threw my most hate filled glare at him and deliberately did not go through the door.

“Seems as fine a name as any, and you suggested it,” he replied, clearly enjoying my reaction. “And Princess Luna made it clear she doesn’t want anyone knowing we have a changeling running through the palace. You need a pony name anyway.”

My scowl deepened. “Names are a big deal, okay? You only get a name if you fuck up royally or do something truly great. No. Name.”

“Well, you just defected,” he pointed out. “So in short, you did indeed ‘fuck up’.”

“Oh, sure, kick me while I’m down,” I muttered as I shoved past him. “Fuck you too.”

He followed after me in silence for a moment, before he sighed and said, “My apologies. That was unduly harsh.”

“Yes. It was. Tell me, do you treat all the mares like this?”

“You’re not really a mare,” he pointed out flatly. “And no, I don’t. The last mare that flirted with me was DJ Pon-3, which I suspect was actually you. ”

“No comment.” I smiled cheekily and skipped into the room, glancing around and blinking in surprise at the fact that it actually looked like a high class hotel room. “Damn, this is the dungeon? I like it.”

He ignored my comment as he drew the door shut, and turned to sit on a bench. “And before that, there was a mare who pickpocketed me. She behaved almost exactly like you, in fact. Any chance I’ll be seeing those bits again?”

“Sorry, they’ve been spent already.” I sighed and flopped onto the bed. “And damn, I must be losing my touch. You’re not meant to be able to make connections so easily when we’re in disguise. New persona and all that.”

“You didn’t exactly adopt much of a new persona.”

“Yeeeeeaaaaah, must be losing my touch. Damn, I used to be great at it too.”

“So, if it’s not classified information, mind informing me on some of the details on the bargain you’ve struck with the princesses?”

“My, my, my, someone’s curious. Maybe I’ll tell you if you work for it,” I said with a wink before groaning and slamming my head against the bed. “Bloody Tartarus, please ignore that.”

“Now that I know you’re actually an insect, any advances you make are more concerning than appealing.”

“No comment. I’m afraid if I say anything my mouth will run away with me again. Mind if I feed on you? Maybe someone else’s emotions will stabilize me for a while.” I looked at him hopefully before sighing. “No? Damn.”

“Luna mentioned you’re to be my partner, what does that mean exactly? Am I going to be your handler, or does she actually intend to make you part of the guard, or does she want to disguise what you actually are by pretending to partner you with me?”

“It’s part of the surprise.” My impish grin was back full force as my tail swished behind me. “Why? Looking forward to finally being around a female for once?”

“You’re genderless.”

“Hey, you were the one talking about adopting pony terms.”

“And you’re the one that’s trying to flirt with me.” He shook his head. “I any case, I suppose now is the time for you to choose an identity for yourself. If you wish to be a mare, then why not? I still won-”

“Hey, were you always called Eclipse?”

He closed his mouth, before answering, “That’s irrelevant. As I was-”

“It’s a legit question! I’ve always wondered about how a pony name just fits so perfectly with their cutie mark and personality. I mean, if you were always called Eclipse, does that mean you were meant to be a nightkin?” I tilted my head to the side. “Actually, what is your cutie mark anyways?”

After a moment, he shrugged and showed me his cutie mark, a heart made of stone. “My birth name wasn’t Eclipse, it was Heart Stopper. I changed it because it was ridiculous , and Eclipse seemed fitting for a nightkin.”

“Heart Stopper? That’s kinda... morbid.” I shuffled to the edge of the bed and peered at it. “And your special talent is...?”

“Logical thought, or rather, the ability to make decisions without taking emotions into account.”

“That’s... kinda cool yet depressing. I mean, you’re talking to a someone who was told feeling emotion is a bad thing, and even I find that sad.” 

“Just because I can choose to ignore my feelings, doesn’t mean I don’t have them,” he replied calmly. “I am capable of making decisions for emotional reasons, for example when it comes to personal relationships or when I decided to help you.”

“Oh. Good. For a second there I thought you’d taste worse than Blueblood.” A small, nervous chuckle escaped. “Now that was something worthy of being named, though whether it’s for doing something stupid or brave is another matter entirely. Ever want to see a changeling get food poisoning? Just make ‘em feed on Blueblood.”

“Yes, he is quite a detestable character. He’s filed more complaints about nightkin than any four other ponies combined. Things like a ‘disrespectful conduct’ or ‘threatening behaviors.”

“Sounds like the idiot,” I said.

“Oh trust me, if Luna is intending to use you for what I suspect, you’ll have plenty of time to get to know him.”

A shudder ran down my spine. “Can I run away now?”

He chuckled at me and shook his head, “No. You’re either fully committed to this, or you’re dead. After you’ve had every last thought you ever head ripped from you head.”

“If I stick around, Chrysalis will actually do that. Maybe. I think she has in the past, at least.” I gulped. “She could probably melt my mind if she tried.”

“From a distance?”

“Probably. Like I said, I wanted out.”

“If she’s connected to you, why hasn’t she done it already? It seems prudent to kill you before you can share any secrets.”

“She’s busy. Try communicating with thousands and thousands of changelings all at once. I get a fraction of that connection and it’s impossible for me to track one percent of what I have.”

“How do you plan on breaking that connection? Will there be side effects?”

“State secret,” I replied with a grin.

“It involves the nightkin ritual, doesn’t it?” he asked. “You were asking me about it earlier.”

“Nah, I just find the whole look awesome.”

“Uh huh, sure,” he replied dryly. “I’m not completely foolish. You want to be disconnected from the hive, which, short of damaging mind magic, I would assume that means a serious adjustment of your entire form, including your natural magic. The only force I’m aware of that can do that without killing a pony—well, changeling in your case—is the nightkin ritual. Or perhaps a pure shot of the chemicals, though that leads to cannibalism, deformation, and insanity.”

“Lovely,” I muttered.

“I’m curious to see what effect it will have on a changeling. For your sake, I hope Luna knows what she’s doing.”

“That is not reassuring.”

“Well, rest assured, if something goes wrong I doubt Luna will permit your agony to last long.”

“That... is really not reassuring.”

“Would you like me to stroke your mane and coo in your ear while I promise absolutely nothing can go wrong? Because I’m afraid my cutie mark pertains to logic rather than emotional support.”

I bit down on my tongue. “Are you trying to make me flirt with you?”

He didn’t answer,he just stood up in lay down in the bed. “I’d recommend you sleep. The ritual is... rather draining.” A grin appeared on his muzzle but disappeared quickly. 

“Stop making me second guess, damn it!”

“Don’t worry, from my memory the ritual was extremely enjoyable.”

“And you’re telling ghost stories about it.”

“But then I suppose I am a pony, and the ritual was designed for us. According to Luna it was utter agony for gryphons, and gryphons have more in common with pony biology than changelings.”

“Fuck me.”

“The shadow powers are definitely cool though,” he conceded with a laugh, “And far easier to use than unicorn magic.”

“Really? ‘cause it looks super awesome.”

“But there is the risk that if you overuse it, your body slowly dissolves from the inside out, transforming into a thick black liquid that turns to smoke in a few moments, leaving no trace of your existence other than a dark stain.”

“You’re joking. You’ve got to be joking. That is a joke right? Tell me that was a joke.”

“And Celestia suspects that the ritual causes insanity and dementia. Have you ever read Curse of the Everfree?”

“You’re fucking with me.”

“Not at all. Celestia believes that Curse is what we’ll all eventually transform into. Deranged monsters from a foal’s horror story. Luna insists that’s not the case, but the nightkin have only been around for a year, so who knows what the long term effects are? The ritual was designed by Nightmare Moon after all.”

“You suck.” I threw a pillow at his face.

“If you haven’t, I suggest you read up on those stories. I found them rather educational, and it’s a good idea to distance yourself from the public perceptions of nightkin. You don’t want to accidently quote a line from one of those stories, unless you’re trying to creep a pony out.”

“I’m a changeling. Creeping ponies out is my job.”

“Not anymore it isn’t. Now your job will most likely be infiltrating the various political circles of Canterlot and combatting any influence Chrysalis and her changelings have.”

“You don’t know that. I could have been employed to turn you into someone ponies would actually want to hang around with.”

He laughed, and shook his head. “I plan on being an officer of the Guard. My intent isn’t to make friends, it’s to lead effectively.”

“Heh, what was it RD said? Something about loyalty and friends and leadership. Damn it, I probably shouldn’t have drunk so much.”

“RD? As in Rainbow Dash? So you were the one who got her hospitalised?”

“Technically, she was the one who decided to start a fight. I just got her drunk.”

“If you insist,” he commented dryly. “I find it interesting that she got hurt and you didn’t. Were you hiding under a table?”

“I’m just that good,” I smirked.

“The sparring ring is always open in the training yard, if you ever want to put your money where your mouth is.”

“Wouldn’t want to humiliate you in front of all your friends.”

“I’m an officer, or at least I want to be. Friends aren’t a concern.”

“Friends are always important. Plus, no one will respect you if you get beaten up by some random mare.”

“How considerate of you.”

“And your face is too pretty to bruise,” I chuckled.

“...Are you actually attracted to me?” he asked after a moment. “Or are you just trying to make me uncomfortable?”

“Eh, ask me when my emotions are in line. Changelings aren’t meant to feel emotions themselves and I haven’t fed in a while.”

“Well, that’s disturbing,” he muttered.

“We’re emotional parasites, what did you expect?” I sat up in the bed and cocked an eyebrow at him. “Roses and sunshine?”

“Well, I’d never thought of yours as truly sentient race before. I wasn’t really expecting anything.”

I rolled my eyes and dropped my disguise. “Well we’re sentient and emotions are apparently a killer for us.”

“And you claim my cutie mark is depressing.”

“Hey, this just means I’m coming from experience and expert knowledge.”

“An expertise on what is and isn’t depressing? Maybe you should pick a cutie mark like that for your persona.” He sounded like he was joking, but then he seemed to actually think about it. “Bluey could be a shortened version of something associated with blues and depression. ‘Bad Blues’? Something like that.”

“No names,” I said yet again.

“You’re going to need one,” he replied patiently. “You better get used to it.”

“Don’t care. I don’t need one now.”

“You’re in denial. You’ve betrayed your entire species, consequences are to be expected, getting a name will be the least of which.”

“Get out,” I hissed. “Just fucking get out of my room.”

“I’m to watch you until Luna relieves me of my duty,” he replied. “Beside which, I’m right, and you know it.”

“I don’t care. Get out or I’ll throw you out.”

“Just go to sleep,” he replied with a roll of his eyes. “Save your energy until you’ll actually need it.”

“Maybe I will once you leave. I don’t feel safe sleeping with you in the room.”

“What do you have to be afraid of?” he replied. “If we wanted harm to come to you, it already would have. Beside which, I consider myself a better stallion than to harm a sleeping mare.”

“So you admit I’m a mare?”

He shifted in annoyance, and ruffled his wings. “...If it helps you adjust, sure, I’m willing to treat you like a mare. You’re more feminine than masculine anyway.”

“Thank you.”

“Hey, we’re partners, right? It’s best to establish some form of working relationship, even if it is fun making you nervous.”

“Yeah, and you could pass as a female if you were in a skirt,” I spat back.

“Now I think that’s not true,” he grinned at me, “And you say I’m no fun. You’re very easy to wind up.”

I rolled my eyes and tossed another pillow at him. “And you’re stupid.”

“Oh the wit. I might need a bandage, I think I just cut myself on that razor-sharp come-back.” Even though he usually kept emotion out of his voice, somehow there was even less emotion when he was being sarcastic.

“Death by a thousand witty comments. You’ll go down in history forever.”

“Well, it’ll be nice to be remembered for something.”

“Harhar. You say that now.”

“Oh, I’m quivering with fear. Just promise there won’t be any collateral damage. I couldn’t stand it if an innocent was hurt.”

“Who knows, my wit is just that sharp.” I grabbed the pillows in my magic and brought them back to me. “Now turn around, I’m going to bed.”

“Good night, SC0619.”

“Amazing, you even remembered the numbers correctly.”

“It’s your real name. Even if you’re going to need another one, you should hold onto what matters to you.”

“Yeah...” A small smile touched my lips even as I whispered, “Thanks.”





Dear Adelina mother mum.

It’s me, Gilda your daughter, writing to you from Canterlot. Yes, I am writing you a letter that isn’t being written because you sent one to me first. Don’t make a big deal out of it. And no, Trixie isn’t making me write this either.*

I think you should leave the gryphon Kingdom. At the moment it looks like the Kingdom is going to break out into civil war, and we both know that more likely than not the Great Scars are gonna get knee deep in shit like they always do involved. There’s a good chance that Annibal Canyon is going to end up a battlefield sometime soon, and even though things are different these days, I wouldn’t put it past the White Beaks to try their claws at the looting and raping side of war again targeting civilians as well as military.

As your family,** I guess it’s my job I have to try to make sure you’re safe. I don’t want you in the Kingdom while all the tribes are going at it all out, and I’m pretty sure you don’t want to risk some dirty prick getting the jump on you staying behind either. I have some connections down here, so if you agree to it, I’m pretty sure I can get you a working visa as a teacher until the war dies down, probably longer if you want to move here permanently.

If you feel the same,  and you should because if you think this war will stay clear of you then  you’re an idiot, write back to me and I’ll hire some old friends of mine to escort you to Canterlot,*** or if you want you can find your own way down.

Trixie’s telling me I should include something personal in this shit letter, so how are you? Me andTrixie and I are fine down here. Well, not fine, but we’re doing better than we have been for a while. Trixie and I visited a decent restaurant the other day with a ton of murals all over the walls about history and mythology and shitstuff, which reminded me of that big trunk of books I had under my bed. Did you keep those after I left? I want to know if that old copy I have of Great Scars/Black Eyes Legends is still okay. It would mean a lot to me if you could mail it down or maybe bring it with you if you decide to come to Equestria.

I can’t think of anything else to write, other than hoping to hear back from you soon,
Yours,
Gilda.****


*Don’t listen to her, do you truly believe your daughter’s writing is this elegant?
** Trixie hopes you have not forgotten about her.
***Trixie also has some contacts she can draw upon if need be.
**** And Trixie.

I folded the letter up and slipped it into an envelope before I licked it shut, and turned to face Trixie.

“Did you really need to cross out so much of it?” I asked. “I mean, shouldn’t a letter from me sound like it’s from me?”

“Of course not, it is a letter to your mother after all,” said Trixie.

“That doesn’t make sense,” I muttered and stood up. “If it’s for my mother shouldn’t it seem like her daughter wrote it?”

“Oh yes, because filling it with obscenities is such a great idea,” chuckled Trixie.

“Yeah well,” I thought about it for a second before I shrugged and muttered, “I still think it’s my letter so I should write it the way I want. We didn’t need to say much more than ‘The Kingdom’s fucked, if you want you can crash with us till this all blows over’. That sounds more to the point to me.”

“It’s also a boring letter with no connection. She’s your mother!”

“Yeah, but it gets the point across and doesn’t sound all sappy and crap,” I grumbled. “I mean, I agreed to stay in contact with her, yeah, but I don’t want to hear about every guy she dates when she writes back. Come on, we shouldn’t be encouraging her to send us those weird packages, and I sure as heck don’t want to hear about everyone she thinks about marrying two or three dates in. It’s weird. And I seriously don’t need the images of my mum and dad like that.”

A flush touched Trixie’s cheek and she looked away. “If she sends any packages, Trixie is not opening them.”

“And she always hides the letter at the bottom so we have to dig all the way through whatever crap she sent us anyway. Honestly, with the way she’s acting it’s like she thinks I’m gonna get you pregnant with grandchildren or something. I can’t think of any other reason she’s so freaking interested in our sex life.”

“Don’t remind Trixie. She still does not want to think about that last package we received.” A shudder passed through her body. “You could beat off a robber with some of those things.”

“I’m not even sure it’s legal to own those in Equestria,” I shook my head and tucked the letter away along with some bits to pay for the stamps. “I’ll mail this on the way to my shrink.”. 

“Want Trixie to come with?” she asked.

“Fuck no,” I replied, before realising how harsh that sounded and quickly said, “I mean, if you come he might try to use you to get to me or something. Last time I was there he lied about Luna ordering a mind probe on you just to get a reaction from me. I don’t want you anywhere near those creeps.”

She looked at me worried, her mouth opening to say something only for her to close again. Though she immediately looked away, it was clear something was wrong.

“Trix?” I put my wing over her shoulder. “What are you thinking?”

Leaning into me, she kissed my neck lightly. “Nothing... It’s fine, it’s nothing.”

She thinks you’re a ticking time bomb. She’s right.

“Are you sure? Because for nothing it seems to have you pretty worried.”

“It’s fine. Just a stray thought.” She leaned up and kissed me tenderly. “How about I take the letter and you head off to your appointment?”

“Why? There’s a post office right on the way there. Sure, it’s further from here than the one on Gibs Street, but it’d still be easier for me to drop this off than for you to head the complete other way.”

“A-Alright.”

I blinked at her, and felt a worried churning in my stomach. “You were planning on adding something to the letter... weren’t you?”

“Of course not! Trixie would never go behind your back for anything,” she said with a glare.

My eyes flicked up and down, trying to read her. After a moment I sighed, “Alright, yeah sorry.”

Paranoid that your marefriend wants to hurt you too, now? How long before you snap and decide to make sure she can never hurt you again?

Gritting my jaw, I let out a deep breath to calm myself down, and held the letter out to Trixie. “You’re right. Why don’t you mail it? Gibs Street is just five minutes away, and maybe you could pick up something and I’ll make you dinner?”

“You sure? You can mail it if you want.”

“Nah, it’s no big deal. The mare at the post office always seems like she’s afraid of me anyway.” I shook the letter a bit. “Take it, I trust you.”

“O-Oh right.” She grabbed it in her magic and placed it on the table. “Anything in particular you want for dinner tonight?”

“Surprise me,” I answered her, putting my sunglasses on as I moved to the door. “I’ll be back later today, try not to burn the place down.”

“Ha! Trixie thinks you’ve got her confused with someone else. I am a culinary genius!”

“Eh, I’ve had better. Yours is alright,” I replied with a grin as I opened the door, “Bye, Trix,” I didn’t wait on her answer before I closed it behind me and walked upstairs to the roof.

The stairwell was finally free of those goddess damned reporters. They’d all seemed to realise there wasn’t a story coming out of here any time soon, and left to find something actually newsworthy. A few of them had wanted to ask me questions about what I’d said at the palace, but they’d been ignored enough to realise I wouldn’t answer any of their questions anytime soon.

When I got to the roof I spread my wings and threw myself into the air. I was sort of late for my appointment with my shrink, but fuck him. If I was a couple of minutes late that was his problem. I took my time, passing over Canterlot at a leisurely pace, smiling at the idea that that prick was bored and annoyed waiting for me. Maybe I should get a new douchebag to ignore this week?

Even taking as much time as I could, eventually I landed in front of the building and headed inside. I made a beeline for the receptionist.

“Appointment for Gilda.”

“Yes, you’re late a few minutes.”

“And?” I asked in a growl.

“Nothing. He’ll see you right away,” she answered quickly. “Room three.”

I moved through the building to room three, sighing as I did. Shit, did I really just have to push everypony around like that? Was I really such a bitch?

Yes.

“No one asked you,” I muttered.

Glancing through one of the windows, I froze wide eyed as I saw a feminine male gryphon with my colors sitting on a couch and talking to somepony that had their back turned. Shaking my head I looked in again and saw that it wasn’t actually a feminine gryphon male, just a normal looking female. Her colors were fairly close to mine, but a bit lighter and with green crown feathers.

“Fuck,” I murmured and stopped in front of a door with a three on it. Shaking my head clear again, I knocked and waited.

The door creaked open and there he sat at his stupid fancy desk, a small smile tugging at his lips. “Ah, Gilda, a pleasure to see you again. I thought our previous meeting would be our last.”

“Last time you signed me out with less bullshit. You’re better than that asshole who tried to talk to me about being a ‘sexual crime victim’ for an hour and a half before getting bored and finally letting me go.” I walked in and handed him the sheet. “Just sign this, I’m gone, and you’re getting paid for an hour’s work without doing anything.”

“Very well.” With a flourish of his pen, he handed the sheet back to me. “How’s your marefriend? And again, I apologise about last week.”

“Oh, well you’re sorry, so that makes it all better,” I muttered and glanced down at the sheet, making sure he filled it all in right.

“Do not worry, I crossed all the ‘t’s and dotted all the ‘i’s. I am not here to get you into trouble, merely to help.”

“Help by telling Luna I’m not crazy and that she should leave me alone.” I folded the paper up and tucked it under my wing.

Does anyone believe that at this point? There isn’t a single sentient in your life that doesn’t think you’re crazy these days, including you.

“Sorry, but just because I’m willing to let you have an extra hour in your life does not mean I’m willing to lie to a princess.” He sighed and folded his glasses. “You know, she does care about you.”

I laughed at that, and turned around to look at him. “A stalker that kidnaps a mare, locks her in his basement, rapes her and swears every day that he loves her sure as fuck cares about that mare. Luna can ‘care about me’ all she wants, doesn’t change the fact I wouldn’t piss on her if someone set her mane on fire.”

He blinked and looked out the window before glancing up at the sky. “The fact that you can say that without being sent to the sun, is a testament to how much she likes you.”

“Fuck if I know why, I sure never tried to get in her good books. I wouldn’t wish what Luna put me through on anyone. At the end of it all she turns around and tries to be bff’s with me or some shit? Fuck her. I don’t want her shitty job, and I don’t want her trying to help me. Actually, you can write that down and tell her I said so.”

“Maybe she’s trying to make it up to you,” he said.

“Well given that she’s never once even fucking apologised about it, that sounds like bullshit to me. And fuck it, I wouldn’t want her apology anyway. Not like that’s gonna make me ‘uncrazy’ again, or make my eyes normal, or let me catch a decent night’s sleep for once instead of feeling like complete crap all hours of the day.” I shook my head and glared out the window. “I don’t want her to make it up to me, I want her to leave me alone.”

“And have you actually told her that without swearing? Being a mare of logic, she may think your emotions are clouding your judgment.”

“I haven’t had a straight word with Luna since... Fuck, at least since after that whole mess was over. No, I haven’t told her that, and I shouldn’t have to either. If she doesn’t even understand what she did to me than she’s not going to understand that I hate her and I can’t trust her. For all I know this Royal Guard job is gonna throw me back in the ring with a horde of angry mutants and nearly get Trixie killed again.”

“So you’re doing this to protect Trixie?”

“I...” I held a claw against my head and frowned, “Maybe? I have a ton of reasons, but... Yeah, every time I think of taking her up again I see Trixie back there... damn near killing herself just to save me... I mean, I only met Trixie because Luna blackmailed me into hunting her down, did she tell you that? When she met us we were just expendable pawns, she didn’t even bother telling us about... Fuck, anything. She didn’t even warn us about... shit, nightmares you can’t even imagine.”

“And you don’t think she’s changed?”

“I don’t know...” I muttered, and realised somehow I’d ended up sitting on his couch. Fuck... Did I really just open up like that? Whatever, I sighed and shrugged. “And if she has what does it matter?”

“Well if she has, then she won’t put you two in danger needlessly or without consent, right?”

“But I don’t know if she has changed,” I snapped back at him, “And I can’t know if she’s changed. To her we’re all just... meat. Sacks of bone and muscle that wander around, occasionally doing something that pisses her off or amuses her. She doesn’t look at a pony and see a... you know, a pony with a story and parents or anything like that, she just sees a tool or an obstacle. Something that’ll amuse her, or something that’ll get in her way.”

“Really? How curious, from the way Eclipse talks about her, it’s with reverence.”

“Well I don’t know what drugs he’s taking,” I muttered. “When I knew her she was... callous. She was the coldest most uninterested bitch I’d ever met. And my brother was a freaking Wide Eyes. I’ve known a lot of scary ponies...” I sighed and mumbled under my breath, “At least Nightmare had the grace to laugh when she fucked me.”

“And yet you say she may have changed. From the sound of things, she is trying to make it up to you with the housing and stipend and so forth.”

“Even if she has changed, even if somehow she’s miraculously turned around and stopped being a complete monster, I’d still kill anyone that did half of what she has. It doesn’t matter if she’s changed or not, because... because... every time I think of her the feathers on the back of my neck stand up, and I feel like I need to snap something in half. I’m angrier at her than I’ve ever been at anyone.”

“It definitely sounds like you have a reason to be pissed off at her, but is that anger healthy?”

“Who cares if it’s healthy? It’s there, and I have to deal with it. Have you ever completely snapped? I mean completely flown off the fucking wall, red cloud over your eyes and half an hour later you calm down, and you’re standing there wondering what the fuck you just did? I hadn’t until I met Luna. I’ve always been angry, always had my issues, but it was only after she started fucking with me that I completely lost it. I’m not even sure I can control myself anymore. Every fucking day there’s this little part of me constantly niggling and pointing out everything that’s pissing me off and how close I am to just losing it again and... Goddesses damn me, what if Trixie gets hurt? Not because Luna throws her in the firing line again, but because I’ve lost it just from being in the same room as Luna for too long? I’m scared of what she’ll do to me, and what I might do to Trixie because of it.”

“Well maybe you need to learn to let go of your anger.”

“I know, I know...” I rested my forehead against my palms. “I need to get myself under control again... Lately I’ve been doing these breathing exercises that one of the other shrinks recommended, and that’s helped a bit, but... The other day I screamed at Trixie. I was so angry at her that I shouted and stood over her and made her flashback to being beaten by her alcoholic mother. How fucked up is that? I seriously made Trixie afraid I was about to attack her and made her feel like she was a helpless foal again.”

“That certainly does not sound healthy.” He pulled out a sheet of paper and began writing on it. “Here, take this. Considering how active you are, exercise may be the best solution. This here is for a punching bag as well as a treadmill, if you ever feel frustrated wear yourself out and work out that anger.”

“Gee, no free drugs?” I smirked and took the sheet. “Rip off.”

“Maybe next time.” The drawer opened and he rummaged around for a bit. “Also, have a stress ball. I doubt you’ll use it, but it might be useful.”

“I was joking about the drugs,” I said flatly. “I’m not taking any happy pills. I’ve seen what zapstract does to gryphons, if you try to push any of that shit on me I’m cramming that bottle right back up your ass.”

He simply chuckled and shook his head. “Very well.”

I didn’t even bother taking the stress ball when I stood up and turned away. “Fuck, I was supposed to bolt the moment I got that signature, did you hypnotize me to stay or some shit?”

“As amusing as that would be, I do not have a death wish.”

I must have been more fucked up than I thought. Did I seriously just unload on one of these shit brained shrinks like that? Damn. Whatever, I probably just needed someone to bitch to for a bit. Help me get some of the crap out of my head.

I paused at the door, wondering if I needed to say bye or something, before I shrugged and walked out. Not like I was friends with the guy.

Pulling the door shut behind me, I headed down the hall and glanced into the room with the female gryphon. She was gone, but that psychiatrist was still there. The receptionist watched me warily as I passed by her, but didn’t say anything. 

When I was back outside I thought about what I wanted to do next, when I realised that with Trixie out, now might be a good chance to get back to the apartment and sleep a bit. Damn, it’s almost like I’m as lazy as Dash is these days, but at least I have an excuse to be asleep at three in the afternoon.

When I got back to the apartment Trixie was gone so I had a quick shower and made a beeline for the bed. It was minutes before I was out like a light.





With a groan, I rolled over so that I was on my front and began stretching out my limbs. A happy little moan escaped as I felt my muscles ease and limber up. I was glad Vinyl wasn’t around, I was not in the mood to be teased about acting like cat, plus, I didn’t get what she had against cats. I sighed as I snuggled back into the bed and wrapped the blanket around me. Whatever time it was, it was far too early to be getting up.

Just as I was about to drift off, I opened a bleary eye and looked straight at Eclipse who was staring back at me.

“You know, the whole ‘watch a pony sleep’ thing is really creepy and not at all romantic right?” I yawned. “Don’t you have somewhere to be?”

“No,” he replied. “I was told to watch you, so I have. There was nothing romantic about it.”

“But it’s creepy~!” Rubbing my eyes and tried to get my eyes to focus. “Maybe I should watch you sleep.”

“I’d imagine you have better things to do with your day. Nightkin are nocturnal.”

“I dunno about that,” I said with a grin. “Messing with you is super fun.”

“I find myself wondering just how long I’ve known you. I can only remember a handful of mares with your personality, but it’s possible that you’ve been following me and secretly inconveniencing me for your amusement for years.”

“No doubt you’d enjoy that. A mare that’s actually interested in a boring pony like you.” I stuck my tongue out playfully before giggling at his cocked eyebrow.

“And again we come back to the fact that you’re not actually a mare. My interest in you stops right there, I’m afraid. Tell me, do you behave like this normally, or are you just delirious from starvation or something?”

“Starvation,” I said. “Or maybe it’s from the emotional high. Or from still being half asleep. I don’t suppose I could feed off you? Pleeeeeeeease?”

“I’d rather you didn’t. You’re still technically a prisoner, and I’m rather wary of the idea. I’m sure Luna will find some source of nutrition for you in the near future, rest assured.”

“You do realise that under international law, you are obliged to provide adequate food for all prisoners, correct?” I chuckled at his surprised look. “Hey, just ‘cause I’m a changeling, it doesn’t mean I don’t know anything.”

He shifted uncomfortably then frowned at me. “How hungry are you actually? If you’re truly starving... I suppose I have to feed you, otherwise though, I’d rather wait for you to find alternate sustenance.”

“Weeeeeeeeeell we can feed passively, but that requires someone who actually, you know, feels emotions.” Another yawn escaped. “And we normally get passive emotions from Chrysalis, but I’m kinda cut off in this little room. Also, the silence is really awkward.”

“Are you likely to collapse any time soon from lack of sustenance?”

“I’m pretty certain you have to feed me before I collapse.”

“Yes, but I’d rather put off feeding you until it’s absolutely necessary.”

“This is cruel you know. Torture even. Maybe I should tell Celestia or Luna about it, I wonder how the other nations would react to such blatant disregard for international law.”

“Gryphons would likely applaud it. They truly detest your species.”

“The feeling is mutual.”

He paused in thought at that. “Wait, aren’t you often disguised as Vinyl Scratch? Hasn’t she been one of the most vocal supporters of the gryphons? If you hate them why would you want to help them?”

“Who said I hate them? I love them! Great balls of fuzziness and insanity .”

“...I’ve personally never known any gryphons more than passing acquaintances, but I’m not sure I’d ever describe one as a ball of fuzziness. Perhaps insanity, but that feels like a rather harsh generalisation.”

“They’d take it as a compliment.” I waved him off with a hoof. “Stop being so uptight about everything.”

“Regardless, you just told me ‘the feeling is mutual’ when it comes to gryphons hating changelings.” He tilted his head at me, and asked, “Why is it that you like them so much, then? Have you spent time as a spy in the Kingdom?”

“I dunno what you’re talking about.”

“I’ll take that as a yes,” he smirked.

“Please, I would be a poor spy if I gave that away. I’m SC remember? Scout. That’s who I am and what I am.”

“But aren’t you defecting now? Why bother keeping secrets when Luna will have them all from you soon anyway?”

“Principle,” I replied. “Now, you gonna let me feed or are you going to turn around and not stare at me while I sleep?”

“Neither I’m afraid. You won’t feed off me, and I’ll continue to guard you.”

“You can guard without being creepy. Turn around please, or at least stop staring at me while I sleep. Seriously. Talk about stalker.” I made a shooing motion with my hooves. “At least get me a cup of green tea or something.”

He opened his mouth to answer when we both heard the sound of a door opening and hoofsteps as a pony approached my room. A moment later Princess Celestia came into view, and Eclipse immediately bowed to her.

“Princess,” I noticed he didn’t bow as much for Celestia as he did for Luna.

“Sergeant,” she responded coolly. “Anything to report?”

“No your highness. The changeling has requested someone to feed on, but other than that nothing worthy of note.”

Celestia glanced towards me. “You’re hungry?”

“Yep! Also, can I request a guard who’s more fun to be around?”

She raised an eyebrow at me, before glancing at Eclipse. “Sergeant, if you would feed it.”

He hesitated slightly, “Y-yes, your highness.” Then he turned and trotted closer, before he stood awkwardly in front of me. “I’m not sure how to... proceed.”

“Come now, I don’t bite.” I licked my lips. “Unless you ask nicely that is.”

“No, I mean I’m not sure how you feeding off me would work mechanically. What’s... required of me?”

“Hm...” I tapped my hooves together. “Think of something... angry. I’m in the mood for something spicy this morning and it’ll help wake me up.”

He blinked in surprise. “That’s all? Just... get emotional?”

“Well I can bite on your neck if you want,” I offered helpfully.

“That’s not necessary,” he replied flatly. “Getting emotional just doesn’t come naturally.” After a moment, he sighed and stared straight ahead. He stood like that for a minute or two before biting his lip. He stomped his hoof and continued to stare at a wall intensely. “Alright. Does that work for you?”

I leaned in close, my horn touching his forehead as I drew on his emotions. There was something there, though not nearly as strong as Vinyl. Within the first couple of seconds I got a blast of raw heat that radiated outwards and flowed through my limbs. A couple more seconds and I got that smoky, almost burnt aftertaste, and to my surprise, there was a hint of bitterness in there as well. Something sad then, not surprising, but still interesting.

Pulling back slowly, the connection between us sparked and fizzed before finally popping out of existence.

“See? Now that wasn’t so bad, was it?” I asked.

He shifted and took a step back, frowning at me. “I hope this doesn’t become a regular thing.”

“It very well may, Sergeant,” Celestia interrupted. “We aim to keep knowledge of this changeling limited, so its food sources are also limited. You may be its only source of sustenance for some time.”

Eclipse’s jaw tightened, and he shot me a look before bowing at the princess again.

“So Princess C, whatcha up to? Surely you’ve got better stuff to do than chatting with a little changeling like me.”

“You might be surprised,” she replied. “With my sister’s return I have more time to myself than I used to, and yes, I am here merely to chat.” Celestia glanced at Eclipse. “Sergeant, you’re relieved for the moment.”

“Yes, Princess,” he bowed again and left the room.

When he was gone Celestia turned back to me, and shook her head. “An impossibly dry one, isn’t he?”

“Yes! Finally, someone else who agrees with me.”

She turned to look at me and asked, “Tell me about yourself.” Celestia gracefully took a seat on one of the cots. Don’t ask me how you’re supposed to gracefully sit on something that’s clearly way too small for you, she just did it.

“Um... what?” I stared at her blankly. “You’re not serious. Are you?”

“Yes. I am,” she said firmly, and I got the impression I was a bug. And I mean like a bug compared to a pony, not a changeling. “To be abundantly clear with you, if this conversation goes poorly there’s the distinct possibility that I will incinerate you well before its end. ” She gave a polite, almost motherly smile. “So, tell me a little about yourself.”

“O-Okay...” I gulped and licked my suddenly dry throat. “To be perfectly honest I was content being what I was until the whole gryphon incident happened. That was a huge shock. When those chemicals got in and they escaped, Chrysalis couldn’t stem the flow of experiences and emotions. It was a constant war, and every so often, they would leak through the dam she had constructed. Yeah, a shot to the head. A jolt of electricity.Whatever you want to call it. It was... odd.”

“How so?” she prodded.

“We’re not meant to feel emotions you know. Not in that way, in that manner and it opened my eyes to something insane and crazy.” A laugh escaped. “Not sure why I’m telling you this since you’re freaking Goddess Celestia. If Chrysalis is to be believed, you created the world, can read the minds of those around you, and even if you couldn’t, you’re so old with such a grasp on the nature of every creature that you might as well be.”

“Well, I don’t know about creating the world, but it was quite the light show,” she smiled coyly. “And if you try to lie to me, I will know before you finish the sentence. So, when was it that your emotions started to affect you?”

I gulped and nodded. “Well it was when I shifted onto Vinyl. She has an... over abundance of emotions that was really hard to control, and I’d slip and let them leak through. Every single damn time that happened I remembered the shock from before and... well... At first it was me losing my grip, but soon I was poking my hoof in, then my head, and...” I shrugged. “I used Vinyl as an excuse to get that jolt. It was... addictive. And then she fell in love.” A sigh escaped. “I suppose you could say I got too close to her and here I am.”

“Do you know if other changelings have been affected in a similar way?” Celestia asked.

“If they have, Chrysalis killed them. She keeps a tight rein on emotions.”

“Why weren’t you rooted out as well? How did you manage to hide?”

“There’s too many of us for her to keep track of everything. A hint here, a blip there, as long as I was careful and did it while feeding, it’d be hard to track.”

Celestia nodded. “You say that Chrysalis herself is in Canterlot? Did you ever meet or see her?”

“Yes. She visited me in Vinyl’s apartment.” It felt like the words were being ripped out of my mouth. Like the entire thing was done in a daze, with those eyes drawing me in with every second that passed.

“What did she want from you?” Celestia leaned in closer, not breaking eye contact.

“She wanted to know why I wasn’t doing my job properly. I left a meeting early because I was afraid Octy would be caught in the crossfire.” I cursed my loose tongue for using Octavia’s nickname. “She’s also interested in Gilda and the Bearers of Harmony.”

“That gryphon again,” Celestia sighed. “Did she mention anything at all about why she would want you to spy on them in particular?”

“She wants to play up racial tension,” I said in a strangled voice. “I don’t know why, but she wants to push both sides, push them apart, make a big deal out of it.”

Celestia frowned thoughtfully and paused for a moment, before looking back to me. “So, back to you. Have you ever killed a sentient before?”

“Yes.”

“Who, where, when, and why?” she followed up.

“During the gryphon incident. I was sent out with... with... with a squad to eliminate some gryphons and mutant changelings.” My limbs were trembling violently and all I could see were her eyes. “I got promoted from that, but... it was horrible.”

“Hmm, genuine remorse? Curious.” She noted idly. “Was that the only time?”

“Yes.”

Her gaze hardened, and her mane started to flicker more rapidly and brighten, looking less like a flowing stream of gentle rainbow and more like white hot fire. “I told you not to lie to me.”

“I- It’s-” A strangled cry escaped as I collapsed, the edges of my vision turning green as blood vessels broke. “Once. A pony. I- I didn’t mean to. I fed too much, got out of control, lost myself in her emotions and-”

“When and where was this?”

“My first time on a mission. Appleloosa. A mare. So gorgeous. So very, very gorgeous with an absolutely divine singing voice. Green mane, blue fur, two half eaten apples for her cutie mark.”

Celestia nodded at me, seemingly satisfied, but her mane didn’t turn back to normal. “And where have you served Chrysalis in the past? The Kingdom I assume, but where in it specifically. And where else?”

“Mainly the borders, tiny villages and small towns. I did come into Canterlot once, and I spent a year in Manehattan following Cadence, but that was it.”

“Hmm... We’ll have to fully debrief you another time. It will be interesting to see what Chrysalis has been up to these past years.” Her glared on me hardened. “Was it your intent to get Rainbow Dash hurt in that bar fight?”

“N-No! I just wanted her to relax and get some crap off her chest. Honest!” Every fiber of my being told me to run away, but as long as her eyes were on me, it was impossible to move.

After a moment she said, “You are a surprisingly mixed book, at least compared to what I was expecting.” She gave no indication whether or not it was a pleasant surprise, other than watching me with a thoughtful expression. After a moment she gave a little tilt of her head, and said, “At the very least,you’re better than Luna’s other new pet .” Her mane stopped flickering like someone set it on fire, and returned to its usual rainbow waviness.

Whatever it was she had done to me vanished and my entire body hit the ground, heavy panting filling the silence. Ichor rolled down my face and I wiped my nose clean, but even that simple action resulted in my hooves shaking uncontrollably.

“I hope this has been educational for you, SC-0619. As long as you stay loyal to me and my little ponies, I don’t believe I’ll ever have to talk with you like this again. Do you require more sustenance?”

Once a day. That was the safety limit, but... My eyes flicked up to Celestia. “Once every two days.”

“Lying to me about your own health is still lying to me.” Celestia warned sternly. “Would you like to try that again?”

“Once a day,” I whispered, utterly defeated.

“And you’re not feeling drained after our talk?”

“... A bit of food would be lovely.”

“Then I’ll have Eclipse feed you.” Celestia reached down, and offered a hoof to help me stand again.

As much as I wanted to smack her hoof away, I was too tired to do anything. That and I think I wet myself, and if I stood up, she’d notice. All I really wanted to do was curl up into a ball and cry myself to sleep or something. Was that mind magic? Her horn never glowed, not even once, but that pressure on my mind, pressing down on all sides. It reminded me of Chrysalis at her worst.

What had I gotten myself into?

“I-I’m fine here. On the ground.” I paused and added, “Scared shitless.” If I didn’t say that last bit, she’d probably incinerate me on the spot for lying again.

“If it’s where you’re most comfortable.” Celestia stepped away. “Remember that as long as you’re loyal to me and my sister, and as long as you’re not a threat to the wellbeing of any of my little ponies, I’ll fight just as hard to protect you as I would any other Equestrian. Understand that as long as you’re faithful, this will be a one-time affair.”

“Fuck, why would anyone fight against you?” I groaned. “You’d take down an army by yourself.”

“Threats to me are few and far between,” she answered calmly. “Threats to my little ponies on the other hoof... Well, you’re here aren’t you? Chrysalis is taking an interest in Equestria, more than ever before, and that concerns me. What happened in the Griffon Kingdom last year? I do not permit that to happen here.”

“How do your ponies think you’re so lovely?” I sighed. “I think I’m starting to agree with Gilda.”

“Gilda is a trained and experienced killer, guilty of close to twenty counts of murder and has a personal grudge against my sister. She’s clearly not sane, hasn’t shown any remorse for any of that acts she’s committed, and has connections to the Kingdom’s Wide Eyes.” Celestia frowned. “Her opinion is invalid, given that she’s exactly one of the threats to my ponies that I just mentioned.”

“And Chrysalis is looking for weapons against you. She sounds like an ideal one with her public pres-” I gulped at the glare she directed in my direction. Turns out correcting a goddess is a really bad idea.

“My sister has plans for her, for now I’m content to leave it at that.”

“O-Okay.”Could I shrink back any further? I could certainly try.

“If you need anything, feel free to send Eclipse for one of the servants. Stay here until my sister comes.” She gave me a polite, gentle smile, before turning and walking out the door. She paused in the frame, over her shoulder at me. “I’m sure you already know, but don’t try to escape. We may appear relaxed about this, but if you take one step out of this cell without me or my sister present, well... I doubt I really need to say anything other than that.”

I nodded until it felt like my head was going to snap off.

“Good. Try to get some rest, the nightkin ritual is extremely draining.” And with that she left the room, leaving me alone with an open door. Not that I was stupid enough to even think of using it. But it was tempting, so very tempting to rush out there and try to make it out. Even if I died, it probably would be a win for me.

Fuck my life. Seriously. Just fuck it. Was there some deity out there laughing at me? There was, wasn’t there? Well fuck her too! My life?Perfect example of what not to do.

“Bluey?”

Bloody Tartarus, I should just run out there and see how many I can take down with me. One? Two? Who cares! The more the merrier. Maybe I should rip out a throat, how about a spine? A spine would be cooler. Ever beaten someone to death with their own spine? Neither have I, but there’s a first time for everything.

“Bluey? Why are you on the floor?”

Heh, I wonder what Celestia’s face would be like. Priceless no doubt. Bloody fucking everywhere-

A hoof stomped down in front of my face, causing me to yelp and scramble back. Eclipse stood there, a look of surprise on his face.

“Bluey?” he asked. “Are you okay? You have...” he waved a hoof in front of his face. “Goo, on you.”

I wiped it off and flicked it onto the ground, a growl rumbling in the back of my throat. “Bloody fucking ponies, fucking with my life. She probably thinks of me as a toy!”

“Not exactly,” he answered and bent down so he was on my level. “I suspect you’re in the same boat as the nightkin. A threat until you can prove yourself otherwise. Do you need me to hel-”

My hoof slammed into his face, causing him to stumble back.

“Oh shut the fuck up, you! You don’t even care about me, stop it with the stupid act. I’m a changeling for goddesses sake, I can read your bucking emotions!” I screamed.

He rubbed a hoof against his face, before shrugging and stepping back out of my hoof range. “Am I that transparent? I thought about it, and decided we could be friends or make life hard for each other. Given that we would apparently be working together, I opted for the friends route. True, I have no attachment to you, but most friendships start out at a level of a mutual lack of concern for each party’s wellbeing. We have common ground, thus common interest, and I decided that seemed like as good an excuse as any to try and be friends with you.” 

“Whatever! It was Celestia wasn’t it? She wants you to get into my mind, to do your freaky nightkin crap and make sure I’m all sane and shit. Well guess what? Screw this, screw you, screw everything! I’m done. Death here I come an-”

Crack!

I slowly raised a hoof to my cheek, just to make sure that I wasn’t imagining the stinging pain.

“Apologies,” he nodded at me as I stared at him in shock. “You looked like you needed that. You also just slapped me, so I think we can call ourselves even.”

I just stared at him with wide eyes, unable to think of anything. Whatever anger and resentmentI had was gone, leaving behind this empty void. Something I was acquainted so well with, but loathed just as much. When was the last time I felt this? This... normality? I hated it, I hated everything about it. Emotions, I wanted—no—I needed those emotions. I felt so empty without them, hollow... pointless.

“Perhaps you should take a seat, you look rather overwhelmed.” Cautiously he stepped closer to me, watching in case I tried to slap him again.

“Y-Yeah...” I nodded weakly and sat down in the chair, staring at him blankly.

“She mentioned you might be hungry again, would you like me to feed from me? Or perhaps a glass of water. I’d suggest a stiff drink, but I’d have to go to the barracks for one.”

“Tea,” I whispered. Or maybe thought? It was so hard to tell.

“Alright, I’ll go find a servant. Stay here, I’ll be back in a moment.” He put a hoof on my shoulder comfortingly, before standing up and leaving me alone in the cell again.

What... what happened? All I could remember was a swirl of emotions and thoughts. What had he said? What had I done? Why did he slap me? Had I... had I lost control? Fed off my own self-pity and anger? I had been so careful. Always making sure to get a taste, enough to satisfy the craving within, but I had lost it.

Right? That was the only explanation. I had lost it and I...

My hooves shook uncontrollably, though whether that was from fear or something else was an entirely different matter. All that mattered right now was that I had lost control and that scared me more than it should have. Some tea, I needed some green tea to calm myself down.

Eclipse reappeared, a tray with a pot and two cups on it, resting on his wing. He sat down next to me, and poured out a cup before passing it to me. I picked it up and sipped at it, gagging at the taste and the way it flowed down my throat. It was so... wrong. Whatever tea this was, it most certainly wasn’t green tea. Still, it was the thought that mattered, right?

“I can empathize with what you’re going through,” Eclipse said after a moment. “It’s just starting to settle in, isn’t it? There’s no going back, and the decision you just made is going to be with you for the rest of your life. I had a similar freak out, but Luna set me straight.”

“You don’t get it, do you?” I whispered. “She hates me because I’m a changeling, not because I want to become a nightkin. If she even allows that to happen.”

“She doesn’t hate you,” he put a hoof around my shoulder and I immediately shrugged it off. “Look I... Celestia’s just... Oh goddesses, I’m out of my league here... Um...”

“Look, I appreciate whatever it is you’re doing, but no. No emotions, not now. I...” I don’t think I can handle it. “Just. Whatever. Thanks.”

He rubbed a hoof against his forehead. “Um... let me ask you this, why did you come here in the first place? To protect your friends, right?”

“Does it matter?” I shook up, my legs still shaking uncontrollably as ichor dripped onto the ground. “Is there a shower in here somewhere? I need to get cleaned up.”

“Yes, it matters. You did this to protect your friends, didn’t you? Are your friends safe now?”

“Who knows? Maybe Celestia will have them arrested and tortured for information.”

“Some of her own ponies? Not likely. I’m trying to say, you came here selflessly, and achieved a noble end. You should try to take comfort in that.”

“I said, no emotional crap and I mean it. Now, where is the bloody bathroom or do I need to beat it out of you?” I snarled.

He sighed, defeated, and stood up. “I know it’s hard to believe it right now, but trust me, things will turn out fine. Don’t give Celestia reason to harm you and she won’t. It helps to remember that even if she is against us, Luna’s on our side.”

“On your side. I’m still a changeling, and don’t give me that look. I saw the shock on your face and I remember how you acted when I revealed myself. Admit it, if ponies hate gryphons then ponies want to exterminate all changelings.”

“A thousand years ago, every tribe of pony hated the others, and wanted them gone. Sure, ponies hate changelings now, and... I’ll admit I was caught off guard, but be a positive example of your species, and maybe one day things will change for the better. Prove them wrong, and be better than them in every way. Or at least try.”

“Whatever.” I glared at him. “Now can you please leave me alone?”

“Do you want to feed before you clean up?”

“I don’t need to feed.”

“I said ‘want’. I figured you could use something to help calm down.”

“And I’m letting you know there’s absolutely no need to do so.” I rubbed my temples and sighed. “Look, emotions right now would be the worst thing anyone could do. I just fed, I’m running on a full meal and I’m fine. What I need is a nice relaxing shower. So, if you’re going to stay, shut the fuck up and act like a statue.”

“I can’t offer a shower, but would a bucket of warm water and a sponge suffice?”

Silence.

“How the fuck am I meant to wash my back with a sponge!?” I jabbed a hoof at him. “You just want to see me naked don’t you ? That’s what this is all about! You perv! Out! Out!”

“I think we already established that I don’t find you attractive,” he said flatly as he stood up and walked towards the door.

“If that helps you sleep at night. And seriously, no shower? Come on! Gimme a shower!”

“You’re not to leave this cell until Luna disconnects you from the hive mind.”

I groaned and slammed my head against the wall. “Can I at least get a bath then?”

“Are you joking? I’m not dragging a bathtub all the way down here from one of the guest apartments. A sponge and a bucket, that’s all any prisoner is offered.”

“You’ve got magic. I’ve got magic. A third of the freaking population has magic! Just, you know, magic something up or something!”

“You may have magic, but you’re not allowed to the leave the room. I may have magic, but it’s not intended to move large weights, and a third of the population may have magic, but none of them are permitted to know of your existence.” He leaned against the doorway, looking amused with himself.

“I can disguise myself. You can just have them lug it up where while I hide. Come on, all I’m asking for is being clean.”

He just shook his head. “All I can offer is a sponge bath. If you’re not interested, then we can wait until Luna arrives and ask her for permission to leave the cell.”

I glared at him and huffed. “Fine.”

“‘Fine I’d like to wait’, or ‘fine I want a sponge bath’?”

“Fine be a perv and don’t offer me any privacy,” I shot back.

“I’ll be sure to avert my eyes,” he replied dryly as he walked away. “Such a shame though, nothing like a shapely exoskeleton to get the blood moving.”

“See? You admit it.” I stood up and stretched my legs, finally able to stand without falling over like an idiot. “What was that before anyways? The whole ‘Oh, I love you soooomuuuuuuch,’” I said, mimicking his voice perfectly.

I heard the sound of a tap running, and water filling a vessel nearby. “I never said that. And please don’t mimic me, it’s rather off putting.”

“It might as well be considering how emotionless you are.” I snorted in amusement. “You could pass as a changeling.”

He came back into sight, a bucket between his teeth which he dropped on the ground in my doorway, before taking out a sponge and resting it on my bed with some soap. “They were out of shampoo, but you lack hair so I don’t imagine it will be an issue.” He turned around and stepped out of the room, closing the door behind him and facing the wall away from him. “I’m not emotionless.”

“Yes you are, and you never answered my question. Were you being serious or not?” I picked up the sponge and began running it over my exoskeleton, sighing happily at the sensation. “Also, got any wax?”

“I was actually considering making a joke about finding some polishing wax, but decided against it. I thought it might be offensive.”

“It’s more or less a guilty pleasure. Kinda like liking Sapphire Shores.” I began running the sponge over my legs before sitting down so I could get my stomach and chest. “We generally don’t have time to actually make ourselves look nice, but it’s a form of grooming.”

“Couldn’t you just use your magic to make yourself look nice? Seems more practical to me.”

“Would you use your magic to look better? Would a unicorn?” I asked with a cocked eyebrow, not that he could see me anyways.

“Is it really the same thing?”

“Isn’t it?” Raising the bucket up, I dumped some water over my face before shaking it off like a dog.

“I suppose. But isn’t changeling magic more complicated than an illusion? I thought it was a genuine change in form.” He looked over his shoulder at me. “Finished?”

I threw the sponge at his face. “No, not finished!”

He looked back ahead, chuckling. “I don’t see why mares even feel the need for privacy. The showers in the barracks are shared, none of us complain.”

“Perv,” I growled as I began slathering up my body with the soap, making sure to get my back as I did so. “And it is actual body changing, but it’s still a lie.”

“I suppose,” he conceded.

“Aaaaaanyways, you never answered the original question.” I glared at the back of his head. “Also, throw the sponge back will you?”

The sponge skittered across the floor on a blanket of shadows, looking almost like a yellow mouse. “Does your bucket need a refill?”

I threw it at the back of his head making him yelp in pain, and turn around clutching the back of his head. “Was that truly necessary?” 

“I’m still naked your perv!” I yelled, using my hooves to cover my body. “Around! Around! Or the sponge will end up where it don’t belong.”

“We’re naked all the time anyway,” he muttered facing ahead again, and picking the bucket with his teeth. “And ‘at ‘urt,” he muttered around the bucket’s handle, rubbing the back of his head.

“Your fault for turning around.” I threw the sponge at the back of his head for good measure. “And stop dodging the fucking question!”

He didn’t reply as he walked away, before disappearing around the corner. Again I heard the sound of water filling the bucket, and a moment later he returned with the full bucket in his teeth and a wing covering his eyes. Eclipse set the bucket down in the cell, before turning around and facing the wall again.

“Good boy.” I began splashing the water over my body, watching as the soap ran off and slipped down the drain. “See, that wasn’t so hard, now was it?”

“I’d prefer not to have that thrown at me when you’re done,” he answered flatly.

“So you can learn,” I chuckled as I tipped the rest of the water over me. “Now, can I get a towel and some wax?”

“Towel yes, wax no.” He disappeared down the corridor again, before coming back with a clean white towel, which he held out to me while hiding his eyes behind his wing.

“What! Why? Come on, I took your stinking sponge bath, you could at least give me some wax,” I said as I began drying off.

“I’m not sure we even have wax in the castle,” he turned around. “Maybe there’s some floor wax in one of the supply room?”

“Floor wax,” I said flatly. “Fine.”

“Really?” he sounded surprised. “But that... goes on the floor.”

“It’s wax. Waxing is important for a healthy exoskeleton.”

“If you say so...” he shrugged. “I’ll be back in a minute or two. Don’t do anything stupid in my absence.”

I stuck my tongue out at him as he left the room. Stupid nightkin and his stupid lack of emotions and funness. Luna must be a sadist to put me with him.  Stupid goddesses and their stupid games. Muttering under my breath, I finished drying off and tossed the wet towel on the ground in disgust.

He returned about five minutes later, looking quite pleased with himself. Entering the cell, he held out a container of wax and a buffing pad. “Apparently Lady Dash has a pet tortoise, whose shell requires waxing. I thought turtle wax might be preferable, and she was willing to lend me that. Though if she asks, tell her I have a pet tortoise.”

“Oooooh, that’s high quality stuff.” I snatched it out of his magic and began waxing my hoof, shivering in delight. “You have no idea how nice this feels. Almost makes me sorry for you.”

“Yes, well, don’t worry, I won’t grow envious anytime soon.” He watched me, looking amused and slightly confused by my reaction.

Sure, he was still watching me, but I was beyond caring. As far as I was concerned, I was in heaven as I slowly buffed each hoof before moving onto my legs, making sure to get every single last inch until I could see my own reflection.

“You’re surprisingly flexible,” he commented idly. “At least you are assuming an exoskeleton would hamper movement.”

“Um... I wouldn’t know?” Rolling onto my back, I began working on my stomach with small circular motions. 

He averted his eyes at that. “A changeling with turtle wax, almost like a kitten with cotton. I never imagined I’d be seeing this.”

“Oh shut up.” Once I was done with the underside, I rolled over and glanced over at him. “Do my back will you? I’d do it myself, but there aren’t any mirrors and it’s important to get every inch covered. Patchiness results in itching and cracks.”

“Uh... okay?” he awkwardly took the buffing pad from me and stood behind me, working at my back. “Like this?”

I winced. “Not that hard and in slow circular motions.”

Without commenting, he began to do it like I instructed. It wasn’t the best, but it was better than I could do myself and it still felt damn relaxing anyway. A small moan escaped as I relaxed under the motion, humming in approval.

“Okay, no.” He stepped away from me, taking the pad off and holding it out towards me. “This is too awkward. I’m not comfortable with this.”

“Oh come on, stop being such a prude. At least do my shoulders and I promise to not make any sounds. You’re almost done anyways.”

“I would really rather not.” He looked a little off-put. “This is too much like massaging a marefriend before... affairs.”

“Sex.” I looked at him flatly. “What are you? A foal?”

“Fine then,” he said flatly. “It’s too intimate for someone that’s not family, a partner, or a patient being prodded by a trained professional.”

“What? Just wax my damn shoulders or get me a mirror,” I said.

“Mirror,” he replied instantly, leaving me alone in the room again. He appeared nearly two minutes later with a small hoof mirror, throwing it to the bed next to me, and turning away like I was about to start bathing.

“Oh, so now you’re a gentlecolt,” I muttered as I began working on my shoulders. 

“No, I’m just quite disturbed by the events I almost participated in.”

“Waxing? It’s like going to a professional spa.”

“No, the sounds you were making were far too close to a mare nearing release. In the future, I would rather you ‘waxed’ behind closed doors.”

“Or you’re a perv. Seriously.” I began working on my neck, being careful not to go over the top and damage the thin plate there.

“Says the one who disguises herself as Vinyl Scratch,” he answered curtly.

“As if I had a choice,” I grumbled.

“The point stands.”

“No it doesn’t.” I stuck my tongue out at the back of his head.

“You realise there’s no point in poking your tongue out at me if I can’t see it.”

“I did no such thing!”

“Uh huh, sure.”

“You suck,” I muttered. “And can you help buff my face? I can’t really do it with my eyes closed, you know.”

“Are you going to make sounds?”

“It’s my face. Of course not, don’t be so stupid.”

“Alright then...” he wearily took the pad back, and cautiously started buffing my face again.

I stopped his hoof with my magic. “Careful, this is my face. Very slow, gentle motions.”

Without comment he slowed down and stopped pressing quite so hard. “Better?”

“Yes,” I said, trying hard not to interrupt his actions. “A circle or two is enough per spot.”

“Noted.”

He continued in silence, moving just as I directed while I slowly turned my head so he could get every spot. As he shifted to doing just behind my ears, I said, “And you never answered my original question.”

He didn’t respond, just kept buffing.

With a sigh, I pulled back and stopped his hoof. “Seriously, are you going to answer me at all?”

“I wasn’t planning on it,” he replied. “I wasn’t even sure what you meant when you asked.”

“Do you actually care about me or was that just you trying to get me out of my cycle?”

He sighed, and said, “I’m ill-equipped to deal with any real emotional discussion... I did it to break you out, but... I was open to the idea of actually caring. If that makes sense? No, I don’t care about you, but there’s no reason for me not to if we spend more time together. I’m prepared for friendship, but not experiencing it yet.”

“Al-Alright...” I nodded slowly. “Why?”

“...You seem like you need it, and it’s more pragmatic. Luna says we’re going to be partners, so we can either hate each other, making life miserable for the both of us, or we can attempt to be friends, and enjoy the time spent together.”

“Sounds like a plan.” I held out my hoof in his direction.

“Are you asking for something? Or do you intend I bump it?”

“Bump it, damn you.”

He bumped it, before taking a step away. “Are we done waxing?”

“Gimme a sec.” I began looking over myself, using the mirror to see areas I normally wouldn’t be able to. “Seems like it. Nice job by the way.”

“You’re welcome,” he nodded politely before putting the wax and buffing pad down on a bench. He stood there for a moment, before asking, “Are you feeling better?”

“Yeah. Sorry about the yelling by the way.”

“It’s fine. Like I said, the moment you realise you’re committed to this and there’s no going back this side of death can be overwhelming. I had a similar panic attack, though I understand your situation is more dire.”

“Eeeeeh, it’s more a changeling thing than that specifically.”

“In that case, is there a chance of it happening again?”

“Um... yes...?” I coughed and smiled sheepishly.

“Do you have... instructions on how I can prevent it, or stop it once it’s started?”

“Well... it’s kinda... there’s a reason why changeling’s are meant to feel emotions. We can get stuck in this loop where we feed on our own anger or whatnot that makes us even more angry so we feed even more and get ever angrier and... well...” I made a circular motion with my hoof. “You just have to snap me out of it. Punching works wonders if I’m not too far gone or too angry.”

“Is it damaging to you? Not the punching, I mean the self-feeding. Could there be long term effects if you do it too often? Cannibalising yourself doesn’t sound healthy.”

“No clue, but I doubt it.” I shrugged and raised my hoof, enjoying how shiny it looked. “You just end up dying if no one snaps you out. Imagine being sad or happy and then feeding off that in an infinite loop.”

“Huh... I must say, I don’t envy any of you changelings. It seems like a rather bleak existence.”

“Congrats, you must be a genius.”

“I was merely noting that I can see why you defected.”

“More like Chrysalis.”

“I can’t imagine having no privacy like that, every thought in your head open to some merciless hive master that values you less than a pet cat or trained dog. Your only mercy is that she doesn’t enjoy your suffering.”

“Actually... that’s kinda close. I mean, she probably does view us as well-trained pets. You know, as though we’re toys or something, to be petted when we do something nice.”

“Well, Celestia’s... protectiveness aside, I suspect you’ll be glad you made this choice sooner rather than later.”

“Sure. I just hope Luna isn’t as insane.”

“I’d argue that Celestia is more sane than Luna, but I doubt Luna will treat you the same way Celestia did. You could almost think of it as good cop, bad cop.”

“Please don’t tell me Celestia is the good cop.” A shudder ran down my spine. “I don’t think I could handle that.”

“Celestia is the bad cop, at least as far as we are concerned.”

“I can live with that.” I pressed my hooves together. “So... er... when is this ritual happening?”

“Once the sun goes down, I suspect. Luna only performs the ritual at night, you’ll know when it’s about to happen when she asks you to drink blood and... something else.”

“Blood?Seriously?” I stuck my tongue out. “That’s disgusting.”

“Wait until you try the something else. The blood was... extremely pleasant, actually.”

“I don’t know you anymore.”

“It’s not like that. Something about the ritual changes you, and during it you experience this... fervor. The blood suddenly becomes incredibly sweet, almost hypnotizing, and every sensation becomes ecstatic. I can’t even describe how much I enjoyed have my skin torn off.” 

“...What.”

“I suspect I shouldn’t have told you that. There’s a reason the ritual is kept secret.”

“What.”

“I enjoyed every minute of it.”

“You and your weird, pervy fetishes.”

“There was nothing remotely sexual about it,” he huffed. “Honestly, who would think to mix something like that with carnal pleasures?” 

“Apparently you.”

“It wasn’t sexual. Stop saying that.”

I cleared my throat and mimicked his voice, “‘The blood suddenly becomes incredibly sweet, almost hypnotizing, and every sensation becomes ecstatic. I can’t even describe how much I enjoyed have my skin torn off.’”

“It wasn’t like that, more like... an incredible drug trip. This incredible tingling, freeing, liberating sensation. It’s hard to explain to someone that hasn’t experienced it.” After a second he added, “And don’t do that. It’s creepy.”

“What? This? This look of absolute horror and disgust and fascination and...” I trailed off and grinned. “Are you listening to yourself?”

“Stop using my voice,” he frowned. “And I wouldn’t mock it if I was you, you’ll be experiencing it yourself soon.”

“Well according to you, it’ll probably be ‘very painful’ if I recall correctly.” I looked at him flatly. “And you’re drinking blood. I mean, I know I make a lot of vampony cracks, but geez, I didn’t expect it to be real.”

“It’s not real,” he huffed. “It was just that one time. I don’t even like meat.”

“...You eat meat.” Face meet hoof.

“Luna herself announced that the nightkin can eat meat. Weren’t you paying attention?”

“Oh shut up, you don’t get to mock me.”

“So this is strictly one way then? It’s fair for you to ridicule me, but I’m not allowed to do the same for you?”

“Yes. Yes it is. I’m a gal and you’re a guy.” I gave him a flat look. “You do know the difference between females and males right? Or do I need to turn this into an anatomy lecture?”

“That’s ridiculous. One, there’s no reason a mare and stallion can’t exchange insults if it’s mutual. Two, you’re not actually a mare. And three, of course I know that, don’t be childish.”

“I dunno, it sounds like you don’t. And who said these insults are mutual?”

“Well, you’re insulting me, so if I return them it becomes mutual. If not, then it’s simply abuse. Would you prefer to be abusive?”

“To you? Do you really need to ask that? And here I thought you were smart.”

“Yes, well I for one won’t stand to be in an abusive relationship.”

“So we’re in a relationship now, are we?” My grin was predatory as I began stalking towards him.

“Technically yes.” He rolled his eyes at me. “A relationship is simply two ponies learning of each other together in mutual communication. I have a relationship with my mother, I have a relationship with my brother, I have a relationship with you. And unlike what you’re implying, none of them were or are romantic or carnal in nature.”

“Suuuuuuuure, coming from the guy who just waxed me.” I tried to keep a straight face, but his look of absolute horror made me burst out laughing.

“Th-that wasn’t... You were the one who was making those sounds!  That hardly means anything. We didn’t even have dinner and a drink first!”

That only caused me to laugh harder and though I could feel my emotions calling out to me, I stopped myself from diving straight in. Just a touch was enough to give me that boost I loved so much. A touch was enough for me to give a genuine laugh.

“It’s not that funny,” he muttered. “I merely misspoke.”

A small giggle escaped as I shifted into my unicorn disguise, but with a body shape like Fleur de Lis, before playfully batted my eyelashes at him. “So how about a dinner and drink then?”

“No,” he replied flatly.

“Not your type?” I held up the mirror. “I thought this was what stallions considered hot.”

“The attractiveness of your disguise is irrelevant as long as it’s a disguise. Now stop joking around, it’s making me uncomfortable. I’m starting to worry that you might actually have an interest in me.”

I rolled my eyes, but dropped the disguise. “What can I say? You’re fun to tease.”

“I thought I was emotionless and boring.”

“And the only time you’re not is when you’re being teased.” I licked my lips. “All those delicious emotions.”

He stiffened a tad, before rolling his eyes and shaking his head. “You’re not feeding from me right now.”

“Nope.” I rolled over and let my head hang off the edge of the bed. “We can feed passively, but it’s not enough to sustain us unless it’s like a massive amount of emotions.”

“Regardless, you were just trying to unnerve me, and it didn’t work.”

“Mmmmmmmhm. Whatever you say. Plus, I’m still waiting to see what’s under all that armor before I make my final judgment.”

“Note to self: don’t take armor off.”

I burst out laughing once again and wiped the tears from my eyes. “But I got undressed for you.”

“I’m on duty. If you want to see me out of armor, it won’t be until later today.” He yawned, and mumbled, “Speaking I which, is my over?”

“Heh, I think you’re the only one who knows about me.”

“Unfortunately.”

“Which means I get you all to myself. Aren’t you a lucky one?”

He groaned and looked at the ceiling. “Is there any reason you picked me to escort you into the palace?”

“You’re the one who came up to me and asked if I was alright,” I replied.

“My brother always said I was ‘rocking a massive case of white knight syndrome’.”

“Apparently so,” I chuckled.

He yawned again and rubbed his eyes. “I hope Luna comes soon.”

“Awwwww, is someone sleepy? Shall I tuck you in?”

“We would prefer thou refrained from such behavior, the nightkin do have an image to uphold.” I spun around and there stood Luna with an amused smile on her face. “We must say Sergeant Eclipse, We did not expect such emotions from thee and for the two of you to get along so splendidly. Perhaps placing thee with the changeling is a good idea after all.”

“Nothing of note to report, Princess,” he bowed to Luna. “Celestia spoke to her briefly, but ordered me out of the room. The prisoner and I talked, a lot, but nothing of any particular note was said.”

“We know, We heard all.  Now come, the preparations are done and alterations made to the spell.” She inclined her head towards me slightly. “Whatever you said to Celly... well... Let us just say We are not here to execute you.”

I gulped and nodded.

“Now, it is time.” A small strangled meep escaped as I felt something slither up my leg and draw me down into the ground. It felt like sinking through one of the poisonous swamps back home. “Now, now, do not struggle, this is far more comfortable than teleporting with passengers.”

“Don’t worry, it’s perfectly safe.” Eclipse reassured. “I do it all the time. It’s about as harmful as a cold shower.”

“O-Okay.”

I gulped and watched as the inky blackness swallowed me up. As my shoulder disappeared under the ground I held my breath and squeezed my eyes shut. The chill spread through my entire body followed by what could only be described as a cold snap that flung me back into the air. Eyes snapping open, I stumbled along the cool stone floor, a small shiver running down my spine as I tried to rub warmth back into my limbs.

“Exhale,” Eclipse instructed as he patted my back.

I nodded and tried to breathe, but only coughed out some black smokey crap.

“See? That wasn’t so bad.” Eclipse offered me a hoof to stand up, and I saw the same black smoke coming out of his mouth as he spoke.

“I think I prefer teleporting,” I groaned.

“Have you ever actually teleported?” Eclipse asked. “The one time I did was, well, memorable.”

“Yes. Still prefer it. Actually, I like the changeling version better. It’s cooler too, with all the green fire and stuff,” I chuckled.

“If thou art done flirting,” said Luna as she walked past me. “Please stand in the rune on the ground.”

“‘Flirting’?” Eclipse repeated with a frown as he stepped away from me, out of the circle.

“She’s messing with you,”  I said, though at Luna’s cocked eyebrow, I very much doubted that. Sighing, I stepped into the weird thingie on the ground and made sure to stand in the middle. “Is... is this going to hurt?”

“Possibly.” She tossed a vial at me and I just caught it in my magic. “Drink. Do not worry, it is merely to dampen any pain you might feel.”

A small whimper escaped as I uncorked it and drank it down as though it was a shot. For once in my life, I was glad I had no taste buds because what little I could taste made me want to throw up right there and then. This is what I imagined feeding off Blueblood would be like.

“Good.” She tossed a second red vial at me. “Drink that.”

I held it up into the moonlight before glancing over at Eclipse. “Blood?”

“Think of it as a juice,” he suggested. “But instead of coming from a fruit it comes from a pony.”

I stick my tongue out. “Yuck. Oh well, cheers, future partner.” With a playful toast, I gulped the entire thing down and blinked at the lack of taste. “Huh, that ain’t too bad.”

“What were you expecting?” he asked. “To be set on fire?”

“From the way you talked about it? Yes.”

“Enough talk.” I returned my gaze to Luna and whimpered as I noticed just how much magic she was tossing out so willy-nilly. “Now, this may hurt slightly.”

Dark blue magic spread along the ground, following markings on the ground. One ran past my hoof and sent a jolt of electricity through me, making me yelp and dance back only for black tentacles to hold me down in place. Again and again the magic burnt my hooves, forcing me to dance around on the spot as though I was on hot coals. All of sudden, the entire ground light up in a burst of magic and I felt myself being flung into the air and held there as electricity sparked all around me. I could feel the magic swirling around me, slowly working its way inward and with it, the sparks came closer until it burnt me every second.

And that’s when the real pain came.

Something within me burned and I screamed out in pain as I curled into a ball. It felt like my blood was boiling even as black smoke poured out of my orifices. It felt like my leg broke, like all my legs were broken at the same time. Just this intense pulse of utter agony that ripped another scream out of me. I could taste the blood as I whimpered and the next scream was a mere ghost of what it once was.

Crack!

A scream was ripped from me as I arched once again. The unearthly sound bouncing around in my skull for all to hear. It felt like my insides had been liquefied then brought to a boil. It felt like white hot poles being shoved through my body, like spears through each limb to pin me to the ground.

Again and again it hammered me. Pounded me. Force itself upon my ravaged body like some deprived beast. All I knew was pain. All I understood was pain. Was I even still screaming by this point or had my voice been torn asunder?

Something snapped. Something important. For just a split second there was nothing. No pain, no sadness, no joy, no hope. Not even thought existed. Everything simply was. Dimly I was aware of a voice and two shadows dancing along the moonlight.

Then it crashed down upon me like a tidal wave. Scream after scream was ripped from my lips. I screamed until I was hoarse and ichor ran down the back of my throat, and then I screamed some more. Each limb was moving of its own accord, bending in directions they weren’t meant to, snapping in two again and again. Each and every time a new whimper was drawn out of me. A new squirt of blood.A new scream.

Crack!

My back split open, inky blackness oozing everywhere, burning through the stone floor. I felt myself fall back, plunging into a storm of fire and ice. Cold until my horn froze and shattered. Heat until my eyeballs popped leaving me in the dark. My tongue was swollen, my lips were cracked and I all I could was feel was silence.

And then, nothing.

Each breath came with a gasp of pain. Each breath caused something within me to shift. In fact, I could barely breathe, all I got was a mouth full of bile. I couldn’t feel my legs, not that I still had them. I couldn’t feel that pressure on my chest or that stinging pain from the constant shocks. 

Dimly I was aware of shouting, of bodies and emotions. But I was tired, so freaking tired. I just wanted to close my eyes, to forget about everything and just sleep. Yes. Sleep. Sleep sounded good. So good right now. Just to close my eyes and...

Forget...